THE TWILIGHT ZONE (TV Series) – S3, E1: “Two,” starring Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery!


You know producer Buck Houghton had high hopes for the opening episode of Season 3 of THE TWILIGHT ZONE when it aired on September 15, 1961. It stars up and coming actors of the time, Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery, who were all over TV screens in the 50’s and early 60’s, with Bronson emerging as a strong character actor in movies as well. The two would be major stars within a few years, but they weren’t quite there yet. 

This episode, titled “Two,” opens with “The Woman” (Elizabeth Montgomery), who is wearing a tattered dark military uniform, wandering into a bombed out, deserted city, and spotting the remains of a restaurant. Tired and hungry, she goes in and digs around until she finds an old can of chicken. As she’s opening the can, “The Man” (Charles Bronson), who’s wearing a tattered, light-colored uniform, walks in on her. Immediately attacking him with a combination of meat cleavers, bottles, pots and pans, The Man tries to hold her off until if becomes clear that he’s going to have to subdue her, which he does with one vicious punch that knocks her out cold. At this point it’s clear that these are the last two remaining survivors of a devastating war, on opposing sides no less, that completely destroyed the world. When The Man wakes The Woman up by dumping a pot of cold water on her face, he gives her back her chicken and tells her that there is no reason to fight anymore, as everyone else is dead. She doesn’t understand what he is saying so he walks off in frustration. The Woman doesn’t trust The Man, but she begrudgingly starts to follow him around to keep an eye on him. Will they kill each other? Will they join forces to survive? Could they even fall in love? Writer-Director Montgomery Pittman answers all of these questions over the course of the episode’s brisk 25 minutes. 

The allegorical “Two” was a bold choice to open the popular TV show’s third season with its minimalist production set in a few sections of a single bombed-out town and featuring only two characters who barely even speak, especially Montgomery, who says two words throughout the entire episode. Not that much really happens either, so it’s the type of episode that lives or dies based on the performances of the lead actors, and Bronson and Montgomery both deliver outstanding work. Bronson, a dependable character actor at this point in his career, is especially good as The Man. His square-jawed stoicism unravels enough to reveal a weary vulnerability and desire for a connection with another person, even when they’re supposed to be mortal enemies. It’s ultimately a romantic part and Bronson kills it. For those who mostly know Bronson from his post DEATH WISH action star roles, parts like this are a revelation. Montgomery, still a few years away from beginning her iconic portrayal of Samantha in BEWITCHED, is quite beautiful even when she’s this grimy. Her performance as The Woman is even more challenging as it’s almost completely a physical performance, and she shines as her character transforms over the course of the episode.

Ultimately, “Two” may resolve its setup a little too quickly to be realistic, but I still enjoyed it immensely. The performances are outstanding and its hopeful denouement left me with a smile on my face. 

Horror On TV: The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer (dir by Lela Swift)


Tonight’s televised horror is The Cloning of Clifford Swimmer.  Peter Haskell stars as Clifford Swimmer, an angry jerk who is unhappy with his marriage.  He’s come up with a plan, though.  He’s going to have himself cloned and then, after leaving his clone with his family, he’ll be free to live his life.  However, Swimmer discovers that things never work that simply when it comes to creating a clone.  This is a clever story with a great twist at the end.

It originally aired on November 1st, 1974 as a part of ABC’s The Wide World of Mystery.  Unfortunately, whoever uploaded this film to YouTube has disabled playback so you’ll have to click on the link to watch it!

On-Stage On The Lens: Hamlet From The Lunt-Fontaine Theater (dir by Bill Colleran and John Gielgud)


That Richard Burton is today best-remembered for his tumultuous marriages to Elizabeth Taylor and for his performances in several less-than-worthy films is unfortunate as Burton was also one of the most highly regarded staged actors of his generation.  In fact, late in his life, Burton often expressed regret that he had ever left the stage for films to begin with.

In 1964, Burton played Hamlet on Broadway, in a production that was directed by John Gielgud.  (Gielgud also provided the voice of the Ghost.)  This is a video-recording of both that production and Burton’s acclaimed performance.  Burton brings an intense and almost divine madness to the role.  Watching, one can see why Burton would have preferred to have been remembered for this instead of for playing Mark Antony.

 

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.8 “Escape Into Danger”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey pursues her neighbor and nearly dies.

Episode 1.8 “Escape Into Danger”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on December 2nd, 1957)

Casey Jones (Beverly Garland) returns home from a night shift, hoping to get some rest so that she can get over a bad cold.  (I’ve had enough bad colds that I’m fairly confident that Garland herself was suffering from a cold when she filmed this episode and it was written into the script.)  She discovers that her neighbor, Mary (Madeline Sherwood), has hit her abusive and drunken husband across the back of his head.  Mary is convinced that she’s killed her husband and is terrified that she’ll go to jail.  When Casey informs her that her husband is just knocked out and that everything is going to be okay, Mary doesn’t believe her because Casey is a cop and a cop will say anything to make an arrest.  While Casey is in her apartment calling for an ambulance, Mary flees the scene.

Mary’s husband does die but he dies of acute alcohol poisoning so Mary’s off the hook.  (Apparently, this episode take place in a world where assault isn’t a crime.)  Despite her cold, Casey takes to the streets and searches for Mary.  Knowing that Mary is masseuse, Casey checks out all the massage parlors.  In a move that kind of makes me wonder if Casey is really that good at her job, she decides that she might as well get a massage as well.

The woman who gives Casey the massage is Katy Olin (Virginia Kaye), who is Mary’s sister and a bitter ex-con who hates all cops.  While Katy massages Casey, Mary hides in the changing room.  When Casey says that she’s looking for Mary, Katy has Mary sneak out of the dressing room and choke Casey into unconsciousness.  Mary steals Casey’s gun and then makes her escape.

A few thoughts:

First off, after years of being spoiled by shows like Law & Order, I have to say that I was initially surprised that Casey didn’t know that Mary had a sister or that the sister was an ex-con.  But then I remembered that this episode was filmed in 1957, back before all of that information was available at just the touch of a key.

That said, what type of police officer is going to get a massage while on duty?  Even if Casey had looked up from the massage table and seen Mary trying to escape the room, what was Casey going to do?  Chase her through the streets of New York while wearing a towel?  Also, Casey often seems to just drop her purse anywhere, despite the fact that her purse contains a loaded gun.

Third, Katy mentions to Mary that there’s no way for her to leave the room without walking right past Casey.  So, how did Mary get into the room in the first place and how come Casey didn’t notice her when she first arrived?

Fourth, once Casey wakes up, she takes Katy down to the police station.  Katy’s interrogated and refuses to answer any questions.  She asks if she’s being charged with anything and, because she’s not, she’s allowed to go.  Is she not an accessory for hiding Mary and then just standing by while Mary attempted to murder a police officer?

Katy decides that the best thing for Mary to do would be to hide out in her old apartment, the one that is next door to the police officer who Mary just tried to strangle.  (Neither Katy nor Mary appear to be that smart.)  Casey, of course, discovers that two of them hiding there.  She and the neighborhood priest (John McLiam) talk Mary into putting down the gun.  They assure her that she did not kill her husband.  Mary finally believes that Casey is telling the truth….

….which is all good and well except Mary ASSUALTED A POLICE OFFICER!  Indeed, one could argue that what Mary did to Casey counts as attempted murder.  So, really, it seems like Mary should be going to jail regardless.  Unfortunately, we never learn about what happened to Mary after she stop pointing the gun as Casey.  If I was Casey, I would prefer a neighbor who hasn’t tried to kill me.

This episode didn’t really make sense but I’m glad that Casey got over her cold by the end of it.

October True Crime: Hostage (dir by Frank Shields)


First released in 1983, Hostage is an Australian film about Christine (Kerry Mack) and Walter Maresch (Ralph Schicha).

Christine is a young woman who escapes from her abusive father by going on the road with a traveling carnival.  She runs the dart-throwing booth.  It’s a simple life but she’s happy with it.  She has friends and she has freedom.  When Walter, an enigmatic German drifter, joins the carnival, there’s an immediate attraction between him and Christine.  Christine sleeps with him a few times but she makes it clear that she’s not looking for anything serious or permanent.  Walter announces that, if Christine doesn’t marry him, he’s going to shoot himself.  Christine rolls her eyes and leaves his trailer, just to hear a gunshot as she walks away.  At the hospital, Walter refuses to get treated until Christine promises to marry him.

Christine does marry Walter, both to keep him from dying and also because she’s pregnant.  Walter survives his gunshot wound and turns out to be the type of husband who alternates between being wildly romantic and being coldly abusive.  Walter wants to have lot of a children.  He’s upset when Christine gives birth to a girl.  “The next one will be a son!” he announces.  Walter also spends a lot of time complaining about how weak the Australians are compared to the Germans.  And, of course, there’s another huge issue with Walter.

HE’S A NAZI!

Walter is a neo-Nazi.  For whatever reason, it takes Christine forever to figure this out.  Walter drags to Christine to Germany and then gets mad when Christine doesn’t stand along with all of his friends while watching The Triumph of the Will.  Christine opens up Walter’s keepsake box and finds a picture of his father wearing a Nazi uniform and also an iron cross.  Walter’s friends are all blonde Aryan types who are constantly talking about how Germany has lost its way.  And yet Christine doesn’t really seem to get that Walter is a Nazi until Walter starts talking about blowing up buildings and robbing banks.

Eventually, back in Australia, Walter and Christine rob a string of banks and the tabloids are soon describing them as being a modern-day Bonnie and Clyde.  Walter is happy but Christine just wants to grab her daughter and escape from him.  That proves to be easier said than done.  Walter’s not just a Neo-Nazi.  He’s also totally insane….

Amazingly enough, this is based on a true story.  Christine wrote about her ordeal and her book was adapted into Hostage, a film that may look like a typical exploitation film but which is actually a rather engrossing drama about a naive girl who finds herself trapped with a monster.  The film is full of moments that stick with you, like when a policeman comes by Christine’s trailer and manages to totally miss her signals that she’s currently being held, at gunpoint, by Walter.  Kerry Mack and Ralph Schicha both give strong performances as Christine and Walter.  Schicha especially deserves a lot of credit for turning Walter into a believable villain as opposed to just a caricature.  One reason why Walter is so dangerous is because he’s such an idiot and Schicha does a great job of showing what happens when stupidity mixes with confidence.  In one of the film’s more over-the-top moments, Walter and his friend Wolfgang drag Christine to Turkey.  At first, Walter and Wolfgang are cocky but the trip becomes a violent and (literally) bloody disaster.

Hostage brings a real nightmare to life.  Sadly, even after she freed herself of Walter, Christine continued to live a difficult life.  She died of hypothermia in 2019.

Horror Song of the Day: Season of the Witch by Donovan


Since we are now halfway through October, it only seems appropriate to share what may be the most famous (and perhaps the most covered) song about witchcraft, Donavon’s Season of the Witch!

This song was originally recorded in 1966 and it’s gone on to become a Halloween mainstay.  One fan of the song was future director Martin Scorsese, who originally planned to borrow the song’s title for one of his own films.  However, George Romero beat Scorsese out the gate with a film called Season of the Witch and Scorsese ended up renaming his film, Mean Streets.

Horror On The Lens: It Conquered The World (dir by Roger Corman)


“Man is a feeling creature, and because of it, the greatest in the universe….”

Hell yeah!  You tell ’em, Peter Graves!

Today’s Horror on the Lens is 1956’s It Conquered The World.  Graves plays a scientist who watches in horror as his small town and all of the people who he loves and works with are taken over by an alien.  Rival scientist Lee Van Cleef thinks that the alien is going to make the world a better place but Graves understands that a world without individual freedom isn’t one that’s worth living in.

This is one of Corman’s most entertaining films, featuring not only Graves and Van Cleef but also the great Beverly Garland.  Like many horror and science fiction films of the 50s, it’s subtext is one of anti-collectivism.  Depending on your politics, you could view the film as either a criticism of communism or McCarthyism.  Watching the film today, with its scenes of the police and the other towns people hunting anyone who fails to conform or follow orders, it’s hard not to see the excesses of the COVID era.

Of course, there’s also a very persuasive argument to be made that maybe we shouldn’t worry too much about subtext and we should just enjoy the film as a 50s B-movie that was directed with the Corman touch.

Regardless of how interpret the film, I defy anyone not to smile at the sight of ultra-serious Peter Graves riding his bicycle from one location to another.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, is It Conquered The World!

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.1 “The Rookies”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, the 2nd season begins!

Episode 2.1 “The Rookies”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on August 25th, 1986)

It’s time for another season of Bulls football and …. hey, where did everyone go?

As soon as the opening credits for the first episode of the second season started, I noticed that there were quite a few people missing.  Delta Burke, Reid Shelton, Prince Hughes, and Cliff Frazier were all listed.  However, not listed were Geoffrey Scott, Sam Scarber, Clayton Landey, Ruta Lee, Marshall R. Teague, Michael V. Gazzo, and Robert Miranda.  That’s the majority of the cast!

Instead of Geoffrey Scott’s veteran quarterback Bob Dorsey, we now have Jason Beghe as rookie quarterback Tom Yinessa.  We now have Stan Kamber as assistant coach Fred Griner.  We now have Marcus Allen as rookie running back Rick Lambert.  And, as the veteran running back T.D. Parker, we have …. O.J. SIMPSON!

Oh yeah, this isn’t going to be awkward.

O.J, only appears for a few minutes in this episode.  As T.D. Parker, he talks to his wife about how much he loves playing football and how he feels that he has one more season left in him as the Bulls’s starting running back.  Uhmm …. I thought Carl Witherspoon was the Bulls’s running back.  All last season, Carl was the Bulls’s running back.  What the Hell is T.D. Parker talking about?  Is he delusional?  Maybe he’s a crazed fan who just thinks that he was the running back last year.  All of that said, T.D. does come across as being a very nice guy and definitely someone who you can trust to slash his way through all of the ego and hype surrounding professional football.

(Probably not coincidentally, the other Bulls assistant coach is played by A.C. Cowlings, who was a friend of O.J.’s.  Remember A.C?)

Anyway, this episode deals with rookie training camp.  While the veterans get a week off, rookies like Tom Yinessa try out for the Bulls.  Yinessa played football in the Army and the only reason he’s being given a tryout is because “Captain Pete” is a friend of Denardo’s.  Denardo is shocked to discover that Yinessa is a good quarterback but he’s already got two veteran quarterbacks and Diana has signed a deal to bring in a third.  Denardo is forced to cut Yinessa.  Yinessa smashes the mirror in Denardo’s office and says that he’s done Denardo a favor because now Denardo won’t have to face what’s he done.  Okay, weirdo….

Yinessa returns to his job at the auto yard and Bulls football continues!  While hotshot rookie Rick Lambert continues to ask for more money before he’ll even show up at training camp, Diana is informed that the players are threating to strike if the League institutes mandatory drug testing.  Diana says a strike will bankrupt the team.  Why are the Bulls always on the verge of going bankrupt?  Diana needs to hire better people to look after the books.

Here’s my prediction for the rest of the season!  Yinessa will be back because he’s in the opening credits.  And, whatever problems may come up, O.J. Simpson will always cut right to the heart of the matter.

As for this particular episode, it got the job done.  It re-introduced us to the team and, even more importantly, it seemed to signal that all of the nonsense from the first season — the Mafia, Diana’s ex-husband and all the rest of it — was over with.  The show is ready to move on so let’s give it more of a chance than Coach Denardo gave Tom Yinessa.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Dunwich Horror (dir by Daniel Haller)


Look at me/I’m Sandra Dee….

First released in the groovy and psychedelic year of 1970, The Dunwich Horror stars Sandra Dee as Nancy, an somewhat innocent grad student at Massachusetts’s Miskatonic University.  When the mysterious Wilbur Wheatley (Dean Stockwell) comes to the university and asks to take a look at a very rare book called The Necronomicon, Nancy agrees.  She does so even though there’s only one edition of The Necronomicon in existence and it’s supposed to be protected at all costs.  Maybe it’s Wilbur’s hypnotic eyes that convince Nancy to allow him to see and manhandle the book.  Prof. Henry Armitage (Ed Begley) is not happy to see Wilbur reading the book and he warns Nancy that the Wheatleys are no good.

Nancy still agrees to give Wilbur a ride back to his hometown of Dunwich.  She finds herself enchanted by the mysterious Wilbur and she’s intrigued as to why so many people in the town seem to hate Wilbur and his father (Sam Jaffe).  Soon, she is staying at Wilbur’s mansion and has apparently forgotten about actually returning to Miskatonic.  She has fallen under Wilbur’s spell and it soon becomes clear that Wilbur has sinister plans of his own.  It’s time to start chanting about the Old Ones and the eldritch powers while naked cultists run along the beach and Nancy writhes on an altar.  We are in Lovecraft county!

Actually, it’s tempting to wonder just how exactly H.P. Lovecraft would have felt about this adaptation of his short story.  On the one hand, it captures the chilly New England atmosphere of Lovecraft’s work and it features references to such Lovecraft mainstays as Miskatonic University, the Necronomicon, and the Old Ones.  As was often the case with Lovecraft’s stories, the main characters are students and academics.  At the same time, this is very much a film of the late 60s/early 70s.  That means that there are random naked hippies, odd camera angles, and frequent use of the zoom lens.  The film makes frequent use of solarization and other psychedelic effects that were all the rage in 1970.  Lovecraft may have been an unconventional thinker but I’m still not sure he would have appreciated seeing his fearsome cult transformed into a bunch of body-painting hippies.

Really, the true pleasure of The Dunwich Horror is watching a very earnest Sandra Dee act opposite a very stoned Dean Stockwell.  Stockwell was a charter member of the Hollywood counterculture, a friend of Dennis Hopper’s who had gone from being a top Hollywood child actor to playing hippie gurus in numerous AIP films.  As for Sandra Dee, one gets the feeling that this film was an attempt to change her square image.  When Wilbur tells Nancy that her nightmares sound like they’re sexual in origin and then explores her feelings about sex, Nancy replies, “I like sex,” and it’s obviously meant to be a moment that will make the audience say, “Hey, she’s one of us!”  But Sandra Dee delivers the line so hesitantly that it actually has the opposite effect.  Stockwell rather smoothely slips into the role of the eccentric Wilbur.  Wilbur is meant to be an outsider and one gets the feeling that’s how Stockwell viewed himself in 1970.  Sandra Dee, meanwhile, seems to be trying really hard to convince the viewer that she’s not the same actress who played Gidget and starred in A Summer Place, even though she clearly is.  It creates an oddly fascinating chemistry between the two of them.  Evil Wilbur actually comes across as being more honest than virtuous Nancy.

Executive produced by Roger Corman, The Dunwich Horror is an undeniably campy film but, if you’re a fan of the early 70s grindhouse and drive-in scene, it’s just silly enough to be entertaining.  Even when the film itself descends into nonsense, Stockwell’s bizarre charisma keeps things watchable and there are a few memorable supporting performances.  (Talia Shire has a small but memorable roll as a nurse.)  It’s a film that stays true to the spirit of Lovecraft, despite all of the hippies.

October Hacks: The Unnamable (dir by Jean-Paul Ouellette)


1988’s The Unnamable takes place in the type of small, superstitious town that H.P. Lovecraft made famous in his stories.  (The Unnamable is loosely based on Lovecraft’s work.)

The students at Miskatonic University are fascinated by the stories that surround the old Winthrop place, a mansion where, 100 years ago, Joshua Winthrop’s wife supposedly gave birth to a hideous monster that proceeded to kill Joshua and all of his servants.  It is said that the mansion is still haunted, perhaps by the ghost of Joshua or maybe by the monster itself!  The students regularly dare each other to stay at the old Winthrop Place.  Joel (Mark Parra) accepts the dare and vanishes, worrying his friends Howard Damon (Charles Klausmeyer) and Randolph Carter (Mark Kinsey Stephenson).  While Howard is a skeptic about the supernatural, Carter is a dedicated student and he’s obsessed with what might be found within the Winthrop house.

Meanwhile, two frat boys (Eben Ham and Blane Wheatley) convince Wendy (Laura Albert) and Tanya (Alexandra Durrell) to come hang out with them for the night in the Winthrop House.  The frat boys claim that it’s an annual initiation that all new students go through.  For the most part, the frat boys just want to get laid.  One of them even drapes a sweater over his shoulders.  Since when has anyone wearing a sweater that way turned out to be a good guy?

Of course, it turns out that Winthrop House is haunted and soon, heads are rolling (literally) and blood is being spilled.  While the frat boys and the girls fight for their lives, Howard and Carter break into the mansion to see if they can find their missing friend Joel.  Of course, Carter is immediately distracted by the mansion’s collection of ancient texts and hidden tunnels.  Howard, on the other hand, just wants to save Wendy’s life and prove that he’s as good as any sweater-draping frat boy.

The Unnamable is fairly low-budget affair, one that mixes the slasher genre with Lovecraft’s chilly horror.  It works surprisingly well.  The house is a wonderfully atmospheric location.  The monster, when it finally makes its appearance, is frightening and very Lovecraftian.  In fact, the monster feels as if could have wandered over from Stuart Gordon’s Castle Freak.  (The Unnamable probably would never have been made if not for the success of Gordon’s Re-Animator.)  The gore is plentiful and, at times, disturbingly convincing.  The main thing that makes The Unnamable work as well as it does is that the cast is surprisingly game and they attack their stereotypical roles with a likable enthusiasm.  Nobody coasts on the fact that the film is just a “horror movie” or just as “slasher flick.”  The characters may not have much depth but the cast still does a good job of bringing them to life (and death).  I especially liked the performance of Mark Kinsey Stephenson as Randolph Carter.  Randolph Carter, of course, is a name that should be familiar to most Lovecraft readers and Stephenson is a delight as he ignore the chaos around him so that he can check out the mansion’s library.  While the film definitely takes some liberties with Lovecraft, Stephenson is still the ideal Carter.

The Unnamable was an enjoyably macabre surprise.