There’s always been something very annoying about the cult surrounding Che Guevara. Because his face looked good on a poster and his execution was probably carried out by the CIA, a lot of people have deified a shallow-minded rich kid whose main accomplishment was executing several of his fellow countrymen and then totally failing in his attempts to overthrow the government of Bolivia.
Thankfully, there’s a song that tells the truth. From Ola Fresca, here is El Chacal.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Earlier tonight, I was thinking I might get to bed early as a way to battle my depression over the election in New York City. Then I suddenly remembered that I still had to review this stupid show.
Episode 3.5 “Excessive Force”
(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on September 7th, 1997)
A bank is robbed in Santa Monica so Chris and Victor ride their little bicycles really fast to the scene of the crime. Victor gets shot in the behind and he spends the rest of the episode with everyone laughing about the fact that it’s excruciatingly painful for him to sit down. (Wow, what a great group of people.) Chris shoots one of the robbers in the neck so he swears revenge on her.
Meanwhile, Palermo’s ex-wife is married to an abusive police detective. She briefly moves back in with Palermo, they end up going at it on the couch, and their daughter gets upset.
As is almost always the case with this show, it’s hard to get involved in the human drama because all of the humans are pretty dull. Chris ends up staying at TC’s apartment for her own safety and there’s a lot of “will-they-or-won’t-they” tension but it doesn’t add up to anything because TC is boring and Chris is equally boring so who cares? Meanwhile, Lt. Palermo just comes across as being the volleyball coach from Hell.
Oddly, this episode had a really impressive guest cast. Dey Young played Palermo’s ex-wife. Cliff de Young played her new husband. John Hawkes — as in future Oscar nominee John Hawkes — played the brother of the guy who wanted to kill Chris. Even Dorian Gregory, from the weird second season of Baywatch Nights, showed up as an FBI agent. The guest stars were the lucky ones. None of them had to pretend to be excited about riding a bicycle.
What a silly show.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. The show is once again on Tubi!
It’s time for a trip to 1984.
Episode 7.17 “Awakening of Love/The Imposter”
(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on March 17th, 1984)
Wendy Collins (Robin Mattson) is a beautiful model who cannot overcome her trust issues. She fears that she might be frigid and she even resists Roarke’s attempts to make her fantasy of finding true love come true by setting her up with photographer (Rod McCrary). Wendy finally reveals the truth to Roarke. She grew up in a troubled home and, as a result, she has a hard time trusting people. She’s only had one lover and the lover was….
“An older man?” Roarke asks.
“A woman,” Wendy reveals.
The camera zooms in on Roarke looking shocked.
Welcome to 1984! Now, today, it’s pretty obvious what would happen. Wendy would fall in love with the photographer’s assistant, Carla (Renee Lippin), and she would realize that there was nothing wrong with that. But this episode aired in 1984, which means that Wendy has to find the courage to tell the photographer that her previous lover was a woman and that the photographer will then have to be willing to say that it doesn’t matter. Basically, Wendy’s fantasy is to be reassured that she’s straight despite having had one same-sex relationship.
Yes, well, hmmm …. hey, what’s going on in the other fantasy?
Arthur Crane (John Davidson) has a compulsive disorder that leads to him assuming other people’s identities. That’s quite a serious problem and Fantasy Island plays it for laughs. Roarke tells Lawrence to follow Arthur around the Island and to keep Arthur from taking on anyone else’s identity. Lawrence is terrible at his job. (Tattoo could have done it!) Arthur pretends to be a movie producer. Arthur pretends to be Mr. Roarke. (Okay, that did make me laugh.) Arthur pretends to be a doctor so Mr. Roarke zaps Arthur into an alternate universe where he is a doctor and he’s going to have to perform surgery on someone who has had a cerebral hemorrhage. Arthur points out that he doesn’t really have any medical skills or training.. Then he looks at the comatose patient and discovers that it’s ….. HIMSELF!
This storyline had potential but it was done in by some seriously bad acting and the fact that the fantasy was comedic so the viewer knows from the start that Arthur is not going to accidentally kill himself on the operating table.
This was a rather dated trip to the Island. The main theme seemed to be that Lawrence was thoroughly incompetent.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, the CHiPs team investigates an accident and a guest star gives a really terrible performance.
Episode 4.20 “Dead Man’s Riddle”
(Dir by Michael Caffey, originally aired on May 10th, 1981)
An accident in the mountains causes three cars to explode and one driver to die. Since the dead driver was a captain with the Los Angeles fire department, the MAIT Team is sent out to recreate the accident and to try to figure out what happened. They know that at least three cars were involved in the accident. One driver died. One driver is in the hospital. And the other driver appears to be missing. Getraer suspects that the accident could be due to people racing each other in the mountains.
What makes this episode odd is the casting of Joanna Kerns as psychiatrist Colleen Jacobs. She’s assigned to the MAIT Team. She actually drives through the mountains frequently and she even gets involved in racing sometimes. In fact, she saw one of the cars right before the accident! At first, she doesn’t bother to share this with anyone. Instead, she just sits in the background with a guilty look on her face. Finally, Jon Baker — in an unmarked car — tricks her into trying to race him. That’s when she finally confesses….
….and faces absolutely no consequences! Oh sure, Getraer gets a little annoyed and says that it would have been helpful if Dr. Jacobs had been honest from the start. But Dr. Jacobs is allowed to continue to work with the MAIT Team. Even though she intentionally withheld evidence from investigators, she’s not charged with obstruction. Ponch tells her that she’s getting a chance to redeem herself which I don’t think is police policy. No one comments on the fact that, even though she was worried that she may have previously caused a fatal accident, she still tried to race Baker. Does no one care that, at the very least, she appears to have no impulse control?
Making things even stranger is that Joanna Kerns gives one of the worst performances that I have ever seen as Dr. Jacobs, delivering half of her lines as if she’s struggling not to laugh. Even when she’s admitting her fear that she may have been responsible for the accident, she still seems like she’s on the verge of breaking out into laughter. It’s very odd.
Speaking of odd, an eccentric old man named Max (Owen Brooks) claims that he saw a UFO before the crash. (Dr. Jacobs laughs when she repeats this.) It turns out that he just saw a hubcap flying through the air.
In the end, it’s proven that the captain was not at fault in the accident. That’s all that anyone really seems to care about. I assume that Dr. Jacbos and Baker then proceeded to race each back to Los Angeles.
Brad listed his top Bronson films so I guess I should list mine! Below are my six favorite Bronson films. (Why 6? Because Lisa doesn’t do odd numbers!)
Now, to make clear, I’m not the Bronson expert that Brad is so I will picking from a smaller pool of selections. But no matter! Let’s do this!
6. Death Wish III (1985, dir by Michael Winner)
Yes, I have to start with Death Wish III. The Death Wish sequels are definitely a mixed bag but Death Wish III was wonderfully over-the-top, a film that cheerfully dropped Bronson in the middle of an absurd circus and allowed him to tame the lions, as it were. I will always love this film for the presence of Plunger Guy, a bad guy who heads into battle carrying a plunger.
5. Breakheart Pass (1975, dir by Tom Gries)
This is an enjoyable mix of a western, a murder mystery, and an adventure film. Charles Bronson is a mysterious man on a snowbound train. Charles Durning, Ben Johnson, Richard Crenna, Jill Ireland, and Ed Lauter co-star and everyone — especially Johnson and Durning — bring a lot to their roles. This may not be one of Bronson’s best-known films but it is one of his most enjoyable and Bronson himself is at his most likable.
4. Death Wish (1973, dir by Michael Winner)
“My heart bleeds a little for the less fortunate,” Bronson’s Paul Kersey says at the start of the film and those of us watching immediately say, “C’mon, Charlie, really?” That said, one reason why Death Wish works as well as it does is because Bronson actually gives a very good and very emotionally honest performance as a man who finally snaps and starts to take the law into his own hands. (I love the barely veiled contempt that’s present whenever Paul talks to his son-in-law.) Not surprisingly, considering that it was directed by Michael Winner, Death Wish is an often-sordid film that doesn’t have a hint of subtlety. But it’s also brutally effective, a film that captures the way a lot of people feel when they hear about reports of out-of-control crime. Even today, it’s easy to see why Death Wish was the film that finally Bronson a star in the United States.
3. Once Upon A Time In The West (1968, dir by Sergio Leone)
Bronson plays Harmonica in the most epic of all of Sergio Leone’s spaghetti westerns. Leone pays homage to the American western while also gleefully subverting it. The quiet and unemotional Bronson is the film’s hero. Henry Fonda is the sadistic villain who guns down a child. Jason Robards is an outlaw. While I don’t consider it to be quite as good as either The Good, The Bad, or the Ugly or Once Upon A Time In America, Once Upon A Time In The West is still one of Leone’s masterpieces.
2. From Noon Till Three (1976, dir by Frank D. Gliroy)
For all of his reputation for being a tough guy who didn’t show much emotion, there was no denying Bronson’s love for his second wife, Jill Ireland. From Noon Till Three brings Bronson and Ireland together in a film that is a third western, a third romantic comedy, and a third social satire. It’s a film that gives Bronson a chance to show off his romantic side and it might leave you surprised! The film also featured Jill Ireland’s best performance in a Bronson film. I always highly recommend this one. It’s proof that there was more to Bronson than just shooting the bad guys.
This is the ultimate 80s Bronson film and one that I like for a reason that might surprise you. On the one hand, you’ve got Bronson as a tough cop, Andrew Stevens as his liberal partner, and Gene Davis as the disturbingly plausible serial killer, Warren Stacy. Bronson is great as the world weary cop. His scenes with Stevens are amusing and, at times, even poignant. (It helps that Stevens was the rare co-star that Bronson liked.) Davis is terrifying and the film’s final moments are very emotionally satisfying. (“No, we won’t.”) But the reason why I love this film is because of the relationship between Bronson’s cop and his daughter, who played by Lisa Eilbacher. Their scenes together — testy but loving — are well-acted by both actors and they always make me think of me and my Dad. Ten To Midnight is the Bronson film that actually makes me cry.
It’s Charles Bronson’s birthday so it only makes sense that today’s music video should be for a performance of the Ennio Morricone-composed theme of one of his best films.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015! The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.
This week, we get a peek into Degrassi’s future.
Episode 1.12 “Wannabe”
(Dir by Laurie Lynd, originally aired on June 10th, 2002)
This week’s episode is a good example of Emma Nelson being the worst person possible.
Paige and Hazel (Andrea Lewis) are planning on relaunching the Degrassi Spirit Squad, with help of Oskar (Fielding Horan), a character who I’m pretty sure was never seen again after this season. Manny, a trained gymnast, wants to join the Spirit Squad and does a cartwheel in the school hallway for her audition. It looks like Manny is finally going find a life outside of being Emma’s supportive friend and….
Uh-oh, Emma looks mad.
Yes, Emma is angry again. She writes an editorial for the school newspaper, calling the Spirit Squad a sexist relic and saying that the only people interested in it are bimbos. For some reason, the newspaper runs the editorial, which leads me to suspect that they have no faculty sponsor.
Paige, Manny, and Hazel responds by grabbing every issue of the paper and ripping out Emma’s editorial. That is some of the funniest and most realistic high school behavior ever. However, the show expects for us to be as upset as Emma. No, I’m sorry. Emma’s editorial was out-of-line and was clearly written by someone who had a personal issue with Paige. (Never mind that Paige was the one who came to Emma’s rescue when Emma got her first period while wearing a white skirt….) A responsible editor wouldn’t have published it. If I said to Arleigh, “Hey, you know that former film blogger in Canada with whom I had that extremely petty argument 15 years ago? I’m going to write a surprise, 1,000-word post calling him a loser just because I’m in a bad mood,” Arleigh would rightfully suggest that I reconsider. Add to that, every editorial that Emma has written has sounded like scoldy crap but, during the first season at least, Emma was such a creator’s pet that we weren’t supposed to notice.
Mr. Simpson confronts Paige and Manny about vandalizing the Degrassi Grapevine. Paige says that she saw Hazel doing it. Manny realizes that Paige cannot be trusted! Paige tells Manny that she’ll be lucky to make the Spirit Squad unless she adjusts her attitude.
Of course, those of us who have seen Degrassi knew the future. Despite Emma’s whining, The Spirit Squad is going to become one of the show’s mainstays. Manny is going to make the squad and become friends with Paige. Meanwhile, Hazel is eventually going to be retconned into a Somalian refugee who ends up dating Jimmy until he gets shot in the back. Meanwhile, Emma will marry Spinner and….
Oh yeah, Spinner! Poor Spinner! In this episode, Spinner gets stuck in one of the lamest Degrassi storylines ever. Toby, JT, and Liberty think that they have a Pringles can that will win them a million dollars in some weird Canadian Pringles sweepstakes. Spinner decides that he wants some of the money as well and J.T. and Toby say sure because they’re like 4’11 and Spinner is like 5’10. But it turns out that JT had the wrong can so no one wins anything. Yes, it’s just that dumb.
Again, it’s good to know the future when watching the Pringles subplot. J.T. will never become rich because he’s going to be brutally murdered during his senior year. Before he dies, J.T. will manage to impregnant Liberty and Liberty will give the child up for adoption. Meanwhile, Toby will end up hosting a Canadian robotics competition. (Yeah, I don’t quite understand it myself….) And Spinner will end up flunking three times before graduating at the age of 21. And even then, he still hung out around the school until he was like 30. Never underestimate how far this show would go to keep a popular character around.
This episode was pretty lame but historically, it was very important. Not only was it the first episode to feature Spirit Squad drama but it was also one of the first episodes to suggest (albeit unintentionally) that Emma was essentially a sociopath who couldn’t stand to see her friends happy. This episode was a harbinger of Degrassi’s future.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
Ring ring. “Homicide.”
Episode 4.13 “I’ve Got A Secret”
(Dir by Gwen Arner, originally aired on February 2nd, 1996)
This week, almost everyone has a secret.
For example, when Pembleton and Bayliss are called in about a man found dead in his car, they discover that, earlier in the day, he went to a local ER after being shot. The gunshot wound, which was accidental, didn’t kill him. Instead, it was the internal bleeding that the doctor either missed or intentionally ignored. Dr. Kate Wystan (Mimi Kennedy) may come across as being a selfless doctor who has dedicated her life to helping the residents of Baltimore’s most crime-ridden neighborhood but Pembleton and eventually Bayliss come to suspect that her secret is that, because the victim was black and a known criminal, she didn’t give him the same standard of care that she gives to her other patients. Pembleton considers this to be murder, though it sounds more like a case of malpractice than anything else.
Munch spots Kay kissing a man outside of police headquarters and he becomes obsessed with trying to figure out who the man is. He’s always believed that Kay is happy being single and alone. (Uhm, hello? Munch? Remember when she dated Ed Danvers?) Kay’s secret is that apparently she has a life outside of Homicide.
Finally, Lewis and Kellerman spend the entre episode chasing a burly man who is wanted for killing both of his parents. At first, this entire storyline feels almost like a parody of NBC’s request that the series start featuring more action. Lewis and Kellerman spend the entire first half of the episode chasing this guy through allies and pool halls and every time, they fail to catch him. There’s none of the badass heroics that we’ve come to expect from cop shows. Eventually, Lewis reveals that his brother is in a mental institution. When Lewis tries to visit his brother, he’s just turned away. Lewis’s secret is that he actually cares about his brother.
This was an okay episode. By this point in the series, Homicide had reached the point where it could do an episode where the true enjoyment came less from the storyline and more from just listening to the characters talk to each other. I really didn’t care much about the crimes that they were investigating. Instead, I just enjoyed listening to Pembleton and Bayliss talk and bounce ideas off of each other. They’ve come along way since the day that Bayliss objected to Pembleton’s interrogation technique and Pembleton shouted that he would never have a partner. By the same token, Kellerman and Lewis have their own unique chemistry that is fun to experience. They’re like the sensitive frat cops. As for Munch and Kay, they should just hook up already. It’s obvious to everyone that they’re in love!
Maybe that’s their secret?
Here’s David Bowie with Changes!
Still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I’d got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Don’t want to be a richer man)
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Just gonna have to be a different man)
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Don’t tell them to grow up and out of it)
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Where’s your shame, you’ve left us up to our necks in it)
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers)
Ch-ch-changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes
(Pretty soon now you’re gonna get older)
Time may change me
But I can’t trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can’t trace time
Songwriters: David Bowie
Let’s continue to try to relax with today’s music video of the day. (I’ve been exhausted since October 15th!)
Enjoy!
Through the Shattered Lens 