Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.1 “Kiss Me, Steph” and 1.2 “The Big Dance”

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

As much as I love Degrassi, I have to admit that I’ve never really sat down and watched the two shows that launched the entire franchise, Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High. I figured why not give it a shot now?

Episode 1.1 “Kiss Me, Steph”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 18th, 1987)

Welcome to Toronto! It’s time for a new school year at Degrassi Junior High!

As I watched the first episode of Degrassi Junior High, the first thing I noticed was just how grainy and depressing everything looked. As opposed to the bright lighting and vibrant colors of Degrassi: The Next Generation, the world of Degrassi Junior High looked overcast and not always inviting. The school itself looked old, as if it had been a while since anyone bothered to paint the walls or even sweep the floors. In short, visually, Degrassi Junior High looked pretty much like a real middle school. The overcast imagery neatly mirrored the way that most people feel when they’re starting the first day of school, especially if it’s a new school.

It’s the first day of school for Arthur Kobalewscuy (Duncan Waugh) and, being short and way too trusting for his own, it doesn’t take long before the school prankster, Joey Jeremiah (Pat Mastroianni), tricks him into getting locked into the janitor’s closet. Poor Arthur but, far more importantly …. JOEY! As any true fan of Degrassi knows, Joey would go on to become one of the most important parts the franchise, both in the original series and a good deal of The Next Generation as well. In the first episode, he’s far a cry from the likable Joey that we all know. Instead, he’s just an obnoxious kid who wears a fedora to school.

Arthur is the younger brother of Stephanie Kaye (Nicole Stoffman), who is the most popular girl in the school. One would think that this would be a good thing for Arthur but Stephanie begins the school day by ordering Arthur not to talk to her because she’s in “grade 8” and he’s only in “grade 7.” Stephanie and Arthur’s parents are divorced, with Stephanie living with her mother and Arthur living with her father. Stephanie is determined to have a new image for Grade 8 and, as soon as she steps into the school, she heads to the bathroom and takes off her boring white blouse and blue skirt to reveal the crop top and tight jeans that she’s wearing underneath. Her best friend, the somewhat dour Voula (Niki Kemey), watches in horror as Stephanie puts on makeup. (I usually waited until I arrived at school to do my makeup as well.)

When Stephanie hears an announcement that student council elections are coming up, she decides to run for President. Voula is happy to serve as Stephanie’s campaign manager until Stephanie starts exchanging kisses for votes. Voula is scandalized that Stephanie isn’t talking about the issues and is running with the slogan, “All The Way With Stephanie Kaye.” Voula warns Stephanie that none of the girls are going to vote for her but Stephanie explains that she only needs the votes of the boys. Of course, the main reason why Voula is upset is because Stephanie is giving all the credit for her successful campaign to Joey instead of her.

(Interestingly enough, one of the first episodes of Degrassi: The Next Generation also featured a student council election and a sister trying to ignore her dorky younger brother.)

While Stephanie is winning over the boys, Arthur finally manages to get a new friend named Yick Yu (Siluck Saysanasy). Yay, everyone needs a friend!

Stephanie wins the election. The announcement is made while Stephanie is in home room where her teacher is none other than Mr. Raditch (Dan Woods), who would later be the first of many principals on Degrassi: The Next Generation. Joey jumps up and hugs Stephanie as the announcement is made. “Mr. Jeremiah!” Mr. Raditch snaps, “Not in my class! Save that behavior for the polls!”

(Fortunately, Mr. Raditch would warm up to Joey by the time that Joey’s stepson was enrolled in the school. But that’s not going to happen for a while….)

Having won the election, Stephanie discovers that she’s actually expected to do a lot of stuff, like give a speech to the PTA. Stephanie begs Voula to write the speech for her but Voula tells Stephanie that she doesn’t want to be her friend anymore. “You’re on your own, Ms. President! You and your new image!”

Oh well. With great power comes great responsibility and all that stuff. Personally, I think Stephanie should just blow off the speech. And really, Voula is being a bit too self-righteous here. I mean, it’s student council. It means nothing! The episode ends with Stephanie swearing that she’s going to be the best president that the school has ever had but it shouldn’t be that difficult since it’s not like the president makes school policy or anything. As Stephanie, once again dressed modestly, leaves the school, she finally acknowledges Arthur as her brother and Arthur offers to write the speech for her.

This was not a bad way to start the franchise and I enjoyed spotting future Degrassi stars like Wheels, Snake, and Spike wandering around the school. This episode did a good job of capturing the silliness of student council elections and also the way every day of high school and middle school can feel like the biggest drama ever. Arthur and Yick are likable in their nerdy way. I related Stephanie. Voula kind of needs to get over herself but we all had a friend like that in school, didn’t we?

Episode 1.2 “The Big Dance”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on January 25th, 1987)

It’s time for the fall dance!

Voula, who is still unreasonably angry with Stephanie, suggests that they use the dance as a way to raise money for the foster child that the school is sponsoring. Everyone thinks this is a great idea and they think Voula should give a speech while handing over the money at the end of the dance. Unfortunately, Voula’s superprotective father (Paul Brock) refuses to allow Voula to stay out past 9:30. He also freaks out when he sees that Voula is wearing lipstick and suddenly, it makes more sense why she’s so jealous of Stephanie.

As for Stephanie, she asks Wheels (Neil Hope) to take her to dance and — OH MY GOD, IT’S WHEELS! Now, as anyone who knows anything about Degrassi can tell you, Wheels eventually became one of the most important characters on the show. As soon as I saw Joey talking to him, I immediately started to think about the fact that this is the same Wheels who is going eventually lose his parents to a drunk driver, get molested while hitchhiking, develop a drinking problem, and end up going to prison shortly after graduating high school. In this episode, though, he’s just a pleasant-natured friend of Joey’s.

Voula lies to her father about spending the night with a study group and instead, heads to the dance. Meanwhile, Stephanie goes to the house of her friend Lucy Fernandez (Anais Granofsky) so she can change into her school dance clothes. (Fans of Degrassi know that Lucy is destined to end up getting temporarily blinded and crippled as a result of Wheels driving drunk.) Along with the two creepy twins, Heather and Erica (Maureen and Angela Deiseach), Stephanie ends up having way too much to drink at Lucy’s.

The end result is that Stephanie shows up drunk at the school dance and ends up embarrassing herself in front of Wheels while Voula is caught breaking curfew by her father. In typical Degrassi fashion, no one gets a happy ending!

I kind of groaned a little when I saw that this was going to be a Voula episode but actually, the episode did a good job of showing why Voula got so angry at Stephanie. As well, in what would be a Degrassi hallmark, the episode handled the theme of underage drinking with sensitivity as opposed to judgmental melodrama. Yes, Stephanie has too much to drink and ruined her date but the episode understood that, rather than being the end of the world, this is just a part of growing up. On Degrassi Junior High, teenagers were allowed to make mistakes.

Finally, during the dance, I spotted Joey dancing with Caitlin (Stacie Mistysyn), who is of course destined to become the great love of Joey’s life. It was a nice case of (probably inadvertent) foreshadowing.

Next week: Yick thinks Mr. Raditch is a racist!

The Unnominated: Play Misty For Me (dir by Clint Eastwood)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked. Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce. Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial. Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released. This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked. These are the Unnominated.

In 1971, Clint Eastwood made his directorial debut with Play Misty For Me.

Eastwood plays Dave Garver, a DJ at a Carmel-By-The-Sea jazz station who has ambitions to some day go national. Every night, a woman named Evelyn (Jessica Walter) calls Dave and asks him to “Play Misty for me.” Eventually, Dave meets Evelyn in a bar and he takes her home with him. After sleeping with her, Dave tells Evelyn that he’s only interested in having a casual relationship. Evelyn, however, reveals that she has a far different interpretation of casual. Soon, Evelyn is dropping by Dave’s house unannounced and acting rather clingy, even appearing to attempt suicide when Dave tries to tell her that he’s not interested in having a serious relationship with her.

At first, it’s hard not to feel bad for Evelyn. Yes, she’s obviously unstable. Yes, she’s clingy. Yes, the scene in which she intentionally ruins Dave’s interview for a national job is difficult to watch. But there’s something so sincere and desperate about her need to have someone in her life that, again, it’s hard not to have sympathy for her. When she claims that Dave took advantage of her when they first met, she’s got a point. Dave obviously felt that Evelyn was a one-night stand that he would never have to see again. Evelyn feels differently.

Things chance when Dave eventually runs into his former girlfriend, Tobie Williams (Donna Mills). Dave and Tobie tentatively restart their relationship. When Evelyn finds out, she goes from being clingy to be homicidal. She goes from trashing Dave’s place to attacking Dave’s housekeeper to attacking Dave and Tobie themselves.

An assured directorial debut, Play Misty For Me shows that Eastwood had a strong directorial sensibility from the start. (It also shows, during an extended sequence in which Dave and Tobie attend a jazz festival, that Eastwood was always capable of being rather self-indulgent.) Eastwood uses the film to deconstruct his own confident persona, with Dave going from being a somewhat callous womanizer to ultimately being terrified for his life. The film is dominated by Jessica Walter’s performance as Evelyn. Walter is sad and terrifying, often in the same scene. Though the film doesn’t dig into what happened in Evelyn’s past to drive her to such extremes, Jessica Walter’s performance leaves no doubt that she’s someone who has been hurt by the world and is now so desperate for love and protection that she’ll strike out at anyone who she feels is denying it to her.

As a horror movie that was directed by an actor who, at the time, was still not a favorite of the critics, it’s perhaps not surprising that the Academy ignored Play Misty For Me. Still, it’s a shame. If nothing else, Jessica Walter’s performance was far more memorable that Janet Suzman’s nominated turn in the painfully dull Nicholas and Alexandra. It’s a brave performance and one that more than deserved to be honored.

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

Lisa Reviews An Oscar Nominee: Spellbound (dir by Alfred Hitchcock)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1945 Best Picture nominee, Spellbound, tells the story of Dr. Constance Petersen (Ingrid Bergman), a psychoanalyst at a mental hospital in my least favorite state, Vermont.

Constance has fallen in love with a man (Gregory Peck) who she believes to be Dr. Anthony Edwardes, the newly appointed director of the hospital. Dr. Edwardes is youngish and handsome and idealistic and authoritative …. well, he’s Gregory Peck. However, he also has an intense phobia about seeing any set of parallel lines. Curious to discover the reason for Edwardes’s phobia, Constance does a little digging on her own and discovers that Dr. Anthony Edwardes is not a doctor at all! Instead, he’s a guilt-stricken amnesiac who is convinced that he murdered Dr. Edwardes and took his place!

Constance, however, doesn’t believe that the Amnesiac is a murderer. She thinks that he is suffering from some sort of deep-rooted guilt that had led him to believe that killed the doctor. She wants a chance to psychoanalyze him and discover the truth about his background. Unfortunately, the police do think that the Amnesiac is a murderer and their determined to arrest him.

Constance and the Amnesiac go on the run, heading to the home of Constance’s mentor, Dr. Alexander Brulov (Michael Chekhov, the nephew of Anton Chekhov). With Brulov’s help, Constance analyzes a dream that the Amensiac had, one involving curtains decorated with eyes, the faceless proprietor of a casino, and a man falling off a mountain. Can Constance and Brulov solve the mystery of the Amnesiac’s identity before the police take him away to prison?

Spellbound was the last of the four Hitchcock best picture nominees and it was also the last film that Hitchcock made for producer David O. Selznick. Selznick was quite a fan of psychoanalysis and he insisted that Hitchcock not only make a movie about it but that he also use Selznick’s own therapist as a technical advisor on the project. Hitchcock, for his part, was able to bring in the surrealist Salvador Dali to help design the Amnesiac’s dream sequence but Selznick felt that the 20-minute sequence was too long and too weird and, as a result, it was cut down to two minutes for the final film. All this considered, it’s not a surprise that, despite the fact that Spellbound was a hit with critics and audiences, Hitchcock himself didn’t care much for it and considered it to be more of a Selznick film than a Hitchcock film. And it is true that the film’s total faith is psychoanalysis feels more like something one would expect to hear from a trendy producer than from a director like Hitchcock, who was known for both his dark wit and his rather cynical attitude towards anyone in authority.

For a film like Spellbound to truly work, there has to be some doubt about who the Amnesiac is. For the suspense to work, the audience has to feel that there’s at least a chance, even if it’s only a slight one, that the Amnesiac actually could be a murderer, despite the attempts of Constance and Brulov to prove that he’s not. And Spellbound is full of scenes that are meant to leave the audience wondering about whether or not the Amnesiac should be trusted. However, because the Amnesiac is played by Gregory Peck, there’s really no doubt that he’s innocent. Hitchcock was not particularly happy with Gregory Peck as his leading man. Peck projected a solid, middle-American integrity. It made him ideal for heroic and crusading roles but made him totally wrong for any role that required ambiguity. It’s difficult to believe that the Amnesiac is suffering from a guilt complex because it’s difficult to believe that Gregory Peck has ever done anything for which he should feel guilty. Cary Grant could have played the Amnesiac. Post-war Jimmy Stewart could have done an excellent job with the role. But Peck is just too upstanding and stolid for the role. In a role that calls from neurosis, Peck is kind of boring.

That said, the rest of the cast is fine, with Ingrid Bergman giving one of her best performance as Constance and Michael Chekhov bringing some needed nuance to a role that could have turned into a cliché. Leo G. Carroll has a small but pivotal role and he does a good job keeping the audience guessing as to his motivation. Even at a truncated two minutes, the Dali dream sequence is memorably bizarre and the famous shot of a gun pointed straight at the camera still carries a kick. This is a lesser Hitchcock film but, that said, it’s still a Hitchcock film and therefore worth viewing.

As I mentioned previously, this was the last of Hitchcock’s films to be nominated for Best Picture. Ironically, his best films — Rear Window, Vertigo, and Psycho among them — were yet to come. Spellbound was nominated for six Oscars but only won for Miklos Rozsa’s score. (Ingrid Bergman was nominated for Best Actress that year, not for her role in Spellbound but instead for The Bells of St. Mary’s.) The big Oscar winner that year was Billy Wilder’s The Lost Weekend.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 4.1 “Perfect Order” (dir by Daniel Vigne)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

During the month of October, we like to share classic episodes of horror-themed television. That was easier to do when we first started doing our annual October Horrorthon here at the Shattered Lens because every single episode of the original, black-and-white Twilight Zone was available on YouTube. Sadly, that’s no longer the case.

However, there is some good news! Twilight Zone may be gone but there are other horror shows on YouTube! For instance, I’ve discovered that there are several episodes of The Hitchhiker on YouTube! The Hitchhiker was an American/French/Canadian co-production that aired on HBO from 1983 to 1987 and on the USA Network from 1989 to 1991. It was an anthology show, one in which each story was introduced by a mysterious hitchhiker (played by Page Fletcher).

Let’s get things started with Perfect Order, an episode featuring Virginia Madsen as a model who works with a famous but eccentric photographer named Simon (Steve Inwood). It turn out that Simon’s eccentricity includes an obsession with death. Along with featuring good performances from Madsen and the underrated Inwood, this episode both satirizes the world of New York fashion and it features a climax that is full of laser beams. What more could one want for the beginning of October?

This episode originally aired on February 17th, 1987.

October Hacks: The Prey (dir by Edwin Brown)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1983 slasher film, The Prey, opens with a wildfire raging through the Rocky Mountains, destroying a community of people who lived in a cave. 32 years later, the only survivor of the fire (played by Carel Struycken, who would later be memorably cast on Twin Peaks as the “It is happening again” giant), wanders through the forest. When he spots a middle-aged couple camping and tending to a campfire, the survivor snaps and kills them both.

The next morning, a van drives through the national park. Inside the van are three young couples, Nancy (Debbie Thureson) and Joel (Steve Bond), Bobbie (Lori Lethin) and Skip (Robert Wald), and Gail (Gayle Gannes) and Greg (Philip Wenckus). They are looking forward to a nice weekend of camping, sex, and mountain climbing. The girls are especially happy when they meet the handsome local parker ranger, Mark O’Brien (Jackson Bostwick). The couples head into wilderness, little realizing that they are being followed and watched by the murderous survivor.

Watching The Prey, I was reminded of why I don’t go camping. I mean, I like looking at nature. I like handsome park rangers. There’s a sweet scene where Mark tells an extremely corny joke to a baby deer and it made me go, “Awwwwww!” But seriously, I would never want to spend my night sitting around a campfire or sleeping on the ground. Not only is the wilderness full of bugs but there’s always the danger of getting trapped in a sudden storm or some other natural disaster. And I have to admit that I’m just not a fan of the way that people act while camping. My fear is that, if I ever did go camping, I would end up with people shouting, “Go! Go! Go!’ at me. If my camping companions insist on going mountain climbing, am I obligated to accompany them? If one of them falls off the side of the mountain, that’s really going to ruin my weekend.

As for The Prey as a film, the plot is standard slasher stuff. Attractive young people end up stranded out in the middle of nowhere and they are picked off, one at a time, by a monster who seems to take issue with anyone trying to have any fun. That said, The Prey has enough strange moments to make it memorable. With an 80-minute running time, The Prey is an oddly paced film. (And yes, oddly paced does often translate to boring.) The majority of the film is just made up with footage of the three couples walking through the forest and having conversations that were reportedly improvised by the cast. (Gayle laughs as she talks about a time that she nearly drowned.) The film is full of skewed camera angles that give the entire proceedings an off-balance feel and occasionally the action cuts away from the main characters to Mark playing a banjo or another park ranger (played by former Charlie Chaplin co-star Jackie Coogan) having a tense conversation with a policeman who calls to ask about the missing middle-aged couple. The survivor doesn’t really go after the main couples until the film’s final 15 minutes and the pace suddenly quickens as if to mirror the relentless violence of the film’s killer. The strange pacing and the weird details gives The Prey a dream-like feel and the ending, in which the survivor reveals that he has interests outside of killing, is fascinating in just how unexpectedly bizarre it is.

The Prey was undoubtedly made to take advantage of the popularity of other wilderness slasher films but it’s just weird enough to establish an identity of its own.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Blackenstein (dir by William A. Levey)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1973’s Blackenstein tells the story of Eddie Turner (Joe De Sue), a black man who served in Vietnam. Unfortunately, while serving his country, Eddie stepped on a landmine and lost his arms and his legs. Now back in Los Angeles, Eddie spends his days laying in a bed in a VA hospital, where he’s taunted by an orderly who, it turns out, is actually just upset because he wanted to join the army but he failed his physical. Because this film was made on the cheap, Eddie’s limbless state is represented by continually having the covers of his bed drawn up to his neck.

Eddie’s girlfriend, Dr. Winifred Walker (Ivory Stone), is upset because Eddie is having a hard time adjusting to life in the States and, having lost the lower half of his body, Eddie has been rendered impotent. She gets a job working with Dr. Stein (John Hart), a doctor who has down amazing things with DNA and RNA. He lives in a castle-like mansion and he has a laboratory that is full of lasers and beakers that are labeled “DNA.” Apparently, Dr. Stein can inject people with DNA …. don’t look at me like that, I didn’t write this movie …. and not only reverse the aging process but also help people regrow limbs.

Eddie is brought to the mansion to be Dr. Stein’s latest patient. Unfortunately, Dr. Stein’s assistant, Malcomb (Roosevelt Jackson), has fallen in love with Winifred and is stung when she tells him that her heart belongs to Eddie. Malcomb sabotages Eddie’s DNA injections so that Eddie, along with growing back his arms and his legs, also transforms into a turtleneck-wearing monster with a flattop. Eddie spends his days in a coma and his nights stalking Los Angeles.

Blackenstein was released at the height of the blaxploitation boom, when filmmakers were reinterpreting classic genres with black actors. Some of these films, like Shaft and Superfly, hold up very well and remain a part of the pop cultural landscape. And others, like Blackenstein, would be largely forgotten if not for the strangeness of their title. Blackenstein was clearly inspired by the success of Blacula, though it comes nowhere close to being as compelling as that film.

Blackenstein has more than a few problems. The pacing is abysmal. The plot requires a lot of smart people to do a lot of dumb things. As opposed to other films based on Mary Shelley’s novel, the Monster is neither scary nor sympathetic. Eddie Turner was played by a non-actor named Joe de Sue, who was hired because he was a client of the Frank Salteri, the criminal lawyer-turned-filmmaker who produced the film. Joe de Sue rarely speaks and when he does, he turns his face away from the camera and it is fairly obvious that his dialogue was dubbed in after the scene was shot. Ivory Stone and Roosevelt Jackson awkwardly deliver their lines about DNA and RNA in a tone that suggests that neither they nor the filmmakers were exactly sure what either one of those were. John Hart is perhaps the most mild mad scientist in the history of horror cinema.

One could argue that there’s an interesting subtext to this film, with its scenes of a white scientist conducting a dangerous medical experiment on a black man who is not in a position to refuse. But let’s not fool ourselves. This film is not Blacula, with its title character being transformed into a vampire as punishment for standing up to Dracula’s racism. Blackenstein had very little on its mind, beyond cashing in on the then-blaxploitation boom. The title promises a certain over-the-top silliness but, ultimately, this film is way too boring for something called Blackenstein.

The Eric Roberts Horror Collection: Deadly Nightshade (dir by Benjamin Rider)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2021’s Deadly Nightshade is not an easy film to describe.

An analog voice asks us to return to a time in the recent past, when people watched movies on VHS tapes and the television was the world’s main source of escape. In Brixton, Victoria (Suzie Houlihan) goes to her flat, excited to spend the weekend in Brighton with her boyfriend, Marcus (Matthew Laird). She finds a mysterious man named Adam (Christopher Blackburn) in the flat. Adam says that he’s a friend of Marcus’s and he’s going to be staying in the flat for the weekend. Adam wants Victoria to listen to a tape recording of what he claims is an exorcism. Victoria is not comfortable with him.

Marcus finally shows up, covered in blood that is not his. Marcus says that he witnessed an accident on the way home and he stopped to rescue one of the women involved. Suddenly, that woman shows up. Her name is Mia (Lottie Johnson) and it appears that she’s planning on staying in the apartment as well.

The analog voice invites us to watch a documentary about the real events that inspired Deadly Nightshade but an appearance by Eric Roberts as occult expert Father Walsh clues us in that the documentary is just as fictional as the film that we’re watching.

Strange things continue to happen at the flat. Victoria’s mother mysteriously appears at one point. Adam has visions of a woman lying in bed and telling him that he’s too obsessed with television. Victoria falls asleep and when she wakes up, Mia is claiming that Marcus is her boyfriend and that Adam is Victoria’s boyfriend and no one really seems to know why Victoria is even at the flat. For all the talk of spending the weekend in Brighton, no one seems like they’re in a particular hurry to leave the flat….

It’s an odd film and I would suggest not trying too hard to follow the plot. It’s a film that plays out like a filmed nightmare, working on its own bizarre strain of logic. Just as in a dream, personalities change randomly and the lay-out of the flat seems to alter from scene to scene. Plot points, like Adam’s exorcism tape, are brought up and then abandoned just to mysteriously be brought up again. It’s not a movie that makes much sense but, if you relax and just go with it, it definitely leaves an impression.

As for Eric Roberts, he’s not in much of the film. It’s pretty obvious that he filmed his scenes in an hour or two, probably at his own home. It wouldn’t surprise me if he provided his own clerical collar. That said, if you’re going to have a mysterious man talking about the supernatural in your low-budget film, I would say that Eric Roberts is who you would want to go with.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Retro Television Reviews: Dragnet 1966 (dir by Jack Webb)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1969’s Dragnet 1966! It can be viewed on YouTube!

“This is the city….”

So begins Dragnet, a television movie version of the classic cop show that was the Law & Order of it’s day. Dragnet began as a radio program in 1949 before making it’s way over to television in 1951. Each episode starred (and the majority were directed by) Jack Webb, who played a no-nonsense cop named Joe Friday. Friday narrated every episode, dropping trivia about the history of Los Angeles while also showing viewers how the cops went about catching criminals. Despite what is commonly believed, Joe Friday never said, “Just the facts, ma’m,” but he did investigate each case with the cool determination of a professional who kept his emotions under control. The majority of Dragnet’s episodes were based on actual cases that were worked by the LAPD, hence the opening declaration of, “The story you are about to see is true.”

On television, Dragnet originally ran from 1951 to 1959, during which time Dragnet also became the first television series to be adapted into a feature film. Jack Webb decided to relaunch Dragnet in 1966 and he produced a made-for-television movie that followed Friday and his latest partner, the far more talkative Bill Gannon (Harry Morgan), as they worked multiple cases over the course of one long weekend. The pilot movie did lead to a new show, one that lasted from 1967 to 1970 and which is today fondly remembered for scenes of Friday and Gannon debating the merits of the legal system with hippies. However, for whatever reason, the 1966 pilot movie was not actually aired until 1969.

The made-for-TV movie features Friday and Gannon searching not for LSD dealers and draft dodgers but instead for a crazed photographer (Vic Perrin) who hires women to pose for him and then ties them up and takes their picture right before her murders them. The photographer is based on real-life serial killer Harvey Glatman and Perrin is perfectly creepy in the role. Though Friday never loses his composure, his disgust at the photographer and his crimes is palpable and it adds an extra charge to the scene where, in the middle of a drenching rain storm, Friday tries to sneak up on the trailer where he believes the photographer is holding his latest victim. It’s actually a pretty exciting scene and definitely one that will take by surprise anyone who thinks of the 60s Dragnet as just being a campy exercise in establishment resentment.

Of course, catching a serial killer is not all that Friday and Gannon deal with. It’s a long weekend so Friday and Gannon end up investigating the murder of a French tourist and Friday helps a younger, black detective deal with a racist criminal. (The scene where Friday stands up to the racist was obviously meant to answer those who claimed the LAPD was a racist organization.) At the start of the film, Joe almost gets collared into working security for a visiting Russian diplomat and the Russian’s paranoid security team is contrasted to the level-headed and capable men of the LAPD. Some of these scenes are better than others. The French tourist subplot features some truly risible acting and the scene with the racist is well-intentioned but still feels a bit condescending in its portrayal of the black detective needing Friday to help him deal with the suspect. That said, I did enjoy listening to Bill Gannon talking about his plans for retirement and how working for the LAPD was destroying his teeth. Harry Morgan’s folksy humor was always the perfect counterpart to Jack Webb’s perpetually rational Friday.

Finally, I appreciated that the movie featured a scene with Friday and Gannon went undercover at a lonely hearts club. If you’ve watched the 1960s version of Dragnet, you know that, for all the times that Friday and Gannon went undercover, they never really put much effort into it. I mean, they didn’t ever bother to take off their jackets!

Though I was disappointed by the lack of hippies, Dragnet 1966 was still not only a good police procedural but also a fun time capsule of its era.

Horror Book Review: Into the Dark by R.L. Stine

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

First published in 1997, Into the Dark tells the story of Paulette Fox. Paulette has been blind since birth but she hasn’t let that stand in her away. She’s one of the most popular students at Shadyside High. She has two best friends, Jonathan and Cindy, who are devoted to her. She enjoys eating the pizza at Pete’s Pizza, watching silly slasher films with her friends, and taking piano lessons at the Music Academy. And, assuming that she can get her overprotective parents to sign off on it, she’s looking forward to taking self-defense classes.

Best of all, she’s got a boyfriend! Brad has just moved to Shadyside. Like Paulette, Brad loves music and wants to make it his life. Unfortunately, Brad does not come from a rich family so he has to work as a janitor at the Music Academy. Brad seems to be sweet and considerate and he treats Paulette like an adult. Paulette touches his face and discovers that not only is he very handsome but he also a scar on his eyebrow. Scars are sexy!

However, no sooner has Paulette started hanging out with Brad than strange things start to happen to her. Twice, she is nearly run over by a car despite the fact that Paulette is always careful while crossing the street. (The second time, Paulette is convinced that someone pushed her, even though everyone tells her that they didn’t see it happen.) She starts to get weird phone calls. According to Cindy, someone has broken into Paulette’s bedroom and painted all sorts of threatening messages on the wall. Even worse, Brad starts to act strange. Sometimes, he’s the considerate and nice Brad that she wants to date. Other times, he acts possessive and creepy. Her friends tell her that she needs to stay away from Brad, especially after he’s accused of robbing Pete’s Pizza! But Paulette remains convinced that only she can figure out what is truly happening with Brad….

This is an R.L Stine novel so there’s really no way that you won’t guess what the big twist is. In fact, if I remember correctly, it’s a twist that Stine has used in quite a few of his other books. Because I’m a nice reviewer, I will not spoil what the twist is but …. I mean, seriously, you figured it out while reading the previous paragraph, right?

Obviously, Into The Dark won’t win any points for originality but still, as far as the Fear Street books are concerned, Into the Dark is an entertaining and quick read and Paulette is a likable and relatable heroine. Indeed, Stine actually appears to have done some research for this book and the passages where he describes how Paulette navigates every-day life without being able to see ring true. Paulette may be blind but she’s also a typical teenager. It’s easy to roll your eyes when she repeatedly refuses to call the police despite the number of weird things that happen to her but seriously, what teenager wants to call the police for anything? When I was 17, I was woken up by what I thought was the sound of someone breaking into my house and, even though I had a phone and could have easily called the police, I instead grabbed a golf club and walked around the house in my t-shirt and underwear, searching for the thieves. When you’re 17, you think you’re immortal and, even more importantly, you don’t want to have to deal with any authority figures.

(Incidentally, there were no thieves and it was all just my imagination. Yay!)

Finally, who couldn’t relate to Paulette’s confusion about Brad? Sometimes, Brad is extremely nice and caring. Sometimes, Brad is cold and kind of a jerk. That sounds like every guy I knew when I was in high school. Like the best of Stine’s book, Into the Dark works because the reader can relate to it, even if they’ve never lived on Fear Street or been threatened by …. well, I won’t spoil it. But you already figured it out, right?

October True Crime: The Honeymoon Killers (dir by Leonard Kastle)

Posted on October 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1970 film, The Honeymoon Killers, takes place in the late 40s. Martha Beck (Shirley Stoler) is an overweight nurse who lives in Alabama with her senile mother (Dortha Duckworth) and her best friend, Bunny (Doris Roberts). Knowing that Martha is lonely, Bunny signs Martha up for a “lonely hearts club,” which was basically the Tinder and Craig’s List of the pre-Internet age. Though Martha is initially reluctant, she soon starts to receive letters from a conman named Ray Fernandez (Tony Lo Bianco). Ray specializes in swindling the women who respond to his letters. After Ray travels to Alabama and tricks Martha into giving him a “loan,” Ray sends her a letter telling him that he can no longer correspond with her. Martha responds by getting Bunny to call Ray and tell him that she attempted suicide.

Recognizing Martha as a fellow con artist, Ray invites Martha to his home in New York. He shows her the pictures that he’s received from other women and reveals how he makes his money. Martha soon becomes Ray’s partner in crime, traveling across the country with Ray and meeting the women, most of whom are elderly, that Ray has corresponded with. Ray claims that his name is Charles Martin and that Martha is his sister. He also swears to Martha that he won’t sleep with any of the women while he’s swindling them. Even though Martha knows that Ray is a pathological liar, she chooses to believe him whenever he swears that he’s actually in love with her.

The first murder occurs when Martha realizes that one of Ray’s victims is determined to sleep with him. Martha gives her an overdose of sleeping pills and then Martha and Ray dump her on a bus, where she subsequently dies. More murders occur, usually due Martha and Ray making sloppy mistakes that reveal their actual plans to their victims. At first, Ray claims that he’s disgusted with killing and he says that Martha is the one who has to do it because she’s a nurse. But eventually, Ray shows his true colors.

When talking about The Honeymoon Killers, one has to start by mentioning that this film was nearly Martin Scorsese’s second feature film. (Fresh out of film school, Scorsese had previously turned a student film, Who’s That Knocking At My Door?, into his feature debut.) Scorsese was fired from the film because the film’s producers felt that he was taking too long to set up the shots and, according to Scorsese himself, he was only shooting master shots. That said, there are a few Scorsese-directed scenes to be found in The Honeymoon Killers and they’re pretty easy to spot. The film opens with a tracking shot of Shirley Stoler walking through her hospital and reprimanding two interns. I was not surprised to learn that was one of the Scorsese scenes. After Scorsese left the project, he was replaced by Leonard Kastle, who wrote the script. The Honeymoon Killers was both Kastle’s directorial debut and his swan song.

The film’s harsh and grainy black-and-white cinematography gives the film a documentary-style feel and while there are moments of dark humor, The Honeymoon Killers is overall a grim movie. It plays out like a creeping nightmare, one where the viewer knows that there’s something terrible waiting right around the corner. The bickering between Martha and Ray may occasionally inspire a chuckle, but there’s nothing funny about the murders and the film, to its credit, it totally on the side of Martha and Ray’s victims. Martha and Ray may look down upon them but the film itself portrays them as being lonely people who are struggling to adjust to a changing world. (In the role of the couple’s second victim, Mary Jane Highby is just heartbreaking.) Ray is a bit of ludicrous figure, with his swagger and his exagerated accent but he’s been able to get away with his crimes because people want him to be the charming gentleman that he claim to be. Even after Martha discovers who he really is, she still finds herself under the spell of Ray’s con.

Shirley Stoler and Tony Lo Bianco both give excellent performances as Martha and Ray, with Stoler especially doing a good job in the role of Martha. At first, it’s easy to feel sorry for Martha. At the start of the movie, she’s just as lonely as any of Ray’s victims. At the film progresses, Martha’s true self is revealed and yet, as soulless as she can be, her love for Ray is strangely sincere. As Ray, Tony Lo Bianco is all swagger and charm until he loses control of the situation and he reveals just how spineless he actually is.

The film presents Martha Beck and Ray Fernandez as a couple who became murderers after they found each other. In reality, it’s suspected that Ray Fernandez murdered at least one woman before he met Martha and it’s also been suggested that Martha killed a few patients while she was working as a nurse. Ray and Martha were both executed on the same day, going to electric chair on March 8th, 1951.