October True Crime: The Honeymoon Killers (dir by Leonard Kastle)


The 1970 film, The Honeymoon Killers, takes place in the late 40s.  Martha Beck (Shirley Stoler) is an overweight nurse who lives in Alabama with her senile mother (Dortha Duckworth) and her best friend, Bunny (Doris Roberts).  Knowing that Martha is lonely, Bunny signs Martha up for a “lonely hearts club,” which was basically the Tinder and Craig’s List of the pre-Internet age.  Though Martha is initially reluctant, she soon starts to receive letters from a conman named Ray Fernandez (Tony Lo Bianco).  Ray specializes in swindling the women who respond to his letters.  After Ray travels to Alabama and tricks Martha into giving him a “loan,” Ray sends her a letter telling him that he can no longer correspond with her.  Martha responds by getting Bunny to call Ray and tell him that she attempted suicide.

Recognizing Martha as a fellow con artist, Ray invites Martha to his home in New York.  He shows her the pictures that he’s received from other women and reveals how he makes his money.  Martha soon becomes Ray’s partner in crime, traveling across the country with Ray and meeting the women, most of whom are elderly, that Ray has corresponded with.  Ray claims that his name is Charles Martin and that Martha is his sister.  He also swears to Martha that he won’t sleep with any of the women while he’s swindling them.  Even though Martha knows that Ray is a pathological liar, she chooses to believe him whenever he swears that he’s actually in love with her.

The first murder occurs when Martha realizes that one of Ray’s victims is determined to sleep with him.  Martha gives her an overdose of sleeping pills and then Martha and Ray dump her on a bus, where she subsequently dies.  More murders occur, usually due Martha and Ray making sloppy mistakes that reveal their actual plans to their victims.  At first, Ray claims that he’s disgusted with killing and he says that Martha is the one who has to do it because she’s a nurse.  But eventually, Ray shows his true colors.

When talking about The Honeymoon Killers, one has to start by mentioning that this film was nearly Martin Scorsese’s second feature film.  (Fresh out of film school, Scorsese had previously turned a student film, Who’s That Knocking At My Door?, into his feature debut.)  Scorsese was fired from the film because the film’s producers felt that he was taking too long to set up the shots and, according to Scorsese himself, he was only shooting master shots.  That said, there are a few Scorsese-directed scenes to be found in The Honeymoon Killers and they’re pretty easy to spot.  The film opens with a tracking shot of Shirley Stoler walking through her hospital and reprimanding two interns.  I was not surprised to learn that was one of the Scorsese scenes.  After Scorsese left the project, he was replaced by Leonard Kastle, who wrote the script.  The Honeymoon Killers was both Kastle’s directorial debut and his swan song.

The film’s harsh and grainy black-and-white cinematography gives the film a documentary-style feel and while there are moments of dark humor, The Honeymoon Killers is overall a grim movie.  It plays out like a creeping nightmare, one where the viewer knows that there’s something terrible waiting right around the corner.  The bickering between Martha and Ray may occasionally inspire a chuckle, but there’s nothing funny about the murders and the film, to its credit, it totally on the side of Martha and Ray’s victims.  Martha and Ray may look down upon them but the film itself portrays them as being lonely people who are struggling to adjust to a changing world. (In the role of the couple’s second victim, Mary Jane Highby is just heartbreaking.) Ray is a bit of ludicrous figure, with his swagger and his exagerated accent but he’s been able to get away with his crimes because people want him to be the charming gentleman that he claim to be.  Even after Martha discovers who he really is, she still finds herself under the spell of Ray’s con.

Shirley Stoler and Tony Lo Bianco both give excellent performances as Martha and Ray, with Stoler especially doing a good job in the role of Martha.  At first, it’s easy to feel sorry for Martha.  At the start of the movie, she’s just as lonely as any of Ray’s victims.  At the film progresses, Martha’s true self is revealed and yet, as soulless as she can be, her love for Ray is strangely sincere.  As Ray, Tony Lo Bianco is all swagger and charm until he loses control of the situation and he reveals just how spineless he actually is.

The film presents Martha Beck and Ray Fernandez as a couple who became murderers after they found each other.  In reality, it’s suspected that Ray Fernandez murdered at least one woman before he met Martha and it’s also been suggested that Martha killed a few patients while she was working as a nurse.  Ray and Martha were both executed on the same day, going to electric chair on March 8th, 1951.

Retro Television Reviews: Half Nelson Episode 1.4 “Uppers and Downers”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Half Nelson, which ran on NBC from March to May of 1985. Almost all nine of the show’s episodes can be found on YouTube!

The adventures of Rocky Nelson continue!

Episode 1.4 “Uppers and Downers”

(Dir by James Sheldon, originally aired on April 5th, 1985)

When a burglar alarm goes off in Beverly Hills, it’s Rocky Nelson (Joe Pesci) of Beverly Hills Patrol to the rescue!  Reaching the mansion of a local businessman (played by Cliff Gorman), Rocky discovers that the alarm was set off by a racoon.

(“A racoon is Beverly Hills!?” Gorman’s wife says, in a tone that suggests that racoons are unknown creatures in California.)

Rocky also happens to spot the next door neighbor (Nancy Stafford) leading her personal trainer into her house, whispering that she’s going to show him her bedroom.  At first, Rocky is amused but, later that day, Rocky hears that the personal trainer has been found, floating in Stafford’s swimming pool.  Stafford claims that the trainer had a heart attack while swimming but, upon arriving at the scene, Rocky immediately figures out that the trainer died in the house and was then dragged out to the pool.  Stafford swears that she didn’t kill him and Rocky believes her.  However, when the autopsy report reveals that the trainer was dead before he was put in the pool, Stafford is arrested and charged with murdering him by hitting him over the head.

Despite being told by his boss (Fred Williamson) to stay away from the case, Rocky feels that he has to prove Stafford’s innocence.  Rocky’s first plan is to have his associates, Kurt (Bubba Smith) and Beau (Dick Butkus), disguise themselves as mortuary attendants and steal the trainer’s body from the crematorium.  Rocky then takes the body to a coroner who does a second autopsy and discovers that not only did the trainer have a heart attack but that he was also poisoned!  Someone slipped the trainer a pill that was specifically designed to cause a heart attack.  Now, it’s up to Rocky to discover who that person was and clear Stafford’s name before Stafford’s husband (Brett Halsey, a veteran of Italian horror and spaghetti westerns) files for divorce.

Rocky deduces that the trainer was probably targeted by a jealous husband.  Rocky decides to disguise himself as a physical trainer so that he can get close to all of the dead man’s former clients.  How does Rocky prepare for this role?  He does calisthenics with his landlord, Dean Martin.  When Rocky mentions that he needs someone to determine whether or not his clients are lying to him, Dean Martin suggests that he steal a lie detector from the set of “Burt’s new film.”  (I’m guessing that Burt was a reference to Burt Reynolds, Dean’s co-star in two Cannonball Run films.)  Rocky promptly goes down to the studio backlot and steals a bunch of Burt Reynolds’s property.

(The backlot was a prominent and amusing part of the show’s pilot but it was ignored during last week’s episode.  I was glad to see it back for this episode because Dean Martin instructing Joe Pesci to steal Burt Reynolds’s lie detector will never not be amusing.)

Rocky meets with all of the dead trainer’s clients and tricks them into hooking themselves up to the lie detector by telling them that it’s a instrument that will check their heart rate.  Rocky discovers that any number of people could have wanted the trainer dead.  However, those of us in the audience already knows that Cliff Gorman is the murderer because we witnessed Gorman gloating about it earlier in the episode.  Rocky eventually figures it out as well and tricks Gorman into confessing by pretending to take one of the heart attack pills while driving Gorman around Beverly Hills.

Thanks to the visit to the studio lot and Dean Martin’s eccentric performance, this episode was an improvement on last week’s.  That said, it still suffered from the fact that the murder itself wasn’t that interesting (with Gorman’s ruthless businessman not getting much characterization beyond being evil).  Despite being second and third-billed in the opening credits, neither Victoria Jackson nor Fred Williamson got to do much in this episode and considering that both of those performers had their own unique and eccentric style, it feels like a bit of waste to just have them sitting in the office and uttering just a handful of lines per episode.  The main appeal of the show continues to be Joe Pesci, who brings a lot of streetwise charm to Rocky.  In the episodes that I’ve watched so far, Pesci is likable and engaging as Rocky and I think his performance would surprise a lot of people who are used to Pesci playing killers with hair-trigger tempers.  Rocky is smart and tough but ultimately rather friendly.  In his performance in Half Nelson, one can see hints of his later performance in The Irishman,  I just wish the rest of this show was as consistently good.

Next week: Joe Pesci faces off against John Saxon!  That sounds promising!  We’ll see how it goes.

Horror Film Review: Exorcist II: The Heretic (dir by John Boorman)


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The Exorcist is one of the greatest horror films of all time and a personal favorite of mine.  But what about Exorcist II: The Heretic?  Well, it would be a bit of an understatement to say that The Heretic has not quite received the amount of critical acclaim as the first film.  Since it was first released in 1977, The Heretic has been widely considered to be one of the worst sequels of all time.  It’s a film that is often cited as evidence as to why not all successful films need a follow-up.

Myself, I have sat through The Heretic twice.  And yes, it is a pretty bad film but I have to admit that I enjoyed it each time that I saw it.  It’s not a scary film at all.  It’s not a successful horror film.  But, as an unintentional comedy, it’s hilarious.

The Heretic opens four years after the end of The Exorcist.  Father Merrin (Max von Sydow) is dead, having had a heart attack during the first film while performing an exorcism on Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair).  In the years since, some in the Vatican have cast doubt on whether or not Merrin actually performed exorcisms.  It turns out that, contrary to everything that we saw in the first film, Father Merrin was actually something of a rebel.  His teachings are controversial.  For instance, he was convinced that everyone has latent psychic powers and that the demon Pazuzu possesses those who have the potential to be the strongest psychics.  Why?  Because those people have the ability to lead humanity into a shared global consciousness and…

Well, it gets a little bit complicated.  That’s one of the big differences between The Exorcist and Heretic.  The Exorcist kept things relatively simple.  The Heretic drags in a lot of metaphysical argle bargle.

The deceased Father Merrin has been brought up on charges of heresy.  The Cardinal (Paul Henreid, many, many years after Casablanca), assigns Father Lamont (Richard Burton) to investigate the circumstances surrounding Father Merrin’s final exorcism.

The presence of Richard Burton is what elevates Heretic from merely being bad to being so bad that it’s good.  As written, Father Lamont is supposed to be something of a naive idealist, someone who never met Father Merrin but who has been intrigued by his writings.  Reportedly, several youthful actors turned down the role and eventually, production decided to make Lamont an older man and they ended up casting Richard Burton.  Speaking in a shaky rasp and staring at the camera with bloodshot eyes, Burton appears to be at the height of his famous self-loathing in this film.  Burton is so miscast as an idealistic priest that the film becomes fascinating to watch.  Occasionally, the film tries to make us suspect that Lamont himself may be possessed but with Burton snarling his way through the role, how could anyone tell the difference?

Lamont tracks Regan down in New York.  Regan doesn’t remember a thing about the exorcism and appears to be an overly happy teenage actress.  (A good deal of the movie is devoted to her rehearsing a big dance number.)  She is under the care of psychiatrist Gene Tuskin (Louise Fletcher).  Tuskin has a device called the Synchronizer.  When two people are hooked up to it, they can literally see into each other’s minds.  They can share the same memories.  They can … wait a minute.  What the Hell?  The Synchronizer essentially appears to be little more than a blinking light but it can actually allow you to enter into someone else’s mind?  Doesn’t that seem like that should be a big deal?

Well, it’s not.  Everyone pretty much just shrugs and accepts it…

Through the use of the Synchronizer, Reagan, Lamont, and Tuskin get to watch a lot of scenes from the first Exoricst.  It also allows Father Lamont to have visions of Africa and another exorcism, this one involving a young boy named Kokumo.

This leads to one of my favorite parts of the film; Richard Burton wandering around a dusty African market and randomly telling people, “I am looking for Kokumo.”  It turns out that Kukomo has grown up to be a doctor and he’s now played by James Earl Jones, who appears to be amused by his dialogue.  Also showing up in the film’s Africa scenes is Ned Beatty.  Beatty plays a pilot who flies Lamont to Kokumo’s village.  “Have you come here before?” Beatty asks.  “Once … on the wings of a demon,” Lamont replies.

Well, okay then…

The first Exorcist worked largely because William Friedkin directed it as if he was making a documentary.  John Boorman takes the exact opposite approach here, trying to turn a cheap sequel into a metaphysical meditation on good, evil, and nature.  It’s amazingly pretentious and it would actually be rather annoying if not for the fact that Burton doesn’t make the slightest bit of effort to come across as being in any way emotionally or intellectually invested in his over-the-top dialogue.  When you combine Burton’s overwhelming cynicism with Linda Blair’s nearly insane perkiness, Louise Fletcher’s genial confusion, and James Earl Jones’s cheerful humor, the end result is something that simply has to be seen to be believed.

So, yes, The Heretic is as bad as you’ve heard.  But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch it.