Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.22 “Surrogate Mother/The Ideal Woman”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  The show is once again on Tubi!

It’s time for one last trip to Fantasy Island.

Episode 7.22 “Surrogate Mother/The Ideal Woman”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on May 19th, 1984)

All things must come to an end.  For the original Fantasy Island, the final episode of the seventh season was also the final episode of the series.

The show didn’t get a grand finale.  Instead, it was a typical episode with two fantasies.  In one fantasy, Charo — yes, Charo — played a woman who had been hired to be a surrogate mother for a childless couple (John Saxon and Juliet Mills).  In the other one, Ben Saunders (Shea Farrell) tried to win back his ex-fiancee (Mary Kate McGeehan) while judging a Fantasy Island beauty pageant.  (How many pageants did Fantasy Island host?)  Two men (Don Galloway and David Sheiner) demanded that Ben pick their girlfriends as the Ideal Woman.  (Both of the girlfriends materialized on the Island, one from a painting and one from a block of stone.  It was a weird fantasy.)  Ben picked his ex, declaring her to be the “ideal woman.”  Neither fantasy was great, though I will say that Charo gave a surprisingly sincere performance and it was nice that frequent Fantasy Island guests stars John Saxon and Juliet Mills appeared on the last episode.  It was an okay trip to the Island, particularly when compared to some of the other season 7 episodes.  Still, the whole thing felt a bit tired.

I have to admit that it’s hard for me to believe that I just reviewed the final episode of the original Fantasy Island.  I started reviewing Fantasy Island on September 6th, 2022.  It was one of the original shows that I picked for Retro Television Reviews.  Now that I’m finishing the show up in 2026, The Love Boat is the only one of my original picks that I still have episodes left to review.  I’ll be reviewing The Love Boat for a while.

(To be honest, I’m stunned that I’ve stuck with these reviews.  I don’t think anyone was expecting me to get all the way to end of Hang Time, let alone Fantasy Island.)

My thoughts on Fantasy Island?  I loved the first four seasons.  The fifth season, with its introduction of Julie and it’s frequent side-lining of Tattoo, was when the show started to go downhill.  The biggest mistake that the show made was, needless to say, not agreeing to pay whatever was necessary to get Herve Villechaize to come back for season 7.  Season 7, the season without Tattoo, felt odd from the start.  Christopher Hewett and Ricardo Montalban never had the right chemistry and the stories themselves were largely recycled from earlier episodes.  The perfect ending for Fantasy Island would have been the season 6 clip show.  

What’s next?  On television, Fantasy Island was revived twice.  In the 90s, Malcolm McDowell played a version of Mr. Rourke.  And then, more recently, there was an attempt to revive it on Fox but, after an enjoyable first season, that show became a self-parody.  I may review both of them in the future.  For now, though, I’m still considering several shows to start reviewing next week.  I’ll reveal my pick next Tuesday!

For now, let us say goodbye to Fantasy Island.  Thanks for the laughs, the tears, and the fantasies!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.4 “The Killer Indy”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Baker has a new partner!

Episode 5.4 “The Killer Indy”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on October 25th, 1981)

When a group of bikers start holding illegal street races, Getraer wants it stopped before someone is seriously hurt!  Jon Baker and his partner Steve McLeish decide to end the races by any means necessary, especially since Steve’s brothers are involved….

Wait, who?

Played by a pre-transition Caitlyn Jenner, Steve McLeish serves as Baker’s partner in this episode.  We don’t really get much of an introduction as to who Steve is or why he’s even riding with Baker.  Everyone just acts as if Steve has always been there.  Ponch is not even mentioned and it’s difficult not to notice that Larry Wilcox seems a bit more cheerful than usual in this episode.  For once, he’s the one who gets to do all of the cool stuff while everyone else watches.

This was the first of several episodes that Erik Estrada missed during the fifth season, the result of being injured during a stunt gone wrong.  Jenner, who was then best-known as an Olympian, was brought in to play Steve McLeish.  Judging from this episode, Jenner was a remarkably bad actor.  Compared to everyone else in the episode, Jenner comes across as being awkward and stiff.  Like many nonprofessional actors, it’s obvious that Jenner was not sure what do when not delivering dialogue.  Jenner stands there, hands awkwardly positioned and occasionally trying to react to the other actors.  It’s really almost painful to watch.

It’s obvious that this episode was written with Ponch in mind.  Like Ponch, Steve has two brothers and used to be a motorcycle-racing delinquent when he was younger.  His older brother (who is played by the legendary character actor Robert F. Lyons) is named Toro, which might make sense if he was Ponch’s brother but, as it is, you really do have to wonder about the parents who would name one son Toro and the other sons Steve and Ted.  Ted, incidentally, is played by Kevyn Major Howard.  Howard, Lyons and Jenner have next to no features in common, leading one to wonder how they could possibly all be members of the same family?

There was some good motorcycle chase action in this episode.  There was also so much dialogue about the importance of wearing a helmet that, as soon as the gang’s leader announced he didn’t need a helmet, the most viewers had to know that he was doomed to ultimately be thrown from his motorcycle and crash headfirst into the pavement.  “He hit his head,” Getraer says and that’s the last we hear about the guy.

As for this episodes comedic subplot, Grossman begged his fellow patrol people to join him and his nieces at the waterpark.  While Baker, Steve, and everyone else took care of his nieces, Grossman hung out with his two bikini-clad neighbors.  Grossman winked at the camera as the CHiPs theme music started to play.

And so, it’s another day in L.A….

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.10 “To Have And To Hold”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

The 100th episode of Miami Vice finds Crockett and Tubbs pursuing separate stories.

Episode 5.10 “To Have And To Hold”

(Dir by Eugene Corr, originally aired on February 10th, 1989)

When Sonny learns that his now-teenage son (Clayton Barclay Jones) is acting out at school, he hops on a plane and flies to wherever it is that his ex-wife (Belinda Montgomery) and her new husband (Parris Buckner) are supposed to be living now.  Sonny discovers that his ex-wife is pregnant and that his son is having a hard time adjusting to the idea of being an older brother.  He also doesn’t get along with his stepfather.  Sonny and his son watch the original, Boris Karloff-starring Frankenstein in a movie theater and have a discussion about family.

(Sonny’s son says that he relates to the Monster because the Monster doesn’t mean to kill people but he does.  Today, that would probably lead to the kid getting suspended from school and sent to a boot camp.  In 1989, though, that just meant the kid was feeling misunderstood.)

With Crockett gone, it falls to Tubbs — using his “Cooper” persona and his fake Jamaican accent — to investigate who is responsible for killing a just-married drug kingpin.  Tubbs meets the kingpin’s ruthless son (Miguel Ferrer, looking intense) and he also falls in love with the kingpin’s widow (Elpidia Carrillo).  Tubbs is in love and thinking of leaving Vice?  Needless to say, the widow is dead by the end of the episode.

This episode concludes with Tubbs and Crockett fishing on Crockett’s boat.  They’re both feeling disillusioned.  Crockett is still in love with his ex-wife.  Tubbs is realizing that he’ll probably never find happiness as long as he’s working undercover in Miami.  It’s a bit of a bittersweet ending.  Neither Crockett nor Tubbs seems to be particularly happy.  Miami Vice was always at its best when it ended on a down note.

This episode managed to give Crockett and Tubbs an equal amount of screentime and both Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas gave good performances.  Unfortunately, the divided format of the episode meant that both stories ended up feeling a bit rushed and incomplete.  The ending was effective and Miguel Ferrer gave a typically strong performance but otherwise, this was a pretty uneven episode.

Song of the Day: Every Breath You Take vs The Theme From Peter Gunn


I was thinking of re-binging The Sopranos next month and that led to me remembering this totally awesome bit of music from the show’s third season premiere!

Brad reviews MISSION KASHMIR (2000), starring Bollywood heartthrob Hrithik Roshan!


Happy 52nd Birthday to Bollywood actor Hrithik Roshan!

Around the turn of the century, I first became aware of the films being made in Bollywood, India’s Hindi-language film industry. It was then I noticed that the film MISSION KASHMIR was for sale at the Best Buy in Little Rock, AR. I figured that this must be a pretty good film to find itself manufactured, packaged, and being sold all the way over here in Central Arkansas. That was also around the time that I first signed up for Netflix. Not yet a streaming giant, Netflix was just a service for renting movies through the mail. I immediately put MISSION KASHMIR in my queue so I could check it out. This was only my third Bollywood experience, behind the very good films DIL SE (1998) and ASOKA (2001). I remember being fired up about the chance to see some new actors and discover a Hindi action film. Although not completely satisfying, I did find MISSION KASHMIR to be an enjoyable experience.

The plot finds Inspector Khan (Sanjay Dutt) living the good life. He has a beautiful wife (Sonali Kulkarni), a good son, lives in a beautiful house, and gets paid to periodically kick the posteriors of some bad Indians. Unfortunately, his success in his professional life has had some bad side effects. One particularly bad guy has put out the word that any doctor who treats Inspector Khan, or his family, will be killed, and as one scene proves, this guy is a man of his word. Next thing you know, Khan’s son falls and hits his head. Tragically, the boy dies because all of the doctors refuse to help him until it is already too late.

Seeking revenge, his face covered by a black ski mask, Khan tracks down the men responsible and viciously kills them all, including the innocent father, mother, and daughter of a family being held captive by the bad guys. The only survivor is the young son of the slaughtered family, Altaaf, who has terrifying dreams of the black-masked killer of his family. Inspector Khan, who feels extreme guilt over what he has done, allows his wife to talk him into bringing the boy to their house rather than allowing him to spend his childhood in an orphanage.

Life is just starting to get good again when Altaaf figures out that the killer of his family was actually his new father, Khan. After first pausing to try to kill Khan unsuccessfully, Altaaf takes off, not to be heard from again for 10 years. When Altaaf finally shows back up, he has turned into heartthrob Hrithik Roshan, is under the control of a psycho terrorist (played by Jackie Shroff) who has a plan to bomb the heck out of Kashmir, and has a new laundry list of goals in life:

  1. Use childhood sweetheart for terror purposes even though I still love her – check!
  2. Establish well-groomed bearded stubble look – check!
  3. Use kung fu training to good action effect – check!
  4. DESTROY INSPECTOR KHAN AT ALL COSTS!!! – ??????

I’ll let you discover the results of goal number four.

Before I go into my thoughts on MISSION KASHMIR, I want to note that while the film is set against the backdrop of the Kashmir conflict, it mostly uses that setting for its story of personal melodrama and high-octane action. I am no expert on the region’s complex politics, so this review focuses only on what I think of the movie itself, with no added political commentary.

As a movie, MISSION KASHMIR has a lot of good things going for it. First and foremost, I am a fan of action films, and I was looking for some good action scenes. This film did not disappoint in that department. From the MATRIX-like introduction to Altaaf’s adult persona to the final attempts to thwart the master terrorist’s plot, the action is presented in a highly stylized manner. Wirework kung fu, slow-motion carnage, and a hero wielding a massive missile launcher aimed at bad guys make for a pleasant viewing experience in my book.

Secondly, the film features some good performances. Sanjay Dutt’s portrayal of Inspector Khan is commanding, and I found myself really pulling for his character. It is hard not to be sympathetic to a guy who endures as much as he does here. This was the first time I had seen Hrithik Roshan in a film. With his matinee idol good looks, Roshan was emerging as a major star of Hindi cinema, even challenging Shah Rukh Khan, the reigning megastar of Bollywood. Roshan gives a solid performance as the grown-up Altaaf and is especially strong in the action scenes. The other major performance comes from Preity Zinta, who plays the girl Altaaf loved as a child and still loves as a man. I had seen her before in DIL SE and really like the naturalistic, best-friend, girl-next-door vibe she brings to her roles, albeit a very beautiful girl next door. It is easy to see why Altaaf has always loved her. Finally, as with the other Bollywood films I have seen, this movie is just beautiful to look at. I think the greatest cinematography of landscapes in the world is being done in India.

I do have a couple of complaints with MISSION KASHMIR. First, clocking in at over two and a half hours, the movie is too long. The story could have been made into a very exciting ninety-minute film. As it is, the movie seems to drag in places, with the insertion of songs and sequences that do not add much to the proceedings. There were times I found myself thinking, “OK, I get it. He really loves her. Now let’s move on with it,” or “Not another song…” Secondly, I felt that some of the songs were simply not appropriate for what was happening on the screen. For example, there is one peppy little dance number that leads directly into a horrific tragedy. Granted, the scene is effective for the surprise element, but when the film should have been building action and suspense, it instead throws in this routine, which took me out of the movie for a bit. These are the only real complaints I had.

Overall, I did enjoy MISSION KASHMIR. The movie is filled with strong action sequences, along with good performances from a talented cast. Although it overstays its welcome in certain areas, I still recommend this film and give it a 7 out of 10.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.8 “Easy Come Easy Go”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Time to get back to 1st & Ten.  To be honest, with all the excitement of the holiday season, I totally forgot that I was reviewing this show.

Episode 2.8 “Easy Come, Easy Go”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on January 6th, 1987)

This is yet another episode of 1st & Ten that felt as if it was put together almost at random.

Mad Dog (Tony Longo) has a one night stand with a lawyer named Molly (June Chadwick) and he ends up becoming obsessed with her.  He shows up at a fancy cocktail party being hosted by Molly’s law firm.  “This man is stalking me!” Molly yells.  All of the men at the party are like, “Mad Dog!  You’re my favorite player!”  Now, I will say that this is a realistic portrayal of how most men act whenever they see a professional athlete but it still felt a bit icky to watch.

Jethro takes a blood test and discovers that little Tommy is not his son.  But he still wants to be a part of the kid’s life.

Yinessa sees a tabloid newspaper headline about his “nude pictures” and starts yelling at a supermarket manager for selling the paper.

Waldren is in financial trouble because he’s been tossing money around.  A group of gamblers approach him and offer to pay to shave points.  OJ Simpson (in the role of offensive coordinator T.D. Parker) tells Waldren, “I’m keeping my eye on you.”  Oh no!  LOOK OUT, WALDREN!

However, Waldren does not shave points.  Instead, he catches the ball that seals the Bulls victory in their first playoff game.  Woo hoo!  Go, Waldren!

A lot happened but, in typical 1st & Ten fashion, none of it added up to much.  It could be because the streaming episodes were edited for syndication but this is just a weird show.  Every episode feels as if their huge chunks of plot missing.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, we begin season 7!

Episodes 7.1 and 7.2 “China Cruise: The Pledge/East Meets West/Dear Roberta/My Two Dumplings”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 1st, 1983)

It’s time for season seven of The Love Boat!

Gopher has been promoted to head purser.  For six seasons, he was assistant purser and I always wondered who the head purser was.  Apparently, there wasn’t one because Stubing promoted him without firing anyone.  It’s possible that I just don’t know how cruise ships work.

The Love Boat crew starts off the season with a cruise around China!  I guess the old saying is true — only Stubing could go to China.  I kept waiting for Stubing to announce that he recognized Taiwan as an independent nation but he didn’t.  I was a little bit disappointed by that.  Instead, Stubing and the crew saw the sights.  There’s a panda bear!  There’s the Great Wall of China!  There’s a bunch of young people all singing, almost as the future of their loved ones depended on doing a good job!  In fact, this premiere episode is really more about seeing the sights of China than it is about any of the drama playing out on the boat.  I guess that makes since.  This episode aired in the pre-Internet age of 1983, so for the audience, this really was a chance to see a world that they probably couldn’t otherwise experience.  It’s not like they could go on YouTube and do a search for China or something like that.  It was up to The Love Boat to open up the world!

That said, Chinese medicine came in for a bit of criticism.  Susan Anton played a woman who didn’t trust doctors and who thought buying a Chinese symbol for good luck would keep her safe.  However, when she suddenly had intense stomach pain, it was up to Doc to save her life.  Where’s your good luck charm now!?

Linda Evans played a woman who fell in love with Lee Majors, little suspecting that Majors was the author of the “Dear Roberta” advice column.  Some of “Roberta’s” advice led to Evans divorcing her previous husband.

Lee Horsley played a man with two girlfriends (Erin Moran and Pat Klous).  Uh-oh!  They all ended up on the boat at the same time!

Finally, Ursula Andress played a dying woman who fell for a mysterious but charming passenger (John Forsythe).  Unfortunately, Forsythe had a warrant out for his arrest and Detective Michael Constantine was determined to take him into custody.  This story was unique in that it had an unhappy ending!  While the crew had a few unhappy endings (Remember when Julie was left at the altar?), this was the first time that things didn’t work out for a passenger.

Was this a good episode?  It was, strictly from the point of view that I like The Love Boat crew and I enjoy spending time with them.  This episode was occasionally a bit too much of a travelogue but the Andress/Forsythe story carried some weight.  All in all, it was a decent start for season 7.