Seeing as today is Lincoln’s Birthday, it seems appropriate that today’s song of the day should come from John Williams’s score of Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln, performed here by the Film Symphony Orchestra.
Seeing as today is Lincoln’s Birthday, it seems appropriate that today’s song of the day should come from John Williams’s score of Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln, performed here by the Film Symphony Orchestra.

Episode 7 begins with two drunk cowboys, who work for Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed), raising cane and deciding they’ll go harass some sodbusters just for the hell of it. On this day, they ride over to Ira Jackson’s (Jason Wingreen) ranch, where Marian Starett (Jill Ireland) is there visiting Ira’s daughter Elizabeth (Catherine Ferrar). As the cowboys ride around the house, hooping and hollering and shooting off their guns, a frustrated Ira opens the door and fires a blast from his shotgun. The cowboys shoot back toward the house, hitting a kerosene lamp in the kitchen and starting a fire. Ira gets the ladies out of the house and then commences to fighting with the cowboys, who now realize what they’ve done and are wanting to help put out the fire. While the men and Marian are distracted with the fight, Elizabeth runs back into the house to try to save her calico cat, where she is engulfed by the flames and dies.
We move on to Elizabeth’s funeral and see Shane (David Carradine) ride up with Reverend Harry Himber (James Whitmore). Rufe Ryker is there and he tells Shane and the Reverend that he’s sorry about what happened, that he had nothing to do with it, and that he doesn’t want any trouble. Shane isn’t in much mood to listen to Ryker so he moves on. Reverend Himber, who we will come to find out is a pacifist, begins the service by saying that Elizabeth would want everyone there to remember the good times they had together with her, as well as look inward to find forgiveness and understanding. Hellbent on revenge, Ira just screams “No!”
That night, after chewing his two cowhands out, Ryker decides he’s going to pay them two months wages and send them out of town. He would rather lose a couple of good cowboys as fight a war with Ira. As one of the men, the young Hoke (Dee Pollock), is on his way out of town, Ira shoots him down from the hillside with his rifle. The remainder of the episode consists of Shane and Tom Starett (Tom Tully) trying to protect Ira and the other local farmers from the wrath of Ryker and his men, while Reverend Himber tries to get everyone to talk it out to avoid more killings in the valley.
In episode 7, the character of Rufe Ryker takes center stage, along with Shane and the visiting Reverend Himber, played here by guest star James Whitmore in an incredible performance. This is probably the deepest episode we’ve dealt with thus far, with each character showing some level of moral complexity. Neither Shane or Ryker want a fight, but they both prepare to get bloody for different reasons. Ryker makes it clear that he will protect his men and fight for them even when they’re wrong. Shane makes it clear that he will fight for the sodbusters against powerful men like Ryker even when he thinks they’re wrong. And then there’s Reverend Himber, the pacifist who is willing to do whatever it takes to stop a fight. During the episode we find out that he had been forced to kill six enemy soldiers when they raided the hospital he was working at during the war. This episode drives home the fact that a man’s ideals will at times contrast harshly with the realities of the positions they find themselves in. Each of these three men finds himself in a situation that has grown bigger than him, with both Ryker and Shane recognizing the deal and preparing for the worst. Reverend Himber, on the other hand, tries to take control of the situation, only to be the catalyst for more tragedy. We have all been in situations where we hope for the best, but we’re smart enough to prepare for the worst, because some of the biggest fools alive are the ones who think they can control other people.
Overall, the “Day of the Hawk” is a strong episode that has a surprisingly powerful and emotional conclusion. The storyline belongs to Shane, Ryker and the Reverend, so Shane’s relationship with Marian takes a back seat this time around. I don’t think they look at each other longingly a single time, which did make me a little sad. Here’s hoping they’ll double that up in Episode 8!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
Who cares? Roll the opening credits.
Episode 1.6 “Takedown”
(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on April 6th, 1996)
Three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in …. oh Hell. Where does this show take place? I know it’s in California but what’s the name of the town? Malibu? Is that it? Hold on, let me check with Wikipedia….
SANTA MONICA! That’s where this show takes place.
See, that’s the type of show that Pacific Blue is. I am now six episodes into this show and I’m still can’t tell you where it specifically takes place. It’s not that they haven’t mentioned that the show is set in Santa Monica. And considering that I even attended Saint Monica School for a semester, you would think that I would be able to remember it. But Pacific Blue is such a generic show that it’s difficult to really remember a thing about it. It fades from your memory within seconds of being watched. About the only thing that really sticks with the viewer about this show is how stupid everyone looks on their bicycles with their tight white shirts and their blue shorts. The fact that Rick Rossovich plays their leader with a perpetual air of grim determination only serves to make them seem even more ridiculous. Cops are supposed to look intimidating. That’s one reason why a lot of people don’t like them. These cops just look like the type of douchebags you dread getting stuck behind in traffic.
As for this episode, three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in Santa Monica. Somehow, they always manage to escape right before the cops show up. Maybe that’s because the cops are all on bicycles and they have to steer across crowded sidewalks without even having the benefit of a siren to tell people to get out of the way. What’s odd is that no one ever seems to notice the criminals until they pull out their guns. These are three extremely scruffy criminals, all of whom are clad in clothes that don’t appear to have been washed in days. Are you seriously telling me no one would notice that on the beach in San Diego or wherever this freaking show takes place?
If I was a store owner who got robbed at gunsight and who then called the police, nothing would piss me off more than having the bicycle cops respond. Seriously, you need a car to chase criminals! All the criminals have to do is wait for the bike cops to pull a muscle or ride over a stick in the middle of the road and then they’ll be home free. If I get robbed, give me the real cops!
TC gets upset when one of the criminals points a gun at him. Lt. Palermo encourages him to stop being stoic and get in touch with his feelings and …. oh, who cares? Freaking bicycle cops. While that’s going on, Chris takes a creative writing class and dates her professor (Zach Galligan). From what we hear of Chris’s literary efforts, she has no talent whatsoever. She was such a bad writer that I literally got angry while she reading her story. I wanted the professor to throw something at her. Also, Victor del Toro falls in love with a model (Krista Allen) and even gets a date with her, despite his dumbass bicycle.
Where does this show take place again? Malibu?
Anyway, this was just another episode about the most useless cops ever.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week, Fantasy Island goes country.
Episode 6.5 “Everybody Goes to Gilley’s/Face of Fire”
(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on November 20th, 1982)
Mickey Gilley is a country-western singer who comes to Fantasy Island because he wants to finally become a star after years of struggling. Tattoo, who is a huge country music fan, puts on a cowboy hat and decides that he’ll be Gilley’s “exclusive manager.” Not so fast, Mr. Roarke says. Apparently, there’s a country-western bar on the other side of the Island and the owner, Mr. Sherwood (Dennis Cole), has a fantasy of finally having a successful bar. Roarke arranges for Gilley and Sherwood to become partners. Gilley is a star whenever he performs in Sherwood’s bar. In the end, Sherwood and Gilley leave the Island together with Sherwood as Gilley’s new manager.
I’m not a huge country music fan so I have to admit that, until I watched this episode, I had no idea who Mickey Gilley was. (In fact, in my first draft of this review, I repeatedly called him “Dennis Gilley,” so that tells you how much I know about county-western singers.) Gilley actually was a country music star, one who did spend several years toiling away in small clubs before he finally found success. This role was autobiographical for him. It’s a bit odd that he plays himself but maybe he was a big deal in 1982. As I said, country music is not my area of expertise and 1982 is a bit before my time. What I can say is that, on the show, Gilley was portrayed in a way that kind of made him seem like a jerk. I mean, the nonstop complaining and all the demands! “I’m not here for romance,” he tells Roarke at one point. Don’t tell Mr. Roarke how to do his job, Gilley!
The other storyline was a take on Jane Eyre. Jean Harrigan (Lynn Redgrave) is from Nevada, despite being totally English. She needs a million dollars. A mysterious rich guy (David Hedison) offers it to her if she can survive a weekend at his home. His crazy wife is locked away in a bedroom. She ends up catching on fire towards the end of the episode, freeing things up for Jean and the rich guy. What’s interesting is that the rich guy says that he originally met Jean when his car broke down in the Nevada desert and Jean gave him a ride. What’s interesting about this is that, when the legendary Howard Hughes died, a man named Melvin Dummar claimed that he had once given Hughes a ride after coming across him stranded in the Nevada desert and, in return, Hughes left him a good deal of his fortune. Dummar even produced a will in support of his claim. The courts ruled the will to have been a forgery and Dummar never received his money, though there still are people out there who defend “the Dummar will” and claims that he was telling the truth about meeting Hughes. Fortunately, Jean does get her money and a chance to spend some time with the totally charming and handsome David Hedison.
(Hedison was also the best Felix Leiter, appearing in Live and Let Die and License to Kill.)
Perhaps not surprisingly, I preferred the gothic story to the country music story. I appreciated that Tattoo got to do something this episode. The scene where he declares himself to be Gilley’s manager felt like a throwback to the show’s earlier seasons. This journey to the Island was a mixed bag for me, though overall it was a pleasant trip.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
Last night’s review of CHiPs was pre-empted by a sudden storm. Here it is now, in its entirety,
Episode 3.8 “Hot Wheels”
(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on November 3rd, 1979)
Ponch is still in the hospital, recovering from last week’s accident. Still, because he’s Ponch, he’s the one who figures out that a bunch of disgruntled fireman are using city trucks to commit their jewelry thefts. Hey, wait a minute. Last week’s episode was also about jewelry thefts. Admittedly, CHiPs was a show that tended to recycle plots but, even by CHiPs standards, this is one of those coincidences that leaves you wondering what exactly was going on in the writer’s room.
Actually, it’s easy to guess. Erik Estrada really was injured while filming an episode. The cast that he wears throughout this episode was real and, as easy as it can be to make fun of his overexpressive acting and his tendency to lose his shirt every other scene, you do have to respect that Estrada showed to film this episode at all. With Estrada injured, one gets the feeling that this episode, just like last week’s, was quickly rewritten to cover the situation.
Baker gets a temporary partner in this episode. It’s the return of his former motorcycle mate, John Clayton! Clayton was apparently Baker’s partner before Ponch. Clayton has a reputation for being a practical joker, It’s all anyone can talk about. Clayton is a legendary prankster! They really want us to know that Clayton’s a fun guy before he shows up and we discover that he’s played by Andrew Robinson, the actor who is best-known for playing the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry. Robinson wears a mustache as Clayton, probably in an attempt to keep 1979 audiences from looking at the screen and going, “Hey, I remember that guy hijacking a school bus!”
(I should mention that Andrew Robinson himself was a committed pacifist when he filmed Dirty Harry, to the extent that he actually flinched whenever he had to shoot the killer’s gun and he actually traumatized himself while filming the school bus hijack. He actually sounds like a pretty nice guy who just happened to play one of the most loathsome screen villains of all time.)
Baker works with Clayton and it must be said that Larry Wilcox does seem to be noticeably happier when he’s acting opposite Robinson than he ever did when he was acting opposite Estrada. The episode features Clayton performing a heroic and dangerous rescue at one point and it’s easy to see that that scene was originally conceived with Estrada in mind. It’s also easy to imagine Estrada flashing his big grin at the end of the scene while Robinson, on the other hand, plays up the fact that anyone, even a dedicated cop, would be absolutely exhausted after all that.
Robinson does a good job as Clayton and it’s always fun to see Martin Kove play a villain on show like this. This was a good episode. Estrada, I assume, will be back on his bike next week.
Today’s music video of the day has a weird vibe that I like. Watching it, I found myself thinking about those weird cults that would form communes in the wild and everyone would have the same hairstyle and every night would end with a sing along around the campfire. Admittedly, I’m not sure if these cults actually exist but I always imagine they’re out there somewhere. Personally, I would dread running into them.
Enjoy!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, Tubbs has an adventure!
Episode 3.17 “The Afternoon Plane”
(Dir by David Jackson, originally aired on February 20th, 1987)
While attending a New Age-y wedding with his latest girlfriend Alicia (Maria McDonald), Tubbs wins a vacation to a tropical island!
It’s about time something …. well, I was going to say something good but honestly, I guess we should just be happy that anything is happening to Tubbs at all. When this show started, Tubbs was the audience surrogate. He was the one who came down to Miami and learned about the drug scene. We saw Miami through his eyes. But, by the time the third season rolled around, it was pretty clear that Miami Vice hard largely become the Crockett show. Don Johnson was the star and Philip Michael Thomas often seemed like a supporting character. Tubbs may have been cooler than Switek but, often times, both of them took a backseat to Crockett. This week, however, Tubbs finally get his own episode. Crockett shows up for a few minutes at the start of the episode and that’s it. This is the Tubbs show!
Of course, it turns out that the vacation does not go the way that Tubbs was expecting. He runs into a drug dealer named Leon Wolf (Vincent D’Onofrio, making his television acting debut), someone who Tubbs previously put in jail. Tubbs soon discovers that his old enemies, the Calderone family, are on the Island and they’re looking forward to getting their revenge on Tubbs. Tubbs, of course, has no legal jurisdiction on the island and the local police certainly aren’t going to help him out. In fact, many people on the island resent Tubbs because they blame America’s war on drugs for their poverty. Drug smuggling is big business and it provides an income to a lot of people who would starve otherwise.
Orlando Calderone (John Leguizamo) is coming on the next afternoon plane and no one is willing to defy Orlando by helping Tubbs get off the island. The episode becomes a Caribbean High Noon, with the clock ticking down and no one willing to stand up and help the endangered law man. There are some on the island who want to fight back and drive away the Calderones. But no one is willing to take the chance.
It would have been a lot more compelling if Orlando had been played by someone other than John Leguizamo, who is just as cartoonishly unconvincing here as he was the first time that he appeared on the show. I know that Miami Vice was early in Leguizamo’s career but his performance here is so unconvincing that it really does make the Calderones just seem like a bunch of low-level punks instead of a feared criminal syndicate. The final gun battle between Tubbs and the Calderones is handled well-enough but it’s never quite as compelling as it would be if Orlando Calderone was actually an intimidating villain. In typical Miami Vice fashion, Alicia is seriously wounded in the battle. It pays not to get involved with either Tubbs or Crockett.
This episode was a slight change of pace. Apparently, everyone but Philip Michael Thomas got to take some time off during filming and, as a result, Thomas gets to show his own unique style as Rico Tubbs. Still, this episode was never as compelling as it needed to be. Hopefully, we are now done with the Calderones.
The late composer Jerry Goldsmith was born 96 years ago today. Over the course of his long career, he composed many classic film scores. He was nominated for 18 Oscars and won for his score for The Omen.
Today’s song of the day comes from Goldsmith’s score for 1968’s Planet of the Apes! Listen to this and try not visualize Charlton Heston being chased by a bunch of gorillas on horseback.
Here at TSL, we’re all about doing things our own way.
Enjoy!
In previous years, after the Super Bowl, I’ve listed my favorite ads of the night. I’m not going to do that this year because, quite frankly, I don’t have enough ads to list. This year, the Super Bowl was boring. The game was boring and the ads were boring. There were barely any new movie trailers. In previous years, Leonard and I exhausted ourselves trying to keep up with and share all of the Super Bowl movie spots. This year, we could take things easy.
As for the game …. listen, I’m not a football person. Our longtime readers know that. Usually, when I’m bored with a football game, I assume it’s because I’m just not into football. But this year, the game was so slow that even my colleagues here at TSL got bored with it. While the biggest game of the year was being played in New Orleans, we largely used the game as background noise as we talked about everything from HBO’s True Detective to whether or not it was acceptable to nuke all of your enemies in Civ. Once I realized that there weren’t going to be any big commercials, I immediately started thinking about relaxing in a hot tub for an hour or two. It turned out to be a little less than an hour because it’s cold outside, folks!
What a disappointing game. I can’t believe that I actually pre-empted my retro television reviews for that thing. Oh well! Live and learn.
Actually, now that I think about it, there was one commercial that I really liked, just because it featured a horse.
I’ve seen some speculation online that the commercials were safe and predictable this year because ad agencies are still adjusting to how to advertise in the second Trump era. That’s possible. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Super Bowl commercials that were so determinedly nonpartisan. In the past, I think the general assumption that advertisers made was that the country was full of politically active young people with a lot of spending money and, as a result, it only made sense to tailor commercials to them. Hence, we got Zachary Quinto dramatically reading the ending of 1984 for Amazon Audible and Kylie Jenner defusing tensions at a protest by giving a Pepsi to a cop. We got a commercial for a migraine medicine in which the main character was able to go to a protest because her migraine cleared up. There was even a commercial featuring a teenage girl leading an environmental rally because she had the confidence that went along with having clear skin. All the online complaining was taken as a badge of honor. “We’re making the right people mad,” as the saying goes. But, with the recent elections, it’s now kind of obvious that the supposedly leftward tilt of the country was much overestimated. It felt like the ads this year were trying to reclaim the middle, nonpartisan ground that was originally abandoned in 2017. They did so by playing everything safe. As a result, none of the commercials this year were controversial but, at the same time, none of them were particularly interesting either. It says something about how bland things were that the most talked about commercial was another one of those flaky “He Gets Us” commercials, which feel like almost a parody of the shallow understanding most people have of theology.
(Incidentally, we watched the game on Tubi. Tubi did a very good job of streaming the game, with none of the trouble that Netflix has had with its live events.)
In other words, the Super Bowl was boring this year but I did enjoy watching it with my TSL colleagues. And I love horses! And now, on with the rest of 2025!