Today, we present to you 2015’s The Flight Before Christmas!
Mayim Bialik and Ryan McPartin are both on the same Christmas Eve flight. Bialik plays a woman who has given up on romance. McPartin plays a man who is flying to Boston to ask his girlfriend to marry him, even though it’s obvious that they’re not right for each other. At first, our two main characters don’t get along but then their flight is temporarily diverted to the most romantic place on Earth …. Bozeman, Montana!
You can guess what happens. You’ve probably already guessed that it occurs at a quaint Bed & Breakfast. But did you guess that Brian Doyle-Murray plays a jolly man named Noel Nichols and that …. oh, you did? Well, good for you.
It’s a cute movie, nonetheless. If there is a Santa Claus, I hope he’s played by Brian Doyle-Murray.
In 2011’s Marriage Retreat, Jeff Fahey and Victoria Jackson play marriage counselors.
Seriously, that’s bring to mind some wonderful images, doesn’t it? I would pay money for a film where Jeff Fahey plays a Dr. Phil-type psychiatrist who has his own television show where he yells at his guests and tell them that they’re not worth his time. Fahey would totally knock that role out of the park. As for Victoria Jackson, her eccentric screen persona would seem to make her the perfect companion for Fahey. Fahey is known for intensity. Jackson is known for being in her own private world. They’re a good combination!
And Fahey and Jackson are the best things about MarriageRetreat. Admittedly, Victoria Jackson doesn’t really get to do too much but she has a few good scenes with Fahey. Fahey, for his part, dominates the entire film. MarriageRetreat may be a lightweight and ultimately rather light-headed comedy but Fahey doesn’t give a lightweight performance. Fahey delivers all of his lines with that hard-driving intensity of his and, when someone complains about being married, Fahey’s glare tells you all you need to know. If the film’s message was that being a bad husband results in dealing with the wrath of Fahey, many husbands would immediately shape up.
Unfortunately, the rest of the film doesn’t really live up to the performances of either Fahey and Jackson. The majority of the film deals with three boring couples who all go on a marriage retreat. They stay at what appears to be a summer camp and they discuss why their marriages are falling apart.
For instance, Mark (David A.R. White) says that he’s not ready to be a father and he’s come up with all sorts of financial excuses to justify not starting a family. Do you think Jeff Fahey’s going to let him get away with that? No way! Plus, Mark’s wife (Andrea Logan White) is already pregnant so Mark better stop whining and step up.
Bobby Castle (Tommy Blaze) was a successful businessman but then he blew all of his money in some unwise investments. Now, Bobby is addicted to gambling online and his wife (Caroline Choi) is thinking of leaving him. Bobby is such a degenerate gambler (to quote Joe Pesci in Casino) that he even finds a way to get online at the camp so that he can continue to play poker on the Internet. The man needs help!
And finally, James Harlow (Matthew Florida) needs to grow up, especially since he’s about to become a father…. wait, a minute, I thought that was Mark’s problem. Well, no matter. Grow up, James!
The men are all immature and Jeff Fahey calls them out on it while Victoria Jackson tells the wives that they need to remember that God made them second and their job is to support their husbands …. wait, what? Oh, wait — this is another faith-based movie about marriage. The recurring theme in these films is that, no matter how much the husband screws up, it’s still ultimately the fault of the wife for not being understanding and supportive. Yeah, okay, then. There’s a difference between being supportive and being a doormat.
Anyway, the problem with this film is that I didn’t really care about the married couples. But I did enjoy watching Jeff Fahey do his thing.
2006’s HiddenSecrets takes place over the course of one very long weekend.
The death of their friend Chris has reunited a group of acquaintances, who gather for the funeral and then end up staying with Chris’s sister, Sherry (Tracy Melchior), for the weekend. The men gather on her roof and hammer tiles. The women …. well, for the most part, the women are just portrayed as being catty and judgmental.
For instance, Rhonda (Autumn Paul), who is married to Christian book author Harold (Gregg Brinkley), is offended that Gary (John Schneider) is doing stem cell research and is a Jewish agnostic who spends most of his time challenging Rhonda’s super-strict interpretation of the Bible. Interestingly enough, considering that this is a Pureflix film, Rhonda is not portrayed in a positive light and Gary usually gets the better of her in their arguments. Rhonda even apologizes at the end for being so judgmental. Of course, since this is a Pureflix film, Gary still ends up converting.
Pastor Jeremy (David A.R. White) is dating reporter Rachel (Staci Keanan). Rachel suspects that Jeremy is still in love with his ex-girlfriend, Sherry. Rachel is correct. You have to feel bad for Rachel, who certainly deserved better than she got in this movie. Jeremy and Rachel end up sharing a bed at Sherry’s house, which freaks Jeremy out because he’s all about abstinence.
Michael (Corin Nemec) is a gay Christian who practices celibacy and whose main function seems to be to offer people advice.
Anthony (Sean Sedgwick) is a rough and tumble guy who shows up with his latest girlfriend, Sally (Rachael Lampa), and who takes her out dancing for her birthday, even though Rhonda says that Christians shouldn’t dance.
The film follows these characters over the weekend, basically doing a BigChill sort of thing. Rhonda judges everyone. Gary is sarcastic. Jeremy is torn between Sherry and Rachel. The night of dancing for Sally’s birthday turns into an extended scene where Anthony, Jeremy, and Harold take to the stage and perform a song. It all wraps up with everyone confessing their fears during a church service and I have to admit that I felt sorry for all the people at the church who probably didn’t have the slightest idea why one group of people suddenly hijacked the service to discuss their own problems.
As far as PureFlix films go, this one was well-made and it actually did have some potential. No one was completely right and no one was completely wrong. The main message seemed to be accept and love one another. That said, it also had some fairly serious flaws. John Schneider doesn’t give a bad performance but he was still miscast as a Jewish abortionist. I love Corin Nemec and he gave one of the better performances in HiddenSecrets but the film used his character to promote the destructive “ex-gay” movement and it’s difficult not to be bothered by that. And finally, the resolution of Sherry/Jeremy/Rachel love triangle left me feeling that Jeremy was essentially a terrible, self-absorbed person. I don’t think that was what the film was going for but, regardless….
HiddenSecrets is an uneven film, to say the least. At its best, it made me miss some of my old friends. It’s been a while since we’ve all gotten together. Hopefully, when we next see each other, it won’t be at another funeral.
During 1990’s Die Hard 2, John McClane (Bruce Willis) asks himself, “How can the same shit happen to the same person twice?” and he does have a point.
I mean, consider the situation. In 1988, McClane spent his Christmas sneaking around a skyscraper and saving his wife from a group of sadistic mercenaries. Two years later, John McClane spends his Christmas sneaking around an airport and saving his wife from a group of sadistic mercenaries.
There are a few differences of course. In 1988, the mercenaries were only interested in stealing as much money as they could and each mercenary had his own properly ghoulish personality. In 1990, the mercenaries are really more of a cult, led by the fanatical Col. Stuart (William Sadler). And, along with trying to make some money, they are also trying to free General Ramon Esperanza (Franco Nero), a Central American drug lord and former CIA asset. Despite the fact that the mercenaries are played by familiar actors (like Robert Patrick, John Leguizamo, Tony Ganois, and Vondie Curtis-Hall), none of them are quite as memorable as the henchmen that Alan Rickman commanded in the first film. And while Sadler has charisma and makes a big impression during his first scene, his character is nowhere near as interesting or entertaining as Hans Gruber. Franco Nero, it must be said, is as dashing as ever. He really seems to be having fun in this movie.
A lot more people die in Die Hard 2 than died in the first Die Hard and the majority of them are innocent bystanders. This isn’t like the first film, where Harry Ellis died because his coke-addled mind led him to believe that he could outsmart Gruber. The victims in Die Hard 2 include a friendly church caretaker and over 200 passengers of an airplane that Stuart tricks into crashing on an airport runway. The scene where the plane crashes remains disturbing no matter how many times that you see it and it truly makes you hate Colonel Stuart. When the plane crashes, despite McClane’s futile efforts to warn the pilots, McClane sobs and it’s a powerful scene because it’s the first scene in which McClane has not had a quip or a one-liner ready to go. In this scene, McClane fails to save the day and, for a few minutes, he’s helpless. I usually end up crying with McClane. Today, those tears are also a reminder of what a good actor Bruce Willis truly could be whenever he let down his defenses and allowed himself to be vulnerable on screen.
Die Hard 2 is usually dismissed as not being as good as the first movie and …. well, that’s correct. It’s not as good but then again, few actions films are. There’s a reason why Die Hard continues to be held in such high regard. That said, Die Hard 2 is not bad. The stakes are a bit higher and the action scenes a bit more elaborate, as you would expect from a film directed by Renny Harlin. Bruce Willis plays McClane with the blue collar swagger that made his such an awesome hero in the first film. Bonnie Bedelia and William Atherton also return from the first film and Atherton once again gets his comeuppance in a crowd-pleasing moment. The cast is full of character actors, all of whom get a chance to make an impression. Dennis Franz is the profane head of security who eventually turns out to be not such a bad guy. John Amos is the major who eventually turns out to be not such a good guy. Colm Meaney has a few heart-breaking moments as the pilot of the doomed airplane. My favorite supporting performance is given by Fred Thompson, bringing his quiet authority to the role of tough but fair-minded Air Traffic Control director. Watching Die Hard 2, it does feel as if the viewer has been dropped in the middle of these people’s lives. Everyone seems real. No one seems like a mere plot device.
Is Die Hard a Christmas movie? You bet it is! But so is Die Hard 2 and it’s not a bad one.
And, in an alternative universe, it was a Frank Sinatra movie.
Released into theaters in 1988, Die Hard was based on a novel called Nothing Lasts Forever. Nothing Lasts Forever told roughly the same story as Die Hard, with one of the big exceptions being that the cop fighting the terrorists was not the youngish and quippy John McClane but instead was a weary, aging and retired detective named Joe Leland. Leland previously appeared in another novel called The Detective. In 1968, The Detective was turned into a film and the role of Leland was played by Frank Sinatra. As a part of his contract, Sinatra had the right to play Leland in any sequels to The Detective. When Die Hard was in pre-production, Sinatra could have demanded that the film be a Joe Leland film and that he be allowed to star in it. Fortunately, Sinatra did not do that and Joe Leland was instead transformed into John McClane. And, after the role was was turned down by Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Clint Eastwood, Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Don Johnson, Harrison Ford, Burt Reynolds, Paul Newman, James Caan, Al Pacino, and Richard Dean Anderson, popular television actor Bruce Willis finally received the role.
Seriously, just consider that. Bruce Willis was not only not the first choice for John McClane but even Richard Dean Anderson was offered the role before the filmmakers finally went with Willis. It’s hard to imagine anyone else starring in Die Hard because, to most of us, Bruce Willis is John McClane. Growing up and watching Die Hard on television every Christmas, it was very easy to assume that Willis probably spent all of his spare time fighting terrorists and coming up with snarky quips. Definitely, it’s difficult to imagine Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the role. What made McClane such a compelling hero was that he wasn’t superhuman. He was just a blue collar guy who hurt his feet, got tired, and had his moments of frustration just like everyone else. He was the relatable action hero. It didn’t matter how many stories that one heard about Bruce Willis having an ego or occasionally being difficult to work with. Bruce Willis was John McClane and, after everything that McClane had been though, he had every right to occasionally be difficult.
You’ll notice that I haven’t really discussed the plot of Die Hard because …. well, everyone knows that plot. I mean, this is one of those films that has such a permanent place in pop cultural history that even people who somehow haven’t seen the film still know what it’s about. John McClane is an NYPD cop who flies to Los Angeles to see his estranged wife, Holly, for Christmas. Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) works for the Nakatomi Corporation. During the company’s Christmas party, terrorists led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman) take over the skyscraper. The terrorists claim to be politically-motivated but, actually, they just want to break into the building’s vault and make off with a lot of money. McClane makes his way through the unfinished skyscraper, killing the terrorists one-by-one. He only has two allies. Al Powell (Reginald VelJohnson) is an LAPD sergeant who is outside the building and who communicates with McClane via radio. Argyle (De’Veroux White) is the friendly limo driver who spends almost the entire siege oblivious in the parking garage. (The first time I ever watched Die Hard, I was so worried something bad would happen to Argyle.)
McClane has a lot of enemies and not all of them are terrorists. The Deputy Chief of the LAPD (Paul Gleason) thinks that McClane is making the situation worse. Two FBI agent, both named Johnson (and played by Robert Davi and Grand L. Bush), seem to view the entire siege as being a game with the older Johnson talking about how much it reminds him of Vietnam. A reporter (William Atherton) makes the situation worse with his on-the-spot reports. Meanwhile, there’s Harry Ellis (Hart Bochner). A coke-addled executive, Ellis actually thinks that he’s helping McClane by trying to negotiate with Gruber. I know that some people can’t stand Ellis but I always feel sorry for him. In his way, he was trying to help and you could tell that he was so proud of himself for not telling Gruber that McClane was in Los Angeles to see Holly.
Needless to say, there’s a lot of action in Die Hard. A lot of people die. One thing that I appreciate the movie is that the bad guys get as upset over their friends and family being killed as McClane gets over Holly being threatening. No one in the film is one-dimensional and even the bad guys have their own distinct personalities. Theo (Clarence Gilyard) gets so excited about the idea of opening the vault that you can’t help but relate. Karl (Alexander Godonuv) appears to be nearly indestructible. Hans Gruber may be totally evil but he has a quick wit and there’s something intriguing about how confident he is. Alan Rickman, famously, was not happy that his first role led to him being typecast as an international villain and one can’t blame him. Still, almost every action movie villain who has followed has owed something to Alan Rickman. Just as it’s difficult to imagine anyone other than Bruce Willis as John McClane, it’s impossible to imagine anyone other than Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber.
(That said, I’m sure there’s another alternate universe out there, right next to the Sinatra universe, where Blade Runner was not as troubled a production as it was and, as a result, Die Hard was made with Ridley Scott directing, Harrison Ford starring as McClane, and Rutger Hauer playing Hans.)
For all of the action, there’s also a lot of moments that make me laugh out loud and I’m not just talking about McClane’s one liners. The two FBI agents don’t get much screentime but Davi and Bush make the most of what they have. Paul Gleason is wonderfully deadpan as the clueless Chief Robinson. Even Rickman gets his share of laughs. “I read about them in Time Magazine” indeed.
Die Hard is a Christmas tradition with my family and a lot of other families as well. Does Die Hard count as a Christmas movie? I would say yes. The terrorists may not respect the holiday but John McClane does. No one ruins McClane’s Christmas!
For tonight’s excursion into televised horror, we present to you the 13th episode of the 4th season of HBO’s Tales From The Crypt!
Werewolf Concerto originally aired on September 9th, 1992. It deals with what happens when a group of hotel guests believe that there might be a werewolf in the area. Fortunately, Timothy Dalton is also in the area and he claims to be a professional werewolf hunter!
After watching The Spirit of Christmas, it time to continue cleaning out the DVR by watching The Flight Before Christmas. The Flight Before Christmas originally aired on December 5th on the Lifetime network. I was at a Christmas party and I totally missed it.
The Flight Before Christmas is perhaps the epitome of your typical Lifetime holiday movie. Stephanie (Mayim Bialik) has never had much luck in love but things are finally starting to look up! She is planning on moving in with her boyfriend and she has already called her mother and let her know that she won’t be home for Christmas this year. But then Stephanie’s boyfriend shows up and says that he’s changed his mind. Not only will they not be moving in together but he wants to break up as well.
That’s it! Stephanie decides. No more love, no more romance, no more risk of heart-break! And, since she’s not going to be having hot, just-moved-in-together-sex this holiday season, she might as well just go back home to Connecticut. She rushes to the airport and manages to get tickets on a flight back home. Also, at the airport, she meets a jolly fat man with a twinkle in his eye. His name is Noel Nichols (and is played by Bill Murray’s older brother, Brian Doyle-Murray) and … well, if you can’t guess what’s going on with Noel Nichols then you really haven’t seen that many Christmas movies.
Meanwhile, Michael Nolan (Ryan McPartin) is on the same flight as Stephanie. Originally, he had seats in first class but, acting out of holiday generosity, he suddenly decides to switch seats with Noel Nichols! (Are you sensing a pattern here?) Michael ends up sitting right next to Stephanie.
Well, immediately, Michael and Stephanie don’t get along and we all know that means that they’re destined to fall in love. However, Michael is flying to Boston so that he can ask his girlfriend, Courtney (Trilby Glover), to marry him. No, Michael, she’s not right for you!
Fortunately, the plane runs into turbulence and is forced to land at the most romantic place on Earth … Bozeman, Montana. Seeing as how they’re going to be stranded for a day or two, Stephanie finds a room at a local Bed and Breakfast. She manages to get the last available room and then, despite claiming not to like him that much, she invites Michael to share the room with her…
Okay, so you’ve read the plot and you already know what’s going to happen. There’s nothing surprising about The Flight Before Christmas but then again, holiday movies aren’t supposed to be surprising. They’re light-hearted and somewhat silly and hopefully, you’ll feel good after you watch one. The Flight Before Christmas is a sweet film that, for me, didn’t quite work. Try as I might, I simply could not imagine Michael and Stephanie as a couple. However, I did think that Brian Doyle-Murray did a great job as Noel Nichols. If I ever meet Santa, I hope he’s just like Brian Doyle-Murray,
(Incidentally, this film ended with a dedication to Mayim Bialik’s father, Barry, who passed away earlier this year. It was a sweetly sincere moment.)
Through the Shattered Lens 