Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.8 “Hot Wheels”

Posted on February 11, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Last night’s review of CHiPs was pre-empted by a sudden storm. Here it is now, in its entirety,

Episode 3.8 “Hot Wheels”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on November 3rd, 1979)

Ponch is still in the hospital, recovering from last week’s accident. Still, because he’s Ponch, he’s the one who figures out that a bunch of disgruntled fireman are using city trucks to commit their jewelry thefts. Hey, wait a minute. Last week’s episode was also about jewelry thefts. Admittedly, CHiPs was a show that tended to recycle plots but, even by CHiPs standards, this is one of those coincidences that leaves you wondering what exactly was going on in the writer’s room.

Actually, it’s easy to guess. Erik Estrada really was injured while filming an episode. The cast that he wears throughout this episode was real and, as easy as it can be to make fun of his overexpressive acting and his tendency to lose his shirt every other scene, you do have to respect that Estrada showed to film this episode at all. With Estrada injured, one gets the feeling that this episode, just like last week’s, was quickly rewritten to cover the situation.

Baker gets a temporary partner in this episode. It’s the return of his former motorcycle mate, John Clayton! Clayton was apparently Baker’s partner before Ponch. Clayton has a reputation for being a practical joker, It’s all anyone can talk about. Clayton is a legendary prankster! They really want us to know that Clayton’s a fun guy before he shows up and we discover that he’s played by Andrew Robinson, the actor who is best-known for playing the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry. Robinson wears a mustache as Clayton, probably in an attempt to keep 1979 audiences from looking at the screen and going, “Hey, I remember that guy hijacking a school bus!”

(I should mention that Andrew Robinson himself was a committed pacifist when he filmed Dirty Harry, to the extent that he actually flinched whenever he had to shoot the killer’s gun and he actually traumatized himself while filming the school bus hijack. He actually sounds like a pretty nice guy who just happened to play one of the most loathsome screen villains of all time.)

Baker works with Clayton and it must be said that Larry Wilcox does seem to be noticeably happier when he’s acting opposite Robinson than he ever did when he was acting opposite Estrada. The episode features Clayton performing a heroic and dangerous rescue at one point and it’s easy to see that that scene was originally conceived with Estrada in mind. It’s also easy to imagine Estrada flashing his big grin at the end of the scene while Robinson, on the other hand, plays up the fact that anyone, even a dedicated cop, would be absolutely exhausted after all that.

Robinson does a good job as Clayton and it’s always fun to see Martin Kove play a villain on show like this. This was a good episode. Estrada, I assume, will be back on his bike next week.

A Pre-empted Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.17 “Return of the Supercycle”

Posted on February 4, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sorry, last night’s review of CHiPs was pre-empted by my own need to get some rest after spending the previous few days dealing with the worst sinus pain ever. (Well, maybe not ever but it was still pretty bad….) Here’s last night’s episode of CHiPs, just a few hours late! Regularly scheduled programming will resume soon.

Episode 3.17 “Return of the Supercycle”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on October 27th, 1979)

The Supercycle is back! A thief on a supercharged motorcycle is robbing jewelry storefronts. Baker takes the old Highway Patrol Supercycle out of storage so that he can go after the new Supercycle. Baker suspects that the Roy Yarnell (George O’Hanlon, Jr) might be up to his old Supercycle tricks again but it turns out that Roy is innocent. Instead, it’s his mechanic.

In other words: SUPERCYCLE SUPERCYCLE SUPERCYCLE!

Ponch spends the majority of this episode in a hospital bed. Early on in the episode, Ponch crashes his motorcycle while chasing the new Supercycle and seriously injures himself. Apparently, the crash was real and Estrada actually did injure himself. Watching the episode, it’s easy to see that the show dealt with Estrada’s injuries by just giving all of Ponch’s lines to Baker. For once, Baker is the one who bends the rules and gets to do all the cool stuff. He even gets to romance a visiting member of the Highway Patrol, Kathy Mulligan (Anne Lockhart). In any other episode, Ponch would have been the one doing all of that so it’s interesting to get to see Baker actually get to have a life for once. And yes, before anyone asks, Estrada finds an excuse to remove his shirt even when he’s relaxing in a hospital bed. No hospital gowns for Estrada!

The sad thing is that Larry Wilcox was definitely a better actor than Erik Estrada and he also looked a lot more believable on a motorcycle. But, this episode shows that Estrada just had more screen presence. As easy as it is to make fun of Ponch, Estrada’s over-the-top displays of vanity were often just what CHiPs needed. Estrada may not have been a great actor but he amusing to watch. Wilcox has a much more laid back presence. He’s a believable cop but he’s just not as much fun to watch as Estrada.

Probably the most amusing thing about this episode is that, when Estrada (or his stuntman pretending to be Estrada) is lying on the pavement, Wilcox cannot bring himself to really act convincingly concerned or worried. CHiPs is a bit infamous for the fact that Larry Wilcox and Erik Estrada did not have a great working relationship. That’s all I could think about as I watched Baker casually step over Ponch’s prone form on the street.

Anyway, this episode has some spectacular motorcycle jumps and some good chase footage. There was an occasionally amusing subplot where the men of the Highway Patrol worried that Kathy was reporting their behavior to Sacramento. (Grossman, played by the invaluable Paul Linke, made me laugh with his sudden emphasis on doing everything by the book.) The Supercycle was cool. Everyone should have one.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.6 “Counterfeit”

Posted on January 27, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Tonight’s episode is weird.

Episode 3.6 “Counterfeit”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 20th, 1979)

Ponch is shocked to discover that he’s carrying several counterfeit twenties. He turns the money into the Treasure Department, hoping that it will mean receiving an monetary award. Instead, he’s told that his reward is helping the government crack down on the bad guys. Ha! Take that, Ponch!

That said, you better believe that Ponch is there to help arrest the counterfeiters, who turn out to be a bunch of phony preachers working out of a church. I know that sounds like the sort of thing that could be interesting. But, for the most part, these guys are still just generic CHiPs bad guys, even if one of them is played by veteran screen tough guy Ralph Meeker.

Meanwhile, Ponch goes on a date with a woman and is upset when it appears that she’s shallow and doesn’t want to talk about anything that is the least bit intellectual. That’s our, Ponch! He’s never shallow! Fortunately, it turns out that his date isn’t shallow either. She was just pretending to be shallow to test whether or not Ponch was shallow. And now, it’s time to dance! Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sense. Ponch — when are you going to settle down? Disco isn’t going to last forever.

While that’s going on, architect James O’Hara (played by veteran dwarf actor Billy Barty) becomes frustrated with people assuming that he can’t drive because of his size. He gets tired of all the dumb jokes and the condescending remarks. As a result, he keeps getting into minor accident whenever he drives on the highway. This was a strange storyline, largely because O’Hara’s scenes made up over half the episode despite the fact that he had never appeared on the show before and he barely interacted with the members of the Highway Patrol. A part of me wonders if maybe this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a series about James O’Hara. The other weird thing about this episode is that O’Hara’s frustration over people making fun of his height was often played for laughs. The whole thing just felt well-intentioned but oddly tone deaf.

If you’re keeping track, this episode had two Ponch storylines and a storyline about a guy we had never seen before. Sorry, Baker! If we had any doubts about who was the favored partner as far as this show goes, this episode erased them.

This whole episode just felt weird. On the plus side, there was a lot of nice California scenery and there were quite a few accidents, which is the main reason why most people would have been watching the show in the first place. But this episode really is an example of how a show can get bogged down with a character that we’ve never seen before and that we’ll probably never see again. The episode just never comes together.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.5 “Death Watch”

Posted on January 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, someone dies! OH MY GOD!

Episode 3.5 “Death Watch”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 13th, 1979)

Dennis (Christopher Stone) is a veteran movie stunt driver who has never gotten over the tragic death of his child and the way he was treated by a heartless insurance company. He now drives up and down the freeway, looking for drivers who look like they have good insurance. Using his stunt skills, he causes accidents and then, under one of many assumed names, he files an insurance claim. Dennis’s wife (played by Dee Wallace, who was married to Stone at the time) thinks that Dennis is taking things too far but Dennis is convinced that he’s earned the right to commit insurance fraud. As he puts it, the companies have enough money that it’s not going to hurt them if he steals some of it.

Unfortunately, his latest attempt to cause an accident results in a delivery van swerving to the side of the road and striking two policemen who have pulled over a drunk driver. One of the policeman is series regular Bear (played by Brodie Greer). The other is a guy named Steve (Stephen Parr) who we’ve never seen before but who is quickly established as being everyone’s best friend. Or, I guess, he was everyone’s best friend as he dies shortly after being taken to the hospital. I have to admit that Steve dying was a bit jarring. It’s rare that anyone on CHiPs is seriously injured, much less killed.

The highway patrol officers are shaken by Steve’s death. Ponch and Baker go to the station’s gym and work off their frustration. Jon lifts weights. Ponch takes off his shirt and starts hitting a punching bag and, despite the tragedy of the situation, it was hard not to laugh at the show using it as an excuse for Erik Estrada to once again take off his shirt.

The members of the highway patrol attend Steve’s funeral. It’s pretty somber until Bear rolls into the church in his wheelchair and everyone breaks out into a huge smile. They’re happy that Bear survived but I do have to wonder how Steve’s family felt when they saw all those smiles and heard the officers joking amongst themselves. I guess they should have been happy that Ponch actually wore pants and a shirt to the funeral as opposed to showing up in a speedo. Seriously, if anyone would do that, it would be Ponch.

All of the bad drivers are brought to justice. The driver of the delivery van loses his job. Dennis goes to prison. By the end of the episode, everyone’s in a good mood again. Rest in peace, Steve!

This episode deserves some credit for trying to deal with a serious issue. Death is a big deal. Unfortunately, CHiPs really isn’t the best format for heart-rendering drama. Even after Steve was killed, the show still teased the audience with the promise of another crash. In the end, the main message seemed to be that it was better to lose Steve than Bear …. or, God forbid, Ponch!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.4 “High Octane”

Posted on January 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, CHiPs deals with the oil crisis!

Episode 3.4 “High Octane”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on October 6th, 1979)

Tonight’s episode of CHiPs is a real history lesson.

The episode was aired at a time when the U.S. was suffering from a shortage of gasoline. Conflict in Iran had led to both the Shah fleeing the country and Americans being taken hostage. Oil production fell, OPEC raised its prices, and people panicked and started to hoard gasoline. Many states instituted odd-even gas rationing, which meant that only people with an odd-numbered license plate could purchase gas on an odd-numbered day and only people with an even-numbered license plate could purchase gas on an even-numbered day. As so often happens when the government attempts to micromanage a crisis, this only made things worse as there were soon long lines at the pump and reports of fights breaking out between people at gas stations. Even with the rationing, many gas stations ran out of gasoline before they could serve every customer. If you didn’t arrive early enough, chances were that you would not be able to put gas in your car,

California was one of the many states to institute odd-even rationing and this episode of CHiPs is all about the battle over gasoline. Two crooks are siphoning gas from independent gas stations and then reselling it to other stations. (Their biggest customer is played by veteran screen tough guy, Aldo Ray.) Getraer is injured when he crashes his bike while chasing the two crooks, which makes this case personal for Ponch and Baker. Meanwhile, Ponch and Baker have to break up fights at the gas station, chase yet another guy who was caught siphoning gas from a car, and save yet another motorist who passes out from the fumes of all the gas cans that he had in the backset of his car. Ponch even starts to date Beth (Ellen Bry), because she works at a gas station and can tell him the best time to show up to make sure that he and Baker are able to fill up their bikes. Meanwhile, at headquarters, Harlan is giving lessons on the best way to keep unused fuel from evaporating.

Of course, it wouldn’t be CHiPs if there wasn’t also a light-hearted sports angle. This week, everyone’s into roller hockey. Ponch serves as the referee for the CHP-sponsored kids’ roller hockey game and everyone agrees that he’s the best referee that they’ve ever seen. And why not? He’s Ponch and, by the time the third season rolled around, CHiPs was definitely The Ponch Show. Later, the adult officer play roller hockey as well. It’s the show’s way of saying, “California’s still fun, even with the gas rationing!”

I enjoyed this episode because I’m a history nerd and it was interesting to see how the show dealt with the 1979 oil crisis while it was occurring. It’s interesting that this episode was a bit cynical about rationing, as CHiPs was usually a show that portrayed the government and its policies as positively as possible. In 1979, even the audiences of CHiPs was fed up with having to pay — let me check my notes to make sure I have this right — nearly a dollar a gallon for gas.

Really? Just 90 cents for a gallon gas? Get me a time machine. I’m going to 1979!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.5 “Career Day”

Posted on December 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jon and, to a lesser extent, Ponch continue to keep the highways safe.

Episode 1.5 “Career Day”

(Dir by Ric Rondell, originally aired on October 20th, 1977)

It’s another crazy week on the California highways. A husband-and-wife team of burglars are driving around in their van and breaking into mansions. Frat boys are stealing hearses and hiding in coffins. A photographer and his models hold up traffic by doing a swimsuit shoot under an overpass. A little child gets lost while walking along the Los Angeles river.

It’s a lot to deal with and somehow, it all falls on Jon and Ponch. This is one of those episodes that leaves you to wonder where all the other members of the highway patrol are. At one point, Sgt. Getraer comments that the highway patrol has 100 motorcycles and that 90 of them are being used. Despite that, it seems like every crime and accident seems to happen just a mile or two away from wherever Jon and Ponch happen to be. Occasionally, Bear (played by Brodie Greer) shows up in his police car but he always seems to wait until Ponch and Jon have already caught the bad guys.

This episode, Ponch once again damages his motorcycle by not parking it correctly. (The motorcycle falls over and a bunch of a teenagers point and laugh. Take that, Ponch!) Getraer puts Ponch on desk duty but then a helicopter cop says that he needs someone to fly with him. Ponch gets to go up in a police helicopter and help search for the missing child. Baker, who is perfect and therefore, still has his motorcycle, is the one who actually retrieves the child and takes him home but Ponch gets to ride in a helicopter. Seriously, I’ve been in a helicopter a few times and, once you get used to all the shaking and get over your fear of heights, it’s pretty fun. I guess it’s a good thing, for Ponch, that he is such an incompetent highway patrolman that he can’t even park his own bike.

This episode could best be described as a “week-in-the-life” episode as it follows Ponch and Jon as they deal with all the weird things that happen on the Los Angeles highway. The burglars bookmarked the episode, showing up at the start and then again at the end, so that they could be chased down by Ponch and Jon. That said, the closest thing that this episode had to a real storyline was the result of Ponch pulling over his old high school principal (played by the very familiar character actor, Richard Deacon) and being asked to speak at his school’s career day. The principal seems to believe that if Ponch can actually stay out of jail and become an authority figure, there’s a chance for everyone! Of course, when it’s time to give his speech, Ponch freezes up and Jon has to act like his hype man. Eventually, Ponch finds the courage to speak and turns out to be such a blowhard that the entire student body gets bored. Indeed, as Ponch brags on himself, the line between character and actor becomes rather blurred. Erik Estrada is not the world’s most subtle actor but he’s entertaining in the right role.

As with all of the previous episodes, the real star here was the California scenery. The mountains and the blue skies were inviting, no matter how dangerous the highways might have been.

A Movie A Day #117: Shadow Hours (2000, directed by Isaac H. Eaton)

Posted on May 4, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Straight from the direct-to-video graveyard comes this journey through the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles. Michael Holloway (Balthazar Getty) used to drink every hour and snort cocaine every night. That was the past. Now, he is clean and sober. Michael is married to Chloe (Rebecca Gayheart) and they have a baby on the way. In desperate need of money to support his family, Michael gets a job working the night shift at a 24-hour gas station. Most of his customers are the scum of the Earth until, one night, Stuart Chappell (Peter Weller) steps into the station. Stuart claims to be a writer and he hires Michael to accompany him on an exploration of the dark side of L.A. They start with strip bars and then eventually move on to fight clubs and BDSM parlors. Everywhere they go, Stuart is recognized but everyone knows him by a different name. Soon, Michael is not only drinking and doing drugs again but he is also the prime suspect in a murder.

Shadow Hours is a dumb but entertaining vision of Los Angeles as Hades. It has loads of atmosphere but it’s all taken from other movies, a hint of Taxi Driver there and a pinch of 8mm here. The film’s main weakness is that it stars Balthazar Getty, who, as an actor, has the least sympathetic screen presence this side of Edward Furlong. Even if Getty was playing a paraplegic veteran who had devoted his life to finding good homes for stray puppies, he would still come across as unlikable. Make him a loser who spend most of the movie lying to his pregnant wife and it is impossible to care what happens to Michael. The film’s main strength is that it also stars Peter Weller, who is pitch perfect as the mysterious Stuart, who might be the Devil. If the whole movie had just been Peter Weller going to bars and fight clubs and hanging out with Lydia Lunch, Shadow Hours would have been a B masterpiece. It’s too bad he had to take an oil heir with him.

Ted 2 Sucks!

Posted on June 27, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, I think the title of this review pretty succinctly sums up my reaction to Seth McFarlane’s latest film, Ted 2. Thanks for reading and have a good…

Oh, really?

Okay, I’ve been told that I have to try to think up at least 300 words to say about Ted 2. Otherwise, in the eyes of Rotten Tomatoes, we’re not a legitimate film blog.

*sigh*

Okay.

Anyway, Ted 2 is the story of a talking teddy bear (voice by Seth McFarlane) who likes to smoke weed and … well, that’s about it. He’s just gotten married to Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) and they’re having trouble because Tami-Lynn wants a baby but Ted, being a teddy bear, doesn’t have any reproductive organs. So, he and his friend John (Mark Wahlberg) decide to give Tom Brady a handjob so they can still his sperm. But, it turns out, none of that was important because the state of Massachusetts claims that Ted is not even a person. Instead, he’s just “property.” So, now, John and Ted and their lawyer, Sam (Amanda Seyfried), are fighting the courts to win Ted his civil rights. And then Giovanni Ribisi wants to kidnap Ted and Morgan Freeman shows up and says a few words. And the film is narrated by Patrick Stewart because it’s funny to hear Patrick Stewart curse and…

Oh! And Liam Neeson shows up. He’s a customer at the store where Ted works as a cashier. Liam wants to know if Trix are only for kids. The joke here is that it’s Liam Neeson and he’s asking about cereal. Ha ha.

Oh! And there’s two guys who shows up at New York Comic Con so that they can beat up “nerds.” During every scene set at Comic Con, they’re in the background beating people up and insulting them. And the two guys are gay! See, they’re bullies and they’re gay! And they’re beating up random people at Comic Con, just because they can! Hilarious, right?

Ted 2 spends a lot of time trying to convince us that Ted’s struggle to be recognized as a person is actually meant to be a metaphor for the American civil rights movement. But, honestly, I get the feeling that McFarlane relates more to the bullies than he does to any oppressed minority. As he previously proved with his TV shows and A Million Ways To Die In The West, McFarlane is only interested in going after easy targets. He’s your typical white male hipster who thinks that, because he voted for Obama, he can get away with telling racist jokes.

And, before anyone misunderstands, I wouldn’t mind McFarlane’s humor if it was at least funny or original. But instead, it’s the same stupid jokes that he always tells. Seth McFarlane’s comedic technique is to basically drag things out until viewers laugh from pure exhaustion. Is it effective? Well, there are people who continue to praise and defend him and Seth certainly has made a lot of money off of his act. So, obviously, there are people who respond to this. But to me, Seth McFarlane’s humor just feels lazy.

Ted 2 lasts 128 minutes. That’s over two hours devoted to a concept that feels more appropriate for a five-minute skit. Interesting enough, the first Ted was tolerable because it focused on Mark Wahlberg’s Johnny. Ted was just a supporting character and he worked as a metaphor for Johnny’s struggle to choose between growing up or being a happy slacker. (The first Ted was all about Johnny falling in love with Mila Kunis, whose character is rather cruelly dismissed at the start of Ted 2.) In Ted 2, Ted is the central character and once you get over the fact that he’s a teddy bear who drops multiple F bombs, there’s really not much to the character. It helps, of course, that we only have to listen to McFarlane. We don’t have to look at his imminently punchable, oddly lineless face. But, to be honest, even McFarlane’s voice has become grating. It’s just so self-satisfied and smug.

I saw Ted 2 with the blogger also known as Jedadiah Leland. Over the course of 128 ~~hours~~ minutes (it just felt like hours), we each laughed once. Not surprisingly, both laughs were inspired by Wahlberg’s dumb-but-sweet performance. Now, I will admit that the rest of the audience laughed a bit more than we did. But still, there was a definite atmosphere of resignation in the theater. You could literally hear the people thinking, “Oh, Ted just made a joke about black people. Better laugh now so everyone knows that I get whatever the Hell this is supposed to be. After all, those tickets weren’t free…”

What’s the word count now?

758?

Cool.

That’s enough words for me to say, “Ted 2 sucks!”