Tag Archives: Marg Helgenberger

Brad reviews THE COWBOY WAY (1994), starring Woody Harrelson and Kiefer Sutherland!

Posted on by Bradley Crain

Happy 59th birthday, Kiefer Sutherland!

Sutherland portrayed my favorite TV character of all time, when he spent 8 seasons playing Jack Bauer in my favorite TV series of all time, 24. Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) gave him a solid run for his money when I got around to watching the JUSTIFIED series a few years back, but I still believe Bauer edges him out. Another of my favorite shows when I was growing up was CHEERS. And a big reason for that is Woody Harrelson. CHEERS ran from 1982-1993, so when it started I was nine and when it ended I was twenty. I literally grew up on the show. I thought Harrelson’s portrayal of the dim-witted, but lovable and sweet character, Woody Boyd, was so funny. I remember being happy when he started making movies and had some solid success. I’ve always enjoyed THE COWBOY WAY, the film that teamed up Harrelson and Sutherland, so I decided to revisit the 1994 action-comedy on Kiefer’s special day. 

IN THE COWBOY WAY, Woody Harrelson plays the somewhat dim-witted and overwhelmingly carefree Pepper Lewis, while Kiefer Sutherland plays the more responsible and extremely serious Sonny Gilstrap, two lifelong friends and rodeo champions from New Mexico. The story kicks off when their long-time friend Nacho Salazar (Joaquin Martinez) disappears after going to New York City to pick up his daughter Teresa (Cara Buono), who has been smuggled into the U.S. from Cuba. Pepper and Sonny decide to head to the big city themselves to track down Nacho, and soon find themselves taking on the murderous human trafficker, John Stark (Dylan McDermott), who murdered Nacho and is forcing his daughter to work in a sweatshop. With only their country boy common sense (well at least Sonny’s), their exceptional rodeo skills, and the help of an empathetic NY cop ((Ernie Hudson), Pepper and Sonny will do whatever it takes to find out what happened to Nacho and save his daughter from a life of modern day slavery.

THE COWBOY WAY is silly and unrealistic at times, with shifts in tone that will make your head spin, but I still love it anyway. This type of action-comedy was commonplace in the 80’s and 90’s, but you don’t see movies like this much anymore. I’ll admit that my personal nostalgia, as well as my lifelong appreciation of Sutherland and Harrelson, plays into my enjoyment of the film. It’s a movie that leans into the once popular formula of outsiders from the country being looked down upon by city slickers, and then proving themselves to be more than capable. Think CROCODILE DUNDEE, but without the romance. This is the kind of movie that is trying its best to give us a good time for our box office dollars. Many in Hollywood have forgotten how to entertain, and it’s such a breath of fresh air to watch movies that exist solely for that purpose, even when they’re not perfect. 

As is often the case for me, the cast of THE COWBOY WAY plays a big factor in my enjoyment of the movie. Woody Harrelson is certainly over the top as the irresponsible New Mexico cowboy, but he’s also funny at times and more than capable of handling the action scenes. Kiefer Sutherland’s cowboy is the exact opposite, he’s serious, extremely responsible, and very capable. If nothing else, he needs Harrelson’s character in his life to help him remove the stick from his ass at times! Ultimately, it’s their relationship and banter that carries the film for me. Dylan McDermott is good as the sleazy villain, but if you’ve seen many 80’s and 90’s action movies, he’s pretty much exactly what you’d expect. As a fan of spaghetti westerns, I also enjoyed seeing the genre stalwart Tomas Milian pop up as McDermott’s soon-to-be ex-boss. It’s not a big role but this movie buff appreciated it. Finally, Ernie Hudson is just so likable as the kind-hearted and helpful horse-mounted cop. I like to think that he and Kiefer’s character kept a John McClane / Sgt. Al Powell type relationship going after the events of the movie.

Ultimately, in my opinion, THE COWBOY WAY may not be a great movie by critical standards, but it is a fun movie. If you’re in the mood for 90’s era action-comedy, featuring a great cast, fun stunts (e.g. men on horseback taking on New York City traffic), and a little Travis Tritt on the soundtrack, then you’ll probably have a good time with this one. 

Dream On: After Midnight (1989, directed by Jim and Ken Wheat)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Prof. Edward Derek (Ramy Zada) teaches a class called The Psychology Of Fear.  He claims that the things that most scare us are the things that we can believe in.  (To quote the observers from the peanut gallery, “No shit, Sherlock.”)  After Prof. Derek demonstrates fear by pulling out a fake gun and pretending to kill himself, a jock ends up pissing himself and the class is suspended.  Fortunately, Prof. Derek has a backup plan.  He invites his students to his house, where he tells them three horror stories that are all designed to prove that the scariest things are the things that could actually happen in real life.

What does Prof. Derek believe to be scary?

In the first story, it’s scary when your wife decides that the perfect way to throw a surprise party would be to trick you into thinking that you’re trapped in a haunted house and you’re going to die if you don’t start chopping off some heads.

In the second story, it’s scary when a group of girls take a wrong turn, piss off the wrong gas station attendant, and end up getting chased by pack of killer dogs.

In the third story, it’s scary with an answering service operator (played by a pre-CSI Marg Helgenberger) starts getting calls from a psycho.

None of the three stories are really that scary but the first story does have a twist ending that would have made EC Comics proud.  The third story is the best, if just because it focuses on one character and that character is played by Marg Helgenberger.  There’s also the wrap-around story involving the professor and his students.  Just when that story’s getting good, it cops out with an ending that you’ll see coming from a mile away.

With the exception of Marg Helgenberger’s segment, After Midnight is a largely forgettable horror anthology film that will be best appreciated by viewers who are nostalgic for 80s fashion and cheap special effects.

A Movie A Day #311: Crooked Hearts (1991, directed by Michael Bortman)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

“The family is like a drug and we’re all junkies.”  So says Charley Warner (Vincent D’Onofrio), one of the many pissed off people at the center of Crooked Hearts.

Crooked Hearts is narrated by Charley’s younger brother, Tom (Peter Berg).  When Tom drops out of college, he returns home and discovers that Charley is still living with their parents, Edward (Peter Coyote) and Jill (Cindy Pickett).  Charley feels that he can only leave the family if Edward officially kicks him out but Edward refuses to give him the satisfaction of escape.  Instead, Edward throws parties to celebrate his children’s failures, all of which he can recite from memory.  Also caught up in this mess are the two youngest children, Ask (Noah Wyle) and Cassie (Juliette Lewis).  Cassie is narcoleptic and Ask has a list of very important rules that everyone must follow to be happy, including always making sure that your socks match your shirt.  By the end of the movie, one brother has set his own house on fire and another one is mercifully dead.

Tolstoy once said, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way,” but he never got to see Crooked Hearts, a movie where everyone is unhappy in the most predictable way possible.  Aside from an overbaked script and underbaked director, Crooked Hearts does feature good performances from Peter Coyote and Vincent D’Onofrio but Peter Berg is boring as the monotonous narrator and Noah Wyle tries too hard to be eccentric.  I watched Crooked Hearts because Jennifer Jason Leigh was in it but Leigh’s role was small and could have just as easily been played by Mary Stuart Masterson, Penelope Ann Miller, Mary-Louise Parker or any of the other three-name actresses of the early 90s.  Family may be addictive but this movie is not.

Quickie Horror Review: Species (dir. by Roger Donaldson)

Posted on by Arleigh

1995’s Species was a studio’s attempt to replicate the start of a new sci-fi/horror franchise like the one begun by Ridley Scott’s Alien. Roger Donaldson was tapped to direct this attempt with a cast that included Sir Ben Kingsley, Michael Madsen, Marge Helgenberger, Forrest Whitaker and Alfred Molina. The lucky gal who gets to play the role of Sil — the half-alien, half-human hybrid — fell on the stunning and gorgeous shoulders of Natasha Henstridge.

Species pulls from so many different sci-fi/horror films and shows from the past that it’s hard to find anything original in the story. There’s stuff from Alien, The Hidden, and even some episodes of The X-Files. The one original twist in this derivate film was the plot of an alien race sending over the genetic markers of its race and instructions on how to recombine it with human DNA to create a form of hybrid. Why the scientists decided to go through with such a seemingly dangerous task is known only to the writer who put pen to paper to create the screenplay. The bulk of the film’s story comes from one the creation of one such human-alien hybrid named Sil (the young version played by Michelle Williams in one of her very first roles) and how her creators and handlers begin to realize that she has an almost desperate need to procreate.

The acting by the select group of experts (Madsen, Helgenberger, Molina, Kingsley and Whitaker) were good enough and no one embarrassed themselves in the end. Henstridge does a fine job of being sexy and hot. It helped that she pretty much was naked through most of the film, or at least put herself in situations to be naked. In fact, Henstridge goes beyond just being the naked eye candy in the film, but does a great job playing the naive adult Sil who escapes her lab-prison as her instincts propel her to find the perfect mate. It’s during this search that much of the film’s gore make their appearance and there’s a bit of it.

The art design of Sil as the evolved alien hybrid came courtesy of the great Swiss surrealist, H.R. Giger who also did the design for the alien creature in Alien. Giger’s biomechanical designs have always been disturbing and beautiful at the same time and he didn’t disappoint with his design of Sil. If there was a quibble on Sil’s final design it was that it still resembled a bit too much of the alien design in Ridley Scott’s Alien. But it was still great to see H.R. Giger still creating such wonderful artwork and designs for people to see. His popularity has always been mostly composed of the elite circles of the artworld and those small, loyal art groups with a penchant for the surreal, weird and disturbing.

In the end, Species was a good sci-fi/horror that didn’t bore too much and for those who enjoy their gore this film had its equal share of the red stuff. Gratuitious nudity and sex from Natasha Henstridge as Sil the alien hybrid and the excellent designs from H.R. Giger gives this film enough good things to look at. It doesn’t bring anything new and pretty much reuses alot of other things from other movies, but Species was good enough albeit derivative of better past films and shows.