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Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman
Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.22 “The Pirate’s Promise”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, there’s something in the fog! Can Micki and Ryan stop the horror of the thing in the fog? FOG!
Episode 1.22 “The Pirate’s Promise”
(Dir by Bill Corcoran, originally aired on June 27th, 1988)
In the 18th century, a group of pirates killed their captain, Angus McBride, and stole his treasure. They used the money to start a seaside village in New England and to become respectable citizens. Over two hundred years later, the spirit of Captain McBride is hanging out in the fog and desiring vengeance on the descendants of his crew.
Hmmm …. this sounds familiar.
This episode has more than a little in common with John Carpenter’s The Fog. This time, as opposed to it being the result of an anniversary curse, it’s a crazed lighthouse keeper named Joe Fenton (Cedric Smith) who summons the ghost of Captain McBride with a cursed foghorn but otherwise, much of the plot and the show’s imagery feels as if it was lifted directly from Carpenter’s classic horror film. Captain McBride emerges from the fog several times during the episode. He kills his victim’s with a hook and then tosses a few coins at Joe.
Micki and Ryan show up in town to retrieve the foghorn. (This is another episode in which Jack is not present.) It’s interesting how these cursed antiques often tend to end up in small towns, like the one in this episode or The Quilt of Hathor. The previous few episodes featured Ryan having to say goodbye to someone as a result of a cursed item. This time, it’s Micki whose heart is broken when the sweet proprietor of the local history museum is stabbed with a saber while trying to protect her. The episode ends with Micki sobbing while Ryan tries to comfort her, which is quite a change from how these things usually go. For once, Micki is the one who gets to show emotion while Ryan is the one who takes a more pragmatic approach to dealing with the horrors of the cured antiques.
As for the episode, it wasn’t bad. Director Bill Corcoran did a good job of creating a properly ominous atmosphere and Cedric Smith was perfectly creepy as the evil lighthouse owner. The low-budget was evident by the fact that the time itself seemed to be nearly deserted. Even though the town was described as being small, it still seems like it should have been home to more than just a handful of people and I found myself wondering if maybe the show decided to save money by not hiring extras. That minor quibble aside, this was an effective episode as long as you were willing to overlook the plot’s similarity to Carpenter’s film.
Next week, hopefully, Jack will come back and maybe Micki will have cheered up. Someone likeable dies in every episode so you would think they would be used to it by now.
Retro Television Review: T and T 3.1 “Cracked”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the final season of T and T begins with some changes!
Episode 3.1 “Cracked”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on January 6th, 1990)
The first episode of the third season begins with all new opening credits. We no longer hear about T.S. Turner’s backstory. I guess it no longer matters that Turner was framed for a murder that he didn’t commit and that crusading lawyer Amy Taler got him out and put him in a suit and tie to work as a private investigator.
That’s not all though. Amy herself is no longer listed in the opening credits. Instead, there’s a new T in T & T. Kristina Nicoll joins the cast as “Terri Taler.” Judging by her last name, it’s easy to guess that she is meant to be Amy’s sister. Of course, if the credits didn’t specifically tell you that Terri’s last name is Taler, you wouldn’t have the slightest idea who she was. This episode begins with Terri already well-established as a neighborhood activist and as Turner’s partner. Amy is not even mentioned. It’s as if she just vanished and suddenly, there was Terri.
I have to admit that really bothered me. It’s true that Amy didn’t get to do much during the second season and I can understand why Alex Amini might have wanted to do other things than just stand in the background while Mr. T growled. But Amy was still technically the co-lead and it just feel wrong to not even have someone say, “Hey, what happened to Amy?”
(Joe Casper is also gone without explanation but Joe was never that important of a character to begin with.)
As for the episode itself, the neighborhood is sick of being home to a crack house. While Terri encourages everyone to protest in front of the house and to take pictures of anyone going inside (which sounds like a good way to get some people killed, to be honest), T.S. tracks down the owner of the house and demands that he work with the police to get the crack dealers out of there. T.S even goes undercover as a drug dealer so that he can get into the house himself….
Seriously, in what world, could Mr. T ever go undercover? I mean, even in-universe, it’s established that T.S. is one of the people protesting the crack house. How are the dealers not going to recognize T.S. Turner? And before anyone says it’s because they’re smoking crack, let me just say that I have some doubts as to whether or not they actually were using that house as a crack house. Seriously, it was the neatest and cleanest crack house that I’ve ever seen.
(Not that I’ve seen many crack houses, mind you. I once lived across the street from someone who stole copper wiring for a living and his house was a mess so I assume a crack house would be even worse.)
Eh. The third and final season is not off to a great start, you all. Hopefully, next week, we’ll get an explanation as to why there’s now a different T in T and T.
Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix For War-Gods of the Deep!
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, we’ve got the Vincent Price classic, 1965’s War-Gods of the Deep!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
War-Gods of the Deep is available on Prime and YouTube! See you there!
Music Video of the Day: Spiraling Out by Softcult (2024, dir by Mercedes Arn-Horn)
Go for a spin with today’s music video of the day!
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!
This week, Highway to Heaven begins its second season with a two-part episode.
Episodes 2.1 and 2.2 “A Song For Jason”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 18th and September 25th, 1985)
Well, this is certainly a tear jerker.
The two-part second season opener of Highway to Heaven finds Jonathan and Mark assigned to work at Camp Good Times, an actual summer camp for children who have cancer. And while Jonathan is, as usual, enthusiastic about the assignment, Mark responds by begging to be allowed to sit this one out. Jonathan’s response is to tell Mark to stop feeling sorry for himself and to help the kids. Mark starts to walk away from his friendship with Jonathan until he runs into one of the kids, Jason (Joshua John Miller, whose best-known work as an actor might be as the scary child vampire in Near Dark). Jason basically repeats the same thing that Jonathan said, telling Mark that he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself. Mark realizes that if a kid like Jason can be brave in the face of cancer then the least Mark can do is spend a summer as a camp counselor.
(Adding a bit of poignance to all this is that both Victor French and Michael Landon would die of cancer five years after this episode aired.)
Jason is the son of rock star Miki Winner (Barry Williams — yes, Greg Brady). Miki is always finding excuse not to spend any time with his sick son. Maybe Jonathan can change his mind.
But that’s not all!
Curtis (played by a ten year-old Giovanni Ribisi in his acting debut) is scared to death to go outside, a result of his overprotective mother (Robin Riker) constantly harping on the fact that he could die at any minute. Can Jonathan help Curtis have fun while encouraging his mom to let Curtis be a kid?
Teenage jock Gary (Brian Lane Green) has bone cancer and might lose his leg. Can he got over his bitterness and get a date with camp counselor Trish (Jill Carroll)?
And will Mark finally realize that there is hope to be found in even the most dire of situations?
(The answer to all of that is yes but you probably already guessed that.)
Even by the standards of Highway to Heaven, this episode was a bit heavy-handed, without a subtle moment to be found. Barry Williams is as unconvincing a rock star here as he was on The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Some of the kids were better actors than others. It’s also hard not to feel that the story could have been told in just one episode. The first part, especially, feels a bit padded. That said, it all still brought tears to my mismatched eyes because, seriously, how couldn’t it? This is one of those episodes where the show’s earnestness and sincerity really worked to its advantage. The episode is so heartfelt that it feels rather churlish to be too nit-picky about it. In the end, flaws and all, the episode works.
Add to that, if you can’t enjoy the scene where Jonathan disguises himself as a barber and shaves a bully’s head, I don’t know what to tell you.
Retro Television Review: Changing Patterns 1.1 “Pilot”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Changing Patterns, which aired on CBS in 1987. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, Valerie Perrine and Brenda Vaccaro are changing patterns!
Episode 1.1 “Pilot”
(Dir by Linda Day, originally aired on June 26th, 1987)
Molly (Oscar nominee Valerie Perrine) and Maxine (Oscar nominee Brenda Vacarro) are two housewives who lives in the suburbs. Molly’s husband (Alex Rocco) is an old friend of Maxine’s husband (Robert S. Woods). Maxine’s husband makes smoothies in the blender. Molly’s husband likes to play golf. They made a fortune in the tire business but now, they’re both retired and ready to support Maxine and Molly’s dream. What a wacky group of neighbors.
Molly and Maxine are trying to break into the fashion industry. Since this the 80s, all of their designs feature shoulder pads and none of them look like they would, in any way, flatter the figure of anyone under the age of 57. Despite having never sold a design and presumably having never made any money from their career, Molly and Maxine have a store in the mall and they’re able to employ a professional cutter (Eric Christmas).
When Steve Ballinger (George DelHoyo), a buyer from Sacks, steps into their store, he’s impressed with their work. He wants to buy some of their hideous designs. But — uh oh! — he also mentions that he would like to set Maxine up with a single friend of his. Molly and Maxine assume that Steve is talking about himself and, eager to make a sale, they don’t reveal that Maxine is married.
Molly and Maxine lie to their husbands and then meet Steve for dinner. Steve shows up with his wife! And his single friend, Jim (Hugh Maguire). When Molly and Maxine thought that Steve was interested in Maxine himself, they thought he was being sleazy. But when they discover that Steve just wants to Maxine to hook up with his friend, they think it’s charming. Either way, it doesn’t really seem that professional on Steve’s part. I, honestly, was expecting Steve to be revealed to be a big liar. I mean, do buyers of major stores really walk around the strip mall? Not to mention that none of Molly and Maxine’s designs were actually any good or, in any way, unique. Steve might soon be out of a job.
Anyway, Maxine reveals that she is married and everyone has a good laugh over the misunderstanding. Then Molly and Maxine go home and have a second dinner with their husbands, who are both amazingly forgiving of the whole lying thing. I mean, Alex Rocco was Moe Greene. There’s just something weird about seeing him play such a wimpy character.
You can probably guess that this was the only episode of Changing Patterns. The show had a number of problems, including a laugh track that went off even when nothing funny was happening. The main problem, though, is that Molly and Maxine were pretty much interchangeable. They both had the same personality, the same outlook, the same ambitions, and the same sense of humor. That might work for a friendship but, for a television show, it means that there’s not enough conflict to keep things interesting. For Changing Patterns to succeed, it would have needed to change its own patterns.
Music Video of the Day: Left On Mars by Marko Hietala (2024, dir by Ville Lipiäinen)
Today’s music video of the day comes to us from Mars!
…. And Finland.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.24 “La Strega”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, the first season of Monsters come to an end.
Episode 1.24 “La Strega”
(Dir by Lizzie Borden, originally aired on May 27th, 1989)
Vito (a young Rob Morrow) enters a pawn shop shortly before closing. He tells the proprietor, Lia (Linda Blair), that he’s shopping for something for his girlfriend. But, as soon as Lia turns her back, Vito draws a knife and announces that he’s actually come to kill her. Lia, however, has a gun and without flinching, she shoots at the floor. Vito, who is far less calm than Lia, drops the knife.
Lia takes Vito to her apartment above the shop. He tells her that he knows that she’s “La Strega” and that, ten years earlier, she put a curse on his mother (played by Maria Tucci) when she and Lia had a dispute over a ring that his mother brought to the shop. His mother has just died as a result of the curse and Vito wants vengeance.
Lia explains that she’s not a witch and that Vito’s mother’s dispute was actually with Lia’s mother. Lia also suggests that it was Vito’s mother who tried to steal the ring. Lia says that Vito will spend the next two weeks working for her and seeing what type of person she actually is. If, at the end of the two weeks, he still wants to kill her, she’ll accept that it is fate. Vito agrees.
For the next two weeks, Vito works in the shop and lives in Lia’s apartment. (I guess someone else is handling his mother’s funeral.) Vito is haunted by dreams in which both Lia and his mother attempt to seduce him and beg him to kill the other. Vito starts to fall in love with Lia and, as the two weeks come to a close, Lia says that she wants to enjoy what might be her last night on Earth….
Directed by feminist filmmaker Lizzie Borden, this episode ends the first season of Monsters on a rather moody note. Vito is never quite sure whether or not he can trust either Lia or the angry spirit of his mother and, in the end, no one’s motives are really that clear. The episode ends on a rather enigmatic note, which is a polite way of saying that it’s confusing as Hell. That said, Rob Morrow, Maria Tucci, and Linda Blair all give good performances and Borden does a good job of creating an appropriately dream-like atmosphere. In the end, the main impression one takes from this episode is that Vito, for all of his bluster, was essentially just a pawn in a supernatural battle between two powerful women, even if Vito himself wasn’t smart enough to realize it. This episode is not a bad note for the first season to end on.
The first season of Monsters was uneven. When it was good, it was really good. When it was weak, it was really weak. For the most part, though, it was enjoyable and most of the stories were memorably macabre.
Next week, we’ll see if that trend continue as we start the second season of Monsters!
Scene That I Love: M. Emmet Walsh in Blood Simple
The great character actor M. Emmet Walsh passed away yesterday. He was an actor who had a long career, often playing small but important roles. 1985’s Blood Simple brought Walsh one of his few starring roles and today’s scene that I love comes from that film.
In this scene, M. Emmet Walsh’s sleazy private detective meets with bar owner Dan Hedaya and reveals the result of his investigation into whether or not the bar owner’s wife is cheating on him. Blood Simple was the directorial debut of the Coen Brothers and featured Frances McDormand in one of her first starring roles. It also featured M. Emmet Walsh at his best.
Through the Shattered Lens