What Lisa Watched Last Night #123: Til Death Do Us Part (dir by Farhad Mann)

Posted on April 29, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I finally got a chance to watch the latest Lifetime original film, Til Death Do Us Part.

Why Was I Watching It?

I missed this one when it premiered on Lifetime last Saturday because I was busy watching Lake Placid vs. Anaconda on SyFy. Thank God for the DVR!

What Was It About?

It’s yet another Canadian-produced Lifetime movie about a new bride who suspects that her husband might be hiding a deadly secret. Sandra (Haylie Duff) has just married a doctor named Kevin (Ty Olsson). At first, Kevin seems like the perfect man but, after they move to a small town, he starts to reveal a controlling and angry side. Because Sandra has a heart condition, he demands that she constantly take pills. At the same time, his obsessively devoted sister, Jolene (Magda Apanowicz), has literally moved into the house.

When one of Sandra’s coworkers mysteriously dies, Sandra starts to wonder if maybe her husband was somehow involved.

What Worked?

The film’s first hour worked perfectly, largely because it emphasized Sandra’s confusion and her struggle to adjust to being a part of couple. Haylie Duff gave a pretty good performance during this part of the movie and was just unstable enough to allow the viewer to think that maybe — just maybe — everything really was just in her head. Unfortunately, the film sacrificed all hints of ambiguity during the far less satisfying second hour but, for those initial 60 minutes, it was a good and effective thriller.

Ty Olsson and Magda Apanowicz were both well cast as the mysterious husband and his creepy sister. Magda Apanowicz particularly deserves a lot of credit for totally committing herself to her role.

What Did Not Work?

This is one of those films that was great as long as you didn’t know what was going on. As long as the viewer was as confused as Sandra, the film worked. But then, as Kevin’s true nature became more and more obvious, the film itself became less and less interesting. I almost wish that no effort had been made to provide any motivation for either Kevin or his sister. If the two of them had remained enigmas, this film could have been an existential masterpiece as opposed to just being another take on Gaslight.

It was hard not to feel that Sandra could have avoided a lot of her troubles by simply doing a google search on Kevin before agreeing to marry him.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

If and when I do get married, I hope that my wedding will be as fun and as full of dancing as the wedding that opened this film. Seriously, I loved the first 15 minutes of this film because it was all about the wedding!

Lessons Learned

Before getting married, be sure to do a google search.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #122: Deadly Revenge (dir by Michael Feifer)

Posted on April 19, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched Deadly Revenge on Lifetime!

Why Was I Watching It?

Not only was it on Lifetime but it had one of the most perfectly generic Lifetime titles ever. Deadly Revenge sounds like one of the results that you’d get from a random Create-A-Lifetime-Movie-Title Generator.

What Was It About?

Harrison (Mark Hapka) appears to be the perfect guy. He’s got a good job, a great apartment, and he’s a good cook! However, he also has some secrets in his part, as his fiancee, Cate (Alicia Ziegler), discovers when she agrees to take care of Evelyn (Donna Mills), his sick mother.

What Worked?

Actually, this movie really wasn’t that bad. Alicia Ziegler and Donna Mills did the best that they could possibly do. If their characters occasionally didn’t make sense, that had more to do with the script than the performances. As well, I enjoyed seeing where everyone lived. Harrison had a really kickass apartment and Evelyn — oh my God, she practically lived in a freaking castle!

Plus, towards the end of the film, Cate got to wear this white dress that would look great on me. So, there’s always that.

What Did Not Work?

Oh my God, this is such a frustrating movie to try to review! Under the no spoiler rule, I’m not allowed to talk about the solution to the film’s mystery but, at the same time, it’s sooooooo obvious! Seriously, you will figure it out within the first 30 minutes of the film. (You would have figured it out earlier except for the fact that the mystery doesn’t start until about 30 minutes into the film.) I mean, you’re supposed to be shocked when the big secret is revealed but the only shocking thing is that Cate didn’t figure it out for herself. IT WAS SO OBVIOUS!

Like seriously.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I’ve actually recently had a dizzy spell/panic attack while driving so when Cate had the same thing happen to her, I was like, “Oh my God, I know exactly how scary that is!”

I do think I handled it better than Cate though. Cate reacted by calling up her best friend and talking to her on the phone while driving! In my case, however, I quickly pulled over to the side of the road, turned off the engine, and did my breathing exercises for panic attacks.

Lessons Learned

If it seems painfully obvious that someone is trying to kill you, they probably are.

What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #121: If There Be Thorns (dir by Nancy Savoca)

Posted on April 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This afternoon, as I wrote my review of Text To Kill, I was also watching another Lifetime original film. If There Be Thorns had been taking up space on my DVR for a week and I finally had time to watch it!

Why Was I Watching It?

If There Be Thorns originally aired last Sunday but I missed it because I was busy celebrating Easter with my family. However, I made sure to set the DVR because If There Be Thorns is the second sequel to one of my favorite Lifetime films of all time, Flowers in the Attic. The first sequel — Petals in the Wind — wasn’t that good. So, I was curious to see whether or not If There Be Thorns would be an improvement.

What Was It About?

Many years have passed since the end of Petals In The Wind. Christopher (Jason Lewis) and Cathy (Rachel Carpani) Dollanganger are now married and going by the name of Sheffield. In many ways, Christopher and Cathy seem to be living the perfect life. They’re in love. They’ve got two sons, Jory (Jedidiah Goodacre) and Bart (Mason Cook). Chris is a doctor. Cathy is a ballet teacher. And nobody is aware that Cathy and Christopher are actually brother and sister and that they spent several of their formative years locked in an attic together.

Strangely enough, however, Cathy and Chris happen to live next door to the remains of their former prison, Foxworth Hall. Bart even breaks into Foxworth Hall and finds the magazine that so intrigued Cathy and Chris when they were teenagers.

Eventually, a mysterious woman moves into Foxworth Hall and starts trying to ingratiate herself with Jory and especially Bart. What Chris and Cathy don’t know is that the woman is none other than their mother, Corrine (Heather Graham). When Corrine’s creepy servant John Amos (MacKenzie Gray) gives Bart the diary of his puritanical grandfather, Bart starts to go insane and even tries to kill his adopted sister, Cindy. Meanwhile, Corrine seeks forgiveness for her past sins, Cathy and Chris continue to obsess over the attic, and John Amos … well, John Amos just wants to kill everyone.

What Worked?

Oh my God, this movie is insane! As opposed to the slow-moving and bland Petals on the Wind, If There Be Thorns was a return to the over-the-top style that made Flowers In The Attic so much fun to watch. This is one of those films that you just watch with your mouth open, wondering just how much more messed up one family can get. Director Nancy Savoca brought a flair for the surreal to the film and Heather Graham did a good job bringing Corrine to eccentric life.

A special mention should be made of actor MacKenzie Gray, who gave a wonderfully menacing performance as the hulking John Amos. It was a great performance, one that was perfectly right for the film’s baroque style.

What Did Not Work?

Who would have thought that, after everything they had been through, Cathy and Chris would grow up to be such boring people? Hopefully, they’ll be more exciting in the fourth film in the series, Seeds of Yesterday.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

There really weren’t any. I don’t do attics. But that’s okay — it was still an entertainingly weird film!

Lessons Learned

The sins of the past cannot be escaped. (Especially if you insist on living right next door to the place where all those sins happened in the first place…)

What Lisa Watched Last Night #120: Text to Kill (dir by George Erschbamer)

Posted on April 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Canadian-made Lifetime original film, Text to Kill!

Why Was I Watching It?

I was watching both because it was on Lifetime and it was a Canadian production. I love Lifetime and I love Canada.

What Was It About?

High school senior Taylor (Emily Tennant) has a lot to deal with. It’s been two years since her father was killed in a tragic car accident. Her overprotective mother (Dina Meyer) is a cop. Her former best friend, Hannah (Stephanie Bennett), is now her enemy. Her current best friend, Barbara (Sarah Desjardins), is dealing with a secret of her own. And now, out of nowhere, she has started to get threatening texts from someone calling himself “Truth & Lies.”

Who could be behind the evil texts? At first, Taylor suspects that it’s Hannah. But could it be Brandon (Kurt Ostland), the school weirdo? Or maybe it’s Cody (Keenan Tracy), Taylor’s enigmatic new boyfriend who somehow had her number before she ever gave it to him. Or could it be someone else entirely?

What Worked?

Text to Kill was actually a pretty fun little thriller. It kept me guessing, all of the actors gave good performances, and — perhaps most importantly — there was not a single character who didn’t live in a big and tastefully decorated house. (One of the pleasures of watching movies on Lifetime is that you get to see how everyone decorates their home.) Sarah Desjardins especially did a good job in the role of Barbara, bringing a bit of social relevance to what otherwise could have just been a standard Lifetime thriller.

What Did Not Work?

From the minute Text to Kill started, I knew that it was going to be one of those thriller that ended with a totally implausible twist, the type of twist that it’s best not to think too much about. And that’s exactly what happened! Unfortunately, the twist was revealed when there was still 15 minutes of film left to go. That left the audience with 15 minutes to think about how little sense it all made. If the film had waited until the final 7 minutes to reveal that twist, it wouldn’t have been an issue. But 15 minutes is too long an amount of time to know about the twist without thinking about all the unanswered questions and issues raised by it.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to the character of Hannah and I especially admired the fact that she was less scared by the stalker and more just annoyed by all the inconvenience.

Lessons Learned

When your mom’s a cop, there’s nothing you can’t get away with.

What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #119: Killer Crush (dir by Anthony LeFresne)

Posted on April 11, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier this afternoon, I finally got a chance to watch the Lifetime original film Killer Crush.

Why Was I Watching It?

Killer Crush premiered last week but I missed it because I was at Easter Vigil with my family. However, I set the DVR to record the film. Then, I came home and I got wrapped up in doing about a thousand different things at once and it’s only been this afternoon that I finally got a chance to sit down and watch Killer Crush.

What Was It About?

It’s a story as old as the Lifetime network. A mentally disturbed young woman named Paige (Daveigh Chase) develops a crush on one of her professors (Rick Roberts). Paige gets a job working for the professor, taking care of his sick wife (Sydney Penny). Since the film is called Killer Crush, you can probably guess that things don’t go as well as one might hope.

What Worked?

As far as mentally disturbed crush movies are concerned, Killer Crush was pretty good. Rick Roberts and Sydney Penny both made for sympathetic victims. Meanwhile, Daveigh Chase fully committed herself to playing the unstable Paige and even managed to generate some sympathy for her self-destructive character. Director Anthony LeFresne kept the action moving at a good pace. The end result is an above-average, Canadian-made Lifetime film.

What Did Not Work?

As well-made as the film was, it was also rather predictable. As far as Lifetime movies about psychotic obsession are concerned, Killer Crush really didn’t bring anything new to the table.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Paige’s relationship with her sister (Melanie Scrofano). Hopefully, if I’m ever involved in a murder, my sisters will be as concerned as Paige’s sister was.

Lessons Learned

Obsessive crushes never turn out well. Unless, of course, it’s my obsessive crush on James Franco…

What Lisa Watched Last Night #118: Stalked By My Neighbor (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest Lifetime original movie, Stalked By My Neighbor.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, of course, the obvious reason was because it was on Lifetime and I love Lifetime movies. But, even if I wasn’t a Lifetime movie addict, I probably would have watched Stalked By My Neighbor. Stalked By My Neighbor is a great title. Whenever you see a Lifetime movie with the word “Stalk” in the title, you know that it’s going to be a good one.

What Was It About?

It’s a Lifetime homage to Rear Window! Jodi (Kelcie Stranahan) and her mother (Amy Pietz) move to the suburbs. A talented photographer, Jodi is still struggling to deal with the after-effects of a horrifying home invasion. Hiding out in her bedroom, Jodi watches her new neighborhood through the lens of her camera and eventually comes to believe that she may have witnessed the murder of a neighbor (Kelly Packard). While the police suspect that the murderer was the cute boy who lives next door (Grant Harvey), Jodi suspects that it may have actually been the dead woman’s niece (Katrina Norman). Soon, Jodi, camera in hand, is stalking her neighbors and trying to solve the mystery.

What Worked?

Stalked By My Neighbor was directed by Doug Campbell, who earlier this year gave us Sugar Daddies. As I previously stated in my review of Sugar Daddies, Campbell is one of the better filmmakers to regularly make films for Lifetime. (He also directed several of my favorite ….At 17 movies.) Much as he did with Sugar Daddies, Campbell strikes just the right balance between melodrama and realism. As both director and screenwriter, he pushes the story as far as it can go without allowing things to go overboard. The end result is a very entertaining film that is the epitome of why people like me love Lifetime movies.

Kelcie Stranahan was well-cast as Jodi and she had a lot of chemistry with Grant Harvey. As well, she and Amy Pietz were totally believable as mother-and-daughter. Wisely, while the film had a lot of fun with the more melodramatic elements of the mystery plot, Jodi’s PTSD was played totally straight and Stranahan did a great job of capturing Jodi’s fragile mental state. By the end of the film, Jodi is a role model for survivors everywhere.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was Lifetime moviemaking at its best!

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I totally related to the character of Jodi, which is a huge reason why I enjoyed the movie. Towards the end of the film, Jodi had a fight with her mom and ended up getting grounded. Afterward, Jodi made it a point to elaborately apologize and then, as soon as her mom left the room, Jodi was sneaking out the bedroom window. That one scene pretty much epitomized my senior year of high school.

And really, the relationship between Jodi and her mom was the main reason why I loved Stalked By Neighbor. Don’t get me wrong. The mystery was fun. Grant Harvey was cute and the scene where he dances with Jodi was really well done. But ultimately, the film worked for me because I related so much to Jodi and I saw so much of my mom in her mom.

Lessons Learned

If you think you’re neighbor might be a murderer, always make sure you have an extra memory card for your camera. (Seriously, watch the movie. It’ll make sense.)

What Lisa Watched Last Night #117: Wuthering High School (dir by Anthony DiBlasi)

Posted on March 18, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I finally got around to watching the latest film from both Lifetime and the Asylum, Wuthering High School!

Cathy and Heath

Why Was I Watching It?

I was late in watching Wuthering High School. Saturday afternoon, I spent five hours in the Emergency Room, all so I could find out that I have bronchitis. By the time I finally got home, I was so tired that I slept through the Lifetime premiere of Wuthering High School. Fortunately, I did DVR it and yesterday, I finally found the time to watch it.

As to why I was watching it — hey, it’s a modern version of Wuthering Heights that’s set in a high school! And it was produced by the Asylum!

Wuthering Heights, high school, and The Asylum, three of my favorite things.

Seriously, how could I not watch it?

What Was It About?

Wuthering High School is the latest version of Emily Bronte’s classic novel, Wuthering Heights. After his family is deported, Heath (Andrew Jacobs) is adopted by wealthy Mr. Earnshaw (James Caan). Soon, Earnshaw is viewing Heath as being more of a son to him than his biological child, the drug-addicted Lee (Sean Flynn). Meanwhile, Heath has fallen in love with Earnshaw’s daughter, Cathy (Paloma Kwiatkowski). Cathy is struggling to come to terms with the recent death of her mother and soon, she and Heath are skipping school, tearing up school books in slow motion, and getting sentenced to community service. However, when Cathy rejoins the school’s popular clique of mean girls, she starts to grow distant from Heath. While Heath plots his revenge, Cathy is pursued by the well-meaning but ineffectual Eddie Linton (Matthew Boehm).

What Worked?

At its heart, Wuthering High School was definitely a “look at the pretty clothes and look at the pretty houses” type of film. And that’s okay because, ultimately, the clothes and the houses were all very pretty and they were all filmed in very loving detail by director Anthony DiBlasi. At it’s best, Wuthering High School is a pure celebration of melodramatic style.

Modernizing a classic, 19th century novel is always a risky proposition. Setting it in a high school is equally dangerous as well. But I actually liked a few of the ways that Bronte’s story was updated. For instance, I thought it was brilliant to turn the novel’s gambling addicted Hindley Earnshaw into the film’s drug-addicted Lee Earnshaw. As well, transforming gypsy Heathcliff into Heath, the son of a deported illegal immigrant, worked far better than I expected that it would.

Among the supporting cast, Matthew Boehm and Francesca Eastwood were both well-cast. Eastwood, especially, seemed to be having a lot of fun delivering her Mean Girls-style dialogue. (“That’s not the first time you’ve been wet,” she says after pouring a drink on Cathy.) And James Caan brought a lot of gravitas to his role.

And, finally, Paloma Kwiatkowski was well-cast as the angry and outspoken Cathy. Many scenes that should not have worked did work because of Kwiatkowski’s sincere and empathetic performance.

What Did Not Work?

So, with all of those good points that I mentioned above, why wasn’t Wuthering High School as much fun as it should have been? Ultimately, I think the film’s pacing was just a little bit off. Certain scenes moved just a bit too slowly while other scenes were finished too quickly and, as a result, the entire film had an oddly rushed feel to it.

As well, I had some issues with the film’s ending. Obviously, this is going to be a SPOILER so, if you want to be surprised, don’t read any further. *SPOILER BEGINS* Towards the end of Wuthering High School, Cathy chooses to walk out into the ocean and drowns herself while Heath watches. We are then left with a montage of everyone mourning, Heath digging up her grave and curling up next to her in a coffin, and Cathy — speaking to us from beyond the grave — saying that she’s now finally been reunited with her mother. And … seriously? Obviously, Cathy had to die in order to remain true to the spirit of Wuthering Heights but did she have to commit suicide and, even more importantly, did the film have to suggest that she was better off having done so? *SPOILER ENDS*

Finally, of the many actors to have played Heathcliff over the years, Andrew Jacobs was not exactly the most convincing. He came across as being more petulant than passionate.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Oh, I totally related to Cathy. I always do.

Lessons Learned

Avoid the ocean at all costs.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #116: Watch Your Back (dir by Jason Furukawa)

Posted on March 8, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Saturday night, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Watch Your Back!

AnnaLynne McCord is stalked in Watch Your Back. I love the old guy trying not to laugh.

Why Was I Watching It?

I was not in a very good mood on Saturday night, largely because of the fact that I knew I would be losing an hour later that night. Seriously, Daylight Savings Time sucks! What better way to cheer myself up than be watching the latest Lifetime movie?

What Was It About?

Sarah (AnnaLynne McCord) seems as if she has it all. She has a successful career in advertising and an assistant (Darla Taylor) who views her as being a role model. She has a new husband named Kurt (Mark Ghanime) who is an aspiring novelist. Her stepdaughter even calls her “mommy.”

However, one day, Sarah starts to receive photos that someone has been taking of her. However, since the photos are sent using flashchat (not relation to snapchat), the evidence that she’s being stalked is deleted minutes after she sees it. Soon, she realizes that someone has been breaking into her house. Her husband, meanwhile, is tricked into thinking that there’s a bomb in the mailbox.

As Sarah grows more and more paranoid, it starts to become apparent that this is not your average stalking case. Instead, it all links back to a shadowy organization of professional assassins. And, from there, the film just gets stranger and stranger…

What Worked?

So, here’s the thing with this movie: For this first 78 minutes or so, nothing about this film seemed to be working. Sarah came across as being unlikable and stubborn. Her refusal to call the police made it difficult to have any sympathy for her. Add to that, she never seemed to be particularly concerned about anyone who got hurt over the course of the film. At one point, she chased a totally innocent photographer into oncoming traffic. Needless to say, the photographer ended up getting struck by a car and appeared to be on the verge of death. Sarah didn’t seem to feel much guilt about this and I found myself thinking, “Are we actually supposed to like her?” Meanwhile, Kurt came across as being such a wimp that I pretty much found myself not caring about either of them.

But then, during the final 10 minutes of the movie, Watch Your Back goes completely and totally batshit crazy. The film’s “big” twist is so over-the-top and ludicrous that, in its own strange way, it actually manages to redeem almost the entire film. Of course, that doesn’t mean that the twist makes any sense but it certainly is memorable.

And, once the twist is revealed, AnnaLynne McCord’s performance actually starts to make sense. Suddenly, you realize that McCord’s strange performance was actually what was needed to set up the film’s strange ending.

What Did Not Work?

There have been a lot of wimpy husbands in a lot of different Lifetime films but it’s hard to think of any that were as totally wimpy as the character of Kurt. Kurt was nice and sensitive but he was pretty much useless in a crisis. Don’t get me wrong. I love sensitive guys but sometimes, you just need a man to actually be a man.

Also, I could have used an update on what happened to that photographer after Sarah nearly got him killed. The film just kind of abandoned him.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Needless to say, I related to Julie (Darla Taylor), the much put upon administrative assistant. As I watched Julie deal with an increasingly neurotic supervisor, I found myself thinking, “I know that feeling.” When Julie has to deal with Sarah’s paranoid glances and condescending tone, I nodded and said, “Been there.” And when, at the end of the film, when Julie got to deliver a kick ass one liner, I thought to myself, “I better remember that, just in case I ever find myself in the exact same situation.”

Lessons Learned

Since Watch Your Back took place in a weird, batshit crazy universe that had absolutely no relation to our real universe, I can honestly say that I didn’t learn a thing from this movie.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #115: Kept Woman (dir by Michel Poulette)

Posted on February 28, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier, I watched the latest Lifetime original film, Kept Woman!

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, why not? First off, it was on Lifetime. Secondly, the commercials made it look really creepy. Third, I checked on the imdb and I discovered that this film was made in Canada and everyone knows how much I love Canada. And finally, I read a very misleading article on Bustle that insinuated that this film was based on the Ariel Castro case.

What Was It About?

One night, after an evening at the theater, Jessica (Courtney Ford) and her fiancée Evan (Andrew W. Walker) return to their apartment and discover that they’re being robbed by a guy who looks like Jack Black’s younger, thinner brother.

Jessica says, “Enough of this city living! We’re moving to the suburbs!” Evan agrees to use his life savings to purchase a house in the suburbs. It’s here that Jessica will work on her book while skyping with her true crime-obsessed friend Oscar (Jesse Camacho).

From the minute he first shows up and offers them a bottle of wine as a welcoming gift, it’s obvious that there is something off about their new neighbor, Simon (Shaun Benson). For one thing, he dresses like he’s in a community theater production of The Music Man. He’s a professor of Men’s Studies at the local university and, when he comes over for dinner, he’s clearly both offended and aroused by the sight of Jessica’s visible bra straps. Also, he’s likes to wear bowties and we all know that, in a Lifetime movie, bowties often equal evil.

Of course, the main clue that there’s something wrong with Simon comes when he kidnaps Jessica and locks her in his basement. There’s another woman already living in the basement. Her name is Robin (Rachel Wilson) and she’s been down in the basement for so long that she’s now in love with Simon.

And did I mention that the basement is specifically made up to look like the 1950s?

Because it so totally is!

What Worked?

Oh my God! Shaun Benson was sooooo creepy! Seriously, he gave a great over-the-top psycho performance in this film. Rachel Wilson did a good job too, poignantly portraying just how brainwashed her character had become. As well, whoever designed and decorated that basement deserves some sort of award. It was truly a creepy location.

What Did Not Work?

This is one of those films that should have been an insane masterpiece but, somehow, it never worked quite as well as I wanted it to. The film could never seem to quite decide whether it wanted to be an over-the-top melodrama or a serious look at abduction, abuse, and brainwashing. Courtney Ford and Andrew W. Walker did not have much chemistry as the endangered couple and, for the film to work, characters often had to behave in the stupidest way possible. Even the film’s ending, which was obviously meant to be a big “You go, girl!” moment, felt forced.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Jessica, I am totally obsessed with true crime and I enjoy trying to solve real-life unsolved mysteries. I also imagine that, much like Jessica, I would probably break into my neighbor’s house to investigate whether he was a potential murderer.

Lessons Learned

Creepy neighbors should be handled with extreme caution.

What Lisa Watched This Afternoon #114: Babysitter’s Black Book (dir by Lee Friedlander)

Posted on February 22, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, I watched last night’s Lifetime original movie, Babysitter’s Black Book!

Why Was I Watching It?

I love Lifetime movies about out-of-control teenagers.

What Was It About?

Ashley (Spencer Locke) wants to go to a good college and is terrified of getting stuck at a community college. She’s even started a babysitting service in order to help pay for school. However, she soon finds herself having an affair with one of her clients (Ryan McPartin). Meanwhile, one of her employees has turned the babysitting service into a prostitution ring.

And while that may seem extreme to some, never underestimate the lengths people will go to avoid having to enroll in a community college…

What Worked?

Before I watched this film, I thought there was a very good chance that either Sugar Daddies or Back to School Mom would be the best Lifetime film of 2015. But then I watched Babysitter’s Black Book and oh my God! Babysitter’s Black Book is one of the best Lifetime films that I have ever seen. How good was it? It’s almost as good as Confessions of a Go Go Girl!

(And that’s pretty freaking good…)

Babysitter’s Black Book features everything that you could possibly want from a Lifetime film. Melodrama, comedy, pretty clothes, sordid happenings in artfully decorated settings, and wonderfully over-the-top dialogue. When Rachel tries to convince her friends to have sex for money, she very reasonably says, “Use it before you lose it.” When Mark offers Ashley something to eat, he tells her, “Try it and you’ll never want to have another thing in your mouth.” How can you not love this film?

The film was also remarkably well-directed and acted. In the role of the greedily pragmatic Rachel, Angeline Appel stole every scene that she appeared in. Another scene stealer was an actor named Jeff L. Williams. Playing the role of the decadent Walker, Williams only appeared in a handful of scenes but he definitely made an impression. The minute he smirked and said, “Let’s take some real pictures,” you just knew that bad things were going to happen.

This was exactly the type of film that we watch Lifetime to see.

What Did Not Work?

It all worked. This was a perfect Lifetime movie.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Not that we ever would but, if for some reason we did decided to start a prostitution business, I would hope that my best friends and I would be as cheerful, giggly, and supportive about it as the girls in this film. And I really do think we would be. That’s one of the best things about Babysitter’s Black Book. It’s a film that — much like Sofia Coppola’s Bling Ring — is honest about the fact that sometimes it’s fun to be bad. (Especially when you’re still too sheltered and naive to understand the consequences…)

Babysitter’s Black Book perfectly captured the feeling of just how exhilarating and scary it can be to have your entire future in front of you. Whenever Ashley dreaded the prospect of having to stay home and attend a community college, I found myself nodding and thinking, “Oh my God. Just like me….”

Lessons Learned

Actions have consequences but it’s still fun to have money.