Andrew Jacobs | Through the Shattered Lens

Yesterday, I finally got around to watching the latest film from both Lifetime and the Asylum, Wuthering High School!

Cathy and Heath

Why Was I Watching It?

I was late in watching Wuthering High School. Saturday afternoon, I spent five hours in the Emergency Room, all so I could find out that I have bronchitis. By the time I finally got home, I was so tired that I slept through the Lifetime premiere of Wuthering High School. Fortunately, I did DVR it and yesterday, I finally found the time to watch it.

As to why I was watching it — hey, it’s a modern version of Wuthering Heights that’s set in a high school! And it was produced by the Asylum!

Wuthering Heights, high school, and The Asylum, three of my favorite things.

Seriously, how could I not watch it?

What Was It About?

Wuthering High School is the latest version of Emily Bronte’s classic novel, Wuthering Heights. After his family is deported, Heath (Andrew Jacobs) is adopted by wealthy Mr. Earnshaw (James Caan). Soon, Earnshaw is viewing Heath as being more of a son to him than his biological child, the drug-addicted Lee (Sean Flynn). Meanwhile, Heath has fallen in love with Earnshaw’s daughter, Cathy (Paloma Kwiatkowski). Cathy is struggling to come to terms with the recent death of her mother and soon, she and Heath are skipping school, tearing up school books in slow motion, and getting sentenced to community service. However, when Cathy rejoins the school’s popular clique of mean girls, she starts to grow distant from Heath. While Heath plots his revenge, Cathy is pursued by the well-meaning but ineffectual Eddie Linton (Matthew Boehm).

What Worked?

At its heart, Wuthering High School was definitely a “look at the pretty clothes and look at the pretty houses” type of film. And that’s okay because, ultimately, the clothes and the houses were all very pretty and they were all filmed in very loving detail by director Anthony DiBlasi. At it’s best, Wuthering High School is a pure celebration of melodramatic style.

Modernizing a classic, 19th century novel is always a risky proposition. Setting it in a high school is equally dangerous as well. But I actually liked a few of the ways that Bronte’s story was updated. For instance, I thought it was brilliant to turn the novel’s gambling addicted Hindley Earnshaw into the film’s drug-addicted Lee Earnshaw. As well, transforming gypsy Heathcliff into Heath, the son of a deported illegal immigrant, worked far better than I expected that it would.

Among the supporting cast, Matthew Boehm and Francesca Eastwood were both well-cast. Eastwood, especially, seemed to be having a lot of fun delivering her Mean Girls-style dialogue. (“That’s not the first time you’ve been wet,” she says after pouring a drink on Cathy.) And James Caan brought a lot of gravitas to his role.

And, finally, Paloma Kwiatkowski was well-cast as the angry and outspoken Cathy. Many scenes that should not have worked did work because of Kwiatkowski’s sincere and empathetic performance.

What Did Not Work?

So, with all of those good points that I mentioned above, why wasn’t Wuthering High School as much fun as it should have been? Ultimately, I think the film’s pacing was just a little bit off. Certain scenes moved just a bit too slowly while other scenes were finished too quickly and, as a result, the entire film had an oddly rushed feel to it.

As well, I had some issues with the film’s ending. Obviously, this is going to be a SPOILER so, if you want to be surprised, don’t read any further. *SPOILER BEGINS* Towards the end of Wuthering High School, Cathy chooses to walk out into the ocean and drowns herself while Heath watches. We are then left with a montage of everyone mourning, Heath digging up her grave and curling up next to her in a coffin, and Cathy — speaking to us from beyond the grave — saying that she’s now finally been reunited with her mother. And … seriously? Obviously, Cathy had to die in order to remain true to the spirit of Wuthering Heights but did she have to commit suicide and, even more importantly, did the film have to suggest that she was better off having done so? *SPOILER ENDS*

Finally, of the many actors to have played Heathcliff over the years, Andrew Jacobs was not exactly the most convincing. He came across as being more petulant than passionate.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Oh, I totally related to Cathy. I always do.

Lessons Learned

Avoid the ocean at all costs.

The latest Paranormal Activity film nearly made me sick.

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Oh my God, Lisa — we all know the Paranormal Activity films aren’t great but was it really that bad!?”

No, actually it wasn’t that bad. In fact, by the standards of the found footage film genre, I would say it was about average. It had everything that you’d expect from a Paranormal Activity film. There were bumps in the darkness. There were amazingly stupid characters who continually said things like, “Are you filming?” and “Did you hear that?” Most importantly, there were the shout-outs to the previous films in the series. Old VHS tapes labeled “Katie and Kristi” are found in a closet. One character talked about having a dream where he was on a farm surrounded by old women. Katie and Micah showed up yet again.

(You have to wonder how Micah Sloat feels about having a film career that is pretty much based on being murdered by Katie Featherstone in film after film after film…)

Listen, it’s easy to criticize the Paranormal Activity films. God knows that I’ve certainly criticized them a lot. But the fact of the matter is that they give the audience exactly what the audience is expecting. After five of these films, we all know exactly what we’re going to get when we go see a movie with the words Paranormal Activity in the title. You know that you’re going to jump a few times, you’re going to wonder how the characters can always be so stupid, and, if you’re so inclined, you can have fun spotting the references to previous films. If you’re going into a Parnormal Activity film expecting to see something brilliantly original or good, you’re doing it wrong. These films are the equivalent of the silly, but still scary, ghost stories that are best told in the middle of a dark, stormy night by someone with a flashlight pointed at her face.

In other words, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones is exactly what you would expect it to be.

So, why did it make me sick?

Like the other films in the series, The Marked Ones is told using “found footage.” However, whereas those previous films at least found an excuse to make use of a stationary camera, The Marked Ones is almost entirely hand-held. In other words, it’s shaky cam time and, for me at least, it was also nearly motion sickness time. Unfortunately, the hand-held work doesn’t really add any sort of immediacy to the film. Instead, it just makes you wonder why the character of Hector (Jorge Diaz) is still filming even while he’s running for his life. Sometimes, you just have to drop the damn camera. (Then again, it is a Paranormal Activity film…)

The Marked One is being sold as not a sequel but spin-off from the original Paranormal Activity films. As opposed to the other films, which all took place in the haunted homes of upper middle class white people, The Marked Ones takes place in a California housing complex where the majority of the residents are working class Latinos. The filmmakers are to be commended for both trying to open up the material with a new setting and for trying to give the film an authentic Latin flavor but ultimately, this is a Parnormal Activity film and it really doesn’t matter where you live or what your ethnicity is, the same old shit is going to keep happening to you.

Recent high school graduates Jesse (Andrew Jacobs) and Hector taunt an old witch who lives in the apartment downstairs. Shortly after Jesse awakes one morning to discover a strange bite on his arm, the witch is murdered and Jesse starts to act possessed. It’s up to Hector to try to figure out why his friend is acting so strange and to hopefully save him from the same witches who have popped up in every other Paran0rmal Activity film. Will Hector succeed or will he just keep filming?

Listen, Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones isn’t really a very good film. It’s predictable, the characters act in ways that no normal person would act, and even the expected scares — while occasionally jump-worthy — are no where close to being as effective as they were in the previous films. But you already knew that because it’s a Parnormal Activity film. If you enjoyed the previous films in the series, you’ll probably find something to enjoy about The Marked Ones. And if you didn’t enjoy the previous films, you wouldn’t be watching The Marked Ones to begin with.