Zombex (2013, directed by Jesse Dayton)


In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the residents of New Orleans are suffering from PTSD.  Chandler Pharmaceuticals introduces a new pill called Zombex that they claim can conquer the symptoms of PTSD.  Because of the crisis, the pill is given rushed approval by the government and introduced to the citizens of Louisiana.

Zombex has one unfortunate side effect.  If you take too many of them, you turn into a zombie and start eating all of the people around you.  With New Orleans besieged by zombie drug addicts, the government closes the airspace.  Even though there are reports of a cure that has been developed in Austin, no one can catch a plane.  A group of people, including an annoying talk show host named Aldous Huxley (Lew Temple), get in their cars and head off for Austin.

Zombex is a zombie film with a message.  Don’t trust big pharma.  Don’t trust mood-altering drugs.  Don’t trust the government.  They’re all good messages but the film’s execution is lacking, with thinly drawn characters and action that moves slowly.  The character of Aldous Huxley is especially hard to take, as he never stops talking, even though all of his talking often seems to slow down the effort to get to Austin.  Since the only cure for the zombie apocalypse is in Austin, it seems like our heroes should be in more of a hurry to get there.  Instead, they stop ever chance they get.  Even though they always seem to get attacked by zombies whenever they stop off somewhere, they still keep doing it.  It doesn’t make much sense.

As is typical of films like this, there are plenty of familiar actors in small roles.  Malcolm McDowell plays the man who developed the drug.  His name is Prof. Soulis, which is pronounced “soul-less.”  (Tell us how you really feel, movie.)  Corey Feldman shows up for a minute as one of Soulis’s co-workers.  Sid Haig plays a big bad army man.  Kinky Friedman plays a guard.  Even Slayer’s Tom Araya gets a blink and you’ll miss it appearance.

Zombex takes on Big Pharma, which it should, but the film doesn’t live up to its intentions.

Film Review: Prime Time (1977, directed by Bradley R. Swirnoff)


Prime TimeThe great character actor Warren Oates appeared in a lot of fairly obscure movies but none are as obscure as Prime Time.

With a running time of barely 70 minutes, Prime Time is a comedic sketch film that was meant to capitalize on the then-recent success of The Groove Tube, Tunnelvision, The Kentucky Friend Movie, and the first season of Saturday Night Live.  According to the Unknown Movies Page, Prime Time was financed independently and was picked up for distribution by Warner Bros.  After the Warner execs saw the finished film, they decided it was unreleasable so the film’s production team sold the film to Cannon Pictures, who were famous for being willing to release anything.  The movie played in a few cities under the terrible title American Raspberry and then went straight to VHS obscurity.

Sketch comedies are usually hit-and-miss and Prime Time is definitely more miss than hit.  The majority of the film is made up of commercial parodies but, since most of the commercials being parodied are no longer on the air, the humor has aged terribly.  There is also a wrap-around story.  The President (George Furth) and a general (Dick O’Neill) try to figure out where the commercial parodies are coming from and stop them before the broadcast leads to a riot.   There are a few funny bits (including Harry Shearer as a stranded trucker looking for a ride and Kinky Friedman singing a song about “Ol’ Ben Lucas who has a lot of mucus”) but, for the most part, the film is epitomized by a skit where people literally get shit dumped on their head.  The film’s opens with an incredibly racist commercial for Trans Puerto Rican Airlines and it’s all downhill from there.

As for Warren Oates, he appears in an early skit.  He and Robert Ridgely (best known for playing Col. James in Boogie Nights) play hunters who take part in the Charles Whitman Celebrity Invitational, climbing to the top of the Tower on the University of Texas campus and shooting at the people below.  It’s even less funny now than it probably was in 1977.

How did Warren Oates end up in a movie like Prime Time?  Even great actors have bills to pay.  As for Prime Time, it is the one Warren Oates film that even the most dedicated Warren Oates fan won’t regret missing.

Warren Oates and Robert Ridgely in Prime Time

Warren Oates and Robert Ridgely in Prime Time

My New Friends


Hi.  I just wanted to take a few minutes to introduce everyone to my new friends, Domo and Almighty Cthulhu…

Aren’t they just adorable?  Cthulhu arrives yesterday and Domo showed up earlier today.  They’ve already gotten a chance to meet some of my other friends like the Blues Brothers…

And Virgil The Alien Poet…

Also present was Dr. Zaius…

Dr. Zaius insisted on being accompanied by his personal bodyguard, an old school G.I. Joe.  Pull on Joe’s dog tags and he’ll say something that sounds like, “Brewlughajthghtjewmrehawhah…”  I’m guessing he was a bit more articulate 40 years ago.

Kinky Friedman, who I voted for in 2006 when he was running for governor of Texas, also showed up.  Press Kinky’s back and he says stuff like, “I’m not against the death penalty.  I’m against the wrong person gettin’ executed.”

Last but not least, they were met by Donald Trump.  Push Donald’s back and he’ll say stuff like, “Do you think you’re a good leader?  I don’t.  You let everyone walk all over you and you haven’t taken responsibility for your own mistakes.  For that reason, I’m afraid I have to say, ‘You’re fired.'”  Seriously, he says ALL of that!  Other phrases: “I should fire myself just for having you around” and “Brand yourself and toot your own horn.”

So far, at least, I think Domo is fitting in a little bit better than Cthulhu.  I have a feeling that Cthulhu and Donald Trump are going to end up locking horns because they both like to be in charge.  Me, I’m putting my money on Cthulhu.

Finally, in the end, what else can I say other than thank you to my friend and co-conspirator, R-Lee.  Not only does he allow me to post my random and occasionally heretical thoughts on his site but he’s helped to bring me even closer to almighty Cthulhu. 🙂