Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week’s episode is a much better Dr. Craig episode than last week’s.

Episode 1.21 “Baron von Munchausen”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on April 19th, 1983)

Anthony Rizzo (Louis Giambalvo) seems like a nice guy.  He’s admitted to the hospital with complaints of stomach pain and a high fever.  Dr. Morrison can’t find anything wrong with him but he does notice that Rizzo has a lot of scars.  Rizzo explains that he’s had a lot of surgeries over the course of his life and he’s got a story to go with each one of them.  Morrison brings in Ehrlich for a consult.  Ehrlich, who loves to perform surgery, suggests opening Rizzo up and doing an exploratory.  Morrison thinks it’s too early for that,  Rizzo, however, loves the idea.  Rizzo then proceeds to die on the operating table.

Ehrlich is shaken.  Morrison is angry.  However, Westphall and Craig take one look at the case and deduce that Rizzo suffered from Munchausen’s Syndrome.  For whatever reason, he was addicted to going to the hospital and having surgery.  He knew all the tricks, from using a light blub to make it look like he had a fever to pricking his finger with a needle to convince the doctors that there was blood in his urine.  It turns out that he died because of the drugs that he had been taking to help him fake his symptoms.  Both Morrison and Ehrlich are relieved to learn that Rizzo’s death was not their fault.

“So, Ehrlich lost his first patient today,” Craig says to Westphall.  “It won’t be his last.”

This was a good episode for Dr. Craig, especially after all that nonsense last week.  When Westphall finds himself in need of a doctor to speak to a group of inner city medical students, he is horrified to discover that Mark Craig is the only one available.  Craig accepts, saying that Westphall should have asked him earlier.

Westphall’s concerns are justified.  Dr. Craig is opinionated, wealthy, and more than a little prejudiced against …. well, everyone.  “My ancestors came here on the Mayflower!” Craig is quick to say.  And yet, the students love him, specifically because he doesn’t pretend to be anything that he isn’t.  Unlike Westphall, who tries give an inspiring pep talk, Craig is open about the reality of practicing medicine in what this episode refers to as being “the ghetto.”  When asked if his medical student son will be working in a ghetto clinic, Craig replies, “Why would he?”  Craig gets a standing ovation from the students, which felt like a bit much but whatever.  It was nice, for once, to see the show admitting that Craig’s blunt honesty can sometimes be more effective than Westphall’s noncommittal style of encouragement.

Afterwards, in a wonderfully acted scene, Craig asked Westphall why people don’t seem to like him,  Westphall shrugs and then says that Craig can be arrogant, rude, prejudiced, intolerant of other worldviews …. “Thank you, Donald,” Craig cuts him off.

Meanwhile, back at the hospital, a crazy woman (Micole Mercurio) is sent to the psych ward after threatening to kill Nurse Daniels.  (No, leave Shirley alone!)  Dr. Wendy Armstrong, who is one of the worst characters on this show, promptly discharges the woman and lets her leave the hospital.  “She threatened to kill me!” Shirley says while Wendy shrugs, unconcerned.  Fiscus also proves to be of no help, as he is once again feeling attracted to Kathy Martin.

Finally, Dr. White goes to a drug addict support group and walks out when things get too emotional.  Booo!  Dr. White is even worse than Dr, Armstrong!

This was a good episode.  Next week, the season finale!

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.20 “Craig In Love”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, Dr. Craig does the unthinkable …. maybe.

Episode 1.20 “Craig In Love”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired April 12, 1983)

Dr. Craig is indeed in love in this episode.  He’s totally smitten with the Hungarian Dr. Vera Anya and, when his wife Ellen (played by Bonnie Bartlett, real-life wife of William Daniels) goes out of town to visit her mother, Craig makes plans to show Dr. Anya around the town and maybe more….

Ugh.  Seriously, I don’t like the idea of Dr. Craig cheating on his wife and, though this episode leaves it ambiguous as to what actually happened, it totally appears that’s what Craig did over the weekend.  Dr. Craig is pompous and full-of-himself and rude to almost everyone he talks to but it’s always appeared that he totally loved his wife.  The whole idea of him thinking about cheating — much less actually doing it — just doesn’t seem right for his character.  And, quite frankly, Dr. Anya wasn’t really that intriguing of a character so if Craig did share more than just that passionate goodbye kiss with her …. well, I prefer to pretend this entire storyline didn’t happen.

Far more interesting was the malpractice suit brought against Dr. Chandler and Nurse Daniels.  As the hospital’s lawyer explains it, there really isn’t much of a case to be made for malpractice.  Instead, the dead man’s family is just hoping to get a quick settlement out of it.  Most doctors aren’t willing to pay the legal fees and don’t have the time to go to court.  Chandler, however, is personally offended by the suit and pledges to do whatever he has to do fight it.  Yay, Chandler!  Seriously, I hate people who try to bully people into settlements.  After my Dad died, there was this crazy woman who thought she could bully his estate into giving her half a million dollars.  Instead, she received nothing and that’s exactly what she deserved.  Both Denzel Washington and Ellen Bry gave good performances this week.  Ellen  Bry’s Nurse Daniels is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters.  She doesn’t let anyone push her around.

Speaking of pushing people around, Dr. Morrison finally got sick of Dr. White’s drug addiction and the two of them ended up having a fist fight in the men’s room.  Still, when White later crashed his girlfriend’s car and needed to be bailed out of jail, Morrison was the first person that he called.  Morrison, being a saint, got White out of jail.  White, being a jerk, barely even said thank you.  Morrison went to Westphall with his concerns about Dr. White.  Westphall responded that it wasn’t his place to give a fatherly lecture.  That’s cold, Westphall.  What about when he kills a patient because he’s high?  Will you care then?  No wonder St. Eligius is getting sued for malpractice!

Finally, Dr. Samuels had a cold so he spent the entire episode whining about it.  Seriously, Dr. Samuels is one of my least favorite characters of all time.

This episode was uneven for me.  I’m not happy about Dr. Craig being a cheater but I am happy that Dr. Chandler is standing up for himself.  Dr. White appears to be heading to a very dark place.

There’s only two episodes left in the first season so I’m assuming we’re going to get some sort of closure to at least some of these storylines.  We’ll see what happens next week!

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.19 “Working”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, someone’s getting sued!

Episode 1.19 “Working”

(Dir by Bruce Paltrow, originally aired on April 5th, 1983)

Dr. Morrison becomes upset when he deduces that a patient (Ed Lauter) is trying to drink himself to death so that his family can collect his life insurance.  Dr. Chandler becomes upset when one of his patients dies while being admitted to the hospital and the family ends up suing for malpractice.  For once, Dr. Craig is not upset because he’s been charmed by a visiting surgeon (Rita Zohar) from Hungary.  And, finally, Dr. White continues to be Dr. White as he obsesses over his separation, pops pills, and screws up even the simplest of medical tasks.

It’s just another day at St. Eligius!

This was a pretty good episode.  Dr. Craig’s storyline was probably the weakest but William Daniels is such a good actor and Dr. Craig was such an interesting character that even a weak Craig storyline is still better than average.  (That said, the visiting surgeon’s amazement at visiting at actual McDonald’s was a bit heavy handed.)

What really made this episode stand out is that Denzel Washington finally got to do something more than just stand in the background and nod.  For most of the first season, Dr. Chandler has been portrayed as being perhaps the most perfect and ultra-competent resident in the history of medical residences so it was interesting to see him not having all the answers for once.  Washington did a wonderful job portraying Chandler’s transformation from being almost cocky to being worried that he actually was, in some way, responsible for his patient’s death.  (The fact that the other doctors just shrugged off the man’s death made Chandler even more determined to figure things out.)  In the past, Chandler has always been quick to call out other people’s errors and this episode actually features him nearly coming to blows with White over White’s terrible job performance. Seeing Chandler having to critically examine his own job performance brought a bit more depth to the character.

Speaking of Dr. White …. WHAT A JERK!  The first season is nearly over and it seems like the show is building up to something terrible happening to Dr. White.  Whatever it may be, it’s hard not to feel that he brought it on himself.  In a hospital full of dedicated doctors, Dr. White is the guy you never want to see come in your room.  I have no idea what’s going to happen with this doctor but I can’t imagine it will be a good thing.

Finally, Morrison’s storyline left me wondering why Morrison always ends up with the most melodramatic patients.  That said, Ed Lauter was one of the best and his scenes with Norman Lloyd’s Dr. Auschlander were wonderfully acted by both men.

This was a good episode.  We’re approaching the end of season one and I can’t wait to see how things are going to wrap up with the doctors at Boston’s most underrated hospital.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsehwere 1.18 “Dog Day Hospital”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, Judith Light has got a gun!

Episode 1.18 “Dog Day Hospital”

(Dir by Victor Lobl, originally aired on March 22nd, 1983)

Finally, Dr. Ehrlich is performing his first solo operation.  Dr. Craig is assisting but Ehrlich is in charge.  He gets to play his music in the OR.  He gets to decide what type of retractor to use.  It’s a simple hernia operation.  The patient (Sam Anderson) is awake and babbling through the whole operation.

Unfortunately, there’s also an angry woman in the OR and she has a gun.  Barbara Lonnicker (Judith Light) is eight months pregnant, despite her husband claiming that he got a vasectomy at St. Eligius.  As she already has several children to deal with, she wants to see the doctor who screwed up the vasectomy but she’s just as willing to shoot any other doctor to get her revenge.  The operation continues while Dr. Craig and Dr. Westphall negotiate with her.

I have to admit that I did find a lot of this episode to be amusing.  Ehrlich’s excitement over getting to do his first operation, Dr. Craig’s stuffy annoyance with being interrupted by a woman with a gun, and the patient’s nonstop rambling all made me smile more than once.  And Judith Light, not surprisingly, was great as the woman with the gun.  I loved the her husband was played by Tom Atkins.  You never know who you might see at St. Eligius!  That said, after the episode ended, I couldn’t help but think about how dumb the whole thing actually was.  How are people always managing to get guns into St. Eligius?  How did Barbara manage to get into an operating room without being stopped beforehand?  (Luther does tell her that she can’t be back there but he’s the only one who seems to notice her before she bursts into the OR.)  How come no one in the hospital seems to be more upset about the fact that there’s a woman waving a gun around an operating room?  At one point, Barbara shoots Ehrlich’s radio and hardly anyone seems to react.  The plot is played for laughs and that’s fine.  But, in this case, the story was a bit too implausible for its own good.

Meanwhile, Nurse Rosenthal returned to work after her mastectomy and struggled to get back into her routine.  Carolyn Pickles did a great job portraying Rosenthal in this episode.  And Fiscus and Shirley Daniels visited an old woman in a nursing home.  The subplots were handled well but, for the most part, this episode still felt as if it was trying a bit too hard.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.16 “The Count”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s time to go under the knife in Boston.

Episode 1.16 “The Count”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired March 8th, 1983)

Harold Beaumont (Michael Halsey), an adult film actor better known as The Count, has checked into St. Eligius.  Of course, Dr. Samuels immediately recognizes him because Samuels is obsessed with porn.  Dr. Annie Cavanero does not recognize him but, once she learns what he does for a living, she has to tell him that she finds his work to be offensive because Dr. Cavanero’s entire personality pretty much revolves around getting offended by stuff.

It’s not much of a plot.  There’s a process server (William G. Schilling) who wants to serve the Count with a courts summons so Samuels and Cavanero help the Count hide and disguise his identity.  It’s silly and dumb story that involves the two of the least likable members of the show’s regular cast.

Meanwhile, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) comes to suspect that one of the hospital’s heart surgeons, Dr. Larry Andrews (Peter Michael Goetz), is giving pacemakers to people who don’t actually need them.  She takes her concerns to Dr. Craig.  Craig, an old friend of Dr. Andrews, is initially dismissive but he later confronts Dr. Andrews and finds out that Armstrong was correct.  Dr. Andrews explains that it takes a lot of money to fund his lifestyle.  This story was an improvement over the Count but it perhaps would have had more power if it had been someone like Dr. Ehrlich who suspected that Dr. Andrews was giving people pacemakers that they don’t need.  Ehrlich actually has a complicated relationship with Dr. Craig and his own less-than-stellar record as a resident would have added some ambiguity to storyline.  Dr. Armstrong, on the other hand, has been portrayed as being hypercompetent and a bit self-righteous and, if we’re going to be honest, she’s kind of a boring character.

Speaking of Dr. Ehrlich, he is getting fed up with living with Fiscus.  Howie Mandel is driving someone crazy?  Who could have seen that coming?

This week’s episode was pretty forgettable.  The story involving Dr. Andrews had potential but choosing to make the show’s least interesting characters the center of an entire episode was a decision that really didn’t pay off.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.16 “Monday, Tuesday, Sven Day”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s another day in Boston.

Episode 1.16 “Monday, Tuesday, Sven Day”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on March 1st, 1983)

It’s a busy day at St. Eligius.  Here’s a breakdown:

  1. The racial conflict is continuing.  Putting a young white man and a young black man in the same hospital room leads to an all-out brawl.  Some poor guy walking down the hall on a broken leg gets trampled in the melee.  Agck!
  2. A man in a crude astronaut’s uniform shows up at the ER.  He doesn’t get any lines but his name tag identifies him as “J. Masius,” which is a reference to one of the show’s writers.
  3. Oh, hey, it turns out that kid who claimed he was jumped by a bunch of black guys actually wasn’t jumped by a bunch of black guys.  Instead, his father (Dick O’Neill) beat him up.  Dr. Westphall threatens to beat up the kid’s dad.  They may be old but they both grew up on the streets of Boston!  What is it with old men from Boston and they’re need to threaten each other with fisticuffs?
  4. Dr, Chandler hears another doctor make a racist remake and gets angry.  “I keep forgetting he’s black,’ the doctor says.
  5. Dr. Morrison apologizes on behalf of the racist doctor.  Chandler tells Morrison that he’ll never understand what it’s like to be black.  Morrison agrees but then points out that he only lives two blocks away from Chandler so he does understand what it’s like to live in a poor neighborhood.  Uhmm….see, this is why I was kind of dreading watching this show try to deal with racism.  St. Elsewhere has been a good show so far but well-intentioned TV writer liberalism is usually the cringiest liberalism there is.
  6. Peter’s wife is pregnant.  Peter is not the father.  Peter asks a nurse for a loan so that he can pay his wife’s abortion.
  7. By the way, Peter is sleeping with the nurse who unknowingly paid for his wife’s abortion.
  8. There’s no way any of this is going to end well.
  9. A sex worker comes in to get her appendix removed.  “I love my job,” Fiscus says after telling her to undress.  Ugh, what a pig.  I get that guys say stuff like that when they’re talking to each other and that’s fine but you don’t say that to someone when they’re in terrible pain and in the emergency room.
  10. Finally, the show’s best storyline featured Ehrlich going to party at Dr. Craig’s house for a visiting Scandinavian doctor named Sven.  Ehrlich brings Shirley Daniels as his date and proceeds to have way too much to drink.  This storyline was fun because it highlight William Daniels’s wonderfully sardonic portrayal of the abrasive Dr. Craig.  I love that Ehrlich is both terrified of and desperate to impress him.  Drunk Ed Begley, Jr. was definitely this episode’s highlight.

This was an okay episode.  It wasn’t the most memorable that I’ve seen but I did enjoy that terrible party at Dr. Craig’s house.  Terrible parties are always so much more fun to watch than good ones.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.14 “Remission”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

It’s another day at the hospital.

Episode 1.14 “Remission”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on February 22nd, 1983)

A young Michael Madsen pops up in this episode, playing a hoodlum named Mike O’Connor who brings his severely beaten friend to the hospital.  This was Madsen’s first role on television and, in his very first scene and while delivering his very first televised monologue, he drops the N-word as he accuses a group of black men of beating up his friend.  Dr. Morrison is worried about whether or not Madsen’s friend is going to lose a kidney.  Meanwhile, race relations in Boston are not doing well.  What else is new?

(I remember, after the shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, there was a commentator who thought he was being clever when he said, “I don’t understand why blacks stay in the South when they could just move to Boston.”  The response to his comments served as a reminder that Boston’s history of racism makes some Southern cities seem almost progressive by comparison.)

It’s interesting that Michael Madsen is the second well-known actor to appear on St. Elsewhere as a gang member.  Just a few episodes ago, Howie Mandel was chasing Ray Liotta out of the hospital.  This particular episode ended with a fight breaking out in the ER between a white gang and a black gang.  I assume this will be continued next week so I guess we still have time to see Howie Mandel pull a gun on Michael Madsen.  Seriously, it better happen.  I’m plotting the upcoming week around it.

Speaking of Dr. Fiscus, he got evicted from his apartment.  He was shocked, even though he hadn’t paid his rent in forever.  No one wants Fiscus to stay with them but, after Fiscus saved Dr. Ehrlich from getting beaten up in the ER (and no, this was not a part of the gang fight, instead it was a different fight — goldang, Boston’s dangerous!  And yes, I gave up cursing for Lent), Ehrlich agrees to let Fiscus stay with him until he gets a new place.  I imagine Ehrlich will come to regret that, especially after Fiscus showed up with Dr. Kochar and a homeless guy who had earlier helped them steer a truck out of a traffic jam.  What?  Don’t ask, it didn’t make much sense on the show either.

Dr. Cavenero has been nominated for a prestigious fellowship by Dr. Auschlander but she’s not sure if she should accept it because the fellowship would be for research and she’s not sure that’s what she wants to focus on.  Auschlander has bigger issues to deal with, as he ends up collapsing in the hospital hallway, a result of his liver cancer.  The irony that Auschlander, a liver specialist, is dying of liver cancer is not lost on Auschlander and Norman Lloyd did a wonderful job in this episode, portraying not only Auschlander’s frustration but also his gentle humor.

Also, a woman was walking around the hospital and flashing people.  She said it was because she wanted to show off that, even in middle age, she still had a good body.  That makes sense to me.  Played by Janis Page, she was somehow who was fine for a one episode storyline but I’m going to scream if this becomes a multi-episode thing, like it did with Ralph the Birdman.

This was a good episode, even if I get the feeling the whole gang thing is going to be cringey in the way that most 80s television shows tended to be whenever they tried to take on race relations.  Norman Lloyd’s heartfelt performance carried the hour.  I’m hoping the best for Dr. Auschlander.  He’s a character that I would hate to lose.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.13 “Family History”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

Usually, I review this show on Friday but, yesterday, my week of visiting Lake Texoma in freezing weather finally caught up with me and I spent most of the day congested and curled up in bed.  As a result, St. Elsewhere got preempted until today.  Now, let’s see what’s happening at St. Eligius….

Episode 1.13 “Family History”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 8th, 1983)

After being a background character for the past few episodes, Dr. Wendy Armstrong (Kim Miyori) finally gets her time in the spotlight with this episode.  When Charlie Heller (Keenan Wynn) comes into the ER with a chronic nosebleed, Dr. Armstrong is too quick to assume that it’s nothing serious.  Dr. Westphall, who is in an especially crappy mood this episode, reprimands her for not getting a family history before making her diagnosis.  A chastened Armstrong gets Charlie’s family history and comes to suspect that he has a rare blood condition that only seems to effect Jewish men.  A very expensive test confirms Armstrong’s diagnosis.  Armstrong is excited.  “I was right!” she says.  Westphall again reprimands her, telling her that she now needs to tell Charlie that he has a chronic condition and will have to take medicine for the rest of his life.

Seriously, Westphall was not in a good mood during this episode!  But I don’t blame him.  From her first appearance on the show, Dr. Armstrong has been complaining nonstop.  No matter what happens in the hospital, she seems to take it as a personal affront.  Now, after several episodes of complaining about the other doctors, Armstrong fails to do a simple thing like get a family history.  No wonder Westphall was all like, What are you bragging about?

That said, even if his mood was understandable, I would not want to get on Westphall’s bad side.  Even after Armstrong makes the correct diagnosis, Westphall takes the time to say, “Next time, do what I told you to do.”  Agck!

While Westphall was dealing with whatever was eating away at him, Dr. Chandler was getting annoyed by John Doe’s refusal to try to remember anything about his past.  Even when John Doe’s real father showed up and explained that Doe was his son, Dave Stewart, he refused to try to remember anything.  Eventually, Chandler snapped at Dave for refusing to even try.  Chandler, of course, is played by a young Denzel Washington so, when he gets mad, it’s like having the voice of God call you out.  After Chandler’s reprimand, Dave finally makes an effort to remember his past.  He realizes that, when he was shot, he had a vision of his deceased mother welcoming him to heaven.  Awwww!

Dr. Craig’s friend has his gender affirmation surgery.  Crag met his friend’s lover, a trans man.  Needless to say, this episode featured a lot of scenes of Craig rolling his eyes as he struggled to come to terms with everything he was learning about his old friend.  It was all pretty predictable but William Daniels did a great job playing up Craig’s confusion and single-mindedness.

And finally, Peter was happy because his wife wanted to get back together.  I get the feeling any happiness Peter feels is destined to always be temporary.

This episode was a bit uneven.  Armstrong’s story would have been compelling if Armstrong herself was a more interesting character.  The highlight of the episode were the scenes between Denzel Washington’s doctor and Tom Hulce’s amnesiac.  It’s always enjoyable to watch two good actors perform opposite of each other.

Next week, the great Norman Lloyd takes center stage as Auschlander’s cancer returns.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu.  I had to purchase it on Prime.  I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu.  The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.

Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)

Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible.  Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum.  He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA.  Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.

Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist.  What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig.  Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine.  Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing.  When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty.  He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are.  Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth.  Craig laughs.  And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.

And you know what?  Dr. Samuels totally deserved it.  Good for you, Dr. Craig!

(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot.  They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)

Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head.  Ward 5 is re-opened!  Yay!  Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet.  While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.

That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients.  Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father.  Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer.  Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets.  Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat.  “Caw!  Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on  a chair.  The cat, for its part, just looks confused.

In other words, the marriage is off.  Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore.  The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera.  Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….

This was a weird but ultimately effective episode.  I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story.  Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish.  But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph.  Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.

Oh well.  I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, the hospital’s in chaos!

Episode 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 14th, 1982)

With one of the wards shut down due to a Legionnaires outbreak, the hospital is in crisis.  All of the patients from the infected ward and their doctors have been moved to a new floor and now, everyone is stressed and overworked.  Dr. Westphall insists to the Hospital Board that he has no regrets about shutting down the ward and that he did what he had to do.  Westphall is vindicated when it turns out that he was correct about the Legionnaires outbreak but he still has to admit that administrator H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest) has a point about Westphall’s actions causing a panic.  Cummings argues that Westphall could have quietly closed the ward without alerting the media.  In the end, it doesn’t matter as Cummings explains that he’ll be the one who gets fired over the bad publicity, not Westphall.  The episode ends with Westphall returning to his small home, carrying the birthday present that he was supposed to give his son that day.  Westphall has dedicated his life to the hospital and it’s obvious that his family has often had to wait until he has time for them.

(I’m starting to understand why Westphall always seems so damn depressed.)

Some people take advantage of the chaos.  Two gang members (one of whom is played by a very young Robert Davi) hit Fiscus over the head and steal his wallet after Fiscus stitches up one of their hands.  Peter White, eager to get away from his troubled marriage, shows up to work Morrison’s shift for him.  Dr. Chandler glares at a nurse that he previously accused of unprofessional behavior.  Dr. Craig tries to find someone foolish enough to buy his old convertible from him.  And head nurse Helen Rosenthal finds herself being called over and over again to the room of patient Martha Mulvahey (Ann Bronston).

Poor Martha!  She has a reputation for being a problem patient, because she’s always calling for the nurses and asking them to do things for her, like wash her hair or raise her bed.  Only Helen is willing to put up with Martha but even Helen loses her temper when Martha asks for help putting on her makeup.  Finally, Martha breaks down and explains that her arthritis is so severe that she can barely move her hands.  She’s a librarian and she can’t even turn the pages of a book anymore.  (Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye….)  A friend is coming to visit her at the hospital and she just wants to look good for him because she doesn’t want him to remember her as someone who can’t even get out of a hospital bed.  Helen helps Martha put on her makeup.  At the end of the episode, the hospital may be in chaos but Martha gets to see her friend and that made me happy and brought even more tears to my eyes.

Meanwhile, psychiatric patient Jane Zontell (Laraine Newman) returns to the hospital and checks herself back in for treatment.  Dr. Beale (G.W. Bailey) is shocked to learn that Jane is three months pregnant.  But it’s only been two months since Jane was last a patient at St. Eligius so that father must be someone at the hospital.  Uh-oh.

(Personally, I suspect Fiscus.)

This was a good episode.  I cried for Martha.  I felt bad for Westphall.  I hope someone buys Dr. Craig’s car so he’ll stop bothering everyone else about it.  This episode was about how bad things can get at a hospital but, with Martha and Rosenthal, it offered up some hope as well.  All in all, it worked.