Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 1.5 “Chapter Five: Dreams In A Witch House” (dir by Maggie Kelly)


They say you can tell a lot about someone by what they dream about.  I certainly believe that to be true.  (In fact, I’ve got an entire site dedicated to that very concept.)  That’s certainly the argument made in episode 5 of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

The plot, simply enough, is that Sabrina has unleashed a sleep demon named Batibat.  Years ago, Sabrina’s father trapped Batibat in a puzzle box.  Unfortunately, it was the same puzzle box that Sabrina had to solve to earn her right to take conjuring classes.  As soon as Batibat gets out, she announces that she has two goals: 1) revenge on the Spellmans and 2) screwing stuff up in the outside world.  Zelda casts a spell to trap Batibat inside the house.  The spell works but then Batibat casts a sleeping spell and soon, Sabrina, Ambrose, Hilda, and Zelda are all having nightmares designed to cause them so much pain and anguish that they’ll reveal how to break the spell.

Ambrose’s nightmare is simple but effective.  The nightmare deals with Ambrose’s inability to leave the house.  The dream starts with him performing an autopsy on a corpse who looks just like him.  Ambrose even eats the corpse’s heart, leading to Hilda asking him what it tastes like.  “Bitter,” is the reply.  The self-cannibalism is interrupted by Father Blackwood announcing that Ambrose’s sentence has been commuted and he can leave the house.  However, before Ambrose can walk through that front door, he’s stabbed by Batibat and finds himself in morgue, being cut open by himself.  Agck!

Hilda’s nightmare is finding herself sewn to her Zelda.  Meanwhile, Zelda, in his nightmare, jealousy kills Hilda and then can’t bring her back to life.  It’s an interesting dynamic.  Hilda’s greatest fear is never escaping from Zelda’s shadow.  (She’s also apparently worried that Principal Hawthorne will ask her out, just to reveal that he absorbed his twin brother in the womb.)  Zelda’s greatest fear is losing Hilda.

(It’s also interesting that Zelda’s dream opened with her mocking the biblical version of Adam and Eve’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden but then quickly turned into a retelling of the story of Cain and Abel.  Just as with Cain, Zelda’s anger was sparked by her God’s preference for her sibling’s offering.  After Zelda killed Hilda, she even asked, “Am I my sister’s keeper?”)

And then Sabrina — oh my God, poor Sabrina.  I felt bad for her because I’ve had nightmares like the one that she had.  After dreaming that her school has become a combination of Baxter High and the Academy of the Unseen Arts, she also dreams that Harvey has asked her to marry him.  Even though everyone tells Sabrina that witches and mortal can never marry, Sabrina is convinced that things will work out with Harvey.  (Though, interestingly enough, Nick Scratch shows up pretty prominently in her dream, as well.  Considering that she only met Nick three days ago, it’s telling that Sabrina is already dreaming about him as a possible rival for Harvey.)  Sabrina even tells Harvey that she’s a witch and Harvey says he doesn’t mind.  Sabrina’s father comes back to life to walk Sabrina down the aisle.  However, as soon as Sabrina and Harvey marry, Harvey’s family turns on her.  While the mortals in the church scream at her, Sabrina sees that her side of the family, the witches, are resentfully refusing to come to her aide, leaving her with no one.  Sabrina is dragged away from the altar and tossed in an iron maiden!

Fortunately, for Sabrina, Ms. Wardwell is wandering through everyone’s dreams and she gives Sabrina some advice on how to escape.  Even more fortunately, Sabrina has a familiar named Salem….

Look, I’m as disappointed as anyone by the fact that we don’t actually get to hear Salem speak in Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.  That said, this was a great Salem episode.  Salem not only bravely distracted Batibat but he also gave Sabrina good, if unheard (by us), advice.  I have to admit that, considering how dark this series tends to get, I was a bit worried when Batibat started chasing Salem through the house.  Well, fear not!  Salem lives!

In fact, everyone lives, Batibat is once again imprisoned, and Sabrina finally figures out that Ms. Wardwell is more than just a reclusive teacher.  At the end of the episode, Sabrina is at Wardwell’s house, demanding to know “who and what” she is.

This was the best episode that I’ve seen so far.  Not only does this episode do a great job of capturing the twisty logic of dreams but it also provides insight into whose these characters are.  Of course, we already knew that Sabrina is conflicted over being half-human and half-witch but now, we know that she’s worried that the other witches will abandon her and that Harvey wouldn’t be strong enough to stand up for her if her secret got out.  We knew that Hilda felt inferior to Zelda but now, we know just how desperate Hilda is to escape her sister’s shadow.  And, at the same time, we now understand why Zelda will never allow Hilda to escape.  Zelda needs Hilda even more than Hilda needs Zelda.  And finally, this episode was elevated by Batibat, a frightening creation if there ever was one.  Batibat not only gave people nightmares but she was a nightmare herself.

Next episode: Sabrina confronts Ms. Wardwell!

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina 1.4 “Chapter 4: Witch Academy” (dir by Rob Seidenglanz)


Witch Academy opens with Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka), Harvey (Ross Lynch), Roz (Jaz Sinclair), and Susie (Lachlan Watson) debating just what exactly The Fly was about.  Harvey just thinks it was just a film about a guy who turns into a fly.  Ros says that it’s about body dysmorphia.  Sabrina points out that Cronenberg said that the film was about STDs.

(Actually, they’re all wrong.  The Fly was actually a pilot for a Canadian TV series about a sarcastic fly and an earnest tabloid journalist who team up to help people, solve crimes, and battle climate change.)

It’s the weekend and that means that it’s time to debate horror movies and get ready for three days of terrifying drama in the lives of Sabrina Spelmman and her friends.  Ros is desperate to get out of having to do church stuff so she agrees to spend the weekend hanging out with Susie.  Harvey would love to spend all of his time with Sabrina but it turns out that Sabrina is going to be gone for the entire weekend.  She tells Harvey that she’s going to a farm expo with Hilda.  But we all know that she’s actually starting as a part-time student at The Academy of the Unseen Arts!

Unfortunately, the Academy turns out to be a fairly unfriendly environment.  Sabrina is not even allowed to bring Salem with her and she’s immediately bullied by Prudence Night (Tati Gabrielle) and two other witches.  Sabrina is put through the harrowing, which is a witch version of extreme hazing.  Sabrina even meets the ghosts of several children who, over the years, have died during the harrowing.  They want revenge but, in a rather sweet twist, they can’t pursue it unless someone gives them permission to do so.  Fortunately, despite having been excommunicated last episode, Zelda (Lucy Davis) still comes to the school and gives them permission to do what they want.

(At one point, Sabrina points out that the witches are treating a fellow witch as cruelly as the mortals once treated them.  Unfortunately, Prudence and her witches fail to appreciate Sabrina’s point.)

Perhaps even worse than the hazing is the fact that Sabrina isn’t being allowed to take any conjuring classes.  Father Blackwood (Richard Coyle) says that he needs to make sure that Sabrina is capable of handling conjuring but could it be that he secretly suspects that the only reason Sabrina agreed to attend the Academy was so she could learn how to defeat Satan.  Father Blackwood gives Sabrina a puzzle and says that, if she can solve it, she can take conjuring classes.  It turns out that the puzzle was made by her father and, with the help of a student named Nicholas Scratch (Gavin Leatherwood), Sabrina does solve it.  Of course, as soon as she does, a demon shows up and things end with Sabrina screaming in terror.  Nothing’s easy when you’re a witch.

While Sabrina was dealing with Witch Academy, her friends were dealing with Susie’s Uncle Jesse.  Apparently, Jesse used to work in the mines and he hasn’t been the same ever since he saw the same monster that Harvey saw when Harvey was a child.  In fact, Harvey’s attempts to tell Uncle Jesse about his experience led to Jesse going crazy and attacking him.

Meanwhile, Ambrose violated the terms of his sentencing by using astral projection so he could go on an extremely awkward date and Madam Satan (in the form of Ms. Wardwell) managed to get into the Spellman house.  It was a busy three days in Greendale!

This was a pretty good episode.  If I’m not as enthusiastic about Witch Academy and I was about The Trial of Sabrina Spellman, it’s just because the whole hazing subplot was a bit predictable.  That said, Kiernan Shipka continues to impress in every single scene in which she appears and Lucy Davis had some great moments in the episode as well.  After watching this episode, I’m a bit concerned that Sabrina and Harvey are heading for heartbreak because 1) the Witch Academy is a huge part of Sabrina’s life that she won’t be able to tell him about and 2) she’s going to have to keep coming up with excuses for why she can’t spend the weekend with him.  Add to that, she seems to have a lot more in common with Nicholas Scratch than with Harvey Kinkle.

But for now, Sabrina’s main concern has to be with the demon that’s just been conjured up in her bedroom.  We’ll see how she deals with that in episode 5!

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, P1:E1, P1:E2, October Country and The Dark Baptism Review


STAW

Sabrina isn’t just a teenage witch; she’s the new face of postmodern feminism.  Hidden in plain sight of the funny storylines and creepily quirky characters is a hard look at society, gender identity, and self-determination.  This show is a master class in how Horror, when done properly, can make a political statement.

In our society, we have a lot of words I don’t understand: hypermasculine – is where I assume you workout too much. The Patriarchy which is mentioned by name in the show.  I guess I’m technically part of the Patriarchy, but I must have missed my meetings because I never got a single check. Maybe, I was busy with the Illuminati and the Tri-Lateral Commision guys that week and they’re all about volunteering these days; I swear you sponsor one Children’s Hospital and you lose sight of the things that matter like World Domination.

In any case, all these new weird words, which I don’t understand and probably won’t bother to learn (because I barely have enough time to find me a sitter for date nights) is FREEDOM!  As a good Libertarian, I get all groovy over Freedom! This show gives me some serious gooseflesh because Sabrina is one BAD ….shut your mouth….Just talkin’ about Sabrina.  She is one Freedom-Lovin’ Witch and I can dig it!

Many 90’s folks like myself at least saw Sabrina on tv while flipping channels.  I didn’t watch it because….well, it looked….stupid.  This story takes that show and burns it to the ground and from the ashes rises a female empowerment story that made me want to take on this Mr Patriarch fellow who must workout A LOT and punch him right in (I’m assuming) his well-defined abs!

The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina was adapted for Netflix by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (Supergirl, Riverdale) from the eponymous comic.  The first two episodes were directed by Lee Toland who is definitely a David Lynch fan because everything looked off, but beautiful.  Sabrina (Kiernan Shipka- Mad Men) plays the burgeoning feminist theme perfectly.

Sabrina lives with her aunts Hilda, Zelda, and her cousin Ambrose.  They are full-witches and want Sabrina to follow convention and subordinate herself to a Man (aka Satan) think of it like the 1950s, but with broomsticks. However, Sabrina is having doubts.  Her ambivalence is fueled from three facets: she’s in love with a mortal and not too bright boy named Harvey, her male peer classmates want to forcibly closet transgender students and need some ass whoopin, and lastly because she’s a FREEEEE BIRRRRRD Baby and this bird you cannot Chaaaaaaaain!

Sabrina’s aunts don’t like her rebellion or at least her Aunt Zelda doesn’t and calls in Faustus Blackwood (Richard Coyle) to talk some sense into the young lass. He promises that she will still have free will and can walk away from Satan if she feels like it.  Well, I can’t blame her for being interested in it now.

As Halloween and her dark baptism approaches, she starts to seek out guidance outside of her family to make her decision to marry the devil.  The devil doesn’t take this sitting on his hooves and sends his minion Mary Wardell (Michelle Gomez) to push her back onto the dark path and ward her away from the path of light by possessing one of the school’s teachers.  Ms. Wardell develops Sabrina’s confidence. She believes that if she helps Sabrina to ass whoop the boys who are harassing the LGBTQ kids at the school, she’ll be able to leave her old life behind for her new one with Satan. Sabrina gets some mean girl witches to aid her in giving the harassers a beat down, which is very gratifying in a CW kind of way.  Ms Wardell thinks that with this obstacle out of the way, Sabrina will get in line for Satan.

Halloween, Sabrina’s birthday arrives and dark baptism ceremony is at hand where she will become Satan’s Stay at Home Mom.   The ceremony is in the woods and looks sort-of like I’m guessing a furry convention, but with some books.  Sabrina must sign her name in the Beast Book and she is ALL-IN.  AHHHH, but Faustus Blackwood wants her give up all her autonomy to the Patriarch…I mean the Devil – see what they did there????  And, Sabrina’s like hooooooooold on; that’s not what you told me before.  Sabrina makes like a tree and gets out of there.

Her dark baptism passes and she remains a half witchy woman and she thinks everything is groovy.  But is it? She is called into the Principal’s office and she sits down with her principal (Bronson Pinchot).  It turns out the principal – Brandon Pinchot is NOT a Perfect Stranger- he’s the Devil and wants to take away Sabrina’s Freedom and turn her in some Stepford Stay at home mom and I’m not having it and neither is Sabrina!  Between the Devil vs Sabrina my money’s on Sabrina and I don’t think she’ll even have to fiddle for it!

Horror Trailer: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina


Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

Just in time for the month of October we have the first official trailer for Netflix’s series reboot titled Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

Following the darker-edged comic book series of the same name, this Sabrina the Teenage Witch will not be similar to the more family-friendly iteration that aired on ABC during the 1990’s.

No, this looks particular version looks to be embracing the horror and occultism of the recent comic book about the character. From the look of this trailer alone it looks like horror will be quite up front and center.

Lisa will definitely be glad that Salem the cat will still be in the series.

Teaser Trailer: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Netflix)


Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

With each passing year since they decided to purchase and/or create original content for their streaming service, Netflix has continued to pump out more and more content to varying degrees of quality and success. For every Stranger Things or House of Cards, there would be 10 or so mediocre to just awful content, yet these are still content that the hundreds of millions of Netflix subscribers will watch.

Even now, shows that have been cancelled by the traditional networks have found a second life on Netflix to continue the series, albeit in a more streamlined version. There are no 20-24 episode seasons on Netflix. They prefer their series to be binge-able 10-13 episodes per season.

This October 26, just in time for Halloween, Netflix subscribers (plus those who borrow their friend’s account to watch Netflix) will see a new reinterpretation of the Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Just like CW Network’s Riverdale, this new Sabrina series on Netflix will have a much more darker take on the character that fans of the 1990’s series grew watching would be used to.

Kiernan Shipka of Mad Men will headline the series as the title character and if this teaser trailer is of any indication the series will definitely delve into much darker territory than the previous Sabrina series that aired on ABC.

I know one thing, I have a feeling that Lisa Marie will eat up this series, if just because of the last shot of the teaser trailer.

Back to School Part II #50: Paper Towns (dir by Jake Schreier)


(For the past three weeks, Lisa Marie has been in the process of reviewing 56 back to school films!  She’s promised the rest of the TSL staff that this project will finally wrap up by the end of Monday, so that she can devote her time to helping to prepare the site for its annual October horror month!  Will she make it or will she fail, lose her administrator privileges, and end up writing listicles for Buzzfeed?  Keep reading the site to find out!)

paper-towns

Looking at the film poster above, you could be forgiven for immediately thinking of The Fault In Our Stars.  Of course, some of that is because it says, “From the author of The Fault In Our Stars” and because it features half of Nat Wolff’s face.  (Wolff had a key supporting role in Fault.)  Beyond that, though, the poster feels as if it could have just as easily been used for The Fault In Our Stars.  Check out the intensity of the stares.  Though we may only see half of their faces, both of the pictured characters appear to be daring the viewer to dismiss their concerns as being mere “teen drama.”

When Paper Towns was released in 2015, it was repeatedly advertised as being the next Fault In Our Stars.  Paper Towns does share Fault‘s unapologetic earnestness and, in a few scenes, its sense of inescapable melancholy.  (As people get older, they tend to sentimentalize the years that came before and, as a result, they often forget how coming-of-age and intense regret often go hand-in-hand.)  But ultimately, though they’re both based on novels by John Green and feature Nat Wolff, Paper Towns tells a very different story from The Fault In Our Stars.

Nat Wolff stars as Quintin, who is better known as Q.  Quintin is a student at Jefferson Park High School in Orlando.  He’s the epitome of a good kid.  He’s shy, he’s polite, and, somewhat inevitably when you consider what is currently valued in American society, he’s not particularly popular at school.  He spends most of his time hanging out with his friends, Ben (Austin Abrams) and Radar (Justice Smith).  And when he’s not hanging out with them, he’s pining for the most popular girl in school, Margo (Cara Delivingne).

Margo and Quintin have been neighbors since they were children.  When Margo’s family first moved in, she and Quintin became close friends but that friendship ended after they came across the body of a man who had committed suicide.  Traumatized, Margo drifted away from Quintin.  Now, nine years later, they are both seniors in high school.  Quintin silently loves Margo.  Margo rarely acknowledges his existence…

Or, that is, she doesn’t until the night that she suddenly climbs through Quintin’s bedroom window.  She explains that her boyfriend has been cheating on her.  She wants revenge on him and all of her friends, none of whom bothered to tell her what was going on.  A night of gleeful vandalism follows, ending with a romantic dance.

The next morning, Margo is gone.  She’s vanished and no one knows where she has gone.  However, Quintin is determined to find her and he is also convinced that she has left him a trail of clues that will lead him to her.  When he concludes that she’s gone to upstate New York, he recruits his friends (and one of Margo’s former friends) to go on a road trip with him.  Quintin is convinced that Margo will be waiting for him but, as always, the truth is a bit more complex…

While the plot description might make Paper Towns sound like a YA version of Gone Girl, it’s actually an achingly sincere and incredibly likable little film.  The entire cast has a good chemistry and their dialogue is clever without sounding artificial.  The best thing about Paper Towns is that it serves as a wonderful showcase for Nat Wolff, who is one of the best and most underrated young actors working today.  If you watch this film directly after watching Wolff convincingly play a self-destructive sociopath in Palo Alto, you’ll get a hint of Wolff’s range.

Paper Towns won’t make you cry like The Fault In Our Stars did but it’s still a pretty decent film.