Janeen Damian | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, everyone’s singing!

Episodes 7.25 and 7.26 “Dreamboat/Gopher, Isaac & the Starlet/The Parents/The Importance of Being Johnny/Julie and the Producer”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on May 5th, 1984)

A Hollywood film crew is setting sail on The Love Boat. They’ll be shooting a movie called Dreamboat and the passengers and the crew will be acting as extras! Dreamboat is a musical which means that, for the next two hours, everyone on the Pacific Princess is going to be randomly breaking out into song.

From what I’ve seen online, there’s a tendency to dismiss the musical episodes of The Love Boat but I have to admit that I kind of enjoy them. Our Love Boat crew may not have been the most musically talented group of people but they all seemed to be enjoying the chance to show off and try to hit those high notes. The songs themselves are nothing special. It really is more of a community theater production than a Broadway show. But I like community theater productions. It’s always nice to see everyone trying their hardest and doing their best.

What’s happening on the ship in between songs? A lot!

Star Faye Marsh (Juliet Prowse), who is insecure about her struggling career, holds up shooting with her demands. The only time she’s truly happy is when she’s spending time with Doc Bricker, who is a longtime fan.
Gopher and Isaac try to get a role in the film. When they fail to impress director Bennett Barton (Ben Vereen), they then team up to try to help a passenger named Shelley Rush (Melba Moore) get a role.
Julie is shocked to discover that the film’s producer, Marty Chenault (Dean Jones), is the brother of her former fiancé. (Julie’s former fiancé was previously played by Tony Roberts so it was apparently decided to give Dean Jones a perm so that he could look more like Roberts. It doesn’t really work) Julie and Marty seem to be falling in love but is it Marty that Julie likes or is she just missing the former lover of her life?
Vicki has a crush on singer Johnny Lovett (Jimmy Osmond), who is nervous about making his film debut in Dreamboat. Johnny sings Spinning Wheel while Vicki snaps her fingers.
Captain Stubing falls for Johnny’s mother, Angela (Alexis Smith).

There’s a lot of people to keep track of in this episode but ultimately, the stories don’t matter. This episode is about singing and dancing and having a good time. Everyone seems to be having fun. I felt happy while watching them.

That said, I know what you’re wondering.

On a scale of 0 to 10, Julies scores a perfect ten this week. When she first sees Marty, her eyes flash with an energy that is generated by more than just love. This week, Julie never stop smiling and she often seems to be sniffing whenever she’s in the background.

And you know what? As long as Julie’s happy, I’m happy for her. This was a very happy episode.

Next week, we reach the end of the seventh season!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week’s episode presents your erstwhile reviewer with a bit of an ethical quandary.

Episode 5.12 “The Magic Camera/Mata Hari/Valerie”

(Dir by Don Chaffey and Don Weis, originally aired on January 16th, 1982)

I don’t feel completely comfortable about reviewing this episode of Fantasy Island and I’ll tell you why.

Occasionally, Fantasy Island would broadcast an extra-long episode. These episodes would typically feature three fantasies as opposed to the usual two. Unfortunately, when these long episodes were syndicated, one of the fantasies would be edited out so the episode would fit into an hour-long slot. Usually, the editing was not particularly smooth, either. The end result would usually be an episode that seemed oddly paced and the performances of Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize would often seem uneven as well. As such, it’s neither easy nor particularly fair to review those edited episodes. When it comes to reviewing, I always want to see the complete episode.

And yet, now that the original Fantasy Island is no longer streaming anywhere (seriously, what the Hell, Tubi?), I’m stuck using the episodes that I have on my DVR. And that means reviewing the edited, syndicated versions of these episodes.

As you can probably guess, this is one of those edited episodes. The Valerie fantasy was removed for syndication. That’s a shame because Valerie featured the final televised performance of actor Christopher George, a charismatic B-movie veteran who is pretty popular around the Shattered Lens offices. It also featured Michelle Phillips, though apparently she did not return as the mermaid who she played earlier on the show. I’d love to review Valerie but I can’t. And that sucks,

As for the other two fantasies, one is basically a remake of the Lillian Russell fantasy, except this time Martha Harris (Phyllis Davis) goes into the past and finds herself transformed into her great-grandmother, Mata Hari. She gets to dance. She gets to spy. She gets thrown in prison and sentenced to death but, fortunately, her life is spared when the firing squad’s rifles are filled with blanks and she’s given a drug by one of the men who is in love with that makes her appear to be dead. This was a enjoyable fantasy, mostly because of the costumes and the melodrama.

The other fantasy features Bob Denver, coming to the Island for the second week in a row. This time, he’s a photographer who wants to take the type of pictures that the world’s greatest photographers couldn’t. Because of the awkward way the fantasy was stated, the photographer ends up with a camera that takes pictures of the future. At first, the photographer is really happy and uses his camera to commit a little insider trading. But then he takes a picture of a newspaper and sees a headline announcing his death in a fiery auto accident. Uh-oh!

Again, neither of the two fantasies is bad (though the second one does require a certain tolerance for Bob Denver that some people may not have) but it was hard for me to enjoy them knowing that I was missing out on a third fantasy. For that reason, I assigning this episode a grade of incomplete. If I ever get a chance to watch the complete episode, uncut, I’ll revisit this review but until then, I really can’t give an overall grade to this episode.

Finally, for those keeping track, both Julie and Tattoo join Roarke when it’s time to greet the guests. That’s only second time that’s happened this season.