The Eric Roberts Collection: Best of the Best (dir by Bob Radler)

Posted on April 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“No!” James Earl Jones says towards the end of 1989’s The Best of the Best, his already deep voice made even more imposing by the use of slow motion.

“No, Tommy, no!” Eric Roberts joins in as he watches martial artist Tommy Lee (Phillip Rhee) internally struggle with whether or not to strike a blow that will definitely kill his opponent and, if James Earl Jones is all gravitas and stern wisdom, Eric Roberts is all emotion and desperation.

The Best of the Best is a bit of an oddity, in that the script features just about every martial arts tournament cliche imaginable (right down to the other “bad” team having a history of killing people in the ring) but those cliches are all acted out by a surprisingly distinguished cast. I counted four Oscar nominees (and one winner) in the cast. James Earl Jones (nominated for The Great White Hope) plays Coach Couzo, who gets a team of Americans prepared to fight in an international tournament. Sally Kirkland (nominated for Anna) plays their trainer, who worries not just about the team’s physical health but also their mental burdens. Eric Roberts (nominated for Runaway Train) is Alex Grady, the former martial arts champion-turned-auto worker who makes the team despite having a bad shoulder. Louise Fletcher (who won for One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest) plays Alex’s mother, who looks after his son while Alex is off getting ready to face the Korean team. And then there’s Chris Penn (who seems like, if not for his early death, he would have eventually been nominated for something) as the arrogant Travis, a cowboy who can throw a punch.

(The American team is filled out by John Dye as Virgil, an intellectual Buddhist, David Agresta as Sonny “I’m Italian” Grasso, and Phillip Rhee, who not only plays Tommy but also wrote the film’s script.)

Roberts gets top-billing in this and he does get a lot of important moments, including a scene where he breaks the Coach’s rules so that he can visit his son in the hospital. That said, the story centers around Phillip Rhee’s Tommy. Tommy’s older brother was killed in the ring by the one-eyed Dae Han Park (Simon Rhee) and — wow, what a coincidence! — that just happens to be who Tommy needs to beat for the Americans to win the big tournament. Both of the Rhee brothers actually are martial artists and they are very convincing in the fight scenes, which is good because neither Phillip nor Simon Rhee were particularly strong actors. Eric Roberts is not a particularly convincing martial artist but it doesn’t matter because he acts the Heck out of every scene in which he appears. What happens when you bring method intensity to the type of martial arts film that Jean-Claude Van Damme would later make his specialty? You get scenes of a heavily-bruised Eric Roberts crying but, because Roberts is a good actor, the tears feel earned. Still, whenever I saw Alex’s eyes starting to glisten, I imagined James Earl Jones saying, “Noooooooo!” How can you win the world’s greatest tournament when you’re constantly on the verge of tears? Well, maybe you don’t need to win. Maybe you just need to show that you have more honor than anyone else there.

Best of the Best is a classic of its kind. There’s nothing surprising about it but it’s entertaining in its own dumb way and, in the end, it reminds us that America doesn’t need medals to be the best. It just needs Eric Roberts.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Big Trouble In Little China (1986, directed by John Carpenter)

Posted on March 17, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) is not a complicated person. He drives a truck for a living. He’s loyal to his friends. He likes a good beer and a pretty girl. He tries to do the right thing so when the fiancée of his best friend, Wang Chi (Dennis Dun), is kidnapped, he teams up with Wang to rescue her. And when Jack’s truck gets stolen after he runs over an evil, ancient Chinese sorcerer named Lo Pan (James Hong), Jack just wants to get his truck back. Instead, Jack finds himself in the middle of an ancient battle between good and evil as Lo Pan searches for a green-eyed woman to sacrifice so that he can defeat a curse that was put upon him centuries ago.

Big Trouble In Little China is one of John Carpenter’s most exuberant films. It mixes kung fu action with special effects and a good dose of physical humor from Kurt Russell. When Lisa and I watched this movie a few months ago, Lisa commented that this film was Kurt Russell’s “Bruce Campbell movie,” and the more I think about it, the more I agree. Russell plays Jack with a mix of cockiness and klutziness that should be very familiar to anyone who has followed the adventures of Ash Williams. While Dennis Dun gets to do the typically heroic stuff that you would expect from the star of a movie like this, Russell is just someone who wants to get his truck back and who is consistently weirded-out by the magic around him. Carpenter makes sure that the movie is full of action as he pays tribute to the kung fu films that he watched when he was still in film school. James Hong is great villain and the rest of the cast, including Kim Cattrall as lawyer Gracie Law, all match the energy of Russell, Hong, and Dun. Complete with flying swordsmen, demons with glowing eyes, and a lightning-wielding warrior that probably inspired Mortal Kombat‘s Raiden, Big Trouble In Little China is a fun slice of 80s action.

Unfortunately, the film was not appreciated when it was first released. Stung by the critical reaction to the film, Carpenter abandoned working for the studios and instead become an independent filmmaker. Big Trouble In Little China, however, has stood the test of time and has become better appreciated with age. Today, it’s rightly viewed as one of Carpenter’s best films.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.13 “Nights to Dragon One”

Posted on October 8, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Mitch and Ryan play a deadly game!

Episode 2.13 “Nights to Dragon One”

(Dir by Richard Friedman, originally aired on February 16th, 1997)

Mitch and Ryan are hired to discover what has happened to a father and his daughter. When last seen, they were entering a mysterious building. The father was a lifelong adventurer and he had apparently heard that the building was home to “the ultimate game.” Along with daughter, he had to play. Now, they’re both missing.

So, of course, Mitch and Ryan enter the building and soon find themselves in a computer-simulated dungeon, complete with traps, deadly archers, random flames, and a cackling Game Master (Vincent Schiavelli) who occasionally materializes so he can taunt Mitch and Ryan about their lack of progress in the game.

Ryan is actually excited about playing the game, explaining the she played an earlier version of it when she was in college. All Mitch cares about is saving the man and his daughter. Mitch doesn’t get the point of computer simulations and virtual reality and all that sort of thing. Mitch probably thinks that email is just a fad as well. Mitch is the guy who goes to an escape room and, instead of reading the clues, just tries to break the door down.

And yet, it’s Mitch who ends up entering and winning the final confrontation with the Game Master, even though Ryan points out that it would make more sense for her to do it because she’s actually played the game before. Sorry, Ryan. The Hoff is here to save the day so just stand back and be quiet, I guess.

Vincent Schiavelli is a welcome presence as the Game Mater and he at least seems to be having fun with his role. That said, this is the worst episode of Baywatch Nights that I’ve seen so far and that includes out of the episodes from the non-supernatural first season as well. A huge problem is that the game itself is just boring. Mitch and Ryan have to make their way through a corridor of laser beams. Mitch and Ryan have to avoid the arrows being shot at them by a mysterious archer. Considering that this is a computer simulation where, in theory, anything could happen, this episode is a huge missed opportunity. Things should have been a lot stranger than they were.

Finally, this is one of those episodes where the camera never stops moving. As opposed to being disorientating or frightening, the constant movement just becomes annoying. There’s only so many Dutch angles that can be used in one scene before they lose their effectiveness.

This game could have been a lot of fun but instead, it’s just kind of dull. The Hoff wins but honestly, I feel like I could have won it as well. The Hoff/Angie chemistry is still strong but it’s not enough to save this middling episode.

Mission of Justice (1992, directed by Steve Barnett)

Posted on May 7, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Suspended from the police force because he does thing his way and doesn’t follow the book, martial artist Kurt Harris (Jeff Wincott) joins the Peacekeepers, a Guardian Angel-like group that is led by Dr. Rachel K. Larkin (Brigitte Nielsen). Larkin is running for mayor on a law-and-order platform. Just as the Peacekeepers have protected the local bodegas, Dr. Larkin will clean up the streets.

Kurt has a reason beyond just bitterness for joining the Peacekeepers. Kurt suspects that the Peacekeepers is actually a criminal enterprise and that they are responsible for the murder of his mentor, Cedric Williams (Tony Burton, who does not throw the damn towel when confronted by the bad guys).

There were some good fight scenes and the idea of the Peacekeepers hiding their crimes behind their vigilante activities was an interesting one. The Peacekeepers were obviously based on New York’s Guardian Angels and it’s interesting that both the leader of the Angels and the leader of the Peacekeepers ended up running for mayor. Of course, Curt Sliwa’s campaign was not as destructive or evil as Dr. Larkin’s. In fact, I wasn’t really sure why Dr. Larkin was running for mayor, out of all the things that she could have done with her money and her paramilitary force.

Brigitte Nielsen always makes a good villain and the movie also features dependable straight-to-video action mainstays like Matthias Hues, Luca Bercovivi, and Karen Sheperd. Unfortunately, Jeff Wincott was always one of the blandest of the 90s second tier action heroes, lacking the charisma of a Dolph Lundgren, a Jean-Claude Van Damme, or even as Steven Seagal. Wincott was the star you called only after exhausting every attempt to sign Lorenzo Lamas. Wincott is convincing when he’s throwing a punch or kicking someone in the face but when he has to show emotion or deliver dialogue, the movie come to a halt.

With a more charismatic star, Mission of Justice could have been a B-classic but instead, it’s just another forgettable straight-to-video action movie.

Aftershock (1990, directed by Frank Harris)

Posted on May 6, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

It’s the future and society has collapsed. America is now controlled by the evil Commander Eastern (Richard Lynch) who, with the help of a propagandist known as Big Sister and a paramilitary leader named Oliver Queen (John Saxon), rules with an iron hand. Colonel Slater (Christopher Mitchum) is the leader of the revolution that threaten to overthrow Eastern’s regime.

Two revolutionaries, Wille (Jay Roberts, Jr.) and Danny (Chuck Jeffreys), are stuck in one of Eastern’s prison. Every day, they fight for their lives and they wait for a chance to escape. That chances come in the form of Sabrina (the beautiful Elizabeth Kaitan), an alien who lands on our planet under the mistaken assumption that Earth is an utopia.

When Sabrina, Willie, and Danny finally manage to escape, they have to make it to Slater’s headquarters while avoiding the bounty hunter (Chris DeRose) who Queen has been sent to capture them.

A fairly standard rip-off of the Mad Max films, the most interesting thing about Aftershock is the cast. I already mentioned Mitchum, Saxon, Lynch, and Elizabeth Kaitan but there are also appearances from Russ Tamblyn, Michael Berryman, Matthias Hues, and Deanna Oliver. For a movie that looks cheap and doesn’t really bring anything new to the postapocalyptic genre, there are a lot of very talented people in this movie. (Even talented people have to pay the bills.) Most of them are only on for a few minutes. The instantly forgettable Jay Roberts, Jr. and Chuck Jeffreys are the actual stars here. Jeffreys was a stunt man who was famous for his resemblance to Eddie Murphy. He looks good in the action scenes but otherwise, he and Roberts don’t make much of an impression.

At least Elizabeth Kaitan gets a decent amount of screentime. Kaitan appeared in a lot of movies in the 80s and 90s. None of the movies were very good. She got stuck with roles like the girlfriend in Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 and a victim in Friday The 13th Part VII. Kaitan got roles primarily because she was beautiful but she had a likable screen presence and more than a little talent. In Aftershock, she gives a convincing performance as a stranger in a strange land, one who has her own eccentric way of viewing things. Her performance is the best thing about Aftershock and the main reason to watch.

Film Review: Do or Die (dir by Andy Sidaris)

Posted on March 10, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, imagine this.

You and your BFF are at a luau in Hawaii. Fires are being spun. People are dancing. Drums are being beaten. It’s almost time to eat the pig and suddenly, you discover that a mysterious old man wants to speak to you. The man is surrounded by armed guards but you’re used to that. Both you and your BFF work for the government. You blow things up and save the world for a living!

Anyway, the old man informs you that he is a master criminal named Kane. He’s one of those “I’m going to take over the world” types but apparently, you keep thwarting his plans. He’s a little bit upset about that and why not? It’s hard enough trying to conquer the world without having somebody continually blowing up all of your friends. He says that he’s going to have you killed.

Uh-oh!

But fear not! Kane isn’t going to kill you right there and then. It turns out that Kane has a code of honor that he lives by. He may be evil but he believes in fair play. So, Kane says that he’s going to kill you later. Apparently, he’s hired six different teams of assassins. Over the next couple of days, they’re going to try to kill you. Fortunately, the team’s aren’t going to work together or anything intelligent like that. That wouldn’t be fair. Instead, they’re going to come at you one at a time. Once one teams fails to kill you, they’re out of the hunt.

How would you react? What would be the first thing that you and your BFF would do?

Would you make sure your guns were loaded, lock the doors, and then wait for the first team to make their move?

Would you try to make the first move, maybe trying to take out Kane right then and there?

Or maybe you would leave the country and try to start a whole new life under a new identity?

I’d probably go with the third option but that’s not what Donna (Dona Speir) and Nicole (Roberta Vasquez) do when Kane (Pat Morita) tells them that they’ve been targeted. Instead, they get topless and relax in the hut tub while discussing how much it sucks that someone wants to kill them.

Honestly, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. The 1991 film, Do or Die, was directed by Andy Sidaris. In a Sidaris film, a topless hot tub party plays much the same role as the family get togethers that often end the Fast and the Furious movies. Still, it’s hard not to be a little bit disappointed by their sudden passivity. After all, Donna is the same agent who previously used a rocket launcher to blow up Erik Estrada at the end of Guns.

Speaking of Erik Estrada, he’s back. However, he’s playing a different character than he played in Guns. Now, he’s a heroic agent named Rico. When Donna and Nicole finally get around to letting their boss, Lucas (William Bumiller), know what’s going on, Lucas recruits Rico to help protect them. Bruce Christian (Bruce Penhall) and Shane Abilene (Michael Shane) are also brought in as well. Shane still has terrible aim. I know that’s a running joke in all of the Sidaris films but you really do have to wonder why the government continues to employ someone who sucks at a huge part of his job.

Anyway, Donna and Nicole eventually head for the mainland but that doesn’t do much good because Kane put a tracking device on her watch and Donna apparently lost several IQ points between the end of Guns and the start of this movie. At first, they go to Vegas but eventually, they end up in Louisiana. This leads to the usual remote-controlled boats and helicopters, the same ones that appear in nearly every Sidaris film. Needless to say, a lot of stuff gets blown up.

And it’s all pretty boring, to be honest. It sounds like it should be fun, what with all the different assassins showing up and Kane getting more and more frustrated as Donna and Nicole continue to survive. But, unfortunately, none of the assassins are that interesting. Most of the film takes place in Caddo Parish. My family lived in Shreveport for a year and a half. I like Caddo Parish. But it really can’t compare to Hawaii as far as photogenic locations are concerned.

Do or Die had potential but it got lost in the hot tub.

Film Review: Savage Beach (dir by Andy Sidaris)

Posted on March 8, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

1989’s Savage Beach is yet another Andy Sidaris film that doesn’t make a damn bit of sense.

This time, Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) have been hired to perform a very important mission. You may remember that Donna works for a super secret government agency while, at one point, Taryn was in the witness protection program. As a part of their cover, they fly a plane in Hawaii, making deliveries and giving tours.

(To be honest, you would think that, after everything that happened in Hard Ticket To Hawaii and Picasso Trigger, their cover would have blown but apparently not.)

Anyway, this time, they’ve been hired to fly a very important vaccine to a nearby island. They manage to deliver the vaccine but a huge storm has come up. As soon as they get back in their plane and start back towards Hawaii, Donna says, “Shouldn’t we get out of these wet clothes?” While usually I roll my eyes at all of the nudity in Sidaris’s films, I have to admit that line made me laugh out loud. Maybe it was just the sincerity with which Dona Speir delivered it. Or maybe it’s just the fact that Andy Sidaris actually sat down, thought up that line, wrote it down, and then directed someone saying it. One thing that can definitely be said for Andy Sidaris: as a filmmaker, he was totally without shame.

Anyway, the storm gets really bad and Donna and Taryn end up crashing on what they think is a deserted island. Neither of them appear to be too upset about being stranded on that island, perhaps because Savage Beach was filmed nearly two decade before Lost. Make no doubt about it, Donna and Taryn are optimists!

It turns out that they’re not alone. Apparently, there’s treasure buried on the island and, as a result, all sorts of people are showing up. Most of them are villainous. Some of them are heroic. There’s even another Abilene cousin, Shane Abilene (Michael J. Shane). Everyone wants that treasure. Everyone except for … THE WARRIOR!

Who is the Warrior (Michael Mikasa)? He was a soldier in the Japanese army during World War II. Left behind on the island, he’s still fighting the war. Or something. Actually, it’s not always easy to understand what the Warrior or anyone else is doing on the island. The Warrior does decide to protect Donna and Taryn and both of them try to keep his existence a secret from the rest of the people on the island but that doesn’t really work out.

Honestly, Savage Beach should not have been as complicated as it was. It should have been a simple story where Donna and Taryn outwitted a bunch of pirates on a desert island. Instead, more and more people just keep showing up on that beach. Good luck trying to keep them all straight.

It’s probably unnecessary to say that Savage Beach was a mess. I think “mess” is probably one of the words most commonly used in any review of an Andy Sidaris film. However, like most Sidaris films, the whole thing is too good-natured to really dislike. In fact, the plot is so incoherent that it actually becomes strangely fascinating.

Add to that, as a result of watching Savage Beach, I now know that you can safely undress and fly a plane at the same time. If I ever get my pilot’s license, I’ll be sure to remember that!