TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.17 “Wounds and Scars” (dir by James Foley)

Posted on April 26, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“It was like taking a hike to your favorite spot and finding a hole where the lake used to be.”

— Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) in Twin Peaks 2.17 “Wounds and Scars”

The year was 1991 and all was not well in the world of Twin Peaks. While, on the show, Leland Palmer murdered his daughter and Josie Packard died after killing Thomas Eckhardt, there was even more drama occurring behind-the-scenes.

Since the first season, the plan had always been for Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) to end up together. MacLachlan and Fenn had serious chemistry in their scenes together. As characters, Cooper and Audrey seemed like they belonged together. Even Cooper’s concerns about the age difference didn’t seem like that much of a problem. (After all, Audrey may have been a teenager but Sherilyn Fenn was not.) The show’s audience wanted them to end up together.

However, there was one problem.

Lara Flynn Boyle.

Kyle MacLachlan was dating Lara Flynn Boyle and, according to several people who worked on the show, Fenn and Boyle did not get along. With Boyle not particularly excited about the prospect of watching her boyfriend play love scenes with her rival, Kyle MacLachlan complained to the show’s producers that Cooper would never get together with Audrey because of their age difference. As a result, Billy Zane was hastily brought in to replace Cooper as Audrey’s love interest.

Personally, I’m not really sure that Cooper needed a love interest. During the first season, he was written as being so old-fashioned and upright that he was nearly asexual. (The only indication that Cooper even had a sex drive came when Laura kissed him in his dream and he smiled.) In the second season, Cooper became a little more, for lack of a better word, “human.” But he was still traumatized by the death of Caroline and he put his devotion to the Bureau above all else. Ideally, Cooper would have spent the entire show as a chaste Galahad.

Obviously, ABC disagreed. They wanted Cooper to have a girlfriend. We’ll see how this was handled in today’s episode.

So, without any further ado, let’s look at “Wounds and Scar!”

Following the opening credits, we get an extreme close-up of Harry Truman’s (Michael Ontkean) bloodshot eyes. He’s drinking at the Bookhouse. A saxophone wails on the soundtrack. That’s never a good sign. He’s having flashbacks to his time with the now dead Josie. Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) brings Harry a breakfast from the diner. Hawk tells Harry that everyone at the station is concerned.

“You and Cooper can handle it,” Harry says, “It’s a pretty simple town.”

Really? Twin Peaks is a simple town? What show have you been watching, Harry?

At the Diner, a new character steps through the front doors and — OH MY GOD! IT’S HEATHER GRAHAM! She’s playing Annie. It turns out that she’s Norma’s (Peggy Lipton) sister and she has just left a convent. Annie is going to be working at the diner. Heather Graham has really pretty hair.

Meanwhile, Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) is finishing his breakfast when the Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) walks up to him and touches the marks on his neck.

Back at the sheriff’s station, Hawk tells Cooper that Harry is about hit bottom. Cooper is frustrated with his lack of success in tracking down Windom Earle. Luckily, Hawk speaks exclusively in wise sayings. He suggests letting the rain fall where it may.

At the cabin (which, somehow, no one else seems to have stumbled across), Windom (Kenneth Welsh) sniffs the country air and tells his slave, Leo (Eric Da Re), that you can’t understand how wonderful country life is until you’ve lived it. It plays like a nice little parody of Cooper and Harry’s conversation about whittling in the pilot.

Windom checks the newspaper and gets upset over Cooper’s latest move. He says that Cooper is playing a stalemate game but he doesn’t know the meaning of stalemate. Neither do I, to be honest. I prefer checkers to chess. Windom then realizes that Cooper must be getting help and he throws a fit because he cannot stand people who don’t play by the rules. “Many people are going to regret this!”

Meanwhile, at the Great Northern, Audrey is demonstrating a proper runway walk while Dick (Ian Buchanan) hits on the models. Mr. Pinkle (David L. Lander) — the same guy who sold Bobby and Shelly the porto-patient device that didn’t really work out that well — shows up to tell Dick about the pine weasel. Mr. Pinkle is carrying a stuffed pine weasel but Dick says that they need a living pine weasel. Showing a stuffed animal at a benefit for an endangered species? That would be totally gauche.

Wheeler (Billy Zane) shows up to talk to Audrey about their dinner. They both try to apologize at the same time. Wheeler asks her to go on a picnic with him. And, hey — Billy Zane is cute and all but the Wheeler/Audrey romance feels totally forced. We all know that Audrey should either be with Cooper or killing ninjas in Hong Kong. Those are really the only two options.

Harry is still drinking at the Bookhouse. Cooper approaches and tells him about Josie’s sordid past. He says that Harry has to understand that Josie was a hardened killer. Harry yells at Cooper to go.

In her office, Catherine (Piper Laurie) looks over the plans for the Ghostwood Estatea when Jones (Brenda Strong) suddenly steps into the office and says that she’s there to expedite the transfer of Thomas and Josie’s bodies to Hong Kong. Jones says she has a gift from Thomas, so Catherine promptly pulls a gun. Calmly, Jones hands over a black box.

At the Hayward house, someone knocks on the door. Donna answer, only to find a friendly old man who claims to be named Dr. Gerald Craig. Dr. Craig says that he is an old friend of her father’s and he was just stopping by to see if old Doc Hayward was around and — wait a minute! That’s not Gerald Craig! That’s Windom Earle in disguise!

Donna asks Dr. Craig if he’d like to come inside and — DONNA, YOU IDIOT! DON’T JUST INVITE STRANGE MEN INTO YOUR HOUSE! In less than a month, a dozen people have died in Twin Peaks and Donna is still letting strange men into her house. Anyway, Dr. Craig gives Donna a small gift for her dad, makes her promise not to open it, and then leaves.

Meanwhile, Pete Martell (Jack Nance) is studying a dozen or so chess boards. Cooper comes in and Pete tells him that he’s studied every stalemate game in history but that there’s no way to play chess without losing at least a few pieces. No matter what happens, Pete says, at least six people are going to die. Cooper tells Pete to stick with it.

In the lobby, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and Andy (Harry Goaz) play chess. Lucy gets mad because Andy moved his knight “without doing the little hook thing.” “You don’t have to the little hook thing, that’s optional,” Andy says. Sound good to me, Andy! But, no, Pete explains that the hook thing is not optional.

Suddenly, Maj. Briggs and the Log Lady both step into the station. They’re concerned because both of them have the same three triangle pattern, Briggs on his neck and the Log Lady on the back of her leg. The Log Lady says that she got her mark when she was seven years old. She was walking in the woods when she saw a flash of light and heard an owl. When she returned home, she was told that she had been missing for a day.

Audrey and Wheeler are at their picnic. Wheeler is singing. C’mon, Audrey, are you actually falling for this? Go see Cooper before he meets Annie…

At the Hayward House, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) returns home with Mrs. Hayward (Mary Jo Deschanel) rolling along beside him. Donna tells them that Gerald Craig visited. Doc Hayward says that’s not possible. Gerald Craig was Doc’s roommmate. He drowned after a rafting accident. (So? Drowning never stopped Andrew Packard.) Mrs. Hayward calls the contact number that Dr. Craig left and it turns out to be the number of a cemetery. Doc Hayward unwraps Dr. Craig’s gift and it’s a chess piece!

At the gas station, Ed (Everett McGill) tries to talk to Nadine (Wendy Robie) about breaking up. Unfortunately, Ed needs a divorce but Nadine still thinks they’re in high school. Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) is there to try to help her understand what’s happening but he’s not much help. Nadine is more concerned about the fact that she just now noticed that she’s missing an eye.

Back at the Hayward House, someone else knocks on the door. This time, Mrs. Hayward answers and it’s Ben Horne (Richard Beymer). As Donna watches from the stairs, Ben whispers something in her mother’s ear and then kisses her.

At the diner, Peggy encourages Shelly (Madchen Amick) to enter the Miss Twin Peaks pageant. Meanwhile, Cooper has entered the diner and seen Annie and he’s immediately so overwhelmed by her attraction to him that he actually stammers. No, Cooper — AUDREY!

Before Cooper can fall any further in love, Hawk enters and tells him that they have a problem at the Bookhouse. Harry is destroying all of the furniture! When Cooper shows up, Harry calls him Deputy Dale and yells at him some more. This is the most emotion we’ve seen from Harry since the series began.

Uh-oh, Harry’s holding a gun and he doesn’t want to give it to Cooper. However, Harry eventually breaks down, shouts that Josie didn’t have to die, and then falls into Cooper’s arms. Cooper and Hawk put Harry to bed. Hawk says that Harry has never been like this before.

At the Great Northern, Mike (Gary Hershberger) and Nadine are getting a room under the name “Mr. and Mrs. Hinkman.” Seriously, the Great Northern looks way too expensive for just a one night stay. They should have gone to the motel and gotten an hourly room. Knowing Mike, they probably would have only needed it for 8 minutes or so.

In the ballroom, Ben Horne is thanking everyone for showing up at this charity fashion show. This is one of those plotlines that you’d never see today. Nobody has the guts to make fun of rich (and fake) environmentalists anymore. It’s a shame.

Anyway, the fashion show starts and there’s Dick describing each outfit. (I really love Ian Buchanan’s performance in this episode. He makes Dick into such a likable phony.) Lucy and Andy are two of the models. Good for them!

While the model walk the runway, Catherine approaches Ben and tells him that she knows he’s a just faking all of his environmental concern. Ben says that the experience of being accused of Laura’s murder and his subsequent bout with insanity have truly changed him.

Dick has Mr. Pinkle bring out a living pine weasel. Pinkle explains that the pine weasel is attracted to certain sells, like very cheap cologne. Of course, this immediately leads to the pine weasel leaping at Dick and biting down on his nose. Panic breaks out! Audrey nearly gets run over but luckily, Wheeler is there to literally sweep her off her feet and kiss her.

Meanwhile, at the Bookhouse, one deputy looks over the sleeping Harry. Jones sneaks up behind him and quickly knocks him unconscious. She places a gun on the nightstand beside Harry’s bed. She then undresses, lets down her hair, and lay down beside him…

End credits.

Overall, this was a pretty good episode except for the fact that we all know that Cooper and Audrey belong together. While I can understand Audrey’s flirtation with Wheeler, Cooper’s sudden attraction to Annie felt a bit out of character, a case of Twin Peaks trying a bit too hard.

Some would probably argue that the bit with the Pine Weasel was a bit overboard as well but I actually enjoyed that. Ian Buchanan’s performance saved that bit for me. Plus, wealthy environmentalists tend to be kind of smug so it’s always fun to see them satirized.

Up until this episode, I’ve had mixed feeling about Windom Earle but his scene with Donna was brilliantly creepy.

Tomorrow, we have “On the Wings of Love.”

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.16 “The Condemned Woman” (dir by Lesli Linka Glatter)

Posted on April 25, 2017 by Leonard Wilson

twin-peaks-sign

My apologies for the delay on this everyone.

“The Condemned Woman” refers to Josie Packard (Joan Chen), who has just about the worst day of her life in her episode.

It all begins with the items left by Windom Earle on Sheriff Truman’s (Michael Ontkean) desk. After listening to the tape recording, Truman notes that he’s not going to let Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) out of his sight. Cooper lets Truman know that if Windom really wanted him dead, it would have happened already. Looking over the chess board, they give a call to Lucy, to have Pete Martell (Jack Nance) come by the sheriff’s office as soon as they can. When he’s done with the phone, he finds Cooper gazing longingly at the face mask on the table.

“She was the love of my life, Harry.” Cooper says, speaking of Caroline Earle (Brenda Mathers).

We find Pete on the phone with Lucy, letting her know that he’ll be right over to the precinct as soon as he can. He then serves breakfast to Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie) and Andrew Packard (Dan O’Herlihy), who is surprised any the arrangement of his breakfast into a face. As the two have a good chuckle, Catherine interrupts by asking Pete to get the salt and paper. Pete does so, wishes them well, and then heads out. Over breakfast, Catherine asks about Ghostwood. Andrew informs her that everything’s set and she should be leaving for Paris the next day.

The door opens and Josie walks in, so shocked to find Andrew alive that she passes out on the floor. Not a good start for Josie in this episode.

In Truman’s office, Hawk (Michael Horse) brings in Hank (Chris Mulkey) who is arrested for the attempted murder of Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re). Hank says he’s not there, but Truman mentions he has a witness saying he’s there. Hank offers to be a witness regarding the murder for Andrew Packard, and points the finger at Josie. This causes Hawk to react and kick the crutches out from under Hank, making him collapse on the table before taking him out of the room. Truman has a moment of brief anger after Hank is escorted out.

In an adjacent office, Al Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) lays it all out. The bullets from a recently deceased individual match the ones pulled from Cooper’s torso, all leading to Josie Packard. Cooper asks Rosenfeld to hold off, as he’s going to speak with Josie and ask her to turn herself in.

Back at the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) receives an envelope before taking over the Concierge desk as part of her training. A young man (Billy Zane, Titanic), approaches the desk and asks to have his luggage brought in. He recognizes her and mentions he has a photo of her in a dress and pigtails, with fond memories. He remembers her playing as Heidi. She recalls the memory as well, though she was 10 at the time. Why is he holding on to that picture? Before she can say anything about it, he’s already left the table and is moving on. Going back to the envelope, she finds the right side of a torn paper with parts of messages. It contains words such as:

High heaven…

One another;

Be forgiven

Brother;

The earth

Kiss the sea:

Work worth

Me?

It also contains a message to meet at the Roadhouse at 9:30. Strange stuff, indeed.

We’re at Ed (Everett McGill) and Nadine’s (Wendy Robie). He’s fixed the damage to the shelves when Nadine arrives to inform him that she and Mike are in love. They had a wonderful time at their wrestling trip. At first, Ed is a little upset, but she reminds him that he and Norma (Peggy Lipton) are together, so why not? Nadine informs Ed it’s time to break up.

In the next scene, Cooper and Josie are talking about what they found. He tells her she has to come by the Precinct later today or he’s going to come hunting for her. When he leaves, Catherine (who’s been listening in the entire time) comes in and asks what’s wrong, pointing out all of the ways that Josie’s in trouble. Between Eckhardt coming after her and the police, she’s in a corner. It’s Piper Laurie playing the wicked role to a “T”, and she’s great in this scene. In the book-case, Catherine takes a pair of keys, leaving behind the Walter PPK, which Josie cradles. She may need that later on.

We’re at the Great Northern, and Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is in wonderful spirits after his recovery tied to the Civil War re-enactment Dr. Jacoby helped with. Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook), Audrey and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) are on hand. As they talk the young man Audrey met earlier enters the office and is introduced as John Justice Wheeler.

The Horne’s (with a Brigg) gather for a meeting.

At the sit down, Ben explains that Horne Industries is in a bad way. The lands once owned by them are now owned by the Martells. His plan includes a Pine Weasel, indigenous to Twin Peaks, but almost extinct. They plan to fight the Ghostwood Development with this, and if that works out, perhaps he’ll run for the Senate. If that storyline works out, it would be interesting if it’s referenced in the Revival next month. I’ll admit that I like this version of Ben Horne. He’s less of a weasel (for want of a better word) than what he was up until now.

At the RR Cafe, a man pays his tab and leaves. On the table where he sat is an envelope for Shelly (Madchen Amick). Norma is on the phone with her sister, and explains to Shelly that her sister Annie will be visiting her from a local convent. They both discover the envelope and Shelly opens it, revealing another part of the letter that was given to Audrey earlier. Shelly’s has the following:

Waves clasp…

Flower wo…

Ordained it’s….

Sunlight…

The moon beams…

A long lost love, found at last.

Along with this is the same notification to meet at the Roadhouse at 9:30. As they think about it, Ed comes into the cafe with a deeply focused look. He walks right up to Norma and tells her that he’s loved her for years and this is their time now. Ed gives Norma a sweet embrace, a sweeter kiss, and Shelly leaves them be with a smile. Nice one, Ed.

We’re outside somewhere, and Leo (Eric Da Re) is whittling a piece of wood into Arrows, though he doesn’t speak. The man we saw at the diner (Kenneth Welsh) talks to Leo while examining some arrowheads. They have something planned for Twin Peaks, though what that is, we’re not sure.

In prison, Norma visits Hank, who’s still bruised from getting beat up by Nadine.. Hank asks her to vouch for her to help get out, but she’s not having any of it. She’s leaving him, and that’s that. He tells her to give him an alibi and he’ll give her a divorce. She still won’t cave in, and to this, Hank calls her a whore.

Norma’s response made me laugh, given that Billy Zane is also in this episode. She uses a line that James Cameron would also use later on in his film Titanic (said to Billy Zane’s Character):

“I’d rather be his whore than your wife.”

That makes me wonder if Cameron was a fan of Twin Peaks. Anyway, Norma leaves a screaming Hank behind, heading off to her new life with Ed.

We’re at the conference room in the precinct, with Pete, Truman and Cooper mulling over a Chess board. Pete, after much deliberation, makes a move and states that it will take Windom Earle some time to counter that one in a way that would remove a chess piece and lead to another killing.

In walks Rosenfield, with some more news on the forensics report. He steps out into the hallway with Cooper, explaining that they matched the gunpowder on Josie’s gloves with the bullets from before, and they have a witness who saw her leave the location of the recently deceased. Though Cooper states he handles it, an upset Truman steps into the hall, staring at both men.

He knows. Truman leaves, heading for Josie’s.

We find Josie working on her makeup when Andrew walks into the room and offers her a drink. As they sit down and talk, it’s revealed that Andrew truly loved Josie very much, but the same couldn’t be said of Josie. When she asks for him to help her, Andrew tells her what Catherine said earlier, that she should speak with Eckhardt. On the way out, she calls to him. He tells her “We won’t speak again.”

This would have been a perfect time for Dan O’Herlihy to almost close the door, stop in reflection and then say to Josie “Oh, and Happy Halloween.” before leaving.

James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) are reunited after the escape from Evelyn’s. They’re at a picnic, and Donna wishes James well, though he has to leave Twin Peaks. They have a brief kiss and it’s a nice goodbye for James if he’s actually leaving.

Truman arrives at the Martell’s, looking for Josie. Pete and Catherine tell him that she’s off to the Great Northern, after everything that’s gone on with Eckhardt. Truman rushes off to find her.

The next scene is a great one between two veteran actors. Thomas Eckhardt (David Warner, Tron, The Omen, Time Bandits, Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze) and Andrew Packard, have a small talk in the elevator after revealing that Andrew is alive and well. The conversation is about Josie, making her sound like some sort of concubine. Andrew goes on to say that Josie loses her heart often, as she’s caught up with Sheriff Truman. Eckhardt mentions he’s taken care of that. But how, we’re left to wonder. Andrew warns Eckhardt that Josie is going to come back to him, and that’s a dangerous thing. He doesn’t get off of the elevator with Eckhardt, as he’s still considered dead to many.

Before Eckhardt leaves, Andrew calls out to him from the elevator, causing both men to pause.

“Happy Halloween.” I say, smiling, hoping O’Herlihy will say the same.

“Bye!!!” he simply says. Dammit.

Though it has nothing to do with the episode, I’d have loved to have heard Dan O’Herlihy say this.

In the main lounge of the Great Northern, Audrey, Ben and John Justice Wheeler are seated at a table. Ben asks John to be his teacher, as he’ll be the open book “upon whose virgin pages you shall scribe.” This causes Audrey to choke a little, given what she’s seen of her father. The new Ben is environmentally aware, lighting up a cigar and then putting it out at the realization. Before they can go into great detail, Ben is called away. This gives John (wishing to be called Jack) and Audrey some time to themselves. She’s a little defensive when it comes to Horne Industries and his help. Audrey asks him what he did, when he wasn’t saving the world. He states he was traveling all around, but that it’s good to be home, looking at her with a lifted brow.

“I’m only 18.” She responds with a swallow in her throat. Both Jack and I have the same reaction to this. “What does that have to do with the price of eggs?” He wasn’t coming on to her (at least, I didn’t take what was being said as such). Audrey recalls the envelope meeting and tells Jack she has to go, but that she’d be seeing him again.

I hope so, too. They seem like they’d make an interesting couple, if she can’t be with Cooper.

Someone’s leaving the women of Twin Peaks a love note, but who? And Why?

Donna finds Shelly at the bar. They make their greetings and Shelly asks Donna why she’s there. She mentions she received an envelope with part of a letter, which she lays down on the bar top. Shelly notices her letter and produces hers, laying it side by side. Audrey then appears and produces her own now. They’re able to read the complete letter:

“See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?”

It’s from Percy Bysshe Shelley, “Love’s Philosophy”, but none of the girls get the reason behind why it was sent. At the end of the bar, the man who was talking with Leo earlier watches them….watches them close.

Cooper gets a phone call in his room while learning how to Fly Fish. It’s cute how well he’s adjusting to Twin Peaks life. It’s Catherine, from the way the call sounds. Cooper says he’s going to come back there to retrieve Josie, but he’s told that Josie’s there at the Great Northern, in Thomas Eckhardt’s suite.

Cooper hangs up and grabs his gun. It’s go time.

As he walks through the hallway, he hears screaming, followed by a gunshot. Cooper bursts into the room, his gun drawn. Two figures can be seen laying in bed. One rises, revealing himself as Thomas Eckhardt, a gunshot wound in his torso. Eckhardt chuckles softly, takes a few steps and then drops to the floor, dead.

Josie is kneeled on the bed, her pistol trained on Cooper. When asked why she shot Cooper, Josie admits it was because he came to Twin Peaks and it would come to this day. Harry Truman enters the room. She then turns the pistol on him. She asks Harry to forgive him, and that she never meant to hurt him. Josie has something similar to a seizure and collapses on the bed, where Truman rushes to her aid.

It’s too late. Josie Packard, murderer of Thomas Eckhardt, shooter of Agent Cooper, and Truman’s love, loses her life. A bad day indeed.

Now here is where things get weird than they normally do on Twin Peaks. A bright light envelops the bed, and Cooper stares as BOB appears, asking “Coop!! What happened to Josie!?” in a roar. His figure is replaced by the Man From Another Place (Michael Anderson), who dances on the bed.

The light fades. Cooper’s left to wonder what he’s seen. The camera tilts to a nearby dresser, where we can see Josie or (Josie’s Soul) screaming, her face pushing through the woodwork of a dresser knob. Could the Great Northern be the Black Lodge Hawk was talking about? Why is Cooper seeing BOB after they got rid of him through Leland Palmer?

Josie Packard, meeting her fate.

Goodness, this show is so strange. It’s a better one than it deserves to be, and happily closes some of the loops, tightening up the story. No more James, No more Josie. Hopefully, the last six episodes made for a sharper tale.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.15 “Slaves and Masters” (dir by Diane Keaton)

Posted on April 24, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Get a life, punk!”

— Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) in Twin Peaks 2.15 “Slaves and Masters”

Well, it had to happen some time.

We have reached the “Slave and Masters” episode of Twin Peaks. Judging from what I’ve read online, most fans seem feel that this episoode was the worst in the show’s history. Myself, I don’t know whether it is or isn’t. I’m writing this introduction before watching the episode. I guess I’ll know soon enough.

Interestingly enough, this episode was directed by actress Diane Keaton. When I first saw Keaton’s name listed as director, I assumes that she must have been a fan of the show and that she lobbied for the chance to direct an episode. However, according to Relections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks by Brad Dukes, the opposite was true. While the cast all liked and respected Keaton as a director, there was also a feeling that she didn’t seem to actually know much about the show. Considering that the show had suffered a severe ratings decline during the 2nd season, it seems probable that Keaton was hired to direct in an attempt to generate some new interest in the once hot show.

If that was the plan, it didn’t work. Apparently, the ratings for this episode were so low that Twin Peaks was put on hiatus a week after it aired. It was only due to a letter-writing campaign that ABC decided to air the last six episodes of the season. In short, it can be argued that this episode was truly the beginning of the end for Twin Peaks‘s original network run.

So, with all that in mind, let’s take a look at the 23rd episode of Twin Peaks, “Slaves and Masters.”

As always, we begin with the haunting opening credits and Angelo Badalamenti’s lushly romantic (yet ominously threatening) score. The mood has been set. We have returned to the world of Twin Peaks.

After the credits, we immediately cut to a close-up of a chess board. In slow motion, the camera glides over all of the pieces. The Queen, The pawns, the King, the Bishop, the little horsey guy. (I don’t know much about chess, sorry.)

Suddenly, we’re no longer looking at chess pieces. Instead, the camera is panning up the legs of Evelyn Marsh (Annette McCarthy), who is dressed in black and even wearing a black veil and — OH MY GOD, HAS THIS STORYLINE NOT BEEN RESOLVED YET!? Seriously, when people talk about Season 2 not being as inspired as Season 1, they’re talking about this half-assed film noir rip-off that James (James Marshall) rode into after he hopped on his motorcycle and left Twin Peaks. From the minute that Evelyn first showed up, I knew exactly what was going to happen with her, James, and her husband. Much like the whole Audrey kidnapping subplot, the Evelyn Marsh subplot should not have lasted any longer than an episode and a half. Instead, it’s still going on!

Anyway, the cops are talking to Evelyn and Malcolm (Nicholas Love) about how someone might have killed her husband. Malcolm is quick to blame James but Evelyn seems a little bit more conflicted about it. There is a funny moment when Malcolm says that James was hired to fix the Jaguar and the cop can’t figure out how to spell Jaguar. That made me laugh but, otherwise, this whole scene felt predictable and unnecessary.

Meanwhile, at Wallie’s Bar, a dozen cops are sitting at the bar, smoking cigars and listening to opera music. (Weird image is weird but it’s just weirdness for the sake of weirdness.) James and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) are in a corner of the bar. Donna says that they need to get help but James is all like, “I don’t need nobody!” He says that Malcolm framed him and that he just needs to talk to Evelyn.

Donna goes to call Ed but ends up having to talk to Nadine instead. Though we only hear Donna’s side of the conversation, it sounds like Nadine is talking about her new boyfriend. If her new boyfriend is Mike (Gary Hershberger) than that means that Nadine is now dating Donna’s ex and yet, Donna seems to be remarkably okay with that.

Back at the Sheriff’s station, Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) are interrogating Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick). Bobby wants to know why Harry and Cooper aren’t making more of an effort to track down Leo. Cooper asks Bobby about the night that the mill burned down. Bobby lies and says that Hank Jennings shot Leo.

Harry says that he’ll have some deputies watch the house. Bobby claims that he’s all the protection that Shelly needs. (For some reason, Bobby is acting like a methhead in this scene.) When Bobby and Shelly leave, they pass Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer), who takes one look at Bobby and shouts, “Get a life, punk!”

(We love you, Albert!)

After giving Harry an out-of-character bear hug (but that’s okay because I like it when dudes hug it out), Albert explains that he’s been sent to Twin Peaks by Gordon Cole. He has brought with him a picture of Windom Earle, in which Windom looks like an extra in a 1930s gangster movie. He also brings the news that Windom has been mailing different pieces of clothing to police agencies across the country.

Windom has mailed:

1. A white veil

2. A garter

3. A pair of white slippers

4. A peal necklace

5. A wedding dress

Oh my God, I said as Albert listed the items, Windom Earle is marrying Pippa Middleton!

Cooper says that the clothing belonged to Windom’s dead wife (and Cooper’s ex-lover), Caroline. Albert says that Windom is definitely making his move and then says that Cooper looks good in the muted earth tones of a flannel shirt. That was nice of Albert.

Meanwhile, in his cabin, Windom Earle (Kenneth Welsh) plays a flute while Leo (Eric Da Re) lies on the floor. (I have to be honest that these cabin scenes between Windom and Leo made me think about Peter Boyle burning down Gene Hackman’s hut in Young Frankenstein.) Once Leo wakes up, Windom — who was previously described as having a mind like a diamond, cold and precise — starts acting like a Satanic little wood sprite. He jumps around the cabin. He says a lot of evil quips. He beats Leo with a flute and then reveals that he’s placed a collar around Leo’s neck. Windom can electrocute Leo whenever he feels like it. Windom forces Leo to eat gruel while Windom pretends to be a kitty cat. “Purrrr,” he says.

(Windom’s a genius so why is he acting like a sadistic towel manager?)

We cut to Ed (Everett McGill) laying in bed with Norma (Peggy Lipton) and talking about how it’s been twenty years since they first fell in love. They agree that it’s sucked not being together. Suddenly, they hear Nadine (Wendy Robie) arriving home. Norma starts to leave but Ed says, “No, no. We may as well talk to her now.” Sure, Ed — have this conversation with Nadine while you and Norma are laying in bed in your underwear. That’ll really avoid any hurt feelings.

Suddenly, Nadine rips the bedroom door off of its hinges. She comes into the room, carrying a wrestling trophy, and then jumps into bed with Ed and Norma. Nadine apologizes for beating up Hank and then says that she knows about the two of them. Nadine says it’s okay because she’s in love with Mike now.

Cut to the Martell house, where Harry and Cooper are talking to Josie (Joan Chen) about what happened to her in Seattle. Josie says she doesn’t know who killed Jonathan. Harry begs Josie to tell him the truth. Out of nowhere, a surprisingly cheerful Cooper announces, “I think I’ll get another cup of Joe!”

(Somewhere, Joe Biden looks up and says, “Oh my God, they’re talking about me in an old episode of Twin Peaks!” No, Joe, they’re not. Sorry. Maybe later.)

While Cooper’s getting more coffee, Pete (Jack Nance) stumbles in. He has picked up the dry cleaning and can barely see above all of the clothes that he’s holding. He and Cooper do that thing where, instead of being smart and putting the clothes somewhere first, they stand around and attempt to have a conversation, despite the fact that Pete is about fall over backwards. When the phone rings, Pete gives the clothes to Cooper and now its Cooper’s turn to struggle to remain standing. Eventually, Cooper puts the clothes on a chair (was that so hard!?) and then picks one thread off of a jacket.

Speaking of Josie, the phone call was for her. It turns out that the call is from Thomas Eckhardt (David Warner) and he is wondering if he and Josie could get together. Thomas reveals that he is responsible for Jonathan’s death.

After hanging up the phone, Thomas and his assistant, Jones (Brenda Strong), stare at a black trunk.

Meanwhile, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is apparently still convinced that he’s a Civil War general because he’s talking to Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) about Stonewall Jackson. Much like all that stuff with Evelyn Marsh, this is a plotline that should have been resolved after an episode and a half. Instead, it’s been dragged out way past the point of being amusing. The Ben-Goes-Crazy storyline is the epitome of how Season 2 abandoned surrealism in favor of just being weird for the sake of being weird.

It turns out that Ben and Jacoby have an audience. Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) are listening. Johnny Horne (Robert Bauer) is rocking back and forth while wearing a Native American headdress. And there’s a few members of the Hotel Staff, who have been transformed into some sort of marching band.

While Ben rants in his really crummy Southern accent, Jerry and Audrey leave the office. Audrey is worried about her father but Jerry seems to be fairly indifferent. (Needless to say, this goes against everything that we’ve previously seen about Jerry and his relationship with Ben.) Audrey points out that, conveniently enough, she is set to inherit the entire Horne business empire if anything happens to Ben and that Jerry better do what she says or she’ll cut him off.

Audrey returns to Ben’s office, where Dr. Jacoby looks perplexed. Audrey walks up to him and says she wants her father to turn back to normal. Jacoby says that he’s got it all taken care of. Bobby shows up, dressed like a Confederate soldier. Ben sings Dixie. Can this storyline just end, please!?

Meanwhile, at Walli’s, Evelyn is still dressed in black. Though the bar appears to be closed (there are chairs on the tables and everything), Evelyn is drinking. Suddenly, Donna walks up to her. Why is Donna still there? How much school can you miss in Twin Peaks? Why are Evelyn and Donna both hanging out in a bar that appears to be closed?

Suddenly, the bartender wanders by, lingering just long enough for Evelyn to order Donna a drink, “one that has a little umbrella in it.” Okay, is this bar closed or open? If it’s open, why are the tables covered in chairs? This stuff is confusing, especially for a non-drinker like me.

Anyway, Donna gets mad when Evelyn says that she won’t help James. Evelyn explains that life is crap. (Her words.) Suddenly, Malcolm (Nicholas Love) shows up and tells Evelyn to go home. He then threatens Donna and Donna reacts by yelling and then crying.

Back at the station, Albert reveals that the thread that Cooper found was from the carpet outside of Cooper’s hotel room. Apparently, this proves that it was Josie who shot Cooper at the end of Season 1. Bad Josie!

After swearing Albert to secrecy, Cooper heads to Harry’s office, where Harry is playing darts. Harry tells Cooper that the dead vagrant has been identified as being Eric Powell, a former member of the Merchant Marines.

“Powell was Caroline’s maiden name!” Cooper says.

Cooper says that this is all a big chess game to Windom. Harry says that, if Cooper needs a chess expert, they have one of the best right in town. And his name is Pete Martell!

At the diner, Pete shows of his mad chess skills by playing and winning four games at once. Cooper is impressed and invites Pete to help him play Windom’s chess game. Pete better be good because, every time that Cooper loses a piece, Windom is going to kill an innocent person.

Shelly walks into the diner and asks Norma if she needs any help. Norma hires her back. Then Harry shows up and says that he needs to talk to Norma. They slip into the kitchen where Harry explains that Hank is going away for a long time. Norma’s okay with that but I’m not. Hank may be a sociopath but he’s hella charming.

That night, Thomas shows up at the Martell house, where he is greeted by Catherine (Piper Laurie). Thomas appears to be slightly surprised by the sight of Josie in her maid’s uniform. Thomas and Catherine drink wine, eat dinner, and discuss art and killing. It quickly becomes apparent that Thomas has shown up to take Josie and that Catherine is more than willing to allow him to do that, for a price.

Meanwhile, at the Marsh house, Evelyn is stunned when James shows up in the living room and demands to know why Evelyn killed her husband and attempted to frame him. James says that it was hella lame to manipulate him with everything that he’s been going through. Evelyn confesses to everything. She says that she set James up. She says she did it for the money and also just because she felt like doing it.

Suddenly, Malcolm barges into the room and knocks James out. Malcolm says that they can now kill James and claim that it was self-defense. And you know what? He has a point. Bye, James.

Meanwhile, Ben and the gang recreate another Civil War battle. This whole Civil War subplot is so freaking stupid that I don’t even feel like talking about it anymore. While pretending to be General U.S. Grant, Dr. Jacoby announces that he’s surrendering. Having won the Civil War, Ben proceeds to faint. When he wakes up, Ben says that he had the strangest dream about being a general during the Civil War. He even does the whole “And you were there …. and you … and you!” thing. Anyway, Ben appears to be back to normal.

At the cabin, Windom is putting on a disguise. He continues to torment Leo with the electroshock collar.

At the Marsh mansion, James is still unconscious on the floor while Malcolm and Evelyn look down on him. Donna watches from outside the window. When Malcolm repeats that they can kill James and make it look like self-defense, Donna runs into the living room and screams, “NO!”

As Evelyn watches Donna cry over a motionless James, she stands up. Uh-oh, she’s got a gun. Evelyn shoots Malcolm and then says that she’ll frame Malcolm for her husband’s death though I don’t think it’ll be that difficult a frame-up because Malcolm is actually guilty.

At the Great Northern, Cooper walks down a hallway and stops in front of an elevator. He looks at a picture of Caroline that he has in his wallet. As he does this, a poorly disguised Windom Earle steps off the elevator. Windom goes to the front desk an drops off a note for Audrey. (Oh, goddamnit, is this going to be the start of yet another Audrey-gets-kidnapped storyline?) He also notices several postcards that all feature owls. “Owls,” he says.

Cooper arrives back at his room. He finds a white mask on his bed. Windom Earle has been there and he’s left a taunting message. The episode ends with Windom’s line: “It’s your move.”

Agck!

As for this episode, it definitely felt a bit off. The main problem is that it focused on two largely uninteresting subplots — Evelyn Marsh and the Civil War — and portrayed Windom Earle as so cartoonishly evil that it’s hard to believe that he could also be the villainous mastermind that Cooper’s spent the last few episodes describing. It was a weak episode but at least it finished off the whole Evelyn Marsh thing.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.14 “Double Play” (directed by Uli Edel)

Posted on April 23, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome back to Twin Peaks!

Last episode, Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) returned from the land of missing and brought with him a tale of the White Lodge. Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) obsessed over the Civil War. James Hurley (James Marshall) found himself trapped in a second-rate film noir. Jean Reanult (Michael Parks) was finally killed but, when Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Harry (Michael Ontkean) returned to the sheriff’s station, they discovered that someone had left them a present: a dead man sitting in front of a chess board.

Things start with the station still in darkness. Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost), Harry, and Cooper are looking over the dead man’s body. The first thing that they discover is that a chess pawn has been stuffed in his mouth. When Cooper correctly guesses that the dead man will have a stab wound in his chest, severing the aorta, Harry deduces that this is not the first time that Cooper has seen something like this.

Cooper says that he knows that his former partner, Windom Earle, is responsible. He guesses that the victim was a vagrant who was offered a lift by Earle. (In reality, the victim was played by Craig MacLachlan, brother of Kyle.) Earle stabbed the man and then set off the explosion in the woods. When everyone was distracted, Earle carried the body into the station. “Windom Earle has been in this room,” Cooper says, “I can still feel his presence.”

At the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) makes a deal with Bobby (Dana Ashrbook). She wants Bobby to help her bring her father back from “limbo land.” “From now on, Bobby,” Audrey says, “I’m the one you suck up to.”

“What about Shelly?” Bobby asks.

“What about Shelly?” Audrey replies.

Speaking of Shelly, she is in trouble because Leo (Eric Da Re) has suddenly woken up and now she’s trapped in a dark house, with no power and a very angry husband. Fortunately, Bobby arrives home right when Leo is about to attack Shelly with an axe. When Leo attacks Bobby instead, Shelly stabs Leo in the leg with a kitchen knife. Like an unmasked Jason Voorhees, the wounded Leo staggers off into the woods while Bobby and Shelly embrace.

The next morning, back at the station, Cooper watches as the body is wheeled away. Harry gives Cooper a cup of coffee and tells Cooper that, until he is reinstated in the FBI, he is still a deputy. “If you want this case,” Harry says, “it’s yours.”

Out in the front lobby, Andy (Harry Goaz) tells Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) that he has to talk to her about Nicky. Andy explains that he and Dick have been doing some detective work and they think that Nicky may have murdered his parents.

“He’s nine years old,” Lucy says.

“We know,” Andy nods, “we think he was six at the time of the crime.”

Lucy is not amused.

At the Marsh place, James is working on another one of classic cars when Jeffrey Marsh (John Apicella) walks up and introduces himself. He says that he’s envious of James’s carefree lifestyle. He says that he’d love to talk to James about the cars later in the day but James says that he should probably be moving on. Evelyn (Annette McCarthy) walks up and says that she is sure that she can find all sorts of things for James to do around the house. James walks back inside the garage and Jeffrey drives away in the car that James just finished working on. As Evelyn looks off in the distance, there is the sound of screeching tires and a car crash.

At the diner, Ed (Everett McGill) is having a cup of coffee of Doctor Hayward. Ed is worried because Nadine wants to start dating boys and, since she’s She-Hulk now, Ed worries that Nadine could kill them with her sex drive. Doctor Hayward suggests that Ed tell her to be home by 9:00 on school nights. I could be wrong but I don’t think Doctor Hayward is taking Nadine’s condition very seriously.

Doctor Hayward is actually more concerned about Donna, who took the van that morning to go see James. Ed explains that Donna is taking James some money, presumably all twelve of the dollars that were in James’s bank account.

After the doctor leaves, Norma (Peggy Lipton) sits down across from Ed. She says that Hank is in the hospital. He says that a tree fell on him but Ed tells her that Nadine actually beat him up. Norma is happy because, once Hank gets out of the hospital, he will be going back to prison for violating his parole.

At the sheriff’s station, Cooper and Harry are staring at the chess board that Windom Earle placed in front of the dead man. Cooper explains that he and Earle played a game of chess every day for three years. Earle thought that all the answers to life’s mysteries could be found in the game of chess.

Cooper explains that Windom Earle was his first partner. Everything that he learned about the law and the bureau he learned from Windom Earle. Cooper tells the story (the same one that he told Audrey earlier) of how, four years ago, he fell in love with a woman named Caroline who was a material witness to a federal crime and how, when she was attacked, Cooper was not prepared and could not save her life. Cooper adds the detail that she was stabbed, in the same way as the vagrant. Cooper also reveals that Caroline was Windom Earle’s wife.

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) arrives at a bar called Wallies, looking for James. James is not there but Evelyn is. “You look like someone who needs help,” Evelyn says. When Donna says she’s looking for James, Evelyn says that James did some work for her and then left for Mexico. Donna leaves, presumably taking James’s twelve dollars with her.

At the Great Northern, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn), Audrey, and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) watch as Ben continues to play with his little army men. Ben thinks that Jerry is General J.E.B. Stuart. Ben assures everyone that they are marching forward and only God can stop them. “The almighty is a Southerner,” Ben declares. Dr. Jacoby explains that if Ben can reverse the defeat of the Confederacy then he will also reverse his own recent mental defeats. Jacoby and Ben start to sing Dixie.

At the sheriff’s station, Major Briggs stumbles in, says that he needs to see Harry, and then collapses.

When he comes to, Major Briggs explains to Harry and Cooper that, when his superiors questioned him about his disappearance, they exhibited a degree of “intolerance and suspicion” that apparently left Briggs feeling traumatized. Briggs goes on to explain that, during his disappearance, he believes that he was taken to the White Lodge. Briggs goes on to say that there will be much trouble ahead. “I will return,” Briggs says, “but until that time, I will be in the shadows if you need me.”

As Briggs leaves, Andy enters the office and tells Cooper and Harry that he needs to show them something. He leads them to the conference room, where Dr. Jacoby announces that he has spent the last few hours talking to Lana Milford (Robyn Lively) and he has found no evidence of her being crazy or cursed. There is no way that Lana is responsible for Dougie’s death, Jacoby says. Jacoby goes on to say that Lana has a heightened sexual drive and skills that few men could ever hope to experience. Jacoby announces that he and Lana are going to go bowling but, as soon as they step out of the office, they run into Mayor Milford (John Boylan), who was a rifle and who demands that nobody move.

The Mayor wants blood but Cooper has a solution. He takes the rifle and then locks Milford and Lana in the conference room together. After a few minutes, Lana and the Mayor are in love and talking about adopting a child.

At the Martell house, Pete (Jack Nance) tells Catherine (Piper Laurie) that they forgot to pick up the hot dogs. Catherine is more interested in telling Pete the true story of how she survived the fire and marshaled the resources to defeat Ben. She reveals that her brother (and Josie’s husband), Andrew Packard (Dan O’Herlihy), is not actually dead and he’s sitting in the study. Andrew explains that he and Catherine faked his death in a boating accident because a contract had been taken out on Andrew’s life by Andrew’s former business partner, Thomas Eckhardt. Catherine also reveals that Josie works for Thomas Eckhardt and that Eckhardt will be returning to Twin Peaks to rescue her from having to work as Catherine’s maid.

At the exact same time, Thomas Eckhardt (DAVID WARNER!) and his assistant, Jones (Brenda Strong), are checking into the Great Northern.

At the sheriff’s station, Lucy is sick of both Andy and Dick (Ian Buchanan) so she brings Doctor Hayward in to talk to both of them. Doctor Hayward explains that he called the orphanage and that Nicky is no murderer. Nicky’s mother was a chamber maid at the Great Northern and his father was a man who fled back to Canada following the back alley assault that led to Nicky’s conception. Hayward explains that Nicky’s mom died in childbirth. Nicky was adopted by a loving couple who died in an icy car crash. Six year-old Nicky heroically attempted to pull his adoptive parents to safety but failed. Andy and Dick both start to cry.

Harry gets an alert from Seattle, telling him that the man who Josie left with, the one who Josie claims that she merely escaped from, has been found murdered. Since Cooper is now a deputy, Harry orders Cooper to find out if Josie killed him. For once, Harry gets to order Cooper around.

At the Marsh house, James is packing his stuff when Evelyn comes in and swears the she is in love with him. Evelyn says that there’s been an accident and Jeffrey’s dead. James immediately figures out that Evelyn killed her husband and set him up to take the fall. Evelyn says that it was Malcolm’s idea and that Malcom isn’t really her brother. As the police arrive outside, Evelyn tells James to run and go find “that young girl who loves you.”

As James tries to sneak out of the house without being spotted by the cops, he runs into Donna, who is hiding behind a tree. They run off while Evelyn talks to the police.

In the woods, a dazed and confused Leo comes across a cabin. Inside the cabin, a man (Kenneth Welsh) plays a flute and invites Leo to enter. The man sits down in front of a chess board and introduces himself as Windom Earle.

End credits.

This episode shares the same flaws as a lot of season 2. There are a lot of good scenes, like Leo menacing Shelly and Bobby or the introduction of Windom Earle, but there are also scenes that are just too cartoonish, like anything involving the Mayor and Lana. This episode was the first and only episode to be directed by German director Uli Edel and he does a pretty good job, putting his own unique spin on the show’s signature style.

Tomorrow: “Slaves and Masters,” in which Cooper gets unexpected help in his chess game against Windom Earle.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.10 “Dispute Between Brothers” (directed by Tina Rathbone)

Posted on April 19, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The 10th episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks opens with a shot of Laura and Leland Palmer’s pictures on the mantle and a title card telling us that it has been three days since Leland’s death.

At the Palmer house, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) is preparing to bury her husband. Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost) tries to give her a shot, which she refuses. Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) assures her that Leland did not actually kill her daughter.

(It’s interesting to note that this episode was directed by Tina Rathone, whose last episode also featured a funeral.)

At Leland’s wake, the entire cast has shown up and they’ve all brought food. Nadine (Wendy Robie) is dressed like a 1950s teenager. Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) wonders if people are invited to wakes or if they just show up. Hank (Chris Mulkey) grabs all the food that he can. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) tells Ed (Everett McGill) that James is blaming himself for everything that happened. Ed promises Donna that James will eventually come back. Speaking of coming back, Doctor Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) has finally returned from Hawaii and arrived just in time for the wake.

Cooper tells Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) that he has some vacation time coming up so he will be sticking around town for at least a few more days. The Major invites Cooper to go night fishing.

Twin Peaks’s elderly mayor, Dwayne Milford (John Boylan) throws a swing at his equally elderly brother, Dougie (Tony Jay), the owner of the town’s newspaper. As Harry and Ed pull them apart, Pete (Jack Nance) tells Cooper that Dougie and Dwayne have had a running feud for over 50 years. Cooper says he’s really going to miss Twin Peaks.

Fade to commercial.

When the show returns, Ed and Jacoby are at Twin Peaks High School and trying to talk the vice principal (Don Calfa) into admitting 35 year-old Nadine as a member of the senior class. Nadine runs into the office and tells them to hurry up because class is about to start and she wants to try out for cheerleader.

Cooper is in his hotel room, packing. Audrey comes in, says that she’s from customer relations, and asks if his stay has been satisfactory. Audrey asks if Cooper’s just going to leave and break her heart. Cooper explains that he can’t get involved with anyone who was involved in any of his cases. Cooper explains that he once fell in love with a material witness. He was supposed to protect her but, when the attempt was made on her life, he was not prepared and she died in his arms.

At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) is trying on Leo’s (Eric Da Re) suit. Bobby is going to try to convince Ben into giving him a job. Shelly (Madchen Amick) is already getting bored with her new life.

At the sheriff’s station, Harry walks into his office and finds Catherine (Piper Laurie) waiting for him.

“Hello, Harry,” Catherine says.

“Forgive me for saying so, Catherine,” Harry replies, “but aren’t you dead?”

Catherine shrugs. She explains that, after the explosion at the mill, she woke up in the woods with no knowledge of how she got there. She says that a guardian angel must have rescued her. She spent a week living in the woods, eating only tuna fish. Harry asks what made her come back. Catherine says that she ran out of tuna fish.

In the lobby, Dick (Ian Buchanan) tells Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) that he wants to talk about their “bambino.” Dick says he wants to be a father, he believes the child is his, and that he’s enrolled in parenting classes. After hiding around the corner and listening to the conversation, Andy (Harry Goaz) walks into the lobby and says that, for the sake of the baby, they should all be friends. As Andy later explains to Hawk (Michael Horse), the key to Lucy’s heart lies in “morals and manly behaviors.”

Cooper stops by Harry’s office to say goodbye. Harry gives Cooper a parting gift of a special fishing lure and a Book House Boy patch. Cooper then says goodbye to Hawk, Andy, and Lucy. However, the goodbyes are interrupted by the arrival of FBI Agent Roger Hardy (Clarence Williams III) and Preston King (Gavan O’Herlihy) of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

(Long before they both appeared on Twin Peaks, Clarence Williams III and Peggy Lipton co-starred on The Mod Squad. Gavan O’Herlihy is the son of Dan O’Herlihy. Best known for playing Conal Cochran in Halloween III, Dan will join the cast of Twin Peaks in one more episode. As for Gavan, he is probably best known for playing Chuck Cunningham during the first season of Happy Days and getting shot by Charles Bronson in Death Wish II.)

Roger tells Cooper that he has been suspended from the FBI. Cooper’s raid on One-Eyed Jack’s was a violation of FBI policy because it involved crossing the border into Canada. Roger says that there are other allegations as well but they’re waiting for the evidence to arrive. Roger explains that King was involved in a sting operation to capture Jean Renault and that Cooper’s actions screwed it up. Also, the cocaine that King was using as a part of the operation disappeared after Cooper’s raid. Roger tells Cooper that he has 24 hours to assemble his defense.

At the Great Northern, Audrey helps Bobby get into Ben’s office but Ben (Richard Beymer) immediately has Bobby tossed out. Audrey saves Bobby from Ben’s goons. In order to thank her, Bobby buys Audrey an ice cream cone. “I like to lick,” Audrey says.

At Twin Peaks High School, Nadine tries out for cheerleader. Nadine now has Hulk-like super strength now, which she demonstrated by picking up a student and throwing him through the air.

Bobby calls Shelly to tell her about the meeting. While Shelly talks on the phone about how they have to put Leo in a home, Leo moves forward in his wheel chair. “He moved!” Shelly says, shocked.

At the diner, Norma (Peggy Lipton) takes the fancy table cloths off the tables and complains to Vera (Jane Greer) about a bad review that the Double R got from the mysterious travel writer, M.T. Wentz. Vivian reveals that she’s M.T. Wentz and she gave her own daughter’s diner a negative review. Vera says that she can’t violate her professional ethics.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank and Ernie (James Booth) are chasing women and acting like fools. Hank is pressuring Ernie to steal Vera’s money. Ernie says he could never do that, he’s gone straight. That’s when Hank introduces Ernie to his new employer, Jean Renault (Michael Parks). Jean is looking for someone to serve as a money launderer and Ernie agrees, bragging that he has set up deals for everyone from the Colombians to the Bolivians. Jean is pleased and introduces Ernie to his other partner, Preston King of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

That night, Harry is woken up by someone knocking on the door to his cabin. When he opens the door, Josie (Joan Chen), who was supposed to be in Seattle, stumbles in and collapses.

In the woods, Cooper and Major Briggs are camping, roasting marshmallows, and discussing right and wrong. Briggs says that it is some men’s fate to face great darkness. Briggs asks if Cooper has ever heard of the White Lodge. Cooper says he hasn’t but he looks forward to hearing more about it. Cooper then goes off to relieve himself. There is a flash of white light. “Cooper!” Briggs shouts as a hooded man appears in the woods. Cooper runs back to the camp, just to discover that Briggs has vanished.

This uneven episode finds Twin Peaks struggling to establish an identity after the conclusion of the Laura Palmer storyline. For me, the highlight was Leland’s wake, which showed Twin Peaks as a community. Nadine’s adventures in high school may be cartoonish but they hold up better than I thought they would. Finally, this was the first episode to mention that all-important White Lodge.

Tomorrow, both David Duchovny and Dan O’Herlihy join the cast in Masked Ball.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.8 “Drive With A Dead Girl” (dir by Caleb Deschanel)

Posted on April 17, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“In our world, he’s a shoe salesman and lives among the shadows.”

— Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.8 “Drive With a Dead Girl”

As always, this episode of Twin Peaks starts with the opening credits and, after 15 episodes, Angelo Badalamenti’s theme music has never sounded more haunting and the images of life in Twin Peaks — that mix of machinery and nature — has never seemed more ominous. Things that seemed quaintly beautiful when they were first seen — like the waterfall or that bird sitting in trees — now seem threatening.

The opening credits give us time to reflect on what we’ve seen so far. We’ve seen the venal Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) repeatedly ignore his own family in the pursuit of money. We’ve seen Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re) abuse his wife, Shelly (Madchen Amick). As of the previous episode, we now know Leland Palmer (Ray Wise), previously one of the show’s most sympathetic characters, not only murdered and raped his own daughter but then killed his niece as well.

You have to wonder if Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) still considers Twin Peaks to be “heaven,” just because it’s a town where “a yellow light means slow down instead of speed up.”

We open with an exterior shot of the Palmer house. We can hear Maddy (Sheryl Lee), once again, screaming for help.

The next morning, the Palmer house is quiet. Inside the living room, the camera moves over several pictures of Laura. One is of her as a child. Another is that famous homecoming photo. We hear the sound of Leland laughing and immediately notice that there seem to be a lot of golf balls on the floor. The camera pulls back to show us Leland, wearing a suit and looking disturbing cheerful, practicing his golf swing.

James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) knock on the front door. They say that they came by to say goodbye to Maddy but Leland tells them that Maddy has already left. He tells them that she thought they were going to come by the previous night and that she was a little bit disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to them. Smiling like a father from a 1950s sitcom (and, at this point, it’s definitely not a coincidence that Twin Peaks, as a town, often seems to be a relic of a decade that is often thought of as being both “the good old days” and a symbol of repression), Leland says that they could write to her in Montana if they want.

(Today, Leland would never get away with this. James and Donna would be texting Maddy like crazy.)

After James and Donna leave, Leland glances in a mirror and sees BOB (Frank Silva) staring back at him. From upstairs, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie), who apparently remembers nothing about the previous night, asks Leland to remember to sign them up for “Glenn Miller Night at the club.”

“Don’t worry, dear,” Leland says, with a big and creepy grin, “I won’t forget.”

Before leaving for the club, Leland grabs his golf bag out of the closet. Briefly, we catch a glimpse of Maddy, stuffed inside the bag.

(AGCK! Seriously, Leland/BOB has got to be one of the scariest things ever.)

In his holding cell, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) wins my sympathy by 1) being an innocent man accused of a terrible crime and 2) obsessively trying to wipe down the bars of his cell. Seriously, that’s one reason why I could never handle being arrested. Put me in one of the filthy cells and I can guarantee you that I’d do whatever I had to do to get out of there.

A cheerful Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) shows up to see Ben and I was happy that he did. Jerry may be one of the most cartoonish characters on Twin Peaks (and that’s saying something!) but, after spending all that time with Leland/BOB, Jerry’s silliness is a relief. Jerry has just returned from Japan and he even has a small Japanese flag pinned to his suit.

Jerry explains that, since Leland has been charged with murdering Jacques Renault, he will be handling Ben’s case personally. (Of course, neither realizes that Leland is also responsible for the murder that Ben has been charged with.) Unfortunately, Jerry doesn’t appear to be a very good attorney.

However, Jerry is impressed by the fact that Ben has bunk beds, which leads to an odd flashback of Ben and Jerry, as children, watching a woman named Louise Dombroski dancing in their bedroom while holding a flashlight. (Even as children, Ben wore suit and Jerry wore a bowtie.)

“Lord,” Jerry says, from the top bunk in Ben’s jail cell, “what’s become of us?”

Meanwhile, Lucy’s (Kimmy Robertson) back! She shows up with her sister, Gwen (Kathleen Wilhoite), who is telling a long story involving a rusty nail and a purple toe. (I tuned her out because rusty nails freak me out.) Lucy asks Hawk (Michael Horse) if he’s seen Andy (Harry Goaz). Gwen, meanwhile, worries that Hawk “must hate all of us white people after all that we’ve done to you.”

(Did I mention that Gwen had a crying baby with her and how much I was hoping that Gwen would only be around for a scene or two? She’s kind of annoying.)

At the Great Northern, Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper have just finished talking to the One-Armed Man. As they walk past the lobby, they see Leland dancing with a golf club.

(Over the course of watching Twin Peaks, one thing that I’ve really grown to enjoy doing is spotting all of the strange guests who appear to stay at the Great Northern. This episode, the guests appear to be a cross-section of gruff fishermen and Catholic schoolgirls.)

When Harry approaches Leland, Leland apologizes for creating a commotion with his dancing. “Just call me Fred,” Leland says, which might be a reference to Fred Astaire but could just as easily be a reference to the fact that, at this point, Leland has been possessed for so long that it’s debatable whether Leland Palmer even exists at this point. He’s either BOB or he’s Fred but he’s definitely not Leland.

Harry tells Leland that they’ve arrested Ben. Leland says that they’re must be some sort of mistake but then promises Harry and Cooper that he will allow the law to handle it. Leland stumbles out of the lobby. As soon as he’s away from prying eyes, Leland starts to cry but then starts laughing. He is nearly caught by Cooper, who steps up behind him and asks Leland to let him know if he can remember anything unusual about Ben’s behavior on the night of Laura’s death.

(Ray Wise, by the way, gives an absolutely amazing performance in this episode. I don’t care if this episode aired nearly 30 years ago, give that man an Emmy.)

Harry and Cooper return to the sheriff’s station, where they watch as Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) draws blood from Ben’s finger. (Twin Peaks was obviously made before DNA testing became commonplace.)

Jerry is there, protesting Ben’s treatment. It’s obvious that everyone is enjoying making Ben’s life difficult, which actually makes me feel even more sorry for Ben. Cooper reveals that Jerry graduated last in his class, passed the bar on his third attempt, and that his license has been revoked in several states. Hey, Cooper — that’s fine and all but Jerry is absolutely right when he says that Ben is being deprived of his constitutional rights.

Cooper tosses Laura’s diary down in front of Ben, demanding to know if Ben knows what it is. Cooper reads from the diary and tries to goad Ben into confessing. It’s interesting to watch this scene because it’s hard not to feel that the normally upright Cooper has a hidden agenda here. Cooper has become a father figure to Audrey and here’s his chance to get rid of Audrey’s actual father. Twin Peaks is full of bad fathers, both literally and figuratively.

At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) listens to that microcassette that he found during the previous episode. It’s a recording of Ben hiring Leo to burn down the Packard Mill. Bobby is excite because this is his chance to blackmail Ben. Meanwhile, Leo (Eric Da Re) spits up all over Shelly and her pretty blue nightgown. BAD LEO!

At the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) is shocked when her mother, Vivian, suddenly shows up! Not only does Vivian appear to be rich but she’s played by Jane Greer, who starred in the classic film noir, Out of the Past. By her presence alone, Greer serves to remind us of the huge debt that Twin Peaks has always owed to the conventions of film noir.

It turns out that Norma’s mom is very critical of both Norma’s cooking and Hank (Chis Mulkey). It is also revealed that Norma’s mom has married a man named Ernie (James Booth), who appears to still be stuck in the 70s.

Norma says that she’s feeling nervous because there’s a food critic coming and that, with Shelly having quit to take care of Leo, she’s short of help. “That’s why you made the place look nice,” her mom says. (Passive aggressive for the win!)

At the Great Northern, the One-Armed Man (Al Strobel) wakes up when his armless shoulder starts to twitch. “He’s close….” he says. Unfortunately, the only other person in the room is a nurse and she doesn’t really seem to be paying attention. The One-Armed Man asks her for a glass of water. When she leaves the room, she passes a deputy.

Now, we’ve never seen this deputy before so I assume that he’s mostly there so he can be killed later on. He walks into the One-Armed Man’s room and the One-Armed attacks him from behind. Bye bye, Deputy Redshirt. “I’m so sorry,” the One-Armed Man says before climbing out a window.

(Actually Deputy Redshirt is just knocked to the floor and doesn’t die but you can still be sure that this would never have happened to Hawk.)

Hank finally shows up at the Double R Diner, apologizing for being late. It turns out that Hank has been missing for a few days. Norma gets mad at Hank but seriously, Hank is the most charming ex-con in Twin Peaks. Hank gets Norma to forgive him but then realizes that Vivian is working in the kitchen. Uh-oh!

Pete (Jack Nance) comes by the sheriff’s office and catches Harry birdwatching. As Pete talked to Harry, I noticed that Harry has a large picture of the other Harry S Truman — the mafia-connected President, old Give ‘Em Hell Harry — hanging in his office. Pete tells Harry that Josie has left Twin Peaks. Pete and Harry both talk about how they both loved Josie. Harry laments that he stood there and watched as Josie left with her assistant. Pete realizes that the “assistant” was probably Catherine in disguise. The fact that Harry has yet to realize any of this gives us some insight into why the FBI has basically taken over the role of law enforcement in Twin Peaks.

Andy finally returns to the sheriff’s station and is shocked to see Lucy, holding Gwen’s baby. Andy sees the baby and, assuming that Lucy somehow gave birth to a 4-month old baby over the weekend, he promptly faints.

Pete sneaks into the holding cells and plays a tape for Ben. Ben listens to Catherine (Piper Laurie) explaining that she’s alive and that she remembers that Ben was with her on the night that Laura Palmer died. Catherine is willing to provide an alibi but only if Ben signs over both the mill and Ghostwood Estates over to her. Pete starts to giggle like a maniac. (Pete! I thought you were a nice guy!) As an angry Ben tears apart his jail cell, another deputy that we’ve never seen before stares in at him.

Meanwhile, Leland is happily driving down a street. He’s singing. Sorry, I’m not going to look up which song that he’s singing. He’d driving rather recklessly, which will certainly bring him to the attention of Cooper and Harry, who are currently driving along the same street. Cooper is even whistling the same song that Leland is singing, a reminder that Cooper is not quite as upright as everyone thinks. He has secrets of his own.

(I was tempted to point out that the scenes of Leland driving are shot in much the same way as the driving scenes in Lost Highway but, seeing as how David Lynch did not direct this episode, I’m going to assume it’s just a coincidence. That said, Caleb Deschanel does a good job of recreating Lynch’s unique visual style throughout this episode.)

Just as I predicted, Leland nearly collides with Harry and Cooper. They pull him over, right next to the golf course. As the three of them talk, we hear the sound of golf balls being hit in the distance, and we are reminded that there is a golf bag in Leland’s trunk and that Maddy is currently in that bag.

Leland lies and says that, on the night Laura was murdered, Ben got a phone call and had an angry conversation with someone about a “dairy.”

“A diary?” Cooper corrects him.

“That could be!” Leland says.

Lucy calls for Harry. While Harry goes back to the police cruiser, Leland asks Cooper if he’d like to see his new golf club. Leland leads Cooper to the trunk of his car. While he’s getting the club, Harry shouts that the One-Armed Man has been found. Cooper looks away from Leland just as Leland sneaks up behind him with the golf club raised…

AGCK!

And yet, I have to admit that I laughed when I saw Leland about to bash the unsuspecting Cooper with that club. It all comes down to Ray Wise’s brilliant performance as Leland/BOB. Wise does such a good job of playing the role that we totally believe that he could successfully fool everyone in town. We know that he was fully capable of killing Cooper at that moment but no one else would ever suspect such a thing to be true. Even though everyone knows that he killed Jacques, everyone still thinks of him as being Leland Palmer, the somewhat goofy 1950s sitcom dad.

At the police station, Andy has recovered. Gwen is talking to him about a time that she fainted in the produce section. “People want terrible things to happen to you,” Gwen tells him, “I know.” Meanwhile, Hawk leads the One-Armed Man through the police station.

In the interrogation room, Harry, Cooper, and Jerry watch as the One-Armed Man walks in a circle around Ben. The One-Armed Man announces that “He’s been close but BOB is not here now!” Jerry demands that Harry either charge Ben or let him go. That may have been a mistake because Harry promptly steps forward and charges Ben with murdering Laura.

Cooper pulls Harry outside and says that they’re “saddling the horse before we’re ready to ride.” Now, suddenly, Cooper thinks that Ben is innocent. Harry tells Cooper that they can’t base the entire investigation on dreams and giants. They need hard evidence and, what little evidence they have, all points to Ben Horne.

At the Great Northern, Vivian is eating dinner with Norma, Hank, and Ernie and critiquing all of the food. OH MY GOD, could Vivian be M.T. Wentz!? While Norma and Vivian excuse themselves to go to the ladies room, we discover that Hank and Ernie were in prison together. Ernie used to be a gambler but he says that he’s “out of it” now.

That night, in his hotel room, Cooper talks into his tape recorder. He says that Ben Horne is in custody and that the investigation is nearly done. The trail, Cooper says, is narrowing but the last few steps are always the most difficult and dangerous.

Someone knocks on the door. No surprise, it’s Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). She wants to come in and talk to the man who will be her new father figure if Ben is sent to prison. Audrey asks if Cooper arrested her father. Yep. Did he do it? That’s for a court to decide. (Awww, Dale. Your faith in the system is so touching, if misplaced. Never change.) Audrey says that all she ever wanted was for her father to love her and not be ashamed of her.

I watched that little scene with tears in my eyes, becoming so overcome with emotion that it was a bit of a relief when Cooper’s phone rang. After answering it, a suddenly alarmed Cooper orders Audrey to go back to her room and lock the door.

At the waterfall, the police are in full force. Maddy’s body, wrapped in plastic, has been found.

Between Ray Wise’s brilliant performance and that haunting final shot of Maddy, this episode left me exhausted. As uneven as the second season was, this episode (and the one that preceded it) are as strong as anything seen during the first season.

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TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary” (dir by Todd Holland)

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir.”

— Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary”

I have to admit that I initially got really excited when I saw who had directed Laura’s Secret Diary.

That’s largely because I misread the name and I briefly thought that the episode was directed by the veteran horror director, Tom Holland. I happen to be friends on Facebook with Tom Holland and I immediately started to try to figure out the least intrusive way to ask him about his experience directing for Twin Peaks… But no, on second glance, it turned out that the director of this episode was Todd Holland. Todd Holland is another veteran director, though he’s best known for directing sitcoms.

Speaking of credits, this episode is credited to four different writers. Along with Twin Peaks mainstays Mark Frost, Harley Peyton, and Robert Engels, credit is also given to Jerry Stahl. Like Holland, Stahl worked on several sitcoms but he’s probably best known for his memoir, Permanent Midnight, in which he wrote about his experiences as a drug addict in Hollywood. Permanent Midnight was later turned into a movie, starring Ben Stiller as Stahl. (Of course, before all that, Stahl wrote the script for an odd sci-fi film called Cafe Flesh, a movie that many consider to be one of the best pornographic films of all time.) As quoted in Reflections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks, Mark Frost says that Stahl wrote the initial script for Laura’s Secret Diary but the script was a “an absolute car wreck… He turned in a completely incomprehensible, unusable, incomplete script a few days late and as I recall there were blood stains on it.” Stahl’s script was rewritten by Frost, Peyton, and Engels.

How did they do? Well, let’s take a look at Laura’s Secret Diary!

As always, we start with the opening credits, attempting to lull us into the town’s false sense of security. What’s interesting is that, with each subsequent viewing of the opening credits, those shots of Twin Peaks and the woods and the waterfall become more and more ominous. Since the series started, we’ve learned a lot about goes on in those woods. We know what’s lurking underneath the surface.

The show begins with a disturbing image, one that feels extremely Lynchian even if it was directed by Todd Holland. We start with an extreme closeup of … well, we don’t know what we’re looking at it. It appears to be a white surface that is covered with dark holes but, only as the camera pulls away, do we realize that we’re looking at the wall of the police station’s interrogation room. On the soundtrack, we hear screams and a distorted voice repeating the words, “Daddy!” over and over again.

(As unsettling as this may be, it’s even more disturbing if you know what’s going to happen in the next few episodes. Twin Peaks is one of the few shows that is even more unsettling in retrospect.)

We then see that Leland (Ray Wise) is staring at the wall while Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) attempt to talk to him about the death of Jacques Renault. Leland confesses to the murder, crying as he does so. As always, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) is standing in the background, watching. Doc Hayward is always watching in the background, almost enough to make me wonder if he’s real or if he’s just a dream character, a symbol of old-fashioned decency who has been fantasized into existence by the beleaguered citizens of Twin Peaks.

After Leland’s confession, Hayward and Cooper talk. When Hayward expresses some sympathy for Leland, Cooper snaps, “Do you approve of murder, doctor?” (This is our first clue that Cooper’s going to spend most of this episode not acting like his usual friendly self.) Cooper then storms off, probably leaving Hayward to wonder just what exactly he did wrong. However, Hayward doesn’t have long to wonder because suddenly, he’s got Andy (Harry Goaz) to deal with.

Andy is concerned that he “flunked” his “sperm test” and wants another shot. Doc Hayward gives him a specimen jar and tells him to put it in a brown paper bag once he’s done with it. “I’ll be in the car,” Hayward says. Andy goes off with the jar and a copy of Flesh World (and I think it might be the same copy of Flesh World that contained Laura and Ronette’s personal ads). Of course, he happens to run into Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who is none too happy to see her ex-boyfriend heading to the men’s room with a pornographic magazine. “Hmmphf!” Lucy says.

While this drama unfolds, Harry informs Cooper that the judge will be arriving that afternoon. His name is Clinton Sternwood. He travels the circuit in a Winnebago. The district attorney is also coming. His name is Darryl Lodwick. Also, it turns out that no one named Robertson ever rented the house next to the Palmers’ summer cabin. The house is currently rented to a family named Kalispell. I’m assuming that it must be Funny Name Day in Twin Peaks.

Andy wanders by and, being Andy, he accidentally drops his specimen jar and it rolls underneath a chair in the waiting room. As Andy tries to retrieve it, Cooper sees that Andy is wearing the same brand of boots that they found at Leo Johnson’s house. Cooper asks about the boots and Andy thinks he’s asking about sperm and hilarity ensues. Anyway, it turns out that Andy bought the boots from the One-Armed Man, who is apparently still missing.

At the Great Northern, a frantic employee runs up to Ben Horne (Richard Beymer).

“Mr. Horne!” she says.

“Walk and talk,” Ben says and…

Wait a minute! WALK AND TALK!? AARON SORKIN, YOU’VE JUST BEEN RIPPING OFF TWIN PEAKS!

But anyway, the employee informs Ben that she’s heard a rumor that M.T. Wentz is coming to Twin Peaks. Well, of course, he is. It’s Funny Name Day, after all. But apparently, M.T. Wentz is some sort of famous travel writer. No one knows what Wentz looks like but a favorable Wentz review could put the Great Northern on the map.

Ben steps into his office and finds Jean Renault (Michael Parks) waiting for him. Oh my God! M.T. Wentz is Jean Renault!? No, actually, it turns out that Jean is just there to show Ben a video tape of Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) being held hostage. Renault wants money and he wants Dale Cooper to serve as the delivery man.

At the Double R Diner, Hank (Chris Mulkey) tells Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) that she looks pretty today and Donna says, “Thanks,” and considers that Hank is just as troubled as James Hurley but he doesn’t cry as much. However, Hank ruins his chances by making fun of the people on Donna’s Meals on Wheels route. “You wouldn’t understand,” Donna tells him.

Norma (Peggy Lipton) tells Hank that she’s just heard that M.T. Wentz is in town. Hank has no idea who that is. Apparently, they don’t read restaurant reviews in prison. Norma explains that a good review from M.T. Wentz could being a lot of business to the Double R, especially if it appears in a “Seattle paper.” Apparently, Norma is hoping to corner the vegan hipster market.

Though Hank doesn’t know who M.T. Wentz is, he still grabs a hundred dollar bill from the register and then leaves to buy flowers and other stuff that could make the Double R look worthy of a good review. He also tells Norma to call Big Ed. Big Ed can help clean the place up! Norma nods. It’s not as if Big Ed ever has anything else to do.

Meanwhile, Donna is having lunch with Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen) and it must be said that Harold is probably on the cuter end of the recluse scale. Donna has to be happy that she didn’t get stuck with some sort of Howard Hughes-type with uncut finger nails and empty Kleenex boxes on his feet. Harold offers to read something from Laura’s secret diary. Donna says sure.

Harold reads a passage where Laura talks about how much she loves Donna. Laura worried that Donna wouldn’t be her friend if she knew “what my insides are really like.” Donna starts to cry and Harold apologizes. Donna says its okay but she wonders if maybe they should give the diary to the sheriff.

“No,” Harold says, “I’ve read this from cover to cover. There are no solutions.”

(Harold wasn’t the only person who read Laura’s diary from cover to cover. The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was written by Jennifer Lynch and published shortly before the start of the second season. I’ve ordered a copy from Amazon and I’ll read it as soon as it arrives. Maybe if y’all are really nice to me, I’ll even write a review of it.)

Harold explains that people tells him their stories and he places them in a larger context. “Friends and lovers,” Harold says, even though there don’t seem to be any around. “Maybe you’ll be come one,” Harold says, as the creepy meter goes off the charts.

Meanwhile, at the Great Northern, Ben tells Cooper that Audrey has been kidnapped. Cooper is upset that Ben has circumvented “normal channels” and has contacted him directly. Uhmmm … is it just me or is Cooper kind of being a dick in this episode? This definitely does not seem to be the same Dale Cooper who has been present in every other episode of the show. It’s almost as if the script for this show was written by an outside writer who 1) hadn’t ever really watched Twin Peaks and 2) was struggling with personal issues of his own.

Meanwhile, at the Martell House, Josie (Joan Chen) has returned from Seattle. Oh my God, could Josie be M.T. Wentz!? IT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH! But anyway, Josie tells Pete (Jack Nance) that she’s sorry about the mill burning down and that she’s happy that Catherine was around to take care of things. Pete mentions that Catherine died in the fire. Josie and Catherine share a hug, even as Pete explains that they still haven’t found Catherine’s body but they’re still going to have a service.

“I don’t know what, exactly, we’ll be burying,” Pete says…

Wait! If they haven’t found Catherine’s body, then she’s probably still alive! Maybe Catherine is actually M.T. Wentz…

At One-Eyed Jacks, Emory (Don Amendolia) leads Audrey into an office where a displeased Jean is waiting. Emory says that “Ms. Horne was a very bad girl, refusing to take her medicine.” When Jean realizes that Emory has been hitting Audrey, Jean shoots him. Good for Jean!

At the police station, Andy tries to approach Lucy but Lucy’s like, “Go talk to your magazines!” and she starts waving a big pair of scissors at him. At that point, Cooper walks into the station and tells Andy to go get some air. Cooper’s not in a good mood. He doesn’t have time for all of this. (In the past, Cooper would have made time but, in this episode, Dale Cooper is suddenly a raging jerk.) After Andy leaves, Cooper orders Lucy to explain what’s bothering her.

Lucy complains that Andy doesn’t work out, doesn’t wash his car, and doesn’t own a sports coat. That’s why she dumped Andy and started going out with Dick Tremayne. Tremayne owns a lot of coats, Lucy explains. Cooper asks Lucy if she knows what she wants. “I don’t know!” Lucy wails before running off.

Having ruined Lucy’s life, Cooper tells Harry that, even though he can’t give any specific details, he needs one of the Book House Boys. “The best one,” Cooper says. (In other words, not James.) “I’ll set it up,” Harry says, “9:30 at the Roadhouse.”

(Why do I have a feeling that Cooper’s going to show up at the Roadhouse and find Doc Hayward waiting for him? Actually, the Book House Boys are starting to remind me of the Brets from Flight of the Conchords.)

That night, at the nearly deserted Double R Diner, Norma and Hank watch as a fat man with a beard (Ritch Brinkley) walks in. “That must be him!” Norma says. The fat man orders a cheeseburger and then heads to the bathroom. Hank, proving the he really doesn’t understand how parole works, steals the man’s wallet while he’s gone. Hank quickly discovers that the bearded man is not M.T. Wentz. Instead, he’s Darryl Lodwick, the district attorney. Hank might want to return that wallet.

At another booth, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) talk. Maddy tries to apologize while Donna smokes a cigarette and glares at her. She wants to steal the diary from Harold’s house. She’ll do it with or without Maddy’s help.

As it rains outside, Harry goes to the Martell house and sees Josie. Josie tries to distract him by modeling a sexy black dress that she bought in Seattle. Being a paragon of truth and justice, Harry refuses to be distracted. He demands to know if Josie set the fire at the mill. “How could you!?” Josie responds. Josie and Harry end up making love on a couch while a mysterious Asian man watches from outside.

(M.T. Wentz, maybe?)

At the police station, as lightning flashes outside and thunder rumbles, Lucy drinks a cup of coffee. Judge Sternwood (played by Royal Dano, a veteran Western character actor) shows up at the station, followed by Harry and Cooper.

Sternwood asks how Cooper is finding Twin Peaks.

“Heaven, sir,” Cooper replies.

“Well, this week, heaven includes arson, multiple homicides, and an attempt on the life of a federal agent,” Sternwood replies.

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir,” Cooper says, a line which immediately made me think of Eraserhead and that radiator woman singing that, “In Heaven, everything is fine.”

Judge Sternwood and Cooper walk off and Lucy finally thinks that she can relax and drink her coffee. Suddenly, here comes Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan). Now, I have to say that, of all the new characters who showed up during the second season, Dick Tremayne is probably my favorite. He’s just such a salesman. Of course, he’s a jerk, too. But Ian Buchanan gives such a lively performance.

Dick says that he hasn’t slept. He hasn’t eaten. He’s been a fool. Dick has realized that he must do the right thing and that means … giving Lucy $650 for an abortion. Lucy kicks him out of the station and then locks herself in Harry’s office, loudly sobbing.

Andy escorts Leland to his meeting with the judge, only briefly stopping when he hears the distraught Lucy cry out, “OH DICK! WAS IT JUST YOUR ASCOT?!”

Judge Sternwood talks to Leland, saying that he knows Leland to be a decent man and a good attorney. Sternwood says that procedures must be observed but promises to raise a glass with Leland in Valhalla. Since Lodwick is still at the diner, the Judge decides to hold off on determining bail until the morning. Leland says that’s fine and that everyone’s being very nice to him in jail.

After Leland is escorted out, the Judge tells Harry and Cooper that they all have very difficult jobs. Maybe not as difficult as M.T. Wentz’s job but difficult nonetheless.

At the Great Northern, Ben is talking to the Lumber Queen semi-finalists while the mysterious Asian man stares at him. Ben and the Asian Man bow towards each other. The Asian man is checking into the hotel. He says that he only pays in cash and that he’s from Seattle. Oh my God, could it be M.T. Wentz!? That’s certainly what the desk clerk thinks…

Except, of course, we know that it’s not M.T. Wentz. It’s pretty obvious that the Asian man is actually Catherine Martell in disguise. It doesn’t matter how much makeup she wear or how much she lowers her voice, Piper Laurie is Piper Laurie.

At the Martell House, Josie’s cousin, Jonathan (Mark Takano), has arrives. Josie introduces him to Pete. Pete goes off to get coffee and suddenly, Jonathan sneers and says he doesn’t know how Josie survived living in Twin Peaks. Jonathan says they have to get back to Hong Kong. “Are there any complications?” Jonathan asks.

(Oh, there’s always a few. It’s Twin Peaks!)

Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, Dale waits for the arrival of the best Book House Boy. Now, I have to admit that I was expecting either Hank or maybe M.T. Wentz to come walking through the door. Instead, it’s Harry!

“Are we in any particular hurry?” Harry asks.

“Harry, let me buy you a beer,” Dale says.

Sure, Cooper, why not? I mean, hey, IT’S NOT LIKE AUDREY’S BEEN KIDNAPPED WHILE TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT OR ANYTHING!

Seriously, what’s going on with Dale in this episode?

Hey, Cooper — remember Audrey!?

At the Double R, Hank (who apparently lives in the diner) is woken up by someone knocking on the front door. When Hank goes to answer the door, he is attacked by Jonathan. Jonathan knocks him to the floor and then says, “Blood brother. Next time, I take your head off.”

And this rather frustrating and uneven episode of Twin Peaks comes to an end.

It’s hard to know what to make of Laura’s Secret Diary. There were parts that I really liked, like the opening shot in the interrogation room and some of the humor between Andy, Lucy, and Dick. But, at the same time, you’ve got Dale acting totally out-of-character, the strangely unresolved M.T. Wentz thing, and it’s hard not to feel that Audrey Being Kidnapped is a storyline that should have been resolved in two episodes, as opposed to being dragged out for as long as it was. Audrey is too important a character to spend the first half of season 2 in a daze.

Tomorrow’s episode — The Orchid’s Kiss!

(That sounds like the title of one of the paperbacks that my sister would select for Artwork of the Day, doesn’t it?)

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A Movie A Day #93: Whore (1991, directed by Ken Russell)

Posted on April 10, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Liz (Theresa Russell) is a prostitute trying to survive on the mean streets of Los Angeles. With the help of a homeless performance named Rasta (Antonio Fargas), Liz tries to escape from her abusive pimp, Blake (Benjamin Mouton).

To its credit, Whore was made as a response to the glamorous and irresponsible way that prostitution was portrayed in Pretty Woman but Whore had too much going against it to succeed. It was based on a theatrical monologue, which was almost always a bad sign. The majority of the movie was Liz talking straight to the camera, which was another red flag. Most ominously, it was a Theresa Russell movie that was not directed by Nicolas Roeg and those never seemed to turn out well. The director of Whore was Ken Russell but it featured none of the excess that Russell was known for. Stuck with a low-budget and a reportedly unenthusiastic studio, Russell’s direction was uncharacteristically restrained. (That’s a polite way of saying boring.)

The one good thing about Whore, and the reason why I’m writing about it during this site’s look back at Twin Peaks, was the presence of Jack Nance, playing one of the few men who actually tries to help Liz. Nance, of course, not only played fishing-obsessed Pete Martell in Twin Peaks but also starred in Eraserhead and appeared in all of Lynch’s films (with the exception of The Elephant Man) up until Nance’s mysterious death in 1996. Literally credited as playing “Helpful passerby.” Nance only had a few minutes of screen time but made a definite impression as one of the few kind people to be found in Liz’s dark world.

As a reflection of how much times have changed, Whore‘s title was so controversial that, in 1991, it was released in some areas under an alternative title: If You Can’t Say It, Just See It.

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.1 “May The Giant Be With You” (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on April 10, 2017 by Leonard Wilson

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For four months, people wondered about the fate of Special Agent Dale Cooper, while speculating on who really killed Laura Palmer. The impact of that first season was strong. Twin Peaks would go on to win a number of Golden Globes. Kyle MacLachlan won for Best Actor in a Drama, Piper Laurie for Best Supporting Actress, and the show won Best Drama Series for 1991.

This piece will be shorter than my last one, even though the episode was about an hour and a half long. As writing about TV is somewhat new to me, I ask for your patience as I fine tune things, and thank anyone for reading. This is a fun project.

Directed by David Lynch himself, “May the Giant Be With You”, opens with Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) on the floor, having been shot 3 times in the chest and stomach and reflecting on the experience. He’s visited by both a member of the morning room service staff with a few communication issues and a very tall gentleman (Carol Struycken) who tells him three things:

1.) There’s a man in a smiling bag.

2.) The Owls are not what they seem.

3.) Without chemicals, he points.

The tall figure let’s Cooper know this is all he’s allowed to say and can’t elaborate. He also takes Cooper’s ring and promises to return it once Cooper sees the truth in what he’s told. As an afterthought, the figure adds that there is an additional clue at Leo Johnson’s house (“Leo locked inside hungry horse.”). The figure then disappears, leaving Cooper to think about what he’s been told.

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Meanwhile, at One Eyed Jack’s, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is trying to introduce him to the “New Girl”, unaware that the girl is actually his daughter, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). Audrey is able to fight off his advances while hiding her identity in a scene that shows her just how creepy her dad is. We also learn that Blackie is a drug addict, getting her fix from Jerry (David Patrick Kelley).

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Cooper, still on the floor, is still recording his thoughts on his tape deck, going over his regrets and hopes. Before he can expire, Truman, Andy and Hawk arrive, and Agent Cooper is rushed to the Hospital. When he regains consciousness, Dr. Hayward shows him the extracted bullet, which hit a tick he was trying to get to before the incident began. Cooper can’t recall anything clear about the figure that shot him. Lucy explains that in the time he was out, Leo was shot, Jacques was strangled, the Mill burned, Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation, Catherine and Josie are missing and Nadine is in the hospital, having taken too many sleeping pills. It’s kind of comical when Cooper asks how long he was out and receives the response that it all occurred the night before.

Shelley is recuperating from smoke inhalation, but is inconsolable due to the loss of Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). Cooper witness a body bag being wheeled through the hospital, and is told that it’s the body of Jacques Renault, which causes Cooper to ask if the bag is smiling. Is that the first clue the Giant provided come to pass?

At the Palmer residence, Maddy (Sheryl Lee) and Sarah (Grace Zabriskie) are talking about Maddy’s dream of Laura when Leland (Ray Wise) steps into view, his hair completely white. Sarah and Maddy look on in disbelief. Having dispatched Jacques the night before, Leland is a new man. He still sings and dances, but appears to be much more pleasant and merry now. Before the scene ends, Maddy sees the blood imprint of what I believe is Laura’s body, stirring her to screams. Watching that moment reminded me of Sheryl Lee’s performance in John Carpenter’s Vampires (“He killed a Priest!!”) – pretty much the same scream.

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Leland makes a return appearance at the Great Western, presenting himself with the same song he gave his family. Ben and Jerry, who were trying to figure out how Leo wasn’t killed, greet Leland with a song and dance and welcome him with open arms.

Truman and Cooper are at Leo’s house, examining the bullet hole in the glass. Cooper is able to perfectly piece together the attack on Bobby, though Truman believes it’s Shelly that was the victim here. Cooper notes that they need to confirm when Shelly arrived at the Mill to confirm if she was the one. A car approaches, bringing Andy (Harry Goaz) and Albert Rosenfeld (Miguel Ferrer) to the scene. Andy runs out to warn Truman and Cooper that Rosenfeld’s there, but steps on a loose board at Leo’s porch. The board flies up and smacks Andy right in the face, causing him to stumble around like a cartoon character. Up to the that point, I enjoyed the scene, but Andy’s reaction to getting hit – while funny – is just a little too drawn out for me. It’s helped by one of Rosenfeld’s classic quips, but not by much. Under the boards, Cooper and Truman discover a shoe with “Circle Brand” on the bottom and some drugs. Leo truly was into some underhanded things.

The next scene takes us to the Double R Diner. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is given a pair of sunglasses while Maddy destroys hers, as she’s tired of them. She’s looking for some change. Norma (Peggy Lipton) gives Donna a note that came into the diner that reads “Look into the Meals on Wheels”. They ponder the meaning of this while a lady cradling a log looks on.

Cooper is being checked by Rosenfeld, who was sent by Gordon Cole (David Lynch). Rosenfeld explains the obvious – he was shot at close range. Rosenfeld also adds that Jacques’ death could just be some kind of small town vengeance, which makes Cooper a little defensive. Andy comes into the room and adds some more information about the Giant’s clue. Leo was under arrest in Hungry Horse, Montana on the same date of Teresa Banks’ murder. Leo has his alibi.

Mike, the one-armed shoe salesman, makes an appearance at the precinct, to sell some shoes. Truman and James listen to Laura’s tape. Truman suggests it was break in. James states the door was already open. On the cocaine in his bike, James believes Bobby did that, possibly with Leo’s help. James explains that Laura went on about playing with fire, of playing with BOB, which Truman can’t figure out. Cooper comes in and demands the other half of Laura’s necklace. James gives it to him, and returns to his cell. Cooper understands that Jacoby is actually plays a bigger role in the entire affair, than previously expected.

Donna, sunglasses and all, pays James a visit. They have a mini between-the-bars make out moment, and she tells him she’s eager for him to get out of jail.

Cooper gives Lucy and Andy a task to go through issues of Flesh World to see if they can find a picture of Teresa Banks in it. Cooper and Truman visit Jacoby at the hospital. Cooper plays hardball and wants to know how Jacoby got a hold of half of Laura’s necklace. Jacoby claimed to be trailing a red corvette, but lost him near the Old Mill Road. A motorcycle and police cruiser passed him by and went into the woods. He trailed them (James and Donna) to the place where they buried something under the rock. The necklace was what Jacoby dug up and kept. Jacoby theorizes that Laura was looking to die, not by a suicide, but as a murder. In regards to Jacques murder, Jacoby was too sedated to have done it himself, but notes there was a strange smell in the air. It wasn’t Jacques voiding his bowels (as strangulation victims do), but of scorched engine oil.

Bobby visits Shelly at the hospital, who is happily surprised to see him alive. He promises to take care of her when she gets out. She tells him that Leo knows about the two of them and Bobby assures her she’ll be alright.

Rosenfeld, Cooper, and Truman find Ed, who is waiting on Nadine. She survived her suicide attempt, but is in a coma. He explains of how he proposed to Nadine and how she lost her eye, which he shot out by way of some buckshot ricochet. At the end of the conversation, Cooper discovers the smiling bag hanging on the wall of another room. Another clue brought to light. We also learn that the food in the hospital is really bad.

Norma, at the hospital, finds Ed at Nadine’s bedside. With a pained expression, she leaves them be.

At the Double R, Bobby runs into his father (Don Davis) and joins him at his table. They talk about school, and of a vision the father has of a place where he was born and raised. He dreamed of his son at this place, happy and carefree. They have a hug that’s warm and loving, and when he awoke, the father felt optimistic about Bobby’s future. He wishes Bobby nothing the best in life and heads home. Bobby actually sheds a tear. When Norma returns to the diner, Bobby watches her talk to Hank and realizes that he (Hank) was the one who shot Leo.

Back at the Precinct, Cooper breaks down what happened with Laura. Laura went to the cabin, had a tryst with Leo, Ronette and Jacques, and also note that the blood on Laura didn’t match any of the other individuals, so there’s another unknown that’s tied to the murder. For a clearer picture of what exactly happened that night, it’s recommended that one watches the Twin Peaks movie, Fire Walk With Me. If you want to keep with the mystery, avoid that and stay with the episodes until the reveal. Then jump to the film.

At Josie’s, Pete and Truman talk about Josie and Catherine, and adjusting to them gone. Pete has a sad moment here. A call comes in from an unnamed individual looking for Josie, which Truman picks up. We’re not given much information on that.

Over at the Great Northern, Ben and Jerry are debriefed on what happened with Hank and Leo. Hank lets them know that Leo was chopping wood inside his house – unaware that Bobby was ever there – and the shot was in his neck. Ben is hoping that the arson of the Mill will be pinned on Leo, who out of it, and Catherine, who’s presumed dead. The brothers will take care of the ledger.

Audrey is brought to Blackie at One Eyed Jack’s. She displeased that she didn’t give the owner the rendezvous he expected, and Audrey goes on to state that “he wasn’t her type”. Blackie warns Audrey that anyone and everyone will be Audrey’s type when she’s there. She has to get out of that place as soon as she can.

Donna makes a phone call to Norma inquiring about the Meals on Wheels. She offers to take over the route that Laura had when she worked there, to try to find out about what happened to her (though she doesn’t reveal this to Norma.

The next scene presents a happy surprise for Lynch fans. Gersten, a little red-haired girl, welcomes the Palmer and Hayward families to a mini party where she plays the piano. Fans of Dune will recognize the girl as Alicia Witt, who played Paul Atreides’ (Kyle MacLachlan) daughter. Fans of The Walking Dead will recognize her as the villain who captured Carol for a while before Carol broke loose and killed everyone on site. Gersten plays the piano (As Witt does so professionally) and they have some small conversation. Leland’s change in hair becomes the topic of conversation and in explaining how well he felt the morning it happened, he breaks into song. I’ll admit I liked this. Ray Wise is pretty good at singing, overall. Leland goes a little overboard and passes out, but with the doctor right there, they’re able to assist him right away. When he comes to a minute later, he says he feels happy. Just a rush of blood from the head, I suppose.

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Nighttime. Cooper is in his room, about to sleep. At the same time, Audrey is awake, lying on her bed and talking to him in the hopes that he can hear her. She hopes that he received her note and that she may be a little over her head in having gotten caught up in the craziness of One Eyed Jack’s. She only wanted to assist him. We then cut back to Cooper, who is visited once again by the Giant Man. The giant passes on some riddles for Cooper to solve.

The giant mentions Cooper shouldn’t search for all of the answers at once, and that they’ll occur like a path, one after the other. “One person saw the third man. Three have seen him, yes, but not his body. One only, known to you. Ready now to talk.” The giant also points out that he forgot something and imbues Cooper with a strange yellow light before disappearing. I’m not sure I understand it either at this point, but given how well the tiniest of clues have worked out in Twin Peaks, I’m certain it’s important.

The final scene is trailing shot into the hospital. Ronette wakes up to visions of BOB. BOB rushing at her. BOB at the cabin and BOB killing Laura under flickering lights. His laugh is maniacal as he does this. So, the question becomes “Where is BOB?”

The end credits return us to Alicia Witt and her piano skills, which was sweet to see.

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TV Review: Twin Peaks 1.8 “The Last Evening” (dir by Mark Frost)

Posted on April 9, 2017 by Leonard Wilson

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And now, the Season Finale of Twin Peaks.

Season Finales are the best part of TV shows for me. When done well, a great finale will answer some of the questions presented through the season while also setting up new ones for future episodes. Planting the right seeds can result in water cooler talk (or crazy Twitstreams) that will last the entire hiatus. The idea is to reward the audience for their participation, but leave them wanting. Shows like Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead have had closing episodes leading to long-term discussion. Twin Peaks was no different, for its time. Some bridges are mended, some are broken, and a cliffhanger or two helped to round out the episode.

Episode 7, “The Last Evening” opens a view of a sunset with pine trees. We find this is just the backdrop for some wall paper in Dr. Jacoby’s (Russ Tamblyn) office. James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) visit Dr. Jacoby’s office, which was recently vacated due to the lure they set up with Maddy impersonating Laura. Inside, they discover a small box filled with cocktail umbrellas. Each one is labelled with a memory – “I first lay eyes on Mimzy.”. Everyone collects something, but drink umbrellas is somewhere on the stranger side of things. As they look around, Donna accidentally turns on Jacoby’s music, which James fixes by turning down the volume. In the frantic mess of trying to stop the music, Donna discovers a coconut and recalls Laura recorded statement on this. They open the coconut to reveal two more clues, an audio tape and the other half of Laura’s heart necklace. So, this sheds some light on the story. It looks like Dr. Jacoby was maybe closer to Laura than most knew. It fits with his not showing up at the Funeral and what he told Cooper about the way she made him feel in comparison to the other patients of Twin Peaks.

Could Laura have been an obsession for Jacoby that simply went too far?

James and Donna leave on his motorcycle with the necklace. The scene closes in on Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook), who comes out of the shadows, firing an imaginary bullet at his nemesis. The drugs he left in the gas tank are sure to frame James, a final zinger after their fight at the Funeral.

The next scene has Dr. Jacoby arriving at the park with the Gazebo he saw in Laura’s video, rather than going to Sparkwood and 21, as directed. Peeking from the bushes (as seems to be the local habit in Twin Peaks, maybe even the meaning behind the town’s name), Jacoby discovers Maddy walking around and waiting for someone. Jacoby is momentarily lost in his memories at the sight of Laura, failing to notice a dark figure approaching him from behind. The figure beats Dr. Jacoby repeatedly before recognizing that the man is having what appears to be a heart attack. Jacoby witnesses Maddy being picked up by Donna and James, and calls out to them weakly before they depart. His cries go unheard.

The camera closes on Dr. Jacoby’s wide eyes as he is left behind in the park. Darkness embraces him, and perhaps this closes the loop on Jacoby. Were he truly Laura’s killer, would someone really need to kill him as well? What if someone witnessed what he said, taking his words and his reaction on seeing Laura as an admission of guilt? Then again, it could simply be someone going to any means to tie up their loose ends.

We then find ourselves at the roulette table of One-Eyed Jack’s. Ed (Everett McGill) isn’t having the best of times here, but Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) appears to be doing quite well at the blackjack table. In pure James Bond fashion, his eyes are focused on his dealer, the infamous Jacques Renault (Walter Olkewicz). Cooper is so focused on the task at hand that he kindly refuses a whispered proposition from one of Jack’s Ladies. He slides a purple poker chip towards Jacques, one with a hole that matches the broken piece of plastic found in Laura’s stomach in her autopsy. On telling Jacques that he’s a friend of Leo’s, Jacques immediately denies having heard of him. Cooper offers to buy Jacques a drink, since they have much to discuss.

We cut to Blackie O’Reilly’s (Victoria Catlin)office. Audrey Horne enters the room, dressed in a beautiful white and red lingerie that really brings out a pop in her eyebrows. That may sound weird, but hear me out. Eyebrows tend to frame one’s eyes. Oddly shaped and/or off-colored, they can change the look of a person’s face. If you think that’s odd, compare Rooney Mara’s Elizabeth with Noomi Rapace’s in The Dragon Tattoo films and tell me I’m wrong. Audrey Horne (and by extension, Sherilyn Fenn) has some impressive eyebrows, along with a little beauty mark on the left side.

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Okay, getting back on track.

Approaching Blackie’s desk, Audrey glances down at the video feed and notices Cooper sitting at the blackjack table. He must have read her letter, the probably thinks, though the audience knows that the envelope is still unopened in Cooper’s room at the lodge. This catches her off guard, but she quickly recovers. Blackie informs Audrey that she’s to meet the owner of One Eyed Jack’s for a special rendezvous. Audrey asks who the owner is, but Blackie won’t tell. Blackie has Audrey pick a card. The Queen of Diamonds is chosen, and Blackie rests her hand on Audrey’s, giving her a knowing smile.

We cut to One Eyed Jack’s and a truly smooth scene. Cooper and Jacques are having drinks. Cooper asks Jacques if he knows him. When Jacques claims that he doesn’t, Cooper has him take the broken poker chip from his pocket and explains its importance – that he and his brother were doing drug running with Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re) and even going so far to mimic Waldo the Bird’s “Laura” chirp. Jacques tries to bolt, but Cooper grabs him and asks how he believes Leo was ever able to finance the drug running they did. Jacques puts things together and figures that Cooper is the one truly in charge. He also doesn’t know who was covering the dealing on the U.S. Side of the border, though mentions it was a “high school kid”. Cooper gives him $10,000 and offers him a mission stateside. Jacques agrees to meet Cooper at the water processing plant at Black Lake, which he doesn’t realize is what everyone needs for his extradition.

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Before Jacques leaves, Cooper asks him one final question on how the chip ended up the way it did. Here comes the reveal. Jacques explains that Waldo liked Laura, and happened to say her name often. At the cabin, everyone (Ronette, Leo, Jacques and Laura) partied pretty hard with drugs, and Leo was the one who let the bird out of the cage. In the middle of their tryst, Laura complained about the bird. According to Jacques, Leo responded by putting the chip in her mouth and asking her “bite the big one, baby”. The moment is something of a gross out, with a close up of Jacques mouth as he says that phase. Cooper thanks him and sends Jacques on his way, letting Hawk (Michael Horse) and Sheriff Truman know that the trap is set.

Meanwhile, Audrey is making preparations to meet with the owner of One Eyed Jack’s. Who is this mystery man? What’s his connection to Laura? Can Audrey get any information out of this that can lead to Laura’s murderer (and improve her standing with Agent Cooper)? Can she get out of this situation? Where is Cooper? The scene is brief, but it serves to set up where Audrey stands by the end of the season.

Shelly (Madchen Amick) washes her hair in the kitchen sink, setting her pistol on the table next to her. When she gets some shampoo in her eye, she tries to reach for the towel. We can see that the towel is being pulled just out of reach. Someone else is in the room. She makes the realization just a second too late as Leo grabs her before she can really get her gun. “You made me do this, Shelly, you made me!” he yells at her before the scene cuts away.

Nighttime. The Water-processing plant. Sheriff Truman (Michael Ontkean) and Andy(Harry Goaz) are waiting for Jacques Renault to make his appearance. When he does, the police arrive in force and corner him. Truman makes it official, arresting him for the attempted murder of Ronette Pulaski and the murder of Laura Palmer. A brief scuffle occurs and Renault breaks free, grabbing an officer’s gun to use on Truman. Before he can fire a shot, however, Jacques himself is shot in the shoulder and slumps down to the ground near a car. Lo and behold, Truman’s savior is none other than good old Andy, who’s redeemed himself since his gun went off some time ago. It was a indeed a great moment for our favorite deputy and he shines here.

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We’re at Donna’s place. With her father (William Frost) on the phone in the other room, she moves to the kitchen where James and Maddie are standing, along with a type player. They play the tape they found from the coconut. It’s Laura’s voice, who explains that she’s “a weird mood”. She goes on to say that James is a sweet guy and all, but she’s looking for something a little more edgy. Laura speaks of a mystery man that’s tried to kill her a few times during sex, but that she’s into it. She doesn’t give the man’s name, but gives a clue with his red corvette. So now, the truth is out. Laura was with Leo, on purpose, and in a relationship with a few sadomasochistic tendencies. Consoled by Donna, James says he’s happy to know the truth, else he would have followed along in the belief that Laura was still very much innocent in nature. Donna’s father comes in from the other room, to tell her he has to rush to the hospital for an incident and leaves.

That’s one of the running themes in this episode of Twin Peaks. Some of the characters here have changed natures. Some you thought were kind, you come to find weren’t. Some you thought as wicked do have some good intentions, deep down.

The next scene has Leo bringing in canisters of gasoline to the Mill, making the necessary preparations to burn it down. Getting rid of two birds with one stone, he has Shelly tied and gagged in the Mill as well. He informs her that she has a much time as it takes for the explosive he set to explode to think about what she did to him. He also mentions that Bobby Briggs is a dead man and that she broke his heart. Is this the end of sweet Shelly, who just wanted to get out of an unstable relationship?

We’re now at Ed and Nadine’s place. A blanket is set on the floor, as Nadine (Wendy Robie) kneels on it while wearing a beautiful pink dress. A lullaby version of Angelo Badalmenti’s theme plays sweetly here as she pours herself both a glass of water and a bowl full of pills. She says “Goodbye”, her depression getting the best of her. Will Ed, who’s back at One Eyed Jack’s, be able to reach her in time?

At Josie’s (Joan Chen), Hank (Chris Mulkey) receives his money and mentions that it doesn’t quite seem like enough. He presents a story to her on the value of the 18 months he spent in jail, and suggests that he was the one who killed Josie’s husband (probably for her). He also mentions having taken the rap for a vehicular manslaughter charge. This scene is set up well with Mulkey hitting a mark that has him standing under a deer’s head. The angle presents him with horns by his head as he talks to Josie, making him appear much like the Devil in 1922’s Haxan or Tim Curry’s Darkness in Ridley Scott’s Legend, laying bare all of her sins. Hank also informs her that “once you’re in business with someone, you’re in business with them for life, like a marriage”. To solidify the union, he cuts both their thumbs open and mingles their blood, leaving Josie in a state of shock and me thinking of all the germs they just shared. It’s a scene that gets the job done and makes both characters more interesting, in my eyes. It takes Hank and suddenly makes him more useful than I felt he was for most of the season, and also gives Josie a larger problem than just the threatened destruction of the Mill. Additionally, she’s not the innocent princess she played herself out to be. Can Josie escape this situation? What would she have to do to make that happen? How long will she have to keep paying Hank to keep him quiet.

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The next scene finds us in Catherine Martell’s (Piper Laurie) office, and this one is really cute. Pete (Jack Nance) walks in, finding Catherine rummaging through her files and angry at something she can’t find. She turns on him, asking him where the account ledger is. Pete claims he didn’t take it, and Catherine accuses him of maybe working with Josie to undermine her. As they talk, Pete has to close the window blinds to keep the nosy co-workers from doing that Twin Peaks past-time. They reminisce over the past, the love they had. Pete bears her no ill will over how she’s been as of late. She reveals she’s in trouble, and needs his help. They make amends and he agrees to help. It’s a tender moment.

It’s a dark and stormy night. At the precinct, Hawk and Ed are telling everyone about how Andy saved the day. The story falls within earshot of Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who walks over to the kitchenette. This is it. It’s Andy’s moment, she’s impressed. He steps into the kitchenette, closes the doors for a bit of privacy and throws all his longing into a single heartfelt kiss that (thankfully) Lucy responds to. At this point, I’m truly happy for Andy.

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“Aw! There you go, Andy!!”, I say with a little applause.

“Oh Andy…” Lucy says. I lean forward to listen, smiling.

“Punky”, he says, listening.

“Punky?” I ask, thinking of Punky Brewster, an old show from the ‘80s.

“I’m pregnant.” Lucy says.

“What!!!???” I say, blinking before laughing. “What is with this show!?”

Andy, of course, is shocked into silence, as is everyone else. Lucy steps out of the kitchenette and informs everyone there’s “Fresh coffee” available before returning to her desk. It’s Ed head shake as he walks off camera that sells the scene. What the heck happened here?

Lucy receives a call from Bobby, playing as if he’s Leo. He tells her that Agent Cooper should look into James and that he’s an “Easy Rider”, alluding to the classic Dennis Hopper film featuring bikers smuggling drugs in their gas tanks.

At the hospital, Jacques Renault is being interrogated by Truman and Cooper. On questioning, Jacques confesses to taking Ronette and Laura to the cabin as well as taking the naughty photos of them (at Laura’s request). He got into a fight with Leo over a bottle that was broken over his head. Jacques woke up outside of the cabin, with Leo, Laura and Ronette gone. He knows nothing of the train car, but used Leo’s shirt to stop the bleeding in his head. Truman and Cooper speculate that Leo took the girls to the train car, and that they need to get Jacques to testify against Leo. They have their man.

Truman and Cooper also check in on Dr. Jacoby, the reason for Donna’s dad rushing into the Hospital. According to Dr. Hayward, Jacoby reporting getting a call from Laura Palmer and saw her by Easter Park before the incident. This changes things in the investigation for Cooper and Truman. As far as they know, the body they buried is Laura. Rosenfeld (Miguel Ferrer) confirmed it, and others did. What did Jacoby see out there?

As we reach the final 10 minutes of the episode, the pace quickens.

While searching for the Ledger, Catherine Martell receives a call from Hank, telling her the Ledger can be found at the mill. She makes herself ready to go, taking a revolver with her.

Hank confesses his feelings to Norma (Peggy Lipton), in that he wants to earn her trust again. He simply asks for a bit more time. However, even with a kiss, Norma knows that trusting Hank might bring her more trouble than she’d want.

Ed finally returns home to find Nadine unconscious on the floor. He quickly calls for an ambulance. Cradling her in his arms, he asks her not to leave him. Despite what he feels for Norma, there’s still a lot of love for Nadine there.

Back at the precinct, Lucy gives Truman the note about the call from “Leo”. On the way out to pick up James, Truman runs into Leland, who’s heard that they have a suspect in custody. Truman won’t give any details, but Leland gets the idea that the hospital might have the answers.

James is brought in. James gives Cooper the tape of Laura, but Cooper has questions for him, mostly about the drugs in his gas tank. Is James going to jail? Can he exonerate himself?

At the Great Western, Ben Horne receives a call from Hank, saying that they have to close the loop on Leo. Ben gives the go ahead. When Bobby goes by Shelly’s to check in on her, he’s confronted by Leo, who attacks him with an axe. Before he can land a killing blow, a shot rings out from outside, hitting him in the neck. He falls to a slump on the soft, and when Bobby peeks out the window, he finds Hank walking away. Bobby leaves Leo to his fate. What’s funny here is that the tv mirrors the reactions of the audience. I thought that was well done.

Shelly is tied up still at the Mill. Catherine, who’s amazingly calm in this scene, manages to rescue Shelly as the Mill begins to burn down. The scene transitions with someone hitting a fire alarm, but instead of being at the Mill, we’re at the hospital. A dark figure tapes Jacques Renault’s free hand to his bed and then proceeds to suffocate him with a pillow. As the pillow is pulled back, Leland Palmer is revealed as Jacques’ killer, justice served for what was done to his daughter. Back at the Mill, Pete rushes in with a fire extinguisher to rescue Catherine, if he can. Will he survive the fire? Did Catherine or Shelly?

Ben Horne can be seen signing some documents, sitting at a familiar desk with red drapes. We come to find he’s in Blackie’s office at One Eyed Jack’s. Blackie congratulates him on the deal with the Icelanders, referring to him as Boss. Boss?! He asks to have a look at the “New Girl”. As the finishing touches are being made on Audrey, she instantly recognizes the voice of Ben Horne, her own father as he begins to enter the room. Though neither have seen the other in this scene, Audrey now knows that he is the owner of One Eyed Jack’s. She’s also in some serious trouble.

The finale ends with Cooper returning to his room at the Great Northern. He’s pleased at the silence of having the Icelanders gone. With the exception of hot milk and a warm bed, he’s looking forward to it. “24 Hour Room service must be one of the premiere achievements of modern civilization.” He says. Stepping into the room, he finds an envelope labeled “My special agent”, presumably from Audrey. When the phone rings, he picks it up, but is distracted by a knock at the door. We can hear either Hawk or Andy on the phone, informing him that Leo Johnson was shot, but this doesn’t reach Cooper’s ears. On opening the door, a dark figure faces him, armed with a silenced pistol.

The pistol fires three times, and a thud is heard as we fade to black. Is Cooper Dead? Who shot him? And if he is dead, who’s going to save Audrey?! These and other questions will hopefully have answers in tomorrow’s recap of the Season 2 Premiere, which I’m also writing.

I’ll promise to keep it short next time.

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