Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.9 “Rain”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, a famous face shows up in the ER!

Episode 1.9 “Rain”

(Dir by Victor Hsu, originally aired on January 3rd, 1983)

Last night, after writing my review of Goodfellas, I watched the ninth episode of St. Elsewhere and there was Ray Liotta!

Liotta played Murray, a young man who came into the ER with a deep cut on his back.  Orderly Luther took one look at him and decided that he was a member of the same gang who mugged Fiscus a few episodes ago.  Luther then told Fiscus right before Fiscus was due to stitch Murray up.  Murray was indeed rude but Fiscus wasn’t particularly polite to him.  Fiscus didn’t stich up Murray’s wound but he did pull his gun on him.  Murray fled the ER and, after knocking over several doctors who were in his way, he jumped out of a window and escaped from St. Eligius.

As for Fiscus, he got a stern talking to from Dr. Westphall.  Westphall ordered Fiscus to get rid of the gun and told him that if he ever brought a weapon to work again, his residency would come to an end.  Fiscus agreed to not bring the gun to the ER anymore but he later told Dr. Chandler that he was terrified for his life.  I’ve been critical of Howie Mandel’s performance on this show but he actually did a pretty good job in this episode.  He was able to hold his own while sharing the screen with Denzel Washington.  That’s quite an accomplishment.

While Dr. Westphall yelled at Fiscus, Dr. Craig yelled at Ehrlich for spraining his pinkie while playing handball.  Dr. Craig demands to know how Ehrlich will ever make it as a surgeon if he doesn’t protect his hands.  Ehrlich spends the entire day trying to protect his hands and he continually fails.  (Ehrlich’s a bit of a klutz.)  Finally, Ehrlich storms into Craig’s office and interrupts a meeting to announce that he’s going to continue to play handball.  Craig shrugs and dismissively says, “He’s from California.”

As for the rest of this episode, it took place over one very long and rainy day.  Peter is still struggling as both a doctor and a husband.  When his daughter (a very young Candace Cameron Bure) was rushed to the hospital after eating mothballs, Peter blamed his wife and his wife blamed Peter.  Returning home from the hospital, Peter nearly hit his wife after she tossed his dinner on the floor.  It was scary to watch.  I’m getting a bad feeling about what’s going to happen with this marriage.

Dr. Morrison made the mistake of making a house call and soon, he discovered himself constantly being called by Mr. Lukovic (George Morfogen) whenever any of Lukovic’s neighbors were taken ill.  Morrison kept telling Lukovic to take his friends to the hospital but Lukovic talked about how, in the past, doctors would always make house calls.  When Morrison finally refused to go to Lukovic’s building, Lukovic brought his neighbor to the hospital.  The neighbor was in cardiac arrest but Morrison managed to get his heart beating again.  Rather than be thankful, Lukovic blamed Morrison for not responding to his call.  Morrison lost his temper and told Lukovic that he couldn’t keep living in the past.  “I will not call you again,” Lukovic replied.  Roll the end credits!

This was a pretty good episode, one that not only answered the question of why doctors don’t make housecalls but also which featured Ray Liotta being tough and dangerous.  There were a few annoying scenes involving the guy who thinks that he’s a bird but otherwise, this was a well-done and rainy hour.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

Oddly enough, this week’s episode is not available on Hulu.  I had to purchase it on Prime.  I’m not really sure why this episode — and apparently this episode alone — wouldn’t be on Hulu.  The world of Streaming is a strange and arbitrary place.

Episode 1.8 “Tweety and Ralph”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 20th, 1982)

Dr. Craig is still trying to track down the mysterious Dr. Barnum, the man who says that he’s interested in Craig’s convertible.  Dr. Craig is constantly getting messages from Barnum.  He’s constantly hearing Barnum being paged on the PA.  Craig has become obsessed with tracking down the elusive Dr. Barnum.

Of course, Dr. Barnum does not exist.  What started as a practical joke on the part of Dr. Samuels has grown into a hospital-wide conspiracy of people playing with the emotions of the pompous and prickly Dr. Craig.  Craig is so obsessed with selling his car that he even cuts his hand while working on the engine.  Finally, Dr. Craig’s wife, Ellen (played by William Daniels’s real-life wife, Bonnie Bartlett), confronts Samuels and tells him that she knows what he’s doing.  When Samuels hears that Craig cut his hand, he feels guilty.  He knows how important a surgeon’s hands are.  Samuels finally works up the courage to tell Craig the truth.  Craig laughs.  And then he punches out Dr. Samuels.

And you know what?  Dr. Samuels totally deserved it.  Good for you, Dr. Craig!

(Everyone seems to have forgiven Dr. Samuels for causing a VD break-out during the pilot.  They’re very forgiving at St. Eligius.)

Meanwhile, the Legionnaire’s outbreak is finally contained, with the culprit being one dirty shower head.  Ward 5 is re-opened!  Yay!  Dr. Westphall celebrates his victory but still comes across as being the most depressed man on the planet.  While that goes on, Dr. Fiscus reveals that he now carries a gun so he won’t get mugged in the ER again and Dr. Cavanero considers her decision to devote her life to her career when a friend check into the hospital for hysterectomy.

That said, the majority of the episode centered around Ralph (Richard Marcus) and Jane (Laraine Newman), two psychiatric patients.  Jane is pregnant and Ralph is the father.  Ralph is a genius who graduated at the top of his class from MIT and who invented his own personal computer.  Unfortunately, he also thinks that he’s a bird and has been stealing medical supplies to build a giant nest in one of the supply closets.  Jane wants to marry Ralph but, when she and Ralph go out to dinner with Dr. Beale, Jane can only watch in horror as Ralph panics at the sight of a cat.  “Caw!  Caw!” Ralph shouts as he jumps up on  a chair.  The cat, for its part, just looks confused.

In other words, the marriage is off.  Jane tells Ralph that she’ll always love him but that she can’t be with him anymore.  The episode ends with a close-up of Ralph intensely staring at the camera.  Uh-oh, that doesn’t look good….

This was a weird but ultimately effective episode.  I really shouldn’t have been as emotionally moved as I was by Ralph and Jane’s story.  Ralph’s behavior was more than a little cartoonish.  But, I have to admit that I felt really sad as Jane said goodbye to Ralph.  Richard Marcus and Laraine Newman did such a good job playing the characters that I couldn’t help but be sad that things weren’t working out for them.

Oh well.  I guess that’s just another day at St. Eligius….

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, the hospital’s in chaos!

Episode 1.7 “Legionnaires: Part Two”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on December 14th, 1982)

With one of the wards shut down due to a Legionnaires outbreak, the hospital is in crisis.  All of the patients from the infected ward and their doctors have been moved to a new floor and now, everyone is stressed and overworked.  Dr. Westphall insists to the Hospital Board that he has no regrets about shutting down the ward and that he did what he had to do.  Westphall is vindicated when it turns out that he was correct about the Legionnaires outbreak but he still has to admit that administrator H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest) has a point about Westphall’s actions causing a panic.  Cummings argues that Westphall could have quietly closed the ward without alerting the media.  In the end, it doesn’t matter as Cummings explains that he’ll be the one who gets fired over the bad publicity, not Westphall.  The episode ends with Westphall returning to his small home, carrying the birthday present that he was supposed to give his son that day.  Westphall has dedicated his life to the hospital and it’s obvious that his family has often had to wait until he has time for them.

(I’m starting to understand why Westphall always seems so damn depressed.)

Some people take advantage of the chaos.  Two gang members (one of whom is played by a very young Robert Davi) hit Fiscus over the head and steal his wallet after Fiscus stitches up one of their hands.  Peter White, eager to get away from his troubled marriage, shows up to work Morrison’s shift for him.  Dr. Chandler glares at a nurse that he previously accused of unprofessional behavior.  Dr. Craig tries to find someone foolish enough to buy his old convertible from him.  And head nurse Helen Rosenthal finds herself being called over and over again to the room of patient Martha Mulvahey (Ann Bronston).

Poor Martha!  She has a reputation for being a problem patient, because she’s always calling for the nurses and asking them to do things for her, like wash her hair or raise her bed.  Only Helen is willing to put up with Martha but even Helen loses her temper when Martha asks for help putting on her makeup.  Finally, Martha breaks down and explains that her arthritis is so severe that she can barely move her hands.  She’s a librarian and she can’t even turn the pages of a book anymore.  (Excuse me, I think I have something in my eye….)  A friend is coming to visit her at the hospital and she just wants to look good for him because she doesn’t want him to remember her as someone who can’t even get out of a hospital bed.  Helen helps Martha put on her makeup.  At the end of the episode, the hospital may be in chaos but Martha gets to see her friend and that made me happy and brought even more tears to my eyes.

Meanwhile, psychiatric patient Jane Zontell (Laraine Newman) returns to the hospital and checks herself back in for treatment.  Dr. Beale (G.W. Bailey) is shocked to learn that Jane is three months pregnant.  But it’s only been two months since Jane was last a patient at St. Eligius so that father must be someone at the hospital.  Uh-oh.

(Personally, I suspect Fiscus.)

This was a good episode.  I cried for Martha.  I felt bad for Westphall.  I hope someone buys Dr. Craig’s car so he’ll stop bothering everyone else about it.  This episode was about how bad things can get at a hospital but, with Martha and Rosenthal, it offered up some hope as well.  All in all, it worked.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, Peter White continues to disappoint everyone.

Episode 1.6 “Legionnaires: Part One”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on December 7th, 1982)

Dr. Peter White (Terence Knox) is perhaps the most incompetent doctor at St. Eligius.  Over the course of the first few episodes, we have watched as he’s taken advantage of his fellow residents, been rude to patients, misdiagnosed obvious medical conditions, and complained nonstop about how difficult his life is.  Dr. White is struggling to balance the punishing schedule of being a resident with also being a husband and the father to a young girl and a newborn.  He’s in over his head.

What’s interesting is that, despite all of his problems, he’s not a particularly sympathetic character and I don’t think he’s meant to be.  He’s never going to be a good doctor and he doesn’t have the courage to admit it.  Instead of finding a career for which he’s suited, he insists on being a doctor and risking the life of anyone unlucky enough to be his patient.  What makes Dr. White an especially disturbing character is that there are probably a lot of doctors in the real world who are just like him.  They’re overwhelmed and they make stupid mistakes.  I get overwhelmed sometimes too, as does everyone.  And, like everyone, I occasionally make mistakes.  However, my mistakes usually amount to something like missing a cringey typo that causes me to feel embarrassment until I get a chance to fix it.  A doctor’s mistake can lead to people dying.

This week, Dr. White attempts to give penicillin to a patient who is allergic.  Fortunately, Dr. Westphall is able to stop White from putting his patient into a coma.  Dr. White also manages to lose his hospital-issued pager and, when he’s told that it will cost him $300 to get a new one, he freaks out.  A chance meeting with a lawyer in the hospital cafeteria leads White to offer to sell out the hospital by recommending the lawyer to anyone willing to sue because they ended up with a doctor like Peter White.  White finally raises the money by donating his sperm.  The nurse at the sperm bank says that it’s really generous for a doctor to donate.  Not this doctor!

While Peter is screwing up his life, Dr. Westphall is dealing with what appears to be an outbreak of Legionnaire’s Disease in one of the wards.  Westphall wants to immediately shut down the ward.  Dr. Auschlander and board member H.J. Cummings (Christopher Guest — yes, that Christopher Guest) disagree.  However, after another young woman dies of what appears to be Legionnaire’s, Westphall orders the ward to be closed and the patients to be relocated.

Meanwhile, Kathy Martin broke up with Fiscus because she felt their fling was turning into a relationship and Dr. Cavanero dealt with a nurse who disliked her.  Neither one of those subplots did much for me, though Kathy is emerging as one of my favorite characters on this show.  Before breaking up with Fiscus, she goes to a funeral of a stranger just so he won’t be buried without someone there to mourn him.  She wears white to the funeral.  One doctor comments that she’s never seen Kathy wear white before.  Kathy’s a great character and deserves better than just being Fiscus’s girlfriend.

This episode was an improvement over the last episode I watched.  According to the title, it’s also only “Part One” so I imagine there will be some fallout over closing that ward next week.  We’ll see what happens.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.5 “Samuels and the Kid”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere featured Dr. Craig winning an award.  Good for him!

Episode 1.5 “Samuels and the Kid”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 30th, 1982)

This week’s episode of St. Elsewhere was kind of boring,  It wasn’t a bad episode because the show was well-acted and even the boring subplots felt as is they were part of a bigger whole but, especially when compared to last week’s episode, Samuels and the Kid just wasn’t as compelling.

The Kid of the title is Robbie Durant (Jeremy Licht), a young patient who needs to have some minor surgery done on his ankle.  Dr. Samuels take a really intense interest in the kid, bonding with him and even offering him tickets to a Patriots football game.  At first, it seems like Samuels is just trying to be nice to a kid who is in a scary situation.  (When I was growing up, I spent a few nights in the hospital because of my asthma and it always scared me to death.)  But, at the end of the episode, it is revealed that Samuels had a son who was Robbie’s age who died in a freak accident.  As for Robbie, the operation is a success but he still dies as the result of an embolism.  It was sad but, at the same time, I knew Robbie was going to die as soon as he showed up in the hospital.  I’ve seen enough medical shows to know.

Dr. Cavanero was at a bed-and-breakfast when she learned that one of her patients had gone into labor and was at her apartment alone.  Cavenro had to beg people for change so that she could use a pay phone to call the patient’s neighbors so that she could talk them through delivering the baby.  Seen today, the most interesting thing about this storyline is that it takes place at a time when people had to carry around quarters so that they could call each other in case of an emergency.  (There is a very dusty old payphone a few blocks away from my house.  I assume it doesn’t work and I don’t think it’s been touched by human hands since the 90s — and I’m certainly not going to touch it! — but it’s always interesting to see it sitting there like some haunted beacon of the past.)

Dr. Fiscus continued to have sex with Kathy Martin.  Good for them but I really don’t know that I need to spend a good deal of time listening to Howie Mandel talk about his sex life.

Dr. Chandler (Denzel Washington) accused a nurse of being incompetent.  Nurse Rosenthal (Christina Pickles) got mad at him for yelling at the nurse in the hospital hallway.  Dr. Westphall mediated and agreed to move the nurse to another floor.  Denzel Washington is always fun when he’s yelling at people.

There was one very funny scene.  Dr. Craig won an award for surgeon of the year and gave an extremely long, pompous, and rather bitter acceptance speech.  (The award was a plaster cast of his own hands.)  William Daniels played the scene perfectly and I have a feeling that Dr. Craig is going to end up becoming my favorite character.  As a bonus, Daniels’s wife, Bonnie Bartlett, appeared as Craig’s wife.  By the middle of Craig’s speech, even she had stoppled listening and lit a cigarette.

As I said, this was a little bit of a boring episode.   Still, I look forward to the future of the show!

Speaking of the future, this is my last St. Elsewhere review of 2024.  My next review of this show will post on January 3rd!

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.4 “Cora and Arnie”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week’s episode made me cry.

Episode 1.4 “Cora and Arnie”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 23rd, 1982)

While orderly Luther (Eric Laneuville) practices his karate moves in the hallway and anesthesiologist Vijay (Kavi Raz) composes a letter to his family in India and Dr. Fiscus continues his sex-only relationship with Kathy Martin, four patients learn about life and death at St. Eligius.

One of them is an unnamed man (Lionel Mark Smith) who comes in with a complaint of backpain.  Fiscus examines him and discovers that the man has been shot in the back.  The man announces that he’s on parole and he doesn’t feel like going back to prison.  Fiscus offers to admit him under an assumed name but the man says he already gave his real name to the front desk.  The man tries to leave the hospital but collapses from pain and blood loss.  Later, when the man wakes up, Fiscus tells him that the bullet has been removed and he’ll be fine.  The man says he won’t be fine because he’s going to go back to prison as soon as he leaves the hospital.

Meanwhile, Kathleen McAllister, who has been in a coma ever since Andrew Reinhardt set off a bomb at a bank, finally dies.  Reinhardt, when he’s informed of the news, sneers.  He doesn’t care that she died.  He’s all about the class struggle.  (If this show was made today, he’d have thousands of followers on Bluesky.)  When Dr. Beale tries to examine him to determine if he’s mentally ill, Reinhardt spits in his face.  Reinhardt is convinced that nothing will ever happen to him but, after Kathleen dies, he’s informed that he’s being taken to prison.  As Reinhardt is rolled out of his hospital room, Kathleen’s husband (Jack Bannon) appears in the hallway and shoots him dead.

George (Bernard Behrens) and Lillian Rogers (Anne Gerety) are tourists who are visiting Boston.  When Lillian faints in her hotel room, George rushes her to the hospital.  Lillian says she’s feeling fine but she still goes through a series of tests to determine why she fainted.  In the end, the tests are inconclusive.  No one can figure out why she fainted so she’s told to just see her family doctor when she returns home.  When George and Lillian check out of the hospital, they are presented with the bill for all the tests.  George freaks out when he sees that he’s being charged …. $1,380.90!

Now, admittedly, that is $1,380.90 in 1982 money.  If George received the same bill today, it would be for $4,517.10.  Still, considering all the tests that Lillian had done, that seems remarkable cheap, even by today’s standards.  My father died in August and the majority of his medical costs were covered by insurance but his estate is still receiving bills from various hospitals, specialists, and ambulance services.  I’ve been told that the same thing happened when my mom passed away in 2008.  (Personally, I think if someone dies while in your care, you’ve forfeited your right to be paid.)  By today’s standards, having to pay less that $5,000 feels like a bargain!

Finally, and most heart-breakingly, Dr. Morrison takes care of a homeless woman named Cora (Doris Roberts), who comes into the hospital with her companion, Arnie (James Coco).  Due to a head injury, Arnie is almost childlike.  While Cora learns that a case of gangrene is going to kill her unless she gets her foot amputated, Arnie repeatedly asks, “Can we go now?”  In the end, Cora chooses not to have the surgery, leaving the hospital with Arnie.  As she explains to Dr. Morrison, someone has to take care of Arnie and she can’t do that with just one foot.  When Morrison tells Cora that she’s probably going to die in a year, Cora shrugs and says it won’t be any great loss.

OH MY GOD!  Seriously, I was in tears at the end of this episode.  The Cora and Arnie story had the potential to be a bit too schmaltzy for its own but Doris Roberts and James Coco both gave such incredibly moving performances that I couldn’t help but get emotionally involved in their plight.  And I understood why Cora made the decision that she did.  Having been rejected by both her family and society, Cora knew that there wouldn’t be anyone around to take care of her after the operation.  So, she decided to accept things the way that they were and spend her last year with the one person who didn’t judge her, Arnie.  (I’m getting teary-eyed just writing about it.)  Playing out against all the other petty dramas going on at the hospital, this storyline was emotionally devastating.

This was a powerful episode.  Watching it, I understood why St. Elsewhere is so often described as being one of the best medical shows of all time.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.2 “Bypass”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, William Daniels claims the show as his own.

Episode 1.2 “Bypass”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 9th, 1982)

“Hey, it’s Tim Robbins!”

Yes, the future Oscar winner shows up in the second episode of St. Elsewhere, playing a rich kid-turned-terrorist named Andrew Reinhardt.  Reinhardt, who no doubt learned all about Marxism during his first semester away at college, set off a bomb in a bank, killing two people and putting a woman named Kathleen McCallister into a coma.  Both Reihnhardt and McCallister have been brought to St. Eligius.  While Kathleen’s husband, Stephen (Jack Bannon), sobs in the hallway, Reinhardt acts like a petulant brat in his hospital room.

With the nurses refusing to change his sheets or even give him his morphine shots, it falls to Dr. Morrison to take care of him.  Reinhardt is not at all appreciative and Morrison finds himself conflicted.  How is he supposed to give proper medical treatment to someone who he despises?  Morrison is so conflicted that he even goes to Dr. Westphall.  Westphall responds by telling a long story about a time that he fell in love with a patient.  I’m getting the feeling that Morrison feeling conflicted and Westphall telling long stories are both going to be regular features on this show.

(The correct answer to Morrison’s question about how he can take care of a bad person is as follows: It’s your job and you’re getting paid to do it.)

This episode also gave the viewer a chance to get to know Dr. Craig, the very talented but very egotistical head of surgery who is played by the great William Daniels.  Dr. Craig holds a press conference to inform reporters about the conditions of both Reinhardt and Kathleen McCallister and declares that, despite its bad reputation, “St. Eligius is the place to be!”  He then proceeds to get angry when the press is more interested in talking to the surgeon who actually saved Kathleen’s life than to him.

Dr. Craig browbeats a Mr. Broadwater (Robert Costanzo) into getting bypass surgery done.  The surgery appears to have been a success but it’s hard to ignore that Craig essentially bullied the guy into getting a major operation, one that could have killed him if the least little thing had gone wrong.  Resident Victor Ehrlich (Ed Begley, Jr.) assists in the operation and, at one point, Dr. Craig intentionally head butts him when Ehrlich cannot name all of the arteries leading into the heart.  It’s a bit aggressive but, on the plus side, Ehrlich does learn all of the names.  Afterwards, Dr. Craig brags about how his own son is following in his footsteps and tells Mr. Broadwater’s son that some day, a new Dr. Craig will operate on him.  In other words, Dr. Craig is kind of a jerk but he’s good at what he does and he’s played by William Daniels so it’s hard to hold anything against him.

There were other subplots playing out in the background, the majority of which just seemed to be there to remind us that St. Elsewhere is an ensemble show and that, just because someone isn’t a major character in this episode, that doesn’t mean they won’t be important later on.  Psychiatrist Hugh Beale (G.W. Bailey) attempted to learn how to swim and ended up taking a class with a bunch of children.  Dr. Fiscus (Howie Mandel, the least convincing doctor ever) held court in the cafeteria and claimed that the hormones used in processing food were causing children to develop earlier than ever before.  Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox) wandered around with a bunch of X-rays and begged everyone he met to help him understand what he was (or wasn’t) seeing.  If nothing else, this episode did a good job of capturing the idea of the hospital as being a place that’s always busy.

For the most part, though, it was Dr. Craig who carried this episode.  While Morrison and Westphall ponderously considered the implications of doing their jobs, Craig was an arrogant, angry, and brilliant dynamo and William Daniels’s high-energy performance was a pleasure to watch.  Whenever the episode started to slow down, Dr. Craig would liven things up by yelling at someone.  The hospital was lucky to have Dr. Craig and St. Elsewhere was lucky to have William Daniels.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

When I started reviewing Homicide, Jeff suggested that I should also review St. Elsewhere because the two shows shared a similar sensibility and a lot of behind-the-scenes personnel.  (Homicide showrunner Tom Fontana started out as a writer on St. Elsewhere.)  Apparently. a few characters from St. Elsewhere would eventually cross-over to Homicide.  Since I’m planning on soon reviewing two shows that were descended from HomicideOz and The Wire — it only seemed right to also review a show that was Homicide’s ancestor.

Though the show aired largely before my time, St. Elsewhere is definitely a show that I have heard about.  Everyone who follows American pop culture has either read about or seen the show’s infamous final episode and knows about the Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis.  Obviously, I can’t get into it now because that would be a spoiler but we’ll discuss it when the time comes!

For now, let’s start at the beginning, with the pilot!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on October 26th, 1982)

St. Eligius is a hospital in Boston that has obviously seen better days.  From the outside, it looks old.  On the inside, the hallways have the dim and dull look of a building that hasn’t been renovated in over ten years.  As Dr. Mark Craig (William Daniels, long before he played Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World) angrily puts it, the hospital gets no respect in Boston.  It’s seen as being a “dumping ground” for patients who can’t afford anything better.  Dr. Craig is world-renowned heart surgeon whose wealthy patients have donated what few improvements the hospital has seen over the past few years.  (“All of our clocks now read the same time!” Dr. Craig brags at one point.)  But not even Dr. Craig can change the hospital’s reputation as being secondary to Boston General.

There are actually a few good things about St. Eligius.  For one thing, a young Denzel Washington is on staff, playing resident Phillip Chandler.  Denzel doesn’t get to do much in the pilot but still, his presence fills the viewer with confidence.  St. Eligius is also home to a world-renowned liver specialist, Dr. Daniel Auschlander (played by Norman Lloyd, who also worked with Hitchcock and Orson Welles).  Auschlander has liver cancer but the hospital chief-of-staff, Dr. Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders), assures everyone that Auschlander will probably “out live us all.”  (And he was right, to an extent.  Norman Lloyd lived to be 106 years old before passing away in 2021.  Ed Flanders died, tragically by suicide, in 1995.)  St. Eligius is a teaching hospital and the residents want to make a good impression by keeping their patients alive.  That’s always a good thing.

At the same time, how secure can you feel when Howie Mandel is one of the residents?  Mandel plays Dr. Wayne Fiscus, who wears a baseball cap and acts …. well, he acts a lot like Howie Mandel.  Like Washington, Mandel doesn’t do a lot in the pilot.  He does get a subplot where he apparently has sex in the morgue with goth pathologist Cathy Martin (Barbara Whinnery) but otherwise, we don’t see him treating a patient or anything like that.  Still, it’s a bit jarring to see Howie Mandel as a doctor.  I would not necessarily want him for my doctor because he’s to be easily distracted.  Maybe he’ll change my mind as the series progresses.

Speaking of sex, Dr. Ben Samuels (David Birney) has gonorrhea and spends most of the pilot approaching doctors and nurses and informing them of his conditions and suggesting that they might want to get tested themselves.  That’s not exactly the best way to be introduced to a character but it also lets us know that this show is not just going to be about dedicated doctors who spend all of their time worrying about their patients and making amazing medical discoveries.  Instead, this show is also about doctors who get venereal diseases.  Has anyone checked on Fiscus in the morgue?

(That said, Dr. Samuels does get a scene where he saves the life of a woman who was injured in a terrorist bombing, as if the show does want to make sure that we know that he can do his job, even if he is spreading VD through the hospital.)

The majority of the episode follows Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse), a first-year resident who has been working several 24-hour shifts and who complains, at one point, that he hasn’t seen his wife for days.  Dr. Morrison gets upset when a surgeon wants to operate on one of his patients, a 15 year-old girl named Sandy (Heather McAdams).  Morrison believes that surgeons always want to cut into somebody.  Morrison gets even more upset when Sandy’s mother requests that Sandy be transferred to Boston General, which has a reputation for being a better, more modern hospital.  In fact, Morrison is so upset and exhausted that he forgets to file a death certificate for a patient who dies during the night.  As a result, it’s believed that the patient, who has a reputation for being violent, has gone missing and is stalking the hospital.  Dr. Annie Cavanero (Cynthia Sikes) spends the entire episode looking for a dead man, which at least gives her an excuse to visit every ward and introduce the viewers to the members of the show’s ensemble cast.

Having lost my mom to cancer and now my Dad to Parkinson’s, I was hesitant about reviewing St. Elsewhere.  (Actually, I was hesitant about reviewing any medical show.)  When my Dad was in the hospital, I felt like I couldn’t get anyone to give me a straight answer about his condition and I often felt the doctors were talking down to me.  To be honest, my worst conflicts were with the nurses, one of whom told me that I would have to “lose the attitude” before she would explain why my father had been moved to the Delirium Ward.  (It didn’t help that, at the same time my Dad was in the hospital, there was a huge storm that left us without power for a week.)  At the same time, there were other doctors who were helpful.  The staff at the rehab center that my dad was sent to were also wonderful.  I have my regrets about agreeing to hospice care but the nurse who was assigned to my Dad was very empathetic and totally understanding whenever I asked her for a cigarette.  (Under normal circumstances, I don’t smoke because I have asthma but seriously, the stress was killing me.)  I’m bitter and angry about a lot of what happened but I’m also thankful for the small moments of kindness.

Watching a show set in a hospital was not easy for me but the pilot of St. Elsewhere appealed to me with its mix of melodrama and humor.  There was a quirkiness to it that I appreciated.  William Daniels made me laugh with his annoyed rant about how little respect the hospital received.  Most of all, I cared about whether or not Dr. Morrison would still be alive at the end of his shift.  David Morse’s performance won me over.  He’s the type of doctor that I would want to have.  Well, actually, I’d probably want Denzel to my doctor but Dr, Morrison could assist.  Just keep Dr. Howie Mandel away from me.  Nothing against him but he seemed to be having way too much fun at the hospital….

Most importantly, the show ended with a cat.

Next week, the drama continues at St. Elsewhere!

Film Review: Tribulation (dir by Andre Van Heerden)


The Apocalypse saga continues with 2000’s Tribulation!  This is the film that answers the question: How do you get an outspoken atheist and a prominent Jewish entertainer to star in your evangelical Christian propaganda film?  Apparently, you do it by not revealing what type of film that you’re making.

At least, that’s what Margot Kidder said happened.  In an interview with the AV Club, Kidder said that neither she nor Howie Mandel realized that they were appearing in a Christian film until they got on the set, looked at the complete script, and asked why Kidder’s character mysteriously vanished from the film.  According to Kidder, this was a film that she did because she was broke, she couldn’t get a job because she had a reputation for being difficult, and she was offered a lot of money to go up to Toronto for a week and shoot a few scenes.  And so, Kidder, who was not a fan of religion in general, was cast as Eileen Canboro, the outspoken Christian who tries to teach everyone about the rapture.

To quote Kidder: “And I still get stopped by those freaky fundamentalists going “Oh, I’m so glad you did Tribulation.” And I wanna go, “Don’t count me into your group, honeybuns. I’m not one of you.”

As for the film itself, it stars Gary Busey as Tom Canboro, a police detective who is indifferent to religion.  His brother-in-law is Jason Quincy (Howie Mandel), an occultist who, early on in the film, gets possessed by a bunch of Satanists.  The film never really makes it clear why Jason was possessed, beyond I guess to warn against using Ouija boards or reading New Age literature.  After Jason is briefly possessed, the Satanists decide that they have to kill everyone who saw him possessed so that no one learns of their existence.  (But it seems like it would have just been simpler to not possess anyone in the first place.)  All of this leads to Tom eventually slipping into a coma.  Don’t ask how.  It just does.

While Tom’s out of it, the events of the first two movies happen.  Franco Manculousso (Nick Mancuso) magically rids the world of nuclear missiles and declares himself to be the messiah.  Millions of people — including Margot Kidder — mysteriously vanish.  An underground rebellion — labeled “The Haters” by Manculousso — forms against the one world government.  Everyone in the world is given a VR headset that will allow Manculousso to either kill them or steal their soul by giving them the mark of the beast.

(In this film, getting the mark of the beast means that you literally end up with 666 tattooed on your hand.  One thing I always find interesting about films like this is how they take everything in Biblical prophecy so literally.  For instance, 7 is the number of God so therefore it makes sense that the number of the Beast’s number would be 6 because the Beast will always be powerful but ultimately inferior.  He’ll be “one away” from God.  However, films like this always feature people wandering around with 666 prominently displayed on their body and oddly, no one ever says, “Hey, have you ever seen that Omen movie?”)

Anyway, Tom eventually wakes up and finds himself trapped in this brand new world.  It turns out that his sole remaining brother is now prominent follower of Manculousso’s and Jason is now involved in the Hater underground.  A few characters from the previous films pop up, largely so they can be executed by Manculousso.  You know how it goes.

Anyway, if Apocalypse was basically a found footage film and Revelation was an action film, Tribulation is a horror film, complete with demonic possession, exploding heads, and virtual reality snakes.  It’s also a bit slow — it takes forever for Tom to actually enter that coma — but it has a few effective scenes.  Howie Mandel, for instance, really throws himself into being possessed.  As for Gary Busey, Margot Kidder said in that previously cited interview that he was a “pain in the ass” to work with but he actually gives a …. well, I don’t know if it’s really a good performance but it’s definitely interesting.  He’s credible during the first half of the film and then, during the second half of the film, he seems to be genuinely confused.  There’s a few weird moments where he smiles when he definitely shouldn’t be smiling but otherwise, Busey’s okay in this film.

There would be one more film in the Apocalypse saga, Judgment.  I’ll be posting a review of that film in 15 minutes.  Hope to see you there!

Playing Catch Up: First Daughter, Ice Girls, Raising The Bar, Walk Like A Man


So, this year I am making a sincere effort to review every film that I see.  I know I say that every year but this time, I really mean it.  Unfortunately, over the past two weeks, real life has interfered with my movie reviewing, if not my move watching.

So, in an effort to catch up, here are four quick reviews of some of the movies that I watched over the past two weeks!

  • First Daughter
  • Released: 2004
  • Directed by Forest Whitaker
  • Starring Katie Holmes, Marc Blucas, Amerie, Michael Keaton, Margaret Colin, Lela Rochon

Michael Keaton as the President of the United States!?  Now, that’s a great idea.  Michael Keaton plays President Mackenzie.  First Daughter was made long before Birdman so Michael Keaton doesn’t really have a huge part but, whenever he does appear, he is totally believable as a world leader.  You buy the idea that this guy could win an election and that he’d probably be a good (if not necessarily a great) President.  Someone really needs to make another movie where Michael Keaton plays the President.  Maybe President Birdman.  Just don’t give it to Inarritu to direct because he’ll make it too political…

Anyway, the majority of the film is about Katie Holmes as the President’s daughter, Samantha.  Samantha has been accepted to a college in California.  She’s excited because it means that she’ll finally be able to have a life outside of the White House.  The President is concerned because he loves his daughter and he knows that, if she makes any mistakes in California, his political opponents will try to use her against him.  Samantha goes off to college and tries to have a good (but rather chaste) time.  Making that somewhat difficult is her secret service entourage.  Fortunately, Samantha meets a guy (Marc Blucas) who loves her for who she is and not because her father is the President.

It’s all pretty silly and shallow but I have to admit that I get nostalgic whenever I see this movie.  Much like From Justin To Kelly, it’s definitely a film from a more innocent and less angry time.  To date, it’s also the last film to be directed by actor Forest Whitaker.

  • Ice Girls
  • Released in 2016
  • Directed by Damian Lee
  • Starring Michaela du Toit, Lara Daans, Arcadia Kendal, Sheila McCarthy, Taylor Hunsley, Shane Harte, Elvis Stojko

Struggling financially, Kelly (Lara Daans) is forced to move back to her hometown and move in with her sister (Sheila McCarthy).  Until she got married and gave up that part of her life, Kelly was once an up-and-coming figure skater.  Fortunately, her daughter, Mattie (Michaela du Toit), has inherited her mother’s talent.  However, a serious injury shook Mattie’s confidence.  Now, she says she doesn’t want to skate anymore.  Still, she’s willing to accept a job from Mercury (Elvis Stojko) at the local rink and it’s not too long before, under Mercury’s guidance, Mattie is skating once again.  Mattie also befriends another skater, Heather (Taylor Hunsley).  Heather happens to be the daughter of Rose (Natasha Henstridge), who was once in love with Kelly’s father…

It sounds like the set-up of a melodramatic Lifetime movie but actually, Ice Girls is a sweet-natured film about two ice skaters, one who has a mother who is too protective and the other who has a mother who is too driven.  In the end, both of them end up skating for themselves and not their mothers and that’s a good message for the film’s target audience of young skate fans.  The majority of the cast is made up of actual ice skaters, so the skating footage is pretty impressive.  It’s a predictable movie but I enjoyed it when I watched it on Netflix.

  • Raising the Bar
  • Released in 2016
  • Directed by Clay Glen
  • Starring Kelli Berglund, Lili Karamalikis, Tess Fowler, Emily Morris, Peta Shannon

I also watched this one on Netflix, a day after I watched Ice Girls.  (I was in an Olympics sort of mood, even though neither film took place at the Olympics.)  Raising the Bar feels a lot like Ice Girls, except that the ice skaters were now gymnasts and instead of relocating to Toronto, the family in Raising the Bar relocates all the way to Australia.  Once in Australia, Kelly (Kelly Johnson) finds the courage to re-enter gymnastics and ends up competing against her former teammates.

Kelly Johnson gives a good performance in the lead role.  Though it may be predictable, Raising the Bar is an effective and sweet-natured family film.  Perhaps the most interesting thing about watching the film was that I quickly found myself rooting against the American team.  Australia all the way!

  • Walk Like A Man
  • Released 1987
  • Directed by Melvin Frank
  • Starring Howie Mandel, Amy Steel, Cloris Leachman, Christopher Lloyd, Colleen Camp, Stephen Elliott, George DiCenzo, John McLiam, Earl Boen

Oh, what sweet Hell is this?

Okay, I’m going to try to explain what happens in this movie.  You’re not going to believe me.  You’re going to think that I’m just making all of this up.  But I swear to a God … this is an actual movie.

When he was a baby, Boba Shand (Howie Mandel) got separated from his family.  His mother and his father assumed that he was gone forever but what they didn’t know was that Bobo was found and raised by a pack of wild dogs.  For twenty years, Bobo lives as a dog.  Then he’s discovered by Penny (Amy Steel), an animal researcher who tries to teach Bobo how to be a human.  However, as time passes, Penny comes to realize that maybe she’s making a mistake trying to change Bobo.  Bobo is innocent and child-like and obsessed with chasing fire engines.  When he has too much to drink, he runs around on all fours.  And … PENNY’S IN LOVE WITH HIM!

Seriously, she’s in love with a man who thinks he’s a dog.

However, Bobo stands to inherit a fortune and his evil brother (Christopher Lloyd) is planning on having him committed.  Penny has to prove that Bobo is human enough to manage his own affairs while also respecting his desire to continue living like a dog.

I’m serious.  This is a real movie.

Anyway, making things even worse is the performance as Howie Mandel.  Mandel has always been a rather needy performer and the role of a man who thinks he’s a dog only serves to bring out his worst instincts.  Remember when Ben Stiller played Simple Jack in Tropical Thunder?  Well, Mandel’s performance is kinda like that only worse.  At one point, Bobo walks up to a mannequin in a mall and says, “I have to go pee pee.  Come with me,” and I nearly threw a shoe at the TV.  Oh my God, it was so bad.

The main problem with Walk Like A Man is that it wants to have it both ways.  It wants to be a wild comedy about Howie Mandel chasing fire engines but it also makes us want to tear up when Penny explains why Bobo should be allowed to live as a dog.

All in all, it’s a really bad movie.  And yes, it does actually exist.