<a href="https://unobtainium13.com/" title="Through the Shattered Lens" rel="home">Through the Shattered Lens

I wrote about this obscure pilot here!

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

Sally talked to women who felt their marriage were in trouble. All of the husband were total deadbeats. One guy came out on stage wearing his uniform from McDonald’s. I’m sure the bosses were really happy about that.

So Here’s What Happened (YouTube)

Square Pegs (YouTube)

This was a sitcom from the early 80s, about two girls trying to be popular in high school. I watched the pilot on Friday night and I smiled a few times. Trying to fit in is a timeless subject. One of the girls was played by Sarah Jessica Parker, who I love because, like me, she’s a part of the Big Nose Crew. BNC FOREVER!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about Acting Sheriff here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about it here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/21/24 — 1/27/24

Posted on January 27, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week!

Acting Sheriff (YouTube)

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

A new season of The Bachelor started this week. After skipping the previous few installments of this franchise, I did watch the first episode of the latest season. The new bachelor is kind of dull but I enjoyed seeing the mansion and all of the clothes. Jesse is kind of a boring host. The Bachelor hasn’t been fun since Chris Harrison was fired for upsetting the online horde.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out may be an hour or two late this week. It’s been a busy day.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which the Cutlers talked to a woman who was accused of cheating on her fiancée with her husband. What? Yes, it was confusing and silly and the fact that the fiancée had a high-pitched, cartoon character voice did not help matters. This was one of those episodes where they brought in the “voice analysist” to determine who was lying. Considering that everyone on the show had a terrible voice, I did not envy the analysist. That said, I also have a hard time understanding how voice analysis can be used in the place of a polygraph. Anyway, no one was cheating according to their voices.

I followed this up with an episode in which a husband accused his wife of cheating because of muddy footprints that he found in his home. The wife was not cheating and the husband was a bit of a paranoid freak.

Later, I watched an episode in which a man felt that his wife was cheating on him because she was no longer wearing sexy underwear around him, despite the fact that he kept finding brand new thongs in the laundry. The lie detector indicated that she was indeed cheating. The wife, at one point, said that she felt like she was “starring in a romantic comedy with Will Smith.”

Then, tonight, I watched an episode in which a woman thought her much older husband was cheating on her with her best friend because she found her friend in their bed. Fortunately, it turned out that the husband was faithful and the best friend was just a blackout drunk.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

Extended Family (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I had no interest in watching this show but I was watching Peacock on Wednesday night and I was too lazy to switch to another streaming service when the show automatically started. Jon Cryer plays a divorced father in Boston who is still friends with his ex-wife and her new fiancé. Why is everything always set in Boston? Seriously, who care about freaking Boston?

Anyway, I was so lazy that I ended up watching the first two episodes and they were both pretty dire. The “created by Mike O’Malley” credit card explained why. Cryer, our beloved Duckie, is even more pathetic here than he was as wimpy Alan on Two and a Half Men. (Disclaimer: I think I’ve seen like five episodes of Two and A Half Men, maybe six.) It’s sad to think that NBC has gone from The Office to Night Court/Extended Family.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)

I was so happy Ryan won! This was one of Hell’s Kitchen’s best seasons. While Big Brother, Survivor, and even The Amazing Race have struggled to remain relevant in our new, post-COVID age, Hell’s Kitchen succeeds by not messing with what works.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

Judge Dad (YouTube)

I watched two episodes of this courtroom show on Monday. The very slow-talking judge heard a case about a woman who wanted another woman to pay for her $900 Prada dress. The second case involved a woman who felt that her ex owed her some sort of compensation for giving her COVID. The second case bothered me because the judge’s ruling didn’t seem to follow any sort of legal precedent. I then noticed a disclaimer that stated that 1) Judge Dad was not a legal expert but just some guy making his own decisions and 2) the litigants were actors and the cases were all fictional.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which a tenant sued her landlord for setting up spy cameras in her apartment and “recording me in my lingerie.” Judge Dad was particularly upset by this case. “I feel like you are my daughter!” he thundered, “You must make better decision about where you live!” The landlord was really, really sleazy and disgusting but again, the whole thing was fictional so …. yeah.

Judge Mom (YouTube)

On Wednesday, I watched an episode of Judge Dad‘s companion series, Judge Mom. A young comic book artist accused an older artist of stealing his ideas. Judge Mom found in favor of the younger artist. Just as with Judge Dad, the episode ended with a disclaimed that “Judge Mom is not a legal expert” and the case was fictional. The acting on Judge Mom was far less convincing than the acting on Judge Dad.

It was just bad enough that I had to watch a second episode. This one featured a set of parents suing a little league team for “firing” their son from the team. Judge Mom was offended by how petty all of the adults were. Little league is supposed to be about the kids! You tell ’em, Judge Mom!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Miami Vice (Tubi)

Monsters (Tubi)

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

It’s weird. This is a badly conceived show that rarely even makes me smile and yet it’s something that I find myself watching on Peacock whenever I’m bored and I don’t have time to watch anything that runs longer than 21 minutes. I don’t know why this is, because I really don’t care much for the show and it’s only gotten worse in its second season. I think the problem is that Abby Stone is way too naive to be a judge and her nonstop enthusiasm can be a bit hard to take. For instance, this week’s episode featured her still trying to get over breaking up with her boyfriend and obsessing over her inability to get a date. That story had comedic potential but seriously, Abby’s a judge. IN NEW YORK CITY! Toughen up!

Paternity Court (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday. Fortunately, the former army officer who had just returned from deployment was the father.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th: The Series 1.16 “Tattoo”

Posted on January 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, a pair of tattoo needles cause trouble!

Episode 1.16 “Tattoo”

(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)

Tommy Chen (Leonard Chow) is a first generation Chinese-American who has a gambling problem. He owes several thousand dollars to the local gangsters and his grandfather, Lum Chen (Keye Luke), is no longer willing to help cover his costs.

However, Tommy thinks that he’s found the perfect solution for his problems. He has two cursed tattoo needles. All he has to do is tattoo something on someone’s body. That tattoo will come to life and, as long as the tattooed person dies, Tommy will win whatever game that he’s playing. With a gangster demanding that he pay his debts by the end of the night, Tommy is going from gambling den to gambling den, drawing tattoos and making money. Unfortunately, he owes so much that almost every dollar that he makes is taken away from him as soon as he receives it.

And, of course, he also has Ryan, Micki, and Jack trying to track him down as well.

I had mixed feelings about this episode. On the one hand, the tattoo needles are a totally impractical weapon because Tommy, who is a little bit on the small side, has to find a way to get his victims to lie still and not resist while he tattoos him. His first victim is a half-conscious woman at an Opium den and that’s at least believable. But, by the time Tommy is tattooing a gangster, you have to wonder if there isn’t a more practical way for him to make money.

On the other hand, the sight of the tattoos coming to life and crawling (or slithering) up their victims is definitely a frightening one. One tattoo turns into a giant spider. Another turns into a coral snake. One tattoo turns into a fist that bursts out of someone’s chest. (That made me jump.) The needles may be impractical but if you have a thing about spiders and snakes (as I do), it really won’t matter. They’re too frightening for the viewer to spend too much time worrying about the logic of how they actually work.

Fortunately, Ryan and Jack are able to recover the needles and use them to kill the latest tattoo before it can claim a victim. Unfortunately for Tommy, he’s playing Russian roulette at the time. Even more unfortunately for Micki, she’s standing close enough to get splattered by blood when Tommy’s gun turns out to have a bullet in the chamber. I have to admit that I’ve never gotten the appeal of Russian roulette. I’ve always assumed it must be a guy thing. Myself, I see the gun being traded back and forth and I say, “Yikes!”

Next week, a cursed electric chair falls into the hands of a dentist …. AGCK!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/14/24 — 1/20/24

Posted on January 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I am typing this post on a new laptop. Woo hoo!

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

American Nightmare (Netflix)

This was a disturbing, 3-part docuseries about a woman who was kidnapped and raped and then put on trial by the police and the media, all of whom seemed to be determined to prove that she was a real life “gone girl.” This series was just infuriating to watch and everyone who nearly allowed Matthew Muller to get away with his crimes should be ashamed of themselves.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

Check It Out (Tubi)

I need to write a review about this week’s episode so I guess I better get on that.

CHiPs (Freevee)

Couples Court With The Cutlers (YouTube)

On Friday, I watched an episode in which a man was concerned that his much younger girlfriend was cheating on him with another woman. She confessed, while being interrogated by a former military interrogator, that he was correct. The Cutlers were there to help this couple through the drama.

On Saturday, I discovered an entire YouTube channel dedicated to Couples Court so I probably won’t get anything accomplished for the first half of 2024.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

On Monday morning, as I shivered in the living room, I got caught up on Hell’s Kitchen and watched the first Black Jacket Service. What a disaster that turned out to be! I felt bad for Jonathan, who did not react well to Chef Ramsay taunting him about how much he drank before dinner service. Jonathan had a point, in that Ramsay really was kind of making it personal. At this point, I think the final two will be Ryan and Sammi. I’m Team Ryan all the way!

On Thursday, I cheered as Ryan and Sammi made it to the final three. I probably would have kept Carmen and sent Jonathan home but I can understand Ramsay’s logic. Jonathan had more experience than Carmen and Carmen did struggle early on in the season.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Miami Vice (Tubi)

I wrote about Poochinski here!

Maury (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode with DNA results. All of the episodes of Maury to blend together, which I guess is the appeal of them. They demand very little on the part of the viewers.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

I was actually bored enough on Wednesday to watch the first four episodes of this show’s second season. While the ensemble seems to be gelling a bit better than they did during the first season, Night Court just isn’t that funny. Every joke sounds like it’s been sitting in some writer’s idea drawer since 2005.

Poochinski (YouTube)

Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode in which Steve talked to a pregnant 17 year-old. She thought her boyfriend was 25. It turned out he was 38! Needless to say, Steve kicked him off the stage while the audience chanted Steve’s name.

On Thursday, I watched an episode about threesomes that led to pregnancies. The audience loved it but Steve seemed to be disappointed by everyone on his stage.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.15 “Vanity’s Mirror”

Posted on January 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode is a classic of teen angst, vanity, and murder!

Episode 1.15 “Vanity’s Mirror”

(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

Poor Helen Mackie (played by Ingrid Veninger)!

A student at Hamilton High, the shy and physically awkward Helen is as unpopular as her older and far more attractive sister, Joanne (Gwendoline Pacey), is popular. Helen has a crush on Scott Thomas (David Orth), who is Joanne’s boyfriend but little does she suspect that Scott is only nice to her because he’s trying to impress her sister. Scott’s friends, including Russell (who is played by Simon Reynolds, who also played Murray the bagboy on Check It Out!), all make fun of Helen and the fact that no one has asked her to prom.

However, things are about to change for Helen because she has gotten her hands on a gold compact. All she has to do is open the compact and shine the mirror in a boy’s direction and the boy will automatically fall in love with her. It happens with Russell. It happens with Greg (Zack Ward). And Helen hopes that it will happen with Scott as well. Of course, as with all the cursed antiques, there is a catch. Helen is driven to murder anyone who is in love with her.

Needless to say, Jack, Micki, and Ryan all show up and try to get the compact from Helen before she can use it to score a prom date. But this episode truly is Helen’s story and it is dominated by Ingrid Veninger’s performance as Helen. At first, it’s impossible not to feel sorry for Helen. Everyone at school is so cruel to her that you’re on her side. But once Helen actually starts using the mirror and killing her boyfriends, she becomes far less sympathetic. She gets way too much enjoyment out of killing people and the viewer is left to wonder if it was the cursed antique that corrupted Helen or if perhaps Helen is only now showing her true self. Has Helen always been evil or is she simply lashing out at a world that has always treated her like an outsider? It’s a fair question and not one that is easily answered.

In the end, having finally stolen her sister’s boyfriend and gotten the prom date that she always wanted, Helen climbs to the roof of her high school and then plunges to her death, taking Scott with her. Micki, Jack, and Ryan can only watch helplessly and then, to top it all off, the compact disappears once again. Someone (we don’t see their face) spots it on the ground and grabs it. Considering that the episode opened with Ryan and Jack finally rather cocky about their recent successes, this episode ends with a reminder that good does not always triumph.

In other words, this is a very dark episode but also a very effective one. If nothing else, it’s an episode that shows us why it’s so important to track down and take possession of the cursed antiques. There are a lot of Helen Mackies in the world.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/7/24 — 1/13/24

Posted on January 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I’m sitting here as a cold front rolls through my town. The temperature is way below freezing and it will remain that way for at least the next three days. So, I look forward to hiding underneath a lot of blankets and watching a lot of TV between now and Thursday morning.

Here’s some thoughts on what I watched this week:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of Check It Out will be dropping later tonight.

CHiPs (Freevee)

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

My review of Degrassi Junior High will (finally) post tomorrow! Keep hope alive!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a two-part episode of Dr. Phil on as background nose. Dr. Phil was talking to people who felt their sons and daughters had been brainwashed by a cult in Louisiana. And indeed, they had been. Cults are weird. I never know how to react to people who fall for that stuff.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

Friday the 13th (YouTube)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Highway to Heaven (YouTube)

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Maury (YouTube)

On Friday, I used two paternity tests episodes of Maury for background noise while I was watching. I feel very disappointed in myself. On Saturday, I disappointed myself even further by watching an episode of Maury that featured lie detector tests.

Miami Vice (Tubi)

Monsters (Tubi)

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday, I watched an episode of this show from the 90s. It featured music video profiles of The Kinks and The Cure, along with a tour of Universal Studios.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

I watched an episode of this ancient talk show on Thursday. Sally talked to kids who were being bullied and then confronted the bullies on the air. I felt bad for all of the bullied kids, except for the one who said being bulled made him hate America. If that’s how you feel, move.

On Friday, I watched an episode about women who could not forgive their men for cheating. I don’t blame them but I bet half of them ended up marrying the guy anyways.

Saved By The Bell (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

Casey Kasem hosted a dance contest and encouraged everyone to do the sprain. Jessie freaked out because a short guy wanted to date her. A new substitute teacher taught everyone to appreciate Shakespeare. Wow, this was a dumb but addictive show.

The Steve Wilkos Show (YouTube)

On Tuesday afternoon, I put on an episode of Steve Wilkos for background noise. Steve was screaming at a woman who he felt was an unfit mother. And who knows? Maybe she was an unfit mother. But Steve definitely came across as being a bully and his chanting audience didn’t help matters.

On Saturday morning, I watched an episode in which Wilkos threw several chairs across the stage while the crowd chanted, “Steve! Steve! Steve!”

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about the second episode of Turn-On! here!

Turn-On! (YouTube)

TV 2000 (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, I watched an episode of this old music video show. The episode was from 1985 and it featured a lot of good music, along with some slightly annoying hosts.

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Friday the 13th 1.14 “Bedazzled”

Posted on January 12, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week’s episode of Friday the 13th is …. well, it’s not that good. Let’s talk about it.

Episode 1.14 “Bedazzled”

(Dir by Alexander Singer, originally aired on February 22nd, 1988)

With Jack and Ryan out of town to attend an astrology convention, Micki has got the antique store to herself …. or, at least, she does until she agrees to babysit a bratty kid named Richie (Gavan Magrath). Even worse than Richie are Jonah (Alan Jordan) and Tom (David Mucci), who claim to be telephone repairmen but who are actually at the store because they want to retrieve a cursed lantern that was taken from them by Jack and Ryan.

(Incidentally, they kill the real telephone repairman before showing up at the store. The real repairman is played Timothy Webber, who played Mo in Terror Train. Meanwhile, Dave Mucci played Wendy’s thuggish boyfriend in Prom Night. So, if nothing else, this episode is a footnote of sorts in Canadian slasher history.)

The cursed lantern is probably the lamest antique that the show has featured up to this point. Using the lantern, undersea divers can find hidden treasure. But after finding treasure, the lantern then has to set someone on fire. (Basically, after hidden treasure is found, anyone who is touched by a beam of the lantern’s light will burst into flames.) The man problem is that the lantern is so big and bulky that Jonah just looks silly whenever he picks it up and aims the lantern’s fiery light at anyone. It is a seriously awkward and rather impractical weapon, one that appears to not only be impossible to aim but also next to impossible to run with as well. Add to that, it turns out that the beam of light can diverted by a mirror so it’s not only a lame item but an easily defeated one as well.

It’s a shame that this episode isn’t better. Micki may have the best hair and the best fashion sense of anyone on the show but it’s rare that she ever really gets an episode all to herself. But this episode saddles her down not only with forgettable villains and an impractical cursed item but it also forces her to deal with a bratty kid. The kid survives his night at store and, by all logic, he should be traumatized for life. Instead, he tells his mother about everything that happened and his mother laughs about what a great imagination he has. Seriously, though, shouldn’t Micki have some magic wand that she could use to erase Richie’s memory or something? It seems kind of dangerous to let a kid that bratty know that the store is full of magic items.

Anyway, this was a forgettable episode so I’m keeping the review short tonight! Fortunately, next week’s episode will be much better.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/31/23 — 1/6/24

Posted on January 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Happy 2024!

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will be dropping soon.

CHiPs (Freevee)

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

I watched way too much Dr. Phil this week. Most of them were episodes that I had already seen before and, as I sit here writing this up just 30 minutes before deadline, I’m struggling to remember much about any of them. I do remember that I rewatched the Truthfully Tricia episode. That was a wild one. As obnoxious as Tricia was, I do feel that Phil went out of his way to goad her into having a meltdown on his stage. I mean, he really wanted her to do the dramatic walk-off.

Fantasy Island (YouTube)

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

“I can forgive but I will not forget!”

Uhmm, it sounds like someone needs to look at the name of the show that they’re on. Pick one or the other!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

I’m so glad Ryan got a black jacket! I know that Chef Ramsay said that he saw a lot of improvement in Jason and maybe he did and it was just edited out. Just from watching the show, it’s easy to get the feeling they kept Jason around for as long as they did because they needed a good villain. But, at the same time, Chef Ramsay isn’t really one to throw around false praise, either. His brand is being critical and angry so, when he’s not, that usually means something.

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

Miami Vice (Tubi)

Monsters (Tubi)