Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 5.8 “Letters From Woo” and 5.9 “Senior Prom”

Posted on May 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing California Dreams, which ran on NBC from 1992 to 1996. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s prom time at PCHS! But first….

Episode 5.8 “Letters From Woo”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 25, 1996)

The band is supposed to practice but Sam says it will have to wait because she’s making a “video letter” for her uncle back in Hong Kong. She and the members of the Dreams discuss all of the wacky adventures that they’ve had and …. oh, it’s a clip show!

I’ll never forget that time I said, “Let’s move on….”

Episode 5.9 “Senior Prom”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 2nd, 1996)

Poor Mark!

Seriously, Mark Winkle was the nicest member of the California Dreams and yet he always seemed to be the one who ended up getting screwed over. Consider what happens in this episode:

PCHS has prom fever! Tony & Sam and Jake & Tiffani are running for Prom King and Queen but Mark is more concerned about getting a date with Erica. He’s had a crush on Erica since forever but he’s too shy to talk to her. When he finally does work up the courage to ask her, she says yes. Yay! But, on the day of the prom, she dumps him and tells him that she’s going to the prom with her ex-boyfriend, Dave.

Unfortunately, his friends can’t be there for him because they’re competing like crazy to be named King and Queen. Lorena and Sly don’t help matters by making a bet on who is going to win. Lorena supports Jake and Tiffani because she thinks that they have more class than Sam and Tony. Sly supports Sam and Tony because he thinks they have more of a populist appeal than Jake and Tiffani. Mark, poor dateless Mark, is trapped in the middle.

(Myself, I’m just wondering how a biker and a surfer would have less populist appeal than a wealthy exchange student. For that matter, since when have Jake and Tiffani had any class at all? One of the reasons why Lorena and Jake broke up was because Jake was way too crude for Lorena’s tastes.)

To make matters even worse, Sly has booked the Dreams to play a prom at a junior high on the same day as the high school prom. Everyone tells Sly that it’s a terrible idea but then again, everyone could also use the money. Unfortunately, the gig is a bust because one the amps blows up on stage. Then, while the Dreams are trying to get back for their own prom, their van breaks down in the middle of nowhere! As the Dreams try to flag down a ride, word comes over the radio that the PCHS Prom King and Queen are …. ERICA AND HER DATE, DAVE!

The leads to even more fighting until Mark yells at everyone for being selfish and makes them see the errors of their way. The Dreams, now reunited in love and friendship, have their own prom on the side of the road. Sly dances with Lorena. Tony dances with Sam. Jake dances with Tiff. And Mark …. well, he gets to play guitar. Mark may have saved the band but he still has to spend the prom alone. POOR MARK!

Seriously, there was a lot I liked about this episode. The cast’s chemistry was on fire. Everyone looked good in their prom outfits. But, at the end of the episode, you couldn’t help but feel that Mark really got screwed over.

Next week, Sam is cast on a show called Babewatch! I wonder what that’s based on….

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.15 “Dancing Isn’t Everything” and 5.1 “Stand By Your Man”

Posted on April 8, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, one season ends and another begins.

Episode 4.15 “Dancing Isn’t Everything”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on April 6th, 1996)

The fourth season of California Dreams comes to a close with one of its best episodes and a personal favorite of mine, Dancing Isn’t Everything. In fact, I already reviewed this episode a few years ago.

Rewatching it, I was pleased to discover that I still continue to enjoy the episode. Determined to prove the she’s more than just the band’s groupie, Lorena enters Sharky’s dance contest. Unfortunately, a series of events conspire against her and she’s forced to dance with the very unrhythmic Sly. Fortunately, Lorena learns about the importance of friendship and, even more importantly, this episode sets up the foundation for what will become Lorena and Sly’s romance during Season 5.

There are more than a few memorable moments from this episode, from Lorena coldly dismissing all of her potential dance partners to Sly breaking out his spastic dance moves whenever the judges aren’t looking. My favorite moment is Sly reading the subtitles and discovering what Lorena actually said to him. (If you watch carefully, you can see Kelly Packard breaking character and laughing in the background.) This was also the first episode to feature Tony and Sam performing Next Big Thing. “He’s so funky!”

This episode is California Dreams at its best and it brings the fourth season to worthy close.

Episode 5.1 “Stand By Your Man”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 7th, 1996)

The fifth and final season of California Dreams was the best of the show’s history. It not only gave the show a proper send-off but it also gave all of the members of the cast to show how much they had grown as actors since the show began. By the end of the fifth and final season of the show, the cast had proven themselves to be the type of tight and talented ensemble that could wring laughs and tears from even the most predictable of situations.

You wouldn’t necessarily know that from watching the first episode of the fifth season, though. In this episode, Jake needs money to fix his motorcycle and takes a job that requires him to dress up like a pirate for the local seafood restaurant. When he tires of his friends laughing at his costume, Jake gets another job at a local garage. The pay is good and Jake does like working on cars and motorcycles. However, his boss is an attractive woman named Mel. (I have a sister named Melissa who we call Mel. Hi, Mely!) Tiffani gets jealous and, for some reason, she decides that it would be a good idea for her, Sam, and Lorena to put on fake beards and pretend to be old bikers so they can hang out around the garage. (*Sigh* Wacky disguises were a staple on these shows and they never cease to be annoying.) This leads to them knocking over a motorcycle and Jake getting fired. Jake is furious with Tiffany, not because he lost his job but because she didn’t trust him. Tiffani apologizes and Jake forgives her. He then gets his old pirate job back. Arrrrgh!

Meanwhile, Sly and Tony try to catch Mark doing something stupid so they can win a video contest. However, it turns out that Mark is actually filming them for the same contest. Ha ha.

You may be under the impression that this episode was not a favorite of mine and you’re right. It’s not. It’s just too silly and cartoonish, particularly when compared to some of the other season 5 episodes. This is the first episode of the final season and it’s hard not to feel that there should have been a bit more to it than just wacky disguises and a pirate joke.

Oh well! Things will get better next week, as we move further into the final season of California Dreams.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.13 “We’ll Always Have Aspen” and 4.14 “Lorena’s Place”

Posted on April 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The California Dreams are in Aspen! Wait …. what?

Episode 4.13 “We’ll Always Have Aspen”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on January 6th, 1996)

This episode opens with the California Dreams in Aspen, Colorado, hanging out at the Costa Ski Lodge. Why are they there? They’re there because this episode was originally meant to air during season 3, after the episode where the Dreams went to the ski lodge and convinced Lorena’s father not to kick that old crank out of his isolated cabin. Why did NBC hold off on showing this episode for so long? I’m not sure but it certainly does lead to some odd continuity errors. For instance, Tony announces that he’s “hunting ski bunnies.” Obviously, this was meant to air before Tony and Sam became a couple. Lorena and Jake are also dating in this episode.

This episode is also one of the rare ones to focus on Mark. Mark is shocked to discover that his ex-girlfriend, Jenny (Catherine Nagan), is staying at the lodge. As he explains it, he and Jenny were once totally in love but then Jenny left him so that she could train to be on the U.S. Olympic skiing team. At first, Mark refuses to speak to Jenny but then Jenny explains that leaving him was the biggest mistake of her life and that she is tired of skiing. Mark and Jenny spend the day together and Mark realizes that Jenny actually does love skiing too much to give it up. So, Mark gets dumped again but this time, he was the one who suggested that Jenny should break up with him so I guess he feels better about the only member of the Dream to never have a romantic partner for longer than one episode.

In the B-plot, Lorena’s father leaves Lorena in charge while he goes off to do …. well, I’m not sure why he left. But him leaving means that Lorena is in charge of the big winter festival. Why would her father leave Lorena, who is a teenager, in charge of the Lodge’s biggest event? I’m starting to suspect that he is just not a very good businessman. Anyway, all of this leads to Jake having to wear a silly costume and Sly taking part in a yodeling contest. That was kind of funny.

This wasn’t a bad episode and it was nice to see Lorena and Jake back together but …. eh. The California Dreams belong the beach. They’re surfers not skiers.

Episode 4.14 “Lorena’s Place”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on March 30th, 1996)

The first thing that I noticed about the 14th episode of the fourth season of California Dreams is that it aired over two months after the 13th episode, which itself was an episode that had been filmed for the 3rd season. I don’t know what exactly was going on behind the scenes at NBC but it appears that the network decided to end season 4 by burning off a few old episodes that, for whatever reason, didn’t air when they were originally supposed to.

(Of course, Saved By The Bell did the same thing. The episode where Screech is made hall monitor was filmed for the first season but, oddly, didn’t air until after the show’s Graduation episode.)

This episode finds the Dreams back in California. Eager to date a pretentious douchebag named Alan, Lorena turns her loft into a coffeehouse and hosts a poetry reading. Lorena also reads Alan a poem that her father wrote for her mother but which Lorena claims that she wrote for Alan. Alan is so impressed that he memorizes the poem. Then, after Lorena tells him the truth, he destroys the poem.

Oh no!

Not to worry. The Dreams hold another coffeehouse reading. Alan, for some reason, comes to that one as well and recites the poem. Sam records his words and recreate the poem for Lorena’s parents. So, not only is the poem saved but Lorena gets a new boyfriend! But Alan kind of sucks so hopefully, he’ll never show up again.

This episode was very 90s but it was a Lorena episode and, since Lorena is the character to whom I most relate, I enjoyed it.

Next week: Season 4 comes to an end!

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.9 “Operation Tony” and 4.10 “Community Service”

Posted on March 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, California Dreams is Saved By The Bell!

Episode 4.9 “Operation Tony”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 18th, 1995)

Tony needs to have shoulder surgery and he’s so worried about dying that he not only practices laying very still but he also requires Sam to practice mourning. The night before the operation, he has a dream where he sees his own funeral and, upon waking up, he tries to sneak out of the hospital and …. wait a minute. This seems familiar. The exact same thing happened to Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell!

Yes, this episode is pretty much a remake of Operation Zach. The California Dreams version works a bit better than the SBTB version because Tony is a more sympathetic figure than Zach Morris and, unlike Zach, Tony didn’t have the power to stop time whenever he felt like it so Tony has no way to magically put off the operation. Plus, this episode has a B-plot where Lorena volunteers as a candy striper in an attempt to catch the attention of a handsome doctor. Unfortunately, the doctor explains that he doesn’t date people with whom he works. (I would hope that he also doesn’t date teenagers.) It was a predictable storyline but I still always like episodes that focus, even if just partially, on Lorena because Lorena is who I was always relate to whenever I watch this show.

Anyway, this was a good episode, even it was a familiar one. Let’s move on.

Episode 4.10 “Community Service”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 25th, 1995)

In this episode, the members of the California Dreams do community service!

Now, I know that I always complain whenever this happens on City Guys but that’s because City Guys usually features Ms. Noble ordering her students to do stuff during their free time. On California Dreams, everyone actually volunteered of their own free will. It is true that Tiffani guilted them into volunteering but still, there’s a big difference between Tiffani looking sad and Ms. Noble telling all of her students what they’re going to give up their weekend just because she says so.

Sam volunteers for the blood drive. Jake volunteers for Meals on Wheels and eats all the food himself. (In 1995, this was played for laughs. You can only imagine how it would be portrayed today.) Mark helps to clean the beach and ends up smelling like a toxic waste dump. Lorena gives some things to the Goodwill. And Tiffani and Sly end up working at the Teen Help Line. Tiffani tries to sincerely help people while Sly orders pizza and hits on all the female counselors.

Uh-oh! The school is cutting its budget and the Teen Line is going to be closed down! Sly comes up with an idea! Maybe the Dreams can play a benefit concert. I mean, it worked on Saved By The Bell …. TWICE! Sly organizes the concert and basks in everyone’s attention, even though Tiffani is upset that Sly is doing the right thing for the wrong reason. (Calm down, Tiffani.) Fortunately, during the concert, a teen calls in and says he wants to run away from home. Because Sly is the only person in the office, he’s forced to help the caller and he discovers that joy of doing the right thing for the right reasons! Yay! Of course, I imagine this lesson will be forgotten by the next episode. We’ll find out next week!

As a general rule, the best episodes of California Dreams are the ones in which Sly is let loose to be his sleazy but ultimately good-hearted self. Though the story was familiar, Michael Cade did a good job playing the two sides of Sly. Plus, the Dreams performed that “To the End” song, which has a really rocking guitar solo.

Next week, Tiffani tries to heal the bay! Hopefully, she’ll have better luck at it than Mark did during this episode.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.7 “Secret Admirer” and 4.8 “Old”

Posted on March 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Sly breaks hearts and hurts feelings! And maybe he learns a lesson.

Episode 4.7 “Secret Admirer”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 4th, 1995)

This episode opens in Pacific Coast High’s state-of-the-art computer lab!

After accidentally deleting a love poem that Mark has spent weeks working on, Sly spots a student named Lynn awkwardly asking people to come to her sweet sixteen party. Realizing that Lynn comes from a wealthy family, Sly decides that the Dreams have to play that party! The only problem is that Sly has known Lynn since kindergarten and he’s spent that entire time making fun of her weight. Lynn cannot stand Sly.

Can you feel the hatred?

Sly, having learned nothing from being put on trial last week, steals one of Mark’s love poems and slips it into Lynn’s locker. “Wow, a secret admirer,” Lynn says. Then Sly pops up and starts trying to flirt with her. At first, Lynn refuses to believe that Sly is being serious but, slowly, he wins her over. And what happens here is kind of interesting. As Sly eventually figures out, it’s not that Lynn believes him as much as she wants to believe him because she has absolutely no self-esteem. Even after Lynn hires the Dreams and pays them $2,000, Sly still feels guilty. He feels so guilty that he gives up the money.

This was not the first Peter Engel-produced show to figure its lead character going out with a someone who weighed a bit more than Tiffani-Amber Thiessen. Saved By The Bell actually used that plot a few times. On Saved By The Bell, Zack got sold in a date auction to a girl who wasn’t his type and the audience screamed in shock. But this episode of California Dreams is different from Saved By The Bell in that it is more on the side of the girl than on the guy pretending to like her. Sly does a terrible thing and, when he realizes it, Michael Cade does such a good job of playing Sly’s guilt that the viewer really does feel like Sly is probably never going to forgive himself.

That’s a good thing. That said, this still isn’t a particularly strong episode. The actress playing Lynn delivers all of her lines in the same flat manner and there’s a rather annoying B-plot about everyone thinking that Mark’s love poem was written for them. (That’s another plot that was used and reused on Saved By The Bell.) Sly learned a lesson about making fun of people but I doubt it will last….

Episode 4.8 “Old”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 11th, 1995)

Sly makes fun of a bunch old people and then has a dream where he’s old and all the members of the band make fun of him! He then wakes up and visits an old man in the hospital. So, basically, Sly learned the same lesson that he should have learned in the last episode and in the episode before that. Some people just don’t ever learn!

That said, by the time this episode aired, Michael Cade had really grown as an actor and he’s convincing as both an old man and an obnoxious teenager.

Next week, in another story borrowed from Saved By The Bell, Tony gets an operation! The fun never ends when you’re surrounded by surf dudes with attitude and feeling mellow.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.5 “Fallen Idol” and 4.6 “Defending Sly’s Life”

Posted on March 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Jake learns an important lesson about how ruthless and heartless the music business actually is. Meanwhile, Sly is forced to defend a lifetime of bad ethical choices.

Episode 4.5 “Fallen Idol”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 14th, 1995)

Never meet your idols!

Jake learns that lesson the hard way when his hero, faded rock star Zane Walker (Julian Stone), wanders into Sharky’s. Jake is stunned to see Zane. Jake is overjoyed when Zane agrees to listen to the Dreams play. And Jake is stunned when Zane steals Jake’s latest song and releases his own version of it. The song becomes a hit in record time. (Apparently, it only took about a week for Zane to steal the song, record it, and then release it.) Jake and the Dreams crash Zane’s press conference, with Jake still convinced that Zane is going to give Jake credit for writing the song. Instead, Zane smirks and takes all the credit for himself. Tiffani and Sly suggest suing Zane. Jake replies that it’s not about the song. He can write a hundred good songs. But he’ll never get another idol….

Wow, what a depressing episode! I mean, Jay Anthony Franke really poured his heart into his performance and it’s good that the show taught kids about the importance of copyright laws but still…. let’s move on to something happier.

Episode 4.6 “Defending Sly’s Life”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 21st, 1995)

The episode opens in a court room. All of the Dreams are in costume. Sam is a court reporter. Jake is a judge. Tiffani and Tony are lawyers. Poor Mark and Lorena are forced to wear unflattering bailiff’s uniforms. Meanwhile, Sly is wearing an orange jumpsuit because apparently, he’s on trial for being the most greedy, selfish guy on Earth. Tony is his lawyer. Tiffani is the prosecutor.

Is this a dream?

No, it’s a clip show. Each member of the Dreams testifies about how Sly has been both a bad and a good friend. Why are they in court? It’s never really explained and I actually appreciated that. It was a nice break from the usual “Remember that time that we played Sharky’s?” format of most clip shows. Interestingly enough, we even get clips from the first two seasons despite the fact that there’s no way Sam, Lorena, and Mark could have remembered any of that stuff. But at least the show is acknowledging that Matt Garrison and his sister used to be members of the Dreams.

(If I may briefly go off-topic, I always found it weird that, after Matt left, the Dreams went on without him. I mean, Matt started the band. He named the band! Was he okay with the Dreams continuing to perform his songs and under the name he came up with even after he left? Did Jake and the other band members even ask? After he moved, they could have at least come up with a new name for themselves. I would have suggested something like Jake Sommers and Funtime Quartet.)

Anyway, after all the Dreams testify about all of the sneaky things that he’s done, Sly testifies about the time that he helped Tiffani get off the steroids that he had previously given her. Apparently, that’s enough to convince Judge Jake to rule that Sly is not the most selfish person on Earth and Sly is allowed to go free. What would have happened if Sly had been found guilty? Who knows? I just like the fact that this totally weird episode came out of nowhere and will probably never be mentioned again. This is something that you won’t ever see on City Guys or One World!

Next week, the recently acquitted Sly is rude to multiple people, therefore proving that Jake shouldn’t have been the judge.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.3 “Principal Tiffani” and 4.4 “The Dateless Game”

Posted on February 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Surf dudes with attitudes….

Episode 4.3 “Principal Tiffani”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 30th, 1995)

Earl Boen returns as Principal Blumford! The last two times that Blumford appeared, he was given dialogue that deliberately harkened back to his days of appearing in the first two Terminator films. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen here but Principal Tiffani is still an important Blumford episode because this is the episode where it becomes clear that Tiffani and Blumford are having a secret affair.

Seriously, how else do you explain Blumford’s decision to appoint Tiffani to the role of “student principal?” In fact, I’m not even sure that there is such a thing as the student principal program, despite the fact that both Saved By The Bell and California Dreams did episodes about it. It just doesn’t make any sense. Why would a student be put in charge of the school for a week? In this episode, Blumford not only names Tiffani as student principal but he also expects her to run the school during mid-terms week. I mean, shouldn’t Tiffani be studying for her mid-terms? And why make Tiffani principal as opposed to someone who actually wants the job?

I think we all know the answer.

At first, Tiffani struggles with her new position. No one will listen to her. Then her other boyfriend, Jake, gives her a lesson in how to yell at people. Tiffani takes his lessons to heart and goes mad with power, handing out detentions and forcing troublemakers to stand in the corner of her office in time-out. Eventually, the entire school rebels and, on cut day, Tiffani discovers that the halls are completely deserted.

The entire school goes to Sharky’s, of course. The Dreams, minus Tiffani, perform. I imagine there’s nothing better than getting hired for a sweet cut day gig. Eventually, Tiffani and Blumford show up at Sharky’s but Tiffani has learned to not be such a martinet so she lies and says that students had her permission to go to Sharky’s. She then orders all of them to start studying, which they do.

Blumford pretends to fooled by Tiffani but, obviously, he knows what’s really going on. Technically, Blumford could have gotten in trouble for giving an important role like student principal to someone who was obviously unqualified for the job but the hearts wants what the heart wants.

This was a very romantic episode.

Episode 4.4 “The Dateless Game”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 7th, 1995)

Speaking of romance, it’s time for Jake and Tiffani’s first anniversary! They’ve only been dating for 2 episodes but whatever. Everyone acts like they’ve been together forever. (Actually, Lorena specifically says that Tiffani and Jake have been a thing for 3 months.)

However, before Jake can celebrate their anniversary, he decides help Sly and Mark out with their plan to take part in a charity dating game. When the third bachelor fails to show up for the event, Jake agrees to take the stage with Sly and Mark. Of course, despite his best efforts to pretend to be a shallow burn-out, Jake wins and it turns out his date is scheduled for the night of his anniversary! Instead of just coming clean to Tiffani, Jake attempts to go on both dates at the same time. That was a pretty dumb idea on Jake’s part and it helps to explain why Tiffani has been cheating with Blumford.

Needless to say, Jake’s dumbass plan explodes in his face. Fortunately, the Dreams know how to fix the situation, They hold a dating game of their own so that Jake and Tiffani can see that they belong together. Tony is the host and William James Jones totally throws himself into the performance. For some reason, the fake dating game is held at Sharky’s. As far as I could tell, no one was ordering food during the dating game. If Sharky’s goes out of business, blame it on the Dreams and their constant drama.

These two episodes felt very much like they belonged more on Saved By The Bell than California Dreams but no matter! This cast long ago proved that they had the chemistry necessary to transcend even mundane material and that’s certainly what happens here. Jake and Tiffani forgive each other and the audiences says, “Awwww!’ but somewhere, Principal Blumford’s heart is breaking.

Retro Television Reviews: California Dreams 4.1 “Two Too Much” and 4.2 “My Valentine”

Posted on February 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to season 4!

Episode 4.1 “Two Too Much”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on September 9th, 1995)

I have to admit that I’ve now reached the point where I automatically smile as soon as I hear the opening of the California Dreams theme song. Over the past few months, I’ve come to appreciate California Dreams with its (mostly) good cast, its occasionally clever writing, and even its inoffensive music. Of course, compared to City Guys and One World, anything is going to look good but California Dreams is a surprisingly entertaining show. It has its own enjoyably odd but mellow vibe.

The fourth season gets off to a good start with a ballet class! Yay! Of course, Sam and Lorena are in the class. But so are Mark and Sly, largely because they both think it’ll be a good place to pick up girls. And so is Tony, due to Sam ordering him to take the class. Jake, however, thinks that ballet is stupid and doesn’t understand why Lorena doesn’t want to spend all of her time watching him ride his motorcycle …. uh-oh, I think I see where this is going and I’m not happy about it because I’m one of the few people who thinks that Jake and Lorena were a good couple.

After his fight with Lorena, Jake finds Tiffani at Sharky’s and asks her for advice. However, Tiffani is on a date with Keith Dell, “the teen radio shrink.” Keith, who is a hilariously mellow and understanding character, tells Jake that a successful relationship is all about compromise. Keith then suggests that Jake and Tiffani are still in love. “Wooooo!” the audience replies.

Determined to try to make it work with Lorena, Jake tries to share her interests. He takes her shopping for shoes. Then he shows up for ballet class, having exchanged his leather jacket for a pair of tights and ready to dance. After Lorena accuses Jake of embarrassing her, Jake has a black-and-white fantasy about being married to Lorena. Of course, it’s called I Love Lorena. Jake becomes Desi Arnaz. Lorena becomes Lucille Ball. Fred and Ethel are embodied by Sam and Tony. Even in the fantasy, though, Jake keeps accidentally saying that he loves Tiffani. It’s actually pretty funny, largely because of the chemistry of the cast.

I’m sure everyone reading this can guess what’s going to happen. Jake and Lorena amicably break up. Jake and Tiffani get back together. Tony becomes dance-crazed and puts together a wonderfully pretentious performance at Sharky’s. As always, everything happens at Sharky’s.

Despite the fact that my favorite couple broke up, this was a good start for the fourth season. The cast’s chemistry was as strong as ever, Jake and Lorena’s breakup was handled intelligently, and William James Jones had some funny moments as he went mad for ballet. And who knows? I liked Jake and Lorena but Jake and Tiffani have chemistry as well. Maybe this breakup was all for the best….

Episode 4.2 “My Valentine”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 16th, 1995)

It’s Valentine’s Day! Looking to make his first Valentine’s Day with Samantha a special one, Tony writes a love song and has Jake sing it. After Jake finishes the song, Sly says that it was the perfect gift. Tiffani agrees that it was very romantic. “No,” Sly says, “it was free.”

Oh, Sly …. never change!

Tony, however, is worried that Sam will be returning to Hong Kong as soon as they graduate from high school. Tony’s solution is to ask her to marry him. Sam says, “Yes!” The audience goes crazy but the Dreams have their doubts. Lorena and Jake think Tony and Sam are too young to get married. Sly agrees but his main concern is whether or not Tony and Sam will hire the Dreams to play at their wedding reception. I’m not sure how that would work, considering that Tony and Sam are in the Dreams.

Tony and Sam haven’t been engaged for more than a day before they have their first fight. Sam discovers that Tony hasn’t told his parents that they are engaged. “If you can’t yell your parents,” she says, “your obviously too immature to get married!”

“I’m not immature,” Tony replies, “I just didn’t want them to ground me.”

Hey, it make me laugh. I laughed even harder when Sam revealed that she hadn’t told her parents either.

Anyway, Tony and Sam break up but, luckily, they get back together a few hours later at the big Valentine’s Day dance, agreeing to date and putting off marriage for now. I was glad about that. Tony and Sam are a cute couple and no one should break up on the most romantic day of the year! While Tony and Sam are getting back together, Jake and Tiffani are having an O. Henry moment as they realize that they’ve both sold their most prized possessions to get the other a present. It’s a sweet moment for them. Meanwhile, Lorena gets to wear a really cute red dress so everyone’s a winner this Valentine’s Day!

I own the same dress!

Next week: Tiffani is principal for a day! I’m sure this won’t lead to any drama at all….

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 3.17 “Mary Beth’s Parents” and 3.18 “The Laugh Riot”

Posted on February 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Indiana’s greatest basketball team heads for the ski slopes!

Episode 3.17 “Mary Beth’s Parents”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on November 8th, 1997)

I did a double-take when this episode opened with shots of a snowy ski lodge. It wasn’t so much that this episode was taking place outside of Indiana (as we did just go through the whole California thing) as much as I thought the show had already done a ski lodge episode, one in which a man dressed as a yeti was trying to keep Mary Beth’s father from developing the land. However, once the episode began, I realized I was thinking of the episode of California Dreams where everyone is invited to Lorena’s father’s ski lodge.

(That said, I’m pretty sure it’s the same set that was used in not only California Dreams but also Saved By The Bell: The New Class.)

Instead, in this episode, Mary Beth’s parents have invited the entire basketball team out to a ski lodge to help celebrate Mary Beth’s birthday. That includes Coach Fuller, who is super excited about going ice fishing and catching a legendary bass. Again, that’s not surprising. In the world of Peter Engel-produced sitcoms, parents were always inviting and paying for their children’s friends to come vacation with them. But you do have to wonder why only the basketball team has been invited. Doesn’t Mary Beth have other friends that would have wanted to come? Obviously, Mary Beth is close to Julie and Kristy and she and Vince have an unlikely flirtation going on. But why invite Teddy and Michael, two people with whom she’s had next to nothing to do with over the course of the series? And why invite Coach Fuller? Fuller’s an adult. Does he not have a life outside of his job? Does no one find the idea of a man in his 40s going on vacation with a bunch of high school students to be a little bit creepy?

That said, even though he shouldn’t be there, Fuller is super-excited about ice fishing and the team is super-excited about watching him ice fish, which really doesn’t seem like something to get that excited about. However, there’s more going on here than just Fuller trying to relive his fishing glory days. Instead of going ice fishing, Vince stays back at the lodge and overhears Mary Beth’s parents talking about getting a divorce! Vince can’t bring himself to tell Mary Beth about what he’s heard and, if we’re going to be perfectly honest, it’s not really his place to tell her because he’s not family. However, when the rest of the team returns from Fuller’s fishing cabin, Vince tells them and then Mary Beth walks in right when Teddy is making the same point that I just made. “If anyone is going to tell Mary Beth about her parents getting divorced, it should be Mary Beth’s parents!” Teddy says while a stunned Mary Beth stands behind him.

Now, let’s give the show some credit. At first, Mary Beth is in denial about her parent’s getting divorced and then she moves into the anger phase and then the bargaining stage. And, for me, it brought back a lot of memories of going through my own parent’s divorce and the show, at first, handled things with a lot more sensitivity than you would expect from a Peter Engel-produced sitcom. But then, because this is a Peter Engel show, things get cartoonish as Mary Beth tries to save her parent’s marriage by recreating their honeymoon in Mexico, which means that Mary Beth speaks in an exaggerated Mexican accent while Vince puts on a sombrero and a fake mustache. It doesn’t work but, fortunately, Mary Beth moves from anger to acceptance in record time.

Again, let’s give some credit where credit is due. I’ve been pretty critical of the Vince/Mary Beth pairing but Megan Parlen and Michael Sullivan both have a lot of chemistry in this episode and Sullivan, in particular, is better here than he’s been in any of the previous episodes. And even the ice fishing storyline pays off as the normally stiff Reggie Theus really gets into trash-talking a legendary giant bass. Fuller catches the bass (which is obviously a fake, rubber fish) but then he tosses it back in the lake. It would be a touching moment if the bass actually looked like real, living fish as opposed to a rubber toy.

Flaws and all, this was ultimately a pretty good episode. Will the streak continue with our second ski lodge episode?

Episode 3.18 “The Laugh Riot”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 8th, 1997)

We’re still at the ski lodge! Mary Beth’s parents are nowhere to be seen but we know that they’re still getting divorced because Vince gives Mary Beth an expensive ring to help her get over it. Awwwwwww! Unfortunately, Mary Beth loses the ring, which leads to her going through a lot of trouble to keep Danny from finding out. But then she finds it in her pocket and everything’s okay. Yay! This whole storyline made me anxious. I hate plots that could easily be resolved by one person just telling the truth about what happened.

Meanwhile, the Lodge is holding auditions for a new comedian to perform at their comedy club and Danny decides to audition, despite the fact that he’s only there on vacation and will presumably be going back to Indiana in a day or two. I’m not sure that Danny has really thought this through. When Danny gets get on stage, he suffers from stage fright and freezes. Fortunately, Teddy joins him on stage and they become a comedy duo. They’re both hired! But Teddy eventually realizes that stand-up comedy is Danny’s dream and he allows Danny to perform the show alone. It’s kind of pointless, as none of the jokes are particularly funny and it’s kind of a stretch to imagine a club full of wealthy adults going crazy over Danny joking about reading his girlfriend’s diary.

This episode features an extended sequence in which Danny imagines himself as being Jerry Seinfeld. CRINGE!

Next week, the ski lodge adventure continues!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 3.9 “Not a D’Amata” and 3.10 “Kristy’s Other Mother”

Posted on January 9, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Tornadoes go to California! But first, we have to sit through some crap about Vince and his brother….

Episode 3.9 “Not a D’Amata”

(Directed by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on October 11th, 1997)

It turns out that Vince has a bother named Nick (played by Michael Sullivan’s real-life brother, Billy). Where has Nick been over the past season and a half? He has been in Paris, at music school. When he returns from France, Vince is shocked to discover that Nick has gone from being just like Vince to being someone who wears a beret, speaks fluent French, and writes poetry! Vince is so upset that Nick has switched from being one stereotype to another, he rejects his brother. Fortunately, Michael points out that not everyone is a three-point shooter and not everyone is a …. well, he uses a lot of basketball terms. The important thing is that Vince accepts the new Nick.

(If this episode were made today, it would be about Nick coming out and Vince struggling to accept it. But, since this episode is from 1997, it’s instead about Vince freaking out over Nick wearing a beret.)

While this is going on, Mary Beth and Kristy throw a fund raiser for the library. Apparently, they’re going to raise money by having Coach Fuller throw balls through a basket. Unfortunately, Fuller keeps missing his shots. It looks the library is going to be closed! Fortunately, a real basketball player named Gary Payton shows up and goads Fuller into regaining his confidence. Not being a fan of the game, this whole storyline was weird to me. I just know the audience went crazy whenever anyone threw a basketball.

Episode 3.10 “Kristy’s Other Mother”

(Directed by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 11th, 1997)

This episode opens with a shot of the Beverly Hills Hotel….

Wait a minute? Isn’t this show set in Indiana?

Well, it turns out that the Tornadoes have been invited to compete in a tournament in Los Angeles and, for some reason, they’re saying at a luxury hotel in Beverly Hills. (Remember when Mary Beth spent a thousand dollars on sports bags and was told that she had spent all the money the team had in its annual budget? I imagine flying to California and getting rooms for the entire team at a luxury hotel costs a bit more than a thousand dollars.) Strangely, Kristy accompanies the team to Los Angeles but none of the other cheerleaders come with her. If you’re already wasting all that money on a hotel in Beverly Hills, why not bring the entire school? Seriously, if you’re going to get fired for fiscal incompetence, you might as well go all out.

(How much school are the Tornadoes skipping to go to this tournament?)

It turns out that Kristy has a reason beyond cheerleading to go to California. She wants to meet her birth mother, who turns to be a fabulously wealthy actress who is starring in a movie with Harrison Ford. (No, Harrison Ford does not make an appearance.) Kristy’s mom is like, “Move to California!” but Kristy ultimately decides that she prefers Indiana. Considering what lay head for California, Kristy made the right decision. That said, Kristy’s decision still doesn’t make much sense. What teenager is going to choose small town Indiana over a chance to live with a movie star in Beverly Hills?

Meanwhile, Vince, Danny, and Michael appear on a dating game show that’s being filmed at the hotel. Vince wins a date with a girl other than Mary Beth. Needless to say, Mary Beth is not amused. Wisely, Vince gives her a lot of presents.

This was a pretty silly and fairly mawkish episode but at least the hotel looked nice. This episode was directed by Don Barnhart, who directed several episodes of Saved By The Bell and California Dreams. It also ends with the Tornadoes still in California so I’m guessing this L.A. tournament thing is going to last for a few more episodes. We’ll find out if I’m right next week!