Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning Miss Bliss 1.3 “Wall Street”

Posted on August 2, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Miss Bliss makes the mistake of trusting her students. Zach Morris also learns a lesson about the Stock Market. Mr. Belding learns better than to try to be nice to Miss Bliss. It’s quite an episode!

Episode 1.3 “Wall Street”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on December 14th, 1988)

Mr. Belding is concerned. Miss Bliss is teaching her class a lesson about Wall Street. Each of her students has donated $2 and the money has been used to buy a safe and dependable stock. Belding doesn’t think that it’s good for the students to invest real money but, as usual, Miss Bliss just smirks away his worries.

However, Zach needs $300 to pay for a video camera that he damaged. With the help of his friend Mickey (Max Battimo), Zach breaks into the classroom, gets on the computer, and invests the class’s money in potatoes. He buys the stock on margin. So, of course, when the stock tanks, Miss Bliss ends up owing $1,500.

“You just cost me my new car!” Miss Bliss angrily exclaims.

What car was Miss Bliss going to buy for $1,500? It sounds like maybe they did Miss Bliss a favor, to be honest.

Miss Bliss gets angry and storms out of her classroom. Mr. Belding comforts her and tells her that she’s a good teacher. He jokes that something even worse will probably happen in the future. Miss Bliss snaps that he should have just said, “I told you so.”

This exchange between Mr. Belding and Miss Bliss gets right to the heart of why I can’t stand Miss Bliss. Mr. Belding is trying to help. He compliments her. He tells her that this sort of thing happen to every teacher. He attempts to lighten the mood with a joke. And Miss Bliss snaps at him. Miss Bliss is someone who has no problem dismissing everyone else’s problems but, once something goes wrong for her, the entire world is supposed to stop. Mr. Belding didn’t say “I told you so,” because Mr. Belding isn’t a condescending know-it-all, unlike a certain teacher who no longer afford a new car.

I liked this episode. The overwhelming smugness of Miss Bliss meets the overwhelming self-absorption of Zach Morris. The end result is Miss Bliss doesn’t get a car but she does get a bag of potatoes. Miss Bliss even forgives her students for stealing from her. To be honest, Zach is in the 8th Grade and most 8th Graders know better. Add to that, Zach sneaks into the school to buy those potatoes. Again, this is not typical 8th Grade behavior. It might be time to get this kid some professional help because God knows what he’s going to be like when he reaches high school….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.2 “Love Letters”

Posted on July 26, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. well, it’s all really stupid.

Episode 1.2 “Love Letters”

(Dir by Burt Brinkerhoff, originally aired on December 7th, 1988)

Miss Bliss thinks that Mr. Belding has sent her a love letter! Mr. Belding thinks Miss Bliss had sent him a love letter! Much awkwardness follows. Of course, the truth is that they both have a love letter that Zach wrote to Lisa (the character, not me) on behalf of Screech. Screech, meanwhile, writes Zach’s term paper on the War of 1812, which is probably the easiest war to write a paper on. I mean, if Zach can’t handle the War of 1812 on his own, he really is doomed.

This was a dumb episode, one that was later remade as an episode of Saved By The Bell during the infamous Tori season. The remake even went as far as to have Zach write a love note to Lisa for Screech and Mr. Belding and another teacher thinking that the note was written for them. Somehow, no one stopped and said, “Hey, hasn’t this happened before?” The remake was just as dumb as the original.

I will say this. Dustin Diamond is actually …. dare I say it? …. likable in this episode. Watching this episode, I could actually understand why Diamond was at the center of so many early episodes of Saved By The Bell because it appears that, before he started doing the squeaky, cartoonish voice thing and got totally typecast as the most annoying person on the planet, Dustin Diamond actually was a good child actor. There’s a sincere sweetness to his crush on Lisa in this episode. It’s quite a contrast to the deranged stalker that he would later become.

I should also note, for Saved By The Bell historians, this episode is the first to establish that Screech has a crush on Lisa and that Lisa, who is kind of mean in this episode, wishes that Screech would get lost. At the start of the episode, Lisa stuffs Screech in a locker. That seems a bit extreme to me. It’s always struck me as strange how the people on these shows were always getting stuffed into lockers. I went to a lot of different schools when I was growing up and I never once saw that happen to anyone. And yet, on Saved By The Bell and a host of other Peter Engel-produced sitcoms, it’s like a daily occurrence. I would think that it can’t be healthy to be stuffed in a locker. I can’t imagine the air quality is very good inside one of those metal caskets.

This episode also presents Screech and Zach as not being the childhood friends that Saved By The Bell later presented them as being. (Indeed, Screech mentions that no one will believe that he and Zach are actually friends.) Then again, this episode also takes place in Indiana instead of California so I guess it’s best not to worry too much about continuity.

On the How Condescending Is Miss Bliss scale, this episode score a solid 7 out of 10. She wasn’t anywhere near as a condescending as she would be in some of her later episodes but her comment when Mr. Belding asks her for the identity of the person who actually wrote the letter — “Why should I tell you? You just dumped me.” — pushes the score up to a 7.

Next week, Miss Bliss loses a lot of money when she stupidly allows the kids to invest it. What a terrible teacher. We’ll see what happens!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.1 “Summer Love”

Posted on July 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

With Check It Out! finished, it’s time to review a new show. Continuing this feature’s tradition of highlighting the work of executive producer Peter Engel, it’s time for Good Morning, Miss Bliss, the show that would eventually become Saved By The Bell!

Episode 1.1 “Summer Love”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on November 30th, 1988)

It’s the first day of school at JFK Junior High, located in beautiful Indianapolis, Indiana.

Miss Carrie Bliss (Hayley Mills), our narrator, is looking forward to a new year as a history teacher. The school’s principal, Richard Belding (a surprisingly thin Dennis Haskins) is worried about a new year of out-of-control students and angry parents. Miss Bliss’s best friend, Ms. Tina Palladino (Joan Ryan), worries that Mr. Belding has given her a bad schedule because of a disappointing school play she directed the previous year.

Miss Bliss has a date, the first one since her husband died. Brian (Barry Jenner) is handsome and successful but romance will have to wait as Miss Bliss deals with the problems of her homeroom students. Over the summer, pathological liar Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) told a girl named Karen (Carla Gugino, in one of her first roles) that he would soon be starting the 9th grade. Of course, Zack is actually starting the 8th Grade but he figured that he would never see Karen again so why not…. oh my God, this kid is a terrible human being! Anyway, Karen transfers to JFK and Zack has to pretend to be in the 9th Grade. He does this despite the fact that all of his friends, Mickey (Max Battimo), Nikki (Heather Hopper), Lisa (Lark Voorhees), and the nerdy Screech (Dustin Diamond), are in the 8th Grade and Zack’s homeroom is in an 8th grade classroom.

Got all that?

Needless to say, this episode would not be remembered today if not for the fact that it was the first appearance of Mr. Belding, Zack Morris, Lisa Turtle, and Screech Powers. These characters were, of course, later retconned to be Californians when Saved By The Bell started. Miss Bliss did not make the transition to California and for that, we should all be happy. Even in this first episode, Miss Bliss comes across as being a self-righteous know-it-all who obviously feels that she’s too good for a junior high in Indiana. In her first scene, she brags about getting a good class schedule, dismisses Tina’s concerns about her own class schedule, and then smirks as Mr. Belding talks about his anxiety. This would pretty much be Miss Bliss’s signature style for the rest of the short life of Good Morning, Miss Bliss.

How do our regulars do in their first appearance as the characters that would make them famous? Dennis Haskins gives a semi-realistic performance as Belding, playing him as being a harried pencil-pusher as opposed to the cartoonish figure he would become later on. Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Lark Voorhies do well-enough as Zack and Lisa, though both of their characters are far more simpler here than they would become later. Dustin Diamond was only 11 year old when he was cast as Screech and he looked and comes across as being several years younger. (I recently saw an interview with Mark-Paul Gosselaar where he explained that the main reason why Diamond struggled to fit in with the rest of the cast was because he was considerably younger than everyone else on the show. I would say that he was probably too young. Imagine looking back on your life as an actor and realizing that you were permanently typecast by a role you first played when you were 11.)

Anyway, this was a forgettable but historically important episode. Just imagine if it had never aired.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.14 “Murray For Mayor”

Posted on October 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Dennis Haskins guest stars!

Episode 1.14 “Murray for Mayor”

(DIr by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on January 24th, 1999)

Upset that his favorite tree stump has been slated to be destroyed to make room for a new road, Murray decides to run for mayor of Malibu. When they discover that Murray’s father has given him a check for $20,000, Scott and Jason declare themselves to be Murray’s campaign managers.

Being two sociopaths, Jason and Scott proceed to spend the money on things for themselves. It doesn’t matter, though. Murray soon finds himself rising in the polls.

Who is Murray’s opponent? It’s none other than Dennis Haskins, of Saved By The Ball fame! Haskins plays himself in this episode, offering up a bunch of vacuous plans and slogans while continually having to explain to people that Mr. Belding was just a character that he played on television. When Haskins learns that Scott and Jason have been using the money on things like a new television, he informs them that he will report them to the campaign board unless Murray loses.

Being two sociopaths, Jason and Scott try to sabotage Murray’s campaign by telling Murray to make increasingly outrageous promises. But it doesn’t matter …. Murray wins the election!

Yay! Jason and Scott are going to prison! The show’s over!

No, not quite. After making sure that his stump will be saved, Murray resigns as mayor. Dennis Haskins announces that he’ll be running to replace Murray and, for some reason, this means that he’s dropping his investigation into Jason and Scott’s financial activities. I don’t think that’s the way it works but whatever.

Meanwhile, Tracy is learning how to be a magician. She accidentally handcuffs herself to Stads, totally ruining Stads’s date with some random guy. Luckily, Tracy later handcuffs herself to the same guy and convinces him to give Stads a second chance.

(Where would mediocre sitcoms be without aspiring magicians and handcuffs?)

This episode was actually not as bad as it probably sounds. Casting Dennis Haskins as himself and then having him spend the entire episode angrily saying that he’s tired of talking about Screech was actually kind of clever and probably a good reflection of what was actually happing in Haskins’s life at the time. With its story of a washed-up celeb running for political office, this episode actually felt a bit prophetic. (Just a few months before this episode aired, Jesse Ventura was elected governor of Minnesota.) Just as Ben Savage had to spend his entire congressional run dealing with questions about why he no longer talks to the cast of Boy Meets World, Dennis Haskins finds his entire campaign defined by one role.

In the end, this episode predicts our cynical future. Murray is elected despite being an idiot. How often does that happen nowadays?

A Blast From the Past: Saved By The Belding (dir by Matt Hamilton and Scott Hamilton)

Posted on October 3, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Do you all remember that time that Rod Belding came to Bayside High School as a substitute?

At first, the students were surprised. Rod was the younger brother of their stuffy principal, Richard Belding. Richard was going bald. Rod had long blonde hair. Richard was boring. Rod was exciting. Richard was by-the-book. Rod took chances. Richard wanted to go on a boring class trip. Rod wanted to take the students white water rafting! When Richard called Rod out for the way he was running his class, student Zack Morris accused Richard of just being jealous of his brother. You would think this would get Zack suspended but instead, the studio audience just said, “Awwww!”

But then, the night before the students were due to leave for their rafting trip, Rod told Richard that he had met a flight attendant and he was abandoning the students.

“Cover for me,” Rod said.

“I’m tired of covering for you, Rod. Get out of my school!” Richard snapped.

That said, Richard did cover for his brother. He said Rod had the flu and then he volunteered to take the students on their rafting trip. Kelly Kapowski was so thrilled that she kissed Richard on the cheek, which one would expect to lead to Mr. Belding losing his job once word got out that he had physical contact with a student. Instead, the audience applauded.

Zack asked Richard why didn’t tell the truth about Rod. It turned out Zack had overheard the whole conversation. Richard admitted that the students at Bayside got the less exciting Belding.

“We got the better Belding,” Zack replied as the audience awwed and applauded once again.

The audience was there because this was all an episode of Saved By The Bell. In fact, “The Fabolous Belding Boys” was perhaps the best episode of Saved by the Bell, featuring excellent performances from both Dennis Haskins and Edward Blatchford.

The 2010 short film, Saved By The Belding, tells the story of a group of men who don’t understand that Saved By The Bell was just a television show and that Dennis Haskins and Edward Blatchford were just actors. Hoping to help them regain some sense of reality, their psychiatrist takes them to the Hollywood home of Ed Blatchford. Ed is excited to talk to his fans, asking them if they know him from his work in Last of the Mohicans. The men, however, want to know is he really had the flu or if Richard was just covering for him. Ed, realizing that the men don’t understand that he’s not actually Rod Belding, invites them to join him for dinner at a nice restaurant. However, as Ed is heading to the restaurant, he runs into an old acquaintance — a flight attendant — who invites him to come have dinner with her.

Will Ed abandon his new friends? And will Dennis Haskins once again have to come to the rescue?

Saved By The Belding is a sweet little film, one that views the cultural obsession with Saved By The Bell with both affection and wit. (That said, the cultural obsessions does seem to be waning a bit. For the first time in a long time, it’s next to impossible to find the show streaming online.) Both Dennis Haskin and especially Ed Blatchford deserve a lot of credit for being good sports and appearing as versions of themselves. Ed’s shock when Dennis appeared out of nowhere made me laugh out loud.

Check it out below and ask yourself who got the better Belding.

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night #219: Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on January 2, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday evening, I watched the 1992 made-for-TV movie, Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style!

Why Was I Watching It?

Eh. It was on Netflix. I was thinking about all of the fun that I had when I visited Hawaii. I had just posted my review of Dustin Diamond’s Behind The Bell and I was feeling a little guilty about some of the things I wrote about him. I saw the film was available to watch and I thought, “Why not?”

What Was It About?

The Saved By The Bell gang is spending their summer vacation in Hawaii! Kelly’s grandfather (played by “special guest star” Dean Jones) owns a hotel but …. uh-oh! It looks like the hotel is going to go out of business unless Zack and the gang can fool a bunch of principals (led by their principal, Mr. Belding) to check in.

Along with trying to save the hotel, each member of the Gang gets an adventure of their own!

Zack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) falls for a single mother (Rena Sofer), who has a rich boyfriend who owns a limo. Zack thinks the guy is shallow and is unimpressed with his wealth. Zack Morris, class warrior? Whatever.

Kelly (Tiffani-Amber Theissen) falls for her grandfather’s lawyer, not knowing that he’s actually working for the rival hotel.

Jessie (Elizabeth Berkley) and Slater (Mario Lopez) try to spend the entire vacation without fighting.

Lisa (Lark Voorhies) makes a bet that Jessie and Slater can’t spend the entire vacation without fighting.

And Screech (Dustin Diamond) is mistaken for a deity by a Polynesian tribe.

Wait, what?

What Did Not Work?

It’s Saved By The Bell …. without a laugh track!

Unfortunately, Saved By The Bell was one of those shows that really needed a laugh track because, without the sound of an audience being ordered to laugh, it becomes next to impossible to ignore just how lame most of the jokes are. Though the cast of Saved By The Bell featured a few talented actors, every single one of them still delivers their Hawaiian Style lines as if they’re waiting for the laughter that never comes. As a result, every “laugh line” is followed by an awkward pause.

As for the show’s plot …. well, let’s put it like this. Traditionally, I start out these posts by discussing what worked before then discussing what didn’t. However, so little works with Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style that I felt like it was best to get all of the negative stuff out of the way early. While Saved By The Bell always required a healthy suspension of disbelief, Hawaiian Style abuses the privilege. Saved By The Bell Hawaiian Style asks us to believe the following:

Kelly would be allowed to travel all the way to Hawaii without her parents.
She would be allowed to take along all of her friends, who would also be traveling without parents.
Screech would somehow be invited, despite the fact that no one in the group seems to like him.
Somehow, their high school principal would also turn up in Hawaii at the exact same time.
A single mother would dump her rich boyfriend for a high school junior.
Screech would be mistaken for a Hawaiian God.

Of course, I guess some would say that we should be happy that the Gang was around to save the day but it’s hard not to notice that all of Zack’s schemes are dependent upon some terrible lie. As well, I have to wonder if it was really worth all the trouble to save Kelly’s grandfather’s hotel. I mean, maybe the guy just wasn’t a very good businessman. I would probably be annoyed if I was on vacation in Hawaii with my friends and I was told that I would be spending the entire time working because some guy who was 50 years older than me couldn’t figure out how to balance the books.

This movie apparently aired on primetime television. I wonder how viewers who didn’t know about Saved By The Bell felt when they came across it.

What Worked?

As bad as it was, it was also Saved By The Bell and, as a result, it did have some nostalgic appeal to it. After the movie aired, Saved By The Bell: Hawaiian Style was sold into syndication as four regular episodes of Saved By The Bell and I can still remember seeing them on whatever channel Saved By The Bell was airing on at the time and thinking to myself, “What the Hell?”

The film was shot on location so, needless to say, the scenery was lovely. Mario Lopez and Elizabeth Berkley had a few fun moments as Slater and Jessie tried to go the entire trip without fighting. There were small pleasures to be found. Very small.

“OMG! Just like me!” Moments

When I was seventeen, I spent the summer in Hawaii with my mom and my sisters. It was a lot of fun. Though I don’t swim, I still had a lot of fun laying out on the beach. Hawaii is one of the most incredibly beautiful places that I’ve ever seen. I would sneak out at the hotel at night and then marvel at the scenery during the day. It was one of my favorite summers. Of course, I also didn’t have to spend my vacation helping a bad businessman save his resort. That helped.

Lessons Learned

Apparently, I’ll watch anything.

2017 in Review: The Best of SyFy

Posted on January 11, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing my look back at the best of 2017, today is the day that I reveal my picks for the best SyFy movies and performances of the previous year!

But before I do that, a plea to the SyFy Network. I make this plea every year and it never does any good. It probably won’t do any good this year. But still, I’m going to make it. SyFy, give us more original films! From a business point of view, I can understand why SyFy shifted their focus from movies to episodic television. But I’m not a business person! I’m a movie lover, one who has wonderful memories of when every weekend would bring another gloriously over-the-top SyFy movie.

Those were wonderful days and it’s sad that the only time that I get to relive them is either during Shark Week or during October.

Seriously, SyFy — give us more original movies!

With that in mind, here are my picks for the best of 2017 SyFy:

(All credits are based on what’s listed at the imdb. If anyone has been incorrectly credited or left out, please leave a comment and I will correct the mistake.)

Best Picture — House of the Witch (produced by Neil Elman, Margaret Huddleston, Bryan Sexton)

This haunted house movie was effectively creepy and featured some unexpectedly starting imagery. Runners-up (and it was a close race): Trailer Park Shark, Sharknado 5, and The Sandman.

Best Director — Griff Furst for Trailer Park Shark

The idea of sharks attacking a trailer park sounds like a huge joke but Furst crafted it into a compelling and entertaining story that celebrated redneck ingenuity.

Best Actor — Ian Ziering in Sharknado 5

The fifth time is the charm as Ziering gives his best performance so far as the chainsaw-wielding Finn.

Best Actress — Haylie Duff in The Sandman

Duff brings some much-needed gravity to the role of a formerly irresponsible aunt trying to save her niece from a monster made of sand.

Best Supporting Actor — Jason London in Mississippi River Sharks and Dennis Haskins in Trailer Park Shark

As much as I tried, I simply could not make a choice between London’s comedic performance (as himself) and Dennis Haskins’s villainous turn. So, we have a tie!

Best Supporting Actress — Shae Smolik in The Sandman

As the girl being haunted by the Sandman, Smolik gave a refreshingly realistic performance.

Best Screenplay — Neil Elman for House of the Witch

This is the third year in a row that Neil Elman has won in this category.

Best Cinematography — Dane Lawing for House of the Witch

House of the Witch feature some truly haunting images. In my review, I raved about one shot in particular, of a pickup truck driving across the desolate landscape in the middle of the night.

Best Costumes — Mary-Sue Morris for Empire of the Sharks and Kendra Terpenning for Neverknock

Another tie. Empire of the Sharks proved that, just because the world’s ending, that doesn’t mean you can’t look good, Neverknock’s costumes made good use of the Halloween setting, especially with Lola Flannery’s devil costume.

Best Editing — Anna Florit and Ryan Michelle for Sharknado 5

In 2017, Sharknado 5 took us on a trip around the world, offered up nonstop action, and there was never a boring moment.

Best Makeup — Madeleine Botha for Empire of the Sharks

Again, just because the world’s ending, that doesn’t mean you can’t look good.

Best Score — Andrew Morgan Smith for Trailer Park Shark

The score brought the bayou, the trailer park, and the shark to life!

Best Production Design — Anthony Stabley and Dana Rice for House of the Witch

Seriously, that house was so creepy!

Best Sound — Dylan Blount, Leandro Cassan, Jonathan Iglecias , Mitchell Kohen, Chris Polczinski, Mike Varela for House of the Witch

It wasn’t just the way the house looked in House of the Witch that made it a creepy place. It was also the way that every sound in the background could have just been someone stumbling around or it could have been the witch about to jump out and rip off someone’s fingers.

Best Visual Effects — Craig Bassuk, Sasha Burrow, Yancy Calzada, Glenn Campbell , Yolanda Charlo Rodriguez, Aine Graham, John Karner, Tammy Klein, Mark Kochinski , Kevin Lane, Christian McIntire, James Payfer, Richard A. Payne, Paul Runyan, Chris Simmons, Scott Wheeler, Aaron Witlin,
Al Magliochetti for Sharknado 5

Keep those sharks flying!

Tomorrow, my look back at 2017 continues with my list of good things that I saw on television last year (not counting, of course, all of the good things that I just mentioned in this post).

Previous entries in the TSL’s Look Back at 2017:

Let’s Talk About Trailer Park Shark (dir by Griff Furst)

Posted on August 5, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh hell yeah!

Listen, if you ever find yourself being unexpectedly menaced by a shark, you’re going to want a redneck around. Trust me on this. I may not be one myself but I’ve grown up around rednecks and I feel a lot safer around them than I do with sensitive types from up north. Seriously, if you’re under shark attack, who do you want protecting you? A guy with a gun and a cooler full of beer or someone who drives a Prius? Elon Musk may be smarter but, when it comes to sharks, Trace Adkins is going to be more helpful.

The other great thing about rednecks is that there’s nothing that they can’t do with duct tape. Give a redneck enough duct tape and a weather satellite and I guarantee that he’ll find a way to stop climate change. There’s a name for that: redneck ingenuity.

When I was watching Trailer Park Shark on Wednesday night, I was impressed with the amount of duct tape on display. As the main character, a redneck played by Thomas Ian Nicholas, was using duct tape to solve yet another problem, I tweeted that I was enjoying the music playing in the background. To me, it sounded like something that Ennio Morricone would have come up with for a spaghetti western. It fit the scene perfectly because Trailer Park Shark is a film that make duct tape feel just as epic as the final cemetery confrontation in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Andrew Morgan Smith, who did excellent work on the film’s score, informed me that the musical cue was called “Redneck Ingenuity.”

That’s a perfect name because, while Trailer Park Shark is about a lot of things, it is ultimately a celebration of redneck ingenuity and the never-give-up attitude of life in the Southern bayou. The characters in Trailer Park Shark have a lot to deal with. Because of a freak rains storm and some evil plotting by mean old Mr. Deconnard (Dennis Haskins), their trailer park has been flooded. And with the flood has come a shark! It would be easy to give up, especially when people and horses start getting eaten. But no one surrenders to fate! No one gives up!

It’s a lot of fun, as any movie about a shark attacking a trailer park should be. All of the characters in the park are memorable in their redneck way. Even with the majority of the park underwater and neighbors getting eaten left and right, they’re still just as likely to be fighting each other as they are the shark. While I personally have never lived in a trailer park, I’ve lived close to a few and I’ve spent a few nights visiting and this film gets the atmosphere just right. Griff Furst, who is something of a specialist when it comes to bayou chaos, brings this location to life. From the very first tracking shot to the film’s action-packed finale, the bayou feels alive. You can easily imagine this location and these people existing long before the cameras started rolling. The relationships feel real.

Speaking of feeling real, I always suspected that Dennis Haskins had the ability to play a really evil character. Seriously, go watch the earliest episodes of Saved By The Bell and you’ll see some hints of darkness underneath Mr. Belding’s goofy exterior. That said, Haskins does such a good job playing this film’s villain that you eventually forget that you’re watching Mr. Belding threatening to kill people. Instead, he’s just a very bad man with an interesting preference in weapons.

(Speaking of weapons, Tara Reid also shows up, playing a trailer park resident who has a wide variety of weapons at her disposal. Though her role is small, her appearance allows for some playful poking at the Sharknado franchise.)

I liked Trailer Park Shark. It’s a blast of pure entertainment and my favorite of the recent SyFy shark movies. Since SyFy reruns everything a hundred times, keep an eye out for it!

Watch it in honor of the rednecks who keep us safe from sharks, often at the cost of life, limb, and satellite dish.

What Lisa and Megan Watched Last Night #96: Saved By The Bell 2.9 “Jessie’s Song” (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on December 28, 2013 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sister Megan and I watched the classic 1990 Saved By The Bell caffeine pill episode, Jessie’s Song.

My sister Megan and I stayed up way too late last night but it's her fault for having all the seasons of Saved By The Bell on DVD.

— Lisa Marie Bowman (@LisaMarieBowman) December 27, 2013

Why Were We Watching It?

I was visiting Megan and her family for the holidays, she has every episode of Saved By The Bell on DVD — seriously, how could we not end up watching it?

What Was It About?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times and things at Bayside High were pretty messed up. Self-declared genius Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) was failing Geometry so she started taking caffeine pills. Then, her sociopathic friend Zack (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) decided that Jessie should also launch a musical career as a member of the disturbingly generic girl group Hot Sundae. And who can blame him with all of this talent of display?

And so, Jessie started taking more and more pills. And then, this happened…

Fear not! Jessie recovered from her drug addiction in time to be featured in Johnny Dakota’s No Hope With Dope ad campaign.

What Worked?

Jessie’s Song is like The Room of Saved By The Bell episodes, 22 minutes of television that is just so wrong and oddly executed that it becomes oddly fascinating. For that reason, it’s impossible to judge this episode by standard definitions of quality.

The idea that Kelly, Lisa, and Jessie (a.k.a. Hot Sundae) could get a recording contract, the fact that Jessie ends up getting hooked on the equivalent of can of Red Bull, the fantasy sequence where Jessie imagines having to go to Surf U. because she failed Geometry, the fact that a few pills transform Jessie overnight, and the overly optimistic ending; none of it works. And, for that reason, the entire episode works.

Consider this — before I had even seen this episode, I knew that Jessie Spano ended up getting hooked on caffeine pills and singing, “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so …. SCARED!” For better or worse, this episode is a part of our culture.

On a personal note, I loved the extremely earnest way Mario Lopez delivered the line, “Hold on, Jessie — it says right here that these may be habit-forming…”

What Did Not Work?

As Megan pointed out to me, there’s a huge continuity error in this episode. Back in the glee club episode, it had been established that Kelly couldn’t sing. Now, suddenly, she’s on the verge of getting a recording contract. Was there no such thing as a consistency at Bayside? No wonder Jessie ended up addicted to drugs.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Jessie Spano, I have a tendency to push myself. Whereas Jessie pushed herself to attend an Ivy League college and to try to destroy the patriarchy, I push myself to post a certain amount of film reviews each month.

For instance, earlier this year, I decided that I would post at least 120 reviews in October. And so, much like Jessie, I pushed myself and pushed myself and, when I felt like I couldn’t go on, I took every pill that I had in the medicine cabinet and then I danced around my bedroom going, “I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so … scared!”

And some people though that was silly on my part but you know what? This October, the TSL posted 137 new reviews so, obviously, I was doing something right. And I’ve already decided that next year, we’re going to break all previous records. That’s right — 200 posts in October of 2014! You read it here first.

And, to think, I owe it all to caffeine.

Lessons Learned

There’s no hope with dope! Wait … no, actually, that was a different episode. In this one, I guess I learned not to abuse caffeine but I really didn’t learn that because I’ve seen this episode a few dozen times and I’m still addicted to caffeine and, for that matter, I’m still pushing myself and having trouble accepting that I can’t always be the best at everything so maybe I didn’t learn anything from this episode…

Oh wait! I did learn something. Geometry leads to drug addiction and causes you to let all of your friends down.

Seriously, geometry sucks.

(For another look at drug abuse in the 1990s, please be sure to check out my review of the California Dreams steroid episode, Tiffani’s Gold.)

What Lisa And Megan Watched Last Night #61: Saved By The Bell: The New Class S2E9 “Belding’s Prank” (dir by Don Barnhart)

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as Christmas came to a close, my sister Megan and I continued to celebrate the holiday week by bonding over yet another episode of a bad (yet oddly addictive) 90s sitcom. Last night, we watched “Belding’s Prank,” an episode from the 2nd season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Why Were We Watching It?

You can read the full details here but, long story short, I’m spending my holiday week in Ft. Worth with my sister Megan and Megan (because she’s the best) has every episode of Saved By The Bell: The New Class on DVD. When I learned this, I naturally became super excited because, when I was too young to know any better, I used to watch SBTB: TNC every Saturday morning. Anyway, for the past few days, Megan and I have been bonding over bad sitcoms from the 90s.

(For the record, Megan claims that, if she ever saw a single first-run episode of SBTB, it was just because she was waiting for California Dreams to come on.)

Last night, we watched several episodes of SBTB: The New Class but the one that made the biggest impression on me was the 9th episode of the 2nd season, Belding’s Prank.

(Before anyone asks, yes — we both would have rather been watching Django Unchained or Les Miserables but yesterday, it snowed! Needless to say, we were all excited to look out the window and see snow falling on Christmas. We had fun playing in the snow but there was no way that any of us we were planning on trying to drive in it. Seriously, we live in Texas, where 80 degrees is considered to be a cold front. We don’t know the first thing about driving in the snow.)

What Was It About?

SBTB: TNC was infamous for changing its cast of characters almost every season. When I first saw the show, the main character was Ryan (played by the adorable Richard Lee Jackson) but what I didn’t realize was that Ryan was actually the third main character. He was preceded by a guy named Scott and another guy named Brian Keller. Belding’s Prank is a Brian episode. When we first started watching this episode, I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to follow the episode because I didn’t know much about Brian (played by Christian Oliver) as a character. However, I quickly discovered that Brian had absolutely the exact same personality as Ryan (and, I assume, Scott) and therefore, it really didn’t matter.

Anyway, in Belding’s Plot, it’s prank week at Bayside! Brian is encouraging everyone to engage in increasingly elaborate pranks. Bayside’s principal, Mr. Belding (Dennis Haskins), thinks that it’s all a lot of fun. However, Belding’s assistant, Screech (Dustin Diamond) is concerned because there’s a new district superintendent and he could drop by the school at any minute. It appears that Mr. Belding has yet to meet (or even see) the new superintendent (which is kinda odd when you think about it) and when the superintendent does show up, Belding assumes that it’s a prank. The superintendent, meanwhile, sees that Bayside is in chaos and he promptly fires Mr. Belding.

This is where things get weird. The superintendent holds a school assembly to introduce the new principal. Since this is Saved By The Bell, there’s only about 20 students at the assembly. Anyway, before the superintendent can announce the new principal, Brian stands up and shouts, “We don’t want a new principal! We want Mr. Belding back!” Now, instead of suspending Brian for disrupting a school assembly, the superintendent replies that the students should have respected their principal if they liked him so much.

“Here’s your new principal,” the superintendent announces, “Mr. Richard Belding!”

Mr. Belding steps out on stage. The 20 students at the assembly go wild. So, was Mr. Belding really fired or was he just playing a prank on the students? Or did Brian’s words sway the superintendent?

Seriously, what the Hell’s going on?

What Worked?

Say what you will about this episode overall, it’s here that Dennis Haskins gave perhaps his best performance in the role of Mr. Belding. When Belding came out of his office and told the assembled student, “I’ve been fired,” you truly felt both the man’s pain and the disappointment he felt towards the entitled students who had just ruined his life. I may be wrong but I’m pretty sure that Haskins even had tears in his eyes as he delivered the line.

What Did Not Work?

Okay, let’s ignore the obvious flaws. I won’t go into the odd logic of the film’s plot. I won’t mention the fact that the student body at Bayside High appears to be abnormally powerful and influential for a bunch of public school students. I won’t even talk about the fact that Dustin Diamond is in this episode.

However, I am going to point out one of the most glaring continuity flaws in the history of this show.

As you may remember, in the original Saved By The Bell, Belding’s office was this tiny and depressing room with ugly wood paneling and a window that was never opened. Starting with the second season of The New Class, Belding got a new cheerful office. This office was much larger, much more colorful, and it had large windows that showed off the green campus of Bayside High. A good deal of this episode took place in Belding’s “new” office and, watching it, I couldn’t help but think about how much more cheerful Belding seemed to be now that his office was less oppressive.

However, if you’ll remember, there was a flash forward episode of the original Saved By The Bell that took place in 2003. This was the episode where a bunch of students gathered in the principal’s office so that they could watch a video time capsule left behind for them by Zach, Slater, and Screech. In this episode, it’s established that Mr. Belding is still principal of Bayside in 2003…

AND HE’S BACK IN HIS OLD OFFICE!

But that’s not all! When SBTB: TNC ended in 2000 (3 years before the time capsule episode), it was established that Belding was leaving Bayside so that he could take a job as dean of a college in Tennessee. It was also suggested that Screech (despite never having graduated from college) would be his replacement as principal…

So, what happened during those 3 years that led to Belding returning to Bayside and moving back into his old office? And why did Belding pretend like he barely remembered Screech while watching that time capsule video?

Seriously, this was really bugging me last night. Fortunately, it turned out that it was really bugging Megan as well. We spent about half an hour trying to figure out what had happened and we came up several possible scenarios, all of which concluded with Belding returning to California and murdering Screech in one grisly way or another.

Seriously, we had a lot of fun with it.

“OH MY GOD! Just like me!” Moments

None. Everyone in this episode was just too stupid.

Lessons Learned

It’s fun to come up with grisly ways to kill off an annoying character.