TV Review: Twin Peaks: The Return Part 8 (dir by David Lynch)

Posted on June 25, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It is happening again.

Yeah, this isn’t going to be easy.

Tonight’s episode of Twin Peaks was … well, I’m not sure how to describe it. Basically, if you combined Tree of Life and Kiss Me Deadly with The Beast of Yucca Flats and Tombs of the Blind Dead, you would end up with something resembling tonight’s episode. Tonight’s episode was David Lynch at both his most brilliant and his most cheerfully defiant. Tonight was David Lynch unleashed. People either hated it or they loved it.

The recapper over at E! News Online hated it. I almost didn’t include a link to their recap, largely because the only reason they’re recapping Twin Peaks is to get the clicks. They’re certainly not recapping it because they have any sort of genuine understanding or, for that matter, interest in what Lynch is attempting to do. For the most part, their recap went something like this: “Oh my God, that was soooo weird and the nuclear explosion sequence went on forever and what was the deal with 1956 and look at all the snarky nicknames I’ve come up with for all the characters and oh my God, did I mention that I have a roommate?” If your main complaint about tonight’s episode is that it was “too weird,” then you obviously are not meant to be a part of this show’s audience.

As for the length of the nuclear explosion … seriously? What the Hell type of complaint is that? You might as well complain that the stargate sequence went on for too long in 2001 or maybe that Picasso shouldn’t have taken up so much space with Guernica. It’s easy to imagine this critic in Elizabethan England, whining that Hamlet was just too talky. Tonight, we were lucky enough to witness one of the most visually stunning sequences in the history of television and you actually have the freaking nerve to complain that it went on for too long? I understand that, over at the Kardashian network, being snarky is a part of the job but you can be snarky without being stupid about it.

I was not the only one disappointed by that recap…

(I usually try to cut recappers some slack. After all, you’re on a deadline and you’re trying to beat everyone else for those clicks and sometimes, you rush and you say something stupid. I’ve been there. Just ask Arleigh about the first season Game of Thrones recap where I somehow managed to mix up Jon Snow and Robb Stark. That was beyond embarrassing. But, again, there’s a difference between being rushed and being willfully ignorant about what you’ve just watched. For instance, there’s a reason why I wouldn’t even try to recap that football show starring Dwayne Johnson. I guess my point is that maybe E! should focus on what they’re good at, like promoting scripted reality programs and helping Scott Disick get laid.)

Anyway, here’s my attempt to recap what I watched. I will warn you right now that a mere recap is not going to do this episode justice. If you haven’t seen it, you need to watch it before reading any recap, regardless of who wrote it. Tonight, I saw images that I never expected to ever see on television. There were visuals of such unexpected beauty and haunting menace that you simply must see them for yourself.

We open with a classic David Lynch driving scene. Doppelganger Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Ray (George Griffith) are driving down a country road in the middle of the night. The Warden attempted to put tracking devices on the car but Doppelganger Cooper was far too clever for him.

Ray apologizes for running off on Doppelganger Cooper and asks where Darya is. The Doppelganger says that she’s waiting for their phone call. (If you’ve seen the pilot episode, you know that she was murdered by the Doppelganger.) The Doppelganger says that Ray has something that he wants. Ray assures him that he does and that he all the “numbers memorized.” However, Ray thinks that it might be worth some money if the Doppelganger really wants what he has.

Doppelganger Cooper tells Ray that they’re going to a place called The Farm but Ray asks if they can pull over for a sec so he can, as he so charmingly puts it, “take a leak.”

“Go for it,” Doppelganger Cooper replies.

Well, not surprisingly, Ray has another reason for wanting to pull over. As soon as Doppelganger Cooper gets out of the car and demands the information, Ray shoots him.

“Tricked ya, fucker,” Ray says.

And that’s when things start to get … strange.

Suddenly, there is a flashing light and, as Ray watches, a group of dark men (much like the dark men who previously appeared in the South Dakota jail and outside the morgue) emerge from the woods. They surround the doppelganger. While some dance in a circle, others paw at the the body. Briefly, it appears as if Cooper’s chest has been opened and the smiling face of Killer BOB (Frank Silva) can be seen. Ray runs back to his car and speeds off while the dark men vanish.

As he drives away, Ray calls Phillip Jeffries and tells him that Cooper might be dead but he’s not 100% sure.

Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, Nine Inch Nails performs. The recapper at E! felt that the Nine Inch Nails performance went on for too long, which again shows a remarkable ignorance about the importance of music in David Lynch’s work. (Considering how much Twin Peaks: The Return has in common with Lost Highway, the sudden appearance of Nine Inch Nails felt totally appropriate.)

As the song comes to an end, we cut back to the Doppelganger, who suddenly sits up. Has he come back to life or did those two gunshots really fail to kill him the first time? And what’s happening with Dougie/Cooper? It’s been suggested that the only way for Cooper to be Cooper again is for the Doppelganger to die and return to the Black Lodge. If the Doppelganger was dead for even a moment, does that mean Dougie/Cooper had a moment of clarity?

Those are all good questions that were not answered tonight because Lynch suddenly cuts from the Doppelganger to July 16th, 1945. Suddenly, we are in White Sands, New Mexico, listening as a voice counts down to zero. We watch from above as the world’s first atomic bomb is detonated. A mushroom cloud slowly and, it must be said, beautifully rises up into the sky.

The viewer plunges into the mushroom cloud and what follows is a mix of sound and image that so beautiful and so menacing that it is almost indescribable. We are surrounded by flames and explosions as we plunge into the heart of man-made destruction. In many ways, it reminded me of the Big Bang sequence of Terence Malick’s Tree of Life but, whereas Malick was imagining creation, Lynch is imagining destruction.

We find ourselves now looking at what appears to be a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Spurts of static are heard on the soundtrack while lights flash and shadowy men appear (and disappear) inside and outside of the station.

A figure floats in a gray space, apparently spitting up eggs. One of the eggs floats by us and, again, the face of Killer BOB is seen.

More flames. More explosions. A golden egg floats towards the camera. Briefly, we hear a heartbeat.

Cut to: the purple ocean that Cooper saw when he first escaped from the Black Lodge.

A woman who, in the end credits, is identified as being Senorita Dido (Joy Nash) sits in a gray drawing room. We hear an electronic clanking and a light starts to flash. The Giant (Carel Struycken) enters the room and turns off the alarm.

Moving slowly, the Giant walks up a flight of stairs. He walks into a theater, one that looks much like the Silencio theater from Mulholland Drive. On a screen, he watches the nuclear explosion. When he sees the egg with BOB’s face, the Giant suddenly starts to float into the air.

Senorita Dido enters the theater and watches as a golden cloud appears over the Giant’s head. From the cloud descends a golden egg, which Dido catches. In the egg, she sees the face of Laura Palmer. Dido kisses the egg and then releases it into the air. It’s sucked into a tube.

Dido stares at the screen, watching as the golden egg descends on Earth.

We cut to 1956. The New Mexico desert. (The rest of the episode is in black-and-white, giving these scenes a Beast of Yucca Flats feel. You can easily imagine Tor Johnson wandering about.) Another egg — this one much smaller, sits on the barren ground. It hatches and winged bug crawls out. (It looked like a mutated cockroach to me.)

Cut to the gas station, where a teenage couple is talking. (Coincidentally or not, they resemble James and Donna from the original series.) The girl (Tikaeni Faircrest) gets excited when she finds a penny on the ground. Well, who wouldn’t? Later, the boy (Xolo Mariduena) asks the girl for just one kiss. I’m not sure who they are or why they’re here but they’re both actually rather sweet.

A shadowy figure — the Woodsman (Robert Broski) — appears walking through the desert. The recapper at E! News apparently thought that the Woodsman was meant to be a “gorilla.” Of course, anyone who actually know anything about movies will immediately notice that the Woodsman looks a lot like the evil man who was living behind the dumpster in Mulholland Drive.

The monster from Mulholland Drive

The Woodsman from Twin Peaks, Part 8

The Woodsman stumbles across the highway. He approaches a couple in a car. “Got a light?” he asks, his voice deep and almost robotic. “Got a light?” he repeats, like a malfunctioning recording. The couple speeds away and we see that the Woodsman is not alone. At least two other shadowy men are with him.

A radio station, KPJK, sits in the middle of the desert. The Woodsman approaches.

We see that everyone in the nearby town — from an auto mechanic to a waitress to the teenage girl who found the penny — is listening to the station.

The woodsman enters the station. “Got a light?” he asks, before crushing the receptionist’s head with his gloved hand. He does the same thing to the station’s disc jockey but not before the Woodsman gets on the air and says, “This is the water and this is the well. Drink full and descend. The horse is the white of the eyes and dark within.”

As everyone in town listens to the Woodsman’s voice, they pass out. While the girl lies unconscious, the bug crawls into her mouth.

Having delivered his message and killed everyone at the station, the Woodsman walks into the night. The sound of a horse whinnying is heard.

And that’s it!

What does it all mean? I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve never seen anything like it before. This was experimental cinema at its best. (And make no mistake. Twin Peaks is not a TV series as much as it’s an 18-hour movie.) Was it for everyone? No. Then again, nothing worthwhile ever is. David Lynch once described his first feature film, Eraserhead, as being a “dream of dark and disturbing things.” I can think of no better description for Part 8 of Twin Peaks.

The saga continues in two weeks! Will we still be in 1956? Will Dougie/Cooper ever snap back to normal? Will James Hurley ever show up again? Who knows!? But I will say this: I can’t wait to find out.

Twin Peaks on TSL:

TV Recap: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Episode #11: “The Magical Place”

Posted on January 11, 2014 by Semtex Skittle

Nobody was more excited for the return of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. than me. I mean that literally. I think no one, anywhere on earth… was more excited for the return of this boring, silly show. There’s no way the cast members were more excited. I’ll maybe be willing to give Jed Whedon and Maurissa Truncheon the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were equally as excited. I mean, the show’s success kind of determines their viability, right? How do you screw up a big budget TV show that’s within Marvel’s universe, when the Marvel universe is gangbusters?

If you’re reading this, you probably don’t share my excitement for the return of this TV show. Maybe you just want to read recaps about it? Who can say? But I won’t bore you with my personal commentary any longer. Let’s recap the show!

The triumphant return of Previously On…

We get to see one line of dialogue from Ron Glass! I am much too excited about this! Remember, guys, how Loki stabbed Coulson in the chest? Oh, and remember the half-season cliffhanger episode where Mike Peterson fought some super powered dudes and May remained completely stoic and in control as she dodged a series of kicks and punches? Remember how Mike Peterson probably exploded? (Poor Mike Peterson). Well if you didn’t remember before, you definitely do now. I am beginning to suspect that this episode will have something to do with the mystery of Coulson’s death! Perhaps we will learn a tiny bit of information that will raise further questions! Let’s find out together!

Cold open: A pretty young woman and an Australian man (Aiden Turner) are discussing business. The business of Chitauri metal (this would be, if you’ve forgotten, remnants from the Chitauri invasion during “The Avengers”). Why? We don’t know! Then a disc which is (hilariously? obnoxiously? insanely?) branded with the logo of S.H.I.E.L.D. skitters across the floor. “Is that a roomba?” wonders the pretty young woman. Foolish young lady, it is not any variety of iRobot! It is a flashbang device, which cues May and Ward to surge into the room with wooden, workmanlike precision. They then proceed to very professionally work over the muscle in the room. Is it a precise but emotionally distant dance, much like when they make love? You speculate, dear reader, for I will not. The Chitauri metal dealer flees. Ward isn’t fast and dodgy like May, so he is on the ground as she pursues the dealer. Do her movements remind me of the scene in “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” when the T1000 pursues John Connor, overtaking even a moving car? Am I trying too hard to make machine parallels?

Metal dealer escapes Agent May, only to be confronted by UAVs piloted by Fitz-Simmons, which are equipped with tactical lights and being scary, for the metal dealer fires some panicked shots then flees into an elevator! How will we stop him now? Do not fear! Skye has control of the elevator! She sends it upward, at full speed! On the roof is an entire team of S.H.I.E.L.D. mooks, a pretty young red-haired woman, and a helicopter. I’m almost positive that this is Agent Victoria Hand (Saffron Burrows), returning for a second appearance. Presumably, she is here to lead the effort to rescue Agent Coulson from the sinister clutches of Centipede.

In Act I, the credits and some dialogue quickly confirms my suspicions. This is, indeed, the return of Agent Victoria Hand. She’s an actual comic book character, look her up! Comedian Rob Huebel appears prominently in the guest stars, which gives me hope for the future. There are a bunch of mooks on the plane now, reinforced by Agent Hand’s briefing, which includes seriously like a million people. Most of them mooks. I finally am able to make out clearly that the Australian Chitauri Metal Dealer’s name is Vanchat. Hand seems quite certain that Vanchat will talk. Of course, I have no idea what he might know that would help, but I might have missed something.

Agent Hand decides that we need to return to the well of Skye not always having been a straight-laced suit-wearing mantra-citing AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D., by summarily dismissing Skye from the team, and kicking her off the plane. Ward leaps to Skye’s defense, but May disagrees (stoically). Skye’s pretty sure she can find Coulson using her elite hacking skills, and Ward continues to agree. Wait, they’re agreeing? We need Skye off the plane bad. How will this show survive if we can’t have a secondary source of conflict involving poor, beleaguered, beautiful, Chloe Bennett?

Whoops, scene change! It’s been far too long already. Coulson is in his Tahiti fantasy. Then he’s awake… facing down Poe (Cullen Douglas), our old nemesis from Project Centipede. He’s trying to forcibly extract information from Coulson. Coulson points out that he’ll let himself die before he gives up anything. Then they argue about the death of Mike Peterson. Which was still very Hollywood-y. I hope Mike Peterson’s not dead. More mentions of “The Clairvoyant”, the supposedly telepathic third member of the Centipede triumvirate (the other being Raina, the ‘recruiter’, [Ruth Negga]) whom we have yet to meet on-screen. The Clairvoyant apparently saw Coulson’s death, but could not see the aftermath, when he was brought back to life by S.H.I.E.L.D. Mysteriouser and mysteriouser! Coulson’s not in a questions answering mood. Guess it’s time for more torture.

Act II! Skye is in her civvies, in what looks like an internet cafe (are these real anymore?) using a computer. She’s trying to hack stuff, you know? Unfortunately, S.H.I.E.L.D., in a disturbingly Orwellian fashion, shuts down both her access and that of everyone else in the cafe. Big Brother is watching, guys. Skye bails, buys a magazine, identifies some random CEO (Lloyd Rathman, played by the aforementioned Rob Huebel. His role is so minor that all that previously accumulated hope is fading away), then decides she needs to buy a new wardrobe, then steals a car. That’s really how this sequence went. Uh. Moving on!

Scene change! Fitz-Simmons are developing non-lethal countermeasures to the Centipede guys. At least, Simmons wants them to be non-lethal measures. Fitz is less sure. He says any methods necessary is fine, as long as Coulson is brought back safely. Also, the interrogation of Vanchak is going nowhere.

Scene change! Skye is doing stuff. Specifically, she is crashing her stolen Escalade into water barrels, to scam OnStar or whatever into towing her back to the luckless Lloyd Rathman’s house.

Scene change! Ward is taking over the interrogation of our favourite Australian man. Actually, he might be British. I’m not really sure. His accent is kind of mild. Ward, in what is probably a really ethical interrogation method, opens the cell chamber to the air outside the plane.

Scene change! Coulson is attempting an escape. Or is he? Oh, there’s Poe. Not surprised to see Coulson up and about. Apparently they’re in a Nuketown. The super soldiers are there too!

I’m glad we’re back to normal for the show. Skye is here again! She’s “at home” with her stolen Escalade. She calls up Rathman’s offices, and claims that she’s with the LAPD, has recovered a stolen vehicle, and some officers need to take his statement. He rushes home. Yay! More Rob Huebel! When he gets there, Skye confronts him, dressed in aviators and black leather, and says she’s Agent Melinda May. It’s probably the single best tension-breaking moment ever produced in this show. Seriously. I cracked a partial smile, and thought to myself: “I’m really going to enjoy writing about this one brief moment in this episode!”. It may or may not all be downhill from here.

Apparently, Lloyd Rathman is a legitimate businessman! Except for the whole ‘not asking questions about mysterious funds he’s helping shady characters launder’ thing. Skye takes over this scene in a way that we haven’t seen since the infamous Gravitonium Caper. This show is better when they take the manacles off of Chloe Bennett and let her do things beside type on the computer and give reaction shots, or have dumb conversations with Agent Ward that are supposed to contribute emotional depth. It’s obvious Skye has real ability as a face/con type, and Chloe Bennett is much more magnetic when she’s unchained. Free Skye! Free Skye! Anyway, she offers Lloyd immunity from Big Brother’s persecution, or something, if he chooses not to involve his lawyers. Unfortunately, she doesn’t notice when he taps the silent alarm. Oops.

Back aboard the ActionJet, Agent Hand is giving yet another briefing. She’s not happy with Ward, because Skye vanished, and Vanchat was nearly shot out of the plane. Luckily, Vanchat rolled under pressure of going skydiving sans parachute. Agent Hand wants to know why powerful people like Nick Fury give a shit what happens to Coulson. No agent is that important. “Coulson is,” Ward replies. He looks slightly less wooden than usual here. Apparently we need more of Victoria Hand on this show. She seems to inspire other people to demonstrate feelings and act like human beings.

Back with the Coulson torture experience. Raina shows up. The Clairvoyant doesn’t seem concerned about the pursuit of S.H.I.E.L.D. Boy it sure would be nice if we knew more about this Clairvoyant fellow. Now we’re going to argue about the effectiveness of torture. Also, now the Clairvoyant wants to talk to Raina the Recruiter. Tensions are high among Centipede personnel. Then the Clairvoyant kills? Poe. It didn’t look good, at any rate. I’m worried about his long-term health!

Ward isn’t Victoria Hand’s biggest fan. He and May banter a little. Ward wants to know why May acted like a total bitch and let Skye get kicked off the plane. Well, it’s because Skye works better when she can improvise and work outside the system. All of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s rules mostly get in her way. Yes, we’ve known that since the pilot. But I’m glad everyone’s on the same page now. We’ve made real progress with the character of poor Skye: everyone now admits she’s pretty useful. Then we learn that the ActionPlane can apparently flip a bitch. Nice! Back with Rob Huebel and Skye… she’s in total control. How cool is Skye when she gets to do stuff? I know this isn’t a great episode of TV or anything, but, it’s not terrible. This subplot, at the very least, I’m very much enjoying. Private security shows up, but Skye improbably bests them. Take that, Rob Huebel! Now he will do illegal things on Skye’s behalf! I’m sure this will pan out later. Or not. We’ll see.

Raina is not so sad that Poe is dead. He was a murderer, or whatever. The Clairvoyant gives guidance to Centipede. Except, they don’t know how to make people come back to life. Which is apparently what happened to Coulson (we already knew this, right? We can all agree this isn’t news, right?). Raina really wants to know what happened to Coulson after he died. She’s betting that… so does he. This method seems a lot more likely to work than torture, but it does sort of make the whole last episode seem pointless. I mean, we’re already done with Poe? All that work to break him out of prison, bring him in as a strategist, etc…. and he’s gone? Did Cullen Douglas have a big movie deal or something? This show does a really bad job of giving me reasons to care about secondary characters. They overdid it with Mike Peterson, and underdid it with everyone else.

Skye discovers that Rob Huebel is bad with computers. She enlists one of the security mooks she’s imprisoned to do the work while she spits out instructions. Not only does she have a good plan for backtracking Raina’s movements, but she’s still in total control of this episode. Free Chloe Bennett! Skye has what she needs, but she’s also going to borrow the luckless Rob Huebel’s Lamborghini. Is that the Gallardo convertible? We’re all envious of Skye as she zooms off. Back with Raina and Coulson, Raina finally convinces Coulson that ‘The Clairvoyant’ might actually have some telepathic ability by identifying his previous relationship. You know, the cellist. The cellist was heartbroken to learn that Coulson died… except, you know… he’s still alive. So what did happen in Tahiti? Oh, please, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. tell us! You have tantalized us with this storyline all half-season! Surely there must be some payoff!

Back on the ActionJet, Fitz-Simmons have developed a non-lethal countermeasure for the super-soldiers! All you have to do is attach a wrist-watch to them, and it will uh… shut off their superpowers. I mean, it totally sounds reasonable. Right? Anybody? Simmons gets a call from Skye. Simmons awkwardly bandies about code words and tries to act casual. Then May, who always knows what’s up, orders the random mooks out of the room and seizes the phone. Of course it’s Skye! Agent Hand is not at all amused that Ward and May want to take their team and investigate Skye’s lead. Presumably, Hand is supposed to be in charge. Blah blah blah. Unfortunately, rather than being coyly amused with her brilliance, May is a brick wall. You know, just like every other time. An unusually expressive Ward declares that they’re going after Coulson, with or without Hand’s backing. Sounds good, Ward! We all know that problems can only be solved by the main cast!

Meanwhile… Raina is being nice to Coulson. She’s got him in the memory machine, but she’s not zapping him or being a dick. This seems roughly 7,000,000,000,000x more likely to actually get memories out of Coulson’s brain. Sure enough, almost right away he’s remembering Ron Glass, and references to Nick Fury. Since we’re about to go to commercial, I can already tell this is going to be some dumb cliffhanger about Coulson’s fate. Seriously, if this is the only mystery you guys have for us, you shouldn’t have started teasing it in S1E1. Anyway, cliffhanger. No question now. But, dear readers, don’t fear! I will return next week with a more timely recap that will follow the same pattern of tough love that I have adhered to thus far.

Act IV! Skye and her Gallardo arrive at Nuketown! She seems disquieted by the mannequins. I think I would be too. The whole idea of a nuketown seems… weird to me. A Super Soldier rushes to apprehend Skye, but he’s run over by the ActionMobile. Coulson is looking inward, toward Ron Glass. Raina is now frantic, trying to divine Coulson’s secret. Meanwhile, the entire S.H.I.E.L.D. actionteam is assembled. And now even Fitz-Simmons are wearing cool black leather uniforms (actually, they have been all episode, but this is the payoff). Ward and the wristwatch are going to take on Random Super Soldier #1. Everyone else is going to fan out and look for Coulson. May deals with some regular mooks with a little crane style, Ward battles Generic Super Soldier. It’s actually a very nice action sequence. Many film directors have no idea what to do when directing action so they either pull us in way too tight or make the camera super shaky so we can’t really see what’s going on. Here, the direction is smooth and confident. Ward and May are allowed to look like badasses. I really appreciate this touch. Ward jams his supersoldier countermeasure into his guy’s mouth. It works perfectly. Score yet another one for Fitz-Simmons.

Coulson is still trying to remember. Then, abruptly, he does. We’re back in time. Ron Glass is morally outraged. Coulson is begging the S.H.I.E.L.D. doctors to let him die, as some robots work on his brain or something. It would be disturbing, but it’s all so static-free and clean. This scene could have used some more visceral reality. Modern-day Agent Coulson is freaking out. Skye shows up and punches Raina right in her freaking face. Seriously, is anyone as cool as Skye? Maybe not anyone ever. She shows real emotions on her real face at the state she finds Coulson in. Meanwhile, May makes a wooden comment about Skye’s new leather jacket.

Back at the ActionJet, Raina is now a prisoner. She and Coulson have an eye-contact-moment. Hand reports that Centipede has gone down in flames. Nick Fury is pleased with their progress. Hand and her goons are escorting Raina back to headquarters for interrogation. Hand admits that the ActionJet and its ActionTeam and (presumably) its ActionSkye aren’t really her style. Then she’s out. Coulson thanks the team. It was pretty much all Skye, but hey, don’t forget the others. Now after like the 2908308423084th time Skye has been useful, Coulson decides to remove her house arrest bracelet. It’s kind of a fun moment, but tempered by the whole ‘let’s revisit Coulson chanting over and over again “please let me die”‘ thing.

Scene change! Coulson does the creepy Hollywood thing where he’s in the back seat of Ron Glass’ car. You know what I’m talking about. Ron Glass is not proud in the least of the whole ‘bringing Coulson back from the dead’ operation. In case anyone hadn’t picked up on it, the “Tahiti trip” was a hallucination implanted in Coulson’s brain. Ron Glass and the other doctors tried to restore Coulson’s will to live after they put him through unendurable agony. I’m stunned that we’re getting this much detail. My respect for the show has hit an all-time high. It’s still not that high. But it’s higher.

Coda! Few shows do the coda as relentlessly as Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. This one is actually really good. Mike Peterson (J. August Richards) awakes. He’s alive, albeit missing the lower half of his right leg. Oh… and he’s got the eye thing. Well, shit.

This was a clearly above-average episode of Agents. For whatever that’s worth. I hope you either enjoyed the episode, or turned to this recap for solace and enjoyed it instead. Our odyssey will continue next week. Until then, do not fear the super/mutant power revolution. Because Big Brother is watching.

TV Recap: Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Episode #10, “The Bridge”

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Semtex Skittle

Soon, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. takes a short break, gone for the holiday season, and into January. Will we miss it? Perhaps this week’s “mid-season cliffhanger” will determine that answer! Now, without further preamble, let’s discuss it.

But what’s this? We are greeted by a hitherto unused pre-episode “Previously on…” segment! Ah, I see what they did there, they’re reminding us that there are some ongoing plots in this show! I remember some of them! Something tells me that this episode could be connected to such disparate elements as “Project Centipede” and its beautiful evil lady doctors, Coulson’s fate during “The Avengers”, and also Skye is a character we see occasionally!

Cold open? Yes, please!

A middle aged man (Cullen Douglas) is eating a meal in the corner of the prison cafeteria. It is peaceful. But not for long! Danger men explode through the roof, dropping on lines! Also they have super powers, and easily overcome the guards! During the action, we note that one of them has the characteristic implant that both grants super powers and has traditionally turned people into living explosives. Also, it is vaguely reminiscent of a centipede! Our middle aged man continues to eat his meal during the action sequence, then is approached by one of these dangermen! “Time to go, sir,” is quipped. Ruh-roh. Soon, the whole party evacuates via helicopter, and our episode can truly begin.

Act One!

Aboard the S.H.I.E.L.D. plane, Skye is trying to research the identities of her parents. It seems like she has a lot of data to sift through. She asks Coulson to remove her tracking bracelet and give her access to some more restricted files, but he refuses. Instead, he has asked Agent May to look into some top secret stuff on Skye’s behalf. Meanwhile, May and Ward are brawling. May wins, then Ward awkwardly references their sexual escapades, which annoys May. I can tell because she looked slightly more disapproving than usual, and said something abrupt. Okay, so it’s not that compelling. Still, I think she was annoyed!

In the mission briefing, the team is super unexcited to learn that Project Centipede’s guys now number at least three super soldiers, and that no matter how many Centipede labs they blow up, the group keeps re-emerging. The middle aged man they broke out of prison is named Poe. He’s ex-military, a total psychopath, but also an expert on strategy and tactics. This is also a problem, in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s estimation. Luckily, Coulson says, they have backup! It is not a team, it is one guy! It is someone we’ve met before! …. It is Mike Peterson (J. August Richards)! Some will remember him from the pilot episode of the series, when he gained super powers and went amok with them. He’s reformed, since then, and has been training with S.H.I.E.L.D. to become an agent. Does everyone want to join these days? Skye had kind of a moment where she realized that working for S.H.I.E.L.D. was exactly what she had wanted to do with her life somehow (of course, because her characterization is so inconsistent, we have no idea if this was ever true, or just a heat of the moment thing) and Mike Peterson really sees the light now! He wants to do better things and be a better man and… Agent May is not thrilled to see him when he boards the plane. Coulson explains that it’s probably because Peterson threw her into a wall during their last meeting. Peterson seems bummed by that recollection, but also seems open to confronting what happened. So that’s good, I guess. Well-adjusted people are always welcome. Coulson says that everyone deserves a second chance, but that Peterson will not get a third!

Upstairs, Ward, Fitz-Simmons, and Skye are discussing the Mike Peterson situation. Ward is elucidating his concerns about Mike Peterson when Peterson and Coulson arrive. Remember how Mike tried to kill the whole team off in the pilot? If you didn’t know before, you know now! It’s nice that all of the story you need is rehashed here in this episode, so even if you didn’t see the pilot, you won’t be confused! Hooray television! Skye liked Mike all along. She thinks he’s a good guy, and asks about his son. Mike admits that he has left his son in the care of his sister while he does his thing. I’m sure we’ll hear more about this later. No luck locating Poe yet, but Simmons has a possible lead on one of the Centipede soldiers, who has a living relative, a sister at the University of Ohio. Coulson and Ward decide to go talk to her.

In the lab, Simmons is taking Peterson’s measurements, and openly admiring his lean physique. Fitz is jealous, and acting like a weirdo. Peterson explains that it was the weapon developed by Fitz-Simmons which pacified the Extremis virus (I do not remember what this is! It feels like an important plot point!) in his Centipede implant and prevented him from literally becoming a human bomb. So I guess he’s not going to explode on the plane. This is also probably good news for everyone involved.

Coulson and Ward are driving to the University of Ohio in… a red convertible! Good job on avoiding the “inconspicuous” black Actionmobile, guys! Coulson tells the story of his lady friend, the cellist (who he referenced in, at least, The Avengers, if not other films) from the Portland symphony. It’s yet another thing that Coulson lost when he died, and was forced to maintain the charade of his death for months afterwards. It’s kind of a downer moment.

Aboard the plane, May and Skye meet. Skye thanks May for helping with the whole “identity of her parents” thing. May is impatient, they’re on a mission, blah blah. Skye has something related to that, too. She went through Poe’s prison record and found that he only had one visitor, a pretty girl. The girl never looks at the camera, but using S.H.I.E.L.D.’s handy-dandy lip reading program, Skye was able to reconstruct one sentence from Poe: “The clairvoyant does not like to be touched”. Whatever that means. Anyway, Skye doesn’t know who the girl is, but the timely arrival of Mike Peterson soon straightens that out: The girl’s name is Raina. She was the eponymous Girl in the Flower Dress from episode 5, and she came to Mike too, offering to change his life. That’s how he got involved in Project Centipede to begin with! Ah-hah! The game’s afoot! The pieces are falling into place!

Meanwhile, at the abandoned warehouse headquarters of Project Centipede, our man Poe is enjoying a meal. Raina shows up, they walk, they talk. The Clairvoyant cannot help them find the man Raina needs, a man who ostensibly has the key to ‘stage 3’. You know, whatever that is. She does imply that they’ve managed to stabilize the Centipede serum on their own, which is good I guess. You know, for everyone involved. Using the serum has unbelievably draining effects on their super soldiers, though, who are drinking “Gatorade” and looking completely miserable in what amounts to a full hospital setup. Raina says that they require regular injections of the serum, and that everything is made more difficult when they have to constantly run from S.H.I.E.L.D.. Poe’s solution? Let’s stop running. Also, apparently their new super soldiers have a bunch of Centipede devices, unlike the single one on Mike’s arm. This revelation is accompanied by ominous music! Let us not underestimate its meaning!

At OU, Ward approaches the sister claiming to be from the Ohio State Gaming commission, and pitches a ridiculous lottery story. Coulson explains that this is because they don’t care about the sister per se, they just want her to call her brother. She obligingly does, and gives them a location in Oakland, California. Back to the plane!

On the plane, Skye checks in on Mike, to talk about his son. They’re really playing up this ‘son’ thing. I wonder if that means it’s going to come up later in the episode? Hmm… Coulson arrives, says the time for Mike to get his second shot has now arrived! Mike suits up, in the supersuit that Fitz-Simmons sized him out for. Coulson has a plan. It involves going in quietly, two agents from either side of the facility. This time, they don’t want to just roll in and blow the place up…this time, Coulson wants answers. Of course, when the team arrives, the place is deserted. Or is it? No, it’s an ambush of course, of course! Three super soldiers against Mike Peterson, and agents Coulson, May, and Ward. Coulson manages to pop one of them with the weapon they used to take Peterson down in the pilot, but it has a minimal effect. Ward and May are outmatched by their opponent’s physical strength, though not necessarily his technique. Peterson gets a side full of metal rod, but manages to rally and downs one of the three enemy combatants, the famous (infamous? no-no-no-notorious?) Brian Hayward. With Ward and May still in fighting shape and Mike still on his feet, the other two super soldiers flee. The famous (and now, also, luckless) Hayward is executed by his masters at Project Centipede.

Speaking of Centipede, they’re looking out what was apparently a camera in Hayward’s eye. They get a blurry image of Coulson and Peterson. Poe says that the man they’re looking at is the key to the mysterious ‘stage 3’.

Aboard the plane, the gang is talking things over. Peterson is intrigued, but horrified, at the idea that the super soldiers are being controlled by Project Centipede through their ocular implants. Coulson clarifies that they were getting orders, which is why they fell back when they did. They’ve seen this eye technology before, in a former Agent named Akela Amadour (the subject of Episode 4). So the eye implant isn’t mind control, per se, just a remote execution device. Great. Coulson wants to track the eyeball tech, but Skye says that it has been refined, and the signal is now untraceable. Of course it is!

Poe and Raina are in the car. Raina wants to know more about the Clairvoyant, and Poe makes a bunch of generic threats. It adds to the running time.

Aboard the plane, Ward and May argue. She’s mad because she thinks Ward deliberately took a punch for her. He admits that while that’s true, he did it because she is faster than him, and given the physical strength of the enemy combatants, that means she needs to be up and on her feet more than he does. She reluctantly accedes to this explanation. Ward is flippant, then bounces! Skye arrives. May doesn’t feel like talking about her parents, and feels like Skye shouldn’t waste time thinking about them either. Also, she admits that Coulson doesn’t want Skye to learn ‘the truth’. Don’t worry, there’s no chance that plot is getting resolved in this episode! Skye is still upset after the encounter. Probably because May was a total bitch to her. Coulson was going to drop by for a chat, but thinks better of it when he hears sobs.

Instead, Coulson is talking to Mike Peterson, who is wounded, and says he’s going to be out of the action for a while. Coulson is concerned that Mike won’t take time out of his training even to see his son. Mike obviously is still working through some stuff from the whole ‘homicidal rampage’ incident. He wants to be able to look his son in the eye and not feel ashamed, etc. Wow, we sure are talking a lot about Mike’s son, aren’t we? Mike suggests his boy might be better off without him. Coulson disagrees. He explains that he, and others, have made the hard choice, to be part of S.H.I.E.L.D. and never have a normal life… but for Mike, it’s different. He already has a son. Man, still about the son! That’s weird.

Mike calls home to talk to his son. Raina is there!? Ominous music! How unexpected! I didn’t see this coming at all!

The bad guys have set up a meet. The trade is for Mike, in exchange for his son. They’re going to murder the boy if the team makes even one misstep, which includes armed backup, hostage rescue teams, or electronic surveillance. Fitz has a non-electronic pheromone thing or something that will let them track Mike without giving themselves away. They’re going to make the exchange as planned, and hope Mike can hang on until they come to save him.

At the meet, May wants to escort Peterson to the rendezvous. Coulson says that Mike asked him to do it, and he’s agreed. May doesn’t like it. Coulson and his desire to be on the front lines of things! Ward’s on overwatch with a high powered sniper rifle. Everyone else is in kind of a holding pattern.

At the meet, Raina tries to make small talk. For some reason, nobody likes her. Also, it turns out the arrangement was actually to trade Mike’s son Ace for Coulson. Mike decides to make a new deal. He’s got Raina by the throat, but she explains that her employer doesn’t care about her any more than about Ace. If she dies, the son dies, and they’ll have gained nothing. Coulson advises Mike not to kill her, and that he’ll go along with the trade. Mike is raw with emotions. He doesn’t know how he can look his son in the eye, etc. etc. He apologies to Coulson. The baddies stun Coulson and begin dragging him off. It’s about this time that the rest of the team starts to think something weird might be going on. May orders Ward not to take the shot, in case they simply execute Coulson in retaliation. Once Ace is safely back with the team, Mike decides to go back for Coulson. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts running back, the bridge explodes, apparently killing Mike. Well, that’s… that’s not good.

The bad guys make an exit by helicopter, firing a few shots at Agent Ward just for good measure. It’s pretty much like The Empire Strikes Back, guys.

Coda: Raina and her masters want to talk to Coulson about the day after he died. Whoa, crazy, crazy! I promise, show writers, you don’t need to be so obvious with all of your foreshadowing! Members of the audience can put things together sometimes! Many of us would not be offended!

Anyway, that’s a wrap for the first ever half-season of Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.! It has been finger-breaking work to constantly type out that acronym. I tried using some copy/paste shenanigans, but it proved to be less of a time-saver than I hoped. However, I have truly enjoyed recapping this season for you, esteemed reader. Obviously, this series is on hiatus until the show returns. Hopefully you will consent to join me on an odyssey of discovery, as we gobble up tiny bits of information about what really happened to Agent Coulson after Loki stabbed him, about the parentage of our beloved Agent Skye, and about the lifeless but technically precise sex being enjoyed by Agents May and Ward! Also Fitz-Simmons will probably be involved! Til then, Happy Holidays, esteemed readers.