Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.7 “High Flyer”

Posted on June 24, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, it’s helicopter time!

Episode 2.7 “High Flyer”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on November 4th, 1978)

Ponch in the air?

Not if Ponch has anything to say about it! All of the members of the Highway Patrol are apparently required to spend one day on helicopter patrol but Ponch is scared of heights. First, he pretends to have a cold. Then, he pretends to have an earache, just to discover that the helicopter has been grounded due to bad weather. Finally, the day comes when Ponch has no more excuses and the weather is clear. Ponch goes up in the air but, fortunately, being in the helicopter allows Ponch to spot the van that’s being driven by a bunch of car thieves that he and Baker have spent the entire episode chasing. To give credit where credit is due, the scene where the helicopter chases a thief in a stolen car is genuinely well-shot and exciting to watch. Fortunately, the thief managed to drive some place where no one else was around so the helicopter could then fly way too close to the ground and do a whole bunch of ludicrously dangerous stunts. I’m kind of surprised no one died to be honest.

While Ponch dealt with his fear of flying, Baker dealt with Kim (Cynthia Bain), the teenage daughter of his neighbor, Carol (Mary Louise Weller). After having a fight with her mother, Kim decided to just move into Baker’s apartment. Realizing that Kim had a bit of a crush, Ponch and Baker recruited Sindy Cahill — the only female member of the Highway Patrol who has spent the entire season demanding to be taken seriously — to pretend to be Baker’s girlfriend. Heart-broken, Kim returned home. That was a really terrible ending for what, until that point, had actually been a well-acted look at teen angst and first crushes. Weller, Bain, and Larry Wilcox were all giving sensitive performances so it’s a bit unfortunate that it was all just a set-up for another “Let’s-Demean-Cahill” moment.

So, this episode was not so great when it came to the human drama but it was redeemed by the helicopter action. When in doubt, toss in a helicopter.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 6/16/24 — 6/22/24

Posted on June 22, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I started out this week thinking that I was going to caught up with everything that I needed to watch and that I would be able to do a full set of Retro Television Reviews. Unfortunately, my Dad is currently having some health issues and, needless to say, most of my week ended up being consumed with that. Hopefully, next week will be better! Don’t worry — the site will be back to normal soon! The Power of Twonky compels us….

I ended up watching a lot of Degrassi which, as I’ve made clear, is my go-to comfort programming and I also watched perhaps a bit too much Dr. Phil. I watched both shows via Pluto TV and they largely served as background noise while I spent this week stressing out. The unfortunate thing about Dr. Phil on Pluto is that the episodes are somewhat randomly selected so it wasn’t uncommon for a “part one” to not be followed by “part two” or for “part two” to air without “part one.” I’m a completist so stuff like that drives me crazy.

I watched and reviewed episodes of CHiPs, Fantasy Island, Baywatch Nights, The Love Boat, and Monsters. I also watched an episode of Malibu, CA but it was so bad that I didn’t have the strength to review it. I’ll do so next week.

Finally, via Paramount Plus, I watched an old episode of the first Star Trek series on Wednesday. A creepy kid named Charlie came on the Enterprise and kept making people vanish. It was kind of easy to laugh at some of the acting of the crew members but Robert Walker, Jr. did a really good job as the bratty and neurotic Charlie.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.6 “Trick or Treat”

Posted on June 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s a Halloween episode!

Episode 2.6 “Trick or Treat”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on October 21st, 1978)

It’s Halloween in Los Angeles! That means that people will be asking for treats and playing tricks and getting into all sorts of trouble. But, for the California Highway Patrol, it’s just another day and night of trying to keep everyone safe.

Ponch’s day gets off to a bad start when he and Baker chase a van onto a movie lot. The van’s driver, it turns out, was speeding because he was transporting thirteen black cats to a film set. When Ponch and Baker finally pull over the van, the cats get loose and all 13 of them march past Ponch. Later, at headquarters, Ponch is forced by a narrow hallway to walk under a ladder. *GASP* Ponch insists that he’s not superstitious but he also won’t stop talking about his encounter with the black cats.

Ponch is in for some bad luck and it shows up in the form of an 8 year-old named Tommy who squirts Ponch with perfume while Ponch is patrolling the neighborhood. Ponch tells Tommy that playing tricks like that could lead to him getting arrested and hauled off to jail. Tommy panics and runs away from home. Guess who gets the blame for that?

That’s not all that’s going on this Halloween night. (Since this episode aired in 1978, it’s also the night that He came home.) Eddie (Bobby Van) and his girlfriend, Susan (Elaine Joyce), are holding up convenience stores. (Susan distracts the cashiers by wearing a translucent ghost costume.) An older woman (Fran Ryan) is stealing bags of candy from young trick-or-treaters. Paula (Barbara Leigh) and Karen (Jenny Sherman) are stealing speed limit signs as part of a superfun scavenger hunt. And Sgt. Getraer is determined to figure out the identity of the Hobgoblin, a member of the highway patrol who reads macabre poetry over the police radio throughout the night.

Fear not, though …. everything works out in the end. Tommy is not only found hiding out in an abandoned house but Ponch is the one who finds and rescues him. Eddie and Susan get chased and arrested after trying to pull one robbery too many. (Their van crashes as a result of two teenagers throwing eggs on the windshield. Some tricks are good, apparently.) The old woman turns out to be a distraught suburbanite who lost her engagement ring and who thinks that she may have tossed it in some kid’s trick-or-treat bag. (Fortunately, the ring is found in her candy bowl and no one presses charges.) Paula and Karen lose the scavenger hunt but they win future dates with Ponch and Baker. And Getraer figures out that Artie Grossman is the Hobgoblin. In the end, everyone smiles and laugh and that’s the important thing.

For a Halloween episode, Trick or Treat was rather low-key but that’s okay. I liked the day-in-the-life approach that the episode took and it was fun to see that even the members of the fearsome highway patrol were capable of enjoying the holiday. We should have as good a Halloween as Ponch and Baker.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/19/24 — 5/25/24

Posted on May 25, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

Okay, I’ll admit it. I was wrong. I thought last week was the finale but it turns out, the season finale was this week. And what a finale. Janine threw a party and learned a lesson about not being a control freak. Gregory finally stopped being so annoying and kissed Janine. Yay! And what’s really great is that all of this was due to the wonderful advice of Mr. Johnson, who is one of the best characters on television right now. I had some issues with this season but this finale made up for almost all of them.

Baby Reindeer (Netflix)

I watched the first episode of Netflix’s acclaimed stalking drama on Tuesday. It was undoubtedly well-made but it was coming from a bit too dark of a place for me so I haven’t watched any of other episodes yet. I’ll watch the rest of it next week.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Booked: First Day In (Hulu)

I watched a few episodes of this A&E series on Tuesday night. It follows people as they are being booked into jail. As always with these shows, the cops came across as being cocky jerks while the people being booked were far more sympathetic. I felt especially bad for the 70 year-old owner of a used car dealership who was booked for the crime of not putting some tag on the windshield of some of his cars. Seriously, if you didn’t already hate the regulatory state already….

Check It Out! (Tubi)

A mini-review of this week’s episode will be dropping in a few hours.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Sunday, I watched an episode of Dr. Phil in which Phil interviewed a woman who had coached her 4 year-old son to falsely accuse her ex-husband of being a part of a child porn ring. The man was obviously innocent and easily passed a polygraph test. In what can only be described as being a massive tell, the woman appeared to be upset at the fact that her husband was cleared of a terrible crime.

On Saturday, I watched an episode with a teenage girl who got pregnant because she wanted to be on 16 and Pregnant. Ugh. That entire episode made me want to throw something.

Fantasy Island (DVR)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

The Larry Sanders Show (Max)

Jeff and I watched a few episodes of this old HBO show on Thursday night. Rip Torn made me laugh every time he spoke. What a great actor!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Malibu CA (YouTube)

I wrote about this terrible show here!

Miami Vice (Prime)

I wrote about Miami Vice here!

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday night, Jeff & I watched an episode that profiled musician Bryan Ferry.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.5 “Neighborhood Watch”

Posted on May 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch and Baker abandon the highways and keep watch over a neighborhood.

Episode 2.5 “Neighborhood Watch”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on October 14th, 1978)

After a series of near-accidents and speeding violations occur in an upper class neighborhood, Getraer decides to take his people off the highways and instead assign then to keep an eye on one residential street. Ponch is happy because it means he gets to sit on his bike and watch all of the women who jog throughout the day. Baker is happy for presumably the same reason, though he’s noticeably less obvious about it than Ponch. To be honest, I’m surprised that Ponch hasn’t been in more accidents because he can never keep his eyes on the road.

Unfortunately, even a quiet neighborhood street has its problems. Gerald Billings (Stephen Young) is struggling, with both his marriage and with his attempts to find a new job. The first time that Baker pulls him over, it’s because Gerald is speeding and shaving in his car. The second time, it’s because Gerald is driving drunk after finding out that he has been turned down for yet another job. It’s after the second arrest that Gerald files a formal complaint against Baker.

What’s interesting is that this is the same thing that often happens to Ponch but Getraer is instantly sympathetic to Baker whereas he’s never that way when it comes to anyone trying to get Ponch in trouble. Indeed, Getraer often comes across as if he can’t wait for the day when he’ll have an excuse to fire Ponch. Don’t get me wrong. Ponch is pretty obnoxious and his behavior while on the job is often rather gauche. But it’s still pretty obvious that, for all of Ponch’s flaws, the tension between him and Getraer is personal in nature. Getraer just doesn’t like him.

As for Baker, he gets off the hook when he arrests Gerald a third time. After a drunk Gerald accidentally runs over a pedestrian and crashes his car, Gerald takes off on foot. Baker catches him and it’s pretty obvious that Gerald’s going to be heading off to jail. His complaint will be forgotten. Even if Gerald wasn’t going to jail, I’m sure Getraer would have pulled some string for his favorite motorcycle cop.

This episode’s other plotline revolved around some mischievous kids who had too much free time on their hands and almost always seemed to be doing something reckless on their skateboards. The most prominent of them was Brian (played by Robbie Rist, who previously gained infamy as Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch). Brian even buzzed Ponch and Jon with a model airplane. Realizing the kids weren’t really that bad, Ponch took them to a skate park and showed off a few of his own skateboard moves. Let’s just say that Erik Estrada was no Tony Hawk.

This episode was kind of boring. I get that the episode was showing that the Highway Patrol does good work even off the highways but the highway — and more importantly, the chance to see a fast-paced chase or a spectacular crash on the highway — is the main reason anyone would have for watching this show. Taking Ponch and Baker off the highway just feels wrong. Hopefully, they’ll be back where they belong next week!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/12/24 — 5/18/24

Posted on May 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was a week of season finales. I watched two of them.

On Wednesday, I watched the third season finale of ABC’s Abbott Elementary. While I certainly had my issues with this season, I did really enjoy the finale. Jacob tried to set up the perfect field trip and, needless to say, things did not go as planned. My favorite part of the finale was, not surprisingly, Ava standing up for her school. I know some would complain that the show is dragging out the will they/won’t they stuff with Janine and Gregory (and sometimes I get annoyed with the deliberate pace myself) but I think the show is avoiding the mistake that The Office made when it got Jim and Pam together too quickly. Janine and Gregory are destined to be together but I think, as characters, they’re more fun when they’re single.

On Thursday, I watched the season finale of NBC’s Law & Order. Together with last week’s episode, the finale erased any doubt I may have had about Tony Goldwyn as the new District Attorney. In fact, there’s a part of me that kind of wishes the Nick could somehow step down as D.A. and take over Price’s job because Goldwyn is believable and compelling on this show in a way that Hugh Dancy never has been. (Dancy is a fine actor but, as a character, Price is just too wishy washy.) Price could become second chair and Maroun, who spent the entire third season whining about having to do her job and prosecute people, could join the Public Defender’s Office.

On Thursday, I also watched Spacey Unmasked on Max. Spacey Unmasked is the latest documentary to feature people sitting on an empty soundstage and talking about how badly they were treated by a celebrity. The ten men featured in the documentary all told stories about their encounters with Kevin Spacey. Some of the men were compelling but it still felt as if the main reason this documentary was made was because Kevin Spacey is currently an easy target who really doesn’t have the resources to retaliate. I’d have more respect for a documentary that exposed someone who is currently in power as opposed to someone who is already on his way to obscurity.

On Friday and Saturday, I binged a few episodes of Seinfeld on Netflix. George obsessively wanting to tell someone that the “Jerk Store called and they’re all out of you!” was definitely the highlight of the episodes I watched. I also enjoyed Kramer turning his apartment into a talk show set.

Finally, on Friday Night, I watched an old 90s talk show called Night Music on YouTube. David Sanborn interviewed musicians and performed with them. Sting, who I usually can’t stand, performed a really good version of Ain’t No Sunshine.

Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
Check it Out! (Tubi) — My review should be dropping in about an hour!
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Fantasy Island (DVR)
Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)
Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
Malibu, CA (YouTube)
Miami Vice (Prime)
Monsters (YouTube)
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.4 “Disaster Squad”

Posted on May 13, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Ponch attacks a reporter …. or does he?

Episode 2.4 “Disaster Squad”

(Dir by Gordon Hessler, originally aired on October 7th, 1978)

In a change-of-pace for this show, it’s Officer Jon Baker who gets a girlfriend in this week’s episode. Ellen Roberts (Liberty Godshall) is a recently divorced woman with an annoying 4 year-old named Chris (Christian Zika). Because Baker doesn’t want any kids around to ruin his action, he gets Ponch to hang out with Chris. Fortunately, it turns out that Chris loves motorcycle and even owns his own mini-bike.

Impressed by how well Chris can handle his bike, Ponch enters Chris in a children’s dirt bike race. When one of the other racers knocks Chris down in the middle of the race, an angry Chris says that he’s going to hit the other racer. Ponch tells Chris to never hit anyone and he says that he’s ashamed to hear Chris speak like that. Chris promises not to ever fight.

But then, the next morning, Chris turns on the TV and sees a report about Ponch punching out an obnoxious news reporter (Harvey Jason) who got in the way while Ponch and Jon were dealing with a suicidal motorist. The anchorman (played by Regis Philbin!) then comes on TV and basically says that Ponch is the epitome of everything bad about the police. Chris starts sobbing. Ponch lied about not fighting! Chris hops on his mini-bike and, still crying, drives away.

What Chris doesn’t know is that Ponch was set up. Lee and the members of “the Disaster Squad” have been following Ponch and Baker around, filming accidents, and getting in the way. (At one point, one of Lee’s men event tosses a road flair under a car that’s leaking oil, causing an explosion.) Lee doctored the tape of an earlier confrontation with Ponch to make it appear the Ponch threatened and hit him.

But that doesn’t matter to Chris. With tears flowing down his cheeks, he drives his little motorcycle into the Los Angeles river. Fortunately, Ponch and Baker find him in time to save his life and teach him an important lesson about fake news.

This episode …. where to begin? It opened with a good chase scene and it featured a truck flipping over so that was good. But then bratty little Chris showed up and the whole episode went downhill. The child playing Chris was, to be charitable, not exactly the world’s best actor and his over-the-top reaction to seeing Ponch hit someone was bit too silly to inspire anything other than a chuckle. “Ponch said never to hit anyone!” Chris wails. Well, kid, Ponch is a damn hypocrite. Sorry.

It was all pretty silly. Baker finally got to do something other than gaze at Ponch in amazement but, in the end, the story was still pretty much Ponch-centered. One thing I noticed about this episode is that Getraer had absolutely no sympathy for Ponch, even though he believed Ponch was being set up. Seriously, I get that Getraer has a lot to deal with but does he have to be a jerk all the time?

Next week …. Ponch and Baker continue to keep California safe!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/5/24 — 5/11/24

Posted on May 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Abbott Elementary (Wednesday Night, ABC)

This Abbott Elementary Mother’s Day episode was sweet and funny. No, Janine, Kevin Hart is not your father.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will be dropping shortly.

CHiPs (Freevee)

I wrote about ChiPs here!

Coronation Street (Hulu)

On Tuesday, I watched two episodes of Coronation Street on Hulu. They were both from January of this year. Bethany returned home! I have no idea who Bethany is or who anyone else on this show is but I still found it interesting to watch. Maybe I just miss London. Due first to the pandemic lockdowns and now to the way that anti-Semitism is spreading its shadow across Europe, it’s been a while since Jeff & I last visited.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Monday morning, I watched a really sad two-parter in which Phil talked to an old widow named Kaye who had basically become so enthralled by a catfish that she gave him the password to her bank account. Kaye’s daughter tried to tell Kaye that her online boyfriend was a fake but Kaye was very angry and would not listen. I felt terrible for her and her family.

On Tuesday, I rewatched the episode with the woman who was convinced that she was married to Tyler Perry, despite having never met him before. Dr. Phil, of course, took time to point out that he knows Tyler Perry and is apparently one of his best friends. Dr. Phil knows everyone! I followed this up with an episode featuring a man who thought he was engaged to a Kennedy cousin named Misty. Not surprisingly, there is no Kennedy named Misty.

On Friday and Saturday, I watched too many episodes. Most of them were about feuding in-laws.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

On Tuesday evening, I watched last week’s episode of Law & Order and I have to say that I groaned a bit when I saw it was going to be yet another episode about a murder involving a wealthy family. There’s a lot that I have liked about this season but I’m a bit bored with every episode revolving around the same generic wealthy characters. Not every case has to be a society scandal. That said, last week’s episode did feature some interesting twists and turns and personally, I think the jury made the right decision. Overall, it was a good episode though, once again, we had to spend some time listening to Maroun whine about having to do her job.

On Friday, I watched this week’s episode. The defendant was an ex-con who had previously been given a lenient plea deal by Nolan Price. Because of Price’s involvement, Baxter took over as lead prosecutor on the case and demoted Price to second chair. This not only kept Maroun out of the courtroom and minimized her involvement in the episode (yay!) but it also gave Baxter a chance to show off his abilities. The great thing about this episode is that Price finally got called out for being so wishy-washy and self-righteous.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Malibu, CA (YouTube)

I wrote about Malibu, CA here!

Miami Vice (Freevee)

I wrote about Miami Vice here.

Monsters (YouTube)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Snub (Night Flight Plus)

On Friday, I watched a bunch of music videos from 1987. It was fun!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.3 “Family Crisis”

Posted on May 6, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, a Partridge leads a Brady into a life of crime!

Episode 2.3 “Family Crisis”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on September 30th, 1978)

Tired of being confined to a police car, Officer Sindy Cahill (Brianne Leary) cannot wait to graduate from motor school so that she can become the Highway Patrol’s first female bike cop. She’s so eager for the job that, when she’s off-duty, she rides around Los Angeles on a motor scooter and occasionally even makes an arrest. Most of the other motorcycle cops are skeptical about Sindy …. because she’s a woman. But Ponch is supportive of Sindy’s ambition …. because she’s a woman who he likes to look at. Ponch spends the majority of this episode standing behind Sindy and leering.

A fancy black Trans Am has been stolen from a movie set and it is being used in a series of robberies. The thieves have made no effort to disguise the car. They didn’t even bother to paint over the very noticeable green racing stripe that, in theory, would make impossible for them to drive around without being spotted. However, it doesn’t matter because the car is so fast and it can do so many fun movie tricks (like covering the street in smoke and oil) that no one can stop it. Sindy has come up with a plan to catch the thieves but Getraer doesn’t want to hear it and we all know why. In fact, when Sindy crashes her car while chasing the thieves, Getraer tells her that she needs to get checked out by the doctors before she goes back on duty. “If I was a man, you’d let me right back out on the street!” Sindy snaps. Sindy knows that Getraer is treating her differently …. because she’s a woman!

Fortunately, Getraer’s boss somehow finds a copy of Sindy’s plan and he decides that it’s brilliant. With both the LAPD and the Highway Patrol working together, they manage to ambush and corner the Trans Am on the Los Angeles docks. The two thieves push the wrong button in the car and they end up getting ejected from their seats and landing in the ocean. Baker and Ponch share a laugh while the two men probably drown.

The two nameless thieves are not the only ones stealing cars. Fred (Danny Bonaduce), a high school senior, is also stealing cars and — oh no! — he’s convinced his friend Wes (Christopher Knight) to go joyriding with him. What Fred didn’t count on was Wes being the nephew of Officer Jon Baker. Baker isn’t going to let anyone corrupt his nephew. When Ponch and Baker eventually catch Fred and Wes and their girlfriends in a stolen car, they put the handcuffs on everyone, even though only Fred is going to be charged with a felony. Baker tells Wes that he put the handcuffs on him to show him where his life is heading. Wes thanks his Uncle Jon and hopefully, he’s learned an important lesson about why the Bradys didn’t hang out with the Partridges.

Finally, Ponch has finally moved out of his RV and into a swinging new apartment! He’s got a view of the pool, so he’s happy. Good for him.

This episode …. actually, this episode wasn’t that bad. I liked Sindy because, if i was waiting to find out if I was going to be a motorcycle cop, I would probably ride around on a motor scooter too. And having Danny Bonaduce leading Christopher Knight astray appealed to me as a student of pop culture. There were some nice chase scenes. The Trans Am was cool. The California scenery was lovely. It was a fun episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.2 “The Volunteers”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we’ve got ourselves a convoy!

Episode 2.2 “The Volunteers”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 23rd, 1978)

After a high-speed chase causes a robbery suspect to crash his car into a chemical storage facility (which subsequently explodes), three truckers have to get their trucks full of chlorine gas to the next available facility. Unfortunately, it’s a 170-mile drive over rough terrain and it’s a very hot day. If the gas gets to hot, it’ll explode. If It doesn’t get to the storage facility in time, it’ll explode. In fact, it appears that just about anything can make chlorine gas explode. Californians might love chlorine for their pool but they don’t want it in the air.

Getraer assigns Ponch, Baker, Baricza, and Jane Turner to escort the trucks to the facility. Jane Turner (Rana Ford) is a new member of the highway patrol. She drives a squad car and she’s the first woman and only the second black person who we’ve seen working for the highway patrol on this show. She doesn’t really do much in this episode and, about halfway through, she breaks off from the main group to help deal with a highway pile-up. For that matter, Getraer and Baricza end up vanishing as well. As usual, it’s all on Ponch and Baker.

Despite the danger of a chemical spill killing the population of Los Angeles county, Ponch spends most of this episode trying to get laid. The episode opens with him leering at a jogging stewardess (Anna Upstrom) and then bragging about how he has a date with her later that night.

“She doesn’t smoke, drink, or dance,” Ponch says.

“What are you two going to do?” Baker earnestly asks.

Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins.

But Ponch is soon distracted by one of the truck drivers, a woman named Robbie Davis (Katherine Cannon), who is quick to yell that not only can she drive a truck but she can vote as well. Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins. Baker gets in on the action by saying, “Prettiest little truck driver I’ve ever seen.”

Robbie’s father (Tige Andrews) and the other trucker (Sam Brodie) all totally think Robbie should hook up with Ponch but they’re still amused when, late in the episode, Ponch accepts a ride from a blonde in a convertible. Ponch arches and eyebrow and grins as he gets in the car. WE GET IT, PONCH!

It’s not easy transporting chlorine gas. Along with rough desert terrain, there’s also a group of beer-drinking rednecks who drive by in a pickup truck and threaten to shoot one of the tanks. All of that drunk driving leads to another multi-car pile-up. For some reason, one of the vehicles in the pile-up was transporting a tiger, which promptly gets loose and enters a grocery store. Ponch and Baker grab raw meat from the butcher’s station and use it to trick the tiger into entering an office. After they shut the door, the owner of the store yells at them for wasting meat. There’s also a town puts up a roadblock to keep the trucks from coming through because they don’t want chlorine gas getting into the air. And then there’s an avalanche, which causes chlorine gas to leak out of Robbie’s truck, sending her to the hospital.

Considering everything that happens in this episode, it’s odd that it all feels rather boring. The best episodes of CHiPs focus on fast motorcycles and beautiful scenery. This episode featured slow-moving trucks and the desert. Bleh. I hate the desert. This episode also featured a lot of interaction between Robbie, her father, and their friend. In fact, they were so prominently featured that it wouldn’t surprise me if this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a trucking show. (This episode aired in 1978, which was a big year for trucker movies.) But the Davis family just wasn’t that interesting.

This episode didn’t really capture my attention. Hopefully, next week will see a return of fast bikes and nice scenery.