Film Review: A Tale of Two Coreys (dir by Steven Huffacker)


I just finished watching Lifetime’s first “big” film of the year, A Tale of Two Coreys, and I am probably just as shocked as anyone to say, “It wasn’t bad.”

In fact, I would even say that it was pretty good.

Shocking, I know.

A Tale of Two Coreys, of course, is a film about the tumultuous friendship between actors Corey Haim and Corey Feldman.  They were stars in the 80s and outcasts by the 90s.  They were infamous for their struggles with drugs and all the other demons that come with being famous at a young age.  Eventually, Feldman ended up in the direct-to-video dungeon while Haim found himself essentially unemployable.  Somewhat inevitably, they eventually found themselves reunited via reality television.  Corey Haim died in 2010, at the age of 38.  After his death, Feldman announced that, at the height of their stardom, both he and Haim were victimized by Hollywood pedophiles.

Over the past few years, Lifetime has aired several celebrity biopics and a few “unauthorized” movies about the behind-the-scenes drama on TV shows like Saved By The Bell, Full House, and Beverly Hills 90210.  With the exception of the 90210 movie, none of them have been particularly memorable.  Too often, they promised the “true story,” just to deliver a watered down version of what everyone already knew.  Combine that with some questionable casting choices and you’ll understand why veteran Lifetime watches often roll their eyes when Lifetime announces another celebrity biopic.

Somehow, A Tale of Two Coreys manages to escape the Lifetime biopic curse.

Now, just to make clear,  A Tale Of Two Coreys does not name names.  There’s a scene in which a Hollywood executive leads Corey Haim (played, as a teenager, by Justin Ellings) into a trailer but the man is never identified by name and the scene is shot in such a way that we don’t even get a clear look at his face.  Later, both Feldman (played, as a teen, by Elijah Marcano) and Haim discuss some of the new “friends” that they’ve acquired since becoming stars.  Again, no names are dropped but it’s not hard to read between the lines.  It’s not until they’re adults and reality show co-stars that Feldman (now played by Scott Bosely) and Haim (Casey Leach) discuss what happened to them when they were younger.

Of course, famous people do pop up throughout the film.  Brandon Howard plays Michael Jackson in two scenes.  Jennifer Peo plays Carrie Fisher, who is seen telling Feldman to get off the drugs.  If you watch carefully, an actor playing Tom Hanks shows up in the background of one scene.  He doesn’t get any lines but he certainly does get annoyed with Feldman.

The film continually returns to the theme that both Feldman and Haim were, essentially, dropped into the middle of Hollywood without any supervision.  Feldman’s parents (Ashley Scott and Patrick Muldoon) are portrayed as being leeches, more concerned with the money that Feldman could bring than Feldman’s mental or emotional health.  On the other hand, Haim’s parents (Paula Lindberg and Brian Huskey) are portrayed as being loving but hopelessly naive about the world that their son has entered.  The end result is that neither set of parents were there to provide any sort of guidance to their children.

It’s a deeply melancholy portrait of fame with Haim and Feldman quickly going from being innocent children to jaded, coke-snorting adolescents to eventually becoming adults who still haven’t come to terms with past.  Admittedly, their stardom was a little before my time so I can’t really attest as to whether the film is a hundred percent accurate but director Steven Huffacker kept the story moving at a steady and tragically inevitable pace and all four of the actors who played Feldman and Haim did a good job of bringing their characters to life.

All in all, it was a surprisingly good film.

People of Earth, Season 1 Episode 10; Snake Man and Little Guy


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Gentle Readers, this has been a sad year.  We lost so many great artists from David Bowie to Carrie Fisher, we had a sickening election year, and it seems like 2016 itself has anthropomorphized into a evilly sapient entity bent upon death and misery.  There has never been a time more critical for a good…no great comedy/drama- People of Earth is that show.  This show has made me laugh and sometimes brought me to no kidding emotional moments.

The writing is amazingly quick and sharp.  There are true – No Shit Legit geniuses working in their Writers’ Room, but that would fall flat without the vaudevillian levels of perfect timing and delivery of the cast.  I knew that Oscar Nunez, Ana Gasteyer, H Jon Benjamin, Brian Huskey, and Wyatt Cynac would deliver great drama and comedy, but the deep newcomer talent stood alone and improved upon the ensemble: Da’vine Joy, Daniel Sherman, Bjorn Gustafsson, Nancy Lenehan, Tracee Chimo, Ken Hall, Alice Wetterlund, Debra McCabe, and Luka Jones all provided excellent performances that were believable, funny, and pulled you into their world.

There was one actor that brought no kidding teary eyed moments: Michael Cassidy.  I saw him on Smallville and bit parts, but on People of Earth, he delivered powerful performances week after week.  Watch this man because you’re seeing the next Tom Hanks.  The obvious casting would be for action roles, but if he’s judicious and picks roles that let him push his drama and comedy chops, the next Tom Hanks he shall be.  You read it here first!

Cold Open: LOTR-G confesses that he hasn’t worked in months, is in love with a subject, and will shave his head (pick the lie). Scroty won’t hear it because he’s about to consummate his revenge again Gina using Nancy as his weapon.   Scary!  Ozzie shows up and Scroty wants to kill them both.  LOTR-G subtly turns off the wifi, thwarting Scroty from his double homicide.  It’s pretty awesome that it’s just a wifi router that could’ve been bought at a Walgreens! AWESOME!  Ozzie shows Gina the drawings of him with his lizard friend.

Chelsea calls her husband on the way back from the concert and hears him with another woman, poising her for revenge sex with Father Doug.

Richard is on the side of the road and gets picked up by Margaret who tries to explain that Nancy is just not that into him, but it falls upon deaf ears.

Jonathan is eating cheap food with Officer Glimmer and we learn: Officer Glimmer is NOT an alien just a dead beat lousy gambler who sold out to Aliens!!!  LOTR-G approaches and tells Jonathan that Scroty’s going to kill subjects (Ozzie and Gina).  Jonathan is visibly upset and goes to Ozzie’s rescue!

Ozzie and Gina are at the burger shack and decide to use hard-core therapy to get his memories out. Gina discloses that the last time she used this therapy it led to her patient’s death.  They push forward anyway.

Jonathan confronts Nancy.  It triggers his memory.  He enters the shop and heads to the employees only door.  The memory stops.  Gina makes him go to the door.

LOTR-G is about to break up with Kelly, but instead they follow their hearts to Iceland. I’ve considered visiting Iceland, but I can be bored locally. Take that Iceland! SLAM! That’s right, that burn was cold …. as Ice! ICELAND YOU’VE BEEN FREEZER BURNED!!!

Jonathan tries to reason with Scroty that killing subjects is against the rules. Scroty insists that the rules don’t apply because the Main Ship is coming.  They fight. Ahem: Scroty Man, Scroty Man, doing the things a Scroty can. What’s he like? Kind of a dick, Scroty Man. Scroty Man meets Jon-a-than, they have a fight Jon-a-than wins, Jon-a-than. [Sung] 

Father Doug is practicing his keyboard and Chelsea arrives.  She explains that her marriage is over.  She throws herself at him and he catches it.

Richard arrives at Gina’s and sees Jonathan and Nancy fighting.  Jonathan tries to reason with Scroty that he knows that he was in love with Kurt.  It doesn’t go well.  Scroty can’t handle Kurt’s death let alone that he was in love with a man.

Ozzie goes to the Employees Only Door, Gina distracts the store owner, and Ozzie bursts into the room.  FLASH! Ozzie remembers his young self walking into the Employees only room years ago seeing the Reptilians in the back- some propose to kill him and Jonathan stops them. They respond like the serious yet lighthearted corporate frat guys I went to school with and still think of fondly of saying – Louis, I gotta say this one’s on you.  Jonathan prevents them from killing Ozzie and convinces them to take him to the ship.  Officer Glimmer finds Ozzie and arrests him.

Gerry is on his way to a date with Joy and his pulled into bailing out Ozzie and Gina.  He wants Gerry to help him, but he’s all about insurance now.

Chelsea is trying to convince Father Doug that it’s okay that she likes him.  Father Doug is trying to hold back.

Richard continues to watch Nancy and Jonathan fight.  Jonathan wins, but Nancy’s self-destruct activates.

Gina hypnotizes Ozzie. They are on the ship and all of the Starcrossed member are being catalogued on the ship as children including GINA…DUN DUN DUN!!!

Jonathan is missing part of his face and it appears that both Richard and Jonathan might’ve been killed in the blast.  *sniff*

The Main Ship docks and…..Scroty doesn’t recognize them at all.

Jonathan is rebooting Nancy and she recounts the Starcrossed members’ names and it’s confirmed that they were all abducted as children.

SONG:  The songs on this series are awesomeballs! EG:

Chelsea and Father Doug get it on.

Richard is found by Gina and Ozzie.  Ozzie learns that Jonathan is an Alien, LOTR-G and Kelly go to Iceland, Joy is stood up, and Gerry is abducted!!! CRAZYTOWN!!!

There’s also a hilarious post-credit clip!!

Great Show!

 

unicornlives

 

People of Earth, Season 1 Episode 9, Lost and Found


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Open: Richard and Robot Nancy are on a date; however, Scroty is controlling Nancy’s reactions and movements (Descartes would have a field day with this episode).  They have an awkward kiss and we learn that Scroty likes Ayn Rand.  Scroty continues to ask questions about Gina and it occurs to Richard that Nancy is jealous and The One.  Scroty resolves to hunt Gina down and kill her.

Ozzie is having food with his mom and needs to get critical documents, leading him to go to his father’s place.

Chelsea visits Father Doug.  Father Doug is getting the band back together… by an Outlet Mall! Chelsea is crushing on him big time!

Gerry is selling insurance … rather well.

Starcrossed is a shambles: they meet at the furniture store and a barn.  The barn is the Last Straw (wakka wakka wakka)! They disband.

Jonathan sees LOTR-G and is shocked that he’s working at a coffee shop.  LOTR-G is really sweet and reminds me of people I knew in Vermont: quiet, in touch with their feelings, and salt of the earth types.  Jonathan gets LOTR-G to give him a free coffee and his tips.

Ozzie visits his father who’s into buddhism for now.   His father is a slob who keeps important documents in garbage bags.  Ozzie finds a photo of him on a drug store horse ride, triggering a Beacon memory and a family meeting.

Father Doug is playing at the lounge and Chelsea show and groupies big time. It’s sweet.

Ozzie’s parents explains that they lost him at the grocery store.  He describes a lizard person and they give him many drawings of him with this Lizard Man friend (Jonathan). In the past, Ozzie had gone into the back room and sees all of the Reptilians, including Jonathan (lizard Jonathan).

Chelsea goes to Father Doug’s motel room that he’s staying at for his gig and they pork.  It’s very human.  This show really knows how to balance the drama with the comedy.

We close with Gina enjoying a glass of wine while Nancy is lying in wait in the closet.  Scary!

No awesome song this week, but a good episode in any case.

unicornlives

People of Earth; Season 1 Episode 7, Last Day on Earth


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People of Earth is usually 80/20- Comedy/Drama; however, this particular episode was full-on tug at your heartstrings 80/20 Drama/Comedy.  If not done well, this switch can undermine or derail a show, but Norm Hiscock  (writer) really delivered something unique and tenderhearted.  In fact, I’ve been thinking about his episode for most of the time since I watched it.  You begin thinking that the story will be all about Jerry saying goodbye; instead, Norm gives us an episode about love, family, and basic human… even tribal bonds.

When I first learned screenwriting, my teacher made me make list all of the things that would worry a caveman.

I responded: finding a mate, a bad king, predators, and natural disasters.

He responded: SEE!

Then, he wrote on the board “When Harry Met Sally”, “Nixon”, “Predator”, and “Day After Tomorrow”.  “We are moved by movies because they tap into our genetic fears and desires.”

This episode did that for me.

We open with Gerry telling Ozzie about a clear pattern of abductions that all occur at a specific area and he wants to be the next in the line.  This abduction will be permanent because no one ever returned when they were taken at this time.  Gerry states that he has quit his job and Ozzie shows concern for this, but Gerry is determined to be a full-fledged Starcrossed member, even though it means never returning to Earth.

Gerry cleans himself up and does A LOT of grooming, including an abundance of nail clipping.  Then, he packs a Go Bag and with his “Family Photo”- it’s a selfie-stick shot of him with the Starcrossed group.  This shows a clear, visual example of familial/tribal love.

Gerry’s determined to tell Yvonne his feelings, but chickens out.  This is the emotional and physical love.

Coffeehouse: Kelly visits LOTR-Guy at his coffeehouse.  Kelly tries to apologize and LOTR-Guy shuts her down with an apology on behalf of all men because he was a nosy-pants and male privilege something.  Kelly is now all over LOTR-Guy like a Today’s Man Suit.

Ozzie follows up on a lead about Senator Pelosi’s connection to Glint and how Jonathan suppressed stories at Glint.  My favorite: This Privileged American Life – Ira Glass.  If you’ve never heard This American Life, you should, BUT be prepared to become depressed.  “However, this shouldn’t matter because happiness is a lie we tell ourselves so we can wake up everyday.” Just kidding, Ira never said this because he’s much more upbeat than I am.  

Nancy overhears that Ozzie is getting close to uncovering the conspiracy.  Jonathan is ordered to get a donut.. again.  Jonathan tries to stall and arranges a lunch with Ozzie.

Gerry says goodbye to Richard and gives him all of his alien research.

The Lunch: Jonathan tries to bully Ozzie using the carrot and stick technique formerly used by Henry Kissinger.  The Stick: Jonathan threatens to expose/discredit Ozzie for being a member of “Space Losers”.  The Carrot: “Brews Skettah”.  It fails.  Jonathan shall eat his “Brews Skettah” all alone.   Michael Cassidy has some real drama chops.  He should consider some drama or Jason Bourne-ish action movie stuff.  What was great about this scene is that when Jonathan is saying “After all that I’ve done for you” He means it literally because he helped raise and protect Ozzie since he was a child, explaining why Jonathan has empathy unlike his purely Reptilian counterpart Nancy.  This hammers home the fatherly love that Jonathan has for Ozzie and this was shown in previous episodes wherein he gives Ozzie veggie drinks and mentoring.

Gerry goes to Yvonne’s house and he nearly chickens out, but Yvonne helps him along and they make sweet love.  However, he still wants to try to get abducted and say goodbye for good.

The Date:  LOTR-Guy is REALLY in touch with his feelings.  They try to dance and it’s awesome.  It reminded me so much of the dancing I saw at clubs in Europe … like seizures. Kelly shows a protective and physical love for LOTR-Guy by trying to get him to assert himself in many different ways.  At one point, a waiter spills a drink on him and he goes beyond Canadian levels of politeness, saying that “I was sitting way too close to the spill.” She pushes him to insist on getting the drinks for free and owning it! Boom! It’s awesome.

The Donut:  The Alien Overlord orders Jonathan to pick a weapon to use to kill Ozzie.  Jonathan doesn’t want to and he remembers being on the Ship with Young Ozzie.  He comforts Ozzie when he’s scared and promises him that he won’t hurt him.  Michael really delivers this scene well.  He knows how to play the silence without dragging it. Good beat.  Jonathan chooses the gun and it’s hard to watch.

Jonathan goes to Ozzie’s hovel.  I won’t lie – I gasped a little, when he reached in his coat pocket and was relieved when he pulled out a jumpdrive.  Jonathan gives Ozzie the proof he needs confessing how he suppressed stories.  This is an obvious act of fatherly love and has improved Ozzie’s life.  Jonathan, like all good Dads, with his mission of pushing his son forward complete, takes a step back and sets him free to succeed or fail without him.

Yvonne and Gerry are in bed and she gives him a lift to the abduction location, even though this may be their last time together; it’s very sweet.  H. Jon Benjamin provides some comic relief along the way.

Kelly forces LOTR-Guy to be empowered and self-confidant.  There’s just love burgeoning everywhere in this episode.

Donut Part 2:  The Overlord is furious and wants to kill Jonathan and Ozzie.  Jonathan thwarts this by revealing that there is a code he needs to enter every 12 hours or their lizard plan will be published worldwide.  Jonathan flashes to when he and Young Ozzie were on the ship and Ozzie made him a drawing of them holding hands like father and son. He puts on a brave front, but leaves the meeting with some fear and pain on his face because he has left his family to save his adoptive son Ozzie, but in doing so, he will be forever alone.

Gerry gets to the abduction site…..and they never come.

Once again, the near credits delivers an amazing song that presented what could’ve worked as the scenes for the series finale.  Not a bad song, not Kmala my Friend or the Ship song from earlier episodes, but a solid – not bad.

We see Ozzie’s article with a big picture of Jonathan as a story suppressor, ruining him forever. Jonathan packs up his things from his office and says goodbye to his moving desk.

The group stares at Gerry’s empty chair and is relieved when he returns, completing their tribe.  They console him for not getting abducted, but he states sheepishly and in love, “It wasn’t all bad.” *sniff*

LOTR-Guy returns to the ship all swagger.  It’s pretty badass.  Scroty shows him respect for the first time and informs him that the Main Ship is coming.  We also learn that Gerry would’ve been abducted if LOTR-Guy had been at his post.

BOOM!

unicorny

People of Earth, Unexplained; Season 1 Episode 5; ALT Title: I.T. Phone Home


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This episode is all about do it yourself IT.  For MAC readers, IT means information technology and there are people who are highly paid to resolve problems with Windows because it sucks.  Now, Windows charges you a subscription fee!!!! Fuckers!

LOTR-Guy is cataloging his experiences meeting with humans.  Humans, being solipsistic pieces of shit,  only want to have him participate in things that they like.  However, one human was different: Kelly!  She wanted to know what LOTR-Guy was into and this reminiscence causes LOTR-Guy to get all moony over her.

We learn that Ozzie has a chip implant, which if properly rebooted will wipe his pesky flashbacks.  Scroty takes it upon himself to fix the chip and wipe Ozzie’s memory, but this being People of Earth, he’s aggressively incompetent.  Scroty is short with LOTR-Guy saying that he should look for Kurt’s killer and so LOTR-Guy goes to earth.  Meanwhile, Scroty continues to blunder through the computer that’s linked to Ozzie’s brain, causing terrible hallucinations for Ozzie.

At the church, Chelsea builds a deeper relationship with Father Doug.  He suggests that she goes to a bible study class and she declares it a date.  The bible study is for children and it’s an awesome disaster!

LOTR-Guy is walking around town and sees Kelly hanging in a coffee shop.  He thinks, Kelly likes coffee, I like Kelly, I will work at that coffee shop, and I will be around Kelly. You just gotta love these dopey aliens.

At Starcrossed, Kelly laments that her boyfriend says – Oregon like OR A GONE.  This is a real dealbreaker for Pacific Northwesterners.  It’s Or uh gun.  The other big NO NO for PNWs is to bitch about the rain. Rain is our jam! In fact, it’s the first thing you think of when you think of the PNW.   Richard hilariously says, We don’t say – A LAB BUH MA.  Ozzie’s hallucinations and brain functions worsen and he sees all of the group is dressed like him complete with beards!

Ozzie goes to the hospital and they xray his head and see a metal disc and they seek to remove it.  All the while, Scroty is coming closer to wiping Ozzie’s memory.  Just as he’s about to finish wiping, they remove the disc.

LOTR-Guy is spying on Kelly and she breaks up with Mr. OR A GONE.  LOTR-GUY brings Kelly a sympathy coffee and she gives him the finger for eavesdropping and he innocently gives it back to her.

Father Doug patches things up with Chelsea, describing Mary as being brave and woman of faith for holding to her beliefs even though people were incredulous that she was a virgin mother.

Scroty turns to Jon because the chip is in human hands and it’s hilarious! Jon sends Reptile-Lady to retrieve the chip.  A child ends up taking the chip and gets away.

Starcrossed- Ozzie is not entirely convinced that it was aliens who put a chip in his head, but oh well.

We see the child playing with the chip and he shines a light through it and we see a deer head!

This was another great episode.  The only critique is that the closing song was just not great or even good.

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People of Earth, Acceptance-Season 1 Episode 3; ALT Title: WHAAAA?!!!


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This is not typical for me: there is a show without fault.  There have been two brilliant works to premiere in 2016! 2016 has gotten a lot of shit, but I can’t see how it’s that different from any other year.  People died and we elected a rich racist old white guy as President -seems pretty par for the shitty course. Don’t get me wrong; I’m furious, but not surprised that people chose a POS last Tuesday. This is part of the reason why People of Earth is great; there’s a sense of universal mediocrity that we all deal with everywhere.  The hero is in a haze of discontent and mediocrity even before the aliens get to him and the aliens are a mixture of petty and incompetent.  The show posits a comfortable universal mediocrity.  We aren’t unique with having annoying coworkers or a douchebag boss or shitty job- this is just life: UNIVERSAL… EVERYWHERE.  As they told me in the Army: Embrace the Suck!

This episode deals with divorce.  Divorce sucks.   Imagine a break up, but it’s uncertain for the first time in your life what is yours and if you’ll ever be loved by another human being again for free, not that prostitutes don’t have feelings or negotiable rates… wait…. where was I?  In this context, People of Earth explores the painfully banal human concept of divorce with the backdrop of the extraordinary story of slow-moving alien domination.

Open: Ozzie is having dreams about the Lizard alien who is almost certainly Jon teaching him how to use a toy train and he wakes in a cold sweat.

Current day: Jon gets the news from Archer’s VO Guy AVOG that Kurt is dead.  Scroty prepares himself with an almost eye-roll for LOTR-Guy’s Hilarious 5 stages of grief in under 30 seconds. It’s awesome.

The Group:  Richard reveals to the group that he was served divorce papers and ordered to mediation.  He reminisces to an idyllic past and camping trip that was the site of their abduction.  He’s convinced the divorce papers are in fact a lizard alien plot of some kind. Ozzie tries to bring Richard back to earth that these are in fact divorce papers, but he’s not ready.  Gina demands that Ozzie partner with Richard and guide him through this ordeal.

B Story: Gerry is out of jail.

The Mothership:  Scroty is suppressing his feelings, comparing Kurt’s not working to LOTR-Guy’s not working because they’re both….dead weight.  WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! Anywho, LOTR-Guy is trying to get Scroty to express his grief; it doesn’t work.

B Story:  Gerry finds the Kurt-alien outline on the asphalt and Joy finds Gerry.  They chat and discern that it was likely a lizard death because of the acid blood that damaged the asphalt AND that a city official must have covered it up! The more important part of the scene was the burgeoning love between Gerry and Joy, which is a perfect counterweight to the A-Story where two signatures clearly define love’s end.

A Story- Mediation:  Richard goes on about Aliens and his soon to be ex loses it.  He agrees to sign it, but uses a fake name.

Richard’s Ex pursues him to the meeting and we learn that their marriage sucked before, she remembers the abduction, and used to be a member of Starcrossed!  WHAAAAAAA?!!! Richard leans on Ozzie and agrees to sign the papers.  Once again, something has died, but a friendship is born.

The Mothership:  LOTR-Guy gets Scroty to deal with his grief, but Scroty gets to the anger step …. and stays there.  He scans Kurt’s lifeless mind and sees Gina’s bumper sticker and vows revenge.

Ozzie flashes back to his youth and his dad was JON!!! WHAAAAA?!

Once again- A badass song! Wall of Voodoo- Ring of Fire:

People of Earth – Pilot, Season 1, Episode 1 – Review by


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People of Earth is the amazingly quick-witted and fast paced comedy show that you better watch or ALL of the unicorns will die… especially the cute baby unicorns- they’ll die first!

I was primed to like this show more than a 50% discount on Blue Jays tickets.  The comedy cast is overflowing with known national treasures: Wyatt Cynac, Ana Gasteyer, Brian Huskey, and Oscar Nunez, but is blessed with new talent who have quick comedic timing that matches perfectly with the snappy dialogue.  In short, this is NOT a show to knit to, tweet during, or otherwise be distracted by when watching; so, take your adderall and focus because this show is NO SHIT LEGIT!  SIDE NOTE: I’m seriously thinking about getting on the adderall bandwagon; weight loss inducing intellectual steroids sound pretty fucking awesome to me!

The pilot begins with Ozzie (Wyatt Cynac) having a nightmare about hitting a deer in Beacon, New York with a deer behind him saying, “Don’t get weird, but you’re about to hit a deer” and he wakes in a sweat.  He’s on assignment to Beacon to investigate a UFO Abductee support group.

At the support group, we learn that there are three types of Aliens: Reptilians, Whites (who look like Lord of the Rings Elf People), and Greys (who look like scrotums).  Also, we learn that the jokes fly fast.  The group therapy scenes are the heart of the sitcom.  The jokes play off of one another brilliantly!

Ozzie finishes his alien support group article and goes to his boss Jonathan Walsh (Michael Cassidy) in New York City who basically runs a Buzzfeedish clickbait listicle mill.  His boss doesn’t get humor and speaks in business school-ease at all times like a young Mitt Romney.  Jonathan wants Ozzie to return Upstate to Beacon and learn more about the people in the support group.

Upon returning to Beacon, Ozzie discovers that the abductees all have boring jobs or don’t work.  Ozzie learns about the abductions and that their stories are similar.  However, there are two people who don’t share abduction stories: the group leader Gina and Gerry who has never made contact with an alien, but wishes that he did.  There have been some reviewers who think this points to these two or either being aliens, but I don’t know or care because their delivery is fucking great and I don’t want to go down that rabbit hole.  Ozzie realizes that his nightmares match the stories that he is hearing.

Ozzie believes that HE was abducted.  Ozzie becomes furious when he discovers that his boss published his draft article about the group with their REAL names, causing Ozzie to quit his job with Buzzfeedish.  He decides to explore his abduction memories and takes a job in Beacon at the local paper.

The show ends with us learning that Jonathan is a Reptilian – DUN DUN DUN.

ROLL HILARIOUS CREDITS!

There are aliens on the mothership above earth being hysterical.  The funniest and snarkiest alien is the scrotum looking whom I shall call Scroty on the show he’s named Jeff, but Scroty is more apt.

This show is THE funniest show on television.  Period.  Remember, if you don’t watch, ALL the unicorns will die!

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