Horror Review: Horror Express (dir. Eugenio Martin)


There was one film I saw when I was very young that absolutely terrified me, and even now, decades later, it still has the power to unsettle me and rob me of sleep. That film is Horror Express, a 1972 Spanish-British horror/science fiction hybrid directed by Eugenio Martín. It brought together two titans of gothic horror cinema, Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing—icons of the Hammer Films era—while also featuring Telly Savalas in a sadistic, scene-stealing turn as a volatile Cossack captain.

When Horror Express was released, the horror genre was at a fascinating crossroads. The gothic traditions popularized by Hammer Studios throughout the 1960s were beginning to fade, overtaken by the grittier, bloodier styles of filmmakers like Herschell Gordon Lewis and George A. Romero. By 1968, Romero’s Night of the Living Dead had already shifted the genre toward a darker, more nihilistic tone, paving the way for the grislier excesses that would dominate the 1970s. Martín’s film stood out precisely because it clung to the elegance and atmosphere of Hammer’s gothic aesthetic while incorporating moments of shocking violence and morbid detail. It occupied an unusual in-between space: refined in look and tone yet unnerving in its thematic brutality. Its blend of period atmosphere, science fiction paranoia, and restrained gore made it a fascinating transitional work in horror history.

The premise is simple but chilling. Aboard the Trans-Siberian Express, a British anthropologist (Christopher Lee’s Professor Saxton) transports a recently unearthed specimen—an ape-like, fossilized creature. His colleague, Peter Cushing’s Dr. Wells, becomes reluctantly entangled in the unfolding mystery. Predictably, the specimen is not what it seems; it revives and begins unleashing a series of violent attacks on the passengers. Soon it is revealed to harbor a far more terrifying, alien intelligence capable of killing and inhabiting its victims. This leads to one of the film’s most haunting sequences: the white-eyed, zombie-like corpses, drained of memories and humanity, shambling through the train corridors under the entity’s control. At eight years old, these images struck me as some of the most horrifying I had ever seen, and even today their uncanny blend of gothic atmosphere and science fiction body horror still lingers.

Viewed in retrospect, Horror Express bears a striking resemblance to John W. Campbell’s novella Who Goes There?—the basis for Howard Hawks’ The Thing from Another World and John Carpenter’s The Thing in 1982. Like those stories, it is steeped in paranoia, playing with the idea of an alien intelligence that can absorb knowledge and animate the dead. While it never attains the precision of Carpenter’s later masterpiece, it foreshadows that same blend of claustrophobia, distrust, and escalating dread.

What makes Horror Express unforgettable is its restraint. Rather than leaning on gore, it generates fear through suggestion, atmosphere, and disturbing imagery. The snowy isolation of the Trans-Siberian route reinforces the cold sterility of its alien invader, while the confined train cars become a claustrophobic prison of escalating terror. Over time, the film has slipped into the public domain, making it widely available on streaming platforms and budget DVDs. Though often overlooked in surveys of 1970s horror, it deserves recognition as one of the last great gothic horror films before the torch passed to Craven, Carpenter, and Hooper.

For me, Horror Express remains not just a childhood scare but a cinematic touchstone: a rare piece of science fiction horror bridging two eras, one that manages to terrify without relying on excess gore. It disturbed me at age eight, and even now, watching the blank-eyed corpses lurch through the dim train cars still triggers that same visceral shiver.

Working with Jigsaw, Short Film Review by Case Wright


This is an example of a perfect short film! Sometimes life is just awful and you find that Hell has sub-basements. I am currently in the next to last sub-basement; yes, it really is that bad. At times like that, Richard Morgan, the author of Altered Carbon wrote “You take what’s offered….sometimes you just need to get to the next screen.” Working with Jigsaw was one of those moments for me. It was funny enough to make my brain take a brief break and allow me to laugh. Trust me, if a film is funny enough to make me laugh at this time in my life, you might literally pee your pants or poo or pee/poo them. What I am trying say is that you should wear your peeing yourself pants while watching this and then shower- Don’t be gross!

The plot is right in the title and you get what you were promised. You know you have something special when the writer and director know that 3 minutes and 43 seconds is actually longer that you think. Why is that important? It is critical to have the time awareness because it frees the short film director to use silence to set up a reaction. In this film, the silences set up the punchlines, but it a straight horror short it allows for suspense, payoff, and even to have a moment to care about the characters. Most of the shorts I watch are either pitches in disguise or worse they don’t use their time wisely to make you care that the characters are in peril.

Working with Jigsaw pulls together the concept of a malevolent force being awful at work. Jigsaw is constantly interfering with people’s work to make them play his non-lethal but horribly annoying games. The HR scene at the end is film gold!

I really can’t say enough nice things about this short. Both writers got jobs working for Jimmy Kimmel after this short, which fills with rare joy! I hope they continue to make short films and feature length comedies- they are truly gifted artists!

Music Video of the Day: Poison by Alice Cooper (1989, directed by Nigel Dick)


There are actually two versions of this video.  Both of them feature model Rana Kennedy as the mysterious woman looking over Alice Cooper.  One version features shots where the woman is meant to be topless.  (A body double was used in those shots).  The MTV-friendly version excises the toplessness and is less focused on torture than the first version.

Director Nigel Dick was one of the big music video directors of the MTV era.  He worked with everyone who was anybody.  Alice Cooper definitely was and still is somebody.  It’s funny how he went from being the rocker that parents feared to being a beloved cultural institution and he did it while, for the most part, still remaining true to his original act and persona.  All the kids who used to get yelled at for listening to Cooper grew up and kept listening to him and Alice turned out to be a pretty smart guy.

Enjoy!

October Positivity: Nothing Is Impossible (dir by Matt Shapira)


With apologies to Brad Crain, I’ve never been a basketball fan.

I’m not really a team sports fan in general but basketball truly gets on my nerves.  My main issue, of course, is that all the squeaky shoes make it difficult for me to watch a game.  The constant squeaking is headache-inducing.  My other problem with basketball is that people who like basketball tend to really, really, really like it, to the extent that they can’t handle the fact that some of us don’t really care.  Finally, I get tired of being expected to pay attention to whatever it is the coaches say after the game.  How many times have I come online to see breathless stories about a basketball coach giving his thoughts on current events?  Like seriously, who cares?  Why would I care what a coach thinks about tariffs?  Why are we even asking basketball coaches for their opinions?  Aren’t basketball coaches just supposed to yell at people until they get kicked out of the game?  I’ve seen Hoosiers, which I will acknowledge is a very good movie despite my feelings about the game.  Gene Hackman was constantly getting kicked off the court and everyone loved him for it.  Temper tantrums, that’s what we need from basketball coaches.  We don’t need to know your thoughts on the cost of bread.

What’s the point of all this?  Before I talk about 2022’s Nothing Is Impossible, I thought you deserved to know my own bias against the game.  Nothing is Impossible is a movie that loves basketball.

Nothing is impossible?  Try telling that to former basketball-star-turned-high-school-janitor Scott Beck (David A.R. White).  Scott, we’re told, could have been a star in the NBA but it didn’t pan out.  Instead, Scott works as a janitor and volunteers as an assistant high school coach.  While NBA players and their coaches are answering questions about who they voted for in the last election, Scott is looking after his alcoholic father and regretting the fact that he left Ryan Aikins (Nadja Bjorlin) at the altar.

Ryan is now the owner of a basketball team and, when the team announces that it will be holding live tryouts for anyone who wants to try to make the team, Scott finds himself tempted to try to achieve his dream of playing in the NBA.  Can Scott do it?  Can he still compete at a competitive level?  Actually, could he ever compete at a competitive level?  Listen, I know this is a PureFlix film and David A.R. White can probably appear in any one of their films that he wants to because he’s one of the founders of the company but White is never particularly convincing as someone who could make a professional basketball team.  He’s not particularly tall.  He doesn’t come across as being particularly athletic.  He’s middle-aged.  Nothing is impossible the title tells us but the idea of an unathletic, middle-aged, 5’10 white guy dunking on a bunch of NBA superstars truly tests that claim.

The important thing, of course, is that Scott and Ryan discover that they’re still in love and White and Bjorlin manage to generate enough romantic chemistry to make a believable couple.  The other important thing is that Steven Bauer shows up as a heartless executive.  It’s always nice to see Bauer destroying dreams.  Otherwise, the film did not change my opinion about basketball.

Seriously, those shoes are just too damn squeaky….

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 1.8 “Secrets & Lies”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, Ashley learns her father’s secret.

Episode 1.8 “Secrets & Lies”

(Dir by Bruce McDonald, originally aired on May 6th, 2002)

This is a landmark episode of Degrassi: The Next Generation for two reasons.

First off, it’s the first episode to establish that Liberty has a crush on J.T.  Liberty’s unrequited crush was one of the show’s early storyline and, to be honest, it was frequently one of the more annoying storylines.  Liberty was always a rather flat character and she and J.T. never really made much sense as a couple.  (Yes, they did eventually become a couple.)  Of course, watching this episode today, all I can think about is the fact that, in the far future, J.T. is going to die in Liberty’s arms after being stabbed in the back by a student from a rival high school.  Much as with Degrassi High, knowing what the future holds adds a layer of poignance to these early episodes that they otherwise wouldn’t have.

As for this episode, J.T. tries to get Liberty to leave him alone by pretending to be gay.  He gets this idea after Toby informs him that Ashley’s father, the dashing Robert Kerwin (Andrew Gillies), has come out of the closet.

The majority of this episode deals with Ashley struggling to accept that her father is gay.  Again, this is another storyline that becomes far more poignant if you already know that Robert is eventually going to marry his partner Christopher and Ashley’s boyfriend is going to have a mental breakdown at the wedding.

This episode actually did a very good job of realistically portraying Ashley’s initial reaction to learning that her father’s gay.  Ashley is confused and, as she was still hoping that her parents would eventually get back together, she feels betrayed.  It’s an honest reaction and probably not the sort of thing you would ever see on television today, where our idealized protagonists almost always have the right response from the start.  The fact that the show deals honestly with Ashley’s emotions makes her eventual acceptance of her father’s sexuality all the more poignant.

This episode deals very sensitively deals with Robert’s coming out and Andrew Gillies and Melissa McIntyre both deserve a lot of credit for their performances.  (Remember, this episode aired in 2002, at a time when gay characters were almost always portrayed as either being comedy relief or helpless victims.)  I do have to admit that there is one rather clunky line in this episode.  It comes when Ashley asks Robert if he has a boyfriend and Robert tells her about his partner, Christopher.  Ashley’s next line (and Melissa McIntyre’s overdramatic delivery of it) always makes me laugh despite myself:

Aside from that line and all of the cringey stuff involving J.T. and Liberty (and, admittedly, that is a lot to overlook), this was a sensitive and well-handled episode.

October Hacks: Popeye The Slayer Man (dir by Robert Michael Ryan)


“You’re a monster!” a terrified woman shouts at the hulking, murderous figure who haunts the local abandoned cannery.

“I yam what I yam,” the Sailor Man (Jason Robert Stephens) replies before presumably killing her in some grotesque way.

The Sailor Man haunts the cannery.  Some believe him to be a ghost be actually, he’s just a former sailor who has been mutated after eating too much contaminated spinach.  Now, he is freakishly strong and can literally rip people into pieces with his hands.  Running into the Sailor Man means that you will soon be seeing disconnected limbs, compound fractures, and split open heads.  The Sailor Man’s motives aren’t always easy to figure out but, if you smell the burning of his pipe, you should probably run.  With those gigantic arms and his permanent sour expression, the Sailor Man can pretty much do whatever he feels like doing.  Shooting him or stabbing him won’t stop him.  He’s hooked on the spinach.

Popeye The Slayer Man is one of three Popeye-themed slasher movies to be released in the wake of Popeye moving into the public domain.  In this one, Dexter (Sean Michael Conway), a film student, decides that he wants to make a documentary about the Sailor Man legend so he and his friends break into the cannery.  Almost everyone is killed in a bloody way and it’s hard not to notice that no one seems to be that upset about it.  Dexter comes across the dead body of someone who was previously described as being his best friend since the Second Grade and he barely seems to care.  Instead, he just lifts up his camera and films.  I’m tempted to think that this was meant to be a satire on the callousness of aspiring documentarians but I might be giving the film too much credit.  Who knows?

Obviously, you can’t take a film like this too seriously.  In almost every room in the cannery, there’s at least a handful of empty spinach tins.  To be honest, I actually think the film didn’t go far enough.  Sure, Popeye’s killing people and there’s a character named Olivia (Elena Juliano) but where’s Bluto?  Popeye is presented as a largely silent killer which, again, seems like a missed opportunity.  Popeye is also presented as being rather random in his kills.  He allows one person to survive for reasons that are incredibly unclear, beyond the fact that I guess the filmmakers felt that the character in question was too sympathetic to suffer the same bloody death as nearly everyone else in the film.

Other than the killer being Popeye, this is pretty much a standard low-budget slasher.  I will admit that I kind of appreciated that is was pretty straight-forward about its intentions.  Unlike a lot of recent slasher films, it never came across as if it was apologizing for being what it was and there’s definitely something to be said for that.  The film embraces the philosophy of “I yam what I yam.”  The Sailor Man would be proud.

Horror on TV: Hammer House Of Horror #4: Growing Pains (dir by Francis Megahy)


In the fourth episode of Hammer House of Horror, Gary Bond plays a scientist whose son dies after eating some toxic proteins that just happened to be lying around the lab.  The scientist’s wife (Barbara Kellerman) goes down to the local orphanage to collect a new son but this new kid turns out to be more than a little creepy.

This bizarre episode originally aired, in the UK, on October 4th, 1980.  A quick warning: This episode does feature some dead rabbits.  I like rabbits so that bothered me a bit, even though it made sense in the context of the story.

Forever Knight – S1:E2 – “Dark Knight, Part II”


“He was brought across in 1228. Prayed on humans for their blood. 
Now, he wants to be mortal again.To repay society for his sins. 
To emerge from his World of Darkness. From his endless Forever Night.”

When we last left Nick Knight, Vampire Detective (Geraint Wyn Davies), he was driving through the streets of Toronto, Canada. On the radio was the voice of the Nightcrawler, a.k.a. LaCroix (Nigel Bennett), As Nick’s maker, LaCroix hates the quest for mortality that Nick’s put himself on. Following him along in dark, smoky alleyways, Nick and LaCroix make their way to a local warehouse. Despite their supernatural senses, neither of them notice Alyce trailing behind Nick in the distance. 

LaCroix admits to stealing the jade cup from the museum and to the killing of the guard. The other deaths, however, are not his. When Nick accuses him of lying, LaCroix snaps. “Why would I lie?”, he says. “Give me a reason. I’ve never been afraid of killing.” LaCroix goads Nick into a fight, but easily takes him down since Nick’s been avoiding blood. Alyce arrives on the scene just in time in the rafters above to see Nick’s vampire face, causing her to scream. LaCroix quickly catches her and forces Nick to choose between the cup and Alyce. In the space it takes for the cup to fall, Nick reaches LaCroix and subdues him. LaCroix chuckles and notes, “Either way, I won.” They both watch the cup shatter into pieces on the floor a second later. Alyce heads out the door and down the building’s fire escape, with dawn quickly approaching. Nick and LaCroix get into a scuffle, which end ups with LaCroix impaled on a metal pole. We’re given a short flashback with Nick in the Dark Ages wanting to be human again, with LaCroix assuring him that the life he’s given him is a blessing. “I shall repay you.” Nick responds with contempt. Leaving LaCroix’s body, Nick runs outside into the morning sun. Smoke flows from his clothes as he makes it to his Caddy and locks himself in the trunk. 

The next morning, Captain Stonetree (Gary Farmer), Nat (Catherine Disher) and Schanke (John Kapelos) are trying to figure out what happened to Nick. Schanke believes the Bloodbank has something to do the case. A call comes in, notifying the Captain that Nick’s Caddy was found and is being brought in. Schanke picks up the car and decides to ‘tool around’ in Knight’s Caddy for a while. 

The “Bloodmobile” Winnebago arrives at a local hospital, and we watch a cart with blood bags make its way to the front desk. The nurse goes to accept the delivery when the phone rings. When she mentions the police (who are on the line as they are visiting), we see Dr. Fenner (Graham McPherson) brought in the blood. The fellow seems nervous at the sound of the police. 

With Schanke at the front desk asking for the blood doner records, the nurse lets him know it’s confidential info. Fenner walks over to Schanke (as Schanke donated blood in the previous episode) and despite the Doctor vouching for him (and joking over the mileage of the Caddy), Schanke still can’t the nurse to hand over the records. He waves her away and promises to return with a warrant. At the same time Schanke has this conversation, Nick climbs out the Cadillac, sneaks into Fenner’s office and uses his computer. A quick call to Natalie and Nick mentions that Schanke’s hunches were correct and all of the victims were indeed blood donors. 

Dr. Fenner makes a visit to the Caddy, causing Nick (in the truck again) to wonder what’s up. Schanke gets back into the car, cranks up some Polka music and backs out of the car lot, leaving behind a puddle of break fluid. On the road, he discovers he can’t slow down and panics. 

Alyce tries to contact Nick via the phone, but can’t reach him. She looks up his address in the phone book, remembering their initial conversation and how Nick mentioned the numbers in the stones matched his alarm code. She writes this down on a pad and heads to Nick’s place. 

At the Garage shop, Schanke and a mechanic are going over the damage to Nick’s Caddy. Before Schanke can leave, Nick comes out of hiding and confronts him. Schanke pleads for his life, describing the events of the crash, and Nick points out that not were the brake lines cut but that he was right on his hunch. Nick still wants to kill Schanke about the car, but apologizes to him for his work on the case. Schanke came through big. 

“Hey, you look like death warmed over.” Schanke tells Nick, who responds that he hasn’t had anything to eat, but will get to “bite into something”. They head back to the Hospital to continue the investigation. Alyce, meanwhile heads to Nick’s place and find an injured Jeannie (Nicole De Boer). While tending to her, she calls for a doctor, asking for them to just ring the buzzer. Alyce tells Jeannie about the ambulance coming, but Jeannie freaks out. “He’ll be there! No!!” she cries out. 

At the hospital, the truth comes to light. Dr. Fenner was the one who visited, his motive for the crimes being the death of his mother after a Type O blood transfusion lead to her having hepatitis. He blamed the homeless as the source of the problem. Nick quickly calls in an APB on the Doctor from the Hospital and then calls home to check his messages. Alyce picks up and tells him that Jeannie’s there, with the Ambulance on the way. Leaving the receiver open, Nick overhears Alyce’s scream and Doctor Fenner stuggling with her. Nick jumps into action, yelling to Schanke to send back up to his warehouse while leaping out of a window (outside of Schanke’s view, of course), soaring over Toronto’s busy streets. 

Nick crashes through the window of his Warehouse, his apartment partially in flames. He moves to bite the Doctor, but his willpower is strong enough to keep from doing so. The doctor makes a run for it across the room, but is quickly dispatched by LaCroix, who drains him to a husk. LaCroix taunts Nick, who is too weak from not having fed. Alyce offers herself to him (a notion that LaCroix is in total support of), but Nick refuses. He instead picks up a burning piece of wood and tries to take out LaCroix, but is no real match for him. Alyce tries to run, but LaCroix catches up to her. Before he can bite her, though, Nick leaps back into action, finally impaling him with the piece of wood. LaCroix seemingly bursts into flames, leaving Nick with the unconscious Alyce as the sound of police sirens grow louder. 

In the Epilogue, Natalie and Nick are back at the museum. “She wanted to live forever.” Nick says, saying that Alyce and LaCroix were the lucky ones in death. Vampirism for Nick is a life without love, but Natalie has hopes for him. “Do you really think you could bring me back over?”, he asks. “All we can do is keep trying.” she responds. As they leave the museum, Schanke makes fun over Nick’s blood transfusion (which is his). In a change from the TV film, as the trio depart the museum, we notice someone watching them from a high window. Nat and Schanke walk away, but Nick looks up briefly to find Alyce – a vampire herself now – smiling back at him before she takes flight into the night. 

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Undertaker (dir by Franco Steffanino)


In 1988’s The Undertaker, a small college town is rocked by a serious of viscous, sexually-charged murders.  While the professors and the students deal with their own dramas on campus, the bodies are piling up at the local funeral home.  Who could the murderer be?

Well, Joe Spinell’s in the film.  That really should be the only clue you need.

Spinell plays Roscoe, the town undertaker who has issues with his mother, cries at random, talks to dead bodies, watches movies featuring sacrifices, and occasionally performs what appears to be some sort of a ritual with his victims.  This film was Spinell’s final film and he gives a performance that alternates between being perfunctory and being fully committed.  On the one hand, there are plenty of scenes where Spinell appears to be making up his lines as he goes along,  In the scenes in which he appears in his office, it’s appears that Spinell is literally reading his lines off of the papers on top of his desk.  Then there are other scenes where Spinell suddenly seems to wake up and he flashes the unhinged intensity that made him such a fascinating character actor.  In the 70s and 80s, there were many actors who frequently played dangerous people.  Spinell was the only one who really came across like he might have actually killed someone on the way to the set.  Spinell was in poor health for most of his life and he also struggled with drug addiction.  In The Undertaker, he doesn’t always look particularly healthy.  Even by Joe Spinell standards, he sweats a lot.  And yet, in those scenes were actually commits himself to the character, we see the genius that made him so unforgettable.

As for the film itself, it’s basically Maniac but without the New York grit that made that film memorable.  Instead, it takes place in a small town and Spinell, with his rough accent and his button man mustache, seems so out-of-place that the film at times starts to feel like an accidental satire.  Roscoe is obviously guilty from the first moment that we see him and yet no one else can seem to figure that out.  Only his nephew suspect Roscoe but that problem is quickly taken care of.  Whenever anyone dies, their body is brought to Rosco’s funeral home.  Roscoe puts on his black suit, plasters down his hair, and tries to look somber.  Roscoe spends a good deal of the film talking to himself.  When a victim runs away from Roscoe, Spinell looks at a nearby dead body and shrugs as if saying, “What can you do, huh?”

If you’re into gore, this film has a lot of it and, for the most part, it’s pretty effective.  In the 80s, even the cheapest of productions still found money to splurge on blood and flayed skin effects.  If you’re looking for suspense or a coherent story, this film doesn’t really have that to offer.  It does, however, offer up Joe Spinell in his final performance, sometimes bored and yet sometimes brilliant.