Halloween is approaching! We should not forget to discuss the fear of failure, which this episode did not have a problem doing.  Wow, I’ve reviewed some hot garbage, but this was the mathematical derivative of garbage because it was the rate of change from boring to embarrassing.  The only bright spot was veteran Bruce Davison’s performance that was wasted on such hackneyed craptastic material.  Sad.

The first story was about a Monkey’s Paw. Yep, Nicotero decided to do a monkey’s paw story….on purpose. It follows the typical trope: Get a Paw, make three wishes, and they all suck somehow, but this time with mediocre zombie makeup.  Honestly, it looked like Party City was missing some 2 dollar makeup.  We should all feel sad for the time that I shall never get back.

The second story was auditioning for the Walking Dead radio show because half of the rushed hot mess was exposition.  A mayor and cronies go bad during a zombie apocalypse and town executes them.  This story also had some second tier Walking Dead zombies and David Arquette who basically did agonized facial expressions whenever he was on camera.  I used to really like David’s acting, but now he just looks like he’s tired and needs to angry poo real real bad.  Maybe, David decided to get some gas station sushi, wash it down with past questionable milk, and go to set? That’s what his acting told me.

This show has potential for actual greatness, but man, if Nicotero doesn’t do some quality control, it’ll just be another schlocky horror series like Two Sentence Horror.

Happy Horrorthon! Remember to decorate your tree for SamHain; he’s like Sam Goody because he’s from the past, but probably not like Yosemite Sam.  Why am I writing kinda goofy? Because I just read the early 20th Century version of Scooby Doo!  Yes, Lovecraft can be kinda corny.

In The Hound, two graverobbers get more than they bargained for when they steal a dead hound’s amulet and the ghost monster stalks them.  Jinkies!  There is very little character development, but the there is a whole heck of a lot of stuffy prose to obfuscate the simplistic plot.  The hound starts howling at night “Shaaaaaaagggggggy” “Vellllllma” or something close to that.  They start to go crazy and one of the grave-robbers dies! Jeepers!

The grave-robber/narrator decides to return the amulet to the groovy ghoulie, but he gets robbed! Ruh-Roh! Of course this turns out to be good luck because the Evil Scooby kills the muggers.  For some reason, he decides to visit the doggy grave again and it’s covered in the gore of meddling kids! Zoinks!

Would I recommend reading this story? Well….it was kinda fun and maybe worth two Scooby Snacks!

Happy Horrorthon.  Yes, I’m reviewing Thriller. I separate art from the artist.  There is too much understanding that is lost if we create a Bushido for people to be worthy of artistic contribution.

Thriller is unique because like the majority of works I’ve reviewed this season, it’s a short film.  It’s even a film within a film within a film.  Michael and his date are watching a scary movie, they are in a scary movie, and then she is in a real-life scary movie.  It’s directed by John Landis at his best.  It’s got the humor and horror married together.

Today, this song is a great vehicle for charity…YEP! People across the world on this weekend will dance the Thriller Dance to raise money for charity.  In the Seattle area, amazingly wonderful and handsome people perform the Thriller dance to raise money for Survivor Northwest – a charity that empowers women who have had a cancer diagnosis to survive and thrive through fitness, health and wellness services.

For those of you who never been touched by the horror of cancer, I envy you in a way that you will never understand.  For this charity dance alone, Thriller should remain. See the amazingly beautiful and talented dancers below.

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The Man Who Loved Flowers is a short story by Stephen King. Yes, I’m doing another one; it’s become a theme for me this horrorthon.  I’m pretty amazed at how King can take just a few pages and create a whole world.  Unfortunately, for the characters in this story, the world has a man who likes to murder people with a hammer…Yes, a hammer!

It’s New York City in 1963 and among the headlines of the Day: JFK (still alive), Vietnam is kicking off, and there is a man murdering women with a hammer.  The story is very good at lulling the reader into a sense of security.  There’s a man with a love of spring that that is palpable.  In fact, everyone is nostalgic and happy when they see him because he personifies the love of spring.

As he wanders around New York, he purchases some flower and then he finds Norma.  Well, Norma in his mind only because Norma is dead and so is this woman very soon after he meets her.  It’s a brutal scene and sudden.  He spends a lot of time describing the murder.  After the killing, he’s all smiles.

I wouldn’t say it’s the best of his short stories, but it’s not terrible.  I would describe it as the Honda Civic of short stories; yes they are easy to steal, don’t have a lot of power, and look like a moving bad decision; but, the Civic has reasonable gas mileage and shouts to the world – Yes, I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but I can still afford a tank of gas!

Happy Horrorthon! In The Cats of Ulthar by Lovecraft, there is a town that has a strict rule: Do not kill cats and NO DANCING! Most people have this don’t kill cats thing as an unspoken rule, but for the people of Ulthar, it had to be written the fuck down!  The town wasn’t always this way.  The town had two old psychopaths that got their jollies out of luring and slaying cats just for the Memmmmmmories.  Poor Rum Tum Tugger never saw it coming.  For him, a new day would not begin.

Everything was going purrrrfectly, until a bunch of demonish people passed through Ulthur.  The travelers had a child with them who had a wee kitten, but not for long because when the the travelers fell asleep, the old couple decided all nine lives of the  kitten must end and not even Elaine Paige’s voice could save it.

This made the boy demon all bummed out so he he summoned demons to empower the town’s cats to eat the elderly couple and they did have one big Fancy Feast! So, the town made the no killing cats rule, which caused a severe lasagna shortage and general hatred of Mondays.