Horror Film Review: Wax Mask (dir by Sergio Stivaletti)


The 1997 Italian horror film, Wax Mask, takes place in Rome at the turn of the 20th Century.

The film opens in 1900, with a young girl named Sonia witnessing the murder of her parents by a man with an iron claw and a wax mask.  12 years later, Sonia (Romina Mondello) steps into a Rome’s newest sensation, a wax museum where all of the wax figures appear to either be victims or murderers.  The museum is meant to scare people.  One man accepted a dare to spend the night in the museum and he was found dead the next morning, frightened to death.  Sonia’s not interested in being scared.  She just needs a job.  Her mother taught her how to make clothes for wax figures.  The owner of the museum, Boris (Robert Hossein), hires her.

When Sonia leaves the museum, her picture is taken by Andrea (Riccardo Serventi Longhi), a reporter who is investigating the mysterious deaths that have been connected to the museum.  Meanwhile, Inspector Lanvin (Aldo Massasso) contacts Sonia to let her know that he’s following up some new leads concerning the still-unsolved deaths of her parents.  He seems quite concerned about her working at the museum.  When Lanvin later turns up dead, Sonia becomes concerned as well.

You can probably guess where all of this is going.  Wax Mask is a remake of House of Wax, with the action moved to Rome and also with a lot more nudity and considerably more gore.  The murders are brutal and bloody and the same can be said of what Sonia discovers when she starts to take a closer look at the wax figures in the museum.  Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this film is the idea that the wax figures are actually suspended in a state between life and death, aware of what is happening but unable to move, speak, or do anything about it.  Wax Mask is a frequently diverting throwback to the bloody but atmospheric giallo films of the 70s.  Suspense is mixed with special effects, some of which are more effective than others.

Wax Mask was originally meant to be Lucio Fulci’s final film.  Dario Argento saw his old cinematic rival, Lucio Fulci, in 1994, by which point Fulci was using a wheelchair and was in frequent pain.  Thinking that working on a movie might be good for Fulci’s state-of-mind and overall health, Argento agreed to produce Fulci’s next film.  The idea that they came up with was to remake House of Wax.  While Argento wanted to concentrate on spectacular death scenes, Fulci wrote a script that emphasized atmosphere over blood.  Tragically, Fulci died in 1997 while the film was still in pre-production.  Argento replaced Fulci with Sergio Stivaletti, a special effects artist who has worked on several Argento films.

Stivaletti rewrote the script and put the emphasis back on the special effects.  (In the end, the killer has as much in common with The Terminator than with a traditional giallo killer.)  Stivaletti does a good job directing the film.  There are plenty of scary scenes.  The film looks good.  Even the special effect shots that don’t quite work still have a certain charm to them.  That said, it’s hard to watch the film without thinking about what Fucli, at his best, could have done with the material.

In the end, though, Wax Mask is an effective work of late era Italian horror.

Horror Film Review: C.H.U.D. (dir by Douglas Cheek)


There’s something living under the streets of New York City.

That’s the basic idea behind 1984’s C.H.U.D., a film that opens with an upper class woman and her little dog being dragged into the sewers by a creature the reaches out of a manhole.  People are disappearing all over the city but the authorities obviously aren’t revealing everything that they know.  Even after the wife of NYPD Captain Bosch (Christopher Curry) disappears, the city government doesn’t seem to be too eager to dig into what exactly is happening.

Instead, it falls to two activists.  Photographer George Cooper (John Heard) specializes in taking picture of the homeless, especially the one who live underground in the New York subways.  He’s like a well-groomed version of Larry Clark, I guess.  Social activist A.J. “The Reverend” Shepherd (Daniel Stern) runs a homeless shelter and is convinced that something is preying on the most vulnerable citizens of New York.  When the police won’t do their job, George and the Reverend step up!

So, what’s living in the sewers?  Could it be that there actually are cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers out there?  Everyone in New York City has heard the legends but, much like stories of the alligators in the Chicago sewers, most people chose not to believe them.  Or could the disappearance have something to do with the cannisters labeled Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal that are being left in the sewers by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission?  Wilson (George Martin) of the NRC says that they would never purposefully mutate the people living underground but Wilson works for the government so who in their right mind is going to trust him?

C.H.U.D. is a horror film with a social conscience.  It’s very much an 80s films because, while you have Shepherd running around and attacking everyone for not taking care of the most vulnerable members of society, the true villain is ultimately revealed to be the members of a regulatory agency.  Instead of finding a safe way to get rid of their nuclear waste, they just found a sneaky way to abandon it all in New York and obviously, they assumed no one would care because …. well, it’s New York.  Everyone in the country knows that New York City isn’t safe so who is going to notice a few underground monsters, right?

The idea behind C.H.U.D. has a lot of potential but the execution is a bit lackluster.  For every good C.H.U.D. kill, there’s long passages where the story drags.  Considering that Heard spent most of his career typecast as the type of authority figure who would dump nuclear waste under New York City, it’s actually kind of interesting to see him playing a sympathetic role here.  Daniel Stern, on the other hand, is miscast and rather hyperactive as Shepherd.  You really do want someone to tell him to calm down for a few minutes.  Watching C.H.U.D., one gets the feeling that it’s a film with an identity crisis.  Is it a horror film, an action flick, a work of social commentary, or a dark comedy?  There’s no reason why it can’t be all four but C.H.U.D. just never really comes together.  It ultimately feels more like a mix of several different films instead of being a film made with one clear and coherent vision.

In the end, Death Line remains the film to see about underground cannibals.

Horror Film Review: Mesa of Lost Women (dir by Herbert Tevos and Ron Ormond)


“Have you ever been kissed by a girl like this?” a disembodied voice asks at the start of 1953’s Mesa For Lost Women as a pair hands with claw-like fingernails caresses the face of someone who is later identified as being “Doc” Tucker (Allan Nixon).

Things get stranger from there.  A couple is found lost and dehydrated in the Mexican desert.  Grant Phillips (Robert Knapp) rambles about “super bugs” out in the desert and how they have to be destroyed.  American land surveyor Frank (John Martin) assumes that Grant must be delirious but Frank’s assistant, Pepe (Chris Pin Martin), knows differently.  We know that Pepe knows differently because the narrator tells us that Pepe had heard all about the monsters in the desert but Pepe keeps that information to himself….

Who is this narrator and why is he so condescending?  (For the record, he’s actor Lyle Talbot, who split his career between major, Oscar-winning productions and stuff like this.)  Have you ever noticed that a narrator usually just leaves you feeling even more confused by what you just watched?  There’s a trailer playing right now for a film called Ella McCay that opens with Julie Kavner saying, “Hi, I’m the narrator!” and whenever I hear that line, I’m just like, “Oh, this film is going to be so bad!”

I think it’s because most narrators are added after the fact, in an attempt to give some sort of uniformity to a badly constructed movie.  The narrator is there to tell us stuff that a good movie would be able to show us.  For instance, in the trailer for Ella McCay, Julie Kavner tells us that “I’m nuts about her,” as a way to assure us that Ella McCay is someone worth making a movie about.  Now, ideally, you wouldn’t have to have someone tell you that.  You would just watch the movie and say, “Hey, Ella McCay!  She deserves all the happiness in the world!”  But when your trailer is a bunch of scenes of Ella McCay acting a bit immature for someone who is destined to become “governor of the state you were born and raised in,” you need that narrator to say, “No, she’s likable, I promise!”

By that same logic, Mesa of Lost Women was apparently a mash-up of several different films, none of which had a complete script.  Narrator Lyle Talbot is here to tell us that, despite what we’re seeing, Mesa of Lost Women is an actual movie with an actual story as opposed to just a bunch of random scenes that were haphazardly crammed together.  We get a flashback of a scientist named Masterson (Harmon Stevens) traveling to the laboratory of Dr. Aranya (Jackie Coogan) and discovering that Aranya is creating giant tarantulas and transforming human women into mind-controlled slaves with the instincts of a spider.  Masterson doesn’t think that’s ethical so Aranya’s assistant, Tarantella (Tandra Quinn), gives him an injection that turns him into a simpleton.  Masterson ends up in a mental hospital, though he later escapes.  Meanwhile, an American businessman and his girlfriend (Mary Hill) come to Mexico and witness Tarantella dancing in a bar.  Masterson shows up and shoots Tarantella and then takes everyone hostage so that he can force Grant, who we now discover is a pilot, to fly him to the mesa of lost women …. or something.

Despite the best efforts of the narrator, the film is impossible to follow.  A big problem is that Dr. Aarnya’s plan never makes much sense.  How is creating a giant spider and a bunch of women who think that they’re spiders going to help him conquer the world?  The other problem is that the film had two directors, one of whom was an enigmatic German named Herbert Tevos who got the job by claiming to have directed Josef von Sternberg’s The Blue Angel.  Tevos’s footage of Dr. Aranya, the giant tarantula, and the “lost women” was not enough to secure the film distribution so a second director, Ron Ormond, was brought in to shoot a bunch of new footage to make the film more commercial.  Tevos’s film became an extended flashback in the middle of Ormond’s film and the whole thing is a big mess.

In fact, the film is such a mess that some people insist Ed Wood must have been involved.  It is true that narrator Lyle Talbot also appeared in Plan 9 From Outer Space and Glen or GlendaPlan 9‘s Mona McKinnon appears as a spider woman.  So does Dolores Fuller, who was Wood’s girlfriend at the time.  Wood later “borrowed” Mesa of Lost Women‘s score for Jail BaitMesa of Lost Women was definitely Wood-adjacent but, by all accounts, Wood didn’t actually do any work on the film.  This mess of a film belongs to Tevos and Ormond.

And it is a mess.  It’s a watchable mess, in much the same way that a nuclear meltdown would probably be watchable.  But, nonetheless, it’s still a mess and the incoherence of the plot really does get on one’s nerves, despite the best efforts of Lyle Talbot.  Talbot can’t sell the viewer on Mesa of Lost Women.  Maybe he would have had better luck with Ella McCay.

Horror On The Lens: Bride of the Monster (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


Oh, how I love Bride of the Monster.

First released in 1955 and directed by the legendary Ed Wood, Bride of the Monster is a classic mix of a haunted house, a mad scientist, a lumbering assistant, and a giant octopus.  The plot may be impossible to follow but it doesn’t matter when you’ve got Tor Johnson grunting and Bela Lugosi giving a surprisingly good performance as the persecuted Dr. Vornoff, a man who “tampered in God’s domain.”

A lot of people consider this to be Wood’s best film.  Personally, I would go with Plan 9 From Outer Space but Bride of the Monster is still an entertaining look at monsters and madmen.

 

Hell No: The Sensible Horror Film, Short Film Review by Case Wright


This is fun!!! Technically, this short film does not have an actual story, BUT it is still a well done and fun short film. But Case, you’re so hard on everyone and this year you’re being so lenient! Fair critique, but I argue that this is within the parody genre and is exempt from my usual rules. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was one of the first films to do a feature length send up of many different movies and this short is in that vibe.

They go through the tropes: they stop at an abandoned cabin and say – F THAT!, a cop who WAITS for backup, and a boy who finds the Hellraiser puzzle and just plays with his iPhone instead and then does something hilarious to the box. If you want a quick laugh when you’re in line or anything other time you have about 3 minutes to kill, it is great choice. Life can be challenging and good laugh is better than a good cry.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch Creature From The Black Lagoon With #ScarySocial!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting a true classic, Creature From The Black Lagoon!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag!  The film is available on Prime and Tubi!  I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy!

 

October Positivity: Marriage Retreat (dir by David Christiaan)


In 2011’s Marriage Retreat, Jeff Fahey and Victoria Jackson play marriage counselors.

Seriously, that’s bring to mind some wonderful images, doesn’t it?  I would pay money for a film where Jeff Fahey plays a Dr. Phil-type psychiatrist who has his own television show where he yells at his guests and tell them that they’re not worth his time.  Fahey would totally knock that role out of the park.  As for Victoria Jackson, her eccentric screen persona would seem to make her the perfect companion for Fahey.  Fahey is known for intensity.  Jackson is known for being in her own private world.  They’re a good combination!

And Fahey and Jackson are the best things about Marriage Retreat.  Admittedly, Victoria Jackson doesn’t really get to do too much but she has a few good scenes with Fahey.  Fahey, for his part, dominates the entire film.  Marriage Retreat may be a lightweight and ultimately rather light-headed comedy but Fahey doesn’t give a lightweight performance.  Fahey delivers all of his lines with that hard-driving intensity of his and, when someone complains about being married, Fahey’s glare tells you all you need to know.  If the film’s message was that being a bad husband results in dealing with the wrath of Fahey, many husbands would immediately shape up.

Unfortunately, the rest of the film doesn’t really live up to the performances of either Fahey and Jackson.  The majority of the film deals with three boring couples who all go on a marriage retreat.  They stay at what appears to be a summer camp and they discuss why their marriages are falling apart.

For instance, Mark (David A.R. White) says that he’s not ready to be a father and he’s come up with all sorts of financial excuses to justify not starting a family.  Do you think Jeff Fahey’s going to let him get away with that?  No way!  Plus, Mark’s wife (Andrea Logan White) is already pregnant so Mark better stop whining and step up.

Bobby Castle (Tommy Blaze) was a successful businessman but then he blew all of his money in some unwise investments.  Now, Bobby is addicted to gambling online and his wife (Caroline Choi) is thinking of leaving him.  Bobby is such a degenerate gambler (to quote Joe Pesci in Casino) that he even finds a way to get online at the camp so that he can continue to play poker on the Internet.  The man needs help!

And finally, James Harlow (Matthew Florida) needs to grow up, especially since he’s about to become a father…. wait, a minute, I thought that was Mark’s problem.  Well, no matter.  Grow up, James!

The men are all immature and Jeff Fahey calls them out on it while Victoria Jackson tells the wives that they need to remember that God made them second and their job is to support their husbands …. wait, what?  Oh, wait — this is another faith-based movie about marriage.  The recurring theme in these films is that, no matter how much the husband screws up, it’s still ultimately the fault of the wife for not being understanding and supportive.  Yeah, okay, then.  There’s a difference between being supportive and being a doormat.

Anyway, the problem with this film is that I didn’t really care about the married couples.  But I did enjoy watching Jeff Fahey do his thing.

Horror On Television: Final Curtain (dir by Edward D. Wood, Jr.)


1957’s Final Curtain is a short, 22-minute film in which a mysterious man (Duke Moore) wanders around a creepy and seemingly abandoned theater.  While Dudley Manlove (who played Eros the Alien in Plan Nine From Outer Space) provides narration, the man sees many strange things in the theater.  What is real and what is merely a hallucination?  Watch to find out!

Final Curtain was envisioned, by director Edward D. Wood, as being the pilot for a horror anthology series.  Though none of the networks were interested in buying Wood’s proposed series, Wood considered Final Curtain to be his finest film and it certainly is a bit more atmospheric than the typical Wood film.  The role of the mysterious man was written for Bela Lugosi but, after Lugosi passed away, Duke Moore was cast in the role instead.

From 1957, here is Final Curtain.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: The Sadist (dir by James Landis)


1963’s The Sadist opens with three teachers driving to a baseball game.

Ed (Richard Alden), Doris (Helen Hovey), and Carl (Don Russell) are planning on just having a nice night out but their plans change when they have car trouble out in the middle of nowhere.  They pull into a gas station/junkyard that happens to be sitting off the side of the road.  The teachers look for the owner of the gas station or at least someone who works there.  Instead, what they find is Charlie Tibbs (Arch Hall, Jr,) and bis girlfriend, Judy Bradshaw (Marilyn Manning).

Charlie is carrying a gun and he demands that the teachers repair their car and then give it to him so that he and Judy can continue their journey across the country.  Charlie has been switching cars frequently, largely because the cops are looking for him.  That’s because Charlie has been killing people all up and down the highway.  The intellectual teachers find themselves being held hostage by Charlie and Judy, two teenagers who may not be as smart as them but who have the killer instinct that the teachers lack.

It’s interesting to watch The Sadist after watching Eegah!  Arch Hall, Jr. and Marilyn Manning played boyfriend and girlfriend in that one as well but neither Hall nor Manning were particularly credible in their roles.  Hall seems uncomfortable with the whole teen idol angle of his role while Manning seemed a bit too mature for the role of a teenager.  In The Sadist, however, they’re both not only believable but they’re terrifying as well.

Charlie and Judy are almost feral in their ferocity, with both taking a disturbing glee in taunting the teachers.  Charlie kills without blinking and Judy enjoys every minute of it.  It’s easy to imagine Charlie and Judy at a drive-in showing of Eegah!, laughing at the sight of the caveman getting gunned down by the police and never considering that violence in real life is different from killing in the movies.  The teachers discover that it’s impossible to negotiate with Charlie and that Charlie’s promise not to try to kill them if they fix the car is ultimately an empty one.  And yet the teachers, dedicated to education and trying to reach even the most difficult of students, struggle to fight back.  They’re held back by their conscience, something that Charlie does not possess.  It’s intelligence vs instinct and this film suggests that often, intelligence does not win.

It’s a pretty intense and dark film, one that makes great use of that junkyard setting and which is notable for being the first film to feature the cinematography of Vilmos Zsigmond.  For those who appreciate B-movies, it’s memorable for showing that, when he wasn’t being pushed to be a squeaky-clean hero who sang sappy ballads in films directed by his father, Arch Hall, Jr. actually was capable of giving a very good performance.

The Sadist was based on the true-life crimes of Charlie Starkweather and Caryl Ann Fugate.  Interestingly enough, their crimes also inspired Terence Malick’s  Badlands.

The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent (1958, directed by Roger Corman)


The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent.  That’s the title of this one and it’s far too long for a 67-minute drive-in feature.  Maybe Roger Corman thought he could fool people into thinking the movie was better than it was by giving it a pompous sounding title.

A group of Viking men leave on a voyage and never come back.  After waiting nearly a year, the remaining Viking women vote to set sail and look for them.  Leading them is Desir (Abby Dalton) and she even welcomes the bad-tempted Enger (Susan Cabot) onto their boat.  The last remaining male Viking, Ottar (Jonathan Haze), also joins the quest.

The Viking women (and Ottar) have barely set sail when a “giant” sea serpent rises out of the water and strands them on an island.  The Viking women discover that their men are being held prisoner on the island.  Even if they can rescue their men from King Stark (Richard Devon), the sea serpent still waits for them to try to return.

The Saga of the Viking Women and yadda yadda yadda is a remarkably cheap-looking epic.  A major film about the Vikings was scheduled to be released by United Artists and Corman, determined to get his movie into theaters first, shot the film in ten days and for $65,000.  Irving Block and Jack Rabin, two special effects experts, promised Corman an amazing sea serpent and instead delivered what appeared to be a water-proof puppet.  The Sea Serpent only appears in two scenes and Corman doesn’t allow us a very good view of it.  It looks like something you could have picked up at Toys ‘R Us back in the day.

There’s nothing convincing about the movie, from the costumes to the combat to the serpent.  This was one of Roger Corman’s early misfires though, released on a double bill with the Astounding She-Monster, it still made money.  People love Vikings.