After her husband is arrested for financial fraud, country singer Faith (Jana Kramer) returns home to North Carolina and reconnects with her estranged family. Her father (Gerald McRaney) is there to offer support and small-town, no-nonense wisdom and she’s going to need all of it when she has to choose between the hot local doctor and her repentant husband.
Because Faith’s father was dying of a brain tumor, I assumed this was a Nicholas Sparks movie but it wasn’t. It was just a close copy. Heart of the Country was a movie about the importance of keeping your marriage together, even if your husband was involved in a Ponzi scheme! Faith’s husband (Randy Wayne) didn’t have anything to do with the scheme but he knew it was going on at his firm and he didn’t say anything. When he thinks about rejecting a plea deal that would keep him out of prison because it would mean admitting his guilt and embarrassing his old money family, Faith’s father tells him to be a man and admit that he knew what was going going on at his firm.
Other than some mild language, Heart of the Country could have easily passed for a Hallmark movie. I didn’t agree with Faith’s decision at the end but I did like the way the movie portrayed the relationship between her and her father. Gerald McRaney was really good in the role. It was the last movie that I watched yesterday and I’ll give it a mild recommendation just because of McRaney and some of the music on the soundtrack. If you’re into Hallmark-style movies, this one was okay.
After popular high school student Landon Carter (Shane West) gets busted for drinking on school property and pulling a prank that nearly killed another student, he’s given a choice. He can either be expelled or he can tutor other students and take part in the school play. At both tutoring and play rehearsals, he gets to know Jamie Sullivan (Mandy Moore), the daughter of the local reverend (Peter Coyote). Even though Jamie doesn’t wear makeup and only owns one sweater, Landon falls in love with her. Too bad she’s dying.
A Walk To Remember is a movie that I can remember walking down to the movie theater to see with my friends. Shane West was so handsome. Mandy Moore was so beautiful, even if she did only own one sweater. The film taught us all that there’s nothing more romantic than falling in love when you only have a year to live. (At least, that’s what it taught us girls. The boys just learned that they could nearly kill someone and their only punishment would be having to appear in a school play.) I loved it when I first saw it and I still enjoyed it when I rewatched it yesterday, even if I now realize that it never made sense that Mandy Moore would only own one sweater. There’s a lot about the movie that doesn’t make any sense but Shane West and Mandy Moore had that irresistible chemistry. Early on, when Jamie warns Landon not to fall in love with her and Landon says it will never happen, that’s when everyone knows that they’re destined to be together.
The movie still made me cry, even though I now know that someone has to die in every Nicholas Sparks story. Getting married right out of high school makes sense when one of you is going to be dead before college reopens for the fall. Did Landon ever remarry? He better not have. I will never forget A Walk To Remember.
Ronnie Miller (Miley Cyrus), who is 17 and way too rebellious to be likable, travels to Georgia to spend the summer with her father, a former concert pianist named Steve (Greg Kinnear). Ronnie is a sarcastic brat up until she discovers that a racoon is trying to eat a nest of turtle eggs. She tries to protect the turtles. The aquarium sends over a volunteer named Will (Liam Hemsworth) to watch over the turtle eggs and he and Ronnie fall in love over the course of several nights on the beach. Ronnie starts to straighten out her life but then she learns that her father has cancer and that the reason he invited her and her brother to Georgia was so he could have one last summer with her.
This is a Nicholas Sparks story so, of course, someone has to die. I always tell myself that I’m not going to cry whenever I watch a Nicholas Sparks movie and then I do. Greg Kinnear was really likable as Steve and Liam Hemsworth was really cute as Will and I know I would have fallen in love with him too if we were protecting turtle eggs together. When the eggs hatched, the baby turtles were adorable.
It’s too bad Miley Cyrus can’t act because her performance was so bad that it ruined the movie. Even the racoon that tried to steal the turtle eggs outacted her. I got tired of Ronnie and her attitude. No matter what happened, Ronnie had to be sarcastic about it. Even when she finally realized that the world didn’t revolve around her, Miley still delivered all of her lines in the same flat, smartass tone of voice so I didn’t buy her change of heart at all.
I told a friend that I was going to watch The Lucky One and she said that I better make sure that I had a lot of water onhand to make sure I wasn’t dehydrated by the end of the movie. That’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
It’s a Nicholas Sparks adaptation. Zac Efron plays a Marine who finds a picture of Taylor Schilling in Iraq. He survives an attack that wipes out all of his friends and he feels as if it was because he was destined to find the woman in the picture. She tracks her down to Louisiana, where she’s living with her mother (Blythe Danner) and her sensitive son (Riley Thomas Stewart) and where she’s still struggling to accept the death of her brother in Iraq. Zac Efron could have avoided a lot of drama by showing her the picture as soon as he arrived at her beautiful home but instead, he takes a job as a handyman around the house. If he had avoided the drama, there would be no movie!
It’s really overdramatic because, of course, Taylor Schilling’s ex-husband (Jay R. Ferguson) is the son of the most powerful man in town and he keeps threatening to take away his son. It doesn’t matter though because Zac Efron plays a sweet man with a damaged soul, a man who never yells and who encourages Taylor’s son to play the violin and who serves as a strong male role model while all the other men in town are too busy sucking up to Ferguson’s father. Zac Efron loves dogs and long walks. He plays chess. He plays the piano. He’s served his country. And he says, “You should be kissed every day, every hour, every minute.” Don’t bother me with reality, I’m too busy over here swooning.
The Lucky One is a good movie for Valentine’s Day. Any other day, maybe it wouldn’t be so good. But for Valentine’s Day, it’s great!
My sister asked me to watch and review this one. I’ll have to remember to thank her for that.
A group of cheerleaders go to a cheerleading camp for the summer. In between all of the usual camp shenanigans, someone is killing the cheerleaders. Alison (Betsy Russell) seems like the likeliest suspect because she keeps having weird dreams and is really possessive of her unfaithful boyfriend, Brent (Leif Garrett). Is Alison the murderer or is she being set up? Cheerleading is a cut-throat business so anything is possible.
As a former cheerleader, there were a few scenes that I could relate to. Alison has the same nightmare that I used to have all through high school, where you show up for the game late, you have to put on your uniform in such a rush that you don’t even have time to put on a bra, and then you run out on the field and no one’s there. I had that dream a hundred times. And the movie was right about everyone making fun of the mascot. I felt bad for Cory (Lucinda Dickey).
Overall, the movie left me with some questions. The main one was whether or not these were supposed to be high school or college cheerleaders. Some of them looked really old to still be in high school. Brent had a receding hairline. I also wondered why there was a pervy fat guy on Alison’s cheerleading squad. There’s nothing wrong with male cheerleaders but I would not be comfortable with a male cheerleader who kept trying to see all of the other cheerleaders naked. Finally, I wondered how everyone at the camp could be so stupid. Why would anyone stay after the first dead body is found? I liked Alison but even I groaned when she picked up a bloody meat cleaver. Girl, that’s evidence! Don’t get your fingerprints on that! I also figured out who the murderer was after the first fifteen minutes. It was pretty obvious.
I enjoyed cheering but I’m glad I never went to that cheerleader camp. Most of the routines were awful and everyone ended up dead. It’s not worth it.
The sad truth of the matter is that the Friday the 13th films haven’t done much for the New Jersey summer camp industry.
Seriously, Crystal Lake is such a pretty location. The lake looks beautiful with the sun rising over it and the water literally beckons you to toss off all your clothes and go for a swim. The woods feature green trees and are full of animals and mysterious shacks. The nearby town is home to people like Enos the Truck Driver, Ralph the Prophet, and a countless number of waitresses who will give you directions and gossip if you ask politely. And then you’ve got Camp Crystal Lake, which has cabins and a generator and an archery range and a lot of outdoor showers. Seriously, Camp Crystal Lake encompasses the natural beauty that New Jersey was once known for.
Unfortunately, none of that matters. A few stupid camp counselors managed to get themselves killed by Betsy Palmer and now, no one wants to go to New Jersey anymore. Before Friday the 13th, New Jersey was a state for the entire family. After Friday the 13th, it became a state for a different sort of family. My point is that the Friday the 13th films are directly responsible for the Mafia taking over New Jersey. I don’t care how much they blame Lucky Luciano. Jason Voorhees is responsible for organized crime.
Anyway, that’s my long-winded explanation for why no one wants to vacation at Camp Crystal Lake anymore. It’s now known as Camp Blood and no one wants to hang out at a place where they might get killed or, even worse, get lost in the Pine Barrens. Instead, people decide to vacation at much safer locations …. like Camp Murder!
2020’s Camp Murder takes place at the camp of the same nickname. Throughout the film, everyone talks about what a dump Camp Murder is but, from what we see of it, it looks perfectly pleasant. It might be a little isolated and a little neglected but it hardly seems like the Hellhole that everyone keeps describing. A group of people are vacationing at Camp Murder, secure in the knowledge that infamous murderer “Terrible” Tommy Heller (Jeff Kirkendall) has been safely locked away from 25 years. Except — uh oh! — Tommy’s escaped! Dr. Lewis (Noyes J. Lawton) is searching for him but will he be able to find him before Tommy has wiped out the majority of the cast?
Camp Murder is one of Mark Polonia’s cheerfully low-budget horror films. Polonia specializes in horror-on-budget. His films aren’t exactly good but they’re made and often performed with such enthusiasm that it’s easier to forgive their flaws than certain other low-budget entries in the genre. When it comes to a Polonia film, you know what you’re going to get so I’m going to focus on two positive aspects of the film.
First off, Terrible Tommy is actually a pretty effective villain. His mask is genuinely disturbing and Jeff Kirkendall is properly menacing and relentless in the role.
Second, there’s a shot of two women walking towards a deserted barn that is actually effectively creepy.
As for the rest of the film, the pace is slow and the acting is often amateurish. Some of the gore effects work. It’s a shot-on-video slasher film. You know what you’re getting into when you starting watching it. The tourism industry will survive Camp Murder and that’s a good thing.
In 1984’s The Initiation, Daphne Zuniga plays Kelly Fairchild, a college student who is haunted by a recurring nightmare in which she, as a child, watches a man get burned alive in her childhood home. Kelly, who can’t remember anything about her life before the age of ten, signs up for sleep study but her mother, Francesca (Vera Miles), strictly forbids it. Kelly is far too busy and far too rich to have her dreams analyzed.
And really, Kelly does have a lot going on in her life at the moment. She’s a student at SMU. She’s pledging to a sorority. Her father (Clu Gulager) owns one of Dallas’s biggest department stores and Kelly has the key so that the sorority pledges can spend the night inside the “deserted” building. Sure, a patient with extensive burn scars has recently escaped from a mental hospital but what could that possibly have to do with Kelly and her disturbing dreams?
The Initiation is a film that takes a while to really get going. The film spends a lot of time on just Kelly walking around the SMU campus and visiting her parents in Highland Park. Eventually, though, Kelly, Marcia (Marilyn Kagan), and Alison (Hunter Tylo) spend the night in that store, which is not quite as deserted as they were told. Not only is the president of the sorority there to play pranks but she’s invited along three goofy guys to add to the fun. Of course, there’s also the mysterious killer who proceeds to start picking everyone off, one-by-one.
The Initiation is a film that I like for a couple of reasons. One of them is that, whenever I watch this movie, I find myself shouting, “I’ve been there!” This film was set and filmed in Dallas and it accomplishes the near-impossible task of actually making the SMU campus look vaguely interesting. (SMU may be a top college but the campus has always been a bit on the dull side.) SMU is a college that I once wanted to go to, at least until I saw how much it would cost and my guidance counselor saw how unimpressive my grades were in high school. Instead, I went to UNT but I still spent a lot of time around the SMU campus because it was right next do to my favorite movie theater, the Dallas Angelika.
Meanwhile, the department store is played by Dallas Market Center. I can only imagine that trouble that the production went through to get permission to shoot there. That said, I have to admit that I found the “Vendors only” signs that appeared on several doors to be distracting. (The Dallas Market Center is largely used for trade shows.) Still, it was a good and atmospheric location for the slasher mayhem.
While it does take a while for that mayhem to start, the kills are all memorably nasty and bloody and actually rather frightening. I’ve always felt that, if you’re going to make a movie like this, you should go all out. There should just be blood and guts everywhere and The Initiation doesn’t shy away from that. The fact that the victims are largely played by likable actors only makes the deaths more effective.
Finally, The Initiation ends with one of those totally out-there twists that a viewer like me just can’t help but love. It’s a totally ludicrous twist but it’s just so weird and random that it was impossible not to enjoy.
Now, to be clear, The Initiation is not a lost classic. As I mentioned earlier, it takes a while for the action to really get started and there are a few early scenes that definitely drag. The film’s original director was fired after shooting began and, as a result, the film itself feels a bit disjointed. It’s obvious that the original director had a much different vision than the director who replaced him. But, even with all that taken into account, The Initiation is still a hundred times more effective than it probably has any right to be. It’s ultimately an effective and memorable slasher film.
1984’s Silent Madness opens in a mental hospital in New Jersey. In order to cut down on costs, the hospital’s administrators have been giving early release to some of their patients. Dr. Joan Gilmore (Belinda Montgomery) has only been on staff for a few months but even she knows that there’s a risk that a truly dangerous patient could be released. Dr. Gilmore’s worries come true when a homicidal patient named Howard Johns (Solly Marx) disappears from the hospital. Apparently, a computer errors led to Howard being released instead of a patient with a similar name.
Oh, someone screwed up big time!
Or, at least, that’s what Joan believes. In a scene that has to be seen to be believed, the arrogant Dr. Kruger (Roderick Cook) attempts to convince Joan that Howard Johns actually died a while ago and that’s why he’s not in the hospital anymore. Joan demands to see a death certificate. Dr. Kruger is like, “Oh, I don’t know where it is. We’ll have to look for it.” Yeah, that’s the same thing I used to say in college whenever I was running behind on my paying my credit card. “Really? I never received that bill. Can you send it again?”
Knowing that Howard was imprisoned after committing several murders at a sorority house in upstate New York, Joan theorizes that he’s heading back to the college so that he can pick up where he left off. Pretending to be a former member of the sorority, Joan meets the aging house mother, Mrs. Collins (Viveca Lindfors). Mrs. Collins — who often refers to younger women as being “whores” — tells a story of how a hazing ritual gone wrong led to handyman Howard grabbing a nail gun and wiping out a pledge class. When Joan actually spots Howard on campus, she tries to get the sheriff (Sydney Lassick) to do something about it. The sheriff replies that Joan must be seeing things because the hospital called and reported that Howard is deceased. The sheriff than has a beer because he’s the best character in the entire film.
Howard, needless to say, is not dead. He’s hiding out in the sorority house and he’s continuing in his murderous ways. We don’t really learn much about Howard. As the title suggests, he’s a silent killer. That works to the film’s advantage. A silent killer is far more intimidating than one who spends all of his time coming up with bad puns. Because Silent Madness was originally filmed in 3D, Howard enjoys throwing axes and firing nail guns, often straight at the camera.
Silent Madness is a thoroughly ludicrous film but it’s enjoyable as a product of its time. It’s hard not to smile at the thought of a theatrical audience ducking as Howard throws an axe at the camera in 3D. Howard is a properly intimidating killer but the film is totally stolen by Roderick Cook, Viveca Lindfors, and Sydney Lassick, three veteran actors who knew better than to even try to be subtle while appearing in a film like this. Lassick’s performance as the cowardly sheriff is especially enjoyable. We all know that law enforcement is useless in a slasher film. Lassick’s sheriff seems to understand this as well. He’d rather just stay in his office and who can blame him?
Silent Madness is silly and kind of dumb but it’s undeniably entertaining.
Since today is Friday the 13th, I decided to review a film called Scream….
No, not thatScream.
This Scream came out in 1981. It’s a slasher film but instead of featuring the usual collection of teenage victims, the victims in Scream are largely a collection of middle-aged tourists who are played a motely collection of former sitcom stars and western veterans. Even Ethan Wayne, the son of John Wayne, makes an appearance, playing a potential victim named Stan.
The film imagines what would happen if a bunch of tourists who were exploring the Rio Grande decided to spend the night in an apparently deserted ghost town. Speaking for myself, I would have never decided to sleep in a deserted town, especially one that isn’t even on a map. I mean, those places are called ghost towns for a reason. Even if they’re not haunted by ghosts, they are probably home to snakes, spiders, and all sorts of bugs. Considering that these people have camping gear with them, I’m not sure why they decided it would be smart to just sleep in an abandoned building. This is where the film’s use of adult victims really backfires. It’s easier to accept teenagers and 20-something doing something stupid. When it’s a bunch of people heading towards 40 and 50 (and even older in some cases), you can’t help but feel that they have no one but themselves to blame.
The murders begin on the first night. Needless to say, the survivors decide to find somewhere else to sleep but they discover that their rafts have been cut apart. They’re trapped in the town. Some of them leave to try to find a nearby ranch. Everyone else stays in the town and tries not to fall victim to the unseen killer.
And then Woody Strode shows up.
Oh, poor Woody Strode. Woody Strode was in his late 60 when he appeared in this film. In his youth, he was one of the first black men to play in the NFL. When he went into acting, he became a favorite of John Ford’s. In The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, he was John Wayne’s best friend. In Sergeant Ruteledge, he had a rare lead role as man falsely accused of murdering a white woman. In Stanley Kubrick’s Spartacus, he was the gladiator whose defiant death sparked Spartacus’s rebellion. In Sergio Leone’s Once Upon A Time In The West, he was one of he gunmen waiting for Charles Bronson at the train station. Woody Strode had a long career and he broke a lot of barriers.
In Scream, Woody Strode plays Charlie, who claims that he’s spent forty years searching for the invisible killer who is currently terrorizing the tourists. It must be said that Strode gives the best performance in the film. He delivers his dialogue with a natural authority and, if you needed someone to defend you from an invisible killer with a scythe, Charlie is definitely who you would want to call. That said, Charlie wanders off for a good deal of the film. We never really find out where Charlie went off to. He returns eventually but not before the remaining survivors have managed to do several stupid things.
Scream is a pretty dull film, one that doesn’t even take advantage of its potentially atmospheric location. Watching it, one gets the feeling that everyone involved just made it up as they went along. It’s interesting to see a slasher film in which the victims are not a bunch of teenagers or camp counselors but otherwise, Scream is nothing to scream about.
“There’s something wrong with Ben.” — Lucy Pinborough
Primate is the kind of nasty little horror movie that knows exactly what it is: a killer-chimp siege flick with a mean streak, a surprising amount of craft, and just enough emotional texture to keep it from feeling like pure junk food. It is also, very unapologetically, a January-release bloodbath built around one simple promise: you came to watch a chimp rip people apart, and the film is absolutely going to deliver on that.
Set on a remote, luxury house carved into a Hawaiian cliffside, Primate follows Lucy, a college student returning home to her deaf father Adam, younger sister Erin, and Ben—their adopted chimpanzee, who has been taught to communicate using a custom soundboard. The setup leans a bit into family melodrama and awkward-friends-on-vacation vibes: Lucy brings her buddies Kate and Nick, Kate drags along wildcard Hannah, and a pair of party bros, Drew and Brad, orbit the group on the way to a weekend of drinking by the infinity pool. Things tilt into horror when Ben is bitten by a rabid mongoose, starts behaving erratically, and eventually tears the face off the local vet before busting out of his enclosure and turning the house into a kill zone. From there, the movie pretty much drops the pretense of being about anything except survival, creative carnage, and the miserable logistics of trying to outrun a furious primate on a cliff.
Director Johannes Roberts, who previously did 47 Meters Down and The Strangers: Prey at Night, brings that same B-movie efficiency here—minimal fat, fast escalation, and a willingness to lean into the ridiculous without winking too hard. Once Ben escapes, the film basically becomes a series of tightly staged, high-tension set pieces: kids trapped in a pool while a chimp stalks the edge, frantic dashes through glass corridors, and messy, up-close attacks where you really feel the weight and speed of the animal. The pool sequence in particular is a great example of Roberts finding one strong visual idea—humans stranded in water because the predator can’t swim—and milking it for all the dread he can. It’s simple, almost old-fashioned monster-movie blocking, but it works because the geography is clear and the danger feels immediate rather than abstract.
Visually, the film is punching above what you might expect from “rabid chimp horror.” The cliffside house setting gives Roberts and his team a lot to play with: long glass walls, sharp drops, tight stairwells, and that infinity pool hanging over nothing. The camera favors clean, legible compositions instead of frantic shaky-cam, which means when the violence happens, you actually see it—and the movie is proud of that. There’s a grimy 80s-video-store energy to the way kills are framed and lingered on just long enough to be uncomfortable, but not so long that they turn into camp. Adrian Johnston’s synth-heavy score leans into that retro horror vibe too; it buzzes and screeches like someone let a demon loose on a cheap keyboard, and it matches the film’s mix of nasty and playful pretty well.
The real secret weapon here is Ben himself. Rather than going full CGI or trying to work with a real chimp, the production uses a combination of suit performance, animatronics, and careful staging, with Miguel Torres Umba giving the creature its physical personality. The result is surprisingly convincing; there are stretches where it feels like you’re watching a real animal charge people on stairs or slam into doors, which makes the violence land harder. You can tell the effects team put in serious work on the costume and facial mechanics—Ben’s expressions shift from confused, childlike attachment to full-on feral rage, and that emotional readability helps sell him as a character instead of just a prop. Importantly, the film avoids the “PS3 cutscene” problem of bad CG animals, which would have killed the tension immediately.
Performance-wise, this is very much “do your job and don’t get in the way” acting, and that’s mostly a compliment. Johnny Sequoyah makes Lucy feel grounded enough that you buy her as both final girl and guilty older sister who’s been away too long. Troy Kotsur, as Adam, is probably the standout human presence; his scenes use sign language not as a gimmick, but as part of how the family actually lives, and his mixture of vulnerability and stubbornness gives the movie a little heart. The rest of the cast—Jessica Alexander, Victoria Wyant, Gia Hunter, Benjamin Cheng, and the cannon-fodder guys—do what’s asked: they feel like actual young adults rather than complete idiots, which helps when the film needs you to invest in whether they make it out. Nobody is delivering awards-caliber work, but nobody is embarrassing themselves either, and in a film where a chimp tears someone’s jaw off, that’s honestly the sweet spot.
Tonally, Primate walks a line between brutal and darkly funny, and your mileage will depend on how much you enjoy mean-spirited genre films. This is not a movie that’s precious about its characters; the script makes it clear that almost anyone can get obliterated at any moment, and the kill scenes are loud, wet, and often abrupt. There’s a streak of black comedy in how casually some of the deaths happen—a rock to the head here, a shovel to the face there—but Roberts never tips fully into self-parody. At the same time, the film does gesture at something sadder in the idea of a beloved family member suddenly turning dangerous because of a disease, and in the way Lucy has to reconcile her childhood bond with Ben with the reality of what he’s become. The movie doesn’t dig into that theme deeply, but it’s present enough to keep things from feeling completely hollow.
Where Primate stumbles is mostly in its limitations, and whether those feel like flaws or just genre boundaries will depend on what you’re looking for. The script is extremely straightforward: characters have clear, basic motivations, relationships are sketched in a few lines, and then everyone gets funneled into the survival engine. If you want layered character work, subtext about animal ethics, or a big commentary on captivity and communication, this is not that movie, even though the setup with a sign-literate chimp and a linguist mother hints at richer territory. The film also indulges in the usual horror conveniences—texts ignored, warnings missed, people splitting up when they probably shouldn’t—though to its credit, the characters generally behave less stupidly once they understand the situation. And as gnarly as the gore is, the movie’s reliance on shock and escalation can make the back half feel a bit repetitive: Ben appears, someone gets mauled, survivors scramble, repeat.
From an honesty standpoint, Primate is absolutely worth watching if you have a soft spot for creature-features, killer-animal movies, or throwback 80s-style horror that doesn’t pretend to be more than a vicious good time. It’s tightly paced, well shot, and anchored by a genuinely impressive creature performance that justifies the whole exercise. If you’re squeamish about animal violence, or you want your horror to come with metaphor, political commentary, or emotional catharsis, you’ll probably bounce off this pretty quickly. But if you can meet it on its own trashy, committed wavelength, there’s something satisfying about watching a studio-backed film go this hard, this graphically, on such a simple premise. It feels like the kind of bloody, fast-moving B-movie you’d have rented on VHS for a sleepover, only now it’s playing in theaters with a slicker finish and a killer chimp named Ben waiting to wreck your night.