The Films of 2024: One More Shot (dir by James Nunn)


It’s the night of the President’s State of the Union address and it appears that someone is planning to blow up the capital and spare everyone from having to sit through it.  (Personally, I’ve always found the pomp and circumstance surrounding the State of the Union address to be the opposite of what the Founding Fathers probably envisioned.  Presidents should go back to just sending Congress a note at the start of the year.)  Unfortunately, the bomb itself is radioactive so, though Americans will be spared the speech, Washington D.C. will still be reduced to an atomic wasteland.  Canceling the speech and the special Congressional session seems like an obvious solution but the President’s approval ratings are tanking and he’s hoping a good State of the Union will energize his reelection campaign.

Navy SEAL Jake Harris (Scott Adkins) has been tasked with escorting terrorist suspect Amin Mansur  (Waleed Elgadi) from Poland to Washington so that CIA director Mike Marshall (Tom Berenger, looking generally annoyed) can interrogate Mansur about the location of the bomb.  A Baltimore airport has been cleared out so that Mansur can be transferred to FBI custody with as little attention as possible.  Marshall takes a few minutes to yell at Jake, because this is an action film and action heroes always get yelled at by their superiors.  No sooner has Jake been yelled at then a bunch of mercenaries attack the airport.  It turns out that they also want Mansur and they’re willing to kill everyone in the airport to both get him and to make sure that the bomb is properly delivered.

Jake finds himself fighting for his life and also in the position of having to protect the terrorist that he brought to America.  However, as the night progresses, Jake discovers that Mansur is not the terrorist mastermind that he assumed and that the mercenaries are working for an enemy who is very close to home.

One More Shot is a sequel to 2021’s One Shot and, like that film, it’s shot and edited to make it appear as if the action is playing out in one continuous take.  The camera never seems to stop roaming through the airport, occasionally catching a mercenary or sometimes even Jake hiding in the shadows and waiting for a chance to attack.  It’s a gimmick but it’s an undeniably effective gimmick, one that is especially well-used in the film’s many battle scenes and which keeps the audience on its toes.  One More Shot has some of the most effective gunfights that I’ve recently seen and a lengthy sequence where Jake, Mansur, and a few others attempts to drive their way through a gauntlet of mercenaries is as genuinely exciting as anything you’d expect to find in an action film with bigger budget.

In the end, One More Shot feels like a video game come to life, with everything that implies.  One More Shot is an unapologetic action film, which is to say that this is not the film to watch if you’re looking for extensive character development or a nuanced debate about terrorism and American foreign policy.  We don’t really find out much about Jake Harris, other than the fact that he’s a good shot and he’s not easily intimidated.  Of course, that’s all we really need to know.  It’s an exiting 100 minutes and that’s all that it really needs to be.

Real Men (1987, directed by Dennis Feldman)


Due to a chemical spill that is spreading through the ocean, life on Earth is going to end in five years unless something is done.  A group of friendly alien offer to give Earth either the “Good Package” or the “Big Gun.”  The Good Package can clean up the ocean.  The Big Gun is a big gun.  They both sound good to me!  The aliens only want a glass of water in return and they want that glass to be delivered by CIA Agent Pillbox.

Unfortunately, Pillbox has been killed in the field so the government tracks down a meek office worker named Bob Wilson (John Ritter) who looks just like Pillbox.  Tough and streetwise Nick Pirandello (Jim Belushi) is sent to recruit Bob and take him to the aliens.  Trying to stop Nick and Bob are a group of rogue CIA agents who would rather get the Big Gun than the Good Package.  Nick teaches Bob how to be a “real man” and Bob teaches Nick how to be a real friend.  They also beat up clowns.

A box office failure that did even worse with the critics, Real Men is a movie that was saved by cable.  When I was a kid, Real Men used to show up on HBO all the time.  Whatever flaws the film may have had, the mix of John Ritter’s physical comedy, Jim Belushi’s wiseguy attitude, and the action scenes made it the type of movie that was ideal for home viewing, especially if you had just gotten out of school and wanted to watch something before your parents came home and asked if you had done your homework.  Real Men was fun enough to hold up to repeat viewings but it was also slight enough that it wasn’t a huge tragedy if the channel got changed before the movie ended.

When I rewatched Real Men, I thought the film’s storytelling could have been tighter but it still turned out to be better than I was expecting.  There were a lot of classic buddy movies released in the 80s and while Real Men may not be the equivalent of a 48 Hours or a Midnight Run, John Ritter and Jim Belushi are still an entertainingly mismatched team.  Ritter again shows that he was a master at physical comedy while Belushi provides sarcastic commentary from the side.  A lot of the odd couple-style banter is predictable (Bob doesn’t smoke but Nick does) but Ritter and Belushi deliver their lines with enough conviction to still make it work.  Nick teaches Bob to believe in himself and Bob is able to both save the world and tell off the neighborhood bullies.  The film’s mix of action, science fiction, and broad comedy confounded critics in 1987 but it holds up today.

The Eric Roberts Collection: The Rebels of PT-218 (dir by Nick Lyon)


The 2021 film, The Rebels of PT-218, takes place in 1943.

At the height of World War II, the Allies are on the verge of invading Italy and moving into Europe.  General Omar Bradley (played by William Baldwin, who looks like Alec but sounds like Stephen) orders the SS Lawton, a small torpedo boat to help secure the port of Solano.  It won’t be easy.  The Atlantic Ocean is full of German U-boats and the Lawton is built to move cargo, not fight battles.  But the Lawton is still the most powerful boat in the area and General Bradley believes in the abilities of the Lawton’s commander, Lt. William Snow (Eric Roberts).

However, Snow is eager to get into combat and defeat the Germans.  In fact, he’s so gung ho to fight that some of Bradley’s assistants feel that Lt. Snow’s judgment can’t be trusted.  Commander Barnes (Noah Blake) tells Ensign Kenneth Ford (Geoff Meed) to keep an eye on Snow and do everything he can to keep Lt. Snow on track.

The men of the SS Lawton, meanwhile, just want to man the guns, launch the torpedoes, and stop the Germans.  They’re from all over the United States but they’ll be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a war film.  Some of them are naive.  Some of them are cocky and streetwise.  One of them is played by Danny Trejo!  Trejo plays Cookie, a former gunner turned cook.  He delights in serving chorizos for dinner.  Cookie has a mustache and a pony tail, which definitely do not feel like they would be within Navy regulations.  After Cookie is wounded in action, a crewman tosses Cookie a machete and Trejo smiles like a man who has waited his entire life for that exact moment.

Historical accuracy?  Who needs historical accuracy when you’ve got Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts in the same movie?  Obviously, both Roberts and Trejo are a bit too old for their roles.  Cookie would have probably retired from the Navy long before the bombing of Pearl Harbor.  As for Roberts, one has to worry about any officer who is clearly in his 70s and still hasn’t achieved a rank higher than lieutenant.  When Snow expresses his ambition to be promoted, you have to wonder if he’s hoping to be the world’s oldest admiral.

This film is an attempt to do an epic war story on a budget and it doesn’t quite work.  One never feels that any of the characters are waking up everyday with the knowledge that this could be the day that they die.  The ship and all of the characters are remarkably clean and fresh-faced throughout the film, with none of the grime nor grit that would have given the story a realistic edge.  That said, Danny Trejo gets a few good lines and it’s always fun to watch Eric Roberts play an authority figure.  In the end, the important thing is that America won.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  12. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  13. Hey You (2006)
  14. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  15. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  16. The Expendables (2010) 
  17. Sharktopus (2010)
  18. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  19. Deadline (2012)
  20. The Mark (2012)
  21. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  22. Lovelace (2013)
  23. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  24. Self-Storage (2013)
  25. This Is Our Time (2013)
  26. Inherent Vice (2014)
  27. Road to the Open (2014)
  28. Rumors of War (2014)
  29. Amityville Death House (2015)
  30. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  31. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  32. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  33. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  34. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  35. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  36. Dark Image (2017)
  37. Black Wake (2018)
  38. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  39. Clinton Island (2019)
  40. Monster Island (2019)
  41. The Savant (2019)
  42. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  43. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  44. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  45. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  46. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  47. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  48. Top Gunner (2020)
  49. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  50. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  51. Killer Advice (2021)
  52. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  53. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  54. Bleach (2022)
  55. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  56. Aftermath (2024)

The Films of 2024: Lights Out (dir by Christian Sesma)


Duffy (Frank Grillo) is haunted by the past.  When he was serving in the U.S. military, he watched as his friends and fellow soldiers were killed in battle.  Now that he’s back in America, he’s haunted by the memories and the trauma has left him incapable of finding peace.  He’s angry and paranoid and restless.  He drifts around the country, making whatever money that he can as a gambler.  But when a poker game at a Los Angeles roadhouse leads to a physical confrontation, Duffy is offered a new opportunity.

Max (Mekhi Phifer) watches as Duffy defends himself and is impressed with what he sees.  Max is a ex-con who works as a recruiter for underground fight clubs.  Max recognizes the source of Duffy’s anger because Max’s brother was also a veteran who returned to America carrying the mental and physical scars of war.  Max feels that he failed his brother but maybe he can make up for it by saving Duffy’s life.  Max recruits Duffy as a fighter and gives him a place to live.  Duffy and Max soon find themselves in conflict with an evil gym owner (Dermot Mulroney, making the most of a rare villainous role) and a corrupt cop (Jaime King) who is secretly in charge of the town’s underground fight scene.

Lights Out is a fast-paced and occasionally self-aware B-movie.  I always find movies like this fascinating because they present a world where there’s an underground fight club located in every backroom and lumber yard.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that there aren’t underground fight clubs.  I’m sure they’re out there and I’m sure that there are some dangerous people involved in promoting them.  I’m just saying that I kind of suspect that there might not be as many of them as there tends to be in the movies.  I always find it interesting that so many underground fight clubs seem to have a “fight until the death” rule.  I mean, it seems to me that would cause you to quickly run out of fighters.  I also wonder what people do when they want to start an underground fight club but they don’t have access to an abandoned warehouse or any acquaintances in the Russian Mafia.  I guess those people are just screwed.

While Mulroney and King definitely make an impression as the two over-the-top villains, Lights Out is dominated by Frank Grillo.  Grillo has been lucky enough to be blessed with a down-to-Earth screen presence that allows him to be likable while also leaving little doubt that he is someone who can handle himself in a fight.  He has the weathered good looks of some one who has seen some things but who hasn’t yet surrendered his humanity.  He’s like the modern day version of one of those wonderful character actors who used to populate the gangster movies of the 1930s.  Grillo’s tough sincerity and streetwise persona is well-used here.  John Garfield had his Body and Soul.  Frank Grillo has his Lights Out.

Mission of Justice (1992, directed by Steve Barnett)


Suspended from the police force because he does thing his way and doesn’t follow the book, martial artist Kurt Harris (Jeff Wincott) joins the Peacekeepers, a Guardian Angel-like group that is led by Dr. Rachel K. Larkin (Brigitte Nielsen).  Larkin is running for mayor on a law-and-order platform.  Just as the Peacekeepers have protected the local bodegas, Dr. Larkin will clean up the streets.

Kurt has a reason beyond just bitterness for joining the Peacekeepers.  Kurt suspects that the Peacekeepers is actually a criminal enterprise and that they are responsible for the murder of his mentor, Cedric Williams (Tony Burton, who does not throw the damn towel when confronted by the bad guys).

There were some good fight scenes and the idea of the Peacekeepers hiding their crimes behind their vigilante activities was an interesting one. The Peacekeepers were obviously based on New York’s Guardian Angels and it’s interesting that both the leader of the Angels and the leader of the Peacekeepers ended up running for mayor.  Of course, Curt Sliwa’s campaign was not as destructive or evil as Dr. Larkin’s.  In fact, I wasn’t really sure why Dr. Larkin was running for mayor, out of all the things that she could have done with her money and her paramilitary force.

Brigitte Nielsen always makes a good villain and the movie also features dependable straight-to-video action mainstays like Matthias Hues, Luca Bercovivi, and Karen Sheperd.  Unfortunately, Jeff Wincott was always one of the blandest of the 90s second tier action heroes, lacking the charisma of a Dolph Lundgren, a Jean-Claude Van Damme, or even as Steven Seagal.  Wincott was the star you called only after exhausting every attempt to sign Lorenzo Lamas.  Wincott is convincing when he’s throwing a punch or kicking someone in the face but when he has to show emotion or deliver dialogue, the movie come to a halt.

With a more charismatic star, Mission of Justice could have been a B-classic but instead, it’s just another forgettable straight-to-video action movie.

The TSL Grindhouse: Locked Up (dir by Jared Cohn)


The 2017 film Locked Up tells the story of Mallory (Kelly McCart).

Mallory is not having a great life.  Her wealthy father has relocated to an unnamed county in Southern Asia.  (The film was shot in Thailand but the uniforms that we see various officials wearing seem more appropriate for North Korea.)  Mallory lives with her Uncle Tommy (Jared Cohen), who is Mallory’s legal guardian while her father is off doing whatever it is that he does.  Mallory goes to a school where she is the only American and certainly the only redhead.  She is bullied to such an extent that she finally snaps and punches another student.  Mallory is promptly arrested and sentenced to the country’s version of reform school.

When Tommy and Mallory first arrive at the facility, it seems to be clean and welcoming.  The Warden (Maythavee Burapasing) appears to be friendly and compassionate.  It seems like the type of place that all of us bleeding hearts are always insisting that we need here in America.  It’s only after Tommy leaves that the truth is revealed.  The reform school is actually a prison and the Warden is a sadistic tyrant.  Mallory is tossed into a filthy cell with several other girls and ordered to strip while everyone watches.  One of Mallory’s cellmates, Kat (Katrina Grey), orders Mallory not to cry because Kat doesn’t want the sound of her tears keeping her awake at night.

After manipulating Mallory into signing a document that says she doesn’t want her uncle to visit her in prison, The Warden reveals that she enjoys watching the prisoners fight.  She informs Mallory that she has two weeks to prepare for her first fight and that, if Mallory doesn’t fight, she will be gang raped twice a week for as long as she remains in the prison.  Mallory, having no experience with fighting (despite having hit that one student hard enough to get sentenced to confinement), begs Kat to train her.  At first reluctant, Kat eventually agrees.  But can even Kat’s training prepare Mallory for a fight against the fearsome Riza (Anastasia Maslova)?

If this all sounds rather exploitive, that’s because it is.  The film hit every sordid women-in-prison cliche with the efficiency of well-wound clock.  In fact, it’s so dedicated to hitting all of the expected beats that it actually becomes a bit comical at times.  Less than a minute after she enters her cell, Mallory has another inmate talking about how cute she is and sniffing her neck.  Mallory and Kat’s fight training inevitably leads to a shower room sex scene and Kat talking about how she’s in prison because her boyfriend convinced her to be a drug smuggler.  Meanwhile, because she is determined to turn Riza into a killing machine, The Warden personally injects steroids into Riza’s neck.  It’s all so shameless that you can’t help but appreciate the film’s audacity, even if there are several scenes (most of which involve the Warden’s threat to have the guards rape Mallory) that cross the line from being merely tasteless to being actually offensive.

Locked Up is an Asylum Production.  Like most Asylum films, it makes no excuses or apologies for being what it is.  (Regardless of how you feel about their films, it’s hard not to appreciate The Asylum’s honesty.)  In most ways, Locked Up is a pretty dumb movie but director Jared Cohen keeps the action moving quickly and The Warden is a properly hissable villain.  The Warden tells Mallory that her problem is that Americans have allowed themselves to become weak and, even if the film’s portrayal of Asia makes Midnight Express‘s portrayal of Turkey seem fair and balanced, it’s hard not to feel that the Warden has a point.  Get out there and fight, America!

The Films of 2024: Late Night With The Devil (dir by Colin Cairnes and Cameron Cairnes)


Late Night With The Devil is a truly frightening film.

Jack Deloy (David Dastmalchian) is the host of Night Owls, a late-night talk show.  Deloy has spent his entire television career competing against The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson.  Deloy has a loyal audience.  He has several Emmy awards.  But he has never been able to beat The Tonight Show in the ratings.  Even when he interviewed his dying wife (Georgina Haig) and got the biggest ratings of his career, he still finished second to Johnny Carson.  After his wife died, Deloy went into seclusion before eventually returning to his show.

It’s Halloween night in 1977 and Deloy is hosting a live broadcast of Night Owls.  He and his producer (John Quong Tart) are convinced that they’re finally going to achieve their goal of winning the ratings race.  On the show, they have the medium Christou (Faysal Bazzi).  They have Carmichael Haig (Ian Bliss), a pompous former magician who now makes his living by exposing charlatans.  They have parapsychologist June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) and Lilly (Ingrid Torelli), a young woman who claims to be possessed by a demon that she calls Mr. Wiggles.  Deloy’s sidekick Gus McConnell (Rhys Auteri) fears that it’s not a good idea to mess with the occult on Halloween night but Deloy is determined to get those ratings.  In fact, Deloy is willing to do just about anything for the ratings.

Opening with narration from Michael Ironside and introduced as being a documentary about what happened that mysterious night, Late Night With The Devil is a found footage horror film but, unlike a lot of films of the genre, it doesn’t get bogged down with people saying stuff like, “Are we recording?” or “Are you getting this?”  Instead, the film’s directors actually make good use of the format, suggesting that there might still be a spark of inspiration to be found in the found footage genre.  The contrast between the grainy color of the show and the stark black-and-white footage of what went on whenever the show went to commercial is one of the things that makes Late Night With The Devil so memorable.  It keeps the audience from getting too comfortable with what they’re watching and it’s a reminder that what one sees in a controlled environment (like a talk show) is often meant to hide the chaos lurking under the surface.  Towards the end of the episode, when the color footage goes from being grainy to suddenly being very bright and vivid, it’s truly unsettling.  (The film does such a good job of keeping the audience off-balance that the directors can even get away with abandoning the found footage format at a key moment.)  Late Night With The Devil does a wonderful job recreating the look and feel of an old late night talk show.  One look at the Night Owls set and you can literally smell the combination of stale cigarettes and outright desperation.  Looking at the ugly set and the tacky clothes, it’s easy to buy that we actually are watching some long-buried archival footage from 1977.  One reason why the film is frightening is because it feels authentic.

(And yes, it feels authentic despite the inclusion of some AI-images.  AI was used to create the intertitles that appear whenever Night Owls goes to commercial.  They appear for less than a minute and, if not for the online controversy, I never would have noticed them.)

David Dastmalchian plays Jack Deloy as being a showman who is an expert at manipulating the audience and who will do anything to get people to watch.  Still, even the most jaded horror fan will be shocked to see how far Jack Deloy is willing to go to win the ratings race.  (For all the supernatural elements of the film, nothing is more disturbing than its portrayal of human avarice.)  A major subplot deals with Jack’s membership in the Grove, a society of the wealthy and powerful that is based on the very real Bohemian Grove.  Bohemian Grove is, of course, a favorite of conspiracy theorists who assume that the rich and famous are up to all sorts of nefarious deeds whenever they gather for their annual meeting.  Those conspiracy theorists will find much to appreciate about Late Night With The Devil and Dastmalchian’s performance.  (Of course, one can also read Jon Ronson’s Them, which features an entire chapter about Ronson traveling to Bohemian Grove and discovering that what was advertised as being a day of dorky fun for the rich and powerful actually was just that.)

Obviously, many films did influence Late Night With The Devil.  The end credits begin with a land acknowledgment but it could have just as easily contained a film acknowledgment.  “The filmmakers acknowledge the influence of The Exorcist, Cannibal Holocaust, The Last Exorcism, the careers of James Randi, Uri Geller, and Sylvia Browne, Michelle Remembers, The Conjuring franchise, The Larry Sanders Show, the films of David Cronenberg, and Ghostwatch.”  It’s a testament to the skill of the directors and the cast that, despite all the obvious influence, Late Night With The Devil stands as an original and genuinely unsettling work of art.

Aftershock (1990, directed by Frank Harris)


It’s the future and society has collapsed.  America is now controlled by the evil Commander Eastern (Richard Lynch) who, with the help of a propagandist known as Big Sister and a paramilitary leader named Oliver Queen (John Saxon), rules with an iron hand.  Colonel Slater (Christopher Mitchum) is the leader of the revolution that threaten to overthrow Eastern’s regime.

Two revolutionaries, Wille (Jay Roberts, Jr.) and Danny (Chuck Jeffreys), are stuck in one of Eastern’s prison.  Every day, they fight for their lives and they wait for a chance to escape.  That chances come in the form of Sabrina (the beautiful Elizabeth Kaitan), an alien who lands on our planet under the mistaken assumption that Earth is an utopia.

When Sabrina, Willie, and Danny finally manage to escape, they have to make it to Slater’s headquarters while avoiding the bounty hunter (Chris DeRose) who Queen has been sent to capture them.

A fairly standard rip-off of the Mad Max films, the most interesting thing about Aftershock is the cast.  I already mentioned Mitchum, Saxon, Lynch, and Elizabeth Kaitan but there are also appearances from Russ Tamblyn, Michael Berryman, Matthias Hues, and Deanna Oliver.  For a movie that looks cheap and doesn’t really bring anything new to the postapocalyptic genre, there are a lot of very talented people in this movie.  (Even talented people have to pay the bills.)  Most of them are only on for a few minutes.  The instantly forgettable Jay Roberts, Jr. and Chuck Jeffreys are the actual stars here.  Jeffreys was a stunt man who was famous for his resemblance to Eddie Murphy.  He looks good in the action scenes but otherwise, he and Roberts don’t make much of an impression.

At least Elizabeth Kaitan gets a decent amount of screentime.  Kaitan appeared in a lot of movies in the 80s and 90s.  None of the movies were very good.  She got stuck with roles like the girlfriend in Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 and a victim in Friday The 13th Part VII.  Kaitan got roles primarily because she was beautiful but she had a likable screen presence and more than a little talent.  In Aftershock, she gives a convincing performance as a stranger in a strange land, one who has her own eccentric way of viewing things.  Her performance is the best thing about Aftershock and the main reason to watch.

 

 

The Films of 2024: Unfrosted (dir by Jerry Seinfeld)


Unfrosted is a thoroughly amiable and goofy comedy about the invention of the Pop Tart.

Taking place in an imaginary 1963, Unfrosted tells the story of the Cereal Wars.  Kellog’s and Post are competing for dominance in the kids breakfast food market, dominating the scene while the dour folks at Quaker can only shake their heads in holier-than-thou shame.  Bob Cabana (played by the film’s director, Jerry Seinfeld) is a Kellog’s exec who spends his day dealing with pompous cereal mascots (led by a hilarious Hugh Grant) and the somewhat random whims of his boss, Edsel Kellog III (Jim Gaffigan).  He dreams of someday having a lawn made out of sod and also having enough money to send his kids to a good college.  “Those colleges can cost $200 a year!” he says, at one point.

Life is good until he discovers that Post — headed up by Marjorie Post (Amy Schumer) — is developing a type of new breakfast food that could revolutionize the industry and dethrone Kellog’s as America’s top cereal company.  Bob gets Edsel’s permission to try to create something that will beat Post’s new product to the shelves.  But first, Bob has to go to NASA and convince brilliant engineer Donna “Stan” Stankowski (Melissa McCarthy) to abandon the moon project and return to Kellog’s.  “You know we’re never going to land on the moon,” Bob tells her.

Soon, the entire nation is riveted by the competition between Post and Kellog’s.  Walter Cronkite (Kyle Dunnigan) reports on every development, in between complaining about his wife and playing with silly putty.  The Russians decide to help Post, leading the world to the brink of nuclear war while President Kennedy (Bill Burr) spends his time with the Doublemint Twins.  Harry Friendly (Peter Dinklage), head of the milk syndicate, warns that kids better not stop eating cereal while Bob finds himself being menaced by a sinister milkman (Christian Slater).  A German scientist (Thomas Lennon) and Chef Boyardee (Bobby Moynihan) combine a sea monkey with a square of ravioli, leading to a new life form that lives in the Kellog’s ventilation system.  Steve Schwinn (Jack McBrayer), the bicycle guy, risks his life to test a prototype while a super computer is shipped to Vietnam and turns into Colonel Kurtz and….

Okay, you’re getting the idea.  This is a silly, joke-a-minute film that is in no way meant to be taken seriously.  It’s obvious that Seinfeld and his co-writers greatly amused themselves while writing the script and your amusement will depend on whether or not you’re on the same wavelength.  I enjoyed the film, because I love history and I love pop culture and I like random homages to other films.  Not all of the jokes landed.  There’s a lengthy Mad Men parody that, while funny, still feels several years too late.  But, for the most part, I enjoyed the amiable goofiness of it all.

Unfrosted is currently getting some savagely negative reviews but that has more to do with Seinfeld’s recent comment that the “extreme left” was ruining comedy.  Though most people would probably consider Seinfeld’s comment to be common sense (and would also realize that Seinfeld was condemning the “extreme” as opposed to liberalism in general), the online folks, many of whom were already angry over Seinfeld’s outspoken support of Israel, were scandalized and most mainstream film reviewers today never want to get on the bad side of an online mob, regardless of how annoying that mob may be.  (Even a positive review in The Hollywood Reporter contained an odd passage in which the reviewer seemed to beg forgiveness for giving a non-condemnatory review to a film made by someone on the other side.)  Of course, there are also some reviewers who are currently overpraising this film as a way to “own the libs.”  The fact that a film as silly and inoffensive as this one could suddenly find itself at the center of the culture war tends to prove Seinfeld’s point.

The important thing is that Unfrosted is amusing and, in the end, rather likable.  I enjoyed it.

Street (2015, directed by Bradford May)


After witnessing a fight between two criminals and a young man in a convenience store, Ozzy (Shashawnee Hall) decides to track the man down.  Ozzy owns a gym and he thinks that the man could be one of the next great MMA fighters.  When Ozzy finds Remo Street (Casper Smart), he offers Remo a job at his gym.  Street will just be cleaning up the place and serving as a sparring partner but he’ll also get to train for free.  Street agrees.

Street almost immediately runs afoul Ozzy’s main fighter, Greg (John Brickner).  Greg is the son of the gum’s co-owner, James (Gregory Fawcett), a gambling addict who is in debt to the Russian mob.  (Those same Russian mobsters are also forcing Street to fight in an underground fight club.)  Greg does not appreciate that way that Street looks at his sister, Jasmine (Kate Miner).  After Greg injures his usual sparring partner, Ozzy gives the job to Street.  Greg and Street have to train hard because the championship is coming up.

Though it may take place in the world of MMA, Street is a typical boxing film and it doesn’t bring anything new to the genre.  The fight scenes should be the highlight of the movie but they are so poorly edited that it’s hard to keep track of who is fighting who or who is winning.  The final fight, which should have been the film’s crowning moment, feels like an anti-climax.  The best boxing films emphasize the strategy and the training that the fighter uses to defeat his opponent but, in Street, we don’t even get to know who the fighters are or what their strengths are.  Casper Smart gives a likable performance in the title role but Street never scores a knockout.