Horror on the Lens: How To Make A Monster (dir by Herbert L. Strock)


You’ve seen I Was A Teenage Werewolf….

You’ve watched I Was A Teenage Frankenstein….

Now, it’s time to watch How To Make A Monster!

Released in 1958, How To Make A Monster is a clever little horror satire from American International Pictures in which the stars of Teenage Werewolf and Teenage Frankenstein are hypnotized into believing that they actually are the monsters that they played!  The main culprit is a movie makeup artist (Robert H. Harris) who has been deemed obsolete by the new bosses at AIP.

Be sure to watch for the finale, which features cameo appearances from several other AIP monsters!  And read my full review of the film by clicking here!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.10 “The Scapegoat”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey makes the mistake of being nice.

Episode 1.10 “The Scapegoat”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on December 16th, 1957)

Call this one “Casey Screws Up …. Again.”

Casey and Detective Hank Hopkins (John Connell) are escorting embezzler Dorothy Boyer (Lenka Peterson) to jail.  As they wait at an airport, Casey cannot help but feel sorry for Dorothy.  Everyone who sees Dorothy recoils from the sight of her handcuffs.  (“She’s a crook!” one little girl yells.)  Casey agrees to take off the handcuffs as long as Dorothy doesn’t try to run away.  Of course, as soon as Casey is distracted, Dorothy runs.

Casey and Hank try to track down Dorothy.  They discover that Dorothy was embezzling the money so that she could afford a special school for her son, who is repeatedly described as being “retarded” but whose noncommunicative behavior suggests that he would probably, today, be diagnosed as having some form of autism.  Casey and Hank fear that Dorothy is going to murder her child, to spare him from being sent to a “public institution” while she’s serving time in prison.

They’re right.  Dorothy is on the verge of throwing her son off a bridge when Casey, Hank, and the cops track her down.  Casey says that she understand why Dorothy is scared.  “You think your son will be sent to a public institution and people will be cruel to him!” Casey says.  “What about me?  I work for a public institution!  Was I cruel to you?”

“Who’s going to give love to a backward child!?” Dorothy cries.

Casey then taunts, “Go ahead, throw him over!”

This causes Dorothy to realize that she loves her son too much to toss him over the bridge.  The episode ends with Casey speaking directly to the camera.  Dorothy will only have to serve six months in prison.  As for Casey and Hank, they’re put on official probation for three months for letting Dorothy escape.  “You live and you learn,” Casey says.

This episode was a real time capsule.  Yes, it was weird to hear the term “retarded” tossed around so casually, though I found the term “backward child” to be far more offensive.  But, let’s be realistic here.  This show aired 1957 and it’s a bit silly to expect a 68 year-old television program to sound like it was written in 2025.  To me, what was really upsetting was how everyone that Casey talked to seemed to feel it was perfectly understandable that the father of Dorothy’s child abandoned Dorothy because of their son.  Everyone, except for Casey and Hank, acted as if Dorothy should be ashamed of her child.  To make clear, the show did not endorse that attitude but still, the callousness of almost everyone in Dorothy’s life was hard to take.  I was glad that Casey cared.

That said, I did cringe a bit at that “I work for a public institution” line.  One nice person does not signify a change in culture.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Conal Cochran Explains Halloween in Halloween III: Season of the Witch


Tonight’s horror scene that I love is from the underrated 1982 film, Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

In this scene, Conal Cochran (Dan O’Herlihy) explains not only the origins of Halloween but he also discusses how he’s going to make Halloween great again.  This scene is probably the best in the film and it’s almost entirely due to O’Herlihy’s wonderfully menacing performance as Conal Cochran.

“….and happy Halloween.”

 

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: 2010s Part Two


This October, I’m going to be doing something a little bit different with my contribution to 4 Shots From 4 Films.  I’m going to be taking a little chronological tour of the history of horror cinema, moving from decade to decade.

Today, we continue with the 2010s!

4 Shots From 4 Films

The Conjuring (2013, dir by James Wan)

The Conjuring (2013, dir by James Wan)

You're Next (2013, dir by Adam Wingard)

You’re Next (2013, dir by Adam Wingard)

The Babadook (2014, dir by Jennifer Kent)

The Babadook (2014, dir by Jennifer Kent)

It Follows (2015, dir by David Robert Mitchell)

It Follows (2015, dir by David Robert Mitchell)

October True Crime: Holy Spider (dir by Ali Abbasi)


2022’s Holy Spider opens in the Iranian city of Mashahd.  We follow a woman as she spend her night as a sex worker, standing on a street corners, going off with any man who stops for her, and hiding in the shadows whenever the infamous morality police are nearby.  There’s nothing glamorous about her work.  The men who pick her up are brutes who treat her like property and there’s little about the city that is beautiful or aesthetically pleasing.  If anything, it looks bombed-out, as if no one could be bothered to repair any of the obvious cracks that are stretching across the city ancient’s facade.  Towards the end of the night, the woman is picked up by a man who, in a harrowing scene, proceeds to choke her to death.

Journalist Arezoo Rahimi (Zar Amir Ebrahimi) arrives in the city to investigate the recent murders of several sex workers and immediately discovers that the authorities have no interest in discussing the case.  When she pushes them, they taunt her about her private life and they snap at her for not properly covering her hair.  Whenever she steps out into the street, she’s told that she’s going to get in trouble if she’s spotted by the Morality Police.  (The attitude appears to be that it’s a greater crime for a woman to fail to fully cover her hair than for a man to kill a woman, whether her hair is properly covered or not.)   Eventually, she teams up with a newspaper editor named Sharifi (Arash Ashtiani).  Sharifi has been receiving letters from the murderer, ones in which he explains that he is cleansing the city in the name of Imam Reza, the eighth Shia Imam.

The murderer is a construction worker named Saeed Azimi (Mehdi Bajestani), a middle-aged man who previously served in the Iraq-Iran War and who it is suggested might be suffering from PTSD.  On the outside, Saeed seems almost normal.  He has friends.  He has a family.  He is very religious.  To the outside viewer, he might not look like a killer.  But, every night, he prowls the streets and he searches for potential victims.  When Rahimi goes undercover as a sex worker, she comes close to becoming one of them.

More than just a recreation of a serial killer’s crimes, Holy Spider examines the misogynistic attitudes that allowed Saeed that get away with so many murders.  Saeed himself becomes a folk hero amongst many Iranians, who are quick to say that they agree with his mission to cleanse the city.  Even when on trial, Saeed is approached by members of the government who promise him his safety, though it soon becomes clear that their promises don’t necessarily mean much.  The more that his crimes are celebrated, the more smug Saeed becomes.  Even when his sentence comes down, Saeed remains convinced that he will be protected.  Afterall, everyone seems to agree with him that the victims, and not the murderer, are to blame for their deaths.

Dark, disturbing, and ultimately infuriating, Holy Spider is a powerful film.  The film’s power can be seen in the fact that it was not only banned in Iran but that the government also announced that anyone involved in the filming would also be censured.  (Russia, a longtime ally of Iran, also banned the film.)  Saeed is a hateful figure but even more hateful are the misogynists who celebrated him and nearly allowed him to get away with his crimes.  Holy Spider may have been banned in Iran but it can still be seen in the rest of the world.

And it should be seen.

Horror On The Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)


1962’s Carnival of Souls was the only feature film to be directed by Herk Harvey.  It was made on a budget of $33,000 and was filmed in Kansas and Utah, often without permits.  The film was also the feature acting debut of model Candace Hilligoss, cast here as a emotionally withdrawn church organist who is involved in a serious car accident and then finds herself haunted by pasty-faced ghosts and surreal visions.

When it was initially released, Carnival of Souls was dismissed by American critics.  Indeed, it would a little over twenty years before the film started to be appreciated as both a classic independent film and also a truly eerie horror movie.  Today, it’s recognized as a classic of the genre, an expressionistic ghost story that also works as a character study of a woman who is haunted by not just physical death but also emotional malaise.

Carnival of Souls is a Halloween tradition here at the TSL offices.  This year, the tradition continues.

 

A Blast From The Past: Orson Welles’s 1938 Broadcast of The War of the Worlds


On October 30th, 1938, Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater On The Air broadcast an adaptation of H.G. Wells’s War of the Worlds and, legend has it, they scared the ever-loving heck out of America.

Actually, there’s some debate as to just how panicked America got when they heard the Mercury Theater On The Air’s adaptation of War of the Worlds.  There was definitely some panic but there are differing reports on just how wide spread it was.  For our purposes, let’s assume that the entire country was terrified at the same time and that everyone was loading up a shotgun and planning to go out and look for aliens. With his adaptation of War of the Worlds, Orson Welles managed to invent the whole found footage genre that would later come to dominate horror cinema in the late 90s and the aughts.  Every found footage horror film owes a debt to what Orson Welles accomplished with War of the Worlds.  Ultimately, it’s just another example of how far ahead of his time Orson Welles was.

H.G. Wells, the original author of War of the Worlds, and Orson Welles only met once, while they were both in San Antonio, Texas in 1940.  (Orson Welles and H.G. Wells hanging out in San Antonio?  To be honest, that sounds like it would make a good movie.)  They were interviewed for a local radio station.  H.G. Wells expressed some skepticism about the reports of Americans panicking while Welles compared the radio broadcast to someone dressing up like a ghost and shouting “Boo!” during Halloween.  Both Wells and Welles then encouraged Americans to worry less about Martians and more about the growing threat of Hitler and the war in Europe.

I’ve shared this before but this just seems like the time to share it again.  Here, for Halloween Eve, is the 1938 Mercury Theater On The Air production of The War of the Worlds!

October Positivity: The List (dir by Gary Wheeler)


2007’s The List opens during the dying days of the American Civil War.

A group of wealthy plantation owners form a secret society.  They pool together their fortunes and they each sign onto a list.  Over the years, whenever a member of the Society passes away, their eldest male descendant replaces them on the List and also has access to the fortune that that the Society secretly holds.

In 2007, directionless attorney Renny Jacobsen (Chuck Carrington) is shocked when his father dies and leaves him next to no money.  As Renny tells us over and over again, he really could have used some of his father’s fortune.  However, his father does leave him a key the leads to Renny uncovering a tape that explains everything that he needs to know about the Society.  All Renny has to do is sign his name to the List.

The Society is now run by Desmond Larochette (Malcolm McDowell) and we know that he’s evil because his name is Desmond Larochette and he’s played by Malcolm McDowell.  Larochette seems to be more than happy to allow Renny to join the Society but he’s not quite as happy that another member of the group died and only left behind a female heir, Jo Johnston (Hilarie Burton).  The members of the Society are faced with quite a quandary.  Should they allow a woman to join their society?  And, if not, what should they do now that she know about the Society’s existence?

When Jo goes to the mansion for the Society’s meeting, she spots a portrait of a gray-haired gentleman and asks who he is.  Gus Eicholtz (Pat Hingle) explains that the painting is of John C. Calhoun, who served as Vice President under Andrew Jackson.  “He looks angry,” Jo says and honestly, that was a piece of historical and artistic criticism that was so simple-minded that Jo really should have been disqualified from joining the Society at that very moment.

First off, how are you going to join a Southern secret society if you don’t know how John C. Calhoun is?  Secondly, the portrait in question is actually a pretty famous one.  George Alexander Haley painted it while Calhoun was Secretary of State.  Even if you don’t know who John C. Calhoun is, chances are that you’ve seen the painting.  Finally, there’s the claim that “He looks angry.”  The painting was completed in 1845.  Everyone looked angry in 1840s!  Even the noted bon vivant Henry Clay looked angry in his 1848 State Department portrait.  (And Clay actually had his picture taken for his official portrait.  Imagine how furious he would look if someone had painted him?)

Anyway, Renny joins the society but Jo does not,  But then Renny discovers that it’s not as easy to get his hands on the money as he thought and he spends the entire movie complaining about it.  That’s pretty much it.  There is some suggestion that Desmond might have demonic powers, but it’s not really explored.  Another heir dies mysteriously and it seems like Jo is being targeted as well.  Again, it’s not really clear why.  In the end, Renny puts God before the money but it kind of comes out of nowhere.  It’s a muddled story and, by the end of the film, it’s still a struggle to figure out what it all meant.  At the very least, Malcolm McDowell seemed to be having fun, playing an evil character and speaking in an almost indecipherable accent.

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & Ten 2.3 “A Second Chance”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Things are getting crazy at training camp!

Episode 2.3 “A Second Chance”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on September 8th, 1986)

This week’s episode featured the unforgettable sight of O.J. Simpson tackling a knife-wielding Don Swayze and saving the life of Delta Burke.

Swayze was playing Clay Daniels, a tight end who was drafted by Coach Denardo, even though he apparently pulled a knife on a professor in college.  After Clay threatened Johnny Valentine after he felt Valentine wasn’t throwing him the ball enough, Denardo explained that he drafted Clay because Clay can play football.  Okay, Ernie, I guess that justifies having a knife-wielding maniac in the locker room….

After Denardo finally cut Clay from the team, Clay showed up at Diana’s house with a knife.  Fortunately, Diana was able to call Denardo and T.D. Parker for help.  Denardo showed up and promised he would give Clay a second chance.  And then T.D. tackled Clay and grabbed that knife like a pro!

Meanwhile, Yinessa returned to training camp but he was not happy that his friend and roommate, wide receiver Jamie Waldren (Jeff Kaake), had a drug problem.  This episode ended with Yinessa getting into a fight with someone who broke into their room in search of Waldren’s cocaine.  An angry Yinessa flushed all of Waldren’s cocaine.  Considering that this episode also featured Diana being named Chairperson of the League’s Anti-Drug Committee, I’m sure this won’t lead to any sort of awkwardness with the team.

Much like last week’s episode, this episode was so melodramatic and over-the-top that I couldn’t help but enjoy it.  Drugs, training camp, and knives!  Will the Bulls make it to the Championship Game a second year in a row?  It’s not looking good but, considering that they have O.J. Simpson’s razor-sharp instincts at their disposal, I wouldn’t count them out yet!