Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Horror on TV: One Step Beyond 3.17 “Dead Man’s Tale” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, a down-on-his-luck writer checks into an Alaskan motel with his wife.  After glancing through a cheap guidebook, the writer is inspired to write a story.  After the story is published, the writer is shocked to discover that the story he thought of as being fiction might actually be true!

This episode originally aired on January 17th, 1961.  Alaska had been a state for a little over a year when this episode was broadcast.  It was still a land of mystery.

(For many of us, it still is!)

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.1 and 5.2 “The Expedition/Julie’s Wedding/The Mongala/Julie’s Replacement/The Three R’s/The Professor’s Wife”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, we start season 5 of The Love Boat!

Episode 5.1 and 5.2 “The Expedition/Julie’s Wedding/The Mongala/Julie’s Replacement/The Three R’s/The Professor’s Wife”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on October 10th, 1981)

The fifth season of The Love Boat opens with a two-hour spectacular.  Our Love Boat crew is in Australia, where they will be guiding The Sea Princess on a voyage through the South Pacific.  It’s a bit odd to start off a season of The Love Boat on a different boat but I guess the plan was to show off all the different ships that sailed for Princess Cruise Lines.  This episode was actually shot on the boat during a cruise.  It’s interesting to see how different the Sea Princess is from the show’s usual location.  It has nicer hallways than the Pacific Princess and a much larger lobby.  However, I prefer the relative privacy of the Pacific Princess’s multi-level dining room to the wide open space provided by the Sea Princess.

Captain Stubing, Gopher, Isaac, and Doc are shocked when Julie does not board the ship.  She’s been on vacation with her boyfriend, Tony (Anthony Andrews), for the last few months. Tony lives in Australia so, really, it shouldn’t be too hard for Julie to make it to the ship. Instead, a substitute cruise director named Yvonne (Delvene Delaney) shows up.  Doc and Gopher are happy because it gives them a new co-worker to lust after.  Captain Stubing is upset because Julie has sent them all a letter in which she explains that she will be marrying Tony and retiring to the animal habitat where he works.  She asks Stubing to give her away and she invites Vicki to be a bridesmaid.  Gopher, Isaac, and Doc will be ushers.

Doc is briefly distracted from chasing Yvonne when he spots Barbara Carroll (Michelle Phillips) boarding the boat.  However, Barbara has eyes for Ralph Sutton (Patrick Duffy), a rancher who is blind without his glasses.  Unfortunately, that means that he can’t read the love letter that Barbara wrote him.  Because she wants Ralph for herself, Connie Walker (Jennilee Harrison) lies about what the letter says.  *GASP*  (Don’t worry, it all works out.)

Meanwhile, an expedition headed by shady Deke Donner (Jose Ferrer) goes to an island and captures a hairy man (Patrick Ward) who they believe is the Mongola, a.k.a., the missing link!  (Wait, what?)  They hide the ape-man in the ship’s cargo area (huh?) and try to keep anyone else from learning that they’re transporting a living thing.  Everyone acts like he’s a caveman but it’s kind of obvious that the Mongola is just a confused guy with a beard.  Dr. Jill McGraw (Donna Dixon) falls in love with the Mongola, much to the consternation of her colleague, Dr. Barry Mason (Gary Frank).  Meanwhile, Deke’s old friend, Prof. Milo Ender (Harry Morgan), is stunned to discover that the Mongola has a vaccination scar.  Milo’s wife, Vivian (Katherine Helmond), encourages Milo to keep the secret to himself so that they can at least make some money off of the Mongola.  (Like, seriously, what the Hell is even going on with this story?)  Milo agrees, though it doesn’t seem to occur to him that, if he could notice the vaccination scar, then pretty much anyone could notice the vaccination scar.  Eventually, the Mongola gets loose from his cage and jumps overboard.  “He’s shark food,” Deke says.  (What in the name of God is going on here?)  However, the Mongola apparently survives because the police are waiting to arrest Deke as soon as the ship docks in Australia.

But what about the wedding!? you’re saying.  Well, the wedding doesn’t happen.  It nearly happens.  Julie shows up at the church.  However, Tony finds out that he’s going to die in a month or two so he leaves Julie at the altar.  Julie flies back to Los Angeles with the rest of the Love Boat crew.

Seriously, this is the most morbid episode of The Love Boat that I’ve ever seen.

Still, morbid or not, it’s an entertainingly weird episode and the Australian and New Zealand scenery is lovely to look at.  (As with all of the two-hour episodes of The Love Boat, there’s a lot of travelogue padding.)  There’s something oddly appealing about seeing the usual Love Boat shenanigans mixed in with a story about the Missing Link and Julie discovering that the love of her life is terminally ill.  I mean, the song isn’t lying.  The Love Boat really does promise something for everyone.

I mean, in the end, we all know that Julie couldn’t get married because then she’d have to leave the show and that wouldn’t happen until Lauren Tewes’s cocaine use became a problem during the seventh season.  Tony could either cheat on her or he could die.  (Better he die than do what almost every man does at his bachelor party.)  The episode ends with Tony still alive so I guess the show’s writer were leaving their options open.  Maybe Tony will make a miraculous recovery, who knows?

Myself, I’m just happy that the crew is back together.  It’s time to set sail …. again!

Bonus Song of the Day: Atlantis by Donovan

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Continuing today’s Atlantis theme, here’s a song about the lost continent from Donovan.

It’s kind of a silly song.  I mean, just listen to Donovan’s opening monologue.  But that chorus is next to impossible to get out of your head and, even more importantly, the song is iconic due to its use in Martin Scorsese’s Goodfellas.  Try to listen to this without thinking about Billy Batts and that night at the club.

Horror Scenes That I Love: The Raiders of Atlantis arrive in Atlantis Interceptors

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Known as both Atlantis Interceptors and Raiders of Atlantis, Ruggere Deodato’s 1983 film imagines what would happen if the lost continent of Atlantis rose from the ocean in the vicinity of Florida.

In today’s scene that I love, the Atlanteans make their first appearance and they turn out to be a bunch of refugees from Mad Max.  Seriously, why would an underwater civilization need that many motorcycles?  And who knew that punk rock was so big in Atlantis?

That said, the guy with skull mask is definitely menacing.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ruggero Deodato Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

As our song of the day may have revealed, today’s director is the great Italian filmmaker, Ruggero Deodato!

4 Shots From 4 Ruggero Deodato Films

The House On The Edge of the Park (1980, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Sergio D’Offizi)

Raiders of Atlantis (1983, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Robert D’Ettore Piazzoli)

Body Count (1986, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Emilio Loffredo)

Phantom of Death (1988, dir by Ruggero Deodato, DP: Giorgio Di Battista)

Horror on the Lens: The Night Strangler (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s horror on the lens, we have 1973’s The Night Strangler.

This is the sequel to The Night Stalker and it features journalist Carl Kolchak (Darren McGavin) in Seattle.  (After all the stuff that happened during the previous movie, Kolchak was kicked out of Las Vegas.)  When Kolchak investigates yet another series of murders, he discovers that paranormal murders don’t just occur in Las Vegas and aren’t just committed by vampires.

I actually prefer this movie to The Night Stalker.  The Night Strangler features a truly creepy villain, as well as a trip down to an “underground city.”  It’s full of ominous atmosphere and, as always, Darren McGavin is a lot of fun to watch in the role in Kolchak.

Enjoy!

Horror Song of the Day: Main Theme From Cannibal Holocaust by Riz Ortolani

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

One of the great oddities of the horror genre and the world of grindhouse films is that 1980’s Cannibal Holocaust has got one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever recorded.  Composed by Riz Ortolani, here is the amazing Main Theme From Cannibal Holocaust.

Music Video of the Day: Atlantis by STRFKR (2013, dir by Vice Cooler)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s amazing the things that you see while you’re out running.  Seriously, I start nearly every morning with a run and …. well, I’ve never seen any of the stuff that’s seen in this video but then again, I’m also not running in Portland.

Is this a Halloween video?  Dracula would say yes.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.15 “The Mobius”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Mitch and Ryan go to the future!

Episode 2.15 “The Mobius”

(Dir by David Livingston, originally aired on March 2nd, 1997)

Mitch and Ryan’s plans to attend the opening of a hot new club on the beach are interrupted by the arrival of Ashley (Laura Interval), who is an old college friend of Ryan’s.  Ashley explains that her husband and colleague, John (Neil Roberts), has managed to open a portal to an unknown world and now he spends all of his time obsessing on it.

(Well, who wouldn’t?)

Accompanied by Teague, Mitch and Ryan go with Ashley to the laboratory.  John is busy tossing a football into the portal.  Something or someone on the other side throws the football back.  Teague and Ryan are really impressed with the portal.  Ashley and Mitch both think that the portal is something that shouldn’t be messed with.  When Ashley accidentally stumbles into the portal and vanishes, Mitch and Ryan follow.

They find themselves in what appears to be the ruins of Los Angeles.  Ryan speculates that they’re in a parallel universe while Mitch thinks that they might be in the future.  (Technically, they’re both right.  It is the future but it’s the future of a parallel universe.)  Mitch finds a newspaper announcing that the world had caught on fire due to pollution burning a hole in the Earth’s atmosphere.  In an amazing coincidence, they also stumble across one of Ryan’s professors.  Professor Arnold (Kay E. Kuter) is old and dying but he still has his notes that detail what should have been done to prevent the end of the world.

Mitch, Ryan, and Ashley want to get those notes back to the present but it won’t be easy.  Not only do they have to find the portal before it closes but they also have to avoid a bunch of mutated humans who now spend their time dressed like monks and chasing people around the ruins.  Even when Ryan, Ashley, and Mitch do find the portal back, the professor’s notes burn up as they pass through.

“I guess we’ll have to figure it out for ourselves,” Mitch says, looking at the charred binder.

Yes, this episode has a message!  Don’t pollute or Los Angeles will end up looking like a messy studio backlot and all your friends will join the Holy Order of Cannibal Mutations.  One has to wonder whether or not this episode influenced Cormac McCarthy when he wrote The Road.  Hmmm …. probably not.

Heavy-handed messaging aside, it’s not a bad episode.  If there’s any actor who born to run through a messy backlot while fighting mutant monks, it’s David Hasselhoff.  Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, The Mobius is fast-paced and it actually has a plot that the viewer can follow.  It’s silly but it’s fun, in the way that a show like Baywatch Nights should be.

As the episode ends, the Hoff suggests that maybe, if the future’s bad, we should be sure to enjoy the present.  That sounds like good advice to me!  That’s the wisdom of the Hoff.

A Blast From The Past: One Step Beyond 3.15 “The Last Round” (dir by John Newland)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In this episode from 1961, Charles Bronson stars as Yank Dawson, an aging boxer who finds himself in haunted auditorium in England during World War II. Bronson was 39 years old when he starred as Yank Dawson and he gives a good performance. The role makes good use of both Bronson’s imposing physicality and also the smoldering anger that would eventually make Bronson a star in both Europe and, later, the United States.

The episode below first aired on January 10th, 1961.