Yay! It’s a new music video from Sleigh Bells!
Enjoy!
Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman
Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.10 “The Waiting Game”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.
This week, the survivors of the end of the world discover that they might not as along as they think they are.
Episode 3.10 “The Waiting Game”
(Dir by Bruce Spandello, originally aired on December 9th, 1990)
Following a nuclear war, four survivors are stuck in two different shelters. In one shelter, Lt. Eric Tyler (Doug McKeon) and Captain Stanley Levitt (Stephen Burleigh) wait until it’s safe to go outside. They are in communication, via walkie-talkie, with Lt. Maureen Knox (Carrington Garland) and Capt. Andrew Garza (Leo Garcia). Knox and Garza are not handling things quite as well as Tyler and Levitt. In fact, Garza is convinced that he sees people moving outside of the bunker and he wants to go outside and investigate, despite the fact that the whole world is presumably radioactive now. Tyler and Levitt struggle to keep Garza and later Knox from going outside to look for phantom survivors. Soon, Tyler and Levitt start to realize that they aren’t as alone as they thought they were.
The idea behind this episode of Monsters is an intriguing one. Though a nuclear war has wiped out most of human civilization, it hasn’t destroyed an ancient vampire who is now roaming the world. In fact, the war has just made the vampire even stronger. The nuclear fallout has blocked out the sun, plunging the world into darkness and allowing the vampire to move around freely. Once it becomes obvious that Knox and Garza have both been captured and turned into vampires, Tyler and Levitt are faced with the question of how long they can resist. They may have survived the war but now, it appears that they’re going to be trapped in their bunker for the rest of their lives.
This was a superior episode of Monsters. I don’t know the specifics of what was going on behind-the-scenes but Monsters seems to have really hit its stride during the third season. The production values are noticeably higher than they were during the first two seasons. The guest stars are better-known. In general, the stories themselves are far more interesting and intelligently written. This episode is atmospheric and appropriately claustrophobic and it also features four excellent performances from McKeon, Burleigh, Garland, and Garcia. It’s hard to imagine an episode this good airing during the show’s first or even second season. But it’s definitely an example of the quality that I’ve now come to expect from the third season.
Personally, I would have stayed in that bunker for as long as it took. And I really do think the vampire kind of screwed up. By turning everyone into a vampire, he pretty much guaranteed that he and his new friends are going to run out of food in record time.
14 Days of Paranoia #5: Bloodknot (dir by Jorge Montesi)
In 1995’s Bloodknot, we are introduced to a grieving family.
Evelyn (Margot Kidder) and Arthur (Allan Royal) are mourning the death of their oldest son, who was in the military and who died during a military operation in the Middle East. Their other son, Tom (Patrick Dempsey), spends his time working on cars and helping out local racecar driver Mike (Craig Sheffer). Youngest daughter Gail (Ashleigh Ann Wood) doesn’t really have much of a personality but she’s definitely worried about her mother.
Suddenly, Connie (Kate Vernon) shows up in town. Wearing a uniform that is slightly too large for her, Connie claims that she served with Evelyn’s dead son and that they eventually became more than just friends. That’s strange, Evelyn says, he never mentioned you. Connie replies that she encouraged him to write more but, for whatever reason, he didn’t. Everyone agrees that what’s important now is that Connie has introduced herself to the family. Soon, Connie is living at the mansion and making flirtatious eye contact with both Arthur and Tom. One might expect Evelyn to be concerned about this but instead, Evelyn is too busy walking around in a depressed daze and blaming her “sinful” past for all the recent tragedy.
You probably already guessed that Connie is not who she says she is. Indeed, Connie has come to the family with an agenda of her own. She’s looking for vengeance and I won’t spoil it by revealing what she’s upset about but I will say that it’s fairly dumb and makes less sense the more that you think about it. Tom’s girlfriend, Julie (Krista Bridges), suspects that Connie is a liar but can she prove it? Julie even talks to the officer from whom Connie stole her uniform after Connie met and seduced her at a bar. Why would Connie, who seems to be willing to kill anyone, leave that one person alive? Obviously, it’s so Julie can learn the truth but still, it’s an oversight on Connie’s part that makes little sense.
(Julie isn’t a very interesting character but she does get to wear a really nice pair of boots so at least she’s got that going for her.)
Looking at the members of this film’s cast — Patrick Dempsey, Craig Sheffer, Kate Vernon — and you have to wonder if someone specifically said, “Let’s make an paranoia-themed, erotic thriller with the least interesting actors of the 90s.” (Yes, Dempsey got better but, in this film, he was still doing the goofy awkward thing.) This film goes through all the usual steps. Connie starts out as being friendly and then progressively reveals herself to be more and more unhinged. The men are reduced to stuttering incoherence by the sight of Connie smiling at them. For this type of film to work, the actors have to be fully willing to embrace the melodrama but instead, both Kate Vernon and Patrick Dempsey give oddly lowkey performances, with Vernon’s attempt at a seductive smile instead coming across like a smirk that should have clued everyone in to the fact that she was not to be trusted. If you’re appearing in a film like this, you should at least have a little fun. As for Craig Sheffer, he’s as mind-numbingly dull as ever.
The film does improve a bit towards the end, largely because Connie’s secret reason for harassing the family is so implausible that it can’t help but be a bit entertaining to listen to the characters discuss it. Overall, though, this was pretty boring. Let this film be a lesson to all — embrace the melodrama!
Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:
Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.18 “His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
Love, exciting and new …. come aboard, they’re expecting you….
Episode 5.18 “His Girls Friday/A Wife for Wilfred/The Girl Who Stood Still”
(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on February 13th, 1982)
Wilfred (Tom Smothers) is a single guy who tells the crew that he’ll pay $10,000 to whoever helps him find a wife on the cruise. The members of the crew each introduce Wilfred to a different woman and soon, Wilfred has five women following him all over the boat. However, when Isaac hears Wilfred bragging about how he conned the crew into doing all the work for him and how he was lying about the $10,000, the crew hires Marilyn (Connie Stevens), who runs the ship’s flower shop, to pretend to Wilfred’s wife.
Ha! Joke’s on Wilfred! No wait, the joke’s on the crew. Marilyn and Wilfred fall in love. Meanwhile, Julie remains single.
Meanwhile, Howard Ethan (Dick Van Patten) boards the ship with his loyal and superefficient secretary, Doris (Rue McClanahan). Doris is a great secretary but when Howard finds out that Cindy Nevins (Judy Landers) is looking for a secretarial job, he tries to figure out how to get Doris to quit so that he can hire Cindy. Maybe he and Doris could just fall in love. Myself, I wonder why people were always doing work while on The Love Boat. Isn’t a cruise supposed to be a vacation? And yet, every episode seemed to feature someone determined to spend the cruise in their cabin and getting some work done. I appreciate the spirit, I guess. I mean, I write film reviews while I’m on vacation so I guess I can relate. But still, if you’re going to pay for a luxury cruise, wouldn’t you at least want to use it as an excuse to forget about your responsibilities on the mainland?
Finally, Bess Hensinger (Vera Miles) boards the boat with her daughter, Abigail (Denise Miller). Abigail is stunned to learn that Bess invited a boy that Abigail likes to join them on the cruise. How will Jim (James Osmond) react if he discovers that Abigail has …. scoliosis!? This storyline was actually the best of the episode, if just because it was the only one where the male half of the romantic pairing didn’t come across as being totally sleazy. Jim was a genuinely nice guy and, needless to say, he didn’t care that Abigail has scoliosis. Denise Miller give an excellent performance as the insecure Abigail. As an asthmatic teenager, I always dreaded the thought of using my inhaler in front of other people so I could relate to what Abigail was going through. I may not have cared about the other two stories but I was happy things worked out for Jim and Abigail.
One good story out of three is usually not something brag about but Abigail and Jim were such a winning couple that they really did make this episode worth the trouble. Despite Wilfred and Howard, this was a good cruise.
Song Of The Day: Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! by Dean Martin
We woke up to glorious snow this morning. It’s pretty, even if it’s not quite the blizzard that we were promised by the weather service. That said, it’s 11 degrees outside and I’m looking forward to spending the next few days cuddled up inside.
In others words, let it snow!
Here’s Dean Martin expressing the thought perfectly in today’s song of the day.
Oh, the weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!
Man it doesn’t show signs of stopping
And I brought me some corn for popping
The lights are turned way down low
Let it snow! Let it snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm
But if you’ll really hold me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
And the fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you’d love me so
Let it snow! Let it snow and snow!
When we finally kiss goodnight
How I’ll hate going out in the storm
But if you really grab me tight
All the way home I’ll be warm
Oh, the fire is slowly dying
And, my dear, we’re still goodbying
But as long as you’d love me so
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
Songwriters: Jule Styne / Sammy Cahn
Scenes That I Love: Angie Dickinson Hits Lee Marvin In Point Blank
Point Blank (1967, directed by John Boorman)
Today is the anniversary of the birth of one of the greatest of the screen tough guys, Mr. Lee Marvin! Today’s scene that I love comes from the 1967 film, Point Blank. In this short but emotionally exhausting scene, Angie Dickinson hits Lee Marvin’s career criminal, over and over again. Marvin, for his part, barely reacts. This scene is the epitome of Lee Marvin’s mystique. He played men who only showed emotion when it was necessary. Dickinson hits Marvin to try to make him feel something but Marvin’s career criminal in beyond such concerns.
From Point Blank, here is today’s scene that I love:
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special John Frankenheimer Edition
4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
John Frankenheimer was born 95 years ago today, in New York City. He got his start working in live television and went on to become one of the best directors of thrillers around. After getting off to a strong start in the 60s, directing several classic films (many of which had a political subtext), Frankenheimer struggled in the 70s (though even that decade saw him directing the classic Black Sunday) before making a comeback in the 90s. (1998’s Ronin is regularly cited as having one of the best car chases ever captured on film.) He was also one of the first film directors to make the transition to regularly working for cable channels like TNT and HBO. Indeed, the films that he made for HBO played no small part in establishing HBO’s reputation as being a “prestige” network.
It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 John Frankenheimer Films
The Manchurian Candidate (1962, dir by John Frankenheimer, DP: Lionel Lindon)
Seven Days In May (1964, dir by John Frankenheimer, DP: Ellsworth Fredericks)
Seconds (1966, dir by John Frankenheimer, DP: James Wong Howe)
Black Sunday (1977, dir by John Frankenheimer, DP: John A. Alonzo)
Music Video of the Day: Down by Victoria Justice (2024, dir by Luis De Pena)
Today, we wish a happy birthday to the one and only Victoria Justice! I’m currently up at our lakehouse so I can relate to this video in spirit, even though it’s currently 18 degrees up here. It’s the thought that counts.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.7 “Heatwave”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, there’s a heatwave on the beach!
Episode 1.7 “Heatwave”
(Dir by Lyndon Chubbuck, originally aired on April 13th, 1996)
A heatwave has hit Santa Monica! Everyone is sweltering and the cameras of Pacific Blue are there to record every drop of sweat. The AC at Chris’s apartment is not working so, while she waits for it to get repaired, she moves in with TC. What will TC’s girlfriend think of that? Actually, she won’t think anything about that because her character disappeared after the pilot.
As I watched this episode, it occurred to me that the show’s writers really seemed to have no idea who the characters actually were. Instead of coming across like actual human beings, every character has one personality trait that the writers insist on hammering into every scene. Chris is always complaining about something. Even after TC offers to let her stay at his apartment, Chris complains. Chris complains so much that it actually becomes a bit whiny on her part. But it’s not really Chris’s fault. It’s the fault of the writers who obviously assumed that writing a “strong woman” meant making her act like a bitch no matter what the situation. TC’s character trait is that he has a permanent chip on his shoulder even though every episode so far has essentially been a TC love fest. He’s second-in-command of the bike cops. He’s never held responsible for his mistakes. He comes from a rich family. Lt. Palermo praises him nonstop. And yet TC always seems like he’s bitter about something. And, as with Chris’s permanent bad mood, it’s just because the show’s writers didn’t bother to give him a personality beyond always acting like he has something to prove. The episodes hints at an attraction between Chris and TC but they would really be a terrible couple.
This episode finds a radio sex therapist (Maura Peters) being stalked by Jordan Crane (Denis Forest, playing the same type of creepy psycho that he played on multiple episodes of Friday the 13th), a listener who is obsessed with her and who murders anyone who he thinks is getting too close to her. TC has a crush on the sex therapist. Chris dislikes the sex therapist and thinks TC is dumb because of course she does. Chris and TC run afoul the homicide detective, Bart Browning (Barry Lynch), who is investigating the case. Browning doesn’t have much respect for cops who ride bicycles. Palermo, Chris, and TC go out of their way to change his mind.
So, yes, this is yet another episode where Pacific Blue tries to convince us that cops on bikes aren’t as dorky and useless as they look. Every time Browning makes fun of them, we get a shot of the bike cops chasing a thief or investigating a lead. The problem is that Browning does have a point. The cops do look really silly on their bikes. The fact that they often have to pick up and carry their bikes doesn’t help. And listen, this is not an anti-bicycle thing. I have a bike, I occasionally ride it in the park. (What I don’t do is ride it in the middle of the street.) When you’ve got asthma like me, cycling is a good way to keep your lungs healthy. But if I need the police, I want to see a squad car and I don’t want to have to deal with anyone wearing shorts.
While this is going on, Victor and Cory investigate a thief who hires strippers to perform in stores and bars. While everyone is distracted, the thief robs the place. This storyline actually did make me laugh a little. All of the male witnesses could perfectly describe the strippers but none of them even saw the man sneaking behind the counter with a gun. In the end, the thief is captured in an elaborate undercover sting. Cory and Chris pretend to be the dancers while Palermo pretends to be the bartender and the thief soon discovers everyone else in the bar is a cop as well. At least in this storyline, Chris’s bad mood had to do with being annoyed with the objectification of women as opposed to being mad because someone offered her a place to stay so she wouldn’t die of heatstroke.
Finally, Elvis discovers a lot of holes on the beach and thinks that the aliens are coming. It turns out that a local golf course was just stealing the sand for their sand traps. I’m glad that worked out!
As much as I’ve complained, this episode of Pacific Blue was a slight improvement over the previous few episodes, if just because the the subplots were vaguely interesting and/or amusing. Chris and TC continue to be the weakest part of the show. Hopefully, they’ll get some new personality traits soon.
14 Days of Paranoia #4: Conspiracy (dir by Adam Marcus)
2008’s Conspiracy opens in Iraq.
A group of American soldiers are searching for militants. Amongst them is the grim-faced William “Spooky” MacPherson (Val Kilmer). When an adorable little girl with a teddy bear approaches the soldiers, MacPherson barely notices. His mind is on adult threats. But when the girl reveals that she has a bomb in her backpack, the majority of the soldiers are blown up with her. MacPherson survives, though he loses a leg and ends up with such severe PTSD that he can no longer carry a gun or even make a fist. Helping him recover from his wounds is his best friend and fellow soldier, Miguel (Greg Serano).
A year or so later, MacPherson is back home. He lives in a run-down apartment in New York and spends most of his time with a naked woman who speaks Russian. (Whether she was meant to be his girlfriend or just someone he hired is unclear.) Miguel continually calls him up and asks him to come down to New Mexico and work on his ranch. MacPherson refuses at first. He wants to remain isolated from the world. But when his flashbacks of the explosion become too intense, MacPherson finally decides to accept Miguel’s offer. MacPherson pawns a gun so that he’ll have enough money to get a bus ticket. And then, he heads for New Mexico.
The only problem is that, once MacPherson arrives in New Mexico, Miguel is nowhere to be seen. Walking through a town that appears to have recently been constructed, MacPherson meets a lot of people who insist that they’ve never heard of Miguel and that there is no ranch at the address that Miguel gave MacPherson. The police carefully watch MacPherson as he makes his way from business to business, searching for his friend. No one in town is friendly. No one seems to want MacPherson around. Eventually, MacPherson is approached by Rhodes (Gary Cole), the businessman who is building the town and who apparently controls everything that happens within the town limits. Rhodes is friendly. Rhodes says that MacPherson, with his white skin and blonde hair, is exactly the type of person that he likes to see in his town. Can you tell where this is going?
You probably already guessed that Rhodes is an evil businessman who is involved in human trafficking and who smuggles Mexicans across the border to work for his company before then sending back to their home country with next to no money. You’ve also probably figured out that Miguel was killed by the corrupt police force. If you haven’t figured that out, you’ve never seen a movie before. MacPherson teams up with the only kind person in town, Joanna (Jennifer Esposito), and they try to stop Rhodes’s operation. The entire movie seems to be building up to a scene where MacPherson and Joanna take on the whole town but instead, somewhat anticlimactically, everyone just stands around and watches Rhodes battle MacPherson. Conspiracy promises a lot but it doesn’t really deliver.
This was one of Val Kilmer’s first straight-to-video roles and he gives a rather detached performance, which is a shame because an actor of Kilmer’s talent could have really done something with this role if he had been in the mood to do so. But I don’t blame Kilmer for not seeming to be that invested in Conspiracy. It’s not a very interesting film. Even the usually dependable Gary Cole just seems to be going through the motions. The film’s attempt to comment on the pressing political issues of 2008 — illegal immigration, the war in Iraq, the burst of the housing bubble, the recession — only serve to reinforce how shallow and heavy-handed the film actually is. Watching Conspiracy in 2025, the most interesting about it is that the issues it deals with are the issues that, 17 years later, Americans are still dealing with.
With its portrayal of an isolated town and a scarred war veteran looking for a missing friend, Conspiracy has a lot in common with the classic 1955 film, Bad Day At Black Rock. Now, that’s a film that is definitely worth seeing!
Previous entries in 2025’s 14 Days Of Paranoia:
Through the Shattered Lens 