Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

This week, Felton again proves himself to be the most incompetent cop in Baltimore.

Episode 3.9 “Nothing Personal”

(Dir by Timothy Van Patten, originally aired on April 21st, 1995)

Woe be anyone whose murder is investigating by Detective Beau Felton.

Felton (played by Daniel Baldwin) shambles his way through this episode, his hair a greasy mess and his eyes bloodshot.  The episode takes place over the course of several days and Felton doesn’t change his clothes once.  Just looking at him, one can smell the pungent mix of sweat, cigarettes, and booze.  Felton is searching for his wife and his son.  In this episode, his mother-in-law tells him that his wife is planning on coming home, just for her to change her mind at the last moment.  On the one hand, I do feel a bit bad for Felton, even if he was an absolutely terrible husband.  On the other hand, he’s got an important job and, right now, he sucks at it.  His decision to go back to Megan Russert’s place after he talks to his mother-in-law definitely does not make him in any way extra sympathetic.

Poor Kay!  She has been just been assigned the Chilton murder, which was one of Crosetti’s unsolved cases and now her 100% clearance rate is threatened.  The case is considered to be unsolvable.  Someone strangled Erica Chilton.  Her husband (Dean Winters) gives Kay and Felton a stack of letters that were sent by Erica’s secret lover.  Alcoholic Felton loses the letters.  The episode ends with Kay reluctantly accepting that she might never solve the case.  Personally, I think Kay should consider that the victim’s husband is played by Dean Winters.  With the exception of Law & Order: SVU, I have never seen Dean Winters appear on a show like this without eventually turning out to be the murderer and the fact that he had a huge stack of letters from Erica’s boyfriend would give him a motive.  See, Kay?  I solved your case for you!

Meanwhile, Giardello goes out to lunch with Megan Russert and one of her friends.  Russert wants to set them up.  Giardello is interested but Russert’s friend isn’t.  Giardello, in a wonderfully performed moment (all hail Yaphet Kotto), tells Russert that he feels that light-skinned black women always reject him because he’s “too black.”  Russert says that’s ridiculous, just for Giardello to reply that, as a “white woman,” she wouldn’t understand.  Giardello spends the rest of the episode depressed.  It’s always interesting whenever Giardello, who is usually so imposing, let’s down his guard a bit and reveals his emotions.  Kotto always did a great job playing Giardello, regardless of whether Giardello was ordering Pembleton to work with Bayliss or just trying to avoid doing his laundry with Munch.

Speaking of Munch, the Waterfront Bar continues to be a headache.  Lewis, Bayliss, and Munch have finally purchased their bar but it turns out that the former owner is not allowed to leave behind any of the liquor that she previously had at the bar.  So, the three partners are going to have to pay for all their liquor themselves.  The Waterfront Bar storyline has been dragged out a bit but it is a storyline that shows just how difficult it is to start a business in an overregulated state.  So, it appeals to be my libertarian side.

There were a lot of good moments in this episode, even if I am getting a bit tired of Felton and his incompetence.  One thing that I’ve really enjoyed about this season is how much Kay and Russert seem to sincerely dislike each other.  This episode featured Russet calling Kay out for obsessing over her perfect clearance rate and Kay’s barely pent up irritation was entertaining to watch.  Still, I do find myself wondering why Russet is always at the station, even though her shift is over.  Seriously, Russert, spend some time with your child and tell Felton to get off your damn couch!  There’s murders that need to be solved.