Author Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Rest in Peace, Joe Don Baker

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I knew this day was going to come, due to his advanced age and the fact that it had been a while since he had appeared in a film (his final appearance was a wonderful supporting role in Jeff Nichols’s Mud), but it’s still pains me to say goodbye to Joe Don Baker.

As a fan of grindhouse cinema, as a fan of the classic Bond films, as a fan of Texas actors, and as a fellow graduate of UNT who used to enjoy eating at that Denton Whataburger that had his picture painted on the wall, I will have a special place in my heart for Joe Don Baker and the entertaining, if often ridiculous, films that he made.

He was 89 years old when he was passed away on May 7th.  They don’t make ’em like Joe Don anymore.

Here he is in 1973’s Walking Tall, enforcing justice with a big stick.

Rest in peace.  I’ll be watching Mitchell in your memory.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.18 “Desirable Alien”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, an immigrant wants to stay in America.

Episode 3.18 “Desirable Alien”

(Dir by Bette Gordon, originally aired on January 27th, 1991)

Hercules (Tony Spiridakis) is a Greek immigrant who claims that he cannot return to his home country because of a mysterious birth defect.  Hercules wants to be an American citizen but, for some reason, he is hesitant to take the physical exam necessary for citizenship and he always finds a way to put it off.  As he waits to become a citizen, Hercules works in a restaurant with his friend, Luis (Luis Guzman).  Hercules has had several case workers, all of whom have mysteriously stopped working for the Immigration agency after meeting with Hercules.  It turns out that almost every woman that Hercules meets ends up becoming one of his lovers.  Luis is impressed.  Hercules says that he can’t help it.  And, as caseworker Maggie (Wendy Makkena) discovers, he’s not lying.  It turns out that Hercules is actually a satyr.  Debbie Harry, of Blondie fame, has a brief cameo as a doctor who shows up to give Hercules his physical and who quickly becomes one of his lovers.

This episode was well-acted but it didn’t really add up to much.  It’s tempting to try to connect the episode’s story to modern politics and the current debate about immigration but …. nah.  That would be giving this episode a bit too much credit.  As much as I complain about programs that are too long for the often simple stories that they tell, this episode is a case where I wouldn’t have minded a bit more time to explore the story.  With a 21-minute runtime, this episode felt rushed and rather incomplete.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.28 “A Dress To Remember”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time set sail for adventure!

Episode 5.28 “A Dress To Remember”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on May 8th, 1982)

This week’s episode features three stories and one dress.

The dress, a lovely blue gown, is brought on board by diet doctor Dr. Alfred Farney (Kelly Monteith), who claims that his “muskmullet” diet will lead to Donna Baker (Markie Post) losing 10 pound by the end of the cruise.  The proof will be that Donna will be able to fit into the dress.  Alfred’s former partner-turned-rival Dr. Tucker Martin (Lyle Waggoner) is also on the ship and his plan is to tempt Donna into eating so much that she’ll instead gain 11 pounds and the dress will rip.  Boooo!  Shame on both of those doctors!  Seriously, Donna looks miserable for the entire cruise.  That said, despite the efforts of Dr. Martin, Donna still loses the weight …. in fact, she loses even more than 10 pounds.  She loses 11!  Doctors Farney and Martin agree to partner up again and Donna, who looks like she’s about to faint, suggests that they celebrate over pizza.  The doctors make some money and Donna gets an eating disorder but at least the dress looks good.

That dress goes through a lot over the course of one episode.  For some reason, Gopher and Isaac have been tasked with keeping it safe.  Why would you trust those two with something important?  Actually, Isaac is usually pretty smart and Gopher’s actually been behaving a bit more like a professional than usual this season so I guess they were just having an off-cruise.

Norman Lomax (Bob Denver) wears the dress (and a wig) to keep his ex-father-in-law, Tom (Forrest Tucker), from recognizing him.  Tom must be an idiot because Bob Denver in a wig and dress still looks and sounds like Bob Denver.  Norman’s ex-wife, Nancy (Brianne Leary), is also on the cruise.  Norman tries to win her back.

Finally, Tom falls for Rosie Strickland (Eleanor Parker), who makes her living selling flowers to people boarding the cruise.  When Rosie’s daughter (Catherine Parkes,) shows up, Rosie doesn’t want her to know that Rosie isn’t rich.  So, the Captain gives her the dress to wear and helps Rosie pretend to be a rich woman.  Fortunately, it turns out that Rosie’s daughter loves her regardless of whether or not she’s rich.  And so does Tom!

Myself, I’m a little bit concerned by the fact that the Captain just gave away a piece of clothing that belonged to one of the passengers.  That doesn’t really seem very professional and it kind of goes against everything that we know about Captain Stubing.  He’s a good man but he’s not exactly a rule-breaker.  That said, everything works out in the end.  Stubing even gets to perform a triple wedding.

The third story, I actually liked it.  It’s heart was in the right place, even if it was basically just a remake of Lady For a Day.  Eleanor Parker actually gave a really good performance, finding some much needed reality in Rosie’s character.  The other two stories were pretty forgettable (or, in Bob Denver’s case, annoying) but Eleanor Parker’s story made up for both of them, making this a very nice and ultimately rather touching cruise.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sofia Coppola Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is the birthday of one of my favorite American directors, the one and only Sofia Coppola!  In honor of this day, here are….

4 Shots From 4 Sofia Coppola Films

The Virgin Suicides (1999, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Edward Lachman)

Lost In Translation (2003, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)

Marie Antoinette (2006, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Lance Acord)

The Bling Ring (2013, dir by Sofia Coppola, DP: Harry Savides and Christopher Blauvelt)

Scenes That I Love: Michael J. Fox Invents Rock and Roll in Back To The Future

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a very happy birthday to the great Robert Zemeckis.  Today’s scene that I love comes from Zemeckis’s 1985 film, Back to the Future.

Did you know that rock and roll was invented by a time traveler?  Well, let’s not overthink things.  Let’s just enjoy the scene.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.4 “Bangers”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Victor gets a plot.

Episode 2.4 “Bangers”

(Dir by Charles Siebert, originally aired on September 14th, 1996)

Victor del Toro, who often doesn’t get to do much on this show, finally gets a storyline of his very own.  Unfortunately, it involves trying to keep a young man for his old neighborhood from joining a gang.  One thing that you can always count on whenever you watch any sort of cop show from the 90s, if there’s a Latino cop in the cast, he’s going to have to keep someone from joining a gang.  It was one of the biggest cliches on the 90s.

And don’t get me wrong.  Gangs are a reality in America and they are a problem.  At the same time, though, is there a reason why every time a Latino appeared on a show like this, they always seemed to either be in a gang or on the verge of joining a gang?  Not every Latino family is poor, not every young Latino male is struggling with the pressure to join a gang, and for that matter, not every Latino with a tattoo is a member of a street gang.

While Victor dealt with the gangs moving into the neighborhood, Chris and Corey decided to rent an apartment together.  Needless to say, things didn’t go well.  Corey reveals that she is hyperorganized and likes to keep every surface in the apartment clean and spotless.  (I don’t really see what that’s a problem.)  Chris is revealed to be a slob who hangs her clothes around the kitchen and who pours a box of cereal out on the floor because she’s tired of Corey always cleaning.  Isn’t Chris supposed to be a hotshot fighter pilot?  I mean, up until this episode, there was absolutely nothing about her character that would suggest that she was incapable of picking up her clothes.  I would think that, being a member of the Air Force, she would actually have had some sort of discipline drilled into her.  It’s kind of like how soldiers still tend to stand at attention even while visiting their families.  Anyway, this storyline ends with Chris throwing food around the apartment and Corey grabbing a pair of scissors and attacking Chris’s laundry …. wait, what?  I’m sorry, this is psychotic behavior.

Don’t worry, though.  Chris and Corey share a laugh about it and agree to remain friends but not roommates.  Uhm, Chris …. Corey took a pair of scissors to your clothes.  I mean, I don’t like sloppy people either but I generally don’t try to destroy their possessions.

Of course, the main problem with this episode is the same problem that all of the episodes have had.  They’re cops on bikes!  They wear shorts and polo shirts and they spend all of their  time insisting that they’re real cops even though it’s obvious that they aren’t.  Real cops don’t ride bicycles with baskets on the back.

This episode did not leave me with much confidence in California law enforcement.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, our trip is all about getting older.

Episode 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 5th, 1983)

When I first saw that one of the fantasies this week was called “My Date With Burt,” my immediate assumption was that someone would come to Fantasy Island and demand to go on a date with Burt Reynolds.  I was actually looking forward to seeing if Burt would play himself or if they would just have some stand-in who was always shot from behind.  Unfortunately, I was wrong.

The Burt in this case is Burt Hunter (Ron Ely), an actor who is the latest to be cast as a James Bond-type of secret agent.  Margaret Winslow (Sandra Dee) has a crush on him and wants to meet him.  For his part, Burt is depressed because he’s getting older and the producers of his films want to replace him with a younger actor.  At first, Burt just goes out with Margaret in order to generate some publicity for himself.  He hires a stuntman to fake a fight so that Burt can emerge as a big ol’ hero.  Burt is trying to save his career but Margaret is not amused by any of that.  Margaret realizes that films are not real life.  Margaret’s pretty old to only now be figuring that out.  Anyway, Margaret and Burt still fall in love and leave the Island together.

This fantasy was predictable but it did give us one of those fun Tattoo subplots where Tattoo claimed to be Burt Hamilton’s best friend and tried to get involved in managing his career.  Tattoo always had a side hustle going and good for him!  One gets the feeling that Roarke didn’t pay him that much.  Seriously, Tattoo was always trying to find a way to make more money.  Pay the man what he’s worth, Mr. Roarke!

Our other fantasy features Linwood Bolton and Randi Oakes as Alex and Diana Weston, two newlyweds who want to find the Fountain of Youth so that they can be young and in love forever.  Yay!  Roarke has them take a dip in a pool and, when they emerge, they’re on an isolated island that is ruled over by Ra-Mas (Alex Cord) and Maatira (the great Stella Stevens).  Maatira will let them drink from the fountain but there’s a catch …. one of the cups is full of poison!  Alex can be eternally young and he can be spend the rest of eternity as Maatira’s lover but Diana has to die.  And Diana does die.  Luckily, the water from the fountain can also bring people back to life.

This was a weird fantasy and you really do have to wonder what would have happened if Alex hadn’t come to his senses and if Diana hadn’t been revived.  Would Roarke have just shrugged and told Tattoo to burn Diana’s passport?  It just doesn’t seem like that would be good for business.  That said, Stella Stevens was an actress who was always willing to embrace the melodrama and she does so here, keeping things somewhat entertaining.

This was a pleasant if not particularly memorable trip to the Island.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.20 “Tow Truck Lady”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Larry Wilcox sits in the director’s chair for this week’s episode!

Episode 3.20 “Tow Truck Lady”

(Dir by Larry Wilcox, originally aired on February 9th, 1980)

Danny (Chris Robinson) is a tow truck driver who is short on cash, in debt to a loan shark, and being forced to pay off his debt by stealing cars for the mob.  Danny happens to be friends with Ponch and Jon.  Ponch and Jon take it upon themselves to look after Danny’s daughter, Marla (Tonya Crowe), while Danny is out working.  Of course, Danny is actually committing crimes during that time.

This was one of those episodes where a guest character, whom we’ve never seen before, suddenly becomes the main character and it throws off the entire episode.  The majority of the episode is Danny arguing with the loan shark and Marla acting precocious.  Jon and Ponch weren’t really that involved, until the big chase at the end of the episode.  I guess it makes sense.  Larry Wilcox was busy directing and I imagine Wilcox was probably more than happy to have a chance to point the camera at someone other than at Erik Estrada.  From what I’ve read, the two co-stars may have played best friends but they couldn’t stand each other in real life.  Wilcox apparently felt that the producers always sided with Estrada and it is impossible to deny that the show, which began with Baker and Ponch evenly matched, had become the Ponch Show by the time the third season rolled around.

(I should note that this episode does feature a pretty exciting highway smash-up, featuring cars flying through the air in slow motion.  I always love that slo mo of doom!)

In the end, Danny does the right thing and turns on the loan shark.  The loan shark is arrested.  So is Danny.  Baker says that he’ll arrange for Marla to live with his friend, Ellen (Liberty Godshall), until Danny gets out of prison.  It’s entirely probable that Marla is going to be traumatized for the rest of her life but Ponch and Baker still share a good laugh at the end of the episode.  Being a member of the Highway Patrol is fun!