4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today’s the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 85th birthday to the British director, Adrian Lyne! Lyne was one of the many British director to start his career by making commercials. (Alan Parker and Tony and Ridley Scott also followed a same career path.) He brought the same technique that inspired people to buy products to his films and the enf result was some of the most stylish films of the 80s, 90s, and the aughts. Lyne hasn’t directed many films but his lasting influence cannot be denied.
It’s times for….
4 Shots From 4 Adrian Lyne Films
Flashdance (1983, dir by Adrian Lyne, DP: Donald Peterman)
Fatal Attraction (1987, dir by Adrian Lyne, DP: Howard Atherton)
Jacob’s Ladder (1990, dir by Adrian Lyne, DP: Jeffrey L. Kimball)
Indecent Proposal (1993, dir by Adrian Lyne, DP: Howard Atherton)
In today’s music video of the day, Lenny Kravitz has something to say to the racist cab drivers who controlled the streets in the days before Uber and Lyft.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.
This week, the bicycle cops screw up again.
Episode 3.17 “House Party”
(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on February 1st, 1997)
One of the one more entertaining things about Pacific Blue is witnessing how bad the bicycle cops actually are at their job.
I don’t think that was intentional on the part of the show. I think the show meant for us to watch TC, Palermo, and Victor on their bikes and think to ourselves, “Those are the men that I want protecting me!” However, the narrative demands of an hour show required that the bike cops always screw up in some way, whether it’s failing to catch the bad guys the first time that they commit a crime or suspecting the wrong guy while working undercover or just letting their personal lives get in the way of their professional judgment. Combine that with some bad scripts and a group of actors who struggled with showing any emotion beyond grim annoyance and you have a show about cops who are not only incompetent but also kind of rude.
That’s certainly the case with this week’s episode. Not only do they allow an escaped murderer (Currie Graham) to grab a gun and take over the station but then TC proceeds to spend almost the entire episode arguing with Palermo and the SWAT team because Chris is among those being held hostage on the inside. When the cops realize that the murderer’s girlfriend is somewhere on the beach, they put Cory in a chicken uniform and have her walk around pretending to hand out flyers for a restaurant. “Chickelicous,” Cory says as she walks along the beach. Of course, the murder’s girlfriend spots her and taking off running. Guess what? It’s not easy to chase someone when you’re dressed like a chicken! Seriously, I can understand trying to maintain some element of surprise but why would they put Coy in a costume that severely limits her mobility?
Anyway, this was a hostage episode, which means that almost whole thing was the hostage taker barking orders while the hostages either cowered in fear or tried to stalk some sense into him and the members of his gang. Episodes about hostage situations are almost always incredibly dull and this episode was no exception. In the end, Victor — who was in the station when the situation started and managed to go unseen by the hostage takers — was there to do his John McClane thing. All of the bad guys died. The hostages were freed. The bike patrol’s main concern was that Chris was okay. I would probably be offended if I was one of the civilian hostages. Just because their friend is okay doesn’t excuse the incompetence that led to the situation in the first place.
Vince from ShamWow was a candidate in tonight’s Texas primary election. He was running for the U.S. House and …. well, he lost. He lost big time. Like even the crazy woman who moved down to Texas from Missouri so that she could run in a district she barely knew managed to outpoll him. That’s how badly he lost.
I’m kind of depressed about that. Seriously, what fun are celebrity candidates if we don’t elect them? Really, he should have run in my district. My district didn’t have anyone interesting running. I ended up voting for a former Olympic fencer. I would have voted for Vince from Shamwow.
In honor of Vince’s political dreams and as a reminder of a simpler age, here is tonight’s blast from the past! From 2007, it’s ShamWow!
Seriously, folks, Olympic divers used it as a towel!
The most interesting thing about In The Blink Of An Eye is who directed it.
Andrew Stanton got his start at PIXAR, directing films like A Bug’s Life, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory, and my personal favorite, WALL-E. (He also directed Toy Story 5, which will be coming out later this year.) Stanton’s PIXAR films were some of the best to come out of that legendary studio. Especially when it came to WALL-E, he showed not only his skill as a visual storyteller but also his ability to craft compelling narratives that sold their message without necessarily feeling preachy. (If you didn’t cry while watching WALL-E, you don’t have a heart.) Stanton’s first live action film was John Carter, a legendary flop that was more betrayed by its producers than its director. After the failure of John Carter, Stanton redeemed himself by directing episodes of shows like Stranger Things, Better Call Saul, and For All Mankind.
In The Blink Of An Eye is Stanton’s second live action film. It’s an earnest film. One can tell that both Stanton and the film’s screenwriter, Colby Day, felt they had something important to say. (Day’s screenplay appeared on the 2016 Black List, which is the annual list of the “best” unproduced screenplays in Hollywood. Unfortunately, as anyone who has sat through Cedar Rapids can tell you, merely getting on the Black List is not a guarantee that a script will be transformed into a good or even watchable movie.) Like WALL-E, it’s a film with a message. Unfortunately, it’s nowhere near as watchable or compelling as Stanton’s animated work.
It’s a film that tells three interconnected stories, each one taking place at a different time in human history. In 45,000 BC, a family of cave people struggle to survive and to start a civilization on the beach of a largely untouched Earth. In the 21st century, anthropologist Claire (Rashida Jones) falls in love with Greg (Daveed Diggs) and eventually, they have a son who inherits their shared interest in science and their appreciation for Paleolithic culture. (Don’t let Claire hear you suggest that Neanderthals were dumb.) Meanwhile, in the far future, Coakley (Kate McKinnon) lives on a spaceship where her only companion is an AI named Rosco (voiced by Rhona Rees). When Coakley’s mission appears to be in jeopardy, Rosco suggests that the only solution might be Coakley shutting Rosco down. The stories share a connection, one that most audiences will guess before the film gets around to revealing it.
As I said, In The Blink Of An Eye is an earnest and well-intentioned film. (Colby Day also wrote the screenplay for the underrated Spaceman, a film that dealt with similar themes.) And yet, it really doesn’t work. The pacing is off. This is a 90 minute film that feels considerably longer. The stories themselves are not particularly compelling. The cave people are well-acted and I appreciated the fact that they spoke they’re own language as opposed to crude English but they were also way too clean. For a group of people who lived without soap, toothpaste, razors, and deodorant, they were way too physically pleasant to be credible. Rashida Jones and Daveed Diggs are sweet when they’re falling in love but then they become rather insufferable once they start a family. As for the future scenes, Kate McKinnon has never been a particularly consistent actress and that trend continues here. She gets outacted by the voice of Rosco. (Having the AI be more likable than the actual human worked well in 2001 but it’s far less effective here.)
As I said, it was well-intentioned but, in the end, it just left me wanting to watch WALL-E again.
In 2024’s Saturday Night, there’s a scene where the president of NBC (played by Willem DaFoe) tells a young and arrogant Chevy Chase (Cory Michael Smith) that, if he plays his cards right, he might someday replace Johnny Carson as America’s most popular talk show host. When Chase brags about this to one of the writers of Saturday Night Live, the writer — who is portrayed as being a weary industry veteran — tells Chase that he will never replace Johnny Carson. In exacting detail, he predicts that Chase will start strong. He’ll be one of the early stars of Saturday Night Live but then he’ll let the adulation go to his head and his arrogance will alienate everyone who once believed in him and, in the end, Chevy Chase will end up a faded, nearly forgotten star.
The film obviously meant for this scene to be a crowd-pleaser. Personally, I found it to be gratuitously cruel. While watching Saturday Night, we all know what the future holds for Chevy Chase but having a fictional character show up for just one scene so that he can say it to Chase’s face feels excessive. It’s not only a bit too on-the-nose but it’s also not necessary. However, the scene does speak to a larger truth. It’s socially acceptable to hate Chevy Chase.
The stories of Chase’s bad behavior are legendary. People have heard the stories about him being difficult to work with on the set of Community. They’ve heard about him suggesting a skit in which Terry Sweeney, the first openly gay member of the Saturday Night Live cast, would announce that he had AIDS. Everyone can visualize the famous brawl that occurred between Bill Murry and Chase when the latter first returned to host SNL and I think nearly everyone agrees that they’d rather have Bill Murray crash their wedding than Chevy. Chase is famous for being rude and for snapping at people in interviews. It’s not only socially acceptable to hate Chevy Chase but it’s kind of expected, especially if you’re an extremely online comedy nerd.
Myself, I have to admit that I wonder why Chase’s personality is the business of anyone other than the people who have work with him. Does the fact that he’s not lovable in real life somehow make Christmas Vacation less entertaining to watch in December and if so, why? One might be tempted to wonder if some grace can be given to an 82 year-old man who is obviously in frail health and whose ideas about comedy were developed in a time very different from today.
That many people would answer that question with a resounding “no,” is evidence of just how bad of a reputation Chevy Chase has. Marina Zenovich, the director of I’m Chevy Chase And You’re Not, described Chevy Chase as being the “rudest” person that she has ever interviewed and you can see more than a little of that while watching the documentary. He replies to one question with, “You b*tch.” (I gave up cursing for Lent and I’m not going back on my word just to quote Chevy Chase.) Another question leads to him telling the interviewer that she’s stupid. When asked about Terry Sweeney, Chase’s first reaction is to laugh and his second reaction is to say that he had heard Sweeney was dead. (Sweeney is alive and, like many of the people who have worked with Chase in the past, declined to be interviewed for the documentary. We can probably learn more from so many of them not wanting to talk about working Chase than we could from any of their interviews.)
And yet, there are scenes where you can see evidence of the aging and very human person hiding underneath all of the rudeness and the bluster. When Zenovich mentions that a lot of people dislike Chase, the pain in his eyes will take you by surprise. When he meets a fan in a diner, he seems to be genuinely touched. Chase’s love for his family comes through, as does their love for him. His daughter talks about a time when Chase nearly died and the viewer is reminded that, regardless of all the stories, he’s still a father and a husband. There’s a moment where Chase seems to forget the name of his first wife. Is he being a jerk or is he an 80-something man with memory issues? It’s far too easy to make assumptions, both good and bad, about famous people who we don’t actually know.
The first fourth of the documentary discusses the early days of Chase’s career while the second fourth deals with his declining stardom and his reputation for being difficult. Performers like Dan Aykroyd, Beverly D’Angelo, and Goldie Hawn all appear to defend him while others are a bit less charitable. And yet, the most important part of the documentary comes towards the end, when Chase attends a showing a Christmas Vacation and takes questions from people in the audience. Even then, Chase is a profane smart-aleck and the audience loves it.
And, for at least a little while, Chevy Chase seems to love it too.
Alcoholic painter James Sunderland (Jeremy Irvine) is consumed with bad memories. He remembers the time that he met Mary Crane (Hannah Emily Anderson) at a bus stop on a mountain that overlooked the idyllic town of Silent Hill. He remembers falling in love with Mary. He remembers living in Silent Hill with her. And he remembers the circumstances that led to him leaving the town without her. Now, James spends him time in bars and dodges meetings with his therapist (Nicola Alexis).
Then, from seemingly out of nowhere, James receives a letter from Mary, asking him to return to Silent Hill and to save her. He heads into a town that is far different from the place that he remembers. A permanent mist now fills the streets of Silent Hill and ash continually falls from the sky. Every time static is heard on a radio, it means that something dangerous is nearby. Monsters emerge from the darkness. James meets a variety of people, from the slovenly Eddie (Pearse Egan) to Maria (Hannah Emily Anderson), who looks enough like Mary that they could be sisters. (And, as you already noticed, both Mary and Maria are played by the same actress.)
It’s a deadly and dangerous town. Myself, if I had been lucky enough to get out of Silent Hill the first time, I would probably never return. However, James has his own guilt and personal demons to confront….
Return to Silent Hill is based on a video game, Silent Hill 2. Now, before I say anything else, I should make clear that I have not played Silent Hill 2. I’ve been told that the film sticks to the basics of the game’s plot while changing some very important details. The biggest change appears to be that Return to Silent Hill features the cult from the earlier Silent Hill game (and film) whereas Silent Hill 2 did not. From what I’ve read, that’s actually a pretty big change and it actually alters the way that some of James’s actions are interpreted. I don’t want to spoil the film but I will say that I can understand why fans of the game were not particularly happy with the movie.
As for the movie itself, it has some effective moments. The Silent Hill imagery is undeniably creepy. After watching the movie, I took a nap and I actually had a nightmare about a killer with a pyramid head. I have Return to Silent Hill to thank for that. (Thanks a lot, movie!) But, my goodness, is this ever a slow film! If any movie needed to be a 70-minute animated film, it was Return to Silent Hill. Instead, excluding the end credits, it’s a 94-minute live action film that feels considerably longer. Hannah Emily Anderson is boring as Mary but considerably better as Maria. Jeremy Irvine delivers his lines with a bland blankness. The faceless, acid-bleeding zombie thing had more personality.
A lot of effort was obviously made to capture the look of the video game while shooting Return to Silent Hill. I actually appreciated the filmmakers dedication to the film’s visual style. That said, the end result was that watching the film felt a lot like watching someone else play a video game. It’s slightly interesting at first but eventually, you just want to grab the controller and steal a car of your own.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00. The show is currently on Prime.
I’m saved by the bell! …. but for how long?
Episode 1.7 “Homecoming King”
(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 23rd, 1993)
The big Homecoming dance is coming up and Lindsay has been nominated for Homecoming Queen, just as her mom (Diane Sainte-Marie) was years ago. Lindsay should be excited but her mom has made it clear that she doesn’t want Lindsay going to the dance with Tommy D. In fact, her mom doesn’t want Lindsay dating Tommy D at all. Tommy D is a troublemaker! Lindsay gets so angry that she decides not to go to the dance at all but instead, Tommy D tells her that she has to go to the dance so that she can be crowned as Homecoming Queen. Tommy says that he does screw up a lot. Maybe they should see other people.
(Then his name would be Tommy DD. I swear, does anyone even go to class at this school?)
Uh-oh. It looks like smarmy Chad Westerfield (Jimmy Mardsen) is planning on asking Lindsay to the dance. Scott’s going to have to come up with a scheme to make sure that Chad doesn’t win Homecoming King and that Tommy and Lindsay get back together….
Wait a minute …. who is that playing Chad Westerfield? THAT’S A YOUNG JAMES MARSDEN! Lindsay should definitely go to the dance with Chad Westerfield! Screw Tommy D! Lindsay, your date is here!
This was one of James Marsden’s earliest roles but he already had the looks and the charisma that would make him one of my favorite actors. Even though we’re supposed to hate Chad and there’s a scene where he reveals that he’s just pretending to be nice so that he’ll win the Homecoming King election, James Marsden is still so innately likable that it’s hard not to be disappointed when Scott rigs the election so that Tommy wins as a write-in candidate. (Homecoming Queen is won by Megan, also a write-in candidate. The “nerds” voted for her because she came to the dance with Weasel after Chad ghosted her once he found out Lindsay was available.) Jonathan Angel was likably earnest as Tommy D but sorry, he just can’t compete with James Marsden.
(What type of school allows write-in votes in an election?)
Beyond featuring James Marsden in an early role, this episode is notable as a good example of Saved By The Bell at its most hypocritical. Lindsay’s mother is portrayed as being wrong-headed because she judges Tommy D on his appearance. And yet, we’re supposed to howl with laughter when Scott asks one of the nerdy girls to the dance. (Scott is trying to get the school’s nerds to vote for Tommy.) Saved By The Bell was always been quick to preach tolerance while also encouraging its audience to laugh at anyone who didn’t have the right look. That was especially true during New Class.
Sad to say, this was the only appearance that James Marsden made on Saved By The Bell: The New Class. He was smart enough not to stick around.
Cassie Aveson (Abbie Cobb) is a directionless teenager whose life has been going nowhere since high school. Her mother, Joyce (Maeve Quinlan), encourages Cassie to at least consider going to junior college but Cassie says that she’s not even sure that she ever wants to go to college at all. (I tried that same argument on my mom after I graduated high school. I didn’t get very far.) Wanting to spend more time with her daughter, single mother Joyce arranges for Cassie to get a job at the same bank where Joyce works.
So far so good, right? Unfortunately, when three masked robbers using voice distortion devices rob the bank, one of them grabs Cassie and takes her as a hostage. Another one of the robbers shoots a security guard. After the robbers take off with Cassie and $600,000 in stolen money, Joyce is shocked to discover that FBI Agent Mendoza (Rosa Blaasi) suspects that Cassie was in on the robbery.
“Do you have children?” Joyce asks Mendoza..
After hesitating, Mendoza admits that she does not. Well, that’s all we need to know about her! Unless you have children, you have no right to suspect that anyone’s child might be involved in a crime. So, I guess, maybe don’t join the FBI if that’s the case because your job is going to be super-difficult.
As for Cassie, she is innocent as far as the bank robbery is concerned. However, she does know the three people under the masks. She went to high school with them. Grace Miller (Davida Williams) is the concerned and responsible friend who is planning on going to law school, even if she’s currently serving as a get away driver. Marie (Augie Duke) is the bad girl who has a heavily tattooed boyfriend named Nick (James Ferris) and who was probably voted Most Likely To Shoot A Security Guard. And finally, Abbie (Cassi Thomson) is the apologetic outcast who Cassie was once suspended for defending.
It’s a teenage bank heist!
Released in 2012, Teenage Bank Heist is one of the best of the old school Lifetime films. It not only embraces the melodrama but it holds on tight and demands even more. Grace and Abbi have a reason for robbing the bank that goes beyond simple thrills but to reveal all of the details would not be fair to those who have yet to see the film. One of the joys of Teenage Bank Heist is that it’s a film that continually leaves you shocked as to how far it takes things. Teenage Bank Heist is totally over-the-top, ludicrous, and just a ton of fun. Watching this film, you will believe that a bunch of teenage girls can rob a bank and get involved in an international incident. You will also believe that a suburban movie can pick up a gun and become an ice cold vigilante when she needs to. It’s Lifetime at its best.
Early on in the film, there’s a beautiful shot of a bunch of loose bills floating in the air. It’s the type of shot that reminds us that we’re watching a film by Doug Campbell, who was responsible for the best Lifetime films. Teenage Bank Heist is currently streaming on Prime and Tubi and you should watch it immediately. Do it for every teenager who has ever literally had no choice but to rob a bank. It happens more often than you may think.
Just as I did last year on this date, I’m picking today’s song of the day as much for the video as the song. By combining one of The Prodigy’s best songs with scenes from George Miller’s best film, whoever put this video together did a wonderful job!
Through the Shattered Lens 