Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

This week, it’s competition to see who can be the worst character.

Episode 2.23 “The Houseguest”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 29th, 2000)

A recurring theme for these reviews is that Lisa (the character, not me) is the worst.  Amazingly, in this episode, she’s only the third worse.

The second worse is Jason.  When Murray announces that he’s going to be spending the week at a convention for surfers, he leaves the key to his apartment with Lisa at the Surf Shack so that Lisa can give the key to the house sitter.  Jason and Scott, wondering why they’ve never been invited to Murray’s apartment, steal both the key and the note that Murray left.  Along with Lisa, they go to his apartment and break in.  It turns out that Murray, who is the son of a multi-millionaire, has a really nice apartment that has a hot tub in the living room!  In other words, he’s a rich guy with a rich apartment.

Now, there’s a few things to consider, when it comes to deciding who is the worst of these three.  First off, all three of them are breaking into Murray’s apartment despite the fact that he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want them there.  Secondly, thanks to Jason and Scott, Murray’s house sitter is now out of a job because they didn’t get the key or the note telling them where the apartment was located.  Third, Jason decides to move into the apartment and pretend that he owns it because he has a crush on the lingerie model living next door.

When Murray comes back unexpectedly, Jason tells Murray that Peter’s aunt just died and Peter would appreciate it if Murray spent a week living at the Collins house.  Jason then tells Peter and Scott that Murray’s aunt died and that he needs a place to stay for a week.  This is the dumbest freaking thing I have ever seen.  Why would Jason come up with two lies that would definitely fall apart as soon as Murray or Peter or Scott, for that matter, had any sort of casual conversation?

Regardless of his logic (or lack of it), it’s all enough to position Jason as being worse than both Scott and even Lisa.

And yet,  of all the character in this particular episode, Jason is only the second worse.  Alex (Suzanne Davis) is even more terrible than Jason in this episode.  When soap opera star Traycee says that she needs to hire an assistant, Alex volunteers for the job.  At first, Traycee tells Alex to fill in for Lisa at the Surf Shack so Traycee can take Lisa to the new Matt Damon movie.  (I hope they enjoyed The Talented Mr. Ripley.)  Then Tracyee orders Alex to “detail” Peter’s car.  That all made me laugh but then Alex insisted on helping Traycee out on the show.  Traycee lets Alex read the latest script for her show.  Alex gets offended by the script, telling Traycee that, since she’s playing a doctor, she needs to stand up for herself and tell the producer that she’s not going to wear a bikini in all of her scenes.  Even though Traycee doesn’t want to, she tells the producer exactly what Alex told her to say.  And Traycee gets fired.

Why is Alex the worse?  Alex is correct that the soap opera is exploitive and sexist and not a realistic portrayal of life in hospital.  However, Alex is not the one on the show.  Traycee is one on the show and she’s happy with her job and she’s certainly making more money as an actress on a soap opera than Alex is making as lifeguard or Lisa is making as a waitress.  It’s not Alex’s place to tell Traycee to refuse to do a scene, especially when Traycee herself doesn’t have any objection to anything in the script.  Traycee does get her job back, on the condition that she fire Alex.  “Okay,” Traycee said, “you’re fired.”  YAY, TRAYCEE!

(To be honest, there’s something a little hypocritical about Malibu CA criticizing a show for featuring women in bikinis when every episode of Malibu CA might as well have been shot with ogle cam.)

This was a bad episode but, to give credit where credit is due, Brandon Brooks and Priscilla Inga Taylor once again showed that they were the only two consistently good things about Malibu CA.  Even though they were playing caricatures, both Brooks and Taylor brought a lot of energy and sincerity to their performances.  It made Murray and Traycee the only likable characters on both this particular episode and the series overall.

Only three more episodes to go!  My nightmare will soon be over.