Music Video of the Day: Radar Love by Golden Earring (1974, dir. ???)

Posted on August 7, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

I’ve done three Golden Earring videos at this point. However, I feel as if I have been talking about Orson Welles films from the 1950s onward as if Citizen Kane doesn’t exist.

If there is one song that people know by Golden Earring, then it’s Radar Love. This thing has been a staple of rock radio for decades. It’s one of those songs you can put on, and people instantly know what kind of station they have come across, as well as the decade the song comes from. It’s so 70s it hurts.

The song has been covered, used in games, on TV, and in movies so many times that there is an entire website devoted to this one song. I can’t say I have ever come across that before.

But we’re here for the video.

First things first, look at Barry Hay. Look at him!

The bolero jacket. The top. The pants. And that hair. The hair!

I’ve only seen him top that look with the one he had in the video for Something Heavy Going Down.

Something Heavy Going Down (1984)

The difference being that the red jumpsuit with the gigantic boombox was done on purpose for the video. By looking at another 70s Golden Earring video, that appears to have been Hay’s standard look back then. It’s glorious.

I like the fake freeze-frame this video opens up with. I have no idea why it’s there, but I think it’s a neat way to start off the video.

I’m assuming that since this appears to have been their musical introduction to the world, they did these closeup shots of the band members in order to visually introduce them to the world.

But why do that if you’re not going to put their names there? That seems a little weird.

Then again, this is something that happens.

Who exactly does he think he’s throwing that guitar to?

This is made even dumber by the fact that they immediately cut to him with the guitar back in his hands.

At least the leap over the drum set is a way of capping off the video.

Overall, I like the video. They didn’t just stick the camera in front of them while they performed on a stage. It’s edited in such a manner that brings you into the performance. They added some creative elements to it. Despite the lack of names under them, I think it was clever to use the instrumental opening portion of the video for that purpose before showing us them in action. I can see this video doing well going around the US and European TV shows that they couldn’t be on in order to stand in for a live performance.

So there it is. I now feel comfortable doing more Golden Earring knowing that I have spotlighted the video for the song that kicked off their career.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Hiroshima Mon Amour by Alcatrazz (1984, dir. ???)

Posted on August 6, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

After leaving Rainbow as their lead singer, Graham Bonnet and others formed the group Alcatrazz. While I didn’t know who he was until I sat down to write this, young Swedish guitarist Yngwie Malmsteen appears to have benefited the most from the group–as opposed to Graham Bonnet. He was only 20 when the album that had Hiroshima Mon Amour on it was released.

The following is from an interview Bonnet gave with Songfacts:

Songfacts: And then what are some memories of writing the song “Hiroshima Mon Amour”?

Graham: I saw a movie when I was in school called Hiroshima Mon Amour [a 1959 French film]. We played in Japan a lot, and I thought this would be a nice little tribute to what happened. I was always horrified by what happened. And Hiroshima, my love, it was like, goddamn, you know, I didn’t want that to happen again. So I read up a little bit about it, and that’s how that came about. It was something I thought should never have happened. It was just a horrible thing. I couldn’t believe that the Americans would do this, or anybody would do that to anybody. It was sort of a protest song in a way.

It’s been a little over a year since I watched Hiroshima Mon Amour, so I can’t speak to any potential similarities between this and the film.

Music Video of the Day: Clowny Clown Clown by Crispin Glover (1989, dir. Crispin Glover)

Posted on August 5, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

Move over, David Lynch. Decades before you and your Crazy Clown Time, George McFly did Clowny Clown Clown.

Glover brought us this glorious piece of songwriting and the corresponding music video to us earthlings in 1989. Well, at least that’s when his album, The Big Problem ≠ The Solution. The Solution = Let It Be, came out. I’m assuming the video came out at the same time.

I love the genre listed on Wikipedia: Outsider music. I had no idea that was a label given to some music.

That’s it! As much cult success as this video seems to have had over the years, much like David Hasselhoff’s cover of Hooked On A Feeling, I can’t find anything on this.

Enjoy!

30 Days Of Surrealism:

Late Night Cable Review: Cinderella’s Hot Night (2017, dir. Dean McKendrick)

Posted on August 4, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

Ever wanted to watch Dean McKendrick and some of his usual late night cable actors try to spoof a Hallmark movie? I’m glad I have now.

You could take that title card, put in the title of a Hallmark movie, and not have to change anything else about it.

The movie starts off with narration from Christine Nguyen. She introduces us to the prince of Cratonia named Steven (Kyle Knies). Steven’s father is not happy about his son being a bachelor.

Sarah Hunter is his secretary named Samantha. She shows up to tell the audience that there is going to be some business dealings with an American company, so that he will have an excuse to meet Cinderella.

The movie wastes no time cutting to Cindy (Karlie Montana) who works at Universal Imports. She’s not having the best of days. At least she isn’t getting fired for wearing that top to work.

In fact, her boss Patrick (William F. Bryant) is concerned about her, and invites her into his Godfather office.

Why does he have that?

Also, I guess he didn’t live happily ever after with Kira Noir at the end of The Deadly Pickup (2016).

The Deadly Pickup (2016, dir. Dean McKendrick)

As you can read, she is getting kicked out of her apartment. Her boss does what any good boss would do to make sure an intern doesn’t lose their position by having to get a job. He gives her a spare room at his house.

Patrick could die tomorrow, and no one where he lives would care.

Then we meet his wife, Mona, played by Beverly Lynne.

That’s a face you can trust. She plays the wicked stepmother character.

They have a butler who has a name within the film, but I think his stage name will do just fine.

If I had to sum-up Regis’ character in this film, then it would be like the maî·tre d in Barbara Broadcast (1977). That guy has to be given a blow job by any waitress or costumer who drops dishes, a glass, or a vase–anything breakable. He doesn’t seem to get any pleasure from it. It’s part of the job for him. He really seems to just want to go about his business managing the restaurant.

Barbara Broadcast (1977, dir. Radley Metzger)

That’s Regis. With that in mind, it has been a whole five minutes of runtime.

By the time they shot this film, Lynne was 43 years-old. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to see her get a scene. You don’t usually see that in one of these late night cable movies.

Immediately after they finish, Patrick shows up to tell us that his company will have some dealings with the prince.

What’s missing? We have Cinderella. We have the wicked stepmother. We have the father who sometimes is part of the Cinderella story. It’s the stepsisters we need.

Enter Grace (Blair Williams) and Sylvia (Penny Pax). This isn’t the Emma Marx from the first film. This is Penny Pax circa the sequels to The Submission Of Emma Marx (2013).

They’re exactly what you would expect–ditzy and entitled.

Patrick tells them Cindy is coming, and we move onto the next scene.

And that is all you need to see of the next scene. That is all there is to it. This is the only time they meet until much later. This quick, casual, and super-short scene.

Wait a second, this place was burned to the ground in Paranormal Sexperiments (2016).

Paranormal Sexperiments (2016, dir. Terrance Ryker)

I don’t like it when different films that use the same sets break continuity.

Patrick brings Cindy home. She gets the reception you would expect from the sisters.

Penny Pax, presumedly because she’s sick of her dress causing her to blend in with the bed…

grabs Regis, and drags him to another room. They must really expect privacy in this house because they never close the door.

It even appears to have confused one of the actors or crew members, because they get caught in this shot.

I was confused too. The movie was expecting me to get into this sex scene with those three pink dogs in the background? I couldn’t stop looking at them throughout this part.

The next morning, they make an immigration joke…

before Patrick tells us he is going to hop a plane to go see Steven on his native movie-set.

To quote Christine Nguyen, Cindy has been left in a “den of vipers.” I think Cindy is wondering about that statue behind her. I certainly was.

They make Cindy fetch a bottle of wine.

After arriving in Cratonia, Patrick and Samantha hit it off well. They have sex…

we see an Instagram photo…

and Patrick dies along with everyone onboard the plane.

Christine Nguyen tells us this via voiceover narration in a very nonchalant and upbeat way.

Oh, well. Goodbye, Patrick. We hardly knew you.

Anyways, Nguyen finally decides to show up as Cindy’s fairy godmother.

Cindy’s main problem is that she is lonely. With a little magic, Cindy’s fairy godmother is naked, and ready to pleasure Cindy.

That’s because even James Franco had his mind blown in Interior. Leather Bar. (2013) about the fact that he could be making a movie with pornographic sequences in it and the Disney film Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) at the same time.

It makes sense that these two would end up together. They already did this in a previous movie.

College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives (2015, dir. Dean McKendrick)

I have two problems with this scene.

The first is that picture of a pineapple on the wall. The second is the tiara. It’s a little difficult to pay attention when you keep wondering how that is going to stay on.

Mona now visits a cameo appearance by Ryan Driller in order to find out that her husband was in a lot of debt, and she’s stuck with it. This part only exists so they can’t pay Regis to stay around, and can con Cindy into doing their bidding in exchange for continuing to stay with them. That’s how she is going to slip into the standard Cinderella role.

We also find out that Regis comes from Iowa and is probably going end up shoveling pig shit.

“Pig shit” must be the magic phrase though, because Grace decides to have sex with him before he leaves.

Now we can skip over some things because it’s the standard Cinderella stuff. The only thing you need to know is that Steven decides to hold a New Year’s Eve party in America.

Cindy has a shower scene so she can have a couple of flashbacks. One of the two flashbacks is to the only time Steven and her have been in a room together up to this point. It’s as if they felt they needed to remind you that they even know each other.

Moaning about not being able to go to the ball, a visit from The Fairy Godmother, and we are at the party.

I beg to differ. What about that tattoo on her arm?

Inside, you know the deal. Hi there, guy on the right.

She ends up running away from the party and The Fairy Godmother’s magic is faulty as usual. It leaves one of the shoes intact.

Steven wants her tracked down, and he’ll creep out Sarah Hunter if he has to in order to find her.

He arrives at what appears to be the entrance to a different house that was used in Bikini Model Mayhem (2015).

Bikini Model Mayhem (2015, dir. Jon Taylor)

After you get over the red Buddha sitting next to a plant in the shape of hair on a troll doll, he has found her. They consummate the shoe fitting.

They live happily ever after.

Mona and her daughters are turned into “scullery maids.”

And I guess Regis went back to Iowa. He gets no closure in this film.

That was different from the usual. The acting is fine all-around. They really did take a generic Hallmark plot and add sex to it. I didn’t like seeing Penny Pax play this kind of character. However, if you haven’t seen her play Emma Marx, then I can’t see it bothering you. The sex stuff was fine even if they really should have taken some of the humorous things out of the room. I mean I liked them for the purposes of having fun with this movie. But if you are watching it for the sex, then I could see it being distracting, and taking you out of the moment. The plot is Cinderella. You know the story.

This one is about average.

Music Video of the Day: Clear Nite, Moonlight or Clear Night, Moonlight by Golden Earring (1984, dir. Dick Maas)

Posted on August 4, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

First things first, the title. The official posting of the video lists the title as Clear Nite, Moonlight. However, both the greatest hits album I have and mvdbase list the song as Clear Night, Moonlight. That’s why I included both in the title of this post.

This song is from Golden Earring’s 1984 album N.E.W.S., that has what must not only be their most controversial song, but video–When The Lady Smiles.

I’m spotlighting this video for a few different reasons. The first is that I love the song, and wanted to share it. The second reason is that I like the darkness of the video–literally and figuratively–that is juxtaposed with an upbeat song that makes you want to sing along. The same is true with When The Lady Smiles, which probably explains how it got used in such a weird context, despite the lyrics. I’ll talk about that video another time.

The last is the ending.

We see the band abandon their beat-up vehicle after pulling up to a house.

They help a woman down from her room past her sleeping father.

They steal her father’s car.

They rob a car dealer, and kill him in the process.

They go to a cafe.

We see she is having a good time despite the murder.

In fact, when her father says, “Bloody murder,” we cut to her smiling.

They nearly die by crashing head-on into a truck.

They go to a drive-in theater where we see her cry, and Hay look confused and sad when the film eats itself. I’m assuming it is a film with Rudolph Valentino in it.

Then we some matching on action between Hay trying to start a lighter and people loading guns.

Then a kid is taken to sit on a tow truck.

The car stops.

We zoom in on the kid, and we can see and hear bullets filling the car, which presumedly kills everyone inside.

I have no idea why that last part happens. The kid doesn’t even look like he comes from the 1980s.

Edit: I messed up when originally posted this. I missed the “So Little Time” license plate at the start, which foreshadows this ending. It doesn’t come out of nowhere.

Clear Nite, Moonlight (1984)

I also think that the video is meant to take place in the 1950s, and not just have a retro look to it. That might explain the appearance of the kid.

The whole video has this otherworldly feeling about it that seesaws between comfort and unease, happiness and death, and then screeches to a halt with the cops unloading on the five passengers with what sounds like every gun they have, all in front of kid watching as he eats.

Enjoy!

30 Days Of Surrealism:

Music Video of the Day: Runaway by Bon Jovi (1984, dir. Michael Cuesta)

Posted on August 3, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

Back to the book, I Want My MTV, again. One thing I’d like to make clear before I start is that if there is one group that dominates that book, then it’s Bon Jovi.

Doc McGhee [managed Bon Jovi, Mötley Crüe, Scorpions, and Skid Row at the height of each band’s career]: I’d just starting to manage Bon Jovi when we did the video for “Runaway.” There’s a chubby girl who’s a runaway, but she has laser eyes, and the band is playing in a warehouse that’s burning. In the ’80s, every video had to look like Escape from New York. Something had to be on fire, and you had to be in an alley that was wet, or else you couldn’t shoot a video.

Seen here! A chubby girl.

Also, lasers!

Okay, so McGhee’s memory might not be so good. I can give him a break on both counts. I have to imagine that in 1984, he was bombarded with so many models trying out for these parts that Jennifer Gatti actually does look chubby reaching back around 30 years in his mind.

You might know Gatti from playing Ba’el on Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Star Trek: The Next Generation — Birthright, Part II (1993)

Cut to a few years later after the rocky start with Runaway:

Doc McGhee: I mean, MTV was playing so much Mötley and Bon Jovi, I’d have to tell them, “You’re overexposing my artists. If you don’t take them off the air, I’m not going to give you another video.” I was fighting to get less airplay, not more.

Len Epand [was a video production executive for PolyGram Records]: Once Bon Jovi established a winning style on “Bad Name” and “Livin’ on a Prayer,” we pulled their prior videos out of circulation. They were all deemed embarrassing, or at least not the right image. We notified all video outlets, including MTV, that they were no longer licensed for use. I doubt they ever appeared on broadcast again.

Luckily, the video is up officially on YouTube. While not being fond of the video, the band apparently still plays the song during concerts. It’s on the greatest hits album of there’s that I have. I can understand why they pulled this video back then. They had hit on a winning image with videos like Livin’ On A Prayer. They ran that formula into the ground, but still, it worked.

Len Epand: For “Runaway,” we used a commercial director named Michael Cuesta, who had no music-video experience.

I can’t only find one other credit for Cuesta–Crow Dog (1979). I’m not even sure that entry on IMDb is him because there is another Michael Cuesta who has been successful as a producer and director.

Bob Montgomery (Robert Mont) was the producer. I can only find a couple of music video credits for him.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Run Runaway by Slade (1984, dir. Tim Pope)

Posted on August 2, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

If you’ve ever heard of Slade, then it’s likely because their songs Cum On Feel The Noize and Mama Weer All Crazee Now were covered by Quiet Riot and The Runaways. I’m not sure what led me to find them, but I’ve enjoyed their music ever since. I had no idea they made it out of the 1970s in order to have music videos like this one out there.

The reason we have it is that Quiet Riot’s cover re-popularized Cum On Feel The Noize. This created attention in America for their music. Thus, we got Run Runaway, among other songs, which did well in the States. And we got this video to go with it.

If the Wikipedia article on the band is to be believed, then they are cited as an influence on just about everyone from the late-70s onward. I can understand that. For me, they fall into the same category as Sweet–ahead of their time, underrated, and influential.

Surprisingly, there is a fair amount of info about the video over on the Wikipedia page on the song:

A music video was filmed to promote the single, which was directed by Tim Pope for GLO Productions and cost £16,000 to make. It was shot at Eastnor Castle in Ledbury, Herefordshire. In keeping with the song’s celtic/jig sound, the video featured the band performing the song in front of an audience dressed in tartan. Other sequences showed a marching bagpipe band and a kilted Scot grappling with a caber.

The video was a big success in America, where it reached the top of the playlist charts. Its constant showing on MTV helped “Run Runaway” become Slade’s biggest American hit. Despite its success, the band were disappointed that the video did not feature any direct shots of Powell. In a 1986 interview, Lea said that the band’s only requirement in their music videos is that each band member is featured, however in the “Run Runaway” video, Powell is only seen in the background. In a 1986 fan club opinion poll, fans voted the video was the band’s best music video.

In 2011, the coat guitarist Dave Hill wore in the video sold on eBay for £295. The seller had bought the coat many years ago from the Slade Fan Club where Hill auctioned off a few items to raise money to build a home recording studio.

The only thing I would add is that I like that it captures the goofiness of the band. I especially love the part near the end when the camera is looking up at them. You keep thinking it’s going to cut away from them, but it doesn’t. They just keep going.

Enjoy!

Music Video of the Day: Suck You Dry by Mudhoney (1992, dir. Charles Peterson)

Posted on August 1, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

I didn’t think there’d be much to say about this video other than that Mudhoney–much like Meat Puppets–are one of those groups that get brought up if you want to go further than just Nirvana and the other members of the Big Four. In fact, they go back to another group that is part of those bands that are important, but aren’t household names–Green River.

The only other thing I noticed was Krist Novoselic in the video.

I wasn’t even sure when this video was done.

Then I came across an article over on the A.V. Club’s website. I can’t say I’m a fan of that particular article even if Sean O’Neal did seem to be writing in a style to mirror the video and career of the band–which I do appreciate. It did provide me with some useful information though. Most notably that this video wasn’t done in 1998 as the video would suggest, not only by it claiming to be celebrating 10 years of grunge, but by also looking like a video I would expect from that era by a band such as Mudhoney.

This was apparently done in 1992. It’s a joke. You’ve got the band playing at the Admiral Benbow Inn in Seattle. It has the commemorative posters, and the viewer can enjoy both the song and energy of the performance. But it’s sad. That shot of Novoselic above gets that across quite nicely.

I didn’t grow up on this particular song. But there is a song I did grow up on that sums up what I read in the aforementioned article concerning the band and this video–We Are Not Going To Make It by The Presidents Of The United States Of America.

I got the director from another posting of the video that was linked to from the Wikipedia article on their discography.

Peterson–like many music-video directors–is a photographer. His work has shown up in films such as 2015’s Cobain: Montage of Heck. Unfortunately, I can’t find any listings of music videos he’s done. He’s also written some books about the grunge scene. You can see some of his photographs on his website.

There’s one last thing I’d like to mention. Despite seeing the Sub Pop label all the time as a kid, I wouldn’t have recognized the founders of the label. Courtesy of the A.V. Club article, Bruce Pavitt is the one tending bar, and Jonathan Poneman is the one manning the door.

Enjoy!

Late Night Cable Horror Review: Paranormal Sexperiments (2016, dir. Terrance Ryker)

Posted on July 31, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

The movie opens up with a shot of a house from Erotic Vampires Of Beverly Hills (2015) and College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives (2015).

Erotic Vampires Of Beverly Hills (2015, dir. Dean McKendrick)

College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives (2015, dir. Dean McKendrick)

Inside, we meet Cosgrove (Robert Donavan). He starts off the film talking to a painting of Erika Jordan who plays Lady Dracovich. He tells her that she thought she would live forever, but that death got her anyways. He seems to imply that he had something to do with her death.

Of course within seconds of him walking away, she appears on the stairs to make a threat, and start the opening credits.

Now it’s time to meet our main character. That would be Cindy, played by Blair Williams. She’s visiting Madame Zola, played Kira Noir.

After saying some stuff, Zola presses a remote control, and releases some special effects.

I think the ghosts are at the bottom of the screen, and not on the ceiling, Cindy.

It’s pretty funny. She will look almost every direction except where we see the ghosts.

Cindy wants to know her future. Zola lays it on pretty thick. All you need to know is that she has a glowing ball, a remote control for effects, and she recently “repossessed” the powers of the psychic world that allow her to know all.

In order to help Cindy, Zola needs to know what Cindy’s fears are. Those would be the following:

Enclosed spaces
Open spaces
Hot food
Cold food
Gluten-free food
Children
Vampires
Birds
Cornucopias

I’d like to think that’s Kira Noir wondering why they couldn’t get Jacqui Holland to play this role. Holland appears to have gone back to making B-movie horror films.

So, let me get this straight about Cindy’s fears.

She’s afraid of where almost every scene in this movie will take place.
She’s afraid of the very few times she will be outside.
She can’t eat…
She can’t eat the cakes that show up later.
I’m assuming the cake is gluten-free.
So are the filmmakers, which is why there is always legal info at the end of the credits concerning the age of the actors.
Vampires don’t live here anymore. McKendrick made sure to clean them out after Erotic Vampires Of Beverly Hills.
Who isn’t afraid that the placeholder on IMDb for a remake of The Birds is going to turn into a real movie?
I guess she’s afraid of the ending of the movie then.

I’m being harsh on Blair. She isn’t the best at the bimbo routine, nor the evil one, but she pulls off both well-enough for this movie. I don’t have any real complaints about her performance.

After a few more lines of dialog, they have sex. It makes sense because…I have no idea.

Now we follow Blair home to find out that rent is due.

And by home, I of course mean the room from The Love Machine (2016) and Model For Murder (2015).

The Love Machine (2016, dir. Dean McKendrick)

Model For Murder (2016, dir. Dean McKendrick)

We also meet Cindy’s roommate Sara (Morgan Lee). The last time I saw her was in a small role in the movie Carnal Wishes (2015).

Carnal Wishes (2015, dir. Jon Taylor)

As you can see, she finds it a bit ridiculous that with rent due, Blair went and saw Madame Zola, regardless of Cindy’s assurances that she got her money’s worth. Oh, and their landlord’s name is Mr. Catwhistle. I just thought I’d mention that.

They get a knock on the door. It’s Cosgrove. He’s here to deliver nonsense.

Dracovich wasn’t liked in life, so she left instructions that the first person who pushed the “like” button on her My Spacebook page would inherit her estate. Yes, they really say “My Spacebook.” It’s no dumber than Degrassi’s Facerange. The news causes them to make a stupid joke.

As you might have already guessed because you’ve seen this plot in a million other movies before, there is a catch. They need to protect a book, or they lose the estate.

They aren’t allowed to read it either.

Now it’s time to meet Professor Gordon. He’s played by Andrew Espinoza Long.

Cindy wants some leave from her class to deal with this estate business, which is fine by him. During this, he is having some trouble with Carter Cruise under the desk. I’m just going to assume she dropped a pencil down there, and was to embarrassed to popup while Cindy was still there.

Why is she wearing a graduation cap and gown? I don’t know. Here’s a shot of Long’s chest to distract you.

It’s like I caught him in the middle of posing for a perfume ad. They had sex of course in case you were confused as to why he is half-naked.

Blair pays a visit to Madame Zola so she can give her an ominous warning, which is ignored, and followed by Blair and Sara going to the Dracovich estate. We see that same overhead shot from Erotic Vampires Of Beverly Hills as they enter the house.

Erotic Vampires Of Beverly Hills (2015, dir. Dean McKendrick)

They head upstairs. On their way up, Sara looks at the portrait, and we find out that she would have sex with Dracovich if she were alive. Naturally, Cindy touches the painting, becomes possessed by Dracovich…

and they have sex. Some people smash a champagne bottle to christen something new. Others have a sex scene, so that they can poke fun at the woman always keeping her heels on by having Cindy barefoot while Sara leaves her sneakers on.

If you’re thinking this seems like a lot of sex so far, then you’d be right. This is only a half-hour into the movie, and there’s already been three scenes. There’s a lot in this one.

Cosgrove shows up at the house. His Dracovich sense must have been tingling.

This is as good a time as any to bring up that the best scenes in this movie are with Donavan. He does a good job. I like it when they get in an established actor to be in these. Even if by “established”, I mean he was in Trancers 6 (2002).

Trancers 6 (2002, dir. Jay Woelfel)

The actual reason he is at the house is because he needs Cindy–who is still possessed–to sign some papers.

We find out that Dracovich was a sexual predator. If you were a man, then she’d turn you into her servant. If you were a woman, then she’d turn you into her slave. And I’m sure if you were gender-fluid, then she’d turn you into a synonym for servant or slave.

Talking, talking, Cosgrove probably pushed her off the stairs to kill her, Dracovich leaves Cindy’s body, Cindy is wondering why she thinks she’s been licked all over, and we are back at professor Gordon’s office.

Cathy (Carter Cruise) brings in a cake.

Close enough to “Happy homecoming.”

These two plan to go over to the Dracovich house because they don’t have any other sets to loot.

Kira Noir takes a shower so that we know that while Blair will never change clothes during this movie, at least Madame Zola is clean.

She gets a threatening call from Dracovich telling her to stay away. She knows that it’s Lady Dracovich because she hung up on her. I’m not kidding.

Back home, it’s time for a Ouija board to make a cameo appearance.

I’m sorry. I mean a Witchboard, as they call it. I haven’t seen the Witchboard movies yet, but the third one has the subtitle of “The Possession”, so it fits.

The letter thing moves, and that’s the cue for Gordon and Cathy to come in to present them with the cake.

Gordon goes off with Blair to talk about the mystery surrounding when exactly during this scene Dracovich possessed her again. All that I saw was the camera angle change. This turns on Gordon, and they proceed to have sex.

I couldn’t be less interested in this scene. Yes, the sex scenes do little for me except to allow me to not have to take as many screenshots since I can’t show those parts. But the reason this scene is particularly uninteresting to me is that once you’ve seen Long go at it with three cheerleaders in this same room, than this is really boring.

College Coeds vs. Zombie Housewives (2015, dir. Dean McKendrick)

If there’s only one sex scene I remember from any of these movies that I’ve reviewed, it’s that one.

Cathy is looking exactly where anyone would for valuables–the kitchen cabinets.

The cake opens up on her to reveal a reference to the Art PA’s pseudonym.

Now Dracovich decides to make a personal appearance. She tells Cathy that she can’t have the book unless Cathy distracts her.

Notice that the clock says it is 3:16 in the afternoon. Part way into the distraction, it will be 4:17. Is that how long they were actually going at it?

You can also see someone reflected in the oven.

I hope Erika Jordan got hazard pay. It looks like at any moment she could have hit the back of her head on the corner of the countertop.

Sara now goes around the house looking for people, and Cosgrove shows up.

At the same time, Cathy wakes up on the floor. She finds the book on the counter. She opens it so that she can become possessed.

Cosgrove comes in and takes the book before going to chew out the painting of Dracovich. We find out here that he did kill her. According to him, Dracovich can come back to life if she has a male sacrifice. He thinks there are only women here, so it won’t be an issue. He hears a woman moan, which tells him Dracovich is up to something. I’m not sure why. In this movie, that could mean some of the girls are celebrating the opening of a door.

Since there is very little time left in the movie, he is right, and finds Professor Gordon tied up on a bed having an orgy. Madame Zola shows up seemingly just to join the party. Sara jumps in too.

Off to the side of the bed, we can see Dracovich appearing to orchestrate the action.

This place really reminds me of one of the rooms in David DeCoteau’s house.

Cosgrove waits around for awhile so that we can watch before he ends the scene by opening the book. They all get zapped, but I can only show you Dracovich.

Cindy tells him he did a good job stopping Dracovich. But she wonders why he felt the need to do it so fast considering how quickly he was able to dispatch her.

It makes perfect sense, Cindy. He set the house on fire.

End of movie.

This isn’t a bad one of these movies. There is too much sex and the plot is barely existent. However, Donavan is good. It was nice to see Carter Cruise again in a role that wasn’t a complete ditz. Long was funny as usual. There were some humorous lines that I couldn’t show you because I forgot to turn on subtitles. They kept having Blair Williams say words that are almost what she means to say. There’s a little bit between her and Morgan Lee about Dracovich and Malkovich–vich is vich?

Ultimately, this one is only worth it if you are just looking for sex. There isn’t a whole lot more to it.

Music Video of the Day: Sam by Meat Puppets (1991, dir. ???)

Posted on July 31, 2017 by Valerie Troutman

If you’re like me, then you learned about the Meat Puppets thanks to Nirvana’s cover versions of Plateau; Oh, Me; and Lake Of Fire from the album, MTV Unplugged in New York. Cobain even said their name during the concert. Also, the Kirkwood brothers were guest musicians during that performance.

Like numerous videos, I am guessing about the release date based on the release date of the album it was on–Forbidden Places. The band dates back to the early-80s, and saw a resurgence of popularity thanks to Nirvana. The songs Nirvana performed are from 1984’s Meat Puppets II. They are one of those bands that are brought up whenever you hear discussions about the groups that led to Nirvana, Soundgarden, and other bands of that sort.

Despite that this is the only video on the Meat Puppets Vevo channel, I can’t find any info on it.

It’s not a complex video. The only thing noteworthy is the editing that matches the machine-gun fired lyrics. I always like editing that matches the pace of the song. It draws you in without having to tell a story, but doesn’t simply point a camera at some people standing on a stage. Otherwise, it’s just them playing a catchy song inside of a building, and outside of it.

I decided to spotlight it because it has been my queue for a while, and I love the quick delivery.

Enjoy!