Music Video of the Day: I Wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd (1991, directed by ????)


For today’s music video of the day, we have the song that was ranked #40 on Blender’s list of the 50 Worst Songs Ever.  From Color Me Badd (which I guess earned that extra d by being extra bad), here’s I Wanna Sex You Up.

Let’s break it down.

0:01 — “To the tick tock ya don’t stop” is sampled from La Di Da Di by Doug E. Fresh.

0:03 — Now, we meet the band, who appear to be Kenny G and his roadies.

0:15 — Kenny G and the boys, out for a stroll.

0:22 — “Yes, I will watch my video cassettes.”  Are we watching Swedish porn now?

0:32 — This song was released in 1991, coming at the tail end of late 80s pop but before the start of the grunge revolution.

0:41 — “We’re dancing and we’re spinning!  And now, we’re spinning and we’re dancing!”

0:47 — When listening to the vocals, take a moment to consider that this song came out the same year as Smells Like Teen Spirit and you’ll understand why Nirvana saved the music industry from itself.

0:55 — Kenny G. proves the chivalry is not dead.

1:09 — “Did I ever tell you guys my limo story?”

1:32 — 1991 was also the year that Anita Hill accused her former boss, Clarence Thomas, of sexual harassment.

1:39 — “Are you guys sure you don’t want to hear my limo story?”

1:47 — Kenny G’s trapped in an elevator!

2:16 — The community college art show is always the perfect place to pick up chicks.

2:20 — Meanwhile, Kenny G is still trapped in the elevator.

2:31 — “Doesn’t anyone want to hear about my limo ride?  Anyone?”

2:42 — Where’s your sax now, Kenny?

2:54 — She secretly taped them!?  Where are they, Russia!?

2:58 — She’s not the most discreet voyeur.

3:08 — “Come on, guys!  Just like we practiced!”

3:12 — Kenny G doesn’t need his sax to make beautiful music.

3:17 — Vladimer will be pleased.

3:28 — Woo ew ooo ew!

3:48 — “Nirvana?  What’s that?”

Music Video of the Day: Respect Yourself by Bruce Willis (1987, directed by ????)


Bruce Willis, R&B star?

It nearly happened!

Well, actually, it didn’t come close to happening but it wasn’t for lack of trying.  In 1987, when Willis was still best known for co-starring on Moonlighting, Motown records released The Return of Bruno, an album that featured Willis and a host of well-respected musicians performing 10 R&B classics.

The Return of Bruno is actually a concept album, with Willis taking on the role of Bruno Radolini, a legendary soul singer who influenced everyone from Elton John to The Bee Gees.  The Return of Bruno peaked at number 14 on the US Billboard 2000 chart and was later named the 4th worst album ever recorded by Q Magazine.  It has since become a collector’s item.  (My father owns a copy!)   Willis performed the songs in his own style, which means that despite the presence of Booker T. Jones, The Pointer Sisters, and The Temptations performing backing vocals, this is still the smirkiest R&B album of all time.  The best way to describe it would be to say that it sounds like John McClane performing karaoke.

There’s an idea!  Die Hard 6: Sing For Your Life.

Heard you the first time, Bruce!

The biggest hit to come off the album was a cover of Respect Yourself, a duet with June Pointer that featured backing vocals from the other Pointer Sisters.  The music video for Respect Yourself plays to what was then considered to be Bruce’s main strengths as an actor: blue collar cockiness and a refusal to let something like a lack of any real musical talent hold him back.

Two years after The Return of Bruno, Willis released one final album, another collection of R&B covers called If It Don’t Kill You, It Just Makes Your Stronger.  Considering Willis went from The Return of Bruno to starring in Die Hard, it was an appropriate title.

Music Video of the Day: Numb by U2 (1993, directed by Kevin Godley)


For today’s music video of the day, we break down the video that the New Musical Express named as being the 16th worst video of all time.  Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to get … Numb!

0:06 — Drip drip drip.  Someone’s in for an unpleasant shock when they get the water bill.

0:30 — Numb is one of the few U2 songs to feature lead vocals from The Edge.  The Edge’s real name is David Howell Evans.

0:35 — That’s U2’s bassist, Adam Clayton, blowing smoke in the Edge’s face.  Clayton is the only member of U2 not to sing on this track but he still plays an important role in the video, as we’ll soon see.

0:50 — Who doesn’t love a good massage?

1:00 — The Edge is learning that singing lead has its advantages.

1:17 — “You’re not Bono!”

1:23 — Holding the rope in the background is, once again, Adam Clayton.

1:45 — As Clayton ties up The Edge, drummer Larry Mullen, Jr. makes an appearance.  It was actually Mullen’s idea to start the band that would eventually become U2.

1:53 — However, Mullen has obviously been overshadowed by Bono.

2:11 — Oh no, they killed the Edge!

2:13 — Hello?

2:15 — Is anyone there?

2:20 — With the Edge apparently dead, now seems like a good time to tell you that Numb was the first single released off of U2’s 1993 album Zooropa, which many consider to be the moment that U2 went from being an energetic group of rockers to the most pretentious band on the planet.  Numb, like the rest of the album, is about sensory overload.

2:23 — Numb was originally recorded for Achtung Baby and was called Down All The Days.  No one in the band liked the song but they still reworked it for Zooropa.

2:27 — Edge, can you hear me?

2:33 — Larry Mullen, Jr. is the new Edge.

2:41 — Adam considers tying Larry up but realizes that he wasted all of his rope on The Edge.

3:00 — The Edge lives!

3:18 — But with those feet in his face, The Edge might wish that he was dead.

3:36 — The Edge catches the bouquet.

3:51 — That is Morleigh Steinberg dancing in front of the Edge.  Nine years after the release of this video, the Edge and Steinberg got married.

4:12 — Just the fact that the fans are using cameras instead of phones proves this video was made in the early 90s.

4:17 — “Excuse me, Mr. Edge, but we have a wedding party coming in so if you and your friends could please vacate the room…”

4:25 — The Edge ain’t going nowhere.

Numb was originally release as a video single, so if you wanted to listen to it outside of Zoorupa, you had to buy it on VHS.  Also included on the tape was a video for Love is Blindness.

Music Video of the Day: Outside by Aaron Lewis featuring Fred Durst (2000, directed by ????)


Today’s music video of the day comes from the era when it was believed that all good music had to be depressing as hell.  I can still remember those days back in 2000, driving around Baltimore with my friends.  Whenever this song came on the radio, everyone would fall silent and listen to every single lyric.  They were deep, man.  And we were deep because we could appreciate them.

The majority of this video was filmed in Biloxi, Mississippi during the 1999 Family Values Tour.  When Staind’s Aaron Lewis took the stage to perform a solo, he decided to play a song that he was still in the process of writing.  That song was Outside and Lewis finished the lyrics while performing them.

So, what is Fred Durst doing there?  It’s easy to forget what a big deal Durst and Limp Bizkit were back in the day.  In 1999, along with helping to destroy Woodstock ’99, Limp Bizkit headlined the Family Values tour.  When Outside first started to get radio airplay, it was often promoted as being a Fred Durst song, despite the fact that Durst contributed little beyond “This is the real motherfucking deal, y’all,” and “I’m feeling those lighters.”  As easy as it is to disparage Durst’s contributions, his presence in the video undoubtedly helped it to achieve frequent play on MTV2.

A studio version of Outside was later included on Staind’s second album, Break the Cycle.

Weekly Trailer Round-Up: Glass, Aquaman, Shazam, Godzilla: King of the Monsters, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Gridenwald, Patient Zero, I Still See You, Second Act, On The Basis of Sex, The Walking Dead


First, in 2000, there was Unbreakable.  Then, 16 years later, there was Split.  This January, M. Night Shyamalan brings us the third part of his Eastrail 177 trilogy, Glass.  The first trailer for Glass was dropped at SDCC this weekend and it leads off this week’s trailer round-up.

Also dropping at SDCC was the first trailer for Aquaman.  The DC hero that everyone loves to ridicule is finally get a movie of his very own.  The trailer hints at the origins of Arthur Curry, features the expected underwater action, and features enough ironic line readings that it could almost pass for the latest entry in the MCU.

If Glass and Aquaman are not heroic enough for you, there is always Shazam.  Back in the 1940s, Shazam was known as Captain Marvel and his adventures were published by Fawcett.  Claiming that Captain Marvel was clear rip-off of Superman, DC attempted to sue Fawcett out of business and then purchased the character, renaming him Shazam.  Now, Shazam is coming to theaters.  Shazam’s appeal has always been retro so, naturally, the trailer is full of references to Game of Thrones and self-reflexive humor.

Following the 2014 Godzilla reboot and Kong: Skull Island, Godzilla: King of the Monsters is the third chapter in Legendary’s Monsterverse.  This one will see Godzilla meeting Mothra, Rodan, and King Ghidorah.  Godzilla: King of the Monsters will be released on May 31st, 2019.

Also released at SDCC was the latest trailer for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Gridenwald.  Fantastic Beasts will be released on November 16th.

In Patient Zero, Matt Smith and Natalie Dormer try to find a cure for a virus that is transforming humanity into zombies.  The film is scheduled to be released through video-on-demand on 14 August 2018, before a limited theatrical release on 14 September 2018.

I Still See You is the latest B-movie to feature Bella Thorne getting stalked.  Will you see I Still See You when it’s released on October 12th?

In the upcoming comedy, Second Act, Jennifer Lopez plays an ambitious woman who is mistaken for a high-level business consultant.  With a plot like that, Second Act sounds like it could be the funniest film of 2004.  Second Act will be released on November 21st, 2018.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg has already been the subject of one of the year’s most successful documentaries.  She gets the biopic treatment with On The Basis of Sex.  Felicity Jones plays Ginsburg while Mimi Leder returns from her cinematic exile to handle directing duties.  On The Basis of Sex will be released on December 25th.

Finally, the trailer for the 9th season of The Walking Dead dropped at SDCC and promised a new world with new rules.  Season 9 premieres on October 7th.

 

Music Video of the Day: Don’t Mean Nothin’ by Richard Marx (1988, directed by Dominic Sena)


Today’s music video of the day is Richard Marx’s Don’t Mean Nothin’.  This video was directed by Dominic Sena, who later directed films like Kalifornia, Gone in 60 Seconds, and Swordfish.  Let’s break it down and see if this video really don’t mean nothin’.

0:03 — I’m not sure but I think we may be in Hollywood.

0:04 — These scenes of Los Angeles street life will be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a movie about a small town girl moving to the big city to pursue her dreams.

0:18 — Welcome to Shangri-La!

0:26 — Cynthia Rhodes plays the small town girl.  You may recognize her from Flashdance, Staying Alive, and Dirty Dancing.  At the time this video was shot, she was dating Richard Marx.  She would marry him a year later.  They divorced in 2014.

0:38 — The sleazy apartment manager is played by the one and only G.W. Bailey.  Bailey has been in a ton of television shows and movies.  If you don’t know him from M*A*S*H, you probably know him from the Police Academy films.

0:48 — Cynthia knows what ol’ G.W. was doing back there.

0:55 — Richard Marx’s father was in advertising and Richard Marx started his singing career when he was five years old and he performed a jingle that his father had written.  When Marx was 17, he moved to Los Angeles.  This song was based on his experiences.

1:14 — Cynthia’s barely been in Hollywood for a week and she’s already got an audition!  That’s better that most small town girls do in the big city.

1:38 — Another great moment from G.W. Bailey.

1:53 — Cynthia is shocked! to discover what goes on in Hollywood.

2:09 — Richard says, “Drink up and enjoy the show!”  Cynthia is not amused.

2:24 — More Hollywood stock footage.

2:44 — That’s Joe Walsh of the Eagles on guitar.

2:59 — Proof that this video was made in 1988: Richard hands over a cassette of his music.

3:24 — Disgusted to see that Cynthia’s become either a maid or a waitress, Richard stops the music and throws away his future.

3:27 — There’s a lot of hockey hair in this video.

3:38 — Ol’ G.W.’s in trouble now.

3:42 — Are they taking pictures of G.W. getting beaten up?  Or does G.W. own a strobe light?

4:08 — Cynthia finally feels comfortable enough to wear an ugly sweater in L.A. and Richard has switched to decaf.

4:20 — A new small town girl arrives.  Cynthia tells her where she can find Ol’ G.W.

4:24 — Cynthia and Richard shares a smile and a private laugh as the new girl naively plunges into the moral abyss that is Hollywood.

4:32 — Don’t worry.  It don’t mean nothin’ at all.

Weekly Trailer Round-Up: Mary Queen of Scots, Colette, The Miseducation of Cameron Post, The Favourite, Goosebumps 2, A Simple Favor, The Extinction, The Package, Life Itself, Along Came The Devil, Little Italy, Unfriended: Dark Web, Wonder Park, Castle Rock


It’s time for the weekly trailer round-up!  We’ve got fourteen today so let’s get down to business:

First off, we have the trailer for one of the most anticipated films of the year: Mary, Queen of Scots.  This movie brings together two of last year’s nominees for best actress, with Saoirse Ronan playing the title character and Margot Robbie playing Queen Elizabeth I.  It is set to be released in December for Oscar consideration.

Also getting early Oscar buzz is Keira Knightley for her performance in Colette.  Colette premiered at the Sundance Film Festival this year and will be released on September 21st.

Another film that generated buzz at Sundance was The Miseducation of Cameron Post, which stars Chloe Grace Moretz as a teenage girl forced into gay conversation therapy.  The Miseducation of Cameron Post will be released into theaters on August 3rd.

Following the arthouse success of The Lobster, Yorgos Lanthimos returns with The Favourite.  Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone play cousins who compete to be the favorite of Queen Anne.  The Favourite will be released on November 23rd.

The books and the monsters are back but Jack Black is nowhere to be seen in the trailer for Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween.  This film will be released on October 12th.

When Blake Lively disappears, her new best friend, Anna Kendrick, teams up with Lively’s husband to find her.  Directed by Paul Feig of Ghostbusters and Bridesmaids fame, A Simple Favor will be released on September 14th.

Everyone’s favorite sidekick, Michael Pena, finally gets the leading role in The Extinction, a sci-fi thriller that will be premiering on Netflix on July 27th.

Also coming to Netflix is The Package, a teen comedy from the creators of Workaholics.  The Package will be delivered on August 10th.

The second film to be directed by This Is Us creator Dan Fogelman, Life Itself will be released on September 21st.

According to this trailer, Along Came The Devil is “an exorcism film for a new generation.”  This film will be released on August 10th.

Have you ever wondered what happened to Danny Aiello?  He’s in Little Italy, with Emma Roberts and Hayden Christensen.  Little Italy will be released in August.

The internet is still the most dangerous place on Earth in the second trailer for Unfriended: Dark Web.  See for yourself on July 20th.

After a long and troubled production that saw original director Dylan Brown fired for “inappropriate conduct,” the animated film Wonder Park will finally be released on March 15th, 2019.

Finally, here is the long-awaited official trailer for Castle Rock, the new Hulu series from J.J. Abrams and Stephen King.  Castle Rock premieres on July 25th.

 

Return of the American Soldier: Americana (1983, directed by David Carradine)


The year is 1973.  The American Solider (played by David Carradine, who also directed) has just been discharged from Vietnam and is now hitchhiking across an America that he no longer understands.  When he reaches a small town in Kansas, he stumbles across a run-down carousel sitting in an overgrown field.  The Soldier decided to spend the night camping in the field and, the next morning, he sets out to rebuild the old merry-go-round.

No one in town can understand why the Soldier is doing what he is doing.  The local teenagers harass him while a silent and beautiful girl in a white dress (played by Carradine’s then-partner, Barbara Hershey) brings him a toolbox but runs away whenever the Soldier tries to speak with her.  Some of the older townspeople, led by gas station owner Mike (Michael Greene), help the Soldier by giving him odd jobs and deals on equipment and tools.   But, when the Soldier refuses to attend a weekly cockfight, both Mike and eventually the entire town turns against him.

Even with the community refusing to help, the Soldier continues his work.  Finally, the Soldier needs only one last piece to complete the restoration.  Mike agrees to give it to him on the condition that the Soldier first fight a dog.

Based on the 1948 novel, The Perfect Round, Americana was a passion project for both David Carradine and Barbara Hershey.   They first learned of the book and its story in 1969.  Four years later, using the money that he made starring in Kung Fu, Carradine purchased the rights to the novel and set out to the bring the story to the screen.  As producer, director, editor, and star, Carradine had complete artistic control over the project.  This was both a blessing and a curse because Carradine spent a total of 8 years editing his film.  It then took another two years for Americana to finally be picked up by a distributor, Crown International Pictures.  Ten years after filming began, Americana was finally released in 1983.  Carradine was shooting new scenes up until two weeks before the film’s release, which explains why the Soldier suddenly and dramatically ages an hour into the completed movie.

Americana may be strange but it’s not bad.  In some ways, it reminded me of what First Blood would have been like if, instead of going on a rampage, Rambo had taken the Sheriff’s advice and moved on to the next town.   It has its share of pretentious moments but the overall story, about a man who, having seen so much destruction in Vietnam, now just wants to build something good, shines through.  Even if her character never makes sense, Barbara Hershey is stunningly beautiful and Carradine is effectively low-key as the Soldier.  Even Americana‘s controversial ending works as a statement about sacrifice.  Much like the characters played by John Wayne in The Searchers and The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Soldier’s role is to defend and improve a society that has no place for him inside of it.

If Americana had been released in 1973, it probably would have been ahead of its time.  Few people wanted to talk about Vietnam, much less go to a movie that was a metaphor for the entire conflict.  When Americana was was released in 1983, people were more interested in refighting the war and achieving victory with Sylvester Stallone and Chuck Norris and had little interest in Carradine’s more thoughtful approach.  Americana got pushed into obscurity but David Carradine’s vision of post-war America is still worth watching.

Weekly Trailer Round-Up: El Angel, UFO, Breaking and Exiting, The School, Running For Grace, The Immortal, White Fang


Here are some of the trailers that dropped last week.

First up, we have El Angel.  This fact-based Argentine film is about Carlos Robledo Puch, a youthful criminal whose crime spree both stunned Argentina and turned him into a celebrity in 1971.  El Angel premiered at this year’s Cannes Film Festival and does not yet have an American release date.

Gilliam Anderson may be leaving The X-Files but, judging from this trailer for UFO, she’s not leaving the world of extraterrestrial conspiracy theories.  UFO was filmed in Cincinnati last December and is scheduled to be released sometime this year.

Breaking and Exiting is a comedy about a thief (Milo Gibson) who breaks into the home of a suicidal woman (Jordan Hinson) and who, according to the film’s imdb page, “decides to save her from herself.  Breaking and Exiting will be released on August 17th.

Am I the only one who can’t watch the trailer for The School without thinking of Silent Hill?  The School will be released, in Australia, on July 27th.

Co-starring Ryan Potter, Matt Dillon, and Jim Caviezel, Running For Grace is set in Hawaii in the 1920s and is about a forbidden love affair between a mixed race orphan and the daughter of a plantation owner.  Running For Grace will be released on August 1st.

As far as what’s happening in this trailer for The Immortal, your guess is as good as mine.  This is a Vietnamese film that does not appear to have a release date yet,

Finally, we have the latest version of Jack London’s classic novel, White Fang.  This animated adaptation is now streaming on Netflix.

The Conquering Hero: Baby Blue Marine (1976, directed by John D. Hancock)


The year is 1943 and America is at war.  All young men are expected to join the Marines and fight for their country but the Corps is not willing to accept just anyone.  Marion (Jan-Michael Vincent) wants to continue a family tradition of service but, as his drill sergeant (Michael Conrad) puts it, Marion just is not pissed off enough to be a Marine.  Marion is kicked out basic training and told to go home.  He is given a blue uniform to wear on his jury so that anyone who sees him will know that he couldn’t cut it.

Ashamed of his failure and in no hurry to confront his family, Marion takes the long route home.   While having a drink in California, he meets a Marine (Richard Gere) who did not get kicked out of basic training.  Though not yet 30, this shell-shocked Marine already has a head of gray hair, which he says he got from the horrors of war.  The Marine is due to return to the fighting in Europe but, upon meeting Marion, he sees a way out. When Marion gets drunk, the Marine knocks him out, switches uniforms with him, and goes AWOL.

When Marion comes to, he discovers that everyone that he meets now judges him by his new uniform.  Strangers buy him drinks.  Other servicemen try to pick fights with him.  When he stops off in a small Colorado town, a local waitress (Glynnis O’Connor) falls in love with him and nearly everyone that he meets assumes that he must be a hero.  Marion doesn’t exactly lie about his past.  Instead, he simply allows people to believe whatever they want to believe about him.  It seems like an idyllic situation until three prisoners from a nearby Japanese internment camp escape and the towns people expect Marion to help capture them.

Loosely plotted and sentimental, Baby Blue Marine is a dramatic version of Preston Sturges’s Hail The Conquering Hero.  Though the film has a gentle anti-war message, it’s actually more about nostalgia for a simpler and more innocent time.  If the film had been made at height of the Vietnam War, it might have been more angrier and more cynical.  But, instead, this is one of the many post-Watergate films that wistfully looked back upon the past.  When Marion settles into the town, he finds what appears to be a perfect and friendly home.  Only the nearby internment camp and the town’s hysteria over the escape prisoners serve as reminders that things are never as ideal as they seem.  Jan-Michael Vincent gives one of his best performances as the well-meaning Marion and actors like Richard Gere, Bert Remsen, Katherine Helmond, Dana Elcar, Michael Conrad, Bruno Kirby, and Art Lund all make strong impressions in small roles.

One of the few films to be produced by television mogul Aaron Spelling, Baby Blue Marine is not easy to find but worth the search.