Hello Gentle Readers! I’ve been MIA getting ready for the holiday spirit with Dental Surgical Planning! Before I’m sailing away on Vicodin, I’m giving you another genius review!!!
We begin with Ozzie doing a victory lap for exposing Jonathan. However, Ozzie gets some retribution when he’s asked whether he believes about Aliens and almost immediately caves. He has an opportunity to work on the New York Times, but the recruiter is embarrassed by his belief in aliens and splits.
Jonathan is at a hotel room with Nancy. He’s counting his millions in cash. Nancy attacks Jonathan. It turns out that she is a robot and has been taken over by Scroty. DUN DUN DUN. She tears Jonathan’s human suit, deprives him of his golden parachute, and pretty much bones him. Jonathan escapes penniless. *sniff* Scroty plans to use Nancy for his purposes and infiltrate Starcrossed.
Ozzie returns to Starcrossed a hero! The hippie lady brings the point home that his career is destroyed.
Father Doug takes out the trash and is abducted by …. aliens? Maybe?
Gerry is a bit of mess and is dumped by Joy. Sad.
Gina chastens Ozzie for revealing his alien beliefs on a podcast and not with the group. Nancy arrives at Starcrossed and begins to open up to the group and begins to come to terms with Kurt’s death. Richard is really attracted to Nancy and it’s funny.
Father Doug turns to the Starcrossed for help, but it is clear that he was just kidnapped. He goes to the police and Starcrossed. Jon H Benjamin explains that he might have to contact the Archdiocese. Father Doug caves and kicks out Starcrossed. Sad.
The New York Times recruiter convinces Ozzie to go back to New York and walk back his story.
Richard tries to mack on Nancy and gives away that Gina drives the car that killed Kurt.
I’m going to try for one more post before I leave for dental surgery.
It’s that time of year where I share with my loyal readers a hidden treasure! For years, we were kept in the dark of parallel dimension! A Better World! A Brighter World! A world where Mr. Potter prevailed against the forces of evil that sought to undermine good itself! After Good prevailed, David Brinkley interviewed the Great Mr. Potter!!
The following is a re-broadcast of the 1955 interview with David Brinkley and Mayor Potter of the eponymous Pottersville.
David Brinkley: Ladies and Gentlemen this is a portrait of a town that came back. The best example of which is the bustling Boffo town of Pottersville. I am interviewing the man who brought this town back after a factory closing and 1920s financial collapse: Mr… I mean Mayor Potter.
Mayor Potter: Thank you, David.
David Brinkley: Mr. Mayor, your town is synonymous with nightlife and culture. Now, it is hosting it’s fourth International Film Festival. It seems to stand out among so many New York factory towns. What happened?
Mayor Potter: HRHHPFM! It was a near run thing.
David: How so?
Mayor Potter: We had this flirtation with communism in the 19 teens and 20s.
David: *Gasps*
Mayor Potter: It’s true. We had this Bolshevik style building and loan.
David: A building and what?
Mayor Potter: It was a bank … of sorts. This guy “Pa” Bailey *Uses air quotes with an eye-roll* would talk rubes into giving him money to build people homes who were too broke to pay their mortgages.
David: Come again?
Mayor Potter: Get this, when you wanted to make a withdrawal you’d either have to wait 60 days or some jackass would use his personal savings to “loan” you money.
David: *Eyes Widen*
Mayor Potter: Oh yeah Dave, This commie bank was always screwing with people’s money. The owner hired his brother Billy – he was this unreformed drunkard and he had a menagerie of unvaccinated feral animals in his office. And, when this Building and Loan would really squander their funds and bills would come due, Billy would knock on people’s doors holding a wicker basket begging for donations all over town.
David: Wicker? What kinds of animals? What?!
Mayor Potter: UGGHH, Bailey had everything in there… crows, squirrels, probably had a damn bobcat for all we knew. Bailey’s in a mental ward now. But, he wasn’t even the worst…
David: Come on..
Mayor Potter: Try getting a prescription filled back in those days. We had a homicidal druggist poisoning people … Bowser or something or other. He got locked up and’s he’s dead now …. good riddance.
David: Weren’t there two Bailey sons?
Mayor Potter: The younger Brother was a war hero and now works for DuPont and designed some weed killer Agent Purple or something.
David: Not to turn this into a History of the Baileys.
Mayor Potter: No big deal. George went off to college and married a local girl…Mary. He designs pipelines in Venezuela for Shell Oil. He calls me every now and again. He just got back from Europe with Mary- He goes at least once a year. Could you imagine if George had tried to keep his Dad’s commie bank going? He would’ve wished he’d never been born!
David: Back to the town, what changed?
Mayor Potter: Well, Pa Bailey died and then the Crash.
David: How did your recover from the crash?
Mayor Potter: Recover?! The Crash helped us! I bought up the failing businesses and turned this town around. We needed new revenue from new sources.
David: About that, after the war, Pottersville was criticized for what some called a seamy downtown.
Mayor Potter: *Shrugs* You’re a veteran. After the war, people wanted to blow off some steam and that means dancing, music, and booze. Our downtown is different now. Even then, it was still better than the boring Bedford Falls anytown USA….Bleh! We’re the only Right To Work county in New York! What did that bring? Headquarters and more business than Buffalo or Detroit combined! We have 12 museums, 200 restaurants, a financial center, a subway, and a Theater district second only to New York City! Besides, nightlife and culture is what brings people to cities. “Honey, let’s splurge and visit Des Moines… Said no one ever!”
David: You have a point. This is truly a magnificent achievement.
People of Earth is usually 80/20- Comedy/Drama; however, this particular episode was full-on tug at your heartstrings 80/20 Drama/Comedy. If not done well, this switch can undermine or derail a show, but Norm Hiscock (writer) really delivered something unique and tenderhearted. In fact, I’ve been thinking about his episode for most of the time since I watched it. You begin thinking that the story will be all about Jerry saying goodbye; instead, Norm gives us an episode about love, family, and basic human… even tribal bonds.
When I first learned screenwriting, my teacher made me make list all of the things that would worry a caveman.
I responded: finding a mate, a bad king, predators, and natural disasters.
He responded: SEE!
Then, he wrote on the board “When Harry Met Sally”, “Nixon”, “Predator”, and “Day After Tomorrow”. “We are moved by movies because they tap into our genetic fears and desires.”
This episode did that for me.
We open with Gerry telling Ozzie about a clear pattern of abductions that all occur at a specific area and he wants to be the next in the line. This abduction will be permanent because no one ever returned when they were taken at this time. Gerry states that he has quit his job and Ozzie shows concern for this, but Gerry is determined to be a full-fledged Starcrossed member, even though it means never returning to Earth.
Gerry cleans himself up and does A LOT of grooming, including an abundance of nail clipping. Then, he packs a Go Bag and with his “Family Photo”- it’s a selfie-stick shot of him with the Starcrossed group. This shows a clear, visual example of familial/tribal love.
Gerry’s determined to tell Yvonne his feelings, but chickens out. This is the emotional and physical love.
Coffeehouse: Kelly visits LOTR-Guy at his coffeehouse. Kelly tries to apologize and LOTR-Guy shuts her down with an apology on behalf of all men because he was a nosy-pants and male privilege something. Kelly is now all over LOTR-Guy like a Today’s Man Suit.
Ozzie follows up on a lead about Senator Pelosi’s connection to Glint and how Jonathan suppressed stories at Glint. My favorite: This Privileged American Life – Ira Glass. If you’ve never heard This American Life, you should, BUT be prepared to become depressed. “However, this shouldn’t matter because happiness is a lie we tell ourselves so we can wake up everyday.” Just kidding, Ira never said this because he’s much more upbeat than I am.
Nancy overhears that Ozzie is getting close to uncovering the conspiracy. Jonathan is ordered to get a donut.. again. Jonathan tries to stall and arranges a lunch with Ozzie.
Gerry says goodbye to Richard and gives him all of his alien research.
The Lunch: Jonathan tries to bully Ozzie using the carrot and stick technique formerly used by Henry Kissinger. The Stick: Jonathan threatens to expose/discredit Ozzie for being a member of “Space Losers”. The Carrot: “Brews Skettah”. It fails. Jonathan shall eat his “Brews Skettah” all alone. Michael Cassidy has some real drama chops. He should consider some drama or Jason Bourne-ish action movie stuff. What was great about this scene is that when Jonathan is saying “After all that I’ve done for you” He means it literally because he helped raise and protect Ozzie since he was a child, explaining why Jonathan has empathy unlike his purely Reptilian counterpart Nancy. This hammers home the fatherly love that Jonathan has for Ozzie and this was shown in previous episodes wherein he gives Ozzie veggie drinks and mentoring.
Gerry goes to Yvonne’s house and he nearly chickens out, but Yvonne helps him along and they make sweet love. However, he still wants to try to get abducted and say goodbye for good.
The Date: LOTR-Guy is REALLY in touch with his feelings. They try to dance and it’s awesome. It reminded me so much of the dancing I saw at clubs in Europe … like seizures. Kelly shows a protective and physical love for LOTR-Guy by trying to get him to assert himself in many different ways. At one point, a waiter spills a drink on him and he goes beyond Canadian levels of politeness, saying that “I was sitting way too close to the spill.” She pushes him to insist on getting the drinks for free and owning it! Boom! It’s awesome.
The Donut: The Alien Overlord orders Jonathan to pick a weapon to use to kill Ozzie. Jonathan doesn’t want to and he remembers being on the Ship with Young Ozzie. He comforts Ozzie when he’s scared and promises him that he won’t hurt him. Michael really delivers this scene well. He knows how to play the silence without dragging it. Good beat. Jonathan chooses the gun and it’s hard to watch.
Jonathan goes to Ozzie’s hovel. I won’t lie – I gasped a little, when he reached in his coat pocket and was relieved when he pulled out a jumpdrive. Jonathan gives Ozzie the proof he needs confessing how he suppressed stories. This is an obvious act of fatherly love and has improved Ozzie’s life. Jonathan, like all good Dads, with his mission of pushing his son forward complete, takes a step back and sets him free to succeed or fail without him.
Yvonne and Gerry are in bed and she gives him a lift to the abduction location, even though this may be their last time together; it’s very sweet. H. Jon Benjamin provides some comic relief along the way.
Kelly forces LOTR-Guy to be empowered and self-confidant. There’s just love burgeoning everywhere in this episode.
Donut Part 2: The Overlord is furious and wants to kill Jonathan and Ozzie. Jonathan thwarts this by revealing that there is a code he needs to enter every 12 hours or their lizard plan will be published worldwide. Jonathan flashes to when he and Young Ozzie were on the ship and Ozzie made him a drawing of them holding hands like father and son. He puts on a brave front, but leaves the meeting with some fear and pain on his face because he has left his family to save his adoptive son Ozzie, but in doing so, he will be forever alone.
Gerry gets to the abduction site…..and they never come.
Once again, the near credits delivers an amazing song that presented what could’ve worked as the scenes for the series finale. Not a bad song, not Kmala my Friend or the Ship song from earlier episodes, but a solid – not bad.
We see Ozzie’s article with a big picture of Jonathan as a story suppressor, ruining him forever. Jonathan packs up his things from his office and says goodbye to his moving desk.
The group stares at Gerry’s empty chair and is relieved when he returns, completing their tribe. They console him for not getting abducted, but he states sheepishly and in love, “It wasn’t all bad.” *sniff*
LOTR-Guy returns to the ship all swagger. It’s pretty badass. Scroty shows him respect for the first time and informs him that the Main Ship is coming. We also learn that Gerry would’ve been abducted if LOTR-Guy had been at his post.
We open with Scroty at the computer again. He’s alone on the lived in and dingy spacecraft. He’s doing the work of three because Kurt is dead and LOTR-Guy is making coffee and trying to make time with Kelly.
Father Doug is taking confession and they are hilarious, including one man who confesses to masturbating twenty-two times. His response: You know that’s too much. This made it awesome because it established an acceptable range. However, he certainly is risking carpal tunnel. Father Doug reminisces about his time as a hip NYC musician.
The Spaceship- Scroty is struggling to replace a printer cartridge and the printer is hysterically outdated.
Gina is planning a take your significant other to your abduction support group day.
Ozzie, still struggling with his abductee status, opts to play hooky and heads to a bar. Father Doug is there getting slowly loaded after a long day of hearing people confess to self-abuse. The two of them begin to do shots and Father Doug is amazingly disappointed that people have a lack of interest in soccer. We have the Sounders here in Seattle and I have to write that I was truly amazed that we had a soccer team and that people went to see them … on purpose. I was even more stunned to discover that the tickets weren’t free. It’s not like they were handing the tickets out in a mall …gratis. These people knew ahead of time that the tickets would cost money….currency! I’m serious…people paid to see them….Americans…really….in my very city! Sad. Soccer is the Prius of sports.
Father Doug and Ozzie proceed to groove to “Word Up”! It’s kind of awesome.
The Significant Other get together is a disaster! Ernie’s son is like you’re gay and abducted by aliens?! Can’t you pick one?! Joy’s sister just starts laughing at her. Kelly and Chelsea fight about their affair with LOTR-Guy and his “Big Alien Dick”. Chelsea’s husband arrives and she has to leave. Bummer.
Father Doug admits to Ozzie that he’s in love with Chelsea. Ozzie wants to disclose to his mother that he is an abductee, but Father Doug tries to thwart Ozzie from telling his mom that he’s an abductee because it will forever define him.
During an active hangover, Ozzie gets a call from a friend who has information on Jonathan.
All of the Starcrossers go the bar together and bond.
Wait for it….Scroty gets a call from the Mothership.
Also, another great song is in the near credits:
Remember, as always, if you don’t watch People of Earth, all of the unicorns will die!
This episode is all about do it yourself IT. For MAC readers, IT means information technology and there are people who are highly paid to resolve problems with Windows because it sucks. Now, Windows charges you a subscription fee!!!! Fuckers!
LOTR-Guy is cataloging his experiences meeting with humans. Humans, being solipsistic pieces of shit, only want to have him participate in things that they like. However, one human was different: Kelly! She wanted to know what LOTR-Guy was into and this reminiscence causes LOTR-Guy to get all moony over her.
We learn that Ozzie has a chip implant, which if properly rebooted will wipe his pesky flashbacks. Scroty takes it upon himself to fix the chip and wipe Ozzie’s memory, but this being People of Earth, he’s aggressively incompetent. Scroty is short with LOTR-Guy saying that he should look for Kurt’s killer and so LOTR-Guy goes to earth. Meanwhile, Scroty continues to blunder through the computer that’s linked to Ozzie’s brain, causing terrible hallucinations for Ozzie.
At the church, Chelsea builds a deeper relationship with Father Doug. He suggests that she goes to a bible study class and she declares it a date. The bible study is for children and it’s an awesome disaster!
LOTR-Guy is walking around town and sees Kelly hanging in a coffee shop. He thinks, Kelly likes coffee, I like Kelly, I will work at that coffee shop, and I will be around Kelly. You just gotta love these dopey aliens.
At Starcrossed, Kelly laments that her boyfriend says – Oregon like OR A GONE. This is a real dealbreaker for Pacific Northwesterners. It’s Or uh gun. The other big NO NO for PNWs is to bitch about the rain. Rain is our jam! In fact, it’s the first thing you think of when you think of the PNW. Richard hilariously says, We don’t say – A LAB BUH MA. Ozzie’s hallucinations and brain functions worsen and he sees all of the group is dressed like him complete with beards!
Ozzie goes to the hospital and they xray his head and see a metal disc and they seek to remove it. All the while, Scroty is coming closer to wiping Ozzie’s memory. Just as he’s about to finish wiping, they remove the disc.
LOTR-Guy is spying on Kelly and she breaks up with Mr. OR A GONE. LOTR-GUY brings Kelly a sympathy coffee and she gives him the finger for eavesdropping and he innocently gives it back to her.
Father Doug patches things up with Chelsea, describing Mary as being brave and woman of faith for holding to her beliefs even though people were incredulous that she was a virgin mother.
Scroty turns to Jon because the chip is in human hands and it’s hilarious! Jon sends Reptile-Lady to retrieve the chip. A child ends up taking the chip and gets away.
Starcrossed- Ozzie is not entirely convinced that it was aliens who put a chip in his head, but oh well.
We see the child playing with the chip and he shines a light through it and we see a deer head!
This was another great episode. The only critique is that the closing song was just not great or even good.
You must believe the hype! You have to watch People of Earth or ALL of Santa’s Reindeer will become a delicious sausage! You were warned! There’s even a awesomeballs 8-Bit Video Game!
We learn about Gina in this episode and it is awesome! This episode is especially well-crafted by Emily Heller.
Gina is being examined by Scroty and LOTR-Guy with “Do it to me one more time” in the BG. Scroty leans in and says, “You are special.” Gina responds- BULLSHIT!!!
We smash cut to Crate & Barrelish, where Gina is zoned out in her flashback because her abduction theme song is playing, which triggered her flashback. I have flashbacks from the Army every now and again and Emily Heller is not that far off. Anything can trigger them.
Ozzie is trying yoga to relax, but it fails. He pays rent and goes to work and has an ancient computer. He has an equally ancient co-worker who asks him if he misses his old job, which triggers a flashback. This is an especially cool flashback because it show Jon’s fatherly love for Ozzie as he tries to literally make him eat his vegetables in blended form. AWWWW.
Jonathan is ordered to have a donut, which is Alien for calling him out onto the carpet for a reaming by a supervisor Reptilian. What is truly awesome about the supervisor’s office is that it, like the Alien’s mission, is ramshackle! The aliens, like us, are mediocre. Supervisor insists that if he doesn’t put a stop to Ozzie’s abduction exploration; they will “handle” it. All the alien’s speak in corporate-ease.
Ennis shows up at Crate and Barrelish for Gina’s help, triggering another flashback.
The Past: Gina was hot shot Upper West Side psychotherapist. Gina specializes into getting people to face their fear. Brian, a patient, is scared of heights and is a Fear of Commitment (FOC). Gina demands that he skydive with his girlfriend to save his relationship. She convinces Brian to jump. SMASH CUT: Brian’s funeral. This sends Gina into a spiraling downward booze-filled depression.
Jonathan goes to Ozzie’s workplace. He walks with him and explains that he will buy the local paper. They run into Richard and Gerry. Gerry misjudges Jonathan as a human. Jonathan knows all about Richard’s business, which is a great callback to the earlier comment to the Pilot where Richard says that his bosses were reptilians! I told you that you needed to take adderall to catch all the jokes and references! YOU WERE WARNED!
Flashback: Gina’s depression continues. She shuts down her practice and moves to Beacon. Then, she gets abducted and has such low-self esteem that her reaction to being told that she is special is to respond with… BULLSHIT! Survivor’s remorse….IT IS A BITCH!
Gina’s abduction experience snaps her depression and gets her into helping others who have suffered the same fate by starting Starcrossed.
Jonathan buys the paper and upgrades it, thinking that his presence will drive Ozzie out of town. It doesn’t. Instead of driving Ozzie away, it triggers another memory of Jonathan putting on his human face. So, Jonathan is Ozzie’s …Dad, maybe?
Ozzie returns to Starcrossed and engages with the group as part of their tribe. *sniff*
Ozzie decides to investigate Jonathan to prove that Aliens are among us and, in some cases, employ us.
Almost forgot, the credits have another amazing song!!!
Once again, gentle-readers, if you like my reviews, tell my boss Lisa Marie Bowman! This show delivers every week. It is the funniest and most immersive show on television. Period. No Shit, Legit!
It has finally happened: Channel Zero is over (for now)!
Mike is laying in bed with Eddie- the evil one – and Eddie is …. reading a book about Long John Silver?! Whatever! Then, Eddie shoves a tooth hand into his mouth, symbolizing possession or some really sloppy dentistry work.
Mike wakes and asks his mom, in a clunky way, to kill him when he’s possessed.
Amy and Gary are looking for Tooth Teacher and they see her… and stabby kids. Gary sees his kids and convinces them not to kill anyone. We have to assume that because the children to not respond to him, stare dumbly, and don’t stab him. This show is really going out with a whimper.
Amy finds the evil Winnebago AND…Nothing happens.
Mike decides to meet Eddie because he wants his daughter back and to discuss why Long John Silver got into franchise restaurants.
Mike passes out next to his daughter.
Mike goes into Eddie’s evil reality, which looks a lot like a poorly constructed middle-school drama set. Mike sees a monster we learn is called “Skin Taker”. Skin Taker smashes against the wall in a very A-Ha “Take on Me” way …for some reason. Eddie releases Lilly.
We also learn by a TON OF EXPOSITION: 1) Eddie is the tooth monster, 2)can’t appear in human form because he needs a body, 3)the skin taker is part of him … like they’re totally BFF and everything, 4)Eddie wants to kill children, 5) he wants to pose as Mike to kill children, 6) he uses a TV as a portal into the real world, and 7) he’s REALLY into decoupage! Just before Eddie is about to go on a rampage, he convinces his brother to play War to stall him.
Mike’s mom looks for Mike and runs into Tooth Teacher. They fight. Mike’s Mom wins with help from Amy (Amy shoots Tooth Teacher).
Mikes mom suffocates the passed out Mike, killing him. This prevents Eddie from entering our world. Mike now has to hang with his brother for eternity. Upside: everytime Eddie tries to restart the show’s signal, Mike turns it off. Way to go MIKE!
Challenges for mankind to endure: Chlamydia, Explosive Diarrhea, Channel Zero. I’m not writing that Channel Zero is identical to chlamydia; to get chlamydia, you needed to have fun at least once.
Open: Jessica is exsanguinating in a kiddie pool.
Marla’s House: Marla is being pretty nice to her son and granddaughter. Mike looks like Hell and he goes to the bathroom to see that there is a tooth growing out of his upper gums. The episode goes downhill from here, but stick with me and we can get through this together.
Mike’s Wife arrives and it’s very banal. It’s not like anything happened like his creepy brother Eddie Stabbypants was possessing Lilly! Then, Amy shows up and breaks the meh news that Jessica is stabbed to death.
The Station: Deputy orders an APB for Tooth Teacher, leaving her understaffed. However, Amy’s manpower issue creates a good contrived plot point. I can’t imagine why she did an APB; everyone in this town is pretty ok with stabbing and being stabbed. They should really include their stabbiness at the Chamber of Commerce Visitor’s Center.
Mike decides that he wants to go to Tooth Teacher’s house. Amy can’t spare any cops; so, the obvious choice is Gary who is grieving his wife’s murder and kidnapped Mike. Fine. They arrive and look around Tooth Teacher’s home and find some ersatz Candle Cove props. Tooth Teacher calls Mike and convinces him to see her alone at a random location. He goes because fine.
Dork Deputy is assigned to find Mike. Dork Deputy is able to find Mike easily somehow. When he finds Mike, he is talked into waiting alone for Mike because this would make sense someway. Shit, I forgot to take my stupid pills before watching this show. Quick, just hit me with a fucking hammer in the head. Don’t hold back. WHAM!!! AHHHHHHHH. Dork Deputy is promptly stabbed by Tooth Teacher who is dressed in an almost certainly Value Village/Goodwill purchased costume. For some reason, Mike takes a nap and a has dream sequence with him as a marionette. Really…I mean…Really, this scene was written and filmed … on purpose.
Tooth Teacher shows up at Mike’s house and INSISTS that he and his mom eat pie. He looks like shit. We learn that Eddie is very powerful and created Candle Cove. In the past, the Tooth Teacher was having a seizure and Eddie relieved Tooth Teacher of a seizure, making her a permanent disciple. As a good cult member, she let Eddie kill her only son because that’s what people do. Tooth Teach explains that Eddie is slowly possessing Mike now. All of this was over only ONE slice of pie. I think she should’ve thrown in some ice cream or fruit. It’s clear that the gross tooth is a possession tooth.
Mike’s response is to be aaaaaa dennnnnntist [sung] and pulls the Possession Tooth out.
A motel: Lilly is with her mom at a hotel and then ends up in the TV in Candle Cove somehow. Roll Credits.
This was pretty par for Channel Zero. They tried to build suspense and it was just boring.
CHANNEL ZERO: CANDLE COVE — “Guest of Honor” Episode 105 — Pictured: Jawbone — (Photo by: Allen Fraser/Syfy)
This is not typical for me: there is a show without fault. There have been two brilliant works to premiere in 2016! 2016 has gotten a lot of shit, but I can’t see how it’s that different from any other year. People died and we elected a rich racist old white guy as President -seems pretty par for the shitty course. Don’t get me wrong; I’m furious, but not surprised that people chose a POS last Tuesday. This is part of the reason why People of Earth is great; there’s a sense of universal mediocrity that we all deal with everywhere. The hero is in a haze of discontent and mediocrity even before the aliens get to him and the aliens are a mixture of petty and incompetent. The show posits a comfortable universal mediocrity. We aren’t unique with having annoying coworkers or a douchebag boss or shitty job- this is just life: UNIVERSAL… EVERYWHERE. As they told me in the Army: Embrace the Suck!
This episode deals with divorce. Divorce sucks. Imagine a break up, but it’s uncertain for the first time in your life what is yours and if you’ll ever be loved by another human being again for free, not that prostitutes don’t have feelings or negotiable rates… wait…. where was I? In this context, People of Earth explores the painfully banal human concept of divorce with the backdrop of the extraordinary story of slow-moving alien domination.
Open: Ozzie is having dreams about the Lizard alien who is almost certainly Jon teaching him how to use a toy train and he wakes in a cold sweat.
Current day: Jon gets the news from Archer’s VO Guy AVOG that Kurt is dead. Scroty prepares himself with an almost eye-roll for LOTR-Guy’s Hilarious 5 stages of grief in under 30 seconds. It’s awesome.
The Group: Richard reveals to the group that he was served divorce papers and ordered to mediation. He reminisces to an idyllic past and camping trip that was the site of their abduction. He’s convinced the divorce papers are in fact a lizard alien plot of some kind. Ozzie tries to bring Richard back to earth that these are in fact divorce papers, but he’s not ready. Gina demands that Ozzie partner with Richard and guide him through this ordeal.
B Story: Gerry is out of jail.
The Mothership: Scroty is suppressing his feelings, comparing Kurt’s not working to LOTR-Guy’s not working because they’re both….dead weight. WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA! Anywho, LOTR-Guy is trying to get Scroty to express his grief; it doesn’t work.
B Story: Gerry finds the Kurt-alien outline on the asphalt and Joy finds Gerry. They chat and discern that it was likely a lizard death because of the acid blood that damaged the asphalt AND that a city official must have covered it up! The more important part of the scene was the burgeoning love between Gerry and Joy, which is a perfect counterweight to the A-Story where two signatures clearly define love’s end.
A Story- Mediation: Richard goes on about Aliens and his soon to be ex loses it. He agrees to sign it, but uses a fake name.
Richard’s Ex pursues him to the meeting and we learn that their marriage sucked before, she remembers the abduction, and used to be a member of Starcrossed! WHAAAAAAA?!!! Richard leans on Ozzie and agrees to sign the papers. Once again, something has died, but a friendship is born.
The Mothership: LOTR-Guy gets Scroty to deal with his grief, but Scroty gets to the anger step …. and stays there. He scans Kurt’s lifeless mind and sees Gina’s bumper sticker and vows revenge.
Ozzie flashes back to his youth and his dad was JON!!! WHAAAAA?!
Once again- A badass song! Wall of Voodoo- Ring of Fire:
People of Earth once again delivers! Finding fault with People of Earth is like finding fault with making love, Italian food, or Al Green albums. Bruh. TOTES AWESOMEBALLS, Bruh!!! Let’s grab some ‘Za! I figure I need to use slang like that now that our country is going to be run by a Nuclear Armed Frat House. On fleek- Out; Sweet, Bruh- In.
NYC: Jon is phone stalking Ozzie to get him to return to Buzzfeedish. Bruh.
Gina and Gerry intervene on Ozzie and cajole him to get a sponsor for the Starcrossed Program. Bruh.
The meeting: Ozzie makes a list of names to rule out as his sponsor. As he is judging them, he notices that Chelsea’s recount of LOTR-Guy is remarkably similar to that of Kelly. They begin to discuss it and Gina tries to put a stop to it because this is her club and she makes the rules darn it! Kelly slut shames Chelsea and Richard steals the scene by misquoting Fleetwood Mac. To her chagrin, Father Doug needs to speak to her about their organization. They separate, tell their stories, do sketches of LOTR-Guy and discover- IT WAS THE SAME ALIEN BRUH, BRUH. That’s enough. We learn that Chelsea has a terrible marriage.
Ozzie crosses everyone off his list accept Kelly who becomes his sponsor.
We also learn that LOTR-Guy’s incompetence is what caused Ozzie’s visions. It’s really really funny watching Scroty bust LOTR-Guy’s balls. See what I did there?!!!
Gerry returns to Starcrossed with Ozzie’s car and Archer’s Voice Guy tases him! AWESOME!!!
Jon busts Scroty and Kurt for doing a shitty job with Ozzie’s memory. The response: Kurt beams down to earth and is promptly runover by Gina who’s texting and driving. There’s a lesson here: Texting and Driving kills lizard people!
Archer’s Voice Guy shows up and cleans up Kurt’s acid-bleeding body.
We also get a great song once again- Khala My Friend!!!
Through the Shattered Lens 