Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.3 “To Your Health”

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, Ponch solves all the world’s problems. Thank God!

Episode 4.3 “To Your Health”

(Dir by Barry Crane, originally aired on October 5th, 1980)

A farmer (Paul Gale) just wants to deliver his crops to various health food stores across Los Angeles but someone keeps sabotaging his truck. Ponch wants to get laid so he pretends to like health food so he can get closer to the women who lives with the farmer. Meanwhile, a kid keeps causing accidents whenever he goes windskating. The kid’s father isn’t paying enough attention to him so Ponch gives both of them a stern talking to. Ponch also helps the farmer make his deliveries and he saves the life of two women after a massive highway pileup. Baker just stands around looking grim.

It’s the Ponch Show!

This episode was a bit of a mess but it was CHiPs in its most distilled form. What little story there was only existed as an excuse for multiple car crashes. Every time the kid went windskating, he caused an accident. THREE MASSIVE, MULTI-CAR ACCIDENTS, all caused by this kid. I’m talking accidents that involve cars flying through the air in slow motion. This kid is going to get people killed! And yet, he never really gets in trouble for it. He gets scolded. He gets dragged down to the police station. But he’s always set free and apparently, he and his father somehow manage to get through episode without getting sued.

Meanwhile, that farmer wrecked his truck three times! You would think that the farmer would get a new truck after a while. And again, every accident seemed to lead to a car flying in slow motion through the air. Amazingly, no one was ever seriously injured.

Baker was concerned about both the farmer and the windskating kid but, in the end, it was Ponch who solved all the problems. In the past, Baker was always the one who gave the kids a good talking to. But now, it’s Ponch who has all the wisdom. Sorry, Baker. You’ve been replaced by the blinding smile of Erik Estrada.

Really, what can we say about this episode? Thank God for Ponch, right? Los Angeles would be doomed without him.

Brad’s “Scene of the Day” – Lino Ventura and Charles Bronson in THE VALACHI PAPERS (1972)!

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Even though he was born in Italy on July 14th, 1919, Lino Ventura would become one of France’s most beloved character actors from the 1950’s through the 1980’s. In 1972, Ventura played Don Vito Genevese in THE VALACHI PAPERS, starring Charles Bronson. This film was released on the heels of the runaway success of THE GODFATHER (1972), and it would go on to make quite a bit of money itself. DEATH WISH (1974) is the only Bronson film that made more money at the U.S. box office in the 1970’s. I’ve always enjoyed that these two legendary actors were able to work with each other at least one time in their careers!

Happy 106th Birthday in cinematic heaven to the great Lino Ventura! Enjoy this fun scene from THE VALACHI PAPERS that begins with a cute domestic situation before ending with a vicious “hit.”

Gorky Park (1983, directed by Michael Apted)

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Jedadiah Leland

Earlier today, I saw that the writer Martin Cruz Smith has died. He was 82 years old and was best known for a series of detective novels about Arkady Renko, a Russian police detective. Starting with 1981’s Gorky Park, Smith’s novels not only dealt with Renko’s adventures but also provided a look at contemporary Russia, as it went from being controlled by the communists to being controlled by Putin. Renko was a cynical observer whose cases often exposed the corruption of the Russian elite, regardless of who was in charge.

The first of Smith’s Renko novels was turned into a movie in 1983. Gorky Park stars William Hurt as Renko. Renko investigates the discovery of three dead bodies at a ice skating rink in Moscow. One of the victims in an American whose brother (Brian Dennehy) is a tough New York cop who has come to Russia to investigate his disappearance. Renko’s investigation leads him to an American businessman (Lee Marvin) who is smuggling sables out of Russia and who is also a KGB asset. Joanna Pacula plays a woman whose hope to escape from Russia leads to her getting caught up in the murders and the subsequent investigation.

Gorky Park‘s mystery is easily solved. Just by casting Lee Marvin in the role, it is automatically clear who is responsible for the murders and it doesn’t take long for Renko to figure it out either. Instead, the movie is about how Renko’s investigation exposes the corruption of the Russian state, with the KGB first protecting Lee Marvin’s businessman when he’s considered to be an asset and then expecting Renko to assassinate him once it becomes obvious that his activities are becoming a liability. The subdued William Hurt and the brash Brian Dennehy make for an compelling investigative team while the underappreciated Joanna Pacula gives an outstanding performance as a woman who is so desperate to escape the oppression of the Soviet Union that she’ll risk everything. (Even though the murderer is an American businessman, the Soviet Union still banned Gorky Park as both a book and a film.) Gorky Park’s snowy cinematography and Michael Apted’s measured direction captures the chilly paranoia of Smith’s story and the bleak depiction of a society where national pride mixes with healthy a dose of fear.

Upon release, Gorky Park was a box office disappointment, which meant that there would be no further adventures of William Hurt’s Renko on the big screen. Martin Cruz Smith continued to write, ultimately publishing ten novels about his unconventional hero.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Sonny goes to Hollywood.

Episode 4.10 “A Rock and a Hard Place”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on January 22nd, 1988)

I guess I am going to have to accept that Miami Vice is no longer a show about two vice cops fighting a losing war against drug traffickers. Instead, it’s now a show about an undercover cop who is married to a world famous rock star, even though it makes absolutely no sense.

In this episode, a tabloid reporter goes to Miami to do some research on this Sonny “Burnett.” He hears a lot of stories about how Sonny Burnett is one of the city’s biggest drug dealers and he writes a story about it. Sonny is upset, though one would think this would actually help him maintain his cover story. Myself, I have to wonder how competent this reporter was. Sonny Crockett has been established as having been a semi-famous college football star (Tubbs recognized him as soon as he met him) but no one ever seems to notice that Sonny Cockett and Sonny Burnett look, sound, and act exactly alike. Considering the number of times that Crockett’s cover has gotten blown and that everyone who has ever done business with Sonny Burnett has ended up either getting arrested and gunned down by the police, you would think there would at least be some speculation about this guy being a cop.

(On a plus note, Don Henley’s Dirty Laundry played in the background while the reporter doing his thing. That’s a song you can’t help but chair dance to.)

The majority of this episode dealt with a corrupt record executive (Tony Hendra) who was looking to get out of paying Sonny’s wife, Caitlin, the money that she was owed for her new album. His solution was to have her assassinated and to make it look like she got caught in the crossfire of one of her husband’s drug deals. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Sonny gunned down the two assassins and then arrested the record executive. “You’re a cop!?” the bad guy said, stunned.

And again, I have to wonder how this is not going to blow Sonny’s cover. Is the press really not going to ask why Caitlin’s criminal husband just arrested the guy releasing her latest album?

This episode had all sorts of plot holes and it asked the audience to suspend their disbelief just a bit too far. But at least it didn’t features Crockett and Tubbs searching for a stolen shipment of bull semen. That’ll be next week’s episode!

(Seriously, I’m not kidding….)

I miss the old Miami Vice. Seriously, the city’s drug business is probably booming because Crockett and Tubbs are wasting their time with all of this season 4 nonsense.

Live Tweet Alert – #MondayMuggers present WILLY’S WONDERLAND (2021), starring Nicolas Cage!

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Bradley Crain

Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. We’re actually hitting a 3-year milestone with #MondayMuggers, which had its premiere on July 11th, 2022. Tonight, Monday, July 14th, we’re excited to present WILLY’S WONDERLAND (2021), starring Nicolas Cage, Emily Tosta, Beth Grant, and Ric Reitz.

The plot: A quiet drifter is tricked into a janitorial job at the now condemned Willy’s Wonderland. The mundane tasks suddenly become an all-out fight for survival against wave after wave of demonic animatronics. Fists fly, kicks land, titans clash — and only one side will make it out alive.

So, if you think you might enjoy watching Nicolas Cage take on “demonic animatronics,” then there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy this movie. Join us for the 3-year anniversary celebration of #MondayMuggers and watch WILLY’S WONDERLAND. It’s on Amazon Prime! I’ve included the trailer below:

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us for Battlefield Earth!

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2000’s Battlefield Earth.

If you want to join this watch party, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Battlefield Earth on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!

Enjoy!

Song of the Day: Everybody’s Talkin’, performed by Harry Dean Stanton, Johnny Depp, and Kris Kristofferson

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This was filmed in 2016. Not only do we have Harry Dean Stanton, Kris Kristofferson, and Johnny Depp but David Lynch puts in an appearance early on in the video as well.

Scenes I Love: Harry Dean Stanton in Paris, Texas

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 99th birthday of the great character actor, Harry Dean Stanton.

My scene that I love for the day comes from Wim Wenders’s Paris, Texas. This 1984 film gave Stanton a rare starring role as Travis, a man searching for Jane (Nastassja Kinski), the mother of his son. In this scene, physically separated and hidden from Jane by a one-way mirror, Travis talks about their relationship and their son.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Ingmar Bergman Edition

Posted on July 14, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.

One hundred and seven years ago today, Ingmar Bergman was born in Sweden. It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Ingmar Bergman Films