October Positivity: Last Flight Out (dir by Jerry Jameson)


The 2004 film, Last Flight Out, tells the story of Dan (Richard Tyson) and Anne (Bobbie Phillips).

Once upon a time, Dan and Anne were in love.  Perhaps they were attracted by the fact that their names rhymed.  “Dan and Anne” is just one of those phrases that just rolls off the tongue.  Unfortunately, it takes more than rhyming names to make a relationship work.  Dan was a cynic and Anne wanted to make the world a better place and, in the end, she decided she could do that better without him than with him.

Now, Anne is  missionary, working with Dr. Matteo Barrero (Adriano Gonzalez) at a village in a South American country that is, more or less, ruled by a drug cartel.  And Dan is a pilot, flying missions throughout the world and trying not to get emotionally connected with anyone.  Anne’s mentor, Tony Williams (Cliff de Young), approaches Dan with a job.  The village where Anne is working is currently under siege from a drug lord who demands that all the villagers come to work for him.  The payment that drug lord offers for their work is simple.  If they work for him, he will reward them by not killing them.  If they don’t work for him …. well, you get the idea.

Dan flies to the village, mostly to try to get Anne to safety.  But Anne explains that she won’t abandon the villagers to the drug lord.  Eventually, Anne is able to convince the village’s chief that the entire villages needs to be moved to safety.  That’ll mean putting all twenty of them on Dan’s plan and flying them away from the drug lord’s army.  Dan explains that, even if they take all the seats out of the plane, they’ll still be overweight and unable to take off.  Both Anne and Matteo tells Dan to have a little faith.

And, while the drug lord’s army fires at them from the ground, the plane does manage to take off!  But Matteo is left behind.  Back in civilization, everyone is convinced that Matteo is dead.  Dan, however, is determined to go back and, if possible rescue Matteo.  That, of course, will mean flying straight back into the gunfire and once again, risking his life for another person.  And, in this case, his name doesn’t even rhyme with Matteo’s!

Last Flight Out isn’t a bad little film.  Of course, those tempted to watch the film on Tubi should be aware that it is a faith-based production, so Matteo is very outspoken in his belief in God and the film does feature prayers while in flight.  Naturally, Dan is the atheist who changes his position after witnessing the bravery of the missionaries.  That said, the film is smart to emphasize action over preaching and Richard Tyson gives a likable performance as Dan.  In the end, one need not be filled with faith to know that slave labor is wrong.  Director Jerry Jameson, who directed a host of disaster films in the 70s and the 80s, keeps the action moving at a steady pace and, the end result, is a watchable action film.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 2.14 “Let’s Get Metaphysical”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard goes on a mission to save Marlene.

Episode 2.14 “Let’s Get Metaphysical”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on January 25th, 1987)

Marlene’s been showing up late for work!

Christian thinks that it’s a big deal that Marlene isn’t showing up for work.  I’ve never had a retail job or a job where I had a boss who required me to do things but I do have to say that I think Christian has a point.  Since it appears that Cobb’s only has seven employees and it appears to be a rather large store with several different departments, I imagine it is a bit difficult when one of them doesn’t show up.

(Actually, two of them.  For some reason, Edna is not in this episode.)

Howard, however, says it’s no big deal because Marlene is only late because she’s in love with a new guy and this guy apparently likes to stay up all night and discuss philosophy.  (Bleh!  Sounds like she’s dating a real bore.)  But when Marlene starts lecturing at her register about how unfair it is to charge people for food, Christian feels that he has no choice but to fire her.  Marlene thanks Christian for setting her free and then leaves the store for her new home at the local commune.

Uh-oh …. MARLENE HAS JOINED A CULT!

Wanting to free her from the Order of Eternal Light, Howard decides to go down to the commune.  Accompanying him is Viker and I was happy about that because, as played by Gordon Clapp, Viker was a character who made any scene funnier by his very presence.  The head of the cult is a bearded man who calls himself Solar (Sam Moses).  Solar preaches a life of simplicity while living in a mansion and driving a Ferrari.

Howard decides that the best way to free Marlene is to go undercover and pretend to join the cult.  Over the next few days, Howard doesn’t show up at work but Marlene does.  Marlene explain that she left the cult after talking to a strange man with a beard.  She also says that she never saw Howard at the cult.

Suddenly, Howard shows up, wearing love beads and speaking in an Indian accent.  Marlene throws water on his face, which magically sets Howard free from Solar’s brainwashing.  Marlene tells Howard that she left on her own after talking to the bearded man.  Howard reveals that he was that bearded man….

Wow, it sounds like a lot of interesting stuff happened off-camera!  In fact, that’s the main problem with this episode.  Almost all of the interesting stuff — Marlene getting brainwashed, Howard going undercover, the police raiding the commune and arresting Solar — happens off-screen.  What we’re left with is okay but never quite as funny as it potentially could be.

Still, at least Marlene’s back!  Someone has to keep the sharp insults flying in that store and no one’s better at it than Marlene.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 9/29/24 — 10/5/24


As you can probably guess, I spent most of this week watching horror movies.  I didn’t watch many television shows but here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch.  (For those keeping track, I still need to watch the first episodes of the new season of Survivor and I guess the first few episodes of Doctor Odyssey.  Maybe I’ll find the time next week.)

American Sports Story: Aaron Hernandez (Wednesday Night, FX)

This week, Aaron finally made it to the NFL.  This episode was well-done and made a point about how sports is big business and how players are expected to have the right image but it was really hard not to feel that, as with so many Ryan Murphy productions, this episode basically spent 50 minutes telling a 15 minute story.  Did we have to see every details of Aaron at the combine?  Probably not.  Did we have to once again hit on all the stuff about Aaron’s family?  I mean, most of what was revealed in this episode was already revealed in the previous three episodes.  The danger with these shows is that they always drag out the story to such an extent that it’s easy to get bored.

Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, FOX)

Despite all of the talent assembled for the season, the first dinner service was a disaster!  Isn’t that always the way?  “GET OUT!” Ramsay shouted.  If I went to Hell’s Kitchen and my food wasn’t screwed up and if Chef Ramsay wasn’t yelling at people the entire time, I would feel extremely disappointed.

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

Law & Order is back.  The season premiere was bland, disappointing, and heavy-handed but that always seems to be the case when it comes to the premiere of each season of Law & Order.  For whatever reason, the season premiere is almost always the weakest episode of this series and the show usually steadily improves afterwards.  That said, this is an election year and the partisan atmosphere is exactly the type of thing that tends to inflame this show’s worst tendencies.  McCoy is still missed.  Why is Maroun even on the show?

One Step Beyond (YouTube)

I watched a few episodes this week and I shared them here on the site as a part of Horrorthon!  Be sure to check them out when you get a chance because they’re all pretty entertaining.  I like the fact that the show pretended to be based on fact.  It was like the Beyond Belief of its day.

Rescue: Hi-Surf (Fox, Monday)

On Sunday morning, I watched the first three episodes of this new Fox show about lifeguards in Hawaii.  There was nothing particularly original about this show.  It was basically just a remake of Baywatch but without that show’s self-awareness.  But the scenery was lovely and some of the rescues were exciting to watch.  This is a show that could definitely become a 9-1-1-style guilty pleasure, assuming it survives its debut season.

Square Pegs (YouTube)

With my friend Pat, I watched a Halloween episode of this old 80s sitcom on Friday night.  It was amusing enough.  A very young Sarah Jessica Parker was apart of the cast and far more likable than she’s ever been on Sex and the City.

Horror On TV: One Step Beyond 1.6 “Epilogue” (dir by John Newland)


Carl Archer (Charles Aidman) is a recovering alcoholic who returns home after an extended stay in a rehab.  His wife (Julie Adams, of Creature of the Black Lagoon and The Last Movie fame) is skeptical about whether or not Carl has really sobered up and is prepared to be a responsible father to their son, Steve (Charles Herbert).  When Steve gets trapped in a cave, will Carl be able to use their psychic connection to find and rescue him?

Can you prove this didn’t happen!?

This episode originally aired on February 24th, 1959.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Do Not Reply (dir by Daniel Woltosz and Walter Woltosz)


What a disturbing movie!

2019’s Do Not Reply is about Chelsea (Amanda Arcui, who previously played Lola during the final seasons of Degrassi), a high school student who is super-excited to have found an online boyfriend.  Brad (Jackson Rathbone) seems like he’s funny, handsome, and charming and he’s even got a semi-tragic life story!  Now, it should be mentioned that there are some immediate red flags about Brad.  Brad seems to be just a bit too perfect and the story of his life — being adopted and having parents who won’t even spend the money necessary to get him a new phone — seems to be a little bit too on-the-nose as far as getting Chelsea to feel sorry for him is concerned.

Brad and Chelsea agree to go to the Halloween dance together.  Brad says that he’ll show up as a zombie football player and he requests that Chelsea show up dressed a cheerleader.  (RED FLAG!  RED FLAG!)  To the surprise of no one, Chelsea meets up with Brad at the dance and is promptly kidnapped.

Brad, it turns out, is not a teenager with parents who refuse to buy him a new phone.  Instead, he’s a man in his 20s who lives in a surprisingly nice house.  He’s been meeting and kidnapping teenager girls for a while.  He holds them prisoner in his house, requiring that they wear cheerleader uniforms while cleaning the place.  Brad wants the house to be spotless.  He wants his prisoners to adore him.  He wants them to be very polite and well-mannered whenever they eat the dinners that he prepares for them.  One girl who tried to escape was several beaten by Brad and locked in her room, where she suffers as a warning to the others.  Meagan (Kerri Medders) and Heather (Elisa Luthman) both seem to be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and they not only go out of their way to keep Brad happy but also to keep Chelsea from trying to escape.

If he’s in a good mood, Brad rewards his prisoners with “outdoor time,” which means that he allows them to wear a VR headset and visit an imaginary park.  Brad spends most of his day wearing his headset, not only searching for new realities but also reliving all of the terrible things he did in the past.  Brad is one sick man, his madness apparently inspired by his incestuous feelings towards his deceased sister who was — wait for it — a cheerleader!

The premise is a disturbing one, precisely because it is based on reality.  There are internet stalkers out there and there have been internet murderers as well.  Most of them aren’t as wealthy or handsome as Brad but they’re still out there, preying on those who are too naive to question their intentions.  While there’s definitely more than a small element of exploitation to the film (with the camera tending to linger over the cheerleader uniforms almost as intensely as Brad does), the film is ultimately on the side of Brad’s prisoners.  As opposed to the hyperarticulate madmen who tend to populate films like this, Brad is a loser from the start and the moment when his victims finally start to get the upper hand on him is a cheer-worthy moment.  Though the film gets off to a rather slow start, Amanda Arcuri, Kerri Medders, and Elisa Luthman all give good performances.  It’s a flawed film but it gets the job done.

 

Storm Warning (2007, directed by Jamie Blanks)


A lawyer named Rob (Robert Taylor) and his French wife, Pia (Nadia Fares), get lost while on a boating trip and land on an island during the middle of a storm.  French Island is home to a family of rednecks, Poppy (John Brumpton) and his two inbred sons, Jimmy (David Lyons) and Brett (Matthew Wilkinson).  When the rednecks catch Rob and Pia seeking shelter in their home, they sexually harass Pia (which is not cool) and they give Rob a ton of crap for driving a Volvo (justified).  “You’re a frog on French island,” one of the rednecks tells Pia.  After having their wet suits stolen and being forced to kill a wallaby, Pia and Rob remember the end of Straw Dogs and violently turn against the rednecks.

This was a pointless movie.  Don’t go on sailing trips if you don’t know who or what is on any of the islands.  Don’t break into people’s houses, no matter how bad the storm is.  Always make sure to grab the keys before trying to steal a truck.  Never trust a Rottweiler.  These are lessons that are understood by everyone except for characters in dumb movies like this one.

There’s an unrated version of this is you want an extra four minutes of blood and insults.

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.2 “The Drop-Ins Part 2”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the fourth season premiere concludes.

Episode 4.2 “The Drop-Ins Part 2”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on September 11th, 1978)

When last we saw the Sweathogs, they were planning on dropping out of school and getting real jobs, just like Barbarino.

At the start of the second part of the fourth season premiere, we discover the details of Barbarino’s new job.  He does indeed work at the hospital but, unlike what his classmates assumed, he’s not a doctor.  He’s not a nurse.  He’s not an X-ray technician.  He’s an orderly.  He mops the floor and he changes the sheets and he fluffs the pillows.  As he puts it, “I make 68 dollars a week and ten of that goes to Uncle Sam.”

(Little does Barbarino know that only having to give ten dollars to Uncle Sam would sound pretty good to future viewers.  I imagine by this point next year, we’ll be giving every cent to Uncle Sam and maybe we’ll be lucky to get some stale bread and Flint water in return.  And, of course, everyone will pretend to love it.)

Gabe comes down to see Barbarino.  He tells Barbarino that the Sweathogs look up to him and he asks Barbarino to talk to them about staying in school.  Barbarino, who is mopping the floor, points out that he dropped out and he’s already got a job.

“If this is all you want to do with your life,” Gabe says, looking at Barbarino’s mop and bucket, “you didn’t need to go to school.”

“Now you to tell me,” Barbarino replies.

As for the Sweathogs, they’ve already talked to Barbarino and applied for jobs at the hospital.  But, looking over their applications, they realize that they have no job experience, no educational accomplishments, and no chance of getting a job.

When a patient nearly dies because Barbarino didn’t know how to push the emergency button or where to find the crash cart, he realizes that he needs to get more education.  Soon, he and the Sweathogs are standing in the doorway of Mr. Kotter’s classroom, ready for a new schoolyear.  Barbarino says he’s going to be a doctor but he knows he has to graduate high school first.  As for the other Sweathogs — well, they’re 40 year-old high school students.  What other choice do they have but to go to class?

Part Two of The Drop-Ins is a significant improvement on Part One, largely because the majority of the episode follows John Travolta’s Barbarino.  None of the Sweathogs were bad actors but, when watching an episode like this one, it’s easy to see why Travolta’s the one who went on to become a movie star.  As Barbarino, Travolta just has a natural charisma that can’t be faked.  Of the main Sweathogs, Barbarino is the one who you really find yourself hoping will eventually graduate.  He’s just such a nice guy, even if he is a little …. slow.

And so ends the fourth season premiere.  The Sweathogs are back in class ….  but for how long?

Horror Scenes I Love: Christopher Lee is Dracula: Prince of Darkness


Christopher Lee often went on record about how much he disliked most of the Hammer films in which he played Dracula, feeling that Hammer didn’t really understand the character of Bram Stoker’s famous vampire.  In fact, when Lee agreed to appear in 1966’s Dracula: Prince of Darkness, he did so with the requirement that he would not have any dialogue.

While it’s possible that Lee may have been hoping that his demand would force Hammer to release him from his contract, his requirement actually works to the film’s advantage.  In the scene below, Lee shows that he didn’t need dialogue to make Dracula into a terrifying and malevolent force.  Lee’s otherworldly and dangerous charisma and Dracula’s feral and vicious nature come through without him saying a word.

“Fortunes of Doom” Dir. Julian Bachlow & Denman Hatch, Short Film Review, By Case Wright


Happy Horrorthon! I couldn’t find any photos of the short on IMDB, BUT this is the production company. I am about to watch the film I really hope it’s not terrible! BRB!

It opens with a couple really making out like A LOT! They’re eating Chinese food and damn it looks great, but they’re eating it like grossly! FYI, the actress is a painter and a GOOD ONE. See and support her art here

https://www.instagram.com/montinaart/: “Fortunes of Doom” Dir. Julian Bachlow & Denman Hatch, Short Film Review, By Case Wright

They open their fortune cookies and they read “He Knows” “She Knows”. She stabs her lover with a fork and it’s gross.
She leaves the corpse and …. I’m not spoiling this. It’s chilling. MUST WATCH! This is a gem! 2 minutes and 50 Seconds of some brilliant art. This was chilling, paced well, and had a clear beginning, middle, and end.
Guys, this short got me by the proverbials! Excellent!

4 Shots From 4 Horror Films: Special Terence Fisher Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Today’s director: one of the masters of Hammer horror and the director who brought back to life both Dracula and Baron von Frankenstein, Terence Fisher!

4 Shots From 4 Terrence Fisher Films

The Curse of Frankenstein (1957, dir by Terence Fisher, DP: Jack Asher)

The Horror of Dracula (1958, dir by Terence Fisher, DP: Jack Asher)

The Mummy (1959, dir by Terence Fisher, DP: Jack Asher)

The Devil Rides Out (1968, dir by Terence Fisher)