Daily Archives: May 15, 2024

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.8 “The Demons”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters gives us the story of several Arthurs.  Unfortunately, it’s not a very good story.

Episode 2.8 “The Demons”

(Dir by Scott Alexander, originally aired on November 19th, 1989)

On an alien planet, an alchemist named Arturus (Richard Moll) is desperate to get more of something that he calls “Drast.”  He decides that the best way to do this would be to summon a demon and demand that the demon give the Drast to him.  However, when Arturus tries to cast the spell, he makes a mistake and he ends up summoning a human insurance agent named Arthur (Jeff Silverman).  It takes a while but Arthur eventually figures out that he is Arturus’s human equivalent and that “Drast” is actually gold.  Arthur lies and tells Arturus that he has to go back to Earth to get the Drast.

Once he returns to Earth, Arthur decides to cast his own spell and summon a demon to help him break free from Arturus.  Since Arthur uses the same spell the Arturus used, he makes the same mistake and he ends up summoning Arturo (Eddie Deezen), a nerdy, red-skinned, dog-faced creature from another dimension who, it turns out, is just as obsessed with insurance as Arthur is.  Arthur sends Arturo to take care of Arturus, which Arturo does.  For some reason, Arturo taking care of Arturus largely takes place off-screen.  Having the main villain thwarted off-screen really does leave one wondering just what exactly the point of the story was in the first place.

Most of the previous episodes of Monsters had elements of humor to them.  This is the first episode to actually be a straight-out comedy and it doesn’t work at all.  Richard Moll and especially Eddie Deezen do manage to be amusing but the majority of the episode is centered around Jeff Silverman’s Arthur.  Silverman spends a lot of time frantically running around his house and yelling.  It gets to be a bit annoying.  The episode is so determined to convince you that it’s hysterically funny that it ends up beating the audience over the head with every punchline and basically begging the viewer to laugh.  There’s a desperation to the show’s humor and it quickly wears out its welcome.  Even potentially interesting ideas — like both Arturus and Arthur screwing up the same spell in the same way — ultimately fall flat.  Watching this episode, I was very much aware of the feeling of wanting to like what I was seeing considerably more than I actually did.

As I mentioned earlier, Eddie Deezen is really the only consistently funny thing about this episode.  The combination of his nerdiness and his fearsome appearance made me laugh more than I was expecting.  Sadly, I know Eddie Deezen has recently had to deal with some pretty serious health issues.  I’m hoping the best for him.

Next week’s episode will hopefully be a bit better.

The Films of 2024: Wanted Man (dir by Dolph Lundgren)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Johansen (Dolph Lundgren) is a San Diego cop who remains on the force despite the fact that most of his old friends and former partners have retired.  When he’s filmed beating up a Mexican man on the highway, he becomes the latest target of the Defund The Police movement.  It doesn’t matter that the man was a human trafficker who was driving truck full of kidnapped women.  Johansen has become an embarrassment.

Normally, you would think this would lead to Johansen being fired or, at the very least, suspended.  Instead, his bosses decide to send him to Mexico to escort two prisoners back to the United States.  Rosa (Christina Villa) and Leticia (Daniela Soto-Brenner) are two sex workers who witnessed the murder of a group of DEA agents.  Their testimony could be key to identifying the killers.  Despite his friend and former partner, Brynner (Kelsey Grammer), telling him that he should just retire rather than allow the police department to continually push him around, Johansen heads down to Mexico.

It turns out that bringing the women back to the United States is not going to be easy.  A roadside ambush leaves Leticia dead and Johansen severely wounded.  Though Rosa’s initial instinct is to abandon Johansen in the desert, she eventually takes him to the home of her cousin, a police officer named Miguel (Rocko Reyes).  As Johansen recovers, he discovers that the people who want Rosa dead are not going to give up and that he cannot trust anyone.

Let’s give some credit where credit is due.  Dolph Lundgren knows how to direct an efficient B-movie.  He has an adequate visual eye, he makes good use of the arid desert setting, and he gets believable performances out of the majority of his cast.  Christina Villa especially does a good job as the tough but ultimately kind-hearted Rosa.  The movie has a bit more going on underneath the surface than the typical B-action film.  Johansen is forced to reconsider his own prejudices while the film’s villains argue that they were forced into their actions by a society that refuses to take care of those who are expected to risk their lives to protect the status quo.  It’s not a dumb movie, though it does feature a lot of characters doing rather dumb things and the big twist demands that the viewer accept one too many coincidences.

Lundgren not only directed but co-wrote the script.  Apparently, he first came up with the idea of the film in 2006.  Interestingly, it’s obvious that the film went into production when Defund The Police was still a strong and powerful political movement and the film itself ultimately suggests that the police should be, if not defunded, at least massively reformed.  Of course, by the time the film was released in January, the Defund movement was considerably less powerful and was being blamed for the sharp increase in crime across the nation.  Chants of “Defund the police” have been replaced by cries of “Fund the police, for the love of God!”  That’s the danger which trying to make a film with a political subtext in an age with a 24-hour news cycle.  What was popular when a film goes into production will often be a spent force by the time the film actually gets released.

As for Wanted Man, it’s an efficient B-movie that gets the job done.  If nothing else, the sight of Dolph Lundgren and Kelsey Grammer playing best friends is just weird enough to keep things watchable.

The Desert Horseman (1946, directed by Ray Nazarro)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Steve Godfrey (Charles Starrett) is in trouble again.  He has been accused of stealing another payroll and the only man who can clear his name has just been murdered.  Steve thinks that he is being set up by outlaws who want to take control of the dead man’s ranch, which is now owned by Mary Ann Jarvis (Adele Roberts).

Luckily, Steve’s old friend, Smiley Burnette, is working as a cook at the Jarvis Ranch.  When Smiley isn’t singing songs with the Colorado Hillbillies, he tries to help Steve clear his name.  He explains that Mary Ann Jarvis won’t listen to Steve but maybe she’ll listen to Steve’s alter ego, The Durango Kid!

Durango rides again in this movie, though, the majority of the hour runtime is made up of Smiley Burnette singing songs and making jokes.  Smiley Burnette is not for everyone.  I enjoy the broad humor he brought to these films but I can understand why others might not.  Whenever Smiley sings a song, it does bring the action to a halt but that’s true of every Durango Kid film.  If you’re a fan of the series, you either like Smiley or you can at least tolerate him.  Smiley does do more than just sing in this movie.  He also throws black pepper in the eyes of one of the bad guys.

Even with all of the attention paid to Smiley, The Desert Horseman delivers all of the expected horse chases and gunfights.  The story is a little more interesting than usual.  Steve has been framed for not one but two crimes that he didn’t commit and that adds some urgency to the proceedings.  Charles Starrett, as always, is a believable western hero and he takes the role seriously.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.16 “Gopher’s Bride/Love with a Married Man/Not Tonight, Jack!”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week’s cruise did not make me want to set course for adventure.

Episode 4.16 “Gopher’s Bride/Love with a Married Man/Not Tonight, Jack!”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on January 24th, 1981)

This week’s episode is all about cabins.

For instance, Jack Clayton (Patrick Wayne) invited his girlfriend of four weeks, Helen Mann (Trish Stewart), to join him on the cruise without telling her that they would be sharing a cabin.  Sorry, Jack — Helen doesn’t go for that sort of thing!  Jack is kicked out and spends most of the cruise trying to find some place else to sleep.  (He also ends up awkwardly lugging his suitcase around with him.)  Eventually, Helen gets some romantic advice from Julie (always a mistake) and decides that it’s not fair to kick Jack out of the cabin that he paid for.  She tells him that he can stay in the cabin.  Jack’s like, “Finally, let’s get it on!”  No, Jack, Helen doesn’t go for that.  Instead, she plans on sleeping outdoors for the rest of the cruise!

The two of them work it out eventually.  When Jack objects to Helen sleeping outside, even if it means Jack would again have to find someplace else to go, Helen realizes that he actually does care about her and he’s not just interested in sex.  They leave the boat together, with Helen promising that she and Jack will always sleep in the same bed from now on.  I give their relationship another two weeks or so.

Meanwhile, Kay Tindal (Susan Oliver) wants Ned Beacham (Paul Burke) to come visit her cabin and Ned is sorely tempted because his wife, Margo (Dana Wynter), is such a workaholic.  Fortunately, Ned and Margo’s 24th anniversary falls right in the middle of the cruise and it causes Ned to realize that he still loves Margo and it causes Margo to realize that she spends too much time worrying about her career.  Ned and Margo leave the ship together while Kay can only watch from the staircase.  Ha!  Take that, homewrecker!

Finally, Gopher risks his job so that Nicole (Marie Laurin) can stay in his cabin.  Nicole is Gopher’s pen pal from Quebec.  (Actually, she was writing to Doc and Isaac who, for reasons that are never made clear, signed Gopher’s name to all of the letters.)  When Nicole shows up on the boat, Gopher takes one look at her and says that she can stay with him.  Of course, it’s against ship regulations for passengers to stay with crewmembers so, in order to keep Captain Stubing from finding out, Gopher tells him that Nicole is a new maid.  Gopher ends up doing all of Nicole’s work and Nicole ends up meeting and getting engaged to a passenger named Frank (Paul Gale).  Sorry, Gopher!

This was a pretty forgettable episode and it was a bit hard to sympathize with any of the passengers.  Jack was a cad.  Helen was a prude.  Kay was a homewrecker.  Ned was a wimp.  Margo was cold.  Nicole was so self-centered that she didn’t even notice that Gopher was killing himself with extra work to keep her from getting kicked off the boat.  I wouldn’t want to be on a cruise with any of these people.

On a slightly positive note, Captain Stubing did ask Vicki if she had done her homework so I now definitely know that Vicki has a tutor and is getting an education while living on the boat.  At least I don’t have to worry about that anymore!

Scenes That I Love: Joseph Cotten and Teresa Wright in Shadow of a Doubt

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

On this date in 1905, the great actor Joseph Cotten was born in Petersburg, Virginia.  A longtime friend and collaborator of Orson Welles, Cotten was one of the most dependable leading men of the 40s and 50s, an actor with the charisma of star and the talent of an artist.

Today’s scene that I love comes from Alfred Hitchcock’s 1943 masterpiece, Shadow of a Doubt, and it features Teresa Wright and Joseph Cotten.  Wright plays Charlie.  Cotten plays her beloved uncle, who is also named Charlie and who might very well be a serial killer.  In this scene, Uncle Charlie drags his niece to a seedy bar, where he confesses that, as she earlier deduced, he is a suspect in a murder investigation.  With a mixture of charm and intimidating, Charlie tries to convince his niece to keep his secret to herself.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special John Glen Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to English director and editor, John Glen!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 John Glen Films

For Your Eyes Only (1981, dir by John Glen, DP: Alan Hume)

Octopussy (1983, dir by John Glen, DP: Alan Hume)

A View To A Kill (1985, dir by John Glen, DP: Alan Hume)

Christopher Columbus: The Discovery (1992, dir by John Glen, DP: Alec Mills)

Music Video of the Day: Electric Crown by Testament (1992, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Electric Crown was the first single off of Testament’s fifth studio album, The Ritual.  Both the album and the single were seen as a musical departure for Testament, who were previously known for being a trash metal band.

Testament was founded in 1983 and the band still exists and tours, though guitarist Eric Peterson is the only founding member of the band to still be with Testament.  (He and vocalist Chuck Billy are the only two members to have appeared on every Testament album.)

Enjoy!