Daily Archives: January 3, 2024

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.14 “Parents From Space”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire show is streaming on Tubi.

This week on Monsters, peace-loving aliens crash land on Earth and meet some really unlikable people.  Hmmm …. didn’t we just do this last week?

Episode 1.14 “Parents From Space”

(Dir by Gerald Cotts, originally aired on February 11th, 1989)

Poor Cindy (Mary Griffin)!

Cindy is a sweet-natured and caring orphan who is treated like a slave by her cruel foster parents, Ward (Frank Gorshin) and June (Peggy Cass).  Ward and June don’t care about Cindy.  All they care about is the money that they make for taking care of her.  When the social worker visits, they pretend to be a sweet, old couple.  When the social worker leaves, they treat Cindy like a slave and refuses to even show a hint of compassion when Cindy’s beloved hamster is seriously injured.

Fortunately, there are two rat-like aliens in the basement.  Their spaceship crashed and their bodies cannot handle Earth’s atmosphere.  In order to find a way home, the rats temporarily switch minds with Ward and June.  In the rat bodies, Ward and June enter into a catatonic state.  In the human bodies, the two rats try to figure out how to survive and escape.

The two rats turn out to be a lot nicer than Ward and June and they even heal the hamster.  Cindy loves her foster rat parents but she’s disappointed when the two rats say that they are going to have to switch bodies again.  As they explain it, it is simply not ethical for them to leave Ward and June in the rat’s bodies, especially since the rat bodies can’t survive on Earth for too long.  Cindy responds by disintegrating the rat’s bodies (and, of course, the minds of Ward and June).  The rats remain in the human bodies.  When a social worker shows up to check in on the living situation, she discovers a very happy family but also a very messy house.  The rats may be in human bodies but they are still rats.

This is an incredibly simple story with a one-joke premise.  It’s a fun episode but it also feels a bit rushed due to the 20-minute runtime.  Ward and June are such terrible foster parents that there’s never really any doubt as to what Cindy is going to do.  I think a lot of people who grew up with abusive parents (foster or not) will definitely find a lot of wish-fulfillment in this episode.  Cindy has terrible parents but she gets to trade them in for a better set.

The best thing about this episode was definitely the rats themselves.  For a low-budget show, Monsters usually had effective creature effects.  Just check out these two:

Evil, they make look but they’re actually the nicest aliens this side of Glim-Glim.

This was a slight but likable episode.  Cindy got a nice family and the hamster lived.

Catching Up With The Films Of 2023: Gran Turismo: Based On A True Story (dir by Neill Blomkamp)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Having had a rough day, I decided that I needed to watch a crowd-pleaser tonight.

Gran Turismo: Based on a True Story is definitely that.  The film may have an unwieldy title and it might not really break any new ground as far as sports films are concerned but it’s still definitely a film that will leave viewers feeling satisfied.  It tells the story of Jann Mardenborough (Archie Madekwe), who gets a chance to turn his love for and skill at the Gran Turismo video game into a real life career when he is selected for GT Academy, a school in which the world’s best simulation drivers are trained to be real-life racers.  Though GT Academy may have started out as a PR stunt that was masterminded by executive Danny Moore (Orlando Bloom), both Jann and his trainer, Jack Salter (David Harbour), are determined to prove that the simulation drivers deserve to be taken seriously.

Gran Turismo hits all of the expected moments.  Jann’s father (Djimon Hounsou) is a former professional soccer player who worries that his son is going to waste his life pursuing an impossible dream.  Jann’s mother (played by my favorite Spice Girl, Geri Halliwell-Horner) worries that Jann is going to be one of the drivers who wrecks his car and doesn’t emerge from the remains.  Jann has a pretty and supportive girlfriend named Audrey (Maeve Courtier-Lilley).  Jann has a quirky love for the music of Kenny G and Enya.  Jann has to win everyone’s respect, including Jack’s.  Jann has to deal with arrogant rivals.  Jann has to conquer his own insecurities before he can win and Jack has to conquer his own past before he can truly help to lead Jann to victory.

And, of course, Jann is involved in a massive car wreck that causes him to lose his confidence right before the big race.  The wreck is actually based on something that truly did happen to Jann Mardenborough, though it occurred two years into his racing career as opposed to at the beginning of it.  Tragically, in both the movie and in real life, the crash resulted in the death of a spectator.  One can understand why the car crash was moved (because otherwise, Jann would have been too confident going into the big race and there wouldn’t be as much suspense as to whether or not he would be able to conquer his fears) while also feeling that it was a bit of a tacky thing to do.  The film reducing a real-life tragedy to a plot point feels all the more gauche when you consider that the filmmakers could have just made up some incident to cause Jann to lose his confidence.  I mean, we all know that “based on a true story” doesn’t actually mean that a film’s story is 100% (or even 10%) true.

If you can overlook that bit of narrative tackiness, Gran Turismo is a well-made and likable sports film.  Not a single moment really took me by surprise but, more often than not, I still found myself smiling whenever Jann proves the naysayers wrong and finished strong.  Director Neill Blokamp made a huge splash with his first film, 2009’s District 9, but, his subsequent films have struggled to recapture the energy and narrative verve of his debut.  Gran Turismo proves that Blokamp is still capable of directing a crowd-pleaser.

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.24 “Dumb Luck/Tres Amigos/Hey, Jealous Lover”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The week, the crew is surprisingly incompetent.

Episode 3.24 “Dumb Luck/Tres Amigos/Hey, Jealous Lover”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on March 15th, 1980)

The members of the crew really disappointed me this week.

For instance, Gertrude (Jayne Meadows) and Milton Benson (James Gregory) are on the cruise.  Gertrude is friendly and tries to talk to everyone.  Whenever Milton sees any man talking to his wife, he flies into a jealous rage and threatens them.  The crew reacts to this not by telling Milton to calm down but instead, by hiding whenever they see Milton or Gertrude on the boat.  They’re terrified of Milton and yet, somehow, members of the crew keep ending up in the cabin with Gertrude.

Finally, at the end of the cruise, Milton shows up at the captain’s cabin and …. OH MY GOD, HE’S GOT A GUN!  Goper, Doc, Isaac, and Stubing all end up diving to the floor.  Milton explains that he acts jealous because he wants his wife to still feel as if she’s as desirable as the day they first met.  He also says that he’s giving the gun to Stubing as a gift to thank him for the enjoyable cruise.

Later, as she prepares to leave the ship, Gertrude tells Gopher and Isaac that she knows that Milton can be jealous so she specifically dresses as drably as possible so that he won’t have to worry about any other men hitting on her.  In the name of love, she tries to look ugly and he acts like a homicidal lunatic.  Well, whatever works for them!  They seemed to be happy together.  Still, it must be said that the crew could have handled the whole situation better.  Hiding in hallways and under desks is not what I expect from an experienced group of sailors.

Meanwhile, Julie’s friend, Carol Ketay (Shelley Hack), is on the cruise.  Carol is a nuclear physicist and a member of a think tank.  Julie is worried that men are intimidated by Carol being too smart.  Julie also mentions that she’s never had that problem.  Julie takes Carol aside and tell her that she needs to learn how to “talk dumb” if she wants to get a man.  After borrowing a dress from Julie, Carol goes out of her way to sound like an idiot and she immediately catches the attention of Chris (Kevin Tighe).  Chris and Carol have a great time on the ship but Carol is shocked to learn that Chris doesn’t want to date her on dry land because he thinks she’s too dumb.  Carol reveals that she’s actually a nuclear physicist and they leave the boat arm-in-arm.  Good for them!  Julie really gave terrible advice but then again, I think she just wanted her friend to get laid.  She wasn’t really that concerned with Carol getting a long-term relationship.

Finally, Vicki gets to do something this cruise.  She befriends Keith (Ronnie Scribner), the young son of Alice (Jennifer Darling) and Floyd Gaines (John Gabriel).  While exploring the ship, Vicki and Keith meet a young stowaway named Luis (Tony Ramirez).  Though Vicki is not enthused about hiding a stowaway from her father, she still takes a blood oath and promises to protect Luis.  (This would be ground for Vicki being fired if she was actually a paid member of the crew as opposed to just someone who pretends tp have a job.)  As for Keith, he steals $200 from his parents and gives it to Luis.  His parents freak out when they can’t find the money and they accuse the crew of robbing them!  (The crew can’t even handle a jealous husband.  How are they going to steal $200?)  While searching for the money, Gopher and Julie discover Luis.

So, I guess Luis is going into the juvenile justice system, right?  No, not on The Love Boat!  Keith’s parents allow Luis to have the money and Stubing and Vicki pay for Luis’s ticket so Luis is no longer a stowaway.  This storyline was okay.  All of the kids were natural actors so things never got overly cutesy.  That said, I can’t help that notice that a lot of people have stowed away on the ship over the years.  Captain Stubing might want to talk to his crew about that.

Next week …. an agent of Child Protective Services takes a cruise.  Look out, Vicki!

Song of the Day: White Rabbit (performed by Jefferson Airplane)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since today is Grace Slick’s 85th birthday, today’s song of the day features her (and, to be fair, the rest of Jefferson Airplane) performing White Rabbit at the first Woodstock.

Grace Slick and Jefferson Airplane not only performed at Woodstock but they were also among the bands who attempted to perform at the Altamont Free Concert a few months later.  Needless to say, the vibe at Altamont — which featured the Rolling Stones as headliners and the Hell’s Angels providing security — was far more aggressive and hostile than the vibe at Woodstock.  While the Stones were performing, a member of the audience got into a fight with the Hell’s Angels, raised a gun, and was stabbed to death.

As seen in the documentary Gimme Shelter, even before the murder that ended the 60s, the Angels were aggressive, even knocking out Jefferson Airplane’s other singer, Marty Balin, in the middle of the band’s performance.  Also seen in that documentary is Grace Slick doing her best to calm the crowd and, along with Paul Kanter, rather fearlessly talking back to a drunk Hell’s Angel who tried to take over the stage.

(It should be noted that Grace did all of that even though she had forgotten to put in her contact lenses that day.  Me, I can’t even walk from one end of a room to another if I forget to put in my contacts.)

White Rabbit

(Lyrics by Grace Slick)

One pill makes you largerAnd one pill makes you smallAnd the ones that mother gives youDon’t do anything at allGo ask AliceWhen she’s ten feet tall
And if you go chasing rabbitsAnd you know you’re going to fallTell ’em a hookah-smoking caterpillarHas given you the callCall AliceWhen she was just small
When the men on the chessboardGet up and tell you where to goAnd you’ve just had some kind of mushroomAnd your mind is moving lowGo ask AliceI think she’ll know
When logic and proportionHave fallen sloppy deadAnd the White Knight is talking backwardsAnd the Red Queen’s off with her headRemember what the dormouse saidFeed your headFeed your head

Scenes That I Love: Bugsy Attacks in Once Upon A Time In America

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

In honor of Sergio Leone’s birthday, today’s scene that I love comes from his final film, 1984’s Once Upon A Time In America. 

In this scene, which takes place in 1918 in New York City, a group of young street kids who fancy themselves sophisticated criminals are ambushed by their rival, Bugsy.  With the combination of Ennio Morricone’s score and Leone’s haunting vision of New York City at the start of the 20th Century, this scene captures the loss of innocence that will eventually lead to all of the characters becoming ruthless (albeit successful) gangsters in their adult years.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sergio Leone Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sergio Leone (1929 — 1989)

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

95 years ago today, Sergio Leone was born in Rome, Italy.  The son of actor/screenwriter Vincenzo Leone and silent actress Edvige Valcarenghi, Sergio was born into the Italian film industry.  He began his career in the post-war rebuilding period, working as an assistant to Vittorio De Sica and, as an assistant director, for American films that were shot in Italy.  (Albeit uncredited, he worked on two Oscar-nominated Biblical epics, Quo Vadis and Ben-Hur.)

After making his directorial debut with The Colossus of Rhodes, Leone went on to direct the films that would change the face of international cinema.  Though he was hardly the first director of Spaghetti westerns, he was was the first to achieve far-reaching acclaim.  With the Dollars Trilogy, he made Clint Eastwood a star and Eastwood has often said that the majority of what he knows about directing, he learned from working with Leone and later Don Siegel.  Leone went on to direct the brilliant Once Upon A Time In The West and Once Upon A Time in America, two epic visions of American history that, sadly, were not initially treated well by their distributors.

Though Leone is only credited with directing eight films, his influence cannot be underestimated.  As both a visual artist and a cultural and political commentator, his films continue to influence directors to this day.

For that reason, it’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Sergio Leone Films

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (1966, dir by Sergio Leone, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)

Once Upon A Time In The West (1968, dir by Sergio Leone, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)

Duck, You Sucker (1971, dir by Sergio Leone, DP: Giuseppe Ruzzolini)

Once Upon A Time In America (1984, dir by Sergio Leone, DP: Tonino Delli Colli)

Music Video of the Day: Accidents Will Happen by Elvis Costello & The Attractions (1979, directed Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Though Accidents Will Happen has since come to be seen as one of Elvis Costello’s signature songs, it was only a moderate hit when it was initially released in the UK.  Maybe it would have been more popular if MTV had been around in 1979.  The music video was innovative at a time when most videos were just performance clips of the bands in concert.

The video for Accidents Will Happen is considered to be the first fully animated music video.  The video was directed by Annabel Jankel and Rocky Morton, who also did videos for Rush and Cathy Denis.  Jankel and Morton would later go on to create Max Headroom and to direct the infamous first Super Mario Bros. film.

Enjoy!