Daily Archives: November 1, 2023

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.5 “My Zombie Lover”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991.  The entire show is streaming on Youtube.

For this week’s episode, the dead rise and …. hey, wait a minute.  Horrorthon’s over!  And yet, here I am reviewing another show about zombies.  Oh well, let’s get to it!

Episode 1.5 “My Zombie Lover”

(Dir by David Misch, originally aired on November 19th, 1988)

It’s the night of the dead!

In a small town, the dead rise once a year and feast on the flesh of the living.  No one is sure why this happens.  As one person explains it, some people think that it’s a gypsy curse and some people think that it’s due to radiation and others think that it’s just the result of poor embalming techniques.  But every year, for one night, families in the town head out with their guns and they spend a few hours killing zombies.

Dottie (Tempestt Bledsoe) is home, visiting from college.  She doesn’t want to go out and hunt zombies.  Nor does she want to go see her old high school acquaintances.  She just wants to stay on the couch while Dad (Ed Wheeler), Mom (Marcella Lowery, the terrible principal from City Guys), and her younger brother, Brad (Eugene Byrd), head outside.  Dad can’t wait to kill some zombies.  Brad, meanwhile, thinks that the zombies should be left alone and is carrying a protest sign.

After her family boards up the house and then leaves, Dottie is surprised to hear a knock at the door.  She answers the door and finds Paul Nichols (Steve Harper) standing outside with some flowers.  Paul was in Dottie’s French class but he died before he could graduate from high school.  Now, he’s back in zombie form and he just wants Dottie to know that he always had a crush on her.  Soon, Paul and Dottie are talking about old times.  Unfortunately, Paul cannot resist the temptation to bite Dottie’s hand but Dottie forgives him.

Suddenly, Dad, Mom, and Brad return.  Dad takes one look at Paul and aims his rifle.  Shouting that she loves Paul, Dottie jumps in front of her zombie boyfriend and is killed by the bullet that was meant for him.  However, since this is the night of the dead, Dottie immediately returns in zombie form.  She and Paul are both hungry and they ask if there’s any meat in the house.  Dad and Mom think for a moment and then they both look down at Brad and share a smile.

In other words, Brad was the only person in town who cared about the zombies and now, he’s going to be eaten.

I appreciated this episode’s rather macabre sense of humor and I especially liked the way Dad ran through all the possible reasons for the zombies returning.  (They are all reasons that have been suggested in various Romero zombie films.)  Unfortunately, a few too many of the jokes fell flat for this episode to really be considered a total success.  Tempestt Bledsoe, in particular, seemed to be confused by the episode’s grotesque humor, giving a performance that never quite found the right balance between sincerity and humor.  That said, I did like Steve Harper’s performance as the saddest zombie in the world.  He only gets to eat once a year but, rather than do that, he just wants to let Dottie know that he liked her.  Awwwwww!

Despite some tonal inconsistences, this was an entertaining episode, one that I appreciated as a fan of zombie films.

The Rangers Have Won The World Series!

Posted on by Dazzling Erin

The Texas Rangers just won their first World Series!

I AM SO EXCITED AND SO PROUD OF MY TEAM!  A lot of people didn’t think the Rangers had much of a chance in the post-season, especially after we lost our 1st place standing in AL West to the Astros.  A lot of people thought there was no way we would sweep the Orioles.  They thought the Astros has all the momentum in the ALCS.  And when Adolis Garcia and Max Scherzer were injured during the World Series, they thought the team wouldn’t be able to keep up.  But all of the Rangers stepped up and tonight, by a score of 5-0, they beat the Diamondbacks and won their first World Series!

The Diamondbacks should be proud of the effort they made.  They really impressed me, more than the Astros did when they played the Rangers in the ALCS.  When the Diamondbacks make it back to the World Series, I will totally cheer for them as long as they’re not playing the Rangers!

I’m so proud of my team!  They did it!

Go Rangers!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.14 “The Stimulation of Stephanie/Life Begins at 40/The Next Step”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard!  They’re expecting you!

Episode 3.14 “The Stimulation of Stephanie/Life Begins at 40/The Next Step”

(Dir by Allen Baron, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

After being unexplainably absent last week, Vicki returns this week and is once again somehow a member of the Love Boat crew, despite only being 12.  Nobody asks where she was last week and certainly, no one asks her how she’s doing in school.  In fact, not only the crew but also the passengers seem to be totally accepting of the idea of a 12 year-old working as the assistant to the cruise director.  I guess the 70s were a different time.

If I seem to be harping on the strangeness of Vicki living on the boat, that’s because this week’s episode really isn’t that interesting.  This week’s episode is a fairly bland one.  It’s so bland that it really leaves you with no choice but wonder about the logistics of how the boat works.  And really, that’s something that should never happen when you’re watching a show like The Love Boat.  If you’re worrying about real-life questions while watching a show like this, it means that you’re watching an episode that just isn’t working.  The Love Boat, like Fantasy Island, should be an escape from reality and not an excuse to wonder about how it all works.

As usual, we’ve got three storylines to deal with.  Jo Anne Worley plays Dottie Anderson, who is 39 years old and still unmarried.  She’s booked herself in the honeymoon suite because she is determined that she is going to meet a man and get married over the course of the cruise.  Julie assures Dottie that there’s nothing wrong with being single when you’re 4o, which is easy for Julie to say because someone asks her to get married during almost every cruise.  Anyway, Dottie flirts with a lot of men and ultimately, she comes to realize that Julie was right.  She embraces being single and leaves the boat happy.  Yay!  This storyline didn’t add up too much but at least Jo Anne Worley knew how to deliver a joke.

Meanwhile, pro football player Virgil Plummer (Roosevelt Grier) is upset because he’s about to retire from the game that he loves and he doesn’t know what the future holds for him.  With the help of his wife (Melba Moore) and Isaac, Virgil realizing that he can pursue a career as a cook.  Personally, I’m not sure why he wouldn’t just retire and live off the millions he made as a football player.  Or maybe he could become a coach or one of those “fight for every inch” motivational speakers.  Grier and Moore had a likable chemistry (even if it did feel more like a close friend chemistry as opposed to a married chemistry) but again, this storyline just didn’t add up too much.

Finally, sex research Norman Bridges (Dick Martin) and his assistant, Stephanie Champman (Char Fontane) board the boat.  Bridges wants to research the roots of sexual simulation.  Stephanie is in love with Bridges, though you have to wonder why because he’s kind of a boring jerk.  Still, when Norman thinks that Doc Bricker is trying to seduce Stephanie, Norman goes down to Bricker’s cabin and punches him.  Unfortunately, Norman wasn’t wearing his glasses and didn’t initially realize that the woman in Doc’s cabin was not Stephanie but was instead a passenger named Lena (Judy Landers).  Eventually, Norman does figure out that Stephanie loves him and they leave the boat together.  Somehow, Norman got away with assaulting the ship’s doctor.  This storyline was just dumb.  No one in their right mind would fall in love with someone as clueless and self-absorbed as Norman.

This was a less-than-satisfactory cruise.  But that’s what happens when you break child labor laws.

Film Review: The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial (dir by William Friedkin)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial is a film that I wanted to like more than I actually did.

The movie, which is based on a play by Herman Wouk (which was itself based on a novel by Wouk that was adapted into an Oscar-nominated film in 1954), takes place in a Naval courtroom.  Lt. Steven Maryk (Jake Lacey) is on trial, accused of mutiny against his commanding officer.  Maryk claims that, when the ship sailed into a storm, his commanding officer, Philip Francis Queeg (Kiefer Sutherland), was giving orderss that put the entire ship at risk.  With the support of the officers, Maryk relieved Queeg of command.  Maryk claims that he did so with the knowledge that it would lead to him being court-martialed.

Maryk is assigned Lt. Greenwald (Jason Clarke) as his defense counsel.  Greenwald is not happy with his assignment because he think that Maryk is guilty and he believes in the chain of command.  When Maryk and his fellow officers claim that Queeg was showing signs of mental instability, Greenwald wonders how they came to that conclusion.  Whereas Maryk and his fellow officers, including Keith (Tom Riley) and Keefer (Lewis Pullman), claim that Queeg was dangerously unstable, Greenwald sees an insecure commander who was abandoned by his men.  Greenwald comes to realize that keeping Maryk out of the brig will mean destroying Queeg on the stand.

As I said, I wanted to like this film more than I actually did.  The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial was the final film to be directed by William Friedkin.  Friedkin started his career by directing adaptations of plays like The Birthday Party and The Boys In The Band, so another theatrical adaptation does feel like an appropriate bookend for a legendary career.  Friedkin’s best films featured troubled and somewhat obsessive individuals, people who are almost addicted to taking risks.  That’s certainly an accurate description of several of the characters in The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial, from Queeg to Keefer to even Greenwald himself.  After Friedkin passed away in August, I found myself really hoping that The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial would be one final brilliant Friedkin film.

There’s a lot of good things to be said about The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial, including the fact that Jason Clarke is well-cast as Lt. Greenwald.  But, in the end, The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial is essentially a filmed play and, despite a camera that moves frequently, it all feels rather stagey and, at a time, a bit too theatrical.  As good as Clarke is, some other members of the cast can’t break free of the film’s staginess and their performances often feel disappointingly superficial.  This is especially true of Monica Raymund as the prosecutor and, surprisingly, Kiefer Sutherland as Queeg.  Sutherland, who, when he was younger, would have been the ideal pick for the role of Lt. Keefer, gives an overly mannered performance as Queeg, one that is all tics and nerves but with little of the vulnerability that Humphrey Bogart brought to the role in the 1954 film.

Friedkin’s The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial takes place in 2022, as opposed to the World War II setting of Wouk’s original novel.  This does lead to an interesting subtext, as Friedkin’s version of the story is set during a time when many people are no longer confident in America’s military leadership.  (Wouk’s novel and play came out while America was still feeling confident after the victory of the Allies in World War II.)  Friedkin takes a direct approach to the material, allowing the audience to decide for themselves whether Maryk did the right thing.

It’s a solid enough film but one that never quite escapes its stage origins.  Friedkin’s respect for the material comes through, even if the film isn’t totally successful.

Music Video of the Day: Alien Nation by Scorpions (1993, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

I know that I surely wasn’t the only one hoping this song and video would be about the movie and the television series about the aliens coming to Earth and becoming a part of the regular population.

Well, it’s not.

Instead, it’s about the reunification of Germany and the struggle of some to adjust to it.  (The name of the song has a double meaning, as it’s about both a new world and human alienation.)  It makes sense since Scorpions is a German band.  This song appeared on their 12th studio album, Face the Heat, and is one of the few directly political songs to be recorded by Scorpions.

Enjoy!