Hi, everyone! Jeff and I have been up at Lake Texoma since Monday and I really haven’t watched much television. I’ve been taking advantage of this vacation to get some much needed rest so my watching has pretty much been limited to the shows that I write about, like Big Brother and the shows that I watch for this site’s retro television reviews.
Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)
I wrote about Big Brother here! This season has been pretty dire but things are looking up this week, with Cameron winning Head of Household in an upset and targeting the production favorites. For the past few seasons, both Survivor and Big Brother has suffered from the heavy hand of production protecting their favorites and helping certain players steamroll their way to the end. It’s led to both shows getting pretty dull. Cameron winning HoH not only shocked the House but it also probably shocked production and, interestingly enough, Cameron didn’t mention a word about who he was nominating until he actually did it. Cameron seems to understand that he’s not only playing against the other houseguests but production as well. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the online Big Brother fandom as excited as they are for this week.
On Friday night and Saturday morning, I watched two episodes of this old 80s television show. The first episode was about “Goth Rock,” and I enjoyed it quite a bit. The second episode was about heavy metal and featured a profile of the band Def Leppard.
Having thoroughly loved watching Yes, Minister on PBS, I am very happy that they are now showing the sequel, Yes, Prime Minister. I watched the first episode on Monday morning. Three days into his premiership, Jim Hacker (Paul Eddington) tried to cement his legacy by reforming the UK’s nuclear defense system and re-introducing conscription. Fortunately, Sir Humphrey (Nigel Hawthorne) was able to distract the Prime Minister by arranging for him to get a cook for his new residence. Listening to Eddington, Hawthrone, and Derek Fowlds exchange snappy dialogue is a wonderful experience.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the Sweathogs meet John Astin and Gabe goes to the doctor!
Episode 2.5 “The Museum”
(Dir by Bill Davis, originally aired on October 28th, 1976)
Mr. Woodman steps out of his office, just to find Gabe waiting for him.
“Mr. Woodman,” Gabe says, “did I ever tell you about the black sheep of my family?”
“I thought that was you,” Woodman replies.
Wow! Woodman has clearly already won this exchange but Gabe still proceeds to tell Mr. Woodman about his Uncle Lefty Kotter, who was a gambler. Mr. Woodman dramatically sighs and walks out of the office. See, Gabe, not everyone’s as patient as Julie.
After the opening credits, we find Gabe and Julie preparing the Sweathogs for a field trip to the Museum of Natural History. Barbarino is super excited because he’s never been to a real museum before. He explains that he did go to a wax museum once. “I saw Raquel Welch,” Barbarino explains, “Did you know that wax come right off in your hands?”
When Mr. Woodman comes out of his office to complain about the Sweathogs being taken off campus, Epstein explains that they’ve decide to take Woodman to the museum with them. Freddie announces that Woodman is going to be his field trip buddy. Personally, I think it would be fun to go on a field trip with Mr. Woodman because Mr. Woodman is clearly insane.
When the Sweathogs reach the museum, it actually looks a lot like one of those “horror dungeon museums” that always seem to pop up around Halloween.
Arnold is frightened of the museum and tosses a bunch of salt over his shoulder and into Epstein’s eyes. (Yes, Arnold is carrying a salt shaker with him.) Gabe asks the museum curator, Mr. Gore (John Astin), to assure Arnold that there is no reason to be scared. Mr. Gore explains that his name is pronounced “Gor-ay,” and then says that there are powers in the world about which one should not joke. “There are forces here,” Gore explains, “that do not appreciate one-liners!” Uh-oh, Gabe’s in trouble!
Barbarino and Freddie are also in trouble because they’ve entered an exclusive room that is home to an Egyptian mummy!
“This room is for VIPs only!” Mr. Gore declares.
“I am a VIP,” Barbarino protests. “I’m a Very Italian Person.”
Mr. Gore agrees to show the Sweathogs the Egyptian room on the condition that they touch nothing. “Or else you’ll risk the wrath of the pharohs!” Julie proceeds to say that the mummy doesn’t look a day over 2500 years old. Gabe jokes about the Mummy being named Pew. Mr. Gore, having grown annoyed, dares Gabe to open a cursed sarcophogus and risk the Mummy coming back to life. Gabe opens it, just to have Horshack step out of it.
“Hello,” Horshack says, “how are ya?”
Gore faints. Woodman announces that it’s time for the Sweathogs to return to the school. One problem, the door to the Egyptian room has slammed shut and cannot be opened. “Its the Curse of Pew!” a delirious Gore says.
Gabe explains that they’ll probably be trapped in the room until the next morning and then proceeds to give a mock eulogy for Pew The Mummy.
“We’re doomed!” Woodman shouts, “All doomed!”
Mr. Gore finally wakes up and says that he’s sure the curator will come to their rescue.
“Mr. Gor-ay,” Gabe says, “You’re the curator”
“How unfortunate,” Gore replies.
With everyone trapped in the Egyptian Room together, Horshack worries that he’ll never get a chance to meet Marie Osmond. When Gabe notices that there’s an air duct that someone could crawl through to get help, Horshack volunteers. Unfortunately, it turns out that the air duct just circles around the room so Horshack returns and continues to think about becoming an Osmond.
“I may be dying,” Woodman yells, “But I’m taking you Sweathogs with me! The mummy is going to get us if we don’t get out!”
Mr. Gore suggests that the Mummy might be satisfied with a human sacrifice. Woodman calls for Horshack to come over.
Fortunately, Epstein says that he’s seen enough home repair shows to know how to find “the stress part” of the door and open it. He taps on the door and …. it opens! The audience goes wild, even if it does seem like kind of an anticlimactic way to end the episode. But at least Epstein got to be the hero for once.
This episode was cartoonish, even by the standards of Welcome Back Kotter, but I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that this episode aired three days before Halloween. This was a holiday episode and I imagine it was a lot of fun when viewed on a dark and stormy night in 1976.
Episode 2.6 “Gabe Under Pressure”
(Dir by Jay Sandrich, originally aired on November 4th, 1976)
Julie brings Gabe his lunch.
“Did I ever tell you about my uncle who thought he was a horse?” Gabe asks. He proceeds to tell her about him. Julie smiles tolerantly.
As for the main storyline, the free clinic (where Julie volunteers) is offering free physicals at Buchanan High. Gabe expects the Sweathogs to take advantage of the offer but he himself refuses to go to the doctor to find out why he has a pain in his chest. It turns out that Gabe is scared of doctors! The Sweathogs are concerned enough to show up at Gabe’s apartment. Barbarino tries to take Gabe’s pulse. When Gabe asks if Barbarino knows what he’s doing, Barbarino replies, “I know it like the back of my hand.” Barbarino then gets distracted by the back of his hand.
Touched by the concern of his students, Gabe conquers his fear and sees the doctor. Gabe discovers he is okay and everyone watching learns a lesson about getting a regular check-up. It’s a pretty simple episode, one that is probably most interesting for having aired two days after the 1976 presidential election. Kotter went to the doctor and Carter went to the White House but Mr. Woodman stayed right where he was.
Later, with the physical having been completed, Gabe tells Mr. Woodman, “You have to hear about my Uncle Kermit Kotter!”
“No, I don’t, Kotter!” Woodman replies.
Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit always used to walk by a bakery and he would see a woman hitting her son with a loaf of bread. One day, Uncle Kermit walked by and the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake. Gabe says that his Uncle Kermit asked why the woman was hitting her son with a chocolate cake and….
“And the woman says because it’s his birthday,” Woodman replies, “I already heard it, Kotter.”
Seriously, John Sylvester White was a national treasure.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, for #ScarySocial, I will be hosting 1970’s Bird With The Crystal Plumage! I can’t wait to watch Dario Argento’s directorial debut with everyone!
If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime and Tubi. I’ll be there co-hosting and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
Lightning Strikes was one of Aerosmith’s first videos to be created for MTV. (It was also their only single to chart during the Jimmy Crespo years.) The video switches back and forth from Aerosmith performing in a club and Aerosmith in a hallway, about to go to battle with a bunch melons.
Director Arnold Levine also directed the video for Aerosmith’s Chiquita, as well as videos for Cheap Trick and REO Speedwagon.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, T.S. insults the national sport of Canada and Amy battles city hall.
Episode 1.9 “On Ice”
(Dir by Alan Simmonds, originally aired on March 7th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Decker is forced to face the truth about a long-time friend.”
Though T and T took place in a generic city, the show itself was filmed in Canada, with a largely Canadian cast and crew. Hence, it only makes sense that the show would eventually do an episode that centered around hockey. This episode opens with Mr. T’s friend, Decker (David Nerman), coaching a junior hockey game. While the players skate on the ice and chase the puck, Decker deals with fans like the loud Mrs. Mowby (Jayne Eastwood), who is apparently convinced that she knows better how to coach the team than the actual coach! Unfortunately, Decker is yanked out of the game by two detectives who announce that he is under arrest for “theft of over $2,000.”
After T.S. Turner and Amy bails Decker out of jail, Amy explains that it appears that over $25,000 has been embezzled from the Junior Hockey Association. Decker admits to being the association’s treasurer but he also admits to not being good at numbers. He explains that his old friend, Goldie Stanski (played by Sean McCann), usually goes over the books for him.
“Goldie?” T.S. growls, “You trusted a guy named Goldie!?”
Decker explains that Goldie has been his friend for years. Goldie was his former coach! And, indeed, when Mrs. Mowby demands that Decker be kicked out of the Junior Hockey League, Goldie argues that Decker has not been convicted of anything, not that it does Decker much good. However, Detective Jones (Ken James) informs T.S. that “word on the street” is that Goldie has a gambling addiction.
Decker takes T.S. to his next practice and introduces T.S. to the team. They ask T.S. if he’s going to join them on the ice.
“No thanks, brothers,” T.S. replies, “I don’t play no sport when you can get frostbitten indoors. Besides, I think hockey’s an old ladies’ game …. Look at the ton of equipment you guys wear!”
After practice, Decker is arrested for a second time after the detectives, having gotten an anonymous tip, search his locker and just happen to find a bus ticket that leads to a bag full of money. Fortunately, Amy is able to bail him out of jail again, much to the relief of her spacey administrative assistant, Sophie (Catherine Disher), who has a crush on Decker.
T.S. has decided that Goldie is setting up Decker. Now, he just has to get Goldie to give himself away.
“I think with a little persuasion,” T.S. tells Amy, “he might do something foolish …. Friendly persuasion, of course!”
T.S.’s style of persuasion is to show up in Goldie’s apartment and tell him that everyone knows what Goldie’s done while drinking a glass of milk. “Thanks for the milk,” T.S. growls before leaving. When Goldie responds by going to the gym and pocketing more money from the hockey’s charity fund, Amy, T.S., and Decker are there to chase him out on the ice and catch him. If you’ve ever wanted to see Mr. T drive a Zamboni, this is the episode for you.
Decker’s name is cleared and he’s re-instated as coach. Yay!
This was a totally predictable episode but I kind of liked it. Mr. T on a Zamboni was just a ludicrous enough image to make the entire show work.
Episode 1.10 “The Latest Development”
(Dir by George Mihalka, aired on March 14th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us, “Amy and I fight City Hall …. and City Hall fights back!”
When a dumb, 13 year-old kid named Nick (Toby Proctor) breaks into a construction site and takes a bulldozer for a joyride, he accidentally destroys a truck. The owner of the site, Enzo Malec (George Touliatos), is determined to throw the book at Nick because he’s an evil developer and he wants both Nick and his grandmother, Cora (Helen Hughes), out of their home.
It turns out that one of Amy’s former classmates, Brian Brack (Richard Comar), works in the city’s legal department so she heads down to City Hall in an attempt to guilt him into allowing Cora to stay in her home. For once, we actually get to see Amy doing legal work, which basically amounts to wandering around with a file folder and rolling her eyes while having conversations with other people.
Meanwhile, T.S. takes Nick down to the construction site and convinces Malec to let Nick work off his debt as a construction worker. T.S. arranges for Cora to move in with gospel-singing Aunt Martha (Jackie Richardson) while Nick moves in with Decker.
Suddenly, building inspectors show up at Amy’s office and start searching for violations. “Brian Brack is responsible for this, isn’t he!?” Amy says, while the inspectors write her up for not having a window that opens quickly enough. That’s a $2,000 fine! Upon discovering that they are now going to war with city hall, T.S. tells Amy, “This could be a title bout!”
Amy confronts Brian at a fancy restaurant and tells him that she has discovered that he has invested in Enzo Malec’s development. She demands to know who he and Malec paid off at city hall. Brian tells Amy that she doesn’t know who she is missing with. Amy responds by tossing a drink on him. In a case of amazing timing, Alderman Kent (Mark Walker) shows up and asks if Amy is going to be joining him and Brian for lunch. Hmmm …. I wonder who the corrupt politician could be.
Meanwhile, T.S. and Decker help Nick deal with his anger by training him to box.
“I know how to fight!” Nick says.
“To win, you need a strategy,” T.S. replies.
T.S. proceeds to knock down a 13 year-old.
While T.S. is teaching Nick how to fight, the city is threatening to shut down Aunt Jackie’s foster home! When T.S. finds out, he puts on his dark jacket and starts to head off to City Hall so he can presumably beat up the mayor. Instead, Amy convinces him to hold off by revealing that Brian and Alderman Kent have been taking bribes from Enzo Malec. When T.S. heads down to the construction site, Malec panics and, later that night, he tries to burn a bunch of incriminating files. However, it turns out that he’s being filmed by Amy and the local news.
And that apparently fixes the whole thing!
This episode felt rushed as it basically only had 30 minutes to deal with an hour’s worth of complications. It only took one boxing lesson for Nick to let go of his anger and it only took one confrontation with T.S for Enzo Malec to make one sloppy mistake. That said, I appreciate any episode that portrays municipal government as being thoroughly corrupt and irredeemable. Fight the system!
Today is the 57th anniversary of the premiere of Star Trek on NBC. When the show was first airing on television, Gold Key Comics won the rights to publish a Star Trek comic book. The comic book lasted even after the show was canceled, running from 1968 to 1979. The comics adapted a few episodes from the show but, for the most part, it was a separate series with its own storylines. In 1979, when Star Trek was revived as a film, the producers declined to renew their contract to Gold Key and instead entered into a partnership with Marvel.
Here’s a sampling of the covers of Gold Key’s Star Trek.
As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix has got 1991’s American Ninja 4! When Michael Dudikoff teams up with David Bradley, it’s twice the ninja action!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
American Ninja 4 is available on Prime and Tubi! See you there!
Through the Shattered Lens 