Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Hang Time!  I’ll always remember me and my friends at hang time …. damn, that song really get stuck in your head.

Episode 3.21 “Kristy Connor”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1997)

So, apparently, Coach Fuller’s basketball camp is still a thing and the members of the team are still his camp counselors.  As I mentioned last week, it really does seem like everyone should be going to class and playing high school basketball but apparently, school is on hiatus.

After a long day of counseling basketball players, Kristy — who is NOT a basketball player so I’m still not really sure why she’s even at the camp — heads into town to get a pizza.  She borrows Julie’s jacket.  While at the pizza joint, she meets Jordan.  Jordan is a handsome and totally charming counselor at another camp.  He sees that Kristy is wearing Julie’s jacket and he immediately decides that Kristy must be his favorite basketball player, Julie Connor!  “You’re famous!” he says.  Julie is also blonde while Kristy has red hair so you have to wonder if Jordan is really that smart.  I mean, does he assume that anyone wearing a football jersey actually plays football?  Does he assume that the guy wearing a LeBron James t-shirt is actually LeBron James?  Or is he just really obsessed with that jacket?

Speaking of stupid, Coach Fuller asks Vince to call his father to have some hamburgers delivered to the camp.  Vince accidentally orders a cow.  Instead of telling Fuller what happened, the team tries to hide the cow in the camp.  Because that makes sense….

Anyway, Coach Fuller challenges the other camp to a basketball game.  Since Jordan is on the other team, Kristy has to pretend to be Julie on the court.  Jordan comes to realize that Kristy isn’t Julie but assures her that he still likes her.  “I like your red hair,” he says, which totally disproves my theory that he’s color-blind.

Eh.  I hate all of this camp stuff.  Let’s move on.

Episode 3.22 “Game Point”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 22nd, 1997)

“Remember that time you guys helped Teddy stop smoking?  Or helped Danny stand up to his bully?” Kristy asks, as this episode begins.

Oh, dammit, it’s a clip show.

Despite still being at the basketball camp, Kristy is having to do schoolwork.  It turns out that not all of her credits transferred from her “old school,” which I believe is the first time that the show has acknowledged that Kristy just kind of showed up out of nowhere at the start of season 3.  She’s having to write a paper on how team sports help people learn how to get along.  The players are a bit cynical about Kristy’s theory but she shows them the error of their ways by saying stuff like, “Remember when Michael first joined the team?”

It’s a clip show, with all of the awkward banter that tends to go with it.  It’s difficult to convincingly deliver lines like, “Remember that time we all stole Coach Fuller’s car?” or “Remember the last twelve guys Julie’s dated since this show began?”

Hopefully, next week, basketball camp will be a memory and the Tornadoes will be back in school!