Game Review: Dungeons and Deadlines (2020, Miles Matrix)

Stressed out, you lose focus and injure yourself using a stapler. You die from an untreated sepsis, because you didn’t make time to see a doctor.

You lasted 3 days.

That was my fate the first time that I played Dungeons and Dragons, a work simulator that is all about the horror of having a job.

I was so angry about dying of sepsis, I decided to try again.  This time, I said, I no stress.  When the game asked if I wanted to work overtime, I said no.  When the game asked if I would arrive early, ontime, or late, I picked late.

You get fired before the end of the probation period. Idiot.

You lasted 3 days.

Well, that didn’t work.  I decided to try again.  When you play Dungeons and Deadlines, the idea is to balance four ratings: stress, family, health, and esteem.  Keep them balanced and I guess you’ll make it.  Let one get too low or too high and you’ll lose your job or maybe your life.  This time, I was determined to be neither too lazy nor too much of a workaholic.  Instead, my goal was to just do an adequate job and keep everything balanced.

At first, my approach of showing up on time, doing the work, but spending the weekend with my family seemed to work well.  I survived past the third day.  On the 9th day, I was told this:

Elon Musk follows you back on Twitter. You’re so thrilled, you come too quickly when you have Sex with your spouse that night.

My family rating went down a little but my esteem rating went up.  Figuring that I had figured this game out, I continued to play.

On Day 17, I was given the choice of pulling a “work card” or a “life card.”  (This game not only simulates having a job but it also simulates playing a card game.)  Since I was at work, I went the the work card.  I made a mistake:

You finish your task faster than projected. Your supervisor is very happy with you. He also expects more from you now.

Up went my stress level.

You faint. All this stress has finally gotten to you. Your stomach ulcer bursts and you die. Ugh.

You lasted 18 days.

18 days!  To win the game, you have to survive 62 days.  Good luck with that.  As for me, I’m going to keep trying.

Play Dungeons and Deadlines.

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