I’m nearly done reviewing Witchcraft films and it’s not a moment too soon. Because nearly every single installment has shared the same weaknesses (and the same “strengths”), I’m running out of things to say about them. Even though I appreciate the franchise’s attempts to maintain a loose continuity over the course of 16 films and nearly 20 years, it can still be difficult to remember which Witchcraft was which. When did Lutz go to London? I think that was Witchcraft X. When was Will dead? That was Witchcrafts VII, VIII, and IX. But don’t ask me what happened in Witchcraft V or VI. It’s all just one big blur of softcore sex and needlessly complex rituals.
Witchcraft 15 picks up right where Witchcraft 14 ended. Witchcraft 15 even opens by reshowing us the final ten minutes of Witchcraft 14, albeit with scenes of a lesbian witch ritual spliced in. Samuel, the warlock yoga instructor, has been vanquished. Sharon (Noel VanBrocklin) has taken over the yoga coven and, because Sharon’s managed to convince everyone that she wasn’t really that involved with Samuel’s attempts to bring the Angel of Death out of Hell, young witch Rose (Molly Dougherty), takes a job at the studio. However, Sharon is still up to her old tricks so she occasionally possesses Rose’s body so that she can steal the souls of other witches and ultimately bring Samuel back to life. It makes no sense but, after you’ve seen enough of these movies, you learn to tolerate incoherence.
Detectives Lutz and Garner (Berta Roberts and LeRoy Castanon) are again investigating all of the mysterious deaths that are occurring because of the latest witch scheme. Will (Ryan Cleary) shows up to help them with the investigation. Will is no longer conflicted about his heritage or his past and he now moves around and talks like he’s the star of his own show on the CW. It all leads to another needlessly complex ceremony and a magical showdown.
Witchcraft 15 is stupid and trashy but it’s a Witchcraft film so that’s to be expected. Ryan Cleary is still not a convincing Will and even Lutz and Garner’s trademark banter feels forced. I do think that Rose and the yoga studio could have been interesting if the film was actually interested in any of that but Witchcraft 15 is ultimately just about getting the witches naked and cashing in on whatever nostalgia direct-to-video hounds might have for the Witchcraft franchise.
I’ve got one one more of these to go. Tomorrow — Witchcraft 16!