Just to make clear, the video is from 2016. The song, of course, is from John Carpenter’s 1981 film, Escape From New York.
Enjoy!
Monthly Archives: June 2020
Cinemax Friday: Maximum Force (1992, directed by Joseph Mehri)
Max Tanabe (Richard Lynch) is Los Angeles’s biggest crime lord, involved in everything from prostitution to illegal fight clubs. But, because he’s rich, no one can touch him. He plays golf with the mayor. He’s paid off the police commissioner (Mickey Rooney). The police commissioner spends the entire movie riding around in a limo. How do you think he was able to afford that?
Captain Fuller (John Saxon) needs some new jack cops to take down a new jack gangster so he goes out and recruits three. Cody Randal (Sherries Ross) works vice. Rick Carver (Jason Lively) is a “tech expert” who rigs toy cars with explosives. Mike Crews (Sam J. Jones) is looking to avenge the death of his partner. Fuller brings them together and put them through an extensive training course. At the end of it, he tests their skills and their teamwork by bringing in a secret team of ninjas to attack them.
Which begs the question: If you already have a secret team of ninjas, why do you have to recruit and train three detectives to take down Tanabe? Why not just have the ninjas do it?
So, logic is not exactly Maximum Force‘s strong point but it still has some good points. For instance, you have to respect any movie that can bring together Richard Lynch and John Saxon, not to mention Mickey Rooney! Of course, there’s not really much of a reason for Mickey Rooney to be there. All of his scenes feature him in the limo and they are edited together so awkwardly that it seems probable the he never actually acted opposite any of his co-stars. But it doesn’t matter because he’s Hollywood legend Mickey Rooney, picking up a paycheck in his twilight years. As for Saxon and Lynch, they do what they do best and bring gravitas to their otherwise stock roles.
As for the three heroes, they’re adequate even if none of them really shine. I liked the tech expert the best but that was just because he rigged all of those remote control cars to explode. Sam J. Jones and Sherrie Ross are both better at throwing punches than showing emotion but that’s what a film like this demands. Some of the fight scenes are exciting. There’s a helicopter attack early in the film. Towards the end of the film, when Mike decides that the team needs some extra help, he calls in an amateur wrestler named Bear who just randomly shows up during the final battle. Maximum Force knows what its audience wants and that’s the important thing.
An Offer You Can Refuse #5: The Happening (dir by Elliot Silverstein)
The 1967 film, The Happening, opens with two “young” people — Sureshot (Michael Parks) and Sandy (Faye Dunaway) — waking up on a Florida beach. The previous night, they attended a party so wild that the beach is full of passed out people, one of whom apparently fell asleep while standing on his head. (It’s a happening!) From the dialogue, we discover that, despite their impeccably clean-cut appearances, both Sureshot and Sandy are meant to be hippies.
After trying to remember whether or not they “made love” the previous night (wow, how edgy!), Sandy and Sureshot attempt to find their way off of the beach. As they walk along, they’re joined by two other partygoers. Taurus is played by George Maharis, who was 38 when this film was shot and looked about ten years older. Taurus is a tough guy who carries a gun and dreams of being a revolutionary and who says stuff like, “Bam! Et cetera!” Herbie is eccentric, thin, and neurotic and, presumably because Roddy McDowall wanted too much money, he’s played by Robert Walker, Jr.
Anyway, the four of them end up stealing a boat and talking about how life is a drag, man. Eventually, they end up breaking into a mansion and threatening the owner and his wife. Since this movie was made before the Manson murders, this is all played for laughs. The owner of the mansion is Roc Delmonico (Anthony Quinn). Roc used to be a gangster but now he’s a legitimate businessman. The “hippies” decide to kidnap Roc because they assume they’ll be able to get a lot of money for him.
The only problem is that no one is willing to pay the ransom!
Not Roc’s wife (Martha Hyer)!
Not Roc’s best friend (Milton Berle), who happens to be sleeping with Roc’s wife!
Not Roc’s former mob boss (Oscar Homolka)!
Roc gets so angry when he find out that no one wants to pay that he decides to take control of the kidnapping, He announces that he knows secrets about everyone who refused to pay any money for him and unless they do pay the ransom, he’s going to reveal them. We’ve gone from kidnapping to blackmail.
Along the way, Roc bonds with his kidnappers. He teaches them how to commit crimes and they teach him how to be anti-establishment or something. Actually, I’m not sure what they were supposed to have taught him. The Happening is a comedy that I guess was trying to say something about the divide between the young and the middle-aged but it doesn’t really have much of a message beyond that the middle-aged could stand to laugh a little more and that the young are just silly and kind of useless. Of course, the whole young/old divide would probably work better if all of the young hippies weren’t played by actors who were all either in their 30 or close enough to 30 to make their dorm room angst seem a bit silly.
It’s an odd film. The tone is all over the place and everyone seems to be acting in a different movie. Anthony Quinn actually gives a pretty good dramatic performance but his good performance only serves to highlight how miscast almost everyone else in the film is. Michael Parks comes across like he would rather be beating up hippies than hanging out with them while Faye Dunaway seems to be bored with the entire film. George Maharis, meanwhile, goes overboard on the Brando impersonation while Robert Walker, Jr. seems like he just needs someone to tell him to calm down.
But even beyond the weird mix of acting style, the film’s message is a mess. On the one hand, the “hippies” are presented as being right about the establishment being full of hypocritical phonies. On the other hand, the establishment is proven to be correct about the “hippies” being a bunch of easily distracted idiots. This is one of those films that wants to have it both ways, kind of like an old episode of Saved By The Bell where Mr. Belding learns to loosen up while Zack learns to respect authority. This is an offer that you can refuse.
And that’s what’s happening!
Previous Offers You Can’t (or Can) Refuse:
Artwork of the Day: Love Hungry Woman (Artist Unknown)
Artist Unknown
Music Video of the Day: Cool by Gwen Stefani (2005, dir. by Sophie Muller)
I ain’t no hollaback girl …. I ain’t no hollaback girl ….
Oh wait, wrong Gwen Stafani song. This one’s Cool too, though. In fact, that’s the name of the song! It’s all about how Gwen used to date this guy but they broke up but they’re still cool, as in they’re still friends. In this video, Gwen proves just how cool she is by inviting her ex and his now lover to her Italian villa.
This video was filmed at Lake Como, Italy and the main reason I like it is because I like Italy and watching a video like this reminds me of how much I want to go back and visit Italy. That was kind of the plan for the second half of this year but then the COVID-19 panic hit and upended everything.
By the way, are we still doing the quarantine thing? It’s hard to keep track. I know that two weeks ago, people were threatening to throw me up against the wall for wanting to go outside. Now, they want to do the same thing because I don’t want to go out. Personally, I just want to know that I can safely travel to Italy.
Anyway, enjoy this video and hopefully, we’ll all get to travel again at some point in the near future!
Dude, That’s Intense : Samuel Benson’s “Long Gone” #3
I first came across the work of Samuel Benson when, in fairness, he came across me and sent me a copy of his impressively strange full-length comic A Different Sky, a post-psychedelic exploration of altered consciousness, sci-fi high weirdness, and quasi-magical birds from a stoner/slacker perspective that struck a cord with its idiosyncratic dialogue, bizarre-yet-logically-consistent plotting, and just plain intense art, a combination of belabored cross-hatching, big eyes, nervous faces, and gritty urban rendering. It was quite unlike anything else in recent memory, but as it turns out that’s only because my “sample size” of Benson’s own work was pretty small.
In truth, unbeknownst to me until very recently, Benson has been self-publishing a magazine-formatted series called Long Gone Comix, the third issue of which just recently came out, and tonally and stylistically and artistically it serves up much the same kind of “far-out” cartooning A Different Sky
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Short + Sweet, “High + Shy”
Succinctly but accurately billing itself as “a collection of comics and drawings by Abby Jame” by its publisher, Silver Sprocket Bicycle Club, 2019’s High + Shy isn’t necessarily more than that — but, then again, it sort of is. And while it took me some time to get around to reading it — these are the things that happen when you’re damn near literally swimming in review copies — the simple fact is that it hit me in just the right way at just the right time.
By way of explanation, at least for those who don’t know, your friendly (usually) critic here lives precisely one block from the scene of George Floyd’s horrific murder on 38th & Chicago in south Minneapolis, and reading comics just didn’t factor into my daily routine for a number of days there because, well, there was no such thing a thing as a…
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An Offer You Can Refuse #4: The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight (dir by James Goldstone)
“Oh, fuck you.”
That was my reaction, last night, as I watched the 1971 film, The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight. I was talking to my DVR and yes, I was cursing quite a bit. You know that a film has to be bad when it actually drives me to start cursing at an inanimate object. The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight was so bad that I actually got pissed off at my DVR for recording it. It’s true that I am the one who scheduled the recording but still …. my DVR should have known better than to listen to me!
What is The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight about? I have no idea. I watched the damn movie and I have no idea what the point of it was. The film stars Jerry Orbach as a low-level gangster named Kid Sally. Kid Sally’s crew — the Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight — is made up of a collection of malcontents, morons, and other stereotypes. One member of the crew is a little person. That’s the joke. He’s a tough gangster who is wiling to put a bullet between your legs but that’s just because he’s crotch-height. Ha ha.
Anyway, the big boss is a guy named Baccala (Lionel Stander). Every morning, Baccala’s wife starts the car to check for bombs. Whenever she goes outside, Baccala crawls underneath the kitchen table and waits. Like a lot of the stuff in this movie, that’s one of those things that would be funny if it hadn’t been taken too such a cartoonish extreme. Anyway, Baccala has zero respect for Kid Sally and Kid Sally wants to take over Baccala’s rackets. Is it time for a mob war!?
Maybe. A lot of people die in various “amusing” ways over the course of the film but I was never quite sure whether or not the killings were part of a mob war or if they were just the type of random mishaps that occur when a bunch of dumbasses get their hands on a cache of weapons. Trying to follow the plot of The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight is next to impossible. The editing of the film is so ragged that you’re rarely aware of how one scene relates to another. If The Godfather showed how a gangster story could be a historical epic and if Goodfellas showed how an editor could recreate the kinetic experience of being a gangster, The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight shows how a mafia movie can just be a collection of random vignettes that may or may not be connected. It’s impossible to care about the potential war between Kid Sally and Baccala because neither Kid Sally nor Baccala exist as characters beyond their silly names.
A young Robert De Niro is in this film. He plays Mario, an Italian thief who comes to New York for a bicycle race and joins Kid Sally’s crew. Or at least, I think he joins the crew. It’s hard to tell. Mario often dresses like a priest, for some reason. He’s also fallen in love with Angela (Leigh Taylor-Young), who is Kid Sally’s sister though she could just as easily be his cousin or maybe his daughter-in-law from Tuscon. I wouldn’t necessarily say that De Niro gives a good performance here as much as it’s just impossible not to pay attention to him because he’s a young Robert De Niro. He and Leigh Taylor-Young do have a very sincere and touching chemistry but it’s out-of-place in a film that’s dominated by slapstick and scenes of Kid Sally using a lion to intimidate shop owners. (Yes, that happens.) De Niro certainly seems to be trying hard to give a good performance but he’s not a natural comedian. Of course, you don’t need me to tell you that. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE’VE ALL SEEN DIRTY GRANDPA!
Anyway, the main problem with this film is that it’s a comedy that was apparently put together by people who think that comedy involves a lot of screaming and silly music. I’ve actually seen a handful of other films that were directed by James Goldstone — Brother John, Rollercoaster, When Time Ran Out. Significantly, none of those other films were comedies and there’s nothing about any of Goldstone’s other films that suggest that he was anything more than a director-for-hire. The film itself was written by Waldo Salt, who also worked on the scripts for Midnight Cowboy, Coming Home, and Serpico. Again, none of those films are particularly funny. 70s era Mel Brooks probably could have made this into a funny film but James Goldstone and Waldo Salt could not.
As bad as The Gang Who Couldn’t Shoot Straight is, it is also the answer to a very interesting trivia question. This is the film that Al Pacino dropped out of when he was cast as Michael Corleone in The Godfather. The actor who replaced Pacino was Robert De Niro.
Anyway, The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight is an offer you can refuse.
Previous Offers You Can’t (or Can) Refuse:
Artwork of the Day: Sleep With The Devil
Artist Unknown
Music Video of the Day: Shut Up! by Simple Plan (2005, dir by Eric White)
We should get so lucky.
Enjoy!
Through the Shattered Lens 